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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

What's going wrong? What's putting girls off? Posted: 6/19/2013 6:47:31 PM
Ah yes, the No Headgames' clause. That's right up there with the No Drama, No Psychos, No Baggage and No Clingers Clauses, section 2c,d,e and f. Sadly, those that most need to be familiar with The Rules do not read them It also needs to be noted the No Liars or Cheaters Clause has since been removed from the original contract as the liars lied and the cheaters cheated. Can you now appreciate how ridiculous it is to say what you DON'T want? I've honestly never seen a profile in 5 years where ANYONE said, "I would like to meet a lying cheater who plays headgames.". C'mon.... You will need to use your life skills to filter out the weirdos, not your profile.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

What would you assume? Posted: 6/18/2013 10:02:11 PM
Really short profiles give the impression you're just messing around here. That, along with the "Wants to date but nothing serious" intent pretty much clinches it. The point of a profile is to let your viewer see your personality and humour, and to find things in common. Sparse Interests don't help. Soccer, Portuguese... Brazilian?

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Profile review please people Posted: 6/18/2013 5:23:38 PM
More photos for sure. Why not change that you're Looking For: DATING instead of HANGOUT? Girls hang out with their friends. Don't you? If you are ultimate looking for someone smoochable, think about it. I loved the harmonica line and weights line - good job at showcasing your humour!

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Profile review Posted: 6/18/2013 5:20:59 PM
It's not bad! Agreed, more photos are important. No shirtless bathroom mirror pics, though. Something from one of your holidays, maybe?

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

Profile review please Posted: 6/18/2013 5:18:51 PM
- since I smoke bud hence the reason why I filled out the smoking section. Like it all depends on what you classify as a drug I suppose but some women it might not fly right so I'm willing to take a gamble on that. OK... but having read over 6000 profile review requests on this and other sites in the past almost 5 years this is a big one for young women. You really don't want to piss someone off before they've had a chance to get to know you. Also, by excluding incoming emails from girls who have answered the Drugs question truthfully, you are again shooting yourself in the foot. No reason to put 420 in the Interests if you don't smoke weed and have answered truthfully in the Drugs question, but if you do smoke weed, don't be a chicken shit. Answer it correctly so that stoner girls can find you, too.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Profile Review please? Posted: 6/18/2013 1:45:12 PM
... on the other hand... someone who is also really into the show will have an automatic conversation starter.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Profile review please Posted: 6/18/2013 1:43:44 PM
I'm going to cut-and-paste some notes I made from another thread on sending first messages. The guy had "Fishing" as an Interest: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Try this template which may help you get over the 'writer's block' for first messages: Message: 3-4 sentence at most, light humoured, including 1 question only so she has an easy way to respond. Sign only your first name. Do not say: - Hi, Hey, Hello or How are you (wastes time) - I read your profile (should be obvious) - you're cute/pretty/beautiful (creepy in a first message) - let's meet up for .... (again, creepy/pushy in a first message) - check me out and email me back ( they know what to do already) - hope to hear from you soon (sounds like begging/desperate) Don't blather on about yourself - your profile is supposed to give information about you. If I were writing to you, I'd use the specific interest of Fishing. Actually, that is the exact interest I used when I first wrote to my (now) husband. Message: I just learned how to fly fish, but haven't actually caught anything yet. I much prefer spincast river fishing - fewer casualties! Have you been out yet this season? (first name only) See? No pressure, obviously I read your profile, open a conversation, easy way to respond if you choose.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Profile Review please? Posted: 6/18/2013 10:53:07 AM
Sounds like you're on the right track with the messages. Good luck!

