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Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 755 (view)

oral sex and swallowing cum and why they wont do it Posted: 12/31/2008 6:39:08 PM
Ouch that hurt, if I actually was overweight and insecure maybe it would have but nope I'm not and it makes me feel like you care But no matter how old you get name calling never gets old, makes me feel all warm inside, I hope when I'm your age I can still have a ****ing bite just like you . 3,6,9 The goose drank wine the monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line the line broke, the monkey got choked and they all went to heaven in a little row boat

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 748 (view)

oral sex and swallowing cum and why they wont do it Posted: 12/31/2008 3:20:54 PM
I'm really sorry reading this thread, to Kirota and Kittenhere, you both sound really illogical and petty I would hope neither of you is in the law field because I wouldn't let you represent my cat in a trial. No one ever mentioned love, what rcdnorm is talking about is in the initial stages of a relationship, you know after sex and before love, unless you are on of those love at first sight people. You feel insulted somehow, it just makes me angry just like when someone says "I prefer not to date big women", all big women hop in and say "well, you're a loser then", as long as no one is saying something insulting like calling overweight women fat chicks let it go, preference is preference. I read the thread and calling a woman who won't swallow inhibited or starfish, is really not that big an insult nor is it directed at you. Please feel free to come at me if you choose, I have recognized your abject stupidity and irrationality therefore feel no need to care about what you may think, nor feel the need to change your mind just to beg you to shut up so men won't know women illogical and dumb sounding as you can speak English and use machinery. PLEASE GET A****in your mouth quickly if it will stop you from talking and sharing opinions, you don't even have to swallow, no one will make you, you're liberated, deuces This was Soooooooo much fun!@!!

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

A lot of women don't like sex? Posted: 8/19/2008 7:18:19 AM
Women want to change the world, NOW, not for future generations but for us. So women try to ignore, all the chemicals that give off the lovey dovey feeling, and have and "He got his, and I got mine". We can change the world, but we can't change how men think, many men will take sex as a gift, but leave the woman behind, if she is free with herself to soon. How hard do you think it would be, if when you had sex with a woman you had to wonder if your value had just gone down a notch. Tell me you're a free thinking man, I don't care, from what I've seen with my own two eyes, men want something to call their own and when a woman gives up, yes gives up the goods he then wonders, "If I can get it, get it", I know others can. And for all you enlightened men out there good for you, but you don't live where I live and the truth is most men that have the "sex on the first date" don't change how I feel, are not the kind of men most women go for, sorry. You are the nice guys and your key don't get the engine revving like the bad boy does. So women enjoy sex, they just wanna hold out if they like a man cause they want to give his most desired illusion, "that he is special, and 500 guys didn't get it already".

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

to breakup or not to break up? that's the question Posted: 8/19/2008 7:01:47 AM
You shouldn't date until your mind is in a healthy place and you accept who you are, physically and mentally. If I had a man berating me to go to the gym, **** off, but if he asked nicely I'm in. It appears that this girl has accepted her weight and is happy where she is, or is too lazy to change it despite not being happy. Both people are not right for this guy. If she loves herself as is, then there comes frustration galore for said gentleman. And a sexy, confident, love slave for another lucky man. If she is a lazy cow, like I am sometimes and motivation is not working then she shouldn't be in a relationship until she works on herself. And on top of that this man needs to get out before he breaks her confidence and gives her self esteem issues, even though at this point those may not be avoided.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 281 (view)

Swinging i don't get it! Posted: 8/16/2008 6:36:01 PM
I used to love to swing until one day I fell and broke my leg, now I stay on the ground, hope I was helpful.........

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

child Posted: 8/11/2008 5:18:40 PM
Wow this question really intrigued me as I have decided that I really don't want to have kids, but wouldn't mind raising one and would prefer to adopt a kid 4 years of older. I have always wondered how this would complicate life for me, as so many men want nothing more than to pass on their genes for no reason than to see their own features in someone's face. I think it is sad that people feel like this and so many say they essentially feel they can't love someone's child as they would their own, well that really sucks. As for me I could only have a child if I loved someone so much that their overwhelming need to have one superseded my need not to ever spend 9 months with a child growing inside me. So yay for adoption .

