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sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

is she ever coming back? Posted: 11/13/2009 10:00:52 PM
What we fear we create.. it is too bad that your heart is broken . but by hanging on . instead of moving on . your letting this pain stay fresh ....deep down inside you already know the answer..and your looking for any little hope. that someone might offer ....the thing is because the relationship before that ended ,,and it hurt you so bad. your not wanting to feel that way again. ..maybe its her way of getting even because you ended it before who knows.. but her actions are not one of someone who is in love . who is missing you. she took advantage of your offer to pay for the trip to spain . with no one elses feelings in mind but her own .. i think she likes the fact now that it is you.. who is grawling over her.. you need to move on and let go..and be thankful it ended ..your never gonna heal until you let situation go that still leave you in pain..rejection is lifes way of letting you know there is someone else out there for you . you have to love yourself to know you deserve better and never settle for less . if you continue to hang onto the pain and the hurt . you will continue to live with it . therefore never being able to move on and never being happy..

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Why do people with no photo get moody when I dont want to chat?? Posted: 10/22/2009 8:40:18 PM
The fact that they get mad is the problem. if people can't respect ..how you feel then its on them.. certainly not on you. if they expained to you. yes i have a picture i will send to your email is one thing. but to get mad. sure sign that your probably better off not talking to them.

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Need advice! Posted: 8/2/2009 7:15:33 PM
She is being immature and only trying to rub salt in the wound...she is disrespectful to say the least ..she has moved on .. but doesn't want you too.. If you run into them thats one thing.. but for her to bring him to your place when picking or dropping off the daughter is another... and no doubt it would still hurt whether your getting a divorce or not ...like one op said.. put all your attention on talking about your daughter.. she no doubt still wants to have a hold on you.. only find someone when your ready.. for you to find someone only to see how it affect her. is not fear to yourself or the other person you would involve.. in time you will meet someone else and this will become less painful

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

My girl left me after 1 1/2 years because she wasnt ready for a relationship.. Posted: 7/18/2009 6:32:49 AM
Thats the sign of truly loving someone. wanting them to be happy..and wishing them well.. what goes around comes around . and your day will come in finding someone for you...

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Should I? Posted: 7/1/2009 8:20:39 PM
Well its a hard call to make...if he is a terrible person. then he should not be in her life.. its one thing to argue .. that a father has rights... but if he is not a good dad or a good person... what favor are you doing the child.... sounds like he is only interested .. to get even with you... i would take the lawyers advice and not let him see her.. if the judge desides then you will have to abide by his rules... like one o.p said request vistation with supervision....

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Broken Heart and The Getting Over It Part Posted: 7/1/2009 3:10:07 PM
Sometimes because of money issues .. people will let themself get in a rut...and stay there... Your right it makes no sense at all.. for someone to say.. i love him. and i will never find another guy like him.. but i don't want to be with them..talking out of both sides of her mouth.. the best thing you can do for yourself is move out and move on ...could be the fact that you live there. that she feels .. she can do whatever she wants because your not going anywhere...

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Too much to ask.... Posted: 6/28/2009 11:02:22 AM
Sounds like he is missing more of what you did for him....see the first time you bought into his bull****...he figured it gave him permission to keep doing it...he doesn't take responsibilties for his actions.. and he feels if you don't make him responsible.. he can continue doing it....its nice that the girl was upfront with you about things.. but you really did not need her to be... you already knew what he was doing...you need to move on... because you deserve better...but in order to move on...you need to let the girl know you no longer want to her when he contacts her.. and you no longer want to see the messages....even though your not with him... you are still giving him the power to hurt you...

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Too much to ask.... Posted: 6/28/2009 7:51:48 AM
Studio guy ---No they have trouble keeping them.. because they let them away with too much in the first place... and they continue to do it...i am sure her expression treat them like a king was merely a metaphor.. just like my response to her was....and anyone who didn't want to sit there and tear it apart.. would get that it meant .. it is alright to treat someone good...but make sure there treating you good....and it should be about her and what she is not getting from the relationship... especially if she is giving and not getting.....and leave it to a man to analyze why woman having trouble keeping them.. the fairytale syndrome is one little girls dream of.. and after growing up.. they soon learn to seperate fact from fiction....