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Profile review please Posted: 6/18/2013 10:52:33 AM
- the headline is obnoxious. Humour works better - height is a factor for many. Nothing you can do about it, just be patient - all your photos are virtually identical. Max 2-3 headshots, the rest should be outdoors, casual, some full length, something from a recent holiday - variety! - you didn't answer the drinking question, which implies you have an alcohol problem - the Interests indicate you are a party boy. - if you smoke weed, you need to answer the Drugs question correctly. - massive wall of words won't get read. Break it up into smaller paragraphs and delete anything negative. I usually read all the profiles, but there's just no way I'm going to bother considering the rest of the profile is pretty sad at this point. Once you've done some editing, post back to this same thread for more feedback. ps - Keep in mind someone viewing your profile doesn't mean anything. Many more women will be 'viewing' your profile in stealth mode so you don't even know they've been there. Imagine how many opportunities you've lost already.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Profile Review please? Posted: 6/18/2013 10:48:10 AM
There are no major red flags but there are also no memorable points. Main photo is a good passport photo, not so much for a dating site. It would have been MUCH better if you were smiling (with teeth) or laughing. Got anything like that?? Other photos in the gallery would be helpful to expand on your image - something from a recent holiday/getaway? The vagueness around your work is silly. At least mention what industry/field you are in. The Interests are almost solely related to things with wheels. What about a favourite music group or artist? author? local attraction? food, cuisine, or dessert? tv show? comedian? sport you play or team you follow? Holiday spot??? This is where your viewer finds things in common and gets a sense of your personality/humour, deciding if she is intrigued enough to want to read more. As it is now, it's very one-dimensional. For me, email restrictions for guys are silly. Unless you're being overwhelmed with incoming messages, why bother? You will be doing 99.9999999infinity% of the initial messaging anyway. What are your introduction messages typically like??

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Profile review please Posted: 6/18/2013 10:42:28 AM
Yup, it's pretty straight forward. No detail, no personality, no humour. The picture is nice. A better picture would be you actually looking at the camera and smiling. As you've listed yourself as 'athletic', why not add some photos of you doing something? There are many ways to elaborate your profile to add detail, personality and humour. This is what will make you memorable. However, to get a girl to read your profile you need the photos for 'eye-candy'. Yes, it's as shallow as that for most. What are your introduction messages like??

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Can someone take a look at my profile please Posted: 6/17/2013 9:39:17 PM
Actively seeking a relationship, yet just looking for: Friends. Hmmm.... I thought you said you had friends in your profile? If you are ultimately looking for someone smoochable, change that to Dating. What are your introduction messages like??

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Would greatly appreciate a profile review. Lots of views, few msgs Posted: 6/17/2013 9:36:23 PM
You're probably cute, but we'd never know it by any of your photos. Clear, forward facing, smiling shoulders up head shot as the main, no sunglasses, caps. The bolded lines are unnecessary as you already say this is your work. What if someone thinks animals are just kinda meh? Or likes some animals, but not ALL animals? That's just too weird. Otherwise, very creative and a good read. What are your introduction messages like??

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Lots of responses please Posted: 6/17/2013 9:32:02 PM
Totally two thumbs up. Very well done. So far as the age and relationship timing, I met my husband when he was 50 and he'd not had a relationship over 2 yrs long. He was picky and said he was just waiting for the right one. (awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.........)

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Profile review please Posted: 6/17/2013 9:26:10 PM
Maybe just a couple more tweaks... The warning is useless. You can remove it, it means literally nothing on here. The email restrictions could be eliminated, except for No Married/druggies or Intimate encounters. The rest are probably negotiable. Legit guys don't usually search beyond an hour's drive and you never know who's having a birthday this weekend!

