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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

I would appreciate feedback about my profile. Posted: 11/22/2009 5:25:09 PM
I spelled perfect with a "k" on purpose. um, yeah, I know... that's why it made me laugh!

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

my page! is it too much??? Posted: 11/22/2009 4:46:11 PM
Titanium is spelled incorrectly. I can't go on.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

I could use a review! Posted: 11/22/2009 4:39:53 PM
BUMP Here's your original thread. Other than this part: like going out on the weekends. I usually go to places like "taco bell" or "burger king" the taste of the food is good and I just love junk food. Last night I had this large stuffed crust pizza, With peperoni, and a side of "cinni-sticks" Man that was good! I find going out for a pizza is also a great date Idea. Or even just to do with some good friends. Everyone enjoys a good pizza right? And plus it goes great with beer! ...the rest is awful. And this isn't so great, but at least it's got good description and elaboration. I was surprised you're 29 because the profile and interests truly read like a teen. Women looking for Long Term (notice I didn't say "girls") want to see some stability, responsibility and nurturing/parent skills. You'll need another rewrite, I'm afraid. Please, check out the profile writing tips in green lettering at the top of this forum page. When you're ready, you can search your threads by typing in your username in the search field and selecting 'username' from the dropdown menu.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

help out a new user Posted: 11/22/2009 3:14:45 PM
Mike! You were totally stoned when you wrote this, weren't you. It's a rambling mess. You could still write The Golden Profile and have fantastic photos but you do Drugs and that's a dealbreaker for virtually all the girls of childbearing age here. Don't even bother with the 'it's not a drug' argument because it's still illegal. If you want to do that, no problem. Just be prepared for a very long wait here. When you're having a clear moment, read the Profile Writing Tips in green lettering at the top of this forum page. Bottom line: - Smiling photos - at least 8-10 real interests - profile body without typos or text talk - a paragraph about you - a paragraph about what you like to do - a paragraph about who you are hoping to meet here, using positive language only

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Something's gotta be wrong, right? Posted: 11/22/2009 3:06:32 PM
Other than the drugs stuff, the profile is actually not bad for your age group - lots of energy. You may want to mention specifically where you go skiing - if your viewer has been there, it will be something you automatically have in common. For the "Prefer not to Say" answer for kids, that translates here to "I will hate your kids". Pick another one - "Undecided/Open" is good, unless you really don't want to get involved with a single mom at this point. You may also want to try using the advance search and for the little interests field, key in 420 and see how many other users in your area pop up. Or - do your own searches with the "socially" answer in the drugs question and see how many girls are available. Once again, it's not your perception of what's a drug and what's not, it's your viewer.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Profile Review Please Posted: 11/22/2009 2:59:49 PM
Cute main photo! Need more pictures with you smiling. The profile itself is a random list and doesn't feel like a conversation. Which do you remember longer: a list of 20 random words, or a really filthy joke? ... exactly... Use your great sense of humour to expand on your Interests. Italian food? Make me drool. Write a picture. Delete the dislikes - no room for negativity here. Add a line or two about who you are hoping to meet here. Using positive language only, what is she like? You can have a little fun with this, too. Good luck!

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

I would appreciate feedback about my profile. Posted: 11/22/2009 2:55:45 PM
Yes, pictures, blah blah blah.. get on that. Did you notice you have 4 alcoholic beverages listed in your Interests field but only have "Socially" for the drinking question? Perhaps replace the t0-kill-ya with Jazz or something less party-ish. You only gave 2 lines about your sense of humour but it didn't translate very well to the rest of the profile. I did, however, chuckle at the "I'm not perfekt" line because spelling mistakes make me grind my teeth. Let some of the humour come through in the profile - it will be more memorable to your viewer. In your first date section, you've got a line where you're inviting women to shoot you down. Stoppit. Don't plant that seed.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Report Any Forum Violations - Click Here Posted: 11/22/2009 2:47:20 PM
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts13435655.aspx Username: tnr38 Forum: Profile Reviews Msg 25: Problem: admits he's not interested in meeting anyone, "just here to troll the forum." Has been antagonistic to the reviewers/posters.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Need a profile review! Posted: 11/22/2009 2:41:00 PM
I'm the same age as you, same field of work. Check out my profile for an idea on what works in our age range. I have a better than 80% response rate and have met nothing but great guys here. (and recently one very special one!) If I were looking and found your profile, my thoughts would be that the photos are a pretty good variety (more smiles are always good) and the Interests so-so. The profile itself feels like a list of statements rather than a conversation intended to get my attention. For someone looking for passion and intensity, you need to give your viewer a hint you can bring the same to the table. Nothing smutty, of course, just a robust enthusiasm and joy for life can be attractive. If I made it that far, I'd be out of there with the email restrictions. Women your age will be searching for your age group and will be offended at the lower limit you've set. The younger ones generally are searching only within a few years of their own age. As already suggested, perhaps deleting the age restrictions entirely may work to get first contact messages and then you have the option to politely decline. Consider also what's going into your introductory messages. Light, casual and short works best - as does humour (not sarcasm). A unique subject line, mentioning something specific from her profile and an appropriate comment, followed by a question is all you need. Don't give her your life story - your profile is supposed to give enough detail for her to decide if she's interested and if you have anything in common. If you're concerned how your introductory messages are being received, feel free to use my profile as a test sample and send me a practice message for private comment. No charge.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