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

12 yrs down the drain Posted: 6/27/2009 11:09:38 PM
You can love being with someone and love their friendship but to be in love means to feel it in your bones that you couldn't live without this person in your life. You want to be a family with them. And you'd die if they left. That's the difference... him not being in love with you excuses in his mind that it is fine to cheat...

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Too much to ask.... Posted: 6/27/2009 10:44:38 PM
Its great to be a good person.. but before you start treating men like a king.,. make sure they treat you like a queen ...its not your fault..he is the one who chose to disrespect you . even after you felt he was worth giving another try...unfortunately you giving him another chance..only insured him in his mind that he could continue..he certainly liked the idea of you being good to him..but in no way returned it... I am sure he knows your a good girlfriend.. and a good person..but he is neither. so hopefully you you start to feel like a good person and not just say the words.. and never settle for less than you deserve ..you can't change what already happened . but you can change now.. what you willing to except if you want to be adored...you can't always stopped what someone else is gonna do..only that when and if it happens again.. that you have the stength and love for yourself to walk away.

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Friend's Son Won Out Posted: 6/23/2009 4:47:36 PM
If he was interested .. he would still be keeping in touch...he manipulated you into believing there could be something more.. then bailed.. it sometimes is easy to get lost in the idea of someone .. but the reality is..... he has answered all your question by his behavior and the fact he no longer keeps in touch.. some people are into mind games and age makes no exception...did he really get blood test who knows. but he was able to manipulate you into getting them.. you need to move on and be glad he is not keeping in touch...when we are looking for someone to care.. we are usually blind sided by those who don't...

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Live and Learn I guess.. Posted: 6/21/2009 8:48:59 PM
Your right.,. it is hard not to become cynic.. i really believe and i certainly won't categorize all.. that most people know what they want.. how ironic that they wait until.. there dating for a while.. got the person interested...then all of a sudden there confused ... not ready..Then there saying i can't believe i met someone like you...It is mean that people just don't tell someone right off how they really feel.. if anything she said was geniune. then one week later she would not already be in a relationship.. . your not a sucker.. just someone who was being sincere and trusted another was being as well...hard not to feel burnt..the positive is that someone out there in time .... will be sincere and appreciate you for who you are ....its nice to have a list of what to look out for ... but the bigger the list. the harder it will be ..and someone you might feel fits the list ..and never given a chance ..if you had gotten to know them .. it may be that they never fitted the list at all....there are no guarntees that someone is not gonna hurt you...the only thing is knowing that your gonna be all right .. if they do

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

He broke his own heart. Posted: 6/21/2009 8:20:13 PM
Its tough when you realize you still have feelings for an ex.. even tougher once this person has moved on...The fact that it ended on bad terms and he was mean to her.. may not work to his advantage..On one hand he should leave her alone.. maybe she is happy now and has moved on ...he really has no right to try and interfer with her new relationship.. especially since he is the one that ended it...there is now two peoples feelings to consider..well 3 if you count his..It is sad that he is now hurting .. and came to realize how much he does care...but he should date and try to move on.. maybe someday she will be single and he will get the chance to set things right....but he doesn't have the right to inter or cause problems in her new relationship ...he owes her that much.. since he chose to end it ..

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

I just think Why even bother again?.. Posted: 6/20/2009 9:08:34 PM
I think after a while.. a person often thinks there is no one out there for them..as like a lot of people who have been hurt.. feeling like they will never love again...Some won't . because they make up there mind and live it out... you might think that right now.. but the reality is.. that there might be someone out there.. that changes your mind someday..

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

My Lover is shinning me on cause of his cancer Posted: 6/20/2009 2:00:01 PM
People go through stages. once they find out there dying..Denial.. anger .Bargaining... depression and acceptance..He probably feels that he is sparing you .. by wanting to be alone...Just stay focused on what he needs.. and the rest will hopefully fall into place..once he accepts it.. he may realize he does not want to be alone..and he may decide he really needs you...Remember right now.. both of you are suffering...we all know we must die someday .. but i imagine it is such a devasting feeling knowing your gonna die...

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Why do guys ignore us then miss us the same day??? Posted: 6/18/2009 6:40:11 PM
He bailed on you.. when things got bad.. you certainly deserved better than his insensitivity....sounds like he is more interested in what others think .. he is telling you.that people are telling him . he is stupid for breaking up with you.. never came up with that conclusion on his own ....maybe he feels guilty when he looks at you... or your a reminder of how much of an ass he is....whatever reason you need to let it be his problem... past behavior . usually predicts future behavior. alot of people are in relationships alot longer. before they see the true person come out.. not any less painful no doubt..but hopefully seeing his true character .. will give you the strength you need to move on ....

