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 Author Thread: What music currently inspires you?
 She_Biscuit
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 35 (view)
 
What music currently inspires you?
Posted: 11/12/2009 8:33:51 PM
To many artist songs to even list for me. I listen to everything from Phil Coulter (Ireland Piano), to Kid Rock. Here lately, it's been XM 90's pop rock variety, but it all depends on what I'm doing.
 She_Biscuit
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Crazy things you have done just for a laugh..
Posted: 11/11/2009 8:10:04 PM
Childhood years: My friend and I would ride our mopeds around the island, shooting water pistols in the windows of visiting tourist cars. Then we would take off and hide for a few hours. We were rotten, but it was fun.

Teenage years: The guy who held our graduation party, passed out, and a bunch of us got together and painted his face with make up, blue eye shadow, mascara, red lip stick, the works. It was hallarious.

Most anything else and (I've got more then I'd rather admit too-he he), was never intentional, but sure ended up being a good laugh. Alli Up......I can't help myslef, Big Grin.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Can you be friends with someone that hurt you?
Posted: 10/27/2009 5:04:24 PM
Not when the feelings are still raw. Stand up for ones self, shut the door and take care of ones self. Someone who makes one cry, is not worth it, because they don't give a rats batooty about ones feelings, no matter what they say. So is shutting them out the right thing to do? How much does one think of themselves? That should be the answer then. Blow him off, get over the pain he caused, get stronger and roll on to better pastures. Keep letting him in, and he's learned how much he can get away with and one can live in misery and become this , just not that happy looking.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 103 (view)
 
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 10/27/2009 4:44:33 PM
Income has nothing to do with it, I make my own money and never have desired for someone else to provide that for me. So it better be a choice of a sweet guy or nothing at all, period. If there are abusive traits--no matter what his statis would be--he'll get the boot, and mighty freaking quick too.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 52 (view)
 
anybody have a job?
Posted: 10/27/2009 2:50:55 PM
I'm on my own, counting on other folks, to keep on providing lots of jobs, so that my business keeps afloat. Some clients who were into construction, have taken on part time jobs to keep afloat, as things have slowed here in SC. A few who depend on selling homes and/or real estate, have spaced out appointments. But I was lucky enough to take on a few newer clients to fill in, for the ones who spaced further out in weeks. Thus far, all is still balanced out nicely.

When the economy gets shaky, and especially this bad, the self employed can get a little rattled-stressed and is forced to make changes to adjust and survive. It’s not about keeping one job or two, it’s about creating and keeping many repeated jobs coming in, over and over again. If not enough jobs keep coming in, there is no unemployment to collect, just the nest egg savings to rely on. For me, folks love their pets and make sacrifices to take care of them, and that is part of my survival, through this horrible mess. The other parts are low overhead, remaining frugal, watching Clark Howard and staying positive.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 134 (view)
 
Is it ever okay to resort to violence?
Posted: 10/12/2009 1:07:55 PM
Is resorting to violence wrong? Look up the laws written for the issues, they were created, because of course, it is wrong, or there would not be a need for such laws. There are also laws on using self defense. They were written as guild lines to learn what is just cause for the use of it and also to learn what is considered right and wrong uses of it.

Just like monkeys, humans have the ability to angrily lash out, without notice or forewarning. Unlike monkeys, humans have the option to use their, "Choice", in educating themselves, with what is considered right and wrong, therefore, "Choosing", to put forth what was learned. I've never known the library to be a place a human could not afford to use, in obtaining information, on anything and everything. There is no logical excuse or correct blaming for a human to use violence against another, unless it's a life or death situation. However, it is a choice a human makes, when they show lack in the ability to chose right from wrong, because unlike monkeys, we humans have that ability to learn what is just and what is not. That is the purpose of a human conscious mind, use of the brain and the ability to use their will, in one way or another. Now if a person is in a vegetable state, that right may be beyond ones reach, otherwise, a human chooses their response to what is encountered, what is surrounding them and what they put out, at their own will, Period. NO Excuses or Justifying, makes for good sense, when it comes to violence of any kind, other then self defense in a life or death situation.

