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orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 7868 (view)

LAST LINE REPEATED STANZAS using 8 lines Posted: 11/8/2009 9:51:00 PM
fragrant camaraderie, me with you my heart pounds, my brow wet with perspiration I sit and think of how you smell nice too. My mind is racing looking for inspiration if only i could think for two. I wish it was Valentines day so i could say Roses are red violets are Blue I am doing it with my hand but thinking of you!

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

roses are red Posted: 10/18/2009 5:30:03 PM
Roses are Red Violets are Blue. I am doing it with my hand But thinking of you.

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

Oral...is it a dealbreaker? Posted: 8/17/2009 3:17:40 AM
Hilly your are fast tracking to legendary status. Luv you input to POF. Back to the thread. Love giving oral. -------------intimate, sexy, bonding, my best friend is Clitapatra! Receiving-----------good for a warm up, not comfortable with the slurping, i love your****comments. Still each to their own! louv yous! xx

Orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Are roadside memorials distracting for drivers? Posted: 8/13/2009 6:04:05 PM
They are a gentle reminder that people die every day on our roads. It is awake up call to slow down and take more care. I think they are very effective in doing this. I would rather be distracted by the memorials than a giant bill board telling me how to get longer lasting Sex!!:

Orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Drunken Violence Posted: 8/12/2009 10:20:20 PM
I think the main change has the introduction of binge drinking. Many venues actually have "shot glass " races. The “winner” receives more alcohol as a reward. The binge drinking culture results in people totally out of their brain and off their heads before they realise what has happened. Then its out on the street and onto the next club. If speed, ice or coke are involved as well it as just a matter of time!. Nightclubs in King Street Melbourne are truly frightening. Try going into one sober, you soon realise you are the last sane person in the room. It continues to amaze me that some moronic drunken fools think violence is a turn on For women. Stupid deluded cretins. :

Orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

Song titles..... During sex Posted: 8/12/2009 6:42:34 PM
Frankie Goes to Hollywood Relax don't do it. When you want to go to it. Relax don't do it. (When you want to come.) works every time!

Orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

If You Were PM What Would You Change Posted: 8/12/2009 6:35:01 PM
very basic but achievable! Allow voluntary euthanasia Introduce compulsory euthanasia for paedophiles Ban ridiculous movies like Fast & Furious---they encourage seed, and reckless driving and no doubt add to the road toll. Ban car ads that highlight power and speed as selling points. Harsher sentences for all criminal activities. Introduce zero tolerance in known trouble spots. Asset and income test parentswho refuse to pay child support. Smokers to pay a much higher free for Medicare and Private Health Insurance. Make it compulsory for all Call Centre operators to identify where they are calling from. Provide ongoing support. Counselling and financial assistance to all returned soldiers!

Orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Best joke you'll ever read...seriously...pass it on! Posted: 8/12/2009 5:50:26 PM
Why are camels called Ships of the desert? ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 1 Because they are full of Arab semen.

Orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 927 (view)

Post a JOKE Posted: 8/10/2009 10:20:13 PM
Was depressed last night, rang lifeline. Got a call centre in Afghanistan , told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck

Orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 924 (view)

Post a JOKE Posted: 8/10/2009 6:48:44 PM
A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf When she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return To the clubhouse for help and to complain. Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and Asked, ' Why are you back in so early? What ' s wrong? ' ' I was stung by a bee ' , she said. ' Where ' , he asked. ' Between the first and second hole ' , she replied. He nodded knowingly and said, ' Then your stance is too wide. '

Orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 247 (view)

Funny pick up lines Posted: 8/10/2009 6:28:44 PM
How about a 68? You do me and i will owe you one!

Orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Swine Flu Posted: 8/9/2009 11:53:56 PM
I had swine flu----treated it by taking some oinkment!

Orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 923 (view)

Post a JOKE Posted: 8/9/2009 7:21:35 PM
The Great Australian yarn The newspaper, "The Australian", over a period of weeks sought entries for The Great Australian Yarn. This was the winner: Two cattle drovers standing in an Outback bar. One asked, "What are ya up to, Mate?" "Ahh, I'm takin' a mob of 6,000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie." "Oh yeah......and what route are you takin'?" "Ah, prob'ly the Missus.............. after all, she stuck by me durin' the Drought...

Orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

and that's how the fight started Posted: 8/9/2009 6:29:04 PM
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY !!!" So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?" And then the fight started... .. Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?" And that's how the fight started... **************************************** When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station. And then the fight started... ************************************** After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.' And then the fight started... ************************************** My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started... ****************************************

Orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 61 (view)

Communication on POF Posted: 8/9/2009 5:27:59 PM
Hey man, Take some advise from the ORGY Maybe get rid of the 'hangout" and replace with something more less ambigiuos. Many women do not understand the term (not just blonds) so take the cautious approach and do nothing. Hangin There. The Orgy.

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Whats your preferred relationship type ? Posted: 8/8/2009 8:47:00 PM
Dual Habitation works for me! When i go to her place i get fed, f*cked and my washing and ironing done. When she comes to my place she gets sex, foxtel and even gets to pat my dog! In between we do our own thing. I can watch my sport drink my beer, burp, fart and take the dog for a walk. She can make sure my washing and ironing is done by the next time to comes down. Works like a charm!

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 103 (view)

whats your best pick up line? Posted: 8/8/2009 8:32:14 PM
I usually like my woman shaved down! Happy to make an exception in your case if required!

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 842 (view)

Joke of the day !! Posted: 8/3/2009 9:51:54 PM
Police car comes across a drunk dero hanging out the old fella and having a slash in the gutter. The copper yells out "stop that and put it away your dirty bugger or I'll arrest you". The old drunk puts away his one eyed trouser snake, zips up his fly and starts laughing. The copper says "what are you laughing about?" Drunk " I mighta put it away but i haven't stopped!" Same old dero wanders into the Confession box in the Catholic church. The priest waits for him to confess. the drunks just grunts and sighs Priest knocks on the wall! to gain the deros attention. Drunk "no use knocking on the wall mate theres no paper in this one either!"

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 94 (view)

whats your best pick up line? Posted: 8/2/2009 6:52:06 PM
How about a 'sixty-eight' You do me and I'll owe you one.

