What's the difference between affectionate and clingy? chat & forums.

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Thread: What's the difference between affectionate and clingy?

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 50 (view)

What's the difference between affectionate and clingy? Posted: 11/16/2009 4:30:36 PM
[quote[for some reason, I got the impression that it was a matter of degree, it seemed to me that some posters on this very thread equate affection and clinginess within a hair's breadth --- clingy = if its unwanted I'll put it this way, ever been at a bar or party, and there's a woman there that is just all over you, yet you don't think she's attractive at all. Well, you may think of her as "clingy". However, if another woman was doing the same thing, yet you found her incredibly hot, you might view it as "affection" instead. Same thing in a relationship, you're annoyed at your partner for whatever reason and they want to smother you with attention vs. wanting the attention and getting it.

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 260 (view)

Long vs short hair Posted: 11/15/2009 8:35:46 PM
baldness is a sign of weakness. Oh geez. Only thing worse than pissing off a bunch of bald guys is pissing off a bunch of short guys. If you're bald and short you may as well go take karate lessons and buy a motorcycle right now.

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

cheated Posted: 11/15/2009 10:44:28 AM
OP, I would abandon this relationship if I were you. Has nothing to do with some sex that took place while you two were split. It's just obvious that your relationship is doomed from one thing or another. Stop wasting each others time. Break up and stay broken. Don't even remain friends. I'm sure any friends that have listened to the two of you talk about your relationship woes would agree.

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Guilty until proven innocent Posted: 11/15/2009 10:29:28 AM
Wow, 19 years with someone like that? I wouldn't be able to stand 19 days of that crap. I never understand why someone would "think" that their mate is cheating on them, and not dump them immediately.

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

What's the difference between affectionate and clingy? Posted: 11/15/2009 10:26:16 AM
I've noticed a lot of people claim to be affectionate in their profiles. OK, what I don't get is, when does affectionate cross the line into clingy territory? Affection is when you want it, clingy is when you don't.

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 245 (view)

Long vs short hair Posted: 11/15/2009 10:20:18 AM
No agreeing on the internet, it's against the rules. Here's how it works: person 1: makes generalized statement, his/her way is the only right way person 2: calls person 1 a retard/nazi person 3: points out that person 1's statement was in fact only an opinion person 4: agrees with person 1 person 5: calls person 4 a retard/nazi repeat...

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 626 (view)

do guys like the smell of a woman's natural vagina? Posted: 11/13/2009 10:16:16 PM
I always make sure when I am with someone and they come home from work the let me smell her vagina, toes, and butt before they shower. It is a turn on I prefer it that way than for them to wash it first. Who wants soap in their mouth? lol Not sure who wrote this originally, but you're a freak.

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 225 (view)

Long vs short hair Posted: 11/13/2009 9:15:59 PM
Not another of these idiotic hair-length debate threads! PLEASE! It's childish and pointless to make statements like "short-haired women are this" or "long haired men are that". If you have to use your long or your short hair to feel superior to someone else, YOU have a problem. You like it long, then by all means, wear it long. You like it short, then wear it short. You like or don't like your paramour to wear it long or short - good for you. Don't try to dictate how others should wear their hair nor what their preferences should be. Wow. New to internet forums? No one's dictating what anyone has to do. Childish and pointless are what internet forums are all about. It's not like this thread is taking room from another thread trying to solve world hunger.

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 235 (view)

IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN? Posted: 11/11/2009 10:14:52 PM
I think it's disingenuous to assume that women don't "chase" men. Most women do, just not in the way that men think they should. Men think "chasing" a woman is giving her that first line, getting her phone number, asking her out to dinner etc. Women will be much more subtle and drop their little clues and most of the time guys just don't notice them. Of course it's all proportional as well. Even a woman who swears she never chases a guy probably would if she was really, really into that guy and he wouldn't look twice at her.

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

too fast, too soon! Posted: 11/11/2009 9:53:04 PM
OP, I've worked behavioral health off and on for the past 15 years and I can say that Borderline Personality Disorder is probably the most vexing mental illness one can deal with. If you decide to make a real effort at being with this woman, just prepare yourself. These issues do not go away. Ever. What you're dealing with now, you will be dealing with 5, 10, 20, 40 years from now. Even parents of BPD children can be driven batshit with this stuff, and they're blood relation. There is no changing her, and no adjusting her ways. Either accept her as she is right now, or get out ASAP.