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

SAD Posted: 6/14/2009 7:15:45 PM
If you believe it.. you can achieve it.. good for you.. for recognizing that your a good person.. who deserves better...and your right..everything we go through in life is a learning tool. which helps us to be stronger and wiser the next time around .. god bless you.. and with the help of god may your life be filled with good and wonderful things...

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

SAD Posted: 6/14/2009 9:15:11 AM
Happy Birthday... It is sad that your so sad.. but you need to concentrate on the good things in your life ...I find when we look at everything that went wrong we put ourselves in a state that is sometimes hard to come out of ..maybe you need to take a break from these dating sites...a break from men.. and find things to do that you enjoy.. learn to love you. and spending time with you..realize that people have other things to do.. other people in there lives. and if they don't have or make the time for you.. then you need to walk away for your own insanity....people can't make us happy.. it has to come from within.. and once we are happy. then it makes a difference on what we are willing to except ..how we feel about ourselves sometimes makes a difference about the type of people we attract...Church may be the place to find someone nice... but it is definitely not a good thing to assume that every man who goes to church is a good man .....if you end up in a relationship where someone does not want to spend the time or make the time to spend time.. definitely a red flag to get out ...

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Anyone ever date a someone jeckll and hyde? Posted: 6/14/2009 12:21:16 AM
Thats where the old saying comes in .. you don't know someone ..until you live with them...went through a similiar situation.... got rid of him .. and he said the same thing .. i abandoned him....they victimize.. then play the victim.. smart move getting rid of him

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Is he cheating or not. Posted: 6/13/2009 11:13:12 AM
That must have been the best answer he could have come up with on such short notice......he is not sending nude pics ... because the ones with clothes on.. got lost.. he is sending them with the intention of cheating.. he is already emotional cheating .. because the nude pics are being used as bait...he may as well have a sign in front of him that says look at me.. come and get it ...

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Looking to the past for future relationships? Posted: 6/13/2009 7:11:52 AM
You just need to enjoy each others company.... enjoy the friendship.. if it ends up being more ... then it would not be the first time.. that people had been friends in the past. reconnected years later and fell in love.. it happens all the time....maybe in the past.. both of your lives were going in different directions.....and now the direction is towards each other...an if it ends up being a good friendship then nothing is lost...

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Prenant & Seeking Male for Long Term Relationship Posted: 6/13/2009 6:57:21 AM
Not a very nice label to put on these innocent children ... not like they have a say.. what there momma does ... on the other hand . people with children are looking to find men all the time... but i would have to agree .. being pregnant and looking for someone is a bit off kilter...they need to look after themself first.. have the baby.. make sure the father is taken for child support.. and helping to bring them up.. depending on what type of man of course .. then going on with there life hoping they meet that special someone who accepts them and their children ....and yes there are alot of other things they should be concentrating on instead of trying to find a new daddy for their baby

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

How do I go on after a devastating breakup? Posted: 6/12/2009 6:50:40 PM
Its hard to feel like your world has been shattered...then trying to figure out what went wrong .. how someone could be talking marriage one day.. then not being together the next..so she either felt what she said she felt. or told you what she thought you wanted to hear.. and the fact that she ended it .. proves her actions certainly don't back up her worlds...i don't think that its the fact that anything went wrong .. i think what she lacks is sincerity and honesty..and then she let herself off the hook.. by telling you we don't need to be together...maybe you's were close at a time when she needed someone ....but if you's were really that close. then she would have shown more respect in ending the relationship by being upfront about why she decide she just wanted friendship..How do you go on ? you go on because you have to .. and you deserve too.. you let go of her.. you grief.. and you move on .. because there is someone else out there for you... just now you don't feel there is ....hanging on and hoping for more.. is only gonna cause you more grief.. people can say all the nice things in the world.. but if they don't live up to them .. then that is exactly all it is ... is words...