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Hi, New to this site looking for a Profile review Posted: 6/17/2013 9:21:24 PM
I love the picture in the gi, but not for the main. Clear, well lit, shoulders up smiling head shot works best for the main. Consider someone viewing you on a cellphone app. The profile is written in a very formal tone. You can have some fun with it but obviously not the foshizzle version suggested. If you can split the larger paragraphs again, it will make for an easier read, too. The first date idea feels awkward. "The lady" is the viewer, you are talking to her. How about "It's really lady's choice, but why not a beverage on a patio so we can enjoy some peoplewatching while we get to know each other?" Dinner is too much of a commitment for a first meeting.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Is there any decent girls out there? Posted: 6/17/2013 9:17:50 PM
(I love reading cowboy's posts now that he's no longer a moderator!) Dude, the photos suck. Get into daylight, smile. You do drugs socially. Yes, it's probably only weed, but it's enough to turn off a LOT of young women. Don't lie and change it. Same with smoking - a complete turnoff to many, many women. You have a smartass answer for your job. Put in something generic if you're embarrassed about it. Food services? Warehouseman? Sales? All I remember from the profile is that you keep saying you're a nice guy. Humour, description and details make you memorable. What makes you laugh? What kind of sense of humour do you have? What do you do for fun? What are your introduction messages like??

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Profile review please Posted: 6/17/2013 9:12:11 PM
Agreed on the 2nd paragraph. If it goes without saying, don't say it. I almost fell asleep there. "Crotcheting" as an Interest is a wonderfully hilarious typo. You spell it correctly in your profile, though. For me, I was never looking for a friend. I have lots of friends. It's common sense a person has to enjoy the company of the person they're dating. Unless you're just looking for 'friends', you can safely lose that opening, too. Do make sure to write to men you find interesting. Good luck.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Profile review needed please Posted: 6/16/2013 1:27:37 PM
So now your headline and email settings don't match for the age range you are looking for. Once again, if you truly are less than 5feet tall, it will be difficult for guys to find you on a search so you will likely have to send a lot of initial messages to be noticed.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Please Help!!!! Posted: 6/16/2013 11:53:20 AM
Guys will be looking for a closeup/shoulders up smiling headshot. They want to see your face! The profile is overly detailed in some places (tv/movies/bucket list) and remarkably vague in others ("I cook"). If I were a guy, I'd have no idea if I would be what you were looking for. It sounds like you have a lot to offer the right guy. A little bit desperately phrased, though. Perhaps dial back the hopeless romantic and bring out the funny, humourous girl that a guy can be comfortable talking to without feeling like you're going to start planning your wedding menu on the second date. Have a read through some of the profiles of the people who have posted on your thread for ideas. I'm going to cut-and-paste some notes I made from another thread on sending first messages. The guy had "Fishing" as an Interest: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Try this template which may help you get over the 'writer's block' for first messages: Message: 3-4 sentence at most, light humoured, including 1 question only so she has an easy way to respond. Sign only your first name. Do not say: - Hi, Hey, Hello or How are you (wastes time) - I read your profile (should be obvious) - you're cute/pretty/beautiful (creepy in a first message) - let's meet up for .... (again, creepy/pushy in a first message) - check me out and email me back ( they know what to do already) - hope to hear from you soon (sounds like begging/desperate) Don't blather on about yourself - your profile is supposed to give information about you. If I were writing to you, I'd use the specific interest of Fishing. Actually, that is the exact interest I used when I first wrote to my (now) husband. Message: I just learned how to fly fish, but haven't actually caught anything yet. I much prefer spincast river fishing - fewer casualties! Have you been out yet this season? (first name only) See? No pressure, obviously I read your profile, open a conversation, easy way to respond if you choose.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Nobody replies, and those who view dont message. Posted: 6/16/2013 11:44:45 AM
You've been a member for three days and already you're whining??? Honey, this is NOT McDating where you drive up to a window and order a hot babe with a side of humour. This will takes months if you do it correctly. The photos you have are good, but for a main we want to see a smile. Teeth. Let someone else take it. You have a decent variety of Interests and someone who'd be a good match for you will appreciate the guns/range info. So long as you are smoking, don't waste your time writing to girls that don't smoke. The negativity in your profile is really off-putting, too. As already noted, women [I]rarely[/I] send random introduction messages. Expect you will be doing all the intros. You've already figured out that the one-liners are not generally a good idea, but paragraphs are also not going to work. 2-3 sentences at most including a question on one topic in her profile is enough for an initial message. Light humour is good if you can work it in. Be patient, have no expectations, keep looking in real life. Good luck.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Heya, help please? Posted: 6/16/2013 11:28:54 AM
I seem to be getting all the wrong attention, Wierdo pervs are going to be attracted to you based on the username. That's a no-brainer. Decent guys looking for something real/long term are going to expect you are looking for something 'sexual' based on the username. Again, a no-brainer. Everyone has a sexual side, yes, but unless that's what you want to base your relationship on, consider a new username. There is way too much blah blah blah in your two opening paragraphs and not enough information about who you'd like to meet. You've been given some great advice already. I'd love to see a rewrite. The other way to move forward with meeting someone is to actually contact men YOU find interesting.