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

the best michael jackson joke Posted: 7/31/2009 8:38:06 PM
MJ was a joke and a dangerous one. Deserves all that can and will be said. Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest song? A: "Don't let your son go down on me." Michael Jackson first wanted to look like Diana Ross, then a white person, now he wants to be A ROMAN CATHOLIC PRIEST. Q: What's Michael Jackson's favorite nursery rhyme? A: Little Boy Blew. Knock, knock. Who's there? Little Boy Blue. Little Boy Blue who? Michael Jackson. Q: What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy? A: "The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!" Q: What did Michael Jackson say when a boy in a car mooned him going down the road? A: "I'll be there!" If you play thriller backwards, you can hear Michael confessing all the names of the boys he touched. That's why it is 14 minutes long. Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite gospel song? A: "And then he touched me" I just bought a new car stereo... When you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music. When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music. Some kids ran in front of my car, and I shouted "**ing kids!", and it played Michael Jackson. Q: How do we know Michael is guilty? A: Several children have fingered him. Q: How will MJ pay off his old boyfriends? A: Liquefy some assets. Q: Why doesn't Micheal have orgasms? A: The big payoff comes a couple of months later. Q: Why does Michael like children so much? A: He knows how they feel. Q: How did Michael get in trouble? A: He was feeling a little Randy. Q: How is Michael dealing with his problems? A: He's holding his own. Q: What psychological problem does Michael still suffer from? A: Anal retention. Q: How is Michael now? A: Feeling a little crotchety. Q: Why does Micheal Jackson like to lose foot races to little boys? A: He likes to come in a little behind. Q: What was the big break in the Micheal Jackson molestation case? A: A doctor did a rectal exam of one of the boys bringing charges and found ... a white glove. Q: What is the most difficult thing to get out of little boys underwear? A: Michael Jackson's makeup! Q: Why is Michael Jackson addicted to pain killers? A: To stop him from going OW! OW! OW! Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?? A: He thought it was a delivery service. Q: Where does Michael Jackson go to find a date? A: Boys 'R Us. Q: What makes Michael Jackson so unique? A: It's the little boy inside him. Q: Did you know that Michael Jackson just turned 35? A: Yeah, but he still feels like a 13 year old. Q: What do Michael and Gaylord Perry have in common? A: Both have held lots of wet balls in their hands. Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs? A: A Michael Jackson slumber party. Q: What's "black-white" and purple? A: Michael Jackson'safter a slumber party with a bunch of 6 year olds. Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at the Jackson residence? A: When the big hand touches the little hand... Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite game to play at night? A: Hide the pickle in the pajamas. Q: What child's game does Michael NOT allow to be played at his Neverland ranch? A: Got your nose! Put it back! Q: What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? A: They both like a little crack now and then. Q: Why did Michael Jackson Check into the Betty Ford clinic? A: To get over his 11 year crack habit. Q: Why does Michael really need to go to rehab? A: He's a crack addict. Q: What did Michael Jackson say when he got back to Neverland Ranch from drug rehab? A: You know, I feel like a new boy! Q: Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? A: He's tired of all the cracks. Q: What's the first problem the Michael's child will have in life? A: Figuring out which parent is his mother. Q: What happens when Michael talks about sex? A: It's all very tongue in cheek. Q: What's sex like for Michael? A: Child's Play. Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator? A: A fridge doesn't toot after you take your meat out of it! Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a microwave? A: A microwave won't brown your meat! Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper? A: One is pale and scares kids and the other is a friendly ghost. Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a ghost? A: One is completely white and has a scary face. The other is a supernatural being. Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Richard Nixon? A: One was a consummate hole, the other a consummated hole. Q: What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years? A: Michael Jackson. Q: Why does Michael Jackson arrange for private shopping? A: So his guests won't be accompanied by guardians! Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book? A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing". Q: What will they call Michael's new TV series? A: Anus and Andy. Q: Why has Michael been appearing on children's shows lately? A: He has a lot to plug. Q: Why was Michael Jackson late for the circus? A: He couldn't get the stains out of his clown suit. Q: Did you hear that Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding have decided to begin training racehorses together? A: Yeah, she's gonna do all the handicapping and he's gonna ride all the three-year-olds! Q: What do second place race horses and Michael Jackson have in common? A: They both come in a little behind. Q: What do Michael Jackson and Willie Shoemaker have in common? A: Both ride 4 year olds. Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a racing jockey? A: A jockey can mount three year olds legally. Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing? A: The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out. Q: What's the difference between Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson? A: Richard Pryor got burnt on coke, Michael Jackson got burnt on Pepsi! Q: Why's Michael cutting down on public appearances? A: He wants to spend more time with the kids. Q: Who's happy when Michael Jackson gets a boy to stay over? A: Bubbles. Q: Why did Michael Jackson cross the road? A: He saw someone blowing bubbles and thought he'd join in. Q: Heard about Michael Jackson's new songs? A: I'm forever blowing bubbles! Q: Why is Michael Jackson's album new entitled "Bad"? A: Because he couldn't spell "Pathetic". Q: Why was Michael Jackson grounded? A: He was "Bad". Q: What did Michael Jackson do when his hair caught on fire? A: He "Beat-it!" Q: Where does Michael Jackson write his songs for the kids? A: In his tanning salon. Q: How do you neuter Michael Jackson? A: Give him spiked gloves and tell him to sing a song. Q: What do any of the Mets have in common with Michael Jackson? A: They all wear one glove for no apparent reason. Q: Where is Michael Jackson's other glove? A: In Brooke Shields' pants. Q: What would you call Michael Jackson if he slept with another 20 or 30 young boys? A: Monsigneur. Q: How will they ensure that Michael gets a thorough body search? A: Hire a Catholic priest to do it. Q: What do Michael and Catholic school nuns have in common? A: Both are a pain in the ass to kids. Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a proctologist? A: A proctologist doesn't pay for the *holes he's poked around in. Q: Why did Pepsi sign up Michael Jackson for their ads? A: Because he likes the taste of a new generation. Q: Why did Pepsi fire Michael Jackson? A: Because he was caught sucking on a Squirt!! Q: Why did Michael Jackson fail to renew his contract with Pepsi? A: Because he found out that the main ingredient was Bubbles! Q: Why did Michael Jackson put cheese on his willy? A: Because kids will do anything for the taste of Dairy Lea! Q: What do Michael Jackson and broccoli have in common? A: Both are force fed to little boys. Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson marrying Lisa-Marie Presley? A: If Elvis were dead, he'd turn over in his grave. Q: What did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa Marie on television? A: "Boy, that's a relief. I though she married a black guy!" Q: What did Lisa Marie Presley say to Michael Jackson when he popped her the question? A: "Yes, I'll marry you. But promise me one thing... NO KIDS!" Q: What was Michael Jackson thinking about on his wedding night? A: Hmmm, now Lisa-Marie can give me a little boy of my own.

