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roguedude420

Joined: 6/5/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

she just up an left Posted: 9/7/2008 4:34:54 PM
First off, sorry that this happen ed to you....I can pretty much empathize with you....I was married and committed totally to my ex wife, treated her very well, and she left one day while I was on a four day business trip, which I rarely ever take and I always want her to come with but this time she got very mad that I was going and refused to come with me saying she did not feel like it. So I couldnt get ahold of her the last day of my trip and was worried so I rushed home earlier than expected, and she was gone...No note, no phone message, nothing...my only hint was that some of her clothing wa s gone.She even locked the animals in our bedroom and left the back door open. She suffered from Borderline personality disorder, which I did not know until later, I knew she had depression...but no clue how bad she actually was. Evidently her parents, who abused her her whole life until I came along and married her, and convinced her to leave our $980,000 home in a VERY nice area of Oakland hills, and go back to her parents.....I found out later that her BPD condition can get serious when people with that illness are left alone for periods of time....I dont want to get into it here, but I never ever once mistreated her, she was the one tha t treated me horribly, yet I could never get angry at her because I knew it was part of her depression, even now, I dont hate her,but I have decided to move on and have started dating again....I have yet to find the love of mylife...but I have faith that she will run into me when the time is right, whether it is through this site or not I do not know....But I do have faith, as should you my brother....She destroyed me when she left....especially leaving no answers...but it wa s a fact I had to accept and after a while, the hurt got less and less, and now I dont have any hangups at all about dating or finding my real soul mate.... Good luck my friend.... Peace Jason

roguedude420

Joined: 6/5/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

no luck Posted: 9/7/2008 4:27:05 PM
The VERY BEST RESULTS come from.....ready for this? They come from NOT GIVING A SHIT.....literally NOT trying....just saying screw it, she will run into me when she runs into me and stop looking.....I should take my own advice, but that is when it happens. :) I was in a committed relationship for a long long time, so getting back out there can be tough....I know I am ready for the right girl but even I know you cannot TRY, you will only fail, love is not something you can force.....

roguedude420

Joined: 6/5/2008

Msg: 743 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 9/7/2008 10:45:02 AM
I was married to a girl that had this condition for 11 years we were together, and she was and had every classic symptom of BPD and one day I came home after being gone for four days....and guess what? She freaked out and packed up and left, at the behest of her parents who got into her head and told her lies about me, which since I was gone for FOUR days, meant I had abandoned her. I had a business trip I HAD to go on and she was mad and refused to go with me and also refused to let me leave to go on it.....She tried to kill herself several times.....It was ....horrible...I had to take her to the ER over 200 times in 11 years....I also do not think that I could ever return to that kind of life, and if there is even a hint of that sort of behaviour I will not date a girl like that....I was soo in love with her....It was truly horrific.....

roguedude420

Joined: 6/5/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

Worst thing You did to someone you were involved with Posted: 9/6/2008 12:50:28 AM
Well, I treated my ex wife like a queen...So I do have a story about what she did to ME....After being married to her for 10 years and together for almost 12, I came home one night to find a lot of her stuff gone as well as her car, that I had JUST bought her, and she was nowhere to be found, no note, no phone message, NOTHING....just gone.....I spent the next three days frantically calling the police, the hospitals, her horrible parents, everyone...Then finally she calls me to tell me she decided to leave me and that she did not see that we were ever going to own our own house, and that she wanted to be able to drive off the lot in a NEW car and drive it to HER OWN house and that shew wanted nice things in life,(at the time we were living in a $980,000 house in Oakland hills, the car I bought her cost me $6500, so it was not new, buyt it was however VERY nice and the kind of car she liked, a SAAB 9000 CDE with the nice sports and luxury package with turbo, in MINT condition.....I found out a bit later that she was suffering from split personalities as she could not remember a lot about OUR past and that her parents had threatened her to leave me and evidently convinced her to....It has now been a year and she evidently has not looked back. Even though she had it really good,, she obviously doesnt think so.. She did a lot of horrible things to me over the years, being abusive, she used to physically assault me hitting me in the face and not playing around either, because I refused to fight with her, like maybe I left a door open to the downstairs, which allowed a draft, and she would go balistic, and when I simply refused to feed into her rage, she would actually hit me and get right in my face....I knew it was her mental illness doing it, she was bi polar and manic depressive, I stopped her from killing herself several times, once she took a handfull of muscle relaxers and ended up in the mental hospital overnight, another time she tried slitting her wrists, and yet another time tried to jump out a 3 story window...the time with the knife, I grabvbed her arm to stop her from cutting her veims open and she refused to drop the knife, so I forced it out of her hand, and gave her a bruise accidently, and later on, she claimed I abused her physically because of that, of course not mentioning that she was trying to kill herself....So....I am of course leaving out a LOT, but that was the worst thing she ever did to me....And I still loved her unconditionally......I knew it was her mental illness and so I couldnt really get angry at her, even now, I still dont hate her....I have moved on and started to date but....It still hurts....