you go first

Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Help spicing it up? Posted: 6/15/2013 2:20:45 PM
So far as your occupation goes, why not Freelance Journalist/Student? You already know about photos. My only concern - and it's coming from a completely different generation - is that you mention you like to blog about stuff. As a hypothetical person you would date, I'd be worried you'd be yapping all about those dates. Discretion?

you go first

Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Hello, please critique my profile. Posted: 6/15/2013 2:16:28 PM
It's really not bad. But... You could always use more photos. Got one in the kayak? Add one or two of the bands/specific artists in your Interests field. A short closing line or two about what and who you are looking for would be good. You could easily lose the last line in your first paragraph and still have enough info to be understood. By 20 messages back and forth, you should have already asked to continue the conversation over coffee. If you are getting one or two word responses, just stop, or ask then if they're already chatting with someone (they usually are if that's what you're getting). Girls on these sites have a lot of attention, and the old saying applies: You snooze, you lose. They don't want penpals, they want to meet someone. If you get a sense that she's interested in responding, don't wait for 20 messages. If she does want to meet, she will. If she's just playing games, she'll 'poof'.

you go first

Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Hide profile or message Posted: 6/15/2013 2:10:32 PM
my question is , should i just hide my profile till i loose the weight or leave it with the message Neither. Half a stone/7 pounds is only a big deal in your mind, unless you put on all the weight in one spot like your left forearm, then yeah, it will look weird. Otherwise, we really don't give a rat's ass about 7 pounds/half a stone. What DOES come through is that you are obsessed with your weight as a number and that implies a whole lot of OCD issues. Or - if you're dating someone and SHE puts on a couple of pounds, are you going to weigh and measure her then bin her if she's outside a certain imaginary line? Bigger issues than hiding the profile here, honey...