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

how do you stop mising some one that never existed? Posted: 6/12/2009 6:14:42 PM
Its very easy to think and even feel.. you miss the last person you have been with especially if you haven't moved on ...and when your away from someone.. its easy to want to think of the good things ...and what could have been ... sometimes it is easy to hang on to the pain as oppose to moving on.. its the unknown that is even scarier letting go and starting over.. the thing is to believe that you deserve to be treated better.. and never settle for less...you need to focus more on the bad things she said and did .. and use them as stepping stones on what your not willing to except in another relationship...rejection is lives way of letting us know there is someone else or there for us....

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

What would be the most important advice for someone in love? Posted: 6/11/2009 8:02:54 PM
To take time to make that person feel everyday that there the most important person in your life.. letting them know you care about them by making it a point to show you love them..even doing the smallest things . leaving them a note.. making there favorite meal. just things to make them feel loved and special. and hopefully in return they do the same things ..

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

dumped, yet still friends! Posted: 6/11/2009 7:54:52 PM
It sounds like you's are good friends.. she doesn't want to hurt you. and you don't want to leave in the end you's will both be hurt.... and your right when you do leave and come back it won't be the same.. it is not the same now.. it went from dating to friendship.. the friendship works now because neither one has moved on .. and when one does. it will not end as well.......its hard to remain friends especially when one wants more.. and now it seems good because you still get to be around that person and see them all the time.. waiting and hoping for more...you need to let go for both you and her...maybe you being away from her..she will miss you and realize she wants more.. if not then you made the best decision for both of you....

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Help!!! Posted: 6/10/2009 4:46:16 AM
I would say . she is the one that lost out..everything happens for a reason...and your lucky not to have someone in your life . that has no morals...it is hard not to be affected sometimes by what people say..but people who say mean things to you are really not worth your time or energy..never let how someone else feels about you.. validate how you feel about yourself....

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Feeling bad and good about being rejected Posted: 6/9/2009 8:15:47 PM
Not everyone is for everyone.. and when you personalize it. you make it that much harder on yourself.. rejection unfortunately is one of those things in life that we go through . one time or another..it doesn't mean that something is wrong with you..just the way life goes.. rejection is lives way of letting us know there is someone else out there better suited for you..

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

What would you do? advice and opinions plz Posted: 6/9/2009 8:08:26 PM
You should move on .. its sad that people wait until someone is interested in then decide ..they don't want a commitment.. all the changes you made are good.. but make the changes for you... not someone else...she knows what she wants.. and is using the past to keep you at a distance..maybe if you move on.. she will realize she does want to be with you...if not then you made the right decision ... putting ones life on hold is never good.. especially when there are not guarntees...

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Someone tell me what is wrong with me!? Posted: 6/6/2009 10:09:17 PM
I don't think you should stop searching.. but maybe stop searching for awhile..the fact that you have 5 kids is all the more reason for you to be careful when looking for a mate...6 men in your life since breaking up 6 months ago.. is alot of men ... I think your desperate to find the right one... therefore you making alot of bad choices...Some people don't like being alone.. and your not alone . you have 5 wonderful children .. no that doesn't mean you should not have someone in your life. it means you need to be careful when choosing them.. you need to take the time for you. and learn to be alone for a while.. take time to heal . and reflect on the type of guys your choosing .. maybe the need to have one so badly in your life is stopping you from looking at the men you are choosing ... Men can tell when someone is needy . and they will lack on only to get what they need and be gone...you need to take the time to heal.. find something that you enjoy.. something that does not require a man.. take up a hobby.. spend time with your friends...take time to get to know and love yourself.. do things with your children ... read a book... go for a walk.. concentrate on being good to you.. learning to love yourself.. and once you love yourself.. you will attract men who will love you too...

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

So hard... feel like giving up Posted: 6/6/2009 7:02:39 PM
The only one you are hurting is yourself.. sure every once in a while we feel like giving up.. but its those who stick with it. keep ad open mind and an open heart that meet that someone special..if you tell yourself you will never love again.. chances are you won't ....you should never give up on the fact that just maybe someday someone will come along and change the way you feel about love...to resign yourself to never loving again . ...is not loving yourself enough to know that there is someone out there . who will love you unconditionally..