It all boils down to a humans, "Choice", in what they choose to think, of what is right or wrong. If domestic violence is what one chooses to engage in, once discovered, then one has chosen to not disengage from what their conscious tells them is wrong.

I think the question here should be, “Am I wrong for engaging in violence, with my partner?” Anyone can answer that, but it is the person asking it, that needs to choose, for themselves of what that answer should be. In the end, a persons going to do what they will, at their own will, but the result will, always be, their own, “Choice”. Therefore, there is no one to blame for the self destructive & hefty price paid along the way, but oneself.

Once a human reaches adult age, it’s all about choices, not excuses, but choices, period. One can’t control what one encounters, but one can control how they respond and what they engage in.


And is it a sign of control or more violence to come in a relationship?


A adult human who shows these signs with another, are who they are, by their own choice. They are showing who they are, it's not going to disappear by another date turning on the calender.

Once again, it's a humans choice to engage or disengage.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 302 (view)
 
over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG!
Posted: 10/5/2009 6:38:31 PM

sorry ladies but men always look younger.


Not in all cases. Stated words are too generalized.


women over 40...well they work...and can have sex.


Again, too generalized and might I add, a bit narrow on the end of what a woman over forty can have. There is adoption, there is marrying someone with children, there is a life chosen to be single that has more then work and sex if one choses, there is freaken freedom, to live it as she wishes too, which is priceless. Not only that, women are having babies up into their fifty's, go figure.


so red flag for a man...no. a woman...yes.


Sorry, but this is one mans opinion, who's been married by the way.

I don't red flag a man who's been married, so I don't expect to get red flagged for my status either. People are people, as long as they are good folks.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 85 (view)
 
how soon is too soon to meet?
Posted: 9/27/2009 10:55:41 PM
Don't do it ASAP, like the same day you talk to someone. Write a little bit, because if they are worthy, they will write some, to let you know them more and also to have interest in wanting to get to know you more too. You get better quality that way, and/or at least better intentions from another.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Do Fairytales Ever Come True?
Posted: 9/27/2009 10:05:21 PM
My goodness, tell her your feelings. Listen, if you guys have known each other for this long, even if the feelings are not mutual, I have a great feeling that the friendship will still be there. Sounds like she's your first love, and that is nothing to be played with. If you don't express yourself, you might just regret it. Like Madonna said, "Express Yourself". Now, I don't believe in fairytales, but first love, that is factual stuff.

Go for it & Good Luck OP
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Loners vs. lonely
Posted: 9/27/2009 9:49:55 PM
At age 24, I took the extrovert/introvert testing offered in college. It turned out that I was labeled as extrovert.

Now, I work for myself, every day, thinking on my own to keep things afloat and I'm in bliss doing my own thing and working alone. Although without my social skills, because I deal with the public on a consistent basis, it would not be possible.

I also love my own space/solitude outside of my work, to either relax, jam out with music while I write creative things, sew, clean the house--etc.., or, quiet time to think alone, because it's how I get energized and it's what makes me tick. Without that, I don't do as well in everything that I do apply myself too. I've never been afraid to go anywhere alone, dinner, movie, vacation, etc.....and I've never not enjoyed that. So I would say, that yes, I'm a loner, somewhere in that mix, because it's never been a problem for me to be so. Just tonight, I went to eat at Red Lobster, alone, but had conversations with the folks there. I had a great seafood dinner, picked up a new business client, came home to a good cup of flavored joe, Motown music playing and am visiting my favorite forums. I’m pretty happy in my own company, however, I'm certainly comfortable in big crowds, small crowds, hanging out with friends/family socially.