roguedude420

Joined: 6/5/2008

Msg: 48 (view)

Why do tall big men want tiny women ? Posted: 9/6/2008 12:27:39 AM
well I am 6'2" tall and I find that for some reason, very very short women seem to be attracted to me, It doesnt bother me at all though, I have dated one girl taller than me! She was 6'4" tall and it was actually pretty cool for once I did not have to bend down to kiss, and it made other activities...umm....more ...umm...compatible or easier I dont know LOL

roguedude420

Joined: 6/5/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

He left and I never heard from him again Posted: 9/6/2008 12:21:33 AM
OMGOSH What a fukn dikhead!!!! You are obviously a nice girl who is way to gullible to what ashole guys like this tell you. MOVE ON!!! Never allow this asssshole in your life ever again, throw his stuff in the garbage and dont look back.. My wife of 11 years walked out on me one night and without even a note. It hurt.....a LOT, but I decided to move on and it was not easy, I was truly in love with her, I never abused her, nor cheated on her, I was there for her when nobody else would be. She had severe mental problems, I found out afterward that her alternate persona took over and she did not even remember who I was!! And since her parents hated me from the start, well anyway, my advice and you should take it....dont ever answer his calls and move forward!!! Peace

roguedude420

Joined: 6/5/2008

Msg: 83 (view)

How to Date With A Disability Posted: 7/4/2008 8:52:44 AM
Violet Tigress, I appreciate that you have struggled through this life in our society with the disability that you have, I am empathetic that your body = "Does not work the way it is supposed to" , sympathetic as well. I read your profile and your posts. I suffer from a disability as well. Constant pain on some degree, from severe, to very manageable. There are many things I want to do but cannot. I am sure that girls out there I have met may have decided not to date me based on this fact and I have never lied about it. I try my best not to be judgemental, I want nothing but to be at peace and happy and very much in love in a mutually beneficial relationship. I personally have never turned away from a potential date because of her disability. I would never make fun or treat you or anyone else with inpunity or disrespect because of it either. I think that you come off as very abrassive, harsh on people, and sometimes downright intollerant and mean spirited...even bitter. While I can say that at times I have felt similar emotions at the world at large, I Have learned to do my best not to judge, look down my nose at anyone, or outright flame someone because of their perception (or limit of) or their opinions. My advice: Listen to more Bob Marley, and smoke more good weed with good people. My profession takes me all over California, and I hang out with and help people with severe illnesses everyday, almost. There are only a few I come across that are extremely callous and disingenuine. I know of one in particular, she suffers from brain tumors, and is a friend of mine, she has made national headlines in the scope of safe access to cannabis as medicine, and she is, inside a wonderful person, I have a lot of love for her, but I dont spend a lot of time with her because I have tried and failed to try to get her to feel and show love more instead of anger, rage, and resentment for her friends who have in fact helped her out tremendously. She tells me she has become very bitter, and her heart has calloused over. This has happened to a lot of people, even me at one point, but I broke out of it with love, and people who cared about me. First and foremost, when looking for love, I look for COMPASSION, love, EMPATHY, self esteem, loyalty and honesty, and a down to earth good natured woman to get to know. I was married to a woman for 11 years that had a severe physical and mental disorder/disability and spent at least 150 nights in the ER right next to her holding her hand and allowing my heart to love her intently and honestly. Unfortunately, her mental disorder got the best of her, whether she allowed it to or just simply did not get the help in time I do not know now, but in the end, she walked away from me, completely consumed..... I think you will find the man of your dreams if you try your best to adopt the principles I described above....Love is tangable, more than you think......and I think you will find that being a bit less overtly judgemental of everyone for any reason will go a long way. Like the text thing that annoys you....Why exactly does it annoy you? Is it a real annoyance? I mean what if the most incredible guy out there TXT'ed you, because he thought it was a great way to break the ice, thinking that he was doing the right thing by contacting you that way, and you got mad at him and blew him off, or said something really brash at him for doing such a "terrible" thing and you just turned away someone that you could have truly connected with???? We are NOT all the same as I am sure you know, but if you STOP for just a minute, BEFORE judging someone unfit, or stupid, as you put it, and just try to see things from their point of view, even if it is NOT your own point of view ( like make believe that you believed the opposite of what you do, then look at what they said or did from that perspective if you can) and take another look at it, you may see things differently. Or you may not... We all choose in the end....its your choice how your future goes and who it is with..... Peace to your heart...

RogueDude420

Joined: 6/5/2008

Msg: 4571 (view)

What is wrong with the persons profile above you in this thread? Posted: 7/1/2008 11:03:01 PM
Hmm whats wrong with it?? Ummm....Well hes into ****....cats that is... LOL....Ok LOSE the cowboy hat, Try not to be so stoned when taking pictures, lose the alien head, and SHORTEN the description a little bit, other than that, you did a great job and you should be getting some good looking girls.... Now for the next person....GO EASY ON ME!! :)

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