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 Author Thread: abuse of authority
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 260 (view)
 
abuse of authority
Posted: 8/9/2008 1:27:25 PM
"and again i ask the question............" should cops be recorded on duty"

I think they should. Protects them, and civilians, or at least will help determine accountabilitiies when things go wrong. Simply relying on personal accounts of these situations is not enough.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 257 (view)
 
abuse of authority
Posted: 8/9/2008 11:44:17 AM
Until we can come up with a policing system void of any human involvment, this is what we are going to deal with.

Fresh faced young man becomes a police officer. He is not a racist, he has no preconcieved notions of any race.

Years later, after seeing crime after crime...beligerance a plenty, and a general disregard for establishment by a same group of people (why this is happening is a whole nother issue)...guess what? He is going to form a preconceived notion of behaviour based on that race. It is human nature. You have to remember...this same officer is not likey being exposed to better examples of behavior within same race (of course there are) ....nothing to counterbalance what he see's during shift.

This happens in every society where more than 1 culture co exist.

We need to look at the root cause...not the end result. The end result is predictable...too easy.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Grey Hound bus killing
Posted: 8/8/2008 10:13:31 AM
These groups just show up at events that they think will have media coverage to get attention for thier 'cause'. The event is not relavent, nor do they care what the impact is to any mourner at the event. It is all about shameless publicity.

Same as the NRA showing up at the funeral for those kids shot in that school down south...all for publicity, with no regard or compassion for anyone who has suffered.

The events dont even have to be linked to thier cause at all...and in this case, it is not.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 83 (view)
 
Grey Hound bus killing
Posted: 8/7/2008 11:07:33 AM
This incident to me...is another reminder that life is prescious, and sometimes too short. Live for today...tomorrow is not promised.

Your life can be altered in the blink of an eye. Cherish what you have today.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 115 (view)
 
Why have so many women never had an orgasm?
Posted: 8/6/2008 2:36:30 PM
In my experience, and that of many of my friends..we are raised to think women who enjoy sex are 'dirty'...'sluts'.

Even here in the forums, people post that women who show cleavage in thier pics 'are asking' for trashy emails..It is ingrained into our society, that a woman who appears to be sexual is not a 'wife' material.

Something seems to happen to women as they progress thru thier thirties though...and it is wonderful. Suddenly they no longer care what people think, and they can enjoy being women... it's a great age to be at!
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 67 (view)
 
The Gym
Posted: 8/5/2008 12:46:08 PM
I wear headphones, and dont like to talk while working out. This is a great stress reliever, and I dont like to be interrupted.

If someone were to approach me at the gym, Id prefer it be on our "well timed" way out the door. You will appreciate that too...as I would be smelling much, much better AFTER I have hit the showers! lololol
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Why do women change their last name when they get married?
Posted: 8/5/2008 12:25:37 PM
I dont know why women keep thier husband's last name after they divorce. I couldnt wait to have my old name back afterwards...just wanted to be me again, in every way!
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 103 (view)
 
On being called M'am.
Posted: 8/5/2008 10:21:33 AM
Anytime a younger person shows good manners or respect, I always smile and say Thank You. It is far and few these days!

The first few times I was called ma'am, I kept looking over my shoulder for my mother, because it surely could not have been directed at me? Alas, it was me.

It means I have arrived, I am considered an adult woman by all who survey...lololol
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Who's really responsible for birth control in a monogamous relationship?
Posted: 8/5/2008 7:59:12 AM
I would say whomever is against having a baby should be super duper responsible.

I get a tad miffed when I hear 'she trapped me'...uuhhmmm no...you trapped yourself by not taking the precautions available to you to prevent it from happening.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 69 (view)
 
Grey Hound bus killing
Posted: 8/5/2008 6:35:20 AM
You have to try and put yourself in those passengers shoes.

By the time anyone knew what was happening, that knife had already done its damage. The boy was stabbed and dead by the time anyone knew what was happening. (according to reports, there was no struggle prior, therfor no one would have known)

Imagine the amount of blood that had to be..well, it would have been worse than any horror movie, that's for sure.