To sum it up, here's another loner/with social skills.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
 
What does clingy mean to you?
Posted: 9/27/2009 9:32:38 PM

So I'm curious: to you what kinds specific actions (specific as you can be) cause someone to appear "too clingy"?


*Eliminating their own social life, to be with me 24/7 outside of their work.
*Constantly having to know where I'm at and what I'm doing.
*Calling/texting excessively & when I am not able to respond right away, they show upset.
*When I need time to myself, they take it personal and start getting all insecure about something as so simple as needing a night to myself.
*Always wanting to do everything together, all the time.
*All the basic signs of being insecure in the relationship: needing constant reassurance--bottomless hole traits, that I would have no desire to keep filling for another.

That is when it's time for the boot.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 83 (view)
 
30 Something Woman Being Chased By 19 yr old Male
Posted: 9/24/2009 9:36:04 PM
It depends on what one wants to do. I dated a 26 yr. old guy, when I was 38, not a bad experience. I have a friend who was 46, when she married her guy, who was then the age of 28. Six years later, they are like two peas in a pod. Hey, one never knows, but as usual, one has to be able to deal with the flack, they will get from other folks, who have nothing better to do, then get into other peoples business.

Age 19, that is mighty young, humm, Not sure about that one. For me personally, if I was still in my thirty's, that would be too young, but who's to say for another.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Is a phone call that difficult?
Posted: 9/24/2009 9:16:08 PM
He's either married or has another chick, plain and simple.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 95 (view)
 
I find this site disheartening....
Posted: 9/24/2009 9:08:32 PM
It's not this site, it's meeting more folks then a person normally would on everyday life, outside of the internet.

Which means, there are all kinds, the good and the not so good, in more abundance.

Problem is, it's weeding out the not so good intentioned folks, while figuring out who the good is. That is not easy. One has to thicken their skin to deal with the BS of doing this sort of meet and greet thing, otherwise, one gets to the point of not wanting to do it anymore. LOL, cause there is a lot of BS to weed through in this sort of thing, no doubt about it.

Good Luck and keep looking outside of the computer screen. In other words, don't let it be the only open door in finding ones own desires.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Let me give you the tour...
Posted: 9/21/2009 2:35:23 PM

Do I get a hair-net or do I just delete his number?


Delete his number. What a freak.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Why Its Hard Dating
Posted: 9/21/2009 10:21:18 AM
Wow, this is mind blowing. So, dating is hard, because..........blame on a woman.

Wow! All I have to say, is this, "He who blames his own dilemmas on someone or something else, denies his own reflection and intelligent ability's to be a better person, along with being able to respect others, who strive to also be a better person." How are folks supposed to get along, with such negative thinking of one another. It's not going to happen with written stuff like this. I would say, that the way of thinking, in what is written, is one of the reasons why dating is so hard. Heck, there are many reasons and if it were easy, we folks would not be challenged to use what we were given to think out of the box and use what one has to better themselves, along the way.

Hum, something to think about,
Peace
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Texting over Calling or Both??
Posted: 9/20/2009 9:08:09 PM
Texting after meeting someone is fine with me, as long as it's used for short communication, not used for full conversations, otherwise, I get frustrated with it, and say, "Just Call". If I felt like typing all the time, I would have kept it to email @ POF.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Ridiculous car insurance rates
Posted: 9/14/2009 8:37:13 PM
I pay $1,200.00 per year to insure two vehicles. Both full coverage, one personal and one business covered. It helps to have multiple, stay with the same company for a long duration, clean driving record, home owner and polished credit rating. Travelers is great.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Verbal Rejection vs Silence
Posted: 9/8/2009 6:45:16 PM
After meeting someone, I think it best to be upfront with the lack in interest, in a tactful way, rather then doing the silent thing. Being upfront gives another closure. The silent thing is selfish, rude and disrespectful.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Are you sleeping with your job?
Posted: 9/8/2009 5:47:39 PM
Another one here, married to my professional life, but can certainly make time for someone of interest. Those four men, could have handled that situation a lot better with being honest, rather then stringing a person along. Yes, I agree, we make time if/when one really wants to.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 85 (view)
 
Is dating at 40 just a bad idea?
Posted: 9/8/2009 4:52:34 PM

So any good advice on how to approach this?