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Why don't they message back? Posted: 6/14/2013 8:44:12 PM
Hmmm... I was shorter, older and chunkier than you when I was first looking, yet I had an 80-85% response rate on my first messages. Your profile has some good information, but not a lot of humour. For someone who writes about having fun and all that, it just doesn't feel like it. Are you holding back? You can see my original profile attached for an idea of what I'm talking about. I'm going to cut-and-paste some notes I made from another thread on sending first messages. The guy had "Fishing" as an Interest: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Try this template which may help you get over the 'writer's block' for first messages: Message: 3-4 sentence at most, light humoured, including 1 question only so she has an easy way to respond. Sign only your first name. Do not say: - Hi, Hey, Hello or How are you (wastes time) - I read your profile (should be obvious) - you're cute/pretty/beautiful (creepy in a first message) - let's meet up for .... (again, creepy/pushy in a first message) - check me out and email me back ( they know what to do already) - hope to hear from you soon (sounds like begging/desperate) Don't blather on about yourself - your profile is supposed to give information about you. If I were writing to you, I'd use the specific interest of Fishing. Actually, that is the exact interest I used when I first wrote to my (now) husband. Message: I just learned how to fly fish, but haven't actually caught anything yet. I much prefer spincast river fishing - fewer casualties! Have you been out yet this season? (first name only) See? No pressure, obviously I read your profile, open a conversation, easy way to respond if you choose.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Profile Review Please Posted: 6/14/2013 8:36:33 PM
"Isn't seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment" implies NSA/F-buddies. Are you not looking to date? ultimately a relationship? If not, no worries, it just makes it confusing to try and match that with what you are saying in the rest of your profile. Add specifics in your Interests field. ie: instead of the generic "music", for example, note your favourite artist or group. Same for any other generic interest (food, travel, reading, sports, movies, etc.) I'm going to cut-and-paste some notes I made from another thread on sending first messages. The guy had "Fishing" as an Interest: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Try this template which may help you get over the 'writer's block' for first messages: Message: 3-4 sentence at most, light humoured, including 1 question only so she has an easy way to respond. Sign only your first name. Do not say: - Hi, Hey, Hello or How are you (wastes time) - I read your profile (should be obvious) - you're cute/pretty/beautiful (creepy in a first message) - let's meet up for .... (again, creepy/pushy in a first message) - check me out and email me back ( they know what to do already) - hope to hear from you soon (sounds like begging/desperate) Don't blather on about yourself - your profile is supposed to give information about you. If I were writing to you, I'd use the specific interest of Fishing. Actually, that is the exact interest I used when I first wrote to my (now) husband. Message: I just learned how to fly fish, but haven't actually caught anything yet. I much prefer spincast river fishing - fewer casualties! Have you been out yet this season? (first name only) See? No pressure, obviously I read your profile, open a conversation, easy way to respond if you choose.

You go first

Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

No Feedback Posted: 6/14/2013 8:31:39 PM
"Wants to date but nothing serious" = pass. 420/Smoking anything = pass. Break up the massive wall of words so it's a couple of smaller paragraphs - makes it easier for your viewer to read.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Trying to get the ladies review ...... Posted: 6/14/2013 8:27:16 PM
I have shirtless photos of ___seek___ for sale. They're worth it.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Need opinions on profile please Posted: 6/9/2013 9:07:41 AM
First and foremost, I'm a Christian. As this is 'first and foremost' in your life, you may want to try the Christian singles sites. If you are going to keep a profile on this site, you may want to specify which branch of Christianity you are affiliated with to avoid any unnecessary unpleasantries.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Any improvements? Posted: 6/9/2013 9:04:39 AM
The profile is pretty decent now, just needs the few suggested tweaks. I'm wondering, though, why you chose the barber image as your username? That doesn't seem to relate to anything in your profile? The only other thing I'd emphasize is losing the whole "If I don't respond..." stuff. When I was looking, that told me the guy was expecting to be inundated with incoming messages from everyone looking to hit on him and had some exaggerated sense of his own attractiveness. Perhaps if you ARE swamped with incoming messages you could have that kind of disclaimer. Or, you could just do what the girls do - ignore/block/delete.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Well Posted: 6/9/2013 8:56:40 AM
To recap: More photos that you didn't take yourself. Expand the Interests (add a favourite music group, author, sport/team, food/cuisine, tv show, holiday spot, bacon) Remove the email restrictions, unless you are truly overwhelmed with incoming messages. I'm going to cut-and-paste some notes I made from another thread on sending first messages. The guy had "Fishing" as an Interest: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Try this template which may help you get over the 'writer's block' for first messages: Message: 3-4 sentence at most, light humoured, including 1 question only so she has an easy way to respond. Sign only your first name. Do not say: - Hi, Hey, Hello or How are you (wastes time) - I read your profile (should be obvious) - you're cute/pretty/beautiful (creepy in a first message) - let's meet up for .... (again, creepy/pushy in a first message) - check me out and email me back ( they know what to do already) - hope to hear from you soon (sounds like begging/desperate) Don't blather on about yourself - your profile is supposed to give information about you. If I were writing to you, I'd use the specific interest of Fishing. Actually, that is the exact interest I used when I first wrote to my (now) husband. Message: I just learned how to fly fish, but haven't actually caught anything yet. I much prefer spincast river fishing - fewer casualties! Have you been out yet this season? (first name only) See? No pressure, obviously I read your profile, open a conversation, easy way to respond if you choose.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Profile review needed please Posted: 6/9/2013 8:50:50 AM
Are you really shorter than 5 feet? You may want to touch on that in the profile and back it up with a casual full length shot. "Prefer not to say" in the kids question implies you hate kids, or at least will not date guys with kids. If that is the case, you can always change the answer to Does Not Want Kids and stop wasting time making guys guess, especially the ones that may want a family, or already have one. Do also write to guys YOU find interesting.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Profile reviews please guys and girls, preferably girls Posted: 6/9/2013 8:46:23 AM
You are cute as hell, that's for sure. Agree on losing the last two lines, but move your 'romantic/possible' line to the end. That would be a nice finishing comment. I'm going to cut-and-paste some notes I made from another thread on sending first messages. The guy had "Fishing" as an Interest: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Try this template which may help you get over the 'writer's block' for first messages: Message: 3-4 sentence at most, light humoured, including 1 question only so she has an easy way to respond. Sign only your first name. Do not say: - Hi, Hey, Hello or How are you (wastes time) - I read your profile (should be obvious) - you're cute/pretty/beautiful (creepy in a first message) - let's meet up for .... (again, creepy/pushy in a first message) - check me out and email me back ( they know what to do already) - hope to hear from you soon (sounds like begging/desperate) Don't blather on about yourself - your profile is supposed to give information about you. If I were writing to you, I'd use the specific interest of Fishing. Actually, that is the exact interest I used when I first wrote to my (now) husband. Message: I just learned how to fly fish, but haven't actually caught anything yet. I much prefer spincast river fishing - fewer casualties! Have you been out yet this season? (first name only) See? No pressure, obviously I read your profile, open a conversation, easy way to respond if you choose.

