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 Author Thread: Rejected after the first date?
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Rejected after the first date?
Posted: 3/14/2008 7:04:53 PM
What is a physical attraction spark? Just touching someone on their arm during the conversation?

Eh, screw it. I'm wasting my time.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Rejected after the first date?
Posted: 3/14/2008 6:14:24 PM
Why is the physical chemistry so important to women on the first date? How do you know if you are just chatting over drinks?

Perhaps I'm not totally versed in the Rules of Dating but it just seems to me that the object of the first date is to meet the other person, not to play judge and jury based on looks and physical chemistry.

Or maybe I've been dumped so many times (or alternatively: ignored) that I'm starting to see things through jaded lenses.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 5:49:29 PM
I'm not father material and I'm not willing to be a surrogate father for someone else's child. You may be the sweetest woman in the world and everything might click but this is the one deal breaker I'm certain about.

Sorry.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Rejected after the first date?
Posted: 3/14/2008 5:47:15 PM
In the last three years I have been meeting women, every first date ended nicely. But two days later I'd get the call or e-mail saying "You are a great guy but I didn't feel the spark. Good luck."
Forgive me for saying so but there is absolutely no way you can feel a spark with someone on the first date unless you have a buildup of static electricity. Like striking a match to get it to light, it might take a few dates before the spark can be found.
You don't know anything about the other person after one date. There is still a lot to learn before you can determine whether they are good enough to continue.

It's ridiculous. I had to vent. And now that is done and I'll be departing POF in a week.

Thank you.
 readytogo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How to avoid being set up
Posted: 12/18/2007 6:09:35 PM
Being one who's been set up more often than he cares to admit, I simply play it down. I explain my views about being set up to them and hope it goes away.

I've been lucky so far. But I'm still dateless...hmmm....
 readytogo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 450 (view)
 
Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/18/2007 6:00:34 PM
I just turned 32. I've never been married. I've been dating since high school. How pathetic.
 readytogo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 120 (view)
 
Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 12/18/2007 5:52:18 PM
I would never hold it against her. I won't sleep with a woman unless she wants it. Say what you will, but I'd rather have a clean conscious about it than have the knowledge of possibly being a rapist.
 ReadytoGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 98 (view)
 
Ultimate Guy Question
Posted: 9/30/2007 5:34:59 PM
Considering I've had sex only once in my life (and she went off and married someone else), I can safely say that I'm not embarrassed at all, my pride was not damaged. But apparently my ability to attract women was decimated.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 30 (view)
 
What do you think about people who see therapists?
Posted: 9/26/2007 6:39:12 PM
I think I have to start thinking about seeing a therapist. Apparently I'm getting nowhere in life and I'm sure as hell getting nowhere on POF (or Great Expectations, or eHarmony or with any damned female in the state of Minnesota).
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Which way do you fall first Emotionally or Physically?
Posted: 9/26/2007 6:33:31 PM
Emotional attraction, pure and simple.

But it doesn't matter. My ass is still dumped after the first date.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 33 (view)
 
He's Fan-freaking tastic! Why can't i get over that he's a Charmer?
Posted: 9/26/2007 6:31:45 PM
Uh, no, I'm not going to keep these comments to myself.

Listen, sweetie, you have to be careful with the charmers. 90% just want to get into your pants and that's it. They'll break your heart like a rock through a window.

Be grateful of the time you were with him, but get out as soon as possible.

Looks aren't everything (see my picture? I'm far from a looker), any guy can come across as a gentleman and be funny. It's the ones that are overly charming that you have to watch out for.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Kissing Faux Pauxs
Posted: 9/26/2007 6:22:22 PM
The only time I've even kissed a woman was on the stage when she was playing my love interest in the show.
Fortunately she was a good kisser but it was totally meaningless. But everytime the stage lights went out (we never had our eyes completely closed), she'd toss me the tongue.

So I'm still trying to ensnare Femalus Minnesotus so I can kiss her, have sex with her, and experience a real relationship.

Until then...
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 20 (view)
 
What do early thirties men really want?
Posted: 9/16/2007 7:46:03 PM
My ideal range is +/- 7 years from my age. But does age really matter?

Does anyone know what they really want? No, no one does. Neither men nor women do. Sure, there are so many profiles that state specifically what they want. It's what they think they'd be happy with.

In reality, they will never be able to find that kind of person and they would never truly be happy with that specific kind of person if they could find them.