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Ex's cant be friends? why? Posted: 6/6/2009 4:59:23 PM
Who would want to be friends with an ex like that.. if he wasn't a good boyfriend . then he definitely would never be a friend.. i don't know why anyone would ever worry about being a friend with someone who treated them that badly.......There are ex's who are friends.. but they were friends to begin with .. they just come to the conclusion that there better off friends...or people who genuinely care and respect each other. will remain friends...the fact that you say you will always love this man is scary... he shows no respect for you whatsoever.. .. you should be thanking your lucky stars to be away from him .... the sad part is people are gonna believe whatever they want to believe.. and those people who are really your friends .... you won't have to worry about......I am sure there is a way that you can stop receiving the texts .. i don't text so i don't know.. but i am sure there are people who know... you can't stop him from telling your friends lies.. the only ones that can stop it are your friends. by refusing to listen .. by telling him they don't wanna hear it ....i am sure your happier being away from him .. but he is still in control and you need to take it back ...if you need to be away from the people who are directly linked to him.. then thats what you need to do..you didn't do him any favors by doing everything for him.. you set yourself up to be used.. then to be used badly.. you say you deserve better.. and you certainly do.. but saying it is one thing and believing it is another.. you need to do what it takes to get this guy out of your life completely...I would hope it would not be hard to get over someone who treated you so badly....this has been an awful thing that has happened to you.. that is still happening...you have to close your heart and your mind to him or anyone like him.. and find the happiness you deserve.. disasociate yourself from him.. ignore his texts or block them.. you can't change the way he behaves.. only what your willing to put up with....I know someone who was being threatened on there msn.. the girl called the cops. the guy went to court.. she had a peace bond on him. he wasn't allowed near her or to call her or to email her.. i am not sure what can be done ..but you should not have to put up with his bullshit.... good luck

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

She keeps hurting me more and more! Posted: 6/6/2009 4:07:38 PM
You should let her play this game with herself and find someone who wants to spend time with you. and who appreciates you...if she does not technically want to feel like you her boyfriend. then chances are you never will feel like her boyfriend...she is doing and saying things that make no sense if she is sincerely interested . she is just stringing you along.. and when she finds someone else. then she will be able to use the excuse well we weren't bf or gf..if you were someone she wanted in her life.. then she would not be doing or saying things. that hurt and upset you..when someone genuinely likes you.. they take and make time to spend with you...i think the first few days she was being lovey dovey is because it was something new.. she liked the idea of someone liking her and wanting to be with her...then i think she changed her mind. and instead of being an honest and decent person ..now she is doing and saying things to push you away....stop allowing her to hurt you. and walk away.. knowing that you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you.. if your feeling hurt all the time.. then its a sign that this is definitely not for you.....

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

I need advice Posted: 6/4/2009 8:48:14 PM
The fact that he brought you in his house. while his wife and kids were upstairs. is so disrespectful....shows he doesn't have a good character ..and you had no right to be in his house..and your expecting more from a man who clearly does not respect his vows .. he wasn't yours to begin with ..and now he is acting cold. because he had no intention of leaving his wife to begin with ..it is too bad that your heartbroken .. but no more heartbroken then his wife and children would have been if they had known this was going on ...and of course the friendship is not there.. once people cross that line. or start to feel more. If there was frienship there. then he would not have lead you on to begin with.. friendship is build on honesty and trust..not sneakiness and deceit..People do whatever works ....and often say. what they think someone wants to hear...Your best bet would be too move on ..he enjoyed the chase.. and once he caught you. he threw you back..want an idea of how a man is gonna treat you..then observe. how they are treating there wife..

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

any way to get over a ex faster Posted: 6/2/2009 9:32:00 PM
The thing about hanging on to the past.. it stops us from moving on..there is an old saying.,. that if you pretend not to care. eventually you won't...you need to replace thoughts of her with thoughts of someone or something else.. to keep busy.. and surround yourself with good people...take time for you. and enjoy the things you like to do..if you concentrate on you. eventually she will become less important.. and your heart will be opened ..to love and happiness and closed to pain .. Sometimes holding on to the p ain stops us from moving on.. it becomes are way of protecting ourselves from being hurt again ..from moving and allowing ourselves to find happiness..rejection is painful. but its also lives way of letting us know that there is someone else out there for us ...