You go first

Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Profile opinion please. Posted: 6/9/2013 8:42:09 AM
Really good rewrite! The only other suggestions I have are to work on getting a clear smiling head/shoulders shot as your main. At 5'6", you really need to impress with your smile. You may also want to remove all the email restrictions except No Smokers/Druggies/Married. I'm going to cut-and-paste some notes I made from another thread on sending first messages. The guy had "Fishing" as an Interest: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Try this template which may help you get over the 'writer's block' for first messages: Message: 3-4 sentence at most, light humoured, including 1 question only so she has an easy way to respond. Sign only your first name. Do not say: - Hi, Hey, Hello or How are you (wastes time) - I read your profile (should be obvious) - you're cute/pretty/beautiful (creepy in a first message) - let's meet up for .... (again, creepy/pushy in a first message) - check me out and email me back ( they know what to do already) - hope to hear from you soon (sounds like begging/desperate) Don't blather on about yourself - your profile is supposed to give information about you. If I were writing to you, I'd use the specific interest of Fishing. Actually, that is the exact interest I used when I first wrote to my (now) husband. Message: I just learned how to fly fish, but haven't actually caught anything yet. I much prefer spincast river fishing - fewer casualties! Have you been out yet this season? (first name only) See? No pressure, obviously I read your profile, open a conversation, easy way to respond if you choose. Good luck!