So, stop being so damned picky and at least do one date with these people. You never ever know who you'll be compatible with.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 68 (view)
 
How many people can admit they have trust issues?
Posted: 9/16/2007 7:26:11 PM
I'm not afraid. I want to meet other people.

They are afraid of me. I'm just too damned nice. But I'm not going to change that, so get over it.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 97 (view)
 
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 9/13/2007 6:40:34 PM
Since I've meandered into the 30's, I just don't feel like playing the game anymore. I am (or was) the sweet, caring, attentive guy. But I discovered it's the same B.S., same circular logic (I've gotten dizzy too often), same bait and switch...I can see it even when it's not aimed at me.

I've had my heart ripped needlessly out my chest far too often. Oh, yes, I'm the guy you'd take home to mom. But that doesn't happen because it never gets that far.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
jelousey in a relationship
Posted: 9/10/2007 5:40:20 PM
Jealously in a relationship? No place for it.

Next question.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 597 (view)
 
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/10/2007 5:39:16 PM
Look, the only thing I don't care for is a weak, clingy woman.

If she's strong in mind, will or any other way, more power to her. I won't reject her on those grounds.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What do early thirties men really want?
Posted: 9/9/2007 10:39:01 AM

Are alot of men looking for women outside of their age range? Hmmm... what is an appropriate age range... if there is one?


I think it has more to do with compatibility moreso than age. Personally, I get along very well with so many people I forget they are either 10 year younger or 17 years older than I. As long as they aren't approaching an age within the range of my parents, life is good.

But then, there are those immature horn dogs just looking for an older experienced woman. If it were legal to shoot those morons, we'd have a dedicated hunting season each year to thin those herds.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 123 (view)
 
So.... Do you still dress up for Halloween?
Posted: 9/7/2007 8:35:40 PM
No, I don't do the Halloween thing anymore. I'm usually in rehearsal around Halloween and if I wait a few weeks, I'll have the costume my character wears then it's six weeks of artificial Halloween.

But then, that can backfire too. One character I had to play shows up in drag (full makeup, the works). I still have that outfit (top, skirt, shoes, everything), minus the wig. Hey I'm not proud but I'll admit it.
So if I ever need a last minute halloween costume, I can suck up my pride and do the drag thing.

That photo exists on my Facebook and MySpace profiles.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 370 (view)
 
For the Men Over 30
Posted: 9/6/2007 7:58:04 PM
From my perspective:

I don't think I'm too picky and I'm completely interested in getting into a relationship. It's the women around here that prevent that from happening. But as the years go on, there is an element of being choosy, mainly about whether to date a woman with children.

I don't do that. I have no intention on becoming an Insta-Father (add water and stir). I'm sure the girl is the nicest, sweetest woman I'd ever meet, but I'm not father material and never will be. I like kids as long as I can give them back at the end of the hour.

True, I have never lived with a female. I have no shame. But I don't live with roommates of any kind and I don't intend to start until I'm married (shyeah, like THAT'LL happen!)

All in all, I think it's just a preferred lifestyle. There is nothing to be wary about.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 93 (view)
 
DO MEN TAKE BREAK-UPS THE HARDEST?????????
Posted: 9/6/2007 7:49:40 PM
Damn straight we do! We (most of us) put in the time, effort, and energy to impress you. And when you women drop us like a bad habit, the effort and time was wasted.

It must be nice to have that kind of control, isn't it?
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Acceptance of single life - Right or wrong
Posted: 9/3/2007 5:05:04 PM
I have accepted my status as "Single". For it shall be and has been my destiny.
 ReadytoGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 783 (view)
 
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/3/2007 9:23:21 AM

Is it about being picky or is it about not making do?
Would you make do with some fat minger or someone with brain the size of an atom?
Its about finding someone you REALLY wanna be with and they wanna be with you.

Not having someone who makes do with you!

Id be upset if I was with someone who was making do with me.....
But I suppose men dont think of it like that.


Oh, please! Come back to this reality for just a moment.

Yes, all men go through the world trying to find the one woman to "make do" with. We're all desperate, willing to "make do" with the first skirt that comes through the door.

Stop being so shallow.

No one wants to "make do" with anyone else, but how do you know that he isn't the one you really want to be with? He apparently had the confidence to approach you and you are ready to drop him after one conversation because his profile doesn't say anything about being as avid a traveller as you are?
But why do you drop him? He's not a traveller? His hairline is retreating? His nose isn't proportional? He doesn't have the genes to give you unnaturally gorgeous children? Or is he a hairy 'fat minger'?

