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Thread: Why do goodhearted people get rejected so much???

Joined: 8/18/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Why do goodhearted people get rejected so much??? Posted: 7/1/2006 9:54:05 AM
It is not only good hearted people that get rejected. It happens to everyone. The difference is, more sensitive people have a tendency to dwell on it. The people who you perceive to have successful relationships all have their own issues too. You are only seeing one side of the coin. Outsiders have no idea of what is going on behind closed doors. People are built differently. Some can take anything at face value and if it is not working for them, can move on to something new without too much residual damage. Don't get discouraged. Bad things happen to the best people too. Hang in there. Life is a journey filled with ups and downs. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. There is something to be gained from every situation that befalls us.

Joined: 8/18/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

How do I get over her? Posted: 6/21/2006 10:42:41 PM
Do as the stars do, start dating again. Even if you don't meet "the one," you may meet some really interesting new friends. You say she was your angel, your everything. What you don't want to believe is that you were not those things to her. For if you were, she would find a way to be with you despite her controlling mom. Stress is resistance to reality. Once you can accept reality, you have no more stress. Your reality? She doesn't want you. You don't have to understand it. You don't have to like it. You just have to accept it. Kinda like faith in religion. As young as you are, I hope you don't think that there is only one soul mate for you on this planet of 6 billion people?!?!? If so, then you believe in scarcity which is wrong wrong wrong. I can go into so much more but I am too lazy to type it all out. You have yet to undertand the concept of form versus essence. If you want to know more, reply to this post and I will go into a tangent another night. It's really very basic and may help you immensely. How do I know this stuff you ask? I've been through Hell and back and I'm still smiling. Learned it all in counselling and am willing to share. You think a couple of years together means the world? Try couples who have been together longer than you've been alive and have kids. Put it in perspective and you will begin to think outside the box. P.S Your story is really waaaayyyyy too long and there are irrelevant bits in it.

Joined: 8/18/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone? Posted: 6/20/2006 8:55:52 PM
Dear Sweetguy6, Many of the replies posted all have valid points. No doubt about it, it will all depend on the girl you hook up with. From the female perspective, a fellow your age living at home is pushing the envelope before becoming a total dependent and no one wants that. There is a lot to be said about making it on your own steam. At 26, most people will have graduated from college already and entering the career world. I don't think its necessarily your reasons for staying home that is in question. You can validate your reasons all you want but for every day, week, year you stay home, it emphasizes a lack of ambition on your part. Sometimes we have to do things in life we don't want to - like work at jobs that aren't our dream jobs. It sounds like you are waiting for the ideal job to come to you. In the meantime, because you have the safety net of your parents, your hand is not forced. Your date is not going to want to come over and be around your parents all the time. Privacy at your age is very important. Do you turn and say to your date, "sorry, you can't sleep over tonight, my parents don't allow overnight guests." If you want to host a romantic dinner, do you ask your parents to go to the movies that night and don't come home till midnight? Do you need to ask their permission to entertain? If you said "yes" or "sometimes" to these scenarios, there's your answer. If you are dating an independent girl, she has the right to expect no less from her partner. And I will likely get booed for what I am about to say next, but here goes....women also enjoy knowing that should they choose to start a family with a man, that he can provide for his family (even if its just for a brief period) I am not saying that we need a man to "take care" of us but its the comfort and security of knowing that he CAN when/if the need arises. Take my comments with a grain of salt or take them to heart if you wish. Boy, it's time to take flight and leave the nest to develop into a man. The school of hard knocks will help shape your character. Stop leaning on mummy and daddy and stand on your own two feet. When you do leave, you will grow interpersonally and appreciate the experience. Good luck to you.

Joined: 8/18/2005

Msg: 320 (view)

Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?... Posted: 6/19/2006 9:30:47 PM
Dear ShaunaDanielle, He's not doing anything to you that you don't allow him to. It sounds like he enjoyed the thrill of the hunt but once he caught his prize, he released it. If he is still signing online, I suspect he's found new fish to bait. Don't you remember the rush you felt chatting up someone new and getting to know them? It is hard to believe that he really loved you in such a short period of time. Fact is, you two do not know each other at all. Studies have shown that the "honeymoon phase" and being "drunk in love" can last up to a year or more. Then reality hits and the shine has worn off the new toy. Please don't think that I am trivializing your situation for I am not. I can sympathize with what you are going through but in this day and age, everything including relationships are disposable. Out with the old and in with the new. I would not waste too much time on any relationship of this nature (friend or romantic) Fairweather friends come in all shapes and sizes. You just have to know your self worth and know that you deserve better. It's hard not to want to blame yourself. But you can only be you and if that's not good enough for him, then he's not the one. I have a motto that I live by and I'd like to pass it on to you. It's so simple yet so powerful. It can be the difference of absolute happiness in all facets of your life. "To live a better life, make better decisions." Adopt the philosophy and you'll be surprised how things can seem to come to you. Bottom line girlfriend, scrape the shit off your shoes and move on. There's better fish out there. Chin up and good luck to you.

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