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

starting to give up findeing love Posted: 11/11/2009 9:44:12 PM
Just curious, what do you think Che Guevara would think about being marketed for mass consumption on cheap t-shirts made in some dirt poor South American country and sold in a mall to capitalist, middle class whites? Do you think he'd find it ironically humorous?

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

on-again, off-again Posted: 11/11/2009 9:38:11 PM
I agree that you should dump him. He was dumb enough to tell you about macking on a 21yr. old so he's obviously not intelligent. I can't think of any reason to share that bit of info outside of being a masochist or craving drama.

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

Should I get divorced? Posted: 11/11/2009 12:00:29 PM
"I suggest you edit your profile, though, as you're currently listed as being single..." I'll answer for him, with the same answer everyone gives in this situation: "I'm only here for the forums."

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

Should I get divorced? Posted: 11/8/2009 7:10:39 PM
"We just may not be right for each other. " How do you get married without being 100% certain of this BEFORE the nuptials? There must have been some sort of basis for getting married in the first place, right? Was it out of love, or out of the child? My gut reaction is that you two must do everything possible to work it out and stay together. Sit her down and make a pact that the two of you will be 100% honest with each other from then on. Don't get mad if she tells you something that hurts you, or the communication will end right there. Tell her how you are feeling and vice versa listen to what she says as well. Use this as an opportunity to reconnect and try to solve these issues. Only after all efforts have failed would I consider divorce.

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 2590 (view)

what is everyones opin on tattoos? Posted: 11/8/2009 7:01:22 PM
people who get tats on their face and neck are usually a more hardcore about it and get sleeves and the works so I doubt they care what we think about it. I do think the tramp stamp thing is so overdone its a turnoff. Ironic that something meant to be a mark of individuality is so generic now.

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 2586 (view)

what is everyones opin on tattoos? Posted: 11/6/2009 11:36:54 PM
"I find this all so very confusing. I thought that we stopped judging people by their color." Are you serious? That's so naive. "I guess those of us who choose to express ourselves will just be sitting in the back of the bus then?" Right. People with tattoos (myself included) should equate ourselves with segregation. That's not an over-reaction, or disrespectful to people who actually had to suffer through it. "I got my tattoo about 12 yrs ago. Its on my lower back. I was horrified to hear what they call tattoos in that spot now. Tramp Stamps!! Why is that?" Because every 19yr. old ditz on the planet gets the exact same "tribal" tattoo in the exact same spot.

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 287 (view)

Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women? Posted: 11/6/2009 11:10:58 PM
I think stupid chicks are getting the short end of the stick in this thread. All these guys proclaiming that they will only date the most intelligent women around. Well, I will gladly go out with any not-so-smart women who may come around. I don't need to sit around and talk about politics or Noam Chomsky, or any other BS that self-proclaimed "smart" folks like to mentally masturbate over. I don't care what your IQ is, it's all about the heart.

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Big Beautiful Women Posted: 11/6/2009 10:55:31 PM
Yes, there are guys who are into fat chicks, they are usually way overweight as well. I take it that's what the Op means by "not worth the time of day". So, a little hypocritical to call out men for being shallow, and then discrediting the few guys who are interested. Guys who like BBWs (chubby chasers or whatever) are pretty rare, at least I've never met any guys who would come out and declare it. From my experience, BBWs are usually not the proud, "sassy" type the movies portray. More often than not there are major insecurities at work there, whether it's because of the weight or the cause of the weight is a whole other issue.

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Question for the ladies about profiles... Posted: 11/6/2009 10:44:25 PM
there's a forum for profile reviews, you might have better luck on there: http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingForum94.aspx However, you're pretty much experiencing the norm for all guys on PoF.