Giving it a go to answer: Try meeting folks with different age brackets. Communicate with them to get an idea of where they are at. Don’t rush into anything, but take the time to know who might be of interest, to actually date. If it’s not found right away, that’s ok, because if dating was easy, everybody would have mastered it. It’s all right to step away when one needs to for one reason or another, but it’s a good idea to keep an open door, because if it’s closed for one reason or another, giving up will have conquered one, which leads to frustration, not good.


Or is midlife just a bad time to meet men?


No, the age is not a bad time to meet people. Meeting people can be a good thing, keeps the mind open to learning new things. It’s just that usually, with age, comes changes in ones lifestyle needs. Therefore, it’s best to find someone that, no matter the age, is on the same page in realistic wants and essential needs (essential, not rigid neediness) to date.

Keep the door open, keep it light, have fun and best of luck.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 98 (view)
 
How would you define
Posted: 9/1/2009 6:33:30 PM

When I think "high maintenance," nothing material comes to mind.. but emotional sure does. And yes, there are plenty of guys that are high maintenance. To me neediness equates with high maintenance. Needing constant reassurance that they're pretty/good looking or that you love them, texts/emails/phonecalls several times a day (and freaking out if, God forbid, you are busy and don't answer or reply right away), unable to make decisions on their own, needing to discuss every single problem they have ad nauseum, always have to have things their way or they pout .. yada yada yada.

If a relationship takes so much "maintenance" that it drains you emotionally and limits your ability to be an indvidiual? That's pretty "high maintenance" in my book.


I agree with this.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 372 (view)
 
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/28/2009 6:39:55 PM

You see a profile of interest & he or she is 30something & up, as you continue 2 read a lil further, you notice that he or she has never been married & has 0 kids, do you question why or just immediately make assumptions?


No assumptions here, that would be a great opening for possible shared commonality's.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
loving old pets
Posted: 8/23/2009 9:02:09 AM
My jack, I give her massages, and afterwards, she runs through the house, acting like a pup and is so happy. I brought home a younger dog, in which helps keep her spunky. On her days that are not so good, I'll cook chicken and rice to pull her through. She has a carrying purse, in which she loves. At her age, this comes in handy, going to public places. I always say, I don't own a dog, I'm owned by a dog. I would do anything, for my little buddy.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 184 (view)
 
For a Laugh- What movie would you base your life on as of now?
Posted: 8/23/2009 8:46:53 AM
"Dances With Wolves", except that it's more modern day.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Have you ever dated someone that killed your pet?
Posted: 8/20/2009 2:08:50 PM
No, and that would become a personal, war. One of which, that I would be afraid to even think, of what I would do. There is no way someone, would ever get away with doing such a horrible act. They would certainly regret & never forget, because that would be my main mission, above all else, for a very long time.

I hope the ex paid some kind of justice for such a horrible act. This kind of situation, would not be something, I'd let slide, in any shape, form or fashion.

Gee's, to even think, that there are folks that would do such a thing, gets me so worked up, and knowing that the animal justice laws for this particular act, is no where what it should be, to prevent it from ever happening. Then again, if someone is psycho enough to do this, laws probably would be of no essence, to someone of this mentality anyway. Sad, so sad.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 97 (view)
 
What do you think of spiritual powers? Do they exist?
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:14:32 PM

mind over matter


I keep a mind over matter sign in my office. My reasons are personal, and explaining the many horrific and split second events that I've experienced and survived by using, "Mind Over Matter", would be a book. I won't do that, but I will say that the first thing it takes to even start any understanding of it, is the lack of fear in the process of going into mind over matter. It's not something that can be analyzed by logical thinking, because logical thinking would see both sides of the end result, completely diminishing the whole process. Dreams, intuitions, psychics, magic and premonitions, have nothing to do with a persons capability’s, when it comes to, mind over matter. It is the one thing, that does not involve a persons emotional reaction. It’s more simple then the logic of thinking about it, because it involves letting go, a state of relaxation throughout the process, belief and that is what pulls one through what ever the case may be, using, “Mind Over Matter”.