think I got a good one here Posted: 11/22/2009 11:56:16 AM
Don't post the shirtless picture. It's against "The Rules" and will get deleted. When you present an antagonistic profile, you'll get that back. Do you really want to invite that kind of drama into your life? I look forward to the rewrite.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

I try, really... Posted: 11/21/2009 1:59:30 PM
Amazing rewrite. Now change "Hangout" to "Dating" and you're good to go.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Penises Posted: 11/21/2009 12:12:42 AM
how do you like your penises I don't actually have one of my own, but the ones I've borrowed in the past have been just fine. :)

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

I Need a Profile Review that will Score! Posted: 11/20/2009 7:42:28 AM
Well, 48-year old women are the perfect age, but you may want to delete any restrictions entirely and just be pleasantly surprised.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Profile Help ...Bring on your suggestions Posted: 11/19/2009 10:48:54 PM
Hi there! You're such a typical Vancouver guy! Because you're looking for Long Term, there are going to be some things your viewer will be looking for, too. - stability. The easiest way to show this is to talk about your job. Is there something about it you can say you like? Are you taking any upgrading courses? - the nesting thing. You talk about karaoke and clubbing - are you thinking of a family at some point in the future? You have "yes" to the kids question. Are you open to a single mom? Get rid of the email restrictions that are not absolute dealbreakers. Obviously Not Married/No Drugs. Pretty much the rest of it is negotiable, and you don't want to limit incoming emails 'just in case' your best match is not quite what you were expecting. You could probably have some fun with your username too. Something that describes you a little more accurately will be more memorable.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Ok, let me have it. Posted: 11/19/2009 10:43:15 PM
What will you hope to be doing once you finish your degree? Biology was my best subject in high school - learned some really gross stuff, turned me off shrimp for 2 years. Tell us a bit about your aquarium. Do you have 1 piranha or some colourful fish? Do you name them? My brother-in-law had a snail that used to ride up the bubbles like a little hovercraft. Totally hilarious. Your viewer will want to read a picture, too.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Ok...go! Posted: 11/19/2009 10:22:27 PM
A smiling head shot will really help you here. You're really cute. Add Japan in your Interests field so others can find you in a search. This line has to go: When out with them they would describe me as funny, witty, open, carefree, honest, understanding, and compassionate. What do your friends say about you when you're NOT with them?? LOL! Instead, "Humour, honesty and openness are my best qualities. " Although, I really didn't find the funny in the profile. It's absolutely OK to use light humour to express your personality. (see my profile for example) You may want to rethink the "Hermit/Cave" image in the username/headline combo.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Profile review please... Posted: 11/19/2009 10:13:54 PM
There are some lines that are really not helping you here: First things first, I'm not into head games. I'm not into playing with peoples emotions at all. this makes it sound like you've got some baggage leftover. No one here of any maturity is into head games. Those that are, don't recognize themselves anyway so you're wasting your valuable profile space. I tend to put other peoples needs and wants above my own and that makes me happy. ... and someone looking to take advantage of that quality has a door wide open now. Instead, perhaps you could say simply you enjoy putting smiles on the faces of people you care about, whether it's helping a buddy move, or bringing flowers to a special lady. tickle you until you pee ... and I'd pummel you until you bled. No girl wants to know you're going to make her pee. . My oldest two are step children that I raised since babies and they consider me to be daddy. I wouldn't have it any other way. They bring so much joy to my life. Half of this sentence is too much information, and the other half is what every normal happy parent would say. Your viewer doesn't want to date your kids, just you. You already say you have kids and a smart lady will know how important they are to you. I have been trying this internet dating scene off and on for awhile now with no real success but I must keep searching. Again, too much information. Your viewer doesn't need to know this isn't your first time through. Instead you may want to expand on the qualities of the person you'd like to meet - is there anything in particular that makes you go weak in the knees? A flashing smile? Sparkling eyes? An accent? Give her some clues. Smiling main photo, well lit, preferably outside, no webcam or cellphone in the bathroom mirror shots. At least one or two full body shirt on pictures. When you send introductory messages, keep them short, light and casual. Mention something specific from her profile, make an appropriate comment and ask one question. That's it. Your profile is supposed to give her enough details and clues so she can find something in common. If you're wondering how the intro emails are coming across, feel free to use my profile as a test sample and send me a practice message for private comment. No charge.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Please review my profile Posted: 11/19/2009 10:01:21 PM
A head/shoulders smiling main will be a better invitation to your viewer to click on you. Girls are visual too. The single line profile style you have now does read like a list. Instead, expand on a couple of the ideas and get rid of the line about non-responders. Your viewer will want to know about your interests, too. magic reading drinking computers twilight driving vodka walking Fringe Magic?? Do you do magic or are you fascinated by it? Enjoy going to shows? Card tricks, illusions or big visuals? Chris Angel or David Blaine? You could offer to show your viewer a cool trick on your 3rd date. ;) Reading what? Magazines? the Newspaper? What genre? Who's your fave author? What are you reading now? Vodka! I'm there with ya, hon. Say no more. But - delete "drinking" and "driving" in the same field. Instead, "Road trips" might sound more appealing to a girl.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 33 (view)