Touchdown Bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

is there something wrong with me!!!!!!!! Posted: 11/6/2009 10:39:57 PM
There's nothing wrong with being "too picky" as long as you're ok with being alone in the foreseeable future. That scares some people, and some are ok with it. Honestly, tho, 25-30 guys and zero connections? I'd say there's definitely something going on there.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 56 (view)

Why? Posted: 8/18/2009 3:24:14 AM
In this thread I attempted to make conversation with some people. Which tells me that there is nothing wrong with me, it was they who had underdeveloped social skills..... Rdtoo, I do enjoy reading your posts, and responding to them. It injects a bit of humor into the workday. But, don't confuse me feeling better about myself, with me thinking less of others. Terri, I can see why everyone in this thread is single! Attitude, looks, and no sense of humor!! haha, just kidding my gosh

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 52 (view)

Why? Posted: 8/16/2009 2:11:21 PM
Hmmm, well it tells me just the opposite. You said they acted like you shat on the floor. Were you indeed shitting on the floor at the time? Obviously, I'm just yanking your chain, but what's the common denominator in that situation you described? Everyone you talked to just happened to have "underdeveloped social skills"? Or was the problem with what you were doing? I'm just being rhetorical, it's never any one persons fault, it's always everybody else.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

Why? Posted: 8/16/2009 9:35:09 AM
Very good that you dont..and neither do i, but it does happen. If you think it doesnt, you are very naive. Oh, I'm sure it happens, but if I go into a bar and EVERYONE stares at me like I'm a freak I think aodds are that I'm probably a freak. The only time I do this is when I am actually impressed by a well thought out profile. I see kind of impressive profiles occasionally, I either e-mail the person to get to know them better, or I don't e-mail them at all because they probably couldn't care less what I think of their profile. bundy, you seem to have a c0cky attitude... ok

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

Why? Posted: 8/15/2009 5:06:41 PM
Oh, I understand what you're saying, but I think most people on the site don't need to know if someone likes their profile but has no interest. I have had a few people "compliment" my profile, my internal response was: "okkk.... thanks I guess?" Of course that's just me. It's like saying "Nice shoes." <div class="quote">If you go up to someone and try to start a friendly conversation and get stared at like you're some non-humanoid freak like what happened to RD... Right. Do you do that to someone when they're just being friendly? I don't. Don't know anyone who does. But, since some guy on the internet says it happens, then I guess I'll just have to put all faith in it. It certainly couldn't be something he did. "Sometimes I think my emails to people have been too smart for their own good." There aren't enough eye rolling emoticons for this. Everyone's a self-proclaimed genius on PoF. How about a little humility? I've been to a PoF get-together once. It was a horrible, complete, waste of time. I should have known just by the venue that it was not gonna be fun, but I thought I would give it a try. The place was PACKED with early-twenty-somethings, techno music roaring so loud you couldn't even hear anyone, and the PoF crowd was stuck in a corner. About seven PoF women dancing on the floor, and twenty PoF guys standing around with drinks who couldn't look any less uncomfortable if they tried. Never again. Not that anyone would miss me at any of those.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

Why? Posted: 8/15/2009 11:10:58 AM
I have emailed quite a few women over the years just to say kudos on an intelligent composed profile and have had my mail deleted immediately. I have tried to be friendly and talk to people at POF parties and got stares like I had just defecated on the floor or something. Those are the people that you know right off the bat are showing their true colors and you can cross them right off your list. Yes, you can cross them off because they were obviously not interested in you. I don't think anyone actually believes that "they are doing you a favor" by not responding, but if it helps you sleep better at night, go for it. If you simply write someone to say "nice profile" why wouldn't they read/delete it? What are they supposed to do? Save it forever, have it framed and mounted on their wall? E-mailing "nice profile" is the easy way out. It's like sending a "wink". If you're interested and want to know the person better, then say so.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 296 (view)

Do women cook anymore?? Posted: 8/13/2009 10:04:54 AM
Are men "MEN" anymore....??? Do you change the oil in your car....?? Are you able to fix any problem with the car anymore?? Do you fix the plumbing in the house anymore?? Are you a handyman?? Are you able to provide for the family anymore or is this a shared responsiblity now?? .....Do you treat your woman like a lady anymore?? Ummm, I'm not asking for a woman to do all the "woman" things. I can cook, and it would be nice if I could find a woman who does as well. That's it. I don't think that's asking for too much, or asking a woman to be old-fashioned. Just share the responsibilities. I suppose if I knew plumbing well and did it all the time maybe I would ask for a woman to do it as well, but I think that's a bit too much...