Folks will believe what they want to believe, after all, it’s differences in opinions, that makes for good debates. Experiences, are the only truth, of the one who bares them and none of which has to be proven, unless one is trying to get them out into the public. As for me, the reactions that I’ve gotten from other folks, each time that I’ve used the mind over matter, in which no one knew I used that, was enough for me to know, that it was seen as amazing, unbelievable and ended with a, “Wow”, remark. But it’s been, my secret, and I’m left with a smile.


 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 341 (view)
 
What do you girls think about guys with guns?
Posted: 8/13/2009 4:38:25 PM
Well, at least one will know, he's got one. Personally, I think its hot.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
New Term?
Posted: 8/13/2009 3:57:08 PM

Do you all think it's a growing trend?


I don't know about a growing trend, heck, during all of my thirty's I thought, that going out partying(dancing & being with super fun folks & great company), was a normal life. In my past career, age was never a factor. A bunch of us got together and hit every night club that was available in the area that we were working. South Beach, many other parts of Florida, Saratoga, NY party social scene, Manhattan & long Island Bar hopping, California, Kentucky, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Keys & many more places. Needless to say, none of us slacked at our jobs. It was a way to treat ourselves, blow off the hard working, long hour days and have a freaking blast. We worked hard, played hard and it worked for not just female, but male to. All that time, my bills never, not got paid and responsibility, was never ignored. Plus, I never went out to hook up with a guy. I went out to have fun in good company. There is nothing wrong with enjoying life like one desires, as long as it’s not over done, to where important things get dismissed. I miss those days and if there were decent clubs where I’m located, I’d go at least once a month, cause I greatly enjoy dancing and music, and my age, I can still get a groove on & hope to do so for many the years to come.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 58 (view)
 
What do you think about people who have psychics' readings?
Posted: 7/31/2009 9:07:40 PM
I've dabbled in that sort of thing many years back, just out of curiosity. But I'd rather go with my own thoughts about things and think it should be taken with a grain of salt. However, recently, I did let a hand reader take my palm, while attending a weekend festival. It was really cool, a lot of positives, that I walked away smiling about. It can be fun .
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
when a man meets a woman !!!!!!
Posted: 7/31/2009 8:08:15 PM

Nothing is real unless it's face to face.


This is so, so very true
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 81 (view)
 
relationship people/solo people
Posted: 7/31/2009 8:01:08 PM

Is this crazy or do you think this is true?


Well, I know that I have experienced middle ground between relationships. I've dated one person for such amount of time and always have taken long year breaks in between the relationships. During those breaks of not dating, seeing anyone, I was working hard, going to school and engaged on other projects. That worked for me, as I had a better reflection of what had been and more thoughts for the next time around. But yeah, it is a rare thing because most folks that I know of, are either, hopping from one relationship to another or have always been in a long time relationship. Middle ground is rare, but there are folks out there, I am one of them.


Are you a relationship person or not?