I really dislike when people who are not witness to a horrible crime play armchair quarterback and try to discuss what they may have done. The fact is, you have no clue how you would have reacted. I know if I was travelling on that bus with anyone I cared about, Id grab that loved one and head for cover, to keep them safe. Instinct would just kick in and you would do/take whatever action was required in order to survive. The fact that only one person was killed speaks volumes to me, and tells me everyone did exactly the right thing...they are alive!

Imagine turning around and seeing the look on that madmans face as he acted. He must have looked pretty scary! He must have been covered in blood! Id run too! Specially if I was unarmed...what the hell am I going to do against a mad man with a knife, who I had already seen with my own two eyes murder someone? Id run!
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
real curious as to what the hang up on weed is with some peeps
Posted: 8/5/2008 6:06:08 AM
Personally....I dont care of people smoke weed or not...

But-everyone is entitled to thier preferences, and if you smoke, and it is part of your life, you really do have to respect the folks who want no part of it.

Why would you want to meet anyone who is against it anyways? Sounds like a good way to create un-needed drama to me.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Whose fault is it anyways?
Posted: 8/4/2008 8:00:58 AM
I dont know how one would go about assigning a percentage of fault when a relationship is over...at the end of the day, the couple failed....as a couple.

I think all we can do when we get out of a relationship that failed is to look at what you yourself could have done differently, and make peace with the choices you did make that brought you to where you are.

At the end of the day, the only one in a relationship you can control is yourself...worrying about who is more to blame seems like a waste of time to me.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 148 (view)
 
How has dating become what it has????
Posted: 8/2/2008 5:20:15 AM
OP-I find if you screen really well...spend some time talking before a meet is set up...you will meet the type of men you seek. The good ones will invest the time required to get to know you a bit before a meet...and all these questions you have should be addressed before the meet anyways.

The first meet should be as cheap as possible, in my opinion...A coffee or a walk in a public setting. No pressure and no expectations. It should just be to guage comfort level/chemistry with one another.

Online dating is just not the same as traditional dating...BUT...once you have moved into real life time together, if you have picked someone compatible to you, it will shift into that gear rather nicely...it's all in who you select...so be patient, get to know them a bit and be honest about what you want too. It can all come together nicely.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 90 (view)
 
Do you trust your pet's judgement on your dates?
Posted: 8/2/2008 4:56:56 AM
I read somewhere that Adolph Hitler had a cat...Im sure that cat loved old Adolph...do you think that cat was a good judge of character?

I can see if your pet literally wigs out repeatedly around someone...maybe there is something up with that...but to actually defer to your pet's 'judgement'...not me.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
How inconsiderate!
Posted: 8/1/2008 12:42:39 PM
Saving a few bucks at the cost of your own dignity?

Sounds like a bad deal to me.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 28 (view)
 
What if there isn't the one
Posted: 8/1/2008 12:39:31 PM
People will come into your life, some will remain part of your life, and some will not. The key is to enjoy what they bring to the table while they are still at the table.

I dont think there is only one person, or soul mate for everyone, I think there are many...and they will all serve different purposes.

If someone enters your life, and hurts you, it is a lesson.

If someone enters your life and did not love you the way you loved them, be thankful you have the ability to love in the first place...some ...sadly do not.

Dont ever limit yourself by thinking there is only 'one' out there for you!
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
No liars or head games please!
Posted: 8/1/2008 12:02:46 PM
I liken these phrases to the people who accuse others of cheating...then you find out they are cheaters....If someone demands that no one approach them with baggage and head games, odds are they are the ones with the most baggage and play the most games! LOLOL

Just in my findings..certainly no expert here. LOL
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Metrosexual. Sexy or just weird?
Posted: 8/1/2008 3:10:45 AM
Seeing a man who takes care of his 'problem areas' is fine...If the unibrow bothers him and he plucks...no issue...but I dont wanna date a man who requires more time than me to get ready...there is just something not right about that! LOL
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Perms: Back in style?
Posted: 8/1/2008 3:08:45 AM
I have naturally curly hair, (ringlettes) and straighten it alot...but I am seeing curls back everywhere I go, and my hairdresser tells me she is getting regular bookings for perms again...after about a 10 year break...so...perms are back!

I will never understand it...my friends with straight hair LOVE my hair...and I wish I had thiers...us women are never happy with what we get...LOLOLOL
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 195 (view)
 
I told my son (9) I pay his child support
Posted: 7/28/2008 1:06:04 PM
As long as this was done in a loving manner, why should any child NOT know thier non custodial parent contributes financially?