Women are far more shallow than I thought. That's too bad.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 771 (view)
 
Mail order brides
Posted: 9/3/2007 8:20:00 AM
It's about as good as it would get for me. I'm sure a Russian woman wouldn't be as picky as American women. Where would I apply?
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 47 (view)
 
In your daily life do you strive to be kinder than you need to be.
Posted: 9/3/2007 8:18:24 AM
I've tried to be nice. But there are only so many times one can be rejected before one's kindness transforms into cynicism.

Mission accomplished.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 333 (view)
 
Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 9/3/2007 7:57:59 AM
Suppose? Why suppose? It's guaranteed with the way Minnesota women are so damned picky.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 77 (view)
 
Can a fat guy find love?
Posted: 9/3/2007 7:56:00 AM
Oh, please! Will you listen to yourselves?

Poor self-worth, creating your own destiny, blah, blah, blah. There is nothing anyone can do to expedite the dating process. It just happens!

I've been dating for 15 years and each time I'm tossed out like yesterday's newspaper. But some day some woman in a drunken and drugged state will find me attractive. She'll come to her senses and stick around.

Until I run into that woman, I'll just keep going along my way. That's all I can do.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Love/Fear
Posted: 9/3/2007 7:33:01 AM
I'd rather be loved. But if you saw the responses I get in the dating realm, I'm feared.

Women run like I have two heads, three eyes, four antennae, and speak in clicks and gurgles.
 ReadyToGo75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Doing it Again . . . READ THIS EVEN IF IT IS LONG
Posted: 9/3/2007 7:29:14 AM

It really is all about letting go of fear and simply trusting that you are enough to meet the challenge.


I agree. I'm up to the challenge, otherwise I wouldn't be e-mailing women on this site. The sad thing is they are the ones not up to the challenge and take the easy way out with no response or "Not interested".
If course, I'm only looking for women here in Minnesota, a state known for women who are as cold as the winters around here. They are they only things that don't thaw out in the summertime.
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 1170 (view)
 
older women younger men
Posted: 8/24/2007 6:00:50 PM
As long as she is no more than 10 years older, I have no problem with it.

Probably the best that could happen to me.
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 56 (view)
 
catch 22 for guys over 30
Posted: 8/24/2007 5:59:35 PM
I've never been married, I have no kids (unless my sperm was frozen without my knowledge), and answer to no one...and yet the women flee like scared gazelles.

So I don't have a clue what you are talking about.
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 94 (view)
 
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 8/19/2007 8:56:47 PM
I'm extremely frustrated. I attempt to contact women, show my interest. I'm quickly dismissed because:
1) I'm not well travelled. Well, I'm sorry. I've had no real interest to go to Cancun or Germany.
2) I don't make enough money. Well, I'm actually doing very well, thank you.
3) I live in an apartment. It's good for you that you own a house. I don't want to right now.
4) I'm not attractive. I don't match her 'image' of the 'perfect' guy (which, ladies, that man does not exist except in your mind. Get over it).

I've gotten to the point where I'm far more cynical, critical, and grumpy than I've ever been before. I have to accept the fact that I'm undatable...UNDATABLE!
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
is it all to late after the big one
Posted: 8/17/2007 8:45:26 PM
Normal guys, in women's eyes, aren't interesting. We don't turn them on. So they go clubbin' to find the "interesting" bad boys. One thing leads to another and she soon becomes a single mother, putting her in an entirely new category that I don't recognize (sorry, girls, I don't intend to become an InstaFather to your child. Move on down the line.)

I've personally gotten to the point where I give up trying to hit on, woo, or otherwise attempt to attract a woman. Because I'm a "normal" guy, they have their radars set to filter those signals (read: they don't know I exist). So if that little hottie won't talk to you, she's either to far into herself, to far into the more-muscle-than-brain across the room, or just has no idea what she's missing.

So, I'm planning on continuing to wander this mudball we call Earth, the third rock from the sun, and when there is a woman who finds me interesting, I hope she comes up and tells me so. I don't pick up on those signals, so I have to be told.


After you have a had a big love in youre life, do you feel that others wont look at you anymore and pick it up that you have had a bad one?{/quote]
How are they going to know? Unless you wonder around with an Eeyore look on your face, they'll never know you just got out of a weird relationship.
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 66 (view)
 
almost 31 and STILL a virgin
Posted: 8/17/2007 8:35:47 PM
I got one up on you.