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

Why? Posted: 8/10/2009 5:42:20 PM
I found another beauty of an interest today: "I enjoy doing fun things" Wow. I never thought I'd meet someone with the exact same interest as me. I like doing fun things too! I wonder if she likes laughing as well? This could be a match made in heaven.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

Why? Posted: 8/10/2009 8:24:54 AM
A full body shot is almost a requirement nowadays, seeing as how people seem to have a misconception about what "a few extra pounds" really means. I recently had a date where the person was "a few extra pounds" on their profile, and about 280 lbs. yeah, I'm probably shallow, but I'm just plain not interested in someone that overweight.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 234 (view)

Do women cook anymore?? Posted: 8/8/2009 4:41:23 PM
We don't cook because we refuse to be your slave. Get off your ass and fix your own sandwich. I think your mother would really hate you right now. Besides, why do you think God made restrauants. So I don't have to cook. It's hard to believe you're still single. You seem like such a treasure.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

can someone help me with my soon to be hubby Posted: 8/7/2009 10:41:07 PM
Do you suppose...sir...that one can come to this site...looking for someone and enjoy the forums...then find someone but still remain for the enjoyment of the forums. I could buy that if these forums were somehow different than any other of the million forums out there. Which they aren't.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

can someone help me with my soon to be hubby Posted: 8/7/2009 10:24:58 PM
There are lots of folks on this site who are here for reasons other than dating, including myself. Look before you leap... I read her profile, and I call bullshit. On you as well. People are here PRETENDING they aren't looking for something, when I think they are. There's plenty of other forums out there, yet here you are on a dating website. It's not fooling anyone.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Why are some men afraid to express their feelings? Posted: 8/7/2009 9:57:21 PM
Okay, I had been seeing this guy for a long time and we had great chemistry but for some reason he was always afraid to tell me how he felt about me. It's like I always had to guess and I hate that. I knew he cared by his actions but I'm the type who needs to hear it from a guy's own mouth. Just recently he stopped talking to me and I have no idea why, so I'm confused as all H*ll because everything was going cool but then the communication just stopped. I don't get it. Why do guys do stupid stuff like that? Women will ask us to bear our souls, and share our thoughts. Then get pissed and outraged when we actually do. It's called a lose/lose situation. Some times women want to hear our opinions, but only if it clearly reflects how they think as well. If you want your guy to open up, he has to feel that you aren't going to jump down his throat when he does. I'm not saying you do this, only you know if you are. It sounds like trust issues to me.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

can someone help me with my soon to be hubby Posted: 8/7/2009 9:48:43 PM
Advice... hmmmm... how about closing your internet dating website profile? Seeing as how you're engaged and all.... Trust what others have been saying. You're not going to be any happier by getting married so young, to someone who obviously is having second thoughts. You're obviously not all that into him either, or else why are you here? And don't give me that "just here for the forums" BS, no one buys that.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 207 (view)

Do women cook anymore?? Posted: 8/7/2009 3:38:04 PM
I think we can all agree on at least one thing. Man or woman, someone who knows how to cook is certainly deemed a better catch than those who can't. Of course to some it won't matter either way, but to most it's certainly a bonus.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 154 (view)

Do women cook anymore?? Posted: 8/6/2009 8:12:26 PM
i can't cook, clean, or sew. How does that work that you can't clean? I mean, it's not like doing calculus, or astrophysics. You put some detergent on something and use a scrubbing motion. luckily i have a boyfriend who likes to cook and clean Somehow I very much doubt that he likes to do all that. Perhaps there's just no other option, as he doesn't want to live in a mound of soiled maxi-pads and dirty dishes.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 101 (view)

Do women cook anymore?? Posted: 8/6/2009 4:06:17 PM
My ex didn't even know how to turn a computer on let alone the difference between the C drive or the hard drive. ? Hmmm, that's a pretty interesting statement. Perhaps you could explain the difference to me since I'm under the impression that a "C" drive is a hard drive. It's really quite simple...the old "women belong in the kitchen" mentality brings about the problem....makes it sound like we don't belong anywhere else...yanno?...the differnce between appreciating and demanding clears that up for me personally... No one is saying that women belong in the kitchen. I'm more than willing to share the duties, yet I'm hearing a lot of "it's degrading to even expect me to know how to cook." All I'm asking for is someone who can at least add to the responsibilities of daily life, rather than get offended by the expectation of same equality they are asking for.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 432 (view)