What's wrong with my profile?????? Posted: 11/19/2009 9:42:05 PM
(gasp!) Seek!! shhhh......... ... apparently there's a profile review around here somewhere...

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

aquamarine Posted: 11/19/2009 8:50:44 PM
This is pretty well-written. There are a couple of little punctuation issues, you'll find them. My concern as your hypothetical viewer would be that at 32, your occupation is listed as "student". Are you just about done? Could you change that to Med Transcript Student? A bit more description makes it sound like a career choice instead of one of those guys that stays in school forever taking 'art' courses while living in his parents' basement. Your descriptions are really good - I got hungry reading about the spaghetti sauce. Nicely done! For the pictures - go into town, pass the camera to a stranger and pretend you're a tourist. Who's ever going to know? ;) edit: UFC Lawyer! gotcha.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

I Need a Profile Review that will Score! Posted: 11/19/2009 8:45:10 PM
Hockey talk is so hot. (oh wait.. there's no eye-rolling smiley....) You know the drill. More photos, at least one full body shirt on, no webcam or cell-phone self-portraits in the bathroom mirror. More interests that may actually be interesting to your female viewer. I got a kick out of your opening line. That kind of humour throughout will make you memorable. Expand on your activities that you've described, use your sense of humour. Describe who you'd like to meet here. At 6'4", I'm not tall enough for that ride, but you may find some ladies who are willing to break out the 6" heels and go for it. Invite them along!

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

The wind is freaking me out....... Posted: 11/19/2009 8:36:13 PM
suggest that, contingent profit commission, sounds boarder-line ethical. I imagine that this commission, is a company policy. No personal offence was intended. None taken. If the underwriters aren't profitable/break even, there's no trickle down. That's all there is to it. In December and January 2006, there were 3 major windstorms (remember Stanley Park?) that caused millions of dollars in insured damages. The sound of wind makes me cringe because I've seen the destruction a beautiful old cedar can do to a house. Thankfully none of my clients have even been injured, but it's very traumatic and disruptive. ... and guess who gets those phone calls?