I would object to the ncp telling the child "ask your Mom for a new Wii, I send her XXX amount of dollars per month"...That would just cause trouble...but to gently explain that the ncp parent pays to ensure they are looked after is not a big deal.

I would think (as a child of divorce myself) that it would make the child feel even more loved and looked after...knowing no matter what happens, both Mom and Dad are looking out for him/her? Even if Mom/Dad cant live together...they are working together for thier children.

If the conversation happened as naturally as the OP describes, no big deal.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 503 (view)
 
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/26/2008 6:42:47 AM
I doubt anyone would complain about recieving a 'Hi how r u' from a profile that turns them on....
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 29 (view)
 
If you see Separated...
Posted: 7/25/2008 10:27:08 AM
At the end of the day, we all have our own preferances, and they should all be respected.

I have chatted with many men whos status is Seperated. I just found out that they were really too soon into the process for my liking...maybe some other lady would not have minded? That's really an individuals call to make.

The status here means different things to different people. If someone was never married, but was in a pretty serious relationship for many years, technically, they are single. (if they did not live common law or married) Yet, listing as single, and having just ended such a serious relationship...he/she may be even less ready than someone who has been 'seperated' for almost a year.

It's all relavent to the two people communicating with one another.

I dont assume anything, our outlaw anyone based on this status. I will talk...I just have found in my experience with those men...that they were too fresh from that last relationship for ME and MY liking...and when we are seeking good company, it is all about what we are comfortable with. If I have to be 'talked into' something...chances are it isnt a good thing. LOL
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
How do you know you are ready?
Posted: 7/25/2008 10:15:05 AM
When I first joined POF over a year ago...I did not feel ready for a relationship...but I did feel ready to get out and meet new people. I was advertising for hang out, and explained my social situation in my profile. (all freinds being married, made it difficult to get them out)

I met an awesome guy, and we dated for a few months. It did not work out, we were not long term compatible...BUT...what this relationship did for me, can only be described as 'awakened my heart'.

It had been a very long time since I had felt such emotions...and feeling them once more was a beautiful thing. It made me realize I was 'ready'.

Until I met him, I thought Id be alone forever, and had made peace with that. Now I know when the circumstances are all just right, and I am feeling safe and secure...I have the ability to open my heart to love.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
If you see Separated...
Posted: 7/24/2008 12:31:39 PM
I dont make any assumptions about the status "seperated".

Since I am looking for long term however, I would rather begin that journey with someone who has already laid thier past to rest...both in thier heart, in thier minds, and legally. I would want them to already have developed new routines with thier children (if applicable) and have a good handle on dealing with thier ex. I feel you cannot have all that in place while you are still sorting out who gets Granny's silverware. LOL

I can only look back on my seperation and divorce, and know I would not have been a good partner to someone new, while I was still sorting thru all that stuff.

If I were looking to only casually date, hang out, or new friends, it would not bother me in the least if someone were still going thru a seperation or divorce.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
What do women want?
Posted: 7/24/2008 3:43:05 AM
I want a man who is sure of what he wants, and knows how to go about getting it (ethically). I can respect that.

I want a man who has finished with his past, therfor not seperated. Divorced. (dont care what your circumstances are, I feel that until you are divorced, you are not available-my opinion)

I want a man who can talk and share ideas, thoughts and feelings.

I want a man, who although will consider me his equal, will be 'da man' when it counts, and allow me to be the woman where it counts...you know, cherish the things that make us different, but necessary to one another.

Personally...I dont care if a mans profile doesnt have a display pic...but I see no reason in this day and age not to have private photo stored here that you can send to initiate contact.

I like to see who Im talking with. I like to know Im not talking with someone Ive already said No Thank You to, or a coworker playing a silly joke, or an ex...you get the picture. LOL Yes...the pic could be fake...which is why I do have a preference for profiles with multiple pics of the same person in different clothes/settings. I also prefer to have see him on webcam prior to a meet. To confirm we are both who we say we are physically.

These are just my opinions....mean nothing to anyone other than me.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 43 (view)
 
The occupation question. How do I play it down?
Posted: 7/24/2008 3:17:03 AM
^^

Some people have a work ethic regardless of income.