He brought his Fanny with him... Posted: 8/6/2009 3:57:42 PM
It's pathetic when guys use the forums as a means to score brownie points with women by defending them no matter how stupid it is. I'm not aiming this at anyone in particular, but I definitely agree.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 96 (view)

Do women cook anymore?? Posted: 8/6/2009 3:50:47 PM
My brother knows how to cook and is the one doing most of the cooking in his relationship. Why? Because in my family if you can walk, you can help in the kitchen and when you help, you learn. .... I'm confused. All the women in your brother's family can't walk, so that's why he does most of the cooking? This thread wasn't really about men wanting servants, I thought it was about at least sharing the duties. Women, would you like to find a man that can do his share of the laundry? So, why is it so awful to want a woman that can cook?

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 52 (view)

Do women cook anymore?? Posted: 8/6/2009 12:29:54 PM
My last gf claims she new how to cook, I probably made dinner for us at least a dozen times, she never did once. She did occasionally wash the dishes which I definitely appreciated. Of course, I always took out the trash, all the "fixing" around the house, etc. I agree that there should be shared responsibilities, so why should I be the only one to cook? Do I want a woman who knows how to cook? Absolutely. Is that sexist? If the roles were reversed, and I expected my gf to cook, do my laundry, etc. I can assume that I would be crucified like the OP, but when a guy asks for it, it's caveman-like behavior?

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

The Love of My Life ......married with incurable cancer Posted: 8/5/2009 9:09:22 PM
He never said that, but he is the sweetest guy I ever met Yeah, he sounds like a real treasure. If it was you whom he married, and was cheating on, you might have a different take on that. My question is, if you knew that you might only have a short time left to live, would you want to spend it with someone you love even though it required a big change in your life? Or, would you go to that safe place you now call home and spend the rest of your life with a miserable witch (who just happens to be a nurse)? Undoubtedly, I would want to be with someone I love. So, either he doesn't really love you, or he's consciously choosing to be with a "witch" over you. Either way, it sounds like you know how this ends.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 398 (view)

He brought his Fanny with him... Posted: 8/4/2009 9:58:48 PM
I just imagine that the guy had an insulin pump or heart monitor, and thought it would be better to hide it in a fanny pack than clip it to his belt. Superficial? Yeah. But, that's ok. Some people wouldn't date you because of your race, I'm sure you'd be just as understanding of their preference as well.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Where is the follow thru? Posted: 8/4/2009 9:46:05 PM
I gotta agree with some others have already said. Go on the offensive, and start e-mailing guys you would like to meet. The ones that sound interesting, or funny, and give a genuine vibe. However, be prepared to put effort into it. As has been said, a boring or barebones e-mail is not going to cut it with those types.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

The no-chemistry conversation Posted: 8/4/2009 9:24:59 PM
Why do you care what a guy "go and nowhere near close ato a 10 himself" thinks about you? Let it be! If you're gonna quote someone, at least spell at a third grade level. Second, she cares because her feelings are hurt. Rejection stings everyone. My only advice is to always meet someone sooner rather than later. All the four hour chat sessions can end in a heartbeat when they meet you in person.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 199 (view)

single mom body issues Posted: 8/4/2009 6:14:31 PM
I think Buttons hit the nail on the head. BTw, switch "stretch marks" with "crooked teeth" and watch the 'inner beauty' crowd run for the hills. Or, beer bellies, baldness, short guys, etc... We like what we like, no right or wrong about it.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 195 (view)

single mom body issues Posted: 8/4/2009 10:31:30 AM
What's wrong with keeping this thread alive? Do we have to make room for all the important threads that are trying to solve world hunger? Or, maybe bump yet another "unread/delete" thread....