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 88 (view)

H1N1 vaccine. Are you getting a shot? Posted: 11/19/2009 8:31:29 PM
Bottom line, I'll get the flu shot when it's available to me because I don't want to get dead. That's permanent.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Something's gotta be wrong, right? Posted: 11/19/2009 7:39:36 PM
Many girls will view your profile in 'stealth' mode and you won't even know they've been there. The 'read/deleted' comes after they view you. The introductory email and profile could be the Holy Grail of profiles but you do drugs. That's a dealbreaker for virtually every young lady of childbearing age here. Quit it. You're a nice-looking young guy who seems to have some semblance of intelligence. Expand on your interests and who you're looking for. Read the profile writing tips in green lettering at the top of this forum page for additional ideas.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

What's wrong with my profile?????? Posted: 11/19/2009 7:31:55 PM
So THIS is where all the cool kids are hanging out. afinger, you made me spew my iced tea. So, if the OP is still around, lying is probably the easiest way to shoot yourself in the foot here. Unless you put the correct age/year in your opening line, a woman is going to be pissed right off after reading that whole brick o' words and finding out there's a 5 year difference. To me, it's almost as bad as saying "No" to the Drugs question, but later saying you smoke weed. Lie. Click. New profile, more photos, more Interests, break up the big paragraph. Good luck.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Scaring the fish away? Posted: 11/19/2009 6:15:10 PM
I love the description. You can finish it by saying "if you are.... (description), I'll be putty in your hands." or "... that would be the cherry on top." or whatever....

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

The wind is freaking me out....... Posted: 11/18/2009 11:18:08 PM
The winds, to me, are the sound of at least a dozen $500 deductibles and an equal number of annoyed clients that they have to pay their deductibles to put their roofs back on because Wind is "an act of God, right!?" It's the sound of my contingent profit commission cheques going down the toilet as our loss ratios climb. At least we don't have to shovel it!

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Ok, lay it on me. Posted: 11/18/2009 9:35:04 PM
While you're in edit mode - which hair is your 'usual' hair? If it's the afro, consider a style change. That's just too much hair for one guy! In another thread, someone suggested that a guy go into a salon, pick out a cute chick and wait for her to be available. Then tell her she could do whatever she wanted (within reason!) If nothing else, you get a nice hairstyle and to spend some time with a cute chick running her fingers through your hair. A win-win situation.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

review my profile Posted: 11/18/2009 9:31:08 PM
Yes, check out the Profile Writing Tips in green lettering at the top of the page and have another go. But in summary: - more photos (you're really cute - put on shirt) - 'school' doesn't cut it as an occupation. What are you studying? (ie: Med Student) - at least 3 paragraphs needed in the profile body - start with who you are and what you're doing (school, studying what, to be what) - middle section to describe (in detail) interests, hobbies, activities, pets, talents, bucket list - final section short description of who you are hoping to meet here, using positive language only.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Take a look. Posted: 11/18/2009 9:26:09 PM
Yes, please, lose the 2nd picture. The facial hair looks goofy. The 'ugly chicks' line may be taken seriously by some of your viewers, but the "Axe Effect" paragraph is truly hilarious! Any way you could work it so that becomes your intro? And that probably was Majic grabbing your butt.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

Ok give it to me... Posted: 11/18/2009 9:19:19 PM
You sound pretty cool. This part: The woman I am looking for is naturally pleasant to be around and has a playful nature. I'm not saying "miss smiley face" all the time but you get the picture. You should feel love is about being on the same team and it's about the "us" and not just the I; that is what I believe at least. There needs to be a physical attraction, I don’t need gorgeous but I want cute. If you get a message from me and your pic is there, I find you at least cute ;) can be skinnied down to this and make the same impression: On the inside, the woman I am looking for is naturally pleasant to be around and has a playful nature. On the outside, there needs to be a physical attraction both ways, of course. If you get a message from me and your pic is there, I find you at least cute! This way you now have a little bit of space to talk about your drool-o-matic pet.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Please review my profile Posted: 11/18/2009 9:10:50 PM
If you're still checking in, I giggled at the description of your co-ordinated clothing because Garanimals makes all sizes now.... You may also want to drop the entire first sentence and just start in on the next sentence. I had seen another profile many months ago that also started with "I asked my friends to describe me..." and it was quite hilarious. I don't know if they were real quotes or not, but one was something like "He's a wonderful human being and if he didn't have embarassing blackmail photos of me I wouldn't be doing this." That was months ago and I still remember it - humour works that way.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Asking for a review Posted: 11/18/2009 9:04:59 PM
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts12057044.aspx#12057044 Here's the link to your original thread and my all-time favourite poem ever.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Scaring the fish away? Posted: 11/18/2009 9:01:27 PM
I didn't see the first version, but this one is taking shape. Nice adaptation. The roller coaster sentence is excellent but you added on another sentence about road trips. Break that big sentence in half and maybe mention your fave roller coaster, or mention that so far you haven't met a roller coaster you couldn't handle. It's ok to use a ! once in a while, too. I don't know your region - are there lots of lake/rivers/parks/trails? If there are, name a few specifically. If your viewer has been there, it will automatically be something you'll have in common. So far as describing who you'd like to meet, you can have fun with this. Are you hoping to meet someone who has a little extra adrenaline on tap? Someone who will either jump out of a plane with you or push you when you start to chicken out? (although from your photos it appears you've been there, done that!) How about someone who will open a map, close her eyes, point and say "Let's go there today"? ... and if she should be a tall/petite brunette/blond/redhead with glasses/freckles/an overbite, that would just be a bonus. Do you want someone who thinks of pets as part of the family? Someone who will say "socket or crescent?" when you ask for a wrench? Use your imagination and have some fun.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Profile Review Please Posted: 11/18/2009 8:39:46 PM
About the description - go with your gut. If you want someone fit, put a full body (shirt on) photo of yourself to show you're in good shape. Apparently the latest secret code phrase is 'height/weight proportionate', which basically means in healthy shape for your size. You could always say you'd like someone with a lot of energy so they could keep up with you!

