Teenage son chat & forums.

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lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Teenage son Posted: 7/5/2008 5:18:04 PM
i have a friend who has a only child an she is going through something similar, only its a girl.her husband died when she was 8 an she threw everything into making her daughter happy putting her own life on hold. i saw it coming that one day her daughter would need to spread her wings an make her her own life leaving my friend feeling abandened. what your son is doing is natural to want to become independent, you need to be honest with yourself an ask how much pressure do you put on your son an how clingy you are. one thing i know about teens is the more questions you ask the more they clam up an get annoyed , you find alot of things out when you just chat to them generally an the trick is when they open up is to be quiet an listen to what they have to say after they have finished talking then thats the time to give advice, they hate being told but they do take on board what you have to say.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Stuck in the middle... Posted: 7/5/2008 4:48:49 PM
she needs to grow up, she doesnt need a friend there to hold her hand. if shes not happy about the wedding she shouldnt go

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

abusiveness Posted: 6/22/2008 2:29:42 PM
the best advice i could give you is give yourself time to heal and become a strong independent woman before considering to date again. abusers are very clever at hiding who they really are and often pick out vulnable women. if you become a strong person then you will be clear in your mind what you will and wont put up with

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 55 (view)

Too Fast? Posted: 6/22/2008 5:19:37 AM
some people are just more cautious then others and rather chat a bit to be sure they have something in common not to waste each others time. that reply would have made me laugh and shows he has good sense of humour, or maybe my sense of humour. i would have mailed him back and told him id already picked out the wedding dress just to amuse myself.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Am I correct to assume bruised ego? Posted: 6/21/2008 4:34:07 PM
dont let this guy get you down ,if you ask me you have had a lucky escape. id block him if i was you.sounds a nasty piece of work

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 150 (view)

I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana. Posted: 6/18/2008 3:40:39 AM
that depends quite honestly if your smoking it around her ,rolling it in front of her ,how much your spending each week an childs going without stuff because of it, and if your are stoned around her.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 147 (view)

Recovering alcholic won't associate with people who drink Posted: 6/18/2008 3:33:07 AM
i dont see the problem here shes open an honest about what she wants, shes a recovered alcholic who knows that drink could be a temptation for the rest of her life, good for her i say.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 276 (view)

Why do women who show cleavage get upset when a guy stares at their breasts? Posted: 6/18/2008 3:29:46 AM
as a top heavy lady i choose not to go round making the most of my assets ,but it makes no difference men still stare. any guy who approaches me an dont look me in the eye has no chance with me as i consider them to be damn right rude and it makes me feel uncomfortable being leered at, although that is great source of my friends amusement but it drives me mad

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Profiles Testimonials at bottom of page... Posted: 6/15/2008 8:49:11 AM
what i find is very strange is out of the 4 people who im on their favourate list ,ive only spoke to one of them and the rest havent even tried to contact me , how odd is that

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

How do you handle this. Posted: 6/13/2008 3:39:26 PM
try not to worry i know its hard because its natural to feel your childs pain ,but this will pass in time.your doing all you can to comfort your son and i agree about keeping children a new partners away from each other until things get more serious. as for your x allow her to make her own mistakes and you just concentrate on being a good parent, you really dont want to cause friction or cause your x to back off from your child as it will be your poor child that suffers.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

How do I lower my standards without compromising too much? Posted: 6/13/2008 6:41:31 AM
lol do what i do wait, ive been on my own 2 years now and im prepared to wait for the right person.although im happy to chat to people and give them a chance, i once overlooked someone who turned out to be a amazing interesting guy who made me happy for a while at least, but it wasnt meant to be

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 161 (view)

What is wrong withnot drinking Posted: 6/13/2008 6:33:10 AM
no that wouldnt bother me at all except if you wasnt happy about me having the occasional drink, i dont like the idea of someone telling me what to do lol. personally i just wouldnt want to be with someone who feels the need to drink everyday thats just not for me ,theres alot more to life then drinking and bars.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

So Im not sure how to feel. Posted: 6/13/2008 5:28:58 AM
i can understand you worrying but you have to keep it from him, he really wont want any dramas and he warned you of this. his exwife will to some degree be always part of his life because of his daughter, you have to accept this. in my eyes hes put his daughter first which shows hes a decent man, this isnt about you its about maintaining the relationship with his daughter. id look at this way if he goes back to his wife just because he spends a few days with her, he would have done so eventually anyway but if he comes back to you it will because he wants you, so for the next week back off and go with the flow.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

Will this fix itself? Posted: 6/13/2008 2:44:46 AM
hes making you feel bad over something you did when you wasnt together, this isnt very fair he has to come to terms with it ,if he cant i would say your relationship has ran its course.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

Next day phone calls Posted: 6/12/2008 3:15:11 PM
how about txt her just to let her know how much you enjoyed her company, dont come on to strong to quick.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

When a guys says, I think we went a lil fast;maybe we could b just friends for now Posted: 6/12/2008 3:02:49 PM
hes told you he just wants to be friends, id take him at his word. if you want a friend great if you want more move on.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 280 (view)

rude emails that spoil your POF experience Posted: 6/11/2008 3:24:02 PM
i only joined less then 2 weeks ago, ive had one guy who has sent me a few suggestive mails that ive just ignored but after recieving 3 more very stupid rude mails today ive blocked him as being i dont reply he cant take the hint.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 140 (view)

Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot? Posted: 6/10/2008 3:17:45 PM
well it wouldnt happen to me because id never get in to a car on with someone i dont know to me thats really taking a chance id meet somewhere in a public place and make my own way to and from.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 73 (view)