As far as being a relationship person, I know that I’ve worked extremely well with folks in my previous career and also in the past seven years, running my own business. I have many year long time friendships, that are priceless to me. Two of my past relationships, we still talk to this day, like old buds and nothing more then that. Thing is, I would probably fall into the category of being a non relationship person, since I’ve never married or done the live in thing, other then having roommates. I’ve dated a lot, but am a relationship virgin, in so far as going further then just that, dating. But I do believe that I have the ability, with The Man, that I would choose to do so with. I’ve simply been taking my time, with such an important decision.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
The Sea Horse
Posted: 7/31/2009 7:06:21 PM
The Sea Horse, well she can’t be lassoed. Many have attempted the feat, but she carries great wit, strength and has been running freely, down the stretch, with hooves beating to her own tune, to ever, be captured, by a lasso. She’s followed no lead of another, but suddenly, has been struck, by the lighting clouds from above. She’s paced, nervously, for several weeks, because her ground was suddenly shaken, the moment this tall, dark hair, dark eyed cowboy, set foot upon her turf. And Oh, she’s skittishly raised her head once, twice and third time, while snorting and tapping her hooves, as she’s taken a few steps back, from this cowboy. But, this cowboy, he’s got talent, as he‘s managed to ease her back into the circle, by his tender hand, shown patience boundaries and tenderness with mighty firm passion. This cowboy, well, he’s got The Sea Horse, very curious to know more of him, and she‘s willingly, hanging around, in his circle, gently eating grass, with eyes fixed upon him, at this moment. The Sea Horse, well may in time, be willing to allow this particular cowboy, to eventually, place a classy leather halter upon her, along with the trust, that he won’t have a need to snap a lead, to the end of that halter, for her to join in his circle. He’s not quite yet haltered, The Sea Horse, but there is a great potential there, for him to do so. Only time will tell, if The Sea Horse has set her sights, upon, The Cowboy, that has what it takes, to at last, capture her. For now, she is, in deed, intrigued, by what this cowboy, has shown thus far.

Written by, A.J.S 07/31/09
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 137 (view)
 
A connection between personality and how one treats their pets??
Posted: 7/28/2009 9:16:51 AM
For me, meeting someone who lacks compassion for an animal, simply would not work, in any long term relationship, because animals have been, a huge part of my life. There is such a thing as discipline in teaching/training, so that life works smoother-more functional, with what ever animal is in ones life, but it can be done without breaking an animals spirit. They are not human, but they do have spirits, just like we do. Just like people relations, there is a choice to approach situations with empathy, tact, in which shows who and where a persons morals, values lie. So in my life, yes, it is important of how one thinks and the ways they show, how they handle all that is in their life and what comes into their life, both people and certainly animals.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Do you ever wonder if what people are looking for is a 20 year relationship overnight?
Posted: 7/28/2009 8:16:50 AM

What has happened to actual conversation about likes and dislikes, aspirations, silly subjects, morality, even past relationships and what went wrong, how could you have made it better, what would you change or do over. Pet peeves, a disagreement or two. I mean really getting to know one another? This takes time!


I am so glad for this post and I totally agree. The quoted words above, I have stated, plenty times, with resistance coming from another, claiming, that I already know them, in such a short, short time.

Thanks for writing this post .


Or have I completely lost my mind?
No, certainly not
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 102 (view)
 
Why does love become so complicated as we age?
Posted: 7/27/2009 11:00:40 PM

Young lovers truly fall in love with each other. It is not complicated. There are very few games. The couple appears to be friends.

What happens as we age?



Past experiences and accumulating more to loose, is what happens with age.

Young love is easy, as there are no hesitations from a past hurt, the heart is not guarded, and therefore, one will love whole heartedly, allowing the friendship and love to blossom, naturally. That is why first loves are usually, so special. There will never be another one like that, but there certainly can be, another one, even better, because it will be, mature love.

When two people come together, after years of experience behind them, there is a lot more to learn about another, because they have years of history, in which has made them who they are today. Complicated, hummm, perhaps in the very beginning. I believe if two people share enough common interest, views, goals and oh yes, he/she knocks each others socks off, that of what may be looked at as complicated, can become a shared dance, of give and take, through shared respect, communication, trust and acceptance. Anything other then that kind of complication, is too complicated and one should not settle, move on, until they find, “What they know they want with another“. If one thinks about it, it’s really not that complicated, it just takes patience and the willingness/confidence to stand for what one truly desires.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
You forgive but can you forget?
Posted: 7/27/2009 9:50:48 PM

They say it takes time to forgive but a lifetime to forget ~ how do you do it?