OP-Personally, as long as you are supporting yourself, I would not care what you did/do for a living. List yoursef as a consultant and explain further once some trust has been established.

I can tell you, I have met a few men who did very well in prior careers, and are sitting on a nice bankroll...and have moved on to new challnges....what bothers me, is a small percentage of them still talk about that last job as though it defines them somehow. That is a turn off to me.

Live in the NOW.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 76 (view)
 
Ladies, how would you LIKE us to handle this?
Posted: 7/20/2008 5:56:07 AM
Anytime a person confides a traumatic event in thier lives, all they need is to be heard, not judged and most of all, believed.

I am not impressed with the anaolgy that if 1 in 3 women have been raped, then 1 in 3 men must be potential rapists.

A predator will attack multiple times over his/her life. This skews the numbers. I do not believe the avgerage man will commit this crime....it is committed by a small percentage of offenders...but thier crimes reach multiple victims and surviviors.

Just because you dont know personally someone who had had this happen, does not diminish the fact that it does happen. I have never wanted to be a pedophile, nor do I think I know one...but that doesnt mean they dont exist.

The very nature of this crime prohibits women from speaking. It feels degrading and embarrassing. If I were in a group setting and picked up on this type of attitude, I would clam up and you would never know it happened to me..therfor you would keep thinking you dont know anyone who has had it happen. You likely do know someone who has had this experience, but you either are not close enough to them for them to open up to you about it, or you gave the impression at one time that you dont believe it can happen, and they decided to keep this to themselves. It is a decision survivors make dozens of time per day...who to let in...and who to not let in.

If a survivor lets you in, it is a huge leap of faith for them to take, and it means a lot. Sort of soul bearing.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 87 (view)
 
How many dates before you decide Yea/Nay??
Posted: 7/19/2008 6:19:25 AM
Within one date/meet I will know if I DONT want to see them again.

It takes a few dates after that to know if I will try for more.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 31 (view)
 
What would you be looking at the person you date first time?
Posted: 7/19/2008 5:23:41 AM
The eyes. There is either something pulling me in, or there is not.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 78 (view)
 
how long should I wait?
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:32:18 AM
She's hooped...if she had screwed you by the third date you'd be posting 'is she too easy' questions.

I find it refreshing to see a post about a person who wants to wait until she knows if she is in love with you, and vice versa.

I say Kudos to her, for taking the time she needs before feeling ready instead of jumping in with her eyes closed.

As for her saying she wants to call the shots...I think what she was saying is she not going to be pressured into anything, and again, good for her. It is her body, she does call the shots. As do you with yours.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 69 (view)
 
In an intimate relationship and he is still looking
Posted: 7/17/2008 3:50:51 AM
I really like all the advice about telling your partner what you expect in these situations...

But-that only works if you are dating/being intimate with someone who is ethical in the 1st place.

I dated a man who was fearful of being cheated on...said every woman he's been with had cheated. He was really firm that monogamy and being exclusive were extremely important to him. I agreed. As soon as we moved to 'that level', I closed down my accounts and never looked back. It never occurred to me to rejoin under a new name and spy on him, because he was so 'into being exclusive'.

We broke up for other reasons-and after we broke up I found him on lavalife...and his date last changed against that profile was AFTER we became a couple, and definatly before we had broken up. In fact, that date he last updated that profile was the same day he posted a beautiful love note on the wall of my facebook.

I was crushed to see that!

I trusted him...and was asked twice to close my accounts. The first time he asked, I told him I had not yet, but was close to being ready...the second time he asked, I had actually closed them down earlier that day and was going to tell him that same night that he asked about it.

There are just some people who will act a certain way to get what they want, and sometimes you dont see it coming, because you are a trusting person by nature.

In the case the OP posted about-Id come right out and ask what his intentions are with thier relationship. Ask why he is still looking. If you dont like the answer, stop sleeping with him.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 6:55:52 AM
Every man I have dated...I thought was extremely attractive...none of my freinds would agree with me though. LOLOL

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

You can post a pic, and get a zillion different descriptions of that pic, we all see things in our own way.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Would you cheat,knowing what you know now...
Posted: 7/15/2008 3:48:46 AM
No way

I am who I am...and no matter how badly things are going, it does not cross my mind to cheat...even if I find out afterwards that he did something bad while we were together.