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 832 (view)

Joke of the day !! Posted: 7/29/2009 9:21:17 PM
Undertakers have announced that as Michael Jackson is dead. he will be melted down to make toys, so the kids can play with him for change

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 829 (view)

Joke of the day !! Posted: 7/28/2009 11:06:56 PM
Quickies What's the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne will usually not come on a kid's face until around 13 or 14 years old. Why do hunters make the best lovers? Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once and they eat what they shoot. How can you tell which is the head nurse? The one with the dirty knees. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant. A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest tits? The blonde, because she's 18. How do you tell if a chick is too fat to f*ck? When you pull her pants down and her arse is still in them. There are two times a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage. Husbands: Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her way, and the other is to let her have it. Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die. Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use in two people remembering the same thing. The Battle: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 82 (view)

ABC boss sorry for Chaser 'wrong call' Posted: 7/28/2009 10:33:45 PM
I worry that the Fun Police/wowsers/Public Servants again have won the day. The segment in question was not funny but---------------please the outcry way out of proportion.

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Ah memories! the days when men could be men and women did what they where told. Posted: 7/27/2009 9:44:58 PM
All this 60's stuff is so old fashioned . For example, I want coffee in the morning, not tea. The rest is pretty much on the mark and I think that if it were made part of todays education curriculum there would be less divorces in Australia. I blame today's education system - nowadays it's into filling those girlie heads away from the funadamentals of what their place in life really is - i.e. babies, cooking, cleaning etc. and gives girls silly ideas about careers and things. We've all gone so politically correct we've made the mistake of allowing girls to leave school and expect them to know all the real stuff about how their life should really be, (keeping their man happy), but how can they possily do that if we don't teach them how. Perhaps their education process should start a few years before school-leaving age to give the girls a better chance of (mentally) grasping the concept and maybe even provide 'boot-camp' opportunities for them to put into practice what they've learned before they leave school. Maybe we could start a new Thread on POF so men who are adequately qualified, could provide input so we could help bring the curriculum a bit more up to date. P.S I believe it was actually written by a woman. I have done some Googling research and it is believed to have come from a possible urban legend called the Good Wife's Guide.

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 824 (view)

Joke of the day !! Posted: 7/27/2009 6:22:29 PM
A lion in the London zoo was lying in the sun licking its arse when a visitor turned to the keeper and said, "That's a docile old thing isn't it?" "No way," said the keeper, "its the most ferocious beast in the zoo. Why just an hour ago it dragged a politician into the cage and completely devoured him." "Hardly seems possible" said the astonished visitor, "but why is it lying there licking its arse?" "The poor thing is trying to get the taste out of its mouth."