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Profile review Posted: 11/18/2009 7:43:38 AM
What is it better to be an anal retentive whiner Totally lost me on this one. ???

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Profile Review Please Posted: 11/18/2009 7:40:55 AM
Hi, Gary - you have a very straight-forward writing style that I expect is exactly how you talk normally. However, short and blunt is basically how guys communicate. Women want long flowing lyrical descriptive colourful blah blah blah paragraphs. You mention you go to the gym, cycle and keep yourself in shape. Do you go to the gym every day for hours? or a few times a week? Where do you like to cycle? mostly around town, through local trails or full boar down a highway? If you take off on your bike and just peddle like a maniac, it would be difficult for a lady to enjoy that activity with you. One of your Interests is Falconry. That's pretty unique. Can you add a line or two about that? Your Interests are just words in that field, but they can become images if you write about them in your profile and those images will be what engages your viewer's mind. Is there anything else in particular you are looking for in a partner? Do you have a special weakness for tall/petite ladies? redheads? Are you open to someone with a child(ren) of her own? These little clues will also help your viewer decide if she should be brave enough to write to you first, or reply to your messages.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Profile review Posted: 11/17/2009 10:36:24 PM
You HAVE made an effort and it shows. Much better, but still you need more details. What will you be doing once you get into the forces? Will you be sent away or have a type of job that will keep you close to home? Why Germany? Does your family come from that region? Or want to go and experience Oktoberfest? In the First Date section, take out the words "I'm not picky". That sounds a) desperate and b) unflattering to the girls you actually do send messages to. Work on the photos and expanded information.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Profile review Posted: 11/17/2009 6:10:51 PM
And I am the most boring person in the world! OK, I guess I'll take your word for it. Sadly, so will all your viewers. If you don't think you're worth dating, why should they? You know what you need to do to make an effort. Do it.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

think I got a good one here Posted: 11/17/2009 12:08:19 PM
At your age, I knew it all, too. :) If this is truly your honest attempt at finding a girl that will be a good candidate for a long-term emotionally healthy relationship, I'm Mother Theresa. (shuttup, Majic) Consider you have that you're Looking For: Hangout, and have your Interests field full of mushy stuff. Do you do all that with your guy friends? I think you're very confused and full of lots of ideas but just don't know what to do with them. A female viewer won't either. Be prepared for a very long wait.

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Msg: 5 (view)

Profile review please Posted: 11/16/2009 11:15:55 PM
from the Urban Dictionary: gonch Underwear - usually tighty whities with a stretched elastic and bearing the marks of a quarter mile dragstrip which are fvckin unbleachable. Usually vyach just waits til they disintigrate to chuck em. a key and necessary element in gonch pulls. aka gawnch or gonchies You're welcome.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Open Minding Looking for criticism. Posted: 11/16/2009 11:11:01 PM
More closeups of your face, delete the list, delete the age restrictions in your email settings or increase the bottom end to at least the drinking age. Yes, 'Marijane' is still technically a drug and the girls you contact that don't do drugs are going to be pissed at the lie. Whatever you believe is fine, but don't expect girls to overlook it if they've said 'No' to the drugs question and mean it. Dope is just so high school. On the positive side, you write very well and seem to have a career goal. Good for you. Don't get arrested for something stupid and end up in a hair net asking if "I want fries with that".