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 66 (view)

Women and The Mention of Their Kids Posted: 8/2/2009 2:43:14 PM
They have children, they need to raise their children, kids are great, kids are wonderful. Of course it's going to be mentioned in their profile. Nothing wrong with mentioning it. I think that putting the kids as the focus of the profile is what people are opposed to. Folks want to date the person, not their kids. Also, it goes without saying that the kids are the priority. I feel the vibe that it gives off is that the person may not have much going on in their life other than managing their rugrats, and that's kind of a turnoff. Some women want things that are unrealistic, but something like "Making me laugh" is not. I agree, it's not unrealistic. However, a lot of women put it out there more like a demand, tho. For instance, if a guy said "Make me dinner, and you'll win my heart." You could see how that might engender a little rolling of the eyes. It also seems to be a singularly female thing. I mean, guys do like to laugh as well. It also feels redundant. Does anyone NOT like to laugh? Has anyone ever put "sense of humor not wanted" on their profile? If you don't want women who list that stuff, move to another profile, it's easy and quick. That's very good advice.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Why? Posted: 7/31/2009 10:16:08 AM
But nooooooooooo, again a man is turning it into, "It is YOU the WOMAN who is the fault." You're talking about me when you say this? I'm not sure why, as if your friend was a guy I would say the same thing. Obviously we are not getting our points across in the way we want, so we'll just agree to disagree. Still, best of luck to you in your search, be it here in MI or elsewhere. I do understand your frustration, it's hard for most of us on PoF to find what we are looking for. I'm a bit of an optimist though, and believe I will one day find that special someone, so I'm not gonna throw in the towel just yet. Also, sorry to the OP for dragging his thread off-topic. One of my pet peeves in a profile is it seems like a lot of women have pics of themselves in a bar holding a drink, which is kind of a turnoff to those of us who aren't much of a drinker. Just kind of gives off a 'barfly' vibe.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Why? Posted: 7/31/2009 9:11:18 AM
Please, reconsider what I've said. I'm not laying the blame on women for my being single. In fact, I'm not complaining about it at all. Just explaining why I personally don't send out very many e-mails on PoF. I do not "expect" the woman to e-mail first, you're getting all fired up about something I never said. I did not mean to infer that it's always the woman's fault when it comes to dating troubles, either. What I'm saying is that if everyone I know is saying I have bad breath, then am I going to get all defensive and say it's always other people with the problem? Perhaps I just have bad breath (I don't, btw, lol) Maybe that's a poor example, but hopefully you understand the point I'm trying to make. If you mean that just in general people always blame the women, then I agree that's foolish. However, to take your own advice, if someone is not satisfied with the responses they get, and not willing to make the first move, then who else is to blame? Man or woman, it doesn't matter. The point I was trying to make, is it more likely that every one of the dozens (maybe hundreds?) of guys your friend has dated has been a complete loser who didn't want a second date, or could the problem just plain be with your friend? Not a even a single second date from all the multitude makes me wonder if she's got a caustic attitude, grotesque physical defect, or something.... Again, I'm not saying you should e-mail anyone at all. If you want to find a potential partner on this site, though, you may want to consider it. I understand you're seemingly upset about PoF, but please don't misquote what I've said.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 225 (view)

Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women? Posted: 7/30/2009 10:13:31 PM
As for me I have a very high powered intellect, often humbled by other high powered intellects don't get me wrong, but I am mostly concerned I will intimidate a lady. This is just where you're out with this really amazing woman who you're so very much into, and adore, and elevate, but you might say something that impresses her and she feels unworthy of that thing you said for a second, like hey I wish my maths lecturer was here to respond to that, and thinks to herself how could this guy be interested in my mind. That terrifies me a bit. No offense, but you have to be really full of yourself to think like this in the first place. I've never seen a thread with so many self-proclaimed geniuses in my life. I wouldn't worry about intimidating with intelligence, a lack of humility is a much bigger turn-off.

touchdown bundy

Joined: 5/19/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Why? Posted: 7/30/2009 10:05:54 PM
There are plenty of guys on here who are dirtbags, very true. They are looking for sex and send out maybe dozens of e-mails a day knowing that they will get maybe one date for every hundred e-mails. It's a pure numbers game for some, I'm sure. I do feel where you're coming from. I receive maybe one email a month, sometimes none at all. I rarely send out e-mails because I usually get no response, and it seems futile at times. I'm not gonna give up, though, and I hope you don't either. Plenty of guys on here have the exact same complaints. They are not getting the responses they desire. It would be easy for me to become one of those bitter, negative men you talked about. I wouldn't tell you that it's all your fault, and that it's always you doing something wrong, I don't know you. But if a lot of people are telling you that then perhaps consider what they are saying.

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