That can be a tricky thing to do and I'm sure each person is different. All I know is this, it took me, personally, 15 years, to finally forget and have peace with it. I thought, I had forgiven, because I did move on, but not fully during those years. What it took to forget (put the past it where it belongs) and finally close that door, was, him coming back into my life, out of the blue, with the first real apology. Just talking to him, made me realize that things turned out for the best. It was like a final closure, that set my heart free, and I am very happy for that.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Profile Question
Posted: 7/24/2009 7:36:56 AM

I like the forum part of this site....... Even if I don't post comments that often, I'd most likely stay.

After 2 months of dating and we had the talk about being "exclusive" I would change my status to "Single/not looking" and add to my profile that I'm currently dating someone and no longer looking. And of course that I'm only here for the forums.

Now if I did not read or post in the forum section. I would delete my profile right after we had the being exclusive talk.


Cool, thanks.

Have not internet dated enough & trying to figure out the appropriate ways to go about it. Found someone who stopped me dead in my tracks, when I least expected that. Just curious how to handle this part of it. That is why I love these forums.

Thanks all to your opinions on the subject also, interesting.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Profile Question
Posted: 7/23/2009 10:03:24 PM
Guys, just out of curiosity, if you were dating someone from this sight, say going on two months and have fully expressed true interest in that person, what would you do with your profile? Do nothing while leaving it up and running as it is? Change it? Hide it?

Thanks.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
How do you get past this?
Posted: 7/21/2009 4:13:55 PM

I was reading a thread on here about men holding on to relationships knowing that the relationship needs to end because it is not working out for them.


That reminds me of the song by Pearl Jam, "Better Man", lyrics, for the women who are doing the same thing.

At least your not singing that one. Hang in there, keep doing what brings you happiness, you'll pull through it in time & hopefully, what your looking for will be right around the corner, before you even know it. Good luck & keep the push
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Seems like a good start, what to do from here?
Posted: 7/21/2009 3:50:01 PM
If your comfortable with the phone, do the phone call right before meeting. If that goes good, then plan the meet in a familiar, public place, ASAP. There is nothing better then the meet up, in which will pretty much sew up more assurance of your interest, or not, but at least you'll know. Good Luck Me personally, I like to see the face that I'm talking to on the computer. A good few emails are essential, but not to waste my time, if I have serious interest, I want to see the real deal.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Who can you call?
Posted: 7/20/2009 5:53:04 AM
Over twenty years, I've used AAA for transportation emergency's. Actually have used it to help friends when riding with them, more then I've had to use it for myself. I am very self reliant & enjoy handling things on my own. However, if ever in dire straights, I've never been without support assistance from the people in my life. I think one gets back, what they give out to others.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Like this Man but not the Jokes he makes
Posted: 7/13/2009 5:34:01 PM
I have to agree, that is, insensitivity. I had a similar thing, meeting a guy a few weeks ago, who made certain comments that he said where jokes and none of them set right with me. Maybe they both have a case of speaking before thinking, but still, darn, if I had no self control for the feelings of another, with what I do for a living, I'd be hanging out on the corner with a cardboard sign, "Out of work, need food". Common sense and respect for another, well, it does not cost a darn thing.

 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Too Much Personal Info On POF Forums
Posted: 7/9/2009 12:09:11 PM
Nah, I would not think to much about that post ending with your original given name. There are too many various folks signed on to this sight, not to have some similarity pop up and make you go Humm.

However, sorry to hear about your identity theft, that is a more common thing to happen, then people think. How I know about that is, I'm a notary and read the mags every month on the subject. You can always sign up to life lock, for a bit more securtiy.