Is it really rude to ask a woman her age? Posted: 6/10/2008 3:09:56 PM
i can only speak for myself and it doesnt worry me at all, i cant understand why people should be offended by that as you are who you are . lol im 44 and ive heard every old joke going from my kids ,they just roll off me.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Great 1st date, then phones 5 mins before 2nd to cancel Posted: 6/7/2008 12:14:43 PM
yes lol id be put out ,but hes told you it doesnt feel right so id just forget him.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Miss the friendship more than the romance Posted: 6/7/2008 12:00:51 PM
yes i was best friends with a guy, we was so close for a long time and he was a brilliant friend to me. i honestly regret ever taking it to the next level an being in a relationship with him. when we broke up i missed him like crazy, he made lots of effort to try to stay friends but i found that confusing and painful. i found i couldnt switch back into friend mode it made me feel sad and i could sense that with him to,it just felt like polite conversation strained and both stepping on egg shells round each other.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 172 (view)

Of which astrological sign are most divorced people? Posted: 6/6/2008 6:05:22 AM
im a scorpio and im especially wary of virgo s lol, but thats prob just my bad luck

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Am I overly jealous? Posted: 6/6/2008 2:03:42 AM
no i would be very wary aswell, i find it bit strange why if he was that bad she still talks to him. but there could be a number of reasons like is she scared of him ,not want to hurt his feelings etc, you need to talk to her about this.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Do you realize the main reason you are single when you don't want to be? Posted: 6/6/2008 1:58:11 AM
im aware at this moment im choosing to be single,dates are not heard to find. but dates with the right people are everybody has an idea of who they are looking for and i find as i get older i find im in no rush and can happily wait for what i want to come along.a site like this is good because you can get to know people as friends and that person you are chatting to could be the one.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Snack food suggestions Posted: 6/5/2008 3:22:05 AM
the only stuff i ever eat between meals are nuts or fruit, but my favourate things are frozen grapes yummy!!

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 67 (view)

How should a single mom, with no help, date? Posted: 6/5/2008 3:01:14 AM
have you thought about dating a single dad thats in the same position as you, perhaps meeting i a public place by taking your kids to a zoo or something.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Being picky about a girlfriend Posted: 6/5/2008 1:56:21 AM
take your time getting to know women as friends, when the right lady comes along you will know and will see things very differently. just because you get into a relationship it does not mean that you have to rush into getting married or living together.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 196 (view)

Am I wrong, you make the call... Posted: 6/5/2008 1:42:40 AM
lol thats funny, this time id put it down to experience but learn from it and at least offer the money for a drink next time.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

He's just not that into me? Posted: 6/4/2008 12:43:40 PM
i think you are worrying over nothing, its still early days but all the signs are there that he likes you, i honestly believe when things start slowly they have more chance of working. when romance moves fast it often just frizzles out.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 349 (view)

Fitness and attraction Posted: 6/4/2008 2:01:47 AM
lol he sounds a nice guy, id tell her just to forget him plenty more fish in the sea.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Child that is facinated with strangulation Posted: 6/2/2008 6:21:49 PM
poor little kid sounds like hes reacting to something hes seen in his past, i have no answers but you are doing the right thing by taking it seriously and getting him help. its alot for you to worry about so make sure you take care of you to.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

Boyfriend`s Ex refuses to let me visit baby with him Posted: 6/2/2008 5:59:19 PM
to be honest the mother is within her rights to say no to your visits, it her home an she can have in it who she pleases. you have just said your his new g/f he could have many of them before he settles down. in the future if hes allowed to bond with the baby which the mother is allowing to happen , her trust will grow and in time the father will be able to take the child out. so you should just back off for now.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 127 (view)

Stalkers? How many have you gotten from POF? Posted: 6/2/2008 5:26:07 PM
well im new here and so far ive been lucky that the people i chatted with have been very nice, but in chatrooms ive experienced a couple of guys getting obsessive one was really sweet just reckoned he was in love with me but the other started to freak me out i kept blocking him and he kept rejoining using a different name and once had a long conversation before i realised who i was talking to, i changed chatrooms and some how he found me there to. lol so here i am somewhere new with no pic

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

Am I being a psycho ex? Posted: 6/2/2008 3:36:43 PM
you know what i think he might be feeling ashamed and guilty about the timing of him dumping you, so hes turning it round on you to justify what hes done. if you feel lost and need someone to talk to mail me i know what your going through i lost my dad then 3 months later split with my partner of 12 years, looking back that was the .worst year of my life

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 76 (view)

Trying to be a twisted Karma Posted: 6/2/2008 1:42:22 PM
no way id much prefer to hang on to that nice guy and be happy,anyone who feels the urge to hurt others because of anything they have been through have issues that need working on and no way should be dating.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

i need some advice from anyone please HELP!!!!!!!!! Posted: 6/2/2008 6:52:19 AM
i know this must hurt you, but dont stop the kids seeing their dad they wont thank you for it in the long run. sounds like this lady will eventually ruin the relationship with your x, so id hang on in there. as time goes on you may well appreciate a break from the kids, and possibly benefit from some free time.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

How do u know a relationship is going well? Posted: 6/2/2008 6:26:06 AM
i think a relationship is going well when you dont get them big red flags , when they appear so do the cracks.

lavender44

Joined: 5/29/2008

Msg: 62 (view)

Best friend sleeps with ex after relationship ended.. Posted: 6/2/2008 5:22:24 AM
no you didnt overact, you really dont need friends like that. its a unspoken rule friends just dont go there.

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