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

What am I doing wrong???? Posted: 6/2/2009 9:09:54 PM
The thing about online..is that the venue is much larger . lets face it .most people no matter how good looking or nice they are . don;t have as many pursuers offline as they do online.. and alot of the online guys and gals for that matter are chatting with numerous others..The amount of game players far out weigh the sincere ones....Don't make it out.. as there being something wrong with you..a lot of it begins with fantasy.. the idea of talking and possibily meeting someone ..The reality is not everyone is who they seem to be..and if it turns weird . its probably a good sign .. lives way of letting you know they are not for you ...

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Potentially clingy friend - trust instincts? Posted: 5/24/2009 9:59:14 AM
Maybe meet up.. then run . seriously . everyone needs a friend sometimes..and she was a friend once..so i guess nothing wrong with meeting up... catching up.. no doubt this is a painful time for her.. should you be cautious.. for sure.. her behavior says as much.. she is looking not only for a shoulder to cry on .. but for someone to make her feel better about herself....all that texting is a little much..and if getting together with you and reminiscing makes her feel better.. than you can bet the texting will continue... she seems to be definitely looking for someone to ease her pain..so be the friend she needs.. then if she tries to bring it in a different direction. then be upfront and honest and cut it off..

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

feeling so worthless Posted: 5/17/2009 9:47:50 AM
If thats the best excuse .. he can come up with your doing okay..I know it is hard.. but the key is not to let someone else validate how you feel about yourself.. yes i know easier said than done....I think alot of us have a little bit of immaturity in us..its what keeps us young at heart anyways..and you are young so.. maturity will come with age and experience..Feel your worth by being proud of yourself.by doing things that make you happy. by being around people who love and accept you for you.. by loving yourself ... surround yourself with good people who are not judgemental.. try to be a person you would be proud of..and it will matter less and less what other people think ....

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Im sick of being hurt Posted: 5/16/2009 10:13:32 AM
3 sides actually. his side .. her side ...then the truth because each one is stretch it to fit themself

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

how to deal with a broken heart Posted: 4/12/2009 9:04:33 PM
In order for a person to move on.. that is exactly what they have to do is move on..the more we dwell on things the more painful it is ...being on a dating site is not a quick fix...Being together for 9 months and never fighting. could either mean you's got alone well.or he wasn't emotionally attached enough to be affected...I don't want to drag you down is more of an excuse a cope out for him to end the relationship...Its hard to let go.. when you feel you met that special someone ..you need to surround yourself with good friends. get out and enjoy life..take time to get to know and love yourself..then hopefully someday you will find someone who is mature enough to be open and honest and not make excuses..we all do whatever works for us ..and with him..after he spends whatever time with someone he bails with the excuse i don't wanna bring you down...how ironic because that is exactly what he did..leaving you wandering and with a broken heart..get out there and start living . and after a while you will look back and be glad it ended

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Have I lost my dignity? Posted: 4/4/2009 1:53:41 AM
If she didn't really want him there then he would not be there..She wants to play mother Theresa at your expense .. so she got the boyfriend there.. the ex husband and she is friends and calls the ex boyfriend.. I think your confusing her niceness with selfishness..its not for the kids.. they are all adults ... and she is saying it happened before .Apparently she had no problem with him leaving before or they would not be divorced..sounds like a hidden agenda to me.. she says she loves you . maybe she does.. but her actions do not back up her words..if she wants this relationship to work. if she cares how this is affecting and upsetting you .. then she will change it and not just talk about it .. and if it doesn't change then you need to move out and move on .. be true to yourself ..

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Emotionally numb Posted: 4/3/2009 8:54:35 PM
Your reaction is a normal mourning of the loss of a role and a stage in your life. Retiring from parenting can be just as difficult as retiring from an outside job....when you had your children with you. you got to nurtur them. do things for them.. Maybe talking to other woman who have experienced the same thing . or starting a support group where people go and talk about it.. Maybe even some counselling alot of times when the children are leaving the nest woman are going through major changes like menopause .or other things . maybe even talking to your children and making it a point to get together more often ..

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Left me for a teenager!!!! Posted: 4/2/2009 9:09:08 PM
Thats his guilt.. but he okay's it with himself by blaming you..its all on him whether he refuses to own it or not ..it is hard especially when you love someone and have children with them.. to want it to work.. the sad part is past behavior usually predicts future behavior. and in his case it did . .. Everything in life happens for a reason , hard to feel that way i know when it seems your whole world has been torn apart. but your lucky to be rid of him ..you deserve so much better ..he knows very well how he created this situation. but if he doesn't acknowledge it he doesn't have to accept blame and continues to blame you..you need to take him to court . and allow the judge to make sure he pays child support..