Peace
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 29 (view)
 
is it weird to ask someone to meet up after a couple of emails?
Posted: 7/6/2009 9:20:13 AM
After a couple of emails, if you & the other is really interested-without much doubt, exchange phone numbers. If the conversation is still appealing, then yes, meet. It's the only way to really seal the deal of curiousity, while dating on line.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Why, why, why
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:40:02 AM
Oh my, that is a head messing up, emotional rollar coaster ride situation. If you want to remain level headed, hang it up, walk away from it. If you want to be dangled on a string of being totally disrespected, mistreated, and etc......, stay on the ride. Your choice, not easy once your caught up in the middle of it all, but I would say the best decision for yourself.

Good Luck
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
How far?
Posted: 7/3/2009 6:09:04 PM

So, how far are YOU willing to travel to meet and or carry on a relationship with someone?

If I answered this question more then three weeks back, I would have said, not more then a half hours drive, because of limited time & heavy schedules, I've wanted local only. Plus, it would seem to me that the shorter distance, the more time could be spent getting to know someone better. But since I've met someone of interest, about two hours out, now, I can't say that. I'm still trying to digest, that I've met someone who has literally thus far, budged me off of that requirement. Suppose after some given time, it's only been a few weeks, I'll be better to answer this sort of question, in better detail. Two hours might not seem like such a big deal to some folks, but in my life, it's a lot, but I'm going to give it a go.


Secondly, how long would you be willing to be in the relationship before you either relocated to be with them or asked that they relocate to be with you?

Considering that I have my own business, I doubt that I'd be the one uprooting. Considering that this current interest irons out to work into an exclusive at some point, he has his own business, I would never dare ask him to give that up to move my way. I would suppose this answer would all boil down to two peoples situations and circumstances.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
One day she's day...Next day she's gone...???
Posted: 7/2/2009 12:02:23 PM

Ten bucks you told them what the last five gals did and all they wanted to know was why. You handed it to 'em on a silver platter.
You actually have to have some passion outside of her and for her other than the desire for a piece of meat at your side.


Wow, so cool, what a perfect response.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Does This Happen to Anyone Else?
Posted: 6/29/2009 8:32:35 AM
The stood up part, was not a respectful or honest thing. Be glad the situation did not go further, and that suddenly happened, down the road.

As far as getting on POF, after a first meeting or what one would consider a real date, I don’t see that as a problem. I joined mainly for the forums and enjoy them. So I log in when ever I want to read some. Also believe that it takes some time to get to know a person, before uprooting a personal profile and diving right in, after a considered first date, even a second date at that. If all goes well over time, the interest remains strong, then its time for a two way conversation on what one another would feel comfortable with, on the subject of what to do with each others POF profiles and hopefully will come to an agreeable compromise.

Dating is just that, it’s dating, to get to know someone and that takes time, not an abrupt, “I’m a physically attractive, quick, pull out the stops!” And there you go, swimming in unknown waters, when later down the line, one might have lost to much, on an impulse gamble, without taking the legitimate time on learning the real parts of a person.

Um, something to think about.
 The_Sea_Horse
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Hey do ya personally know any happily married people in real life?
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:42:30 AM

Is it that hopeless? I mean if every one is getting stabbed in the nads and they are howling in pain, what's so special about me that it won't hurt me?


When other people are there for examples that don't show a positive situation, one has to look outside that social circle to see other examples. Look outside the box.

There are folks that I know through time in experience of meeting and getting to know, who have very workable longtime marriages, along with meeting and knowing folks that had complete disasters in that area.

Its a big world, with many different strokes, for different folks.

Thing is, one has to figure themselves out, to know what they want and what would work for them on an individual level. Only then, would one be ready for what they desire. Take your time and you’ll figure out your question for yourself.

For now, have fun, enjoy the experience, keep your eyes & ears open and you’ll come up with your own views of what a marriage means to you, personally.
 
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