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Ah memories! the days when men could be men and women did what they where told. Posted: 7/27/2009 6:08:53 PM
The following is an actual extract from a sex education school textbook for girls, printed in the early 60's in the UK. Comments anyone? When retiring to the bedroom prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be led by your husband's wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfillment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had. Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 820 (view)

Joke of the day !! Posted: 7/26/2009 11:24:51 PM
Nymphomaniac Convention… A man boarded an aircraft at London Heathrow Airport 's Terminal 5 for New York , and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him. 'Hello', he blurted out, 'Business trip or vacation?' She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, 'Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States .' He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, 'What's your business role at this convention?' 'Lecturer,' she responded. 'I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.' 'Really', he smiled, 'what myths are those?' 'Well,' she explained, 'one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish.' Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. 'I'm sorry,' she said 'I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!' 'Tonto,' the man said. 'Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy.'

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 129 (view)

Whats the Issue With Men in Australia .. Posted: 7/26/2009 9:39:22 PM
All of these encounters with men have been short lived. Does this mean you put out on the first date? Aussie blokes like a challenge. (2nd date at least) The thrill of the chase. Plus the good looking man's man ---like the Orgy let the ladies do the chasing! Someone asked me once. Where are all the handsome, caring, sexy men in Australia? the answer------they all have boyfriends.

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

TIME FOR POLITICAL REFORM Posted: 7/26/2009 9:18:25 PM
Hey Suzie, At least you are an honest Muppet and I suspect I nice one too! You are entitled to your opinion, as is Chino 84 He wasn’t pushing any particular agenda----just floating an idea. Sorry you had a sh*full weekend. It happens. Org

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

TIME FOR POLITICAL REFORM Posted: 7/26/2009 6:17:23 PM
Sounds good in theory! Logistically cant see it happening. How would it be managed to ensure people where not mass voting? I can see a proactive few deciding political outcomes that affect everyone. The silent apathetic majority would just have to wear the outcomes. PS. What does piss me off is why would some muppet decided this topic should be deleted. The five other muppets who want it off are probably politicians:

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 91 (view)

whats your best pick up line? Posted: 7/26/2009 5:49:30 PM
I am not a gynaecologist but I will take a look at it!

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Communication on POF Posted: 7/24/2009 6:52:39 PM
Suzie Think you answered your own question "the Poof" was gone, profile deleted. Probably some married or gay guy having a bit of fun at your expense. Hang in there! Orgy x

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 82 (view)

whats your best pick up line? Posted: 7/23/2009 9:41:43 PM
More. This is a gun in my pocket so do as I say and you won't get hurt I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?? OH MY GOD I would walk over broken glass just to know you" You:"Excuse me but do you have a map?" Girl:"No, why?" You:"Because I keep getting lost in your beauty" I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away I wish I could give you eleven roses and a mirror, so that when you hold the roses and look in the mirror you could see a dozen of the most beautiful things in the world You must be a parking ticket cause you got FINE written all over you Grab a chair and walk up to a girl(s) sitting at a table, set it down at the table and ask:” Excuse me but is this seat taken?" Beauty is the summation of the parts, working together in such a way that nothing needed to be added, taken away, or altered, and that’s You, You’re Beautiful.... Look across the room and see a beautiful woman, call her over with your little finger when she looks around to see if it was her your calling, nod yes. When she comes over say “if i can make you come with my little finger imagine what i could do with the rest of my body". (my favourite) I wish I had my pallet & brush here so I could paint you" I have just one 1st division Lotto More desperate ones! wanna come over for a beer and a f*ck? By the way, I'm outta beer. It takes good timing for this one GET EM OFF Wanna root?

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 170 (view)

Do we women really need an orgasm? Posted: 7/23/2009 6:08:42 PM
Why do women fake orgasm? Because they think men care!