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Are you friends with your ex ? Posted: 4/2/2009 8:09:08 AM
Some people prefer to move on and leave the past were it is..I suppose alot of times . it depends how the relationship ended . whether people remain.. friends or not..others realize they were better off as friends.. Other times someone is insecure in the new relationship and prefer there mate not to be friends with there ex's ... and other were never friends to begin with..I am friends with my first ex because we share 3 kids. the second one wasn't as easy but in the end i forgave him. only because forgiveness is a gift you give yourself in order to move on .. we are not the best of friends. but we talk once in a while.. In order to maintain a friendship it has to be what both people want..some will remain friends . some won"t... you just have to let her know your happy for her and wish her the best..

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Need closure!! Posted: 4/2/2009 1:54:58 AM
You unfortunately have gotten your closure .. by him saying he would return soon and you not hearing from him .. he has close the door ..we all look for closure to move on . and usually what we end up hearing we end up not liking anyway...For you it is hard because The act of simply closing the door on something that once created happiness only for a short time.... seems so final and sad ...and by hanging on to the memories it makes it even harder... When one door closes another one opens and thats how you have to deal with it ..you have to let it go and move on ...

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

sick of it all Posted: 4/2/2009 1:38:32 AM
If she cheated on you 15 times then it was 14 times to many. you should have moved on the first time...Just because your having no luck on this site.. doesn't mean that there is no one out there for you .. not everyone is gonna meet someone on pof .. And the ones who are calling you unattractive. they are people ...you should certainly not worry about ..Be proud of who you are ... and if there are people who don't wanna talk to you because your black.. then thats there problem certainly not yours ....what we fear we create .. you have to let the past go .. in order to have a better tomorrow. . If you are not happy. and down on yourself. then your not going to attract anyone who wants a relationship..Before anyone else can love you.. you need to love yourself .. If we are happy people. we will attract happy people.. if we are negative people . it will reflect...why we end up being alone.. Everyone has a story..they have either been lied to. cheated on ..abused.. etc.. we are all entiled to one pity party and then we have to move on . feeling sorry for yourself and being bitter is what will keep you alone.. learning to love yourself .. and who you are is .. what eventually will lead to someone else loving you.

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Lost love advice needed Posted: 3/29/2009 2:22:40 PM
People do alot of things in the name of love.. and they don't always come out good..I think you have convinced yourself that you's are made for each other .but if you really felt that way . you would not be looking for advice.. you are looking for people to support how you feel .True love is something that is shared by two.. not too many. and the more times you forgive him..you feel that your letting him know how much you love him.. when indeed your teaching how to treat you by continually allowing him to do it

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Lost love advice needed Posted: 3/28/2009 12:49:39 AM
Some people hang on until the life is sucked right out of them...loving someone is nice . if it is returned.... Loving yourself is more important,.. and never settling for less than you deserve... Fighting for who you love is a waste of time. if he is loving everyone he meets.. and if you's were made for each other .he would not be meeting and sleeping with other woman. and it certainly would happen again.. past behavior usually predicts future behavior..

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

I'm not sure if I did the right thing??? Posted: 3/26/2009 11:46:49 PM
And like many said no doubt.. she probably got punished once they got home.but mostly likely he doesn't need a reason..its probably something he does all the time..i guess there are different ways for sure to look at this situation..

sweetlips167

Joined: 5/27/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

I'm not sure if I did the right thing??? Posted: 3/26/2009 11:42:41 PM
Too many people close there eyes and ears to this kind of stuff.. and will sit and watch a kid get hit or a woman.. or another person for that matter...and do nothing.. did you do the right thing . me being a female who has been there. while people watched on and did nothing would say yes . and no doubt applaud you ..on the other spectrum.. one never knows what you are walking into ..he could of had a knife . a gun . you could have gotten badly hurt or lost your life .. unfortunately i am sure this poor kid has seen lots of violence . but then he has also seen someone trying to help his mother .. you did what you thought was right. and really those were 3 punches he definitely deserved.. and he needed to be on the receiving end.. since he has no problem giving.. great that you called the cops as well.. I t is so easy for other people to judge ,...Cheers for you for trying to help another human being .....

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