You have to let go of the vindictiveness of these thoughts, or else her bad behaviour will change you as a person, and that should not happen. If you have a strong sense of who you are, it should not matter what 'happens' to you...others actions should never define you as a person.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 61 (view)
 
agree
Posted: 7/15/2008 3:39:44 AM
If someone admits they handled a relationship badly one time, and cheated...Id probably appreciate thier honesty and give him a chance.

If every ex is hunting him down because he cheated. ..no way.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Is non drinking a hold back
Posted: 7/14/2008 5:17:31 AM
If someone prefers not to drink, it doesnt bother me in the least. I am not a big drinker, cant hold my booze like I used to. I get too tipsey, too quick, so prefer not to over indulge.

It never even crosses my mind to have a drink actually, unless I am around someone who is having one.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
How to spot a
Posted: 7/14/2008 2:39:13 AM
For me, the best advice here is go slowly, and do a lot of talking. That in itself will weed out the ones who are looking for a fast you-know-what.

Other than that, do follow your gut. It will tell you when something is not right.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
 
What is the biggest thing missing about being in Love
Posted: 7/13/2008 6:29:27 PM
That goofy compulsion to smile even at the mere thought of him.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 113 (view)
 
When did the title of B***h become a badge of honor?
Posted: 7/13/2008 5:12:16 PM
The only times in my life I have been called that name was when I would not give in and sell myself short.

I do not consider being called any name a badge of honor...but if someone is going to call me that just because they didnt get thier way, I cant be bothered at all.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Is it still polite to...
Posted: 7/13/2008 5:05:56 PM
I think the gesture is very sweet.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 122 (view)
 
Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 7/13/2008 1:44:42 PM
I have only actually have met a handful of people from dating sites over the last two years.

Alot of little things simply must be in place, to make me feel compelled to meet.

Attraction, intelligent /interesting emails, discovering a few common interests, and sharing the same long term goals for a relationship...and I am probably going to want to meet. Believe it or not, it is really hard to find these things online,in one single person... at least it is for me. I get asked frequently to meet up...but if one of those things is missing, I really cannot be bothered.

There is no set timeline for it to happen. Sometimes I have chatted for weeks with someone before it happens, while others I have only chatted with a bit, but talked on the phone...

If there is 'no pull'..making me really want to meet that person, then I dont think it's fait to either party, and I move on.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/13/2008 1:31:54 PM
Where I live the courts see visitation/access and child care payments as two complete seperate issues.

Just because one parent cannot pay, does not mean they are denied access to thier children.

The only time any parent can deny access with the courts consent is if they prove that the parent is somehow unfit.

Personally, I would not want to be around anyone who denies thier children the other parent, unless I knew it was truy in that child's best interest to do so.

If any parent is being told they cannot see thier child, there are avenues they can take to have that corrected. It is an aweful, drawn out process, and I dont wish it on anyone...but sometimes you need to go as far as you can for your child...at least to show that child that you did try. It WILL matter later on.

People who place thier children in the middle of money fights make me a bit sick to my stomache. People who walk away from thier responsibilities, and do not pay what the court orders also make me a bit sick. Maybe they should all date one another.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 37 (view)
 
What to do When He Comes Back?
Posted: 7/13/2008 6:33:27 AM
Give him the local office numbers for any social services he requires, wish him well, and tell him to go fix his problems, like an adult.

I would not have anything to do with him unless he can set up a home and steady work on his own.

Its hard when you care about someone to do this, but in the long run, we do no favors by rescuing people. They need to rescue themselves.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 89 (view)
 
Do abusers repeat there patterns
Posted: 7/12/2008 5:51:10 AM
Most humans repeat thier past patterns, or they would not be patterns in the first place. The pattern can be anything, such as poor communication, all the way down to hitting others to control them.

We all repeat patterns of behavior.

Thats why getting to know someone before making changes to your life is so important-until you do know someone really well, you dont know thier patterns.

Dating is so much fun! LOL
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Why Do Some Women Do This?
Posted: 7/12/2008 5:43:32 AM
If you use her car primarily, except to get to and from work, then you should help out without being asked with the costs associated to the extra wear and tear....or stop using her car altogether.