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 79 (view)

whats your best pick up line? Posted: 7/23/2009 5:24:47 PM
Did you fart? cuz you blew me away. Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special. My Love fer you is like diarrhea . I can't hold it in. Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to sign you out Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em. If you was a tree & I was a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole. You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away. Man - 'Fat Penguin!' Woman - 'WHAT?' Man - 'I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.' I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room... Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner. If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon. Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up You got a great hairdo Why do you dye your roots grey? You got any Aussie in you? Want some?

orgasminator

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

regrets??? do you have them??? Posted: 7/21/2009 9:58:55 PM
Naamah. You are very perceptive. Yep---I am back. I am surprised of the quality of the people on here. Honest, intelligent, understanding and nice----just like me So if you can’t beat them join them.

esensualman

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

regrets??? do you have them??? Posted: 7/19/2009 10:46:42 PM
Thats it I have cracked it! I was here to meet women. What did I find? Forums. Forums and more Forums. It is truly appalling the number of intelligent and gorgeous women who only use POF to indulge themselves in literary pomposity. I appreciate women love to talk but ---------Please enough is enough. So my friends I am off the real word. Longing to get back to some real people with real communication skills Not an artificial world where people hide behind a keyboard and become cyberspace heroes Or so their EGO tells them. There’s more!!!! Just a black pot cautionary word.... One of my psychiatric patients once said to me: Do you know what the definition of madness is??? The answer given was... It's When Someone Does That Same Thing Over And Over Again Even Though They Keep Getting The Same Unsuccessful Or Unwanted Result Like not realising the futility of wasting ones time on POF. I am having treatment for my MINOR (fastracking to MAJOR) anger management issues...

Esensualman

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

regrets??? do you have them??? Posted: 7/17/2009 8:26:22 PM
Oh seeker of love. . I agree it is human nature to deep down want to hide ones deficiencies (provided a person is in touch with ones self inner soul to know what they are) Blatant lying is a touch difference I would suggest. My point is If you (sic) are not honest with yourself how can you be honest with any one else? How can one find love when one is dishonest from the start? I will never be an obsequious victim.. Supercilious might be more appropriate ... but each to their own. x

Esensualman

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

regrets??? do you have them??? Posted: 7/17/2009 1:14:46 AM
My main regret is jioning Plenty of Fish Some observations on POF experiences. Female Profile compared to Reality 40-ish-----------------------49 Adventurous------------- Slept with everyone Athletic-------------------- No boobs Average-------------------- size 16-20 Beautiful------------------- Pathological liar Contagious Smile-------Does a lot of pills Emotionally secure----- On medication Feminist-------------------- Fat Free spirit-------------------Junkie Friendship first-------- SEE Former Adventurous person Fun---------------------------Annoying New Age------ Body hair in the wrong places Open-minded------------- Desperate Outgoing -------------------Loud & embarassing Passionate ----------------Sloppy drunk Professional--------------- **** (ouch) Voluptuous------------------Very Fat Large frame ----------------Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate ------- Stalker Attractive--------------------------- She must have hit every branch in the ugly tree when she fell out of it. Honest ------------------------EXCEPT for Profile Content.

Esensualman

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

No photo - whats the point? Posted: 7/16/2009 11:21:34 PM
Whats the point of putting up a fake photo or one thats years old. I believe photos should be compulsory. 1. Eliminates time wasters 2.Honesty is the only policy 3.helps determine if the lady really is a lady (yes had this experience) Ultimately if you are to meet someone they will naturally expect so see some likeness to the profile photo. Yeah i know i have a few up there. gives one insight into my many personality straits (I hope) cheers.

esensualman

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

A question for the ladies - Fisting Posted: 5/8/2009 6:45:48 PM
Oh thank you I was wondering where I lost my tuopee! Dont mind a bit of fishing myself Very relaxing

esensualman

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 844 (view)