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Profile Review Posted: 11/16/2009 8:16:06 PM
Insurance people rock. (ahem) Where are your Interests? Go back into profile/edit and add at least 8-10 things. The profile is well-written and draws your viewer in from the start. But, I started to glaze over during the travelogue section. Yes, they a beautiful cities, but .... And you're just adorable. More photos, bigger smile, full body shots.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Opinions Wanted Posted: 11/16/2009 7:59:10 PM
So the pictures are cute, need a big smile, a couple more interests, the profile is well-written as it should be ,Mr. Writer. However... There are rules right in the Images section which specifically state (and I know they specifically state it because I cut-and-pasted it here for ya): All images MUST contain you, with a visible head shot. Cartoons, celebrity, bare torso and joke pictures will be deleted. *** UPLOADING NUDITY WILL GET YOUR ACCOUNT DELETED!!! CLICK HERE for information about the images on your profile and why they may be working against you! Hot as you are, it's gotta go. If it weren't just because of the 'bare torso', it would be because of the inexcusable cellphone-in-a-bathroom-mirror shot. Ick. I don't want to see your bathroom, we haven't even had coffee yet. Icky Ick.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Profile review please Posted: 11/16/2009 7:46:45 PM
It's actually very well-written, as it should be from a journalist/student. The photos of the books annoyed me. Unless you're going to show me nekked men, put them away for later. Ya made me look anyway... More pictures of just you, something outdoors, something full body. Got a pet? For the occupation, perhaps R.N. Student or Student R.N. or however it should read. Leaving it just at 'student' at your age makes it sound like you're a professional student perpetually living in your parents' basement watching Simpsons reruns in your gonch eating Cheesies. I'd better be wrong!

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Any help would be appreciated Posted: 11/16/2009 7:40:41 PM
That amazing tussle of silver hair would have me clicking like a mad fool no matter what the profile said. I forgot what I was going to say....

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

New to the site - please review my profile. Posted: 11/16/2009 7:35:27 PM
Hi, new-guy! A few thoughts. If you can crack out the pearly whites for your main photo, you will appear a lot more approachable. Throw on at least 2 full body shots, shirt on, shades off, no webcam or cellphone-in-the-bathroom-mirror pictures. Ick. Add Pool in your Interests field. You may want to break up the largest paragraph into two or more smaller bite-size paragraphs. (I smiled over the dirty-joke line!) You may also want to consider either eliminating the age restrictions in your email settings entirely or raising the lower end to reflect the drinking age in your area. Not bad, really!

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Help me, Help me please Posted: 11/16/2009 7:26:54 PM
I get paid fantastic coin to sit behind a desk all day. That line would piss me off. Probably more than anything, it's the photos that give the impression you're a bit wilder than you may actually be. By the time they get past those pictures (if they do), you sound really ADHD in the profile. You've already been given some great ideas on what to look at and polish, I'm sure you'll rework it nicely.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Can someone reveiw my profile? Posted: 11/16/2009 7:20:59 PM
Hi, Dan - you sound like a very energetic guy with a lot of things planned. This is a good thing. You already know about more photos/clear smiling headshot. There is a larger paragraph in the middle that needs to be broken up. Where you list your activities, it just reads as a list. Pick a couple and expand on them. You may also want to expand on who it is you're hoping to meet here. For introductory messages, you need to pick one thing in her profile, mention it, make an appropriate comment and ask a question. Simple. More than 4-5 lines and it will be too much. Your profile should have enough detail so that when she checks you out - often in stealth mode - there will be enough clues for her to decide if you've got anything in common. If I were writing to you, for example, I'd do this: Subject line: Switzerland! Message: I've always wanted to go there, simply because of the chocolate and the beautiful mountains. Did you get a chance to try the chocolate when you were there? YGF Simple, no pressure, a casual question that gives you an easy way to reply. When you have a natural conversation, you don't bombard the person with details and questions.

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Joined: 5/1/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Profile Review Posted: 11/16/2009 6:49:43 PM
Hi, Jay - a few thoughts... Get rid of the lists. They're dry and don't really add to 'you'. For movies, just your fave and why. For the music - again, your top 3 and that's enough. If I were looking at you for Long Term, I'd want to know a bit about your job - do you enjoy it or any aspect about it, or do you plan to change careers/quit? (this goes to imply stability and responsibility) It says you want to have children, but are you open to a single mom with a child(ren) of her own? On the positive side - you have a great smile! ... and I love the paragraph with the crossword puzzles. Ink or pencil? ;)

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