The fact that this is bugging you enough to post here about it tells me there are other issues. You are not feeling appreciated, or she is feeling used...otherwise she would not have spoken up about it.

I dont expect a man I am dating to do anything like this for me. However, if he was using my car alot, I would expect him to help cover some costs. Not all, but some, as a gesture of goodwill. If he did not offer, and I had to actually ask, I would be a bit put off. As a fellow car owner yourself, you know there are costs involved with owning/using a car. Under the circumstances written in your posts, I would stop allowing you to use my car period.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 71 (view)
 
Why do most women act like money isn't an issue?
Posted: 7/10/2008 6:44:17 AM
How much money he has is not an issue at all for me. How he handles what he's got may be an issue if we are talking about forming a partnership down the road. To me this is just common sense-many relationships break up over handling of money.

As some have stated, it is more about stability than anything else.

I am a stable person, and I enjoy being around others in the same boat. I have enough to worry about keeping my little boat afloat...am not interested in constantly having to bail out someone else.

I like people who can hold down a job. I like people who dont use welfare, and get out there and shovel dirt if that if what it takes to feed thier children and not drain society. I like people who know the value of hard work. I dont care how much they get paid to do the work, as long as they do the work, and come home in a good mood afterwards. Not all resentful and bitter about thier job.

In the early days of a relationship, many women probably dont worry about money. But as things progress, and life plans begin to be discussed, the topic of money and how you each handle money should be important. If it is not, you will likely have troubles down the road.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 148 (view)
 
What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/10/2008 5:46:06 AM
Today everyone is worried about what they are going to get out of anything they do.

We have become more self aware and more selfish in this generation...in some ways it is a good thing IE-people can leave damaging/toxic marriages/relationships with ease, whereas years ago they would have been stuck in that situation for life..but I feel we have crossed too far to the other side of this pendulum.

I often wonder if I will ever meet someone who feels the way I do about accepting people for who they really are.

Love-to see an imperfect person perfectly. That is what I want.

I am not saying all men are like this...but I have only been actually trying to date for about a year and a half...and I have only met men so far who will not do anything for/with anyone unless it benefits them in some way. I am not used to this way of thinking, and sometimes I feel like a relic from another era! LOL

I find I do get taken advantage of, because when someone expresses a need, and I care for them, I naturally do what needs to be done...without thinking about it! Funny thing is, I dont get that back from those same people. Yeah, I know, cut them out of my life right? But then I meet someone else, and I go thru the same cycle once more. I dont know if I have some "I am a loser and a sucker" stamped to my forhead....

I have decided though-I am not changing who I am to 'fit in'. I am a caring woman by nature. I can only hope that one day I will meet someone who takes care the same way I do. That will be a match made in heaven! LOL
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Alarm bells???
Posted: 7/10/2008 5:26:31 AM
Most people do have seperate email adresses depending on what the function is for that account.

I would not have been put off by that at all...but, if you do get 'that funny feeling'...listen to it. I have doubted my instincts in the past, and have regretted it everytime.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 126 (view)
 
To show skin or not to show skin
Posted: 7/10/2008 3:38:20 AM
If you normally dress with lots of cleavage showing, or what ever...then represent that here...then there are no surprises.

I like pics that actually represent who I will be meeting in person. Mine are just that...I enjoy wearing girly-girl clothes...and do so everyday...so what you see is what you're going to get.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Friends or Lovers?
Posted: 7/9/2008 11:33:15 AM
Follow your instincts...they are there for a reason...if anything, let her know your instincts are telling you something is up. If she cares about you, you will know by how she reacts to that. If she doesnt care about you, she will not care one bit that you are having these doubts, and you will have your answer either way.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Second time around-how does it make you feel?
Posted: 7/9/2008 6:12:16 AM
I would, and have entertained the notion of a second 'online' chance, if the fellow was honest about why we could not meet the first time...while that was happening.

I am still in contact with a man who happened to meet his current love interest a week before we were set to meet. Crap happens. He wrote me right away, and told me that he thinks he met someone really special, and wants to persue it. I said go for it, that does not happen very often.

If things dont work out with them, and we are both still single at the same time down the road, I would meet him for sure. He has been honest, we had bad timing...no biggie.

If the man just disappears, then reappears...no way. I got seriously burned by one of those. Never again.
 
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