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Where are the quality men? Posted: 6/9/2013 8:39:18 AM
"A long time" is not 6 months. On these sites it can take a lot longer if you're choosy. It took me a year and a half and 12 'auditions' to find the right one. You have a great main photo and great Interests to use as conversation starters. The profile itself consists of 3 sentences which are lists of words with no personality. Only the Chinese Food line has humour and personality. Can you see the difference? Although most guys appreciate lists, you still need to convey personality and humour. Your qualificiations for a partner as listed in your profile are so vague any guy will consider himself qualified. The smart ones may wonder why it's so vague and find The Great Wall of Email Restrictions make you seem ridiculously picky. Really, other than No Smokers/Druggies/Married, the rest are truly negotiable. Why not mention what you feel makes a 'quality' man without using the cliches? Is it the calm, thoughtful personality? A strong work ethic and sense of responsibility? (go for the oldest child in the family if this is what you're looking for, just sayin') The ability to laugh off the daily grind and focus on building a relationship? Or is it more material, like have a good-paying career, owns his own place and has no ex-wives with their hands out? You may want to be a bit more specific so they can recognize themselves. No matter what you write, there will be a certain number of weirdo pervs that write silly or vulgar messages. You can simply ignore those ones, that's what the delete and block buttons are for. On the other hand, some men are just not up on dating site etiquette and truly don't know what they should be doing to introduce themselves. You may be dismissing someone who would be a great potential match based on your idea of what constitutes the ideal guy. That would be a shame.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Would be greatful of some profile feed back :) Posted: 6/8/2013 4:34:02 PM
Nice! Now add some more. ps - add "Chocolate" or your favourite Dessert in your Interests field. It puts a picture in your viewer's mind immediately and hey, who doesn't like chocolate. Or bacon...

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Help me control my self-expression! Posted: 6/8/2013 12:06:56 PM
Why not sneak in a bit more humour? Unless it's vulgar or you feel the need to add lol or some silly emoticon after every sentence, go for it. Clearer photos would also help!

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Profile review, need help! Posted: 6/4/2013 10:27:18 PM
Holy bleep. Your email restrictions are almost longer than your profile! Delete all but the absolute dealbreakers (ie No Druggies/Married or Intimate Encounters) Your Interests are mainly generic and should be specific. ie: Hockey should be, oh, I dunno, Vancouver Canucks... just sayin'... Same with the other generics. Replace them with one or two-word specifics to show personality and humour. I'm going to cut-and-paste some notes I made from another thread on sending first messages. The guy had "Fishing" as an Interest: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Try this template which may help you get over the 'writer's block' for first messages: Message: 3-4 sentence at most, light humoured, including 1 question only so she has an easy way to respond. Sign only your first name. Do not say: - Hi, Hey, Hello or How are you (wastes time) - I read your profile (should be obvious) - you're cute/pretty/beautiful (creepy in a first message) - let's meet up for .... (again, creepy/pushy in a first message) - check me out and email me back ( they know what to do already) - hope to hear from you soon (sounds like begging/desperate) Don't blather on about yourself - your profile is supposed to give information about you. If I were writing to you, I'd use the specific interest of Fishing. Actually, that is the exact interest I used when I first wrote to my (now) husband. Message: I just learned how to fly fish, but haven't actually caught anything yet. I much prefer spincast river fishing - fewer casualties! Have you been out yet this season? (first name only) See? No pressure, obviously I read your profile, open a conversation, easy way to respond if you choose.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

In need of profile review....Women please help Posted: 6/4/2013 10:24:31 PM
I'm afraid I've had one too many Wisers to offer any advice on the actual profile (although I got a little irritated with the kids stuff over and over and over... and really, do you NEED to have their faces on an adult dating site for anyone to see???) but I'll offer this for you: I'm going to cut-and-paste some notes I made from another thread on sending first messages. The guy had "Fishing" as an Interest: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Try this template which may help you get over the 'writer's block' for first messages: Message: 3-4 sentence at most, light humoured, including 1 question only so she has an easy way to respond. Sign only your first name. Do not say: - Hi, Hey, Hello or How are you (wastes time) - I read your profile (should be obvious) - you're cute/pretty/beautiful (creepy in a first message) - let's meet up for .... (again, creepy/pushy in a first message) - check me out and email me back ( they know what to do already) - hope to hear from you soon (sounds like begging/desperate) Don't blather on about yourself - your profile is supposed to give information about you. If I were writing to you, I'd use the specific interest of Fishing. Actually, that is the exact interest I used when I first wrote to my (now) husband. Message: I just learned how to fly fish, but haven't actually caught anything yet. I much prefer spincast river fishing - fewer casualties! Have you been out yet this season? (first name only) See? No pressure, obviously I read your profile, open a conversation, easy way to respond if you choose.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Would be greatful of some profile feed back :) Posted: 6/4/2013 6:31:09 AM
Defiantly - with defiance. Definitely - with certainty. Ugh.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Profile Review Request Posted: 6/3/2013 7:30:08 PM
The age settings are the icing on the cake. You are evidently basing your next relationship on the physical aspects so, for this reason alone, I would not recommend you change anything as it is to obviously critically important to you. Strangely enough, many people with 'vanilla' profiles have their own underlying 'edge' that comes out with the right person. Some of us just didn't feel the need to make it the focus of our search. Good luck, though.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