I'm zeroing in on 32 and still...plbbt, a clean virgin.

And I don't care!!!!
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 127 (view)
 
The Challenge is on...Men's opinions are needed!
Posted: 8/17/2007 8:24:40 PM
Here are my answers...

1. Yes.
2. No.
3. Absolutely.

There ya go! Not much of a challenge.
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Why do people run from potential partners?
Posted: 8/17/2007 8:23:12 PM
To put it simply: He apparently got what he was after and sorry, but it wasn't your charming personality.

He was a wolf in sheep's clothing. He charmed you, wined and dined you, and got you where he wanted you only to disappear.

Guys do that. Well, not all us guys do that, just the ones that lack a brain and must think with another organ.
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Assexual relationships?...why not?
Posted: 8/17/2007 5:09:10 PM
Something wrong with friendship?

I've discovered that dating has become increasingly overrated. Marriage too (but that could be because I DJ the damn things too often).

I'd rather have friends than mess something up in a sexual relationship.
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Encounters Casual?
Posted: 8/17/2007 5:03:53 PM
I've done that so many times: go out on a casual date over coffee or food.

Four days later, I'm tossed back in the dating pool.

Ergo, I'm seriously considering the alternative: jumping the bones of the next few women I meet.

Think I'm joking?
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 42 (view)
 
DATING EXOTIC DANCERS!!!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 8:02:09 PM
That might be the only way I'll get a date these days.
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 104 (view)
 
Do less than perfect people deserve to be alone?
Posted: 8/14/2007 6:53:13 PM

God made each and every one of us to be less than perfect. That's why we need each other.

Maybe I've spent too much time observing human behavior, but if God made us all less than perfect, he ought to strike down those who think they are holier than thou.

That would eliminate 1/4 of the population anyway. Most of them politicians.
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 579 (view)
 
so, why are you still single?
Posted: 8/14/2007 6:24:50 PM
Because I've been deemed "less than perfect" by the females of Minnesota. That's why I'm still single.
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Marriage-An Extinct Vocation
Posted: 8/14/2007 6:20:59 PM
I don't think so. My mobile DJ business is booming this year. People are getting married all over the place.

I don't understand why someone in this day and age would want to spend the rest of their lives with someone...you'd think after shacking up with them for the previous year, one would get the idea.

Unless the sex is just too good.
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 37 (view)
 
How can I respect you if you don't respect yourself!!!!
Posted: 8/14/2007 6:14:59 PM
It's unfortunate. I respect myself. Not many others do, sadly.
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Do less than perfect people deserve to be alone?
Posted: 8/14/2007 6:14:17 PM
I've gotten this far being less than perfect. Might was well continue along the known path.
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 102 (view)
 
Can you be fall in love with a man you're not physically attracted to - do looks and chemistry matte
Posted: 8/14/2007 6:12:52 PM
Dating in the workplace? I could never do that. No matter how big the company is, there are a good deal of problems that can erupt.
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 160 (view)
 
Would you date someone knowing they had at some point in there life been a prostitute?
Posted: 8/14/2007 6:03:04 PM
Yes. I'm having no luck elsewhere.
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 100 (view)
 
Can you be fall in love with a man you're not physically attracted to
Posted: 8/14/2007 6:00:26 PM
Physical attractiveness and chemistry have nothing in common. One's physical apperance is just a wrapper. It's the combination of personality, interests, soul, and intelligence that makes true chemistry.

You can by the same cereal in the attractive box or the not-so-attract bag. Often times, the cereal in the bag tastes better than the boxed version.

Don't be so hung up on what someone looks like. You'd be surprised how much chemistry you have with the not-so-muscular, bespectacled, intelligent guy over the muscle-brained yutz.
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 147 (view)
 
For The Guys- Would you seriously date an ex-prostitute?
Posted: 8/14/2007 5:55:50 PM
At this point, if she's the best I can attract, then so be it!
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 89 (view)
 
is being single so bad?
Posted: 8/14/2007 5:54:31 PM
I'm starting to realize that being single isn't so bad. It allows me to do whatever I wish, whenever I wish. I answer to no one but me.

Since I can't attract a woman to save my soul, I might as well get comfortable with it.
 ReadyToRock75
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 76 (view)
 
Blissful SEX... Have you experienced it?
Posted: 8/14/2007 5:49:38 PM
Haven't had blissful sex. I kinda need a partner of the female variety to do that. Once they come around and realize I'm just as good as any other guy, then we'll see.
 
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