Post a JOKE Posted: 4/15/2009 7:35:49 PM
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman, and started canvassing a well-to-do housing estate. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge ?" The blonde after looking about, said, "How about 50 quid ?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband "Does she realise that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied: "She should, she was standing on it. Do you think she’s dumb ?" "No. I guess I’m guilty of being influenced by all the "dumb blonde" jokes." Some time later the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You’re finished already?" he asked. "Yes" the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the five ten pound notes. "And by the way," the blonde added, "it’s not a Porch, it’s a Mercedes."

esensualman

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 843 (view)

Post a JOKE Posted: 4/15/2009 5:52:56 PM
24 ------Of The Worst Jokes You'll Ever Hear 1. Two blondes walk into a building.......... You'd think at least one Of them would have seen it 2. Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy Marijuana,press the hash key..." 3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts." 4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't Find any. 5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he Couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are Too high." 6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him In. 7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He Shouted,"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied "I Know you can't, I've cut your arms off". 8. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle. 9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the Craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak And heat it. 10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered With hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. 11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it." 12. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home' "That Sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. ' Is it common? ' "It's not unusual." 13. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is There anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a Look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he Checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy" 14. Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up My backside." ..."How's that?" "Don't you start." 15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom! 16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you Give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your Oyster,go for it. ' 18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 People in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my Mum or my Dad,or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I Think its Colin. 19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The Otherone says "So are you, you fat bast**d!" 20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery Acid,and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the Other one off. 21. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving Today.They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice." 22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several Places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore" 23. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a Small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and Rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number To climb as digging continues into the night... 24. question How do you get an elephant out of a Safeway Trolley? clue. Take the S (out of Safe) and the F (out of way!)

esensualman

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 70 (view)

One liners Posted: 4/15/2009 5:09:37 PM
the harlequin. Like your style!

esensualman

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

whats your best pick up line? Posted: 4/15/2009 4:18:41 PM
In my experience all the so-called naturals with women use humour 'Laughter is the ultimate aphrodisiac” Failing that there is always the old favourite Do ya root? If the answer is in the negative Then ask, “Well I guess a head job is out of the question”? Actually works sometimes. True!

esensualman

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 55 (view)

whats your best pick up line? Posted: 4/15/2009 12:22:39 AM
1) Did you fart? cuz you blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea . I can't hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to sign you out 5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em. 6) If you was a tree & I was a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole. 7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away. Man - 'Fat Penguin!' Woman - 'WHAT?' Man - 'I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.' 9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock. 10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room... 11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner. 12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon. 13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up 14) You got a great hairdo Why do you dye your roots grey? 15) You got any Aussie in you? Want some?

esensualman

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 823 (view)

Post a JOKE Posted: 4/9/2009 12:11:09 AM
met a 14 year old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty and sexy, so I suggested we meet up. She turned out to be an undercover detective. How cool is that at her age?! I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She said I had to stop w-anking. When I asked why she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!" I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger kid, with two friends? A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a d!ldo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect." To which, her son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a****like that." I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits. When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids. Took her out with one punch. My granddad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed. "It's worth spending money on good speakers," he told me. A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter. Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about 5ex at that age." "Curious about 5ex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her appendix out!" I was walking in a cemetery this morning and seen a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said "morning." He replied, "No, just having a sh!t." Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in. I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low? I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

esensualman

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 68 (view)

late night pick up lines Posted: 4/8/2009 11:58:48 PM
1) Did you fart? cuz you blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea . I can't hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to sign you out 5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em. 6) If you was a tree & I was a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole. 7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away. Man - 'Fat Penguin!' Woman - 'WHAT?' Man - 'I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.' 9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock. 10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room... 11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner. 12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon. 13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up 14) You got a great hairdo Why do you dye your roots grey? 15) You got any Aussie in you? Want some?

Esensualman

Joined: 5/14/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

Me Being Unfair or Him..... Posted: 7/21/2008 11:18:56 PM
Hi Krys. The voice of reason. Wow ---I think i may have to find a problem just to get your advise. I am impressed. I have jioned you fan club. R u a professional Counsellor?

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