check out my profile Posted: 6/3/2013 7:26:28 PM
A smile would be awesome. For someone with such a well-written profile, your Interests list does nothing to create a reason to read any further. No specifics, no personality, no humour. I bet you could fix that easily.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Very few women respond to me Posted: 6/3/2013 7:23:30 PM
If you are going to be weird about adding new photos, at least crop the checkered shirt photo to shoulders up so it will show your face on a little cellphone app. Your Interests field is boring. music writing inventing history fishing "Music" should be replaced with your favourite group or artist. Add Bagpipes. I thought you said you play several instruments? "Writing" what? novels? erotica? poetry? "Inventing" is actually rather unique. Do you expand on this in the profile by adding a sentence about why you enjoy it? "History" like what? Roman Empire? Civil War? Renaissance? Be specific. "Fishing" is probably OK if there are limited choices in your area. What about a sport you play or team you follow? Favourite food, cuisine or dessert? Author? (Dean Koontz would be a good start) TV Show or Comedian? See what I mean?

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Would be greatful of some profile feed back :) Posted: 6/3/2013 7:16:12 PM
Replace the generic Interests with one or two-word specific examples. Add a favourite TV show or comedian, dessert... things to show a personality and sense of humour. What are your introduction messages like??

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Honest and direct women's reviews of my profile please Posted: 6/3/2013 7:13:17 PM
It's a good read. You may want to add a few more specific Interests in that field that are not necessarily sport-related. You may also want to eliminate some if not most of your email restrictions. Even the ones that fit your criteria may get the impression you are too picky. Picky is fine, a gauntlet is ridiculous.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Please review my profile Posted: 6/3/2013 7:03:20 PM
Ditto on the photos. Teeth are really important. I love the line about 'foreigners'. You mean like Canadians? Cuz we're just so different... The whining about smoking and drinking can go. If by some miracle you are contacted by a smoker, simply either ignore the message or reply that you are looking for a non-smoker. Or - add a No Smokers email restriction. Simple fix, makes you look less whiny automatically. For someone looking for something Long Term, there needs to be more information your Interests and activities that your viewer can use to find things in common. The actual Interests field contains many generic words that should be replaced with specific one or two-word examples. This is where you can have fun with your personality and humour before she even reads the profile.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Irish guy seeking advice Posted: 6/3/2013 6:57:46 PM
I agree - the written portion is quite well done, but the photos are not really showing off your eyes and smile. That is SO critical for your first and often only chance at getting your viewer's attention.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Bad/ no luck for months - Drowning in a fish-less sea Posted: 6/3/2013 6:55:15 PM
You definitely clean up nice! The main photo is OK, but a bit blurry. Why no smile with teeth??

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Girl feedback wanted - Is my profile really that intimidating? Just honest I say. Posted: 6/3/2013 6:52:30 PM
"Intimidating" is definitely not one of the words I would have selected. I had thought the site had done away with the Intimate Encounter selection, so I guess this is your own version of a workaround. Although, there are a lot more dating sites that are more suited to what you are looking for than this one. However, if this one is working for you to get responses to your messages, why bother changing anything?

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