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 189 (view)

Looking at younger women / girls. Posted: 8/11/2008 2:51:33 PM
Get over yourselves people, me and my friends go to the bar all dressed up, one of the girls with us was actually 17, with make up she could have passed for 20 something, age has and will never mean anything, all we know is what our eyes tell us, if my eyes tell me that a guy is hot and sexy and then I find out he is old enough to be my father, it doesn't change my initial reaction. You can't stop people from staring, and I don't think it is inappropriate for guys of any age to appreciate youthful beauty, and think, "I remember when I was that age and could get girls like that", however when they start thinking, "Maybe I still can" and act on it that becomes a problem. When I was in the bar, a 40 something year old man smiled at me, I smiled back and we talked, it was all friendly and he never gave me the impression he was being more than friendly, and if he had I would have declined firmly. As for the wife, maybe her husband had given her reason to be insecure in the past but based on the facts presented, we can't know whether the stare was a stare or a lustful leer or whether the wife was a jealous shrew, so while you stand on your high horses, I hope one day someone shoots your horse point blank in the head.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

Your sexual detail Posted: 8/10/2008 9:22:14 PM
I'm sorry, but women can be dumb, girls share intimate TMI information with each other, Men should be afraid, I probably know more about what you did that night, how big it was, and whether you were any good, than you will ever be comfortable with. Usually girls act surprised when their friends steal their men from under them, but they forget that the have been bragging to this friend about how good he was in bed, all the gifts he bought her, where he took her on vacation. If you love and cherish your man, tell your friends he is an awful lover, cheap as Scrooge, and treats you like dirt, better to keep her away. P.S. and if your friend always shows up at your house skimpily dressed, keep an eye on the hussy .

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

Making fun of girls...and they laugh! Posted: 8/9/2008 5:57:11 PM
Me and my friends call each other heifer, ****, skanky hoes and other names even more debasing all in good jest, and I tell my Polish friend that I hate Polish people and she replies that she does too then we laugh. But at the end of the day you never know which one secret insecurity will get people going, like telling a size 6 girl she looks like she weighs 5000 pounds and her believing it, GO figure.....

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

Do women secretly hold higher standards on men dating through the internet. Posted: 7/18/2008 5:51:03 PM
Yes, on the Internet the scales are tipped in women's favor, guys you no longer have the ability to win her over with your personality, to make her laugh and maybe tip the scales in your favor and get the first date. You fall below her height requirement, her weight requirement, her list of acceptable occupations, you either have or don't have kids and then on top of that maybe you have the audacity to have your own set of requirements which is unacceptable. How can you win, find those women who don't have the secret requirements, it will be hard and odds are she may not pass your tests and you may either have to lower your standards to be with her or keep on looking for that thin, smoking hot chick who doesn't mind that you're are under six feet, overweight, and not that attractive.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 98 (view)

Is Sarcasm a turn off? Posted: 7/17/2008 8:45:17 AM
The problem is that most people don't know how to use sarcasm, even in person. When using sarcasm you must attempt through every other means, body language, eyes, facial expression that it is meant to be taken lightly as a joke. People who talk of dry, sarcastic wit, usually use sarcasm with a dead serious face, for experts this is still easy to identify and gives a good laugh. For the MAJORITY of people this is considered just plain rude and mean and **y. My friend uses this form of wit, if you say , "I'm so fat", she will say, "You're a really fat ", dead pan, only days later will she say, I wasn't being serious, I don't think you're fat at all. For a person with insecurities, even if you aren't fat, you just spent days hating her. I do the same thing but I roll my eyes and shake my head in the negative, now, "you're a really fat **", really means "Shut up skinny, stop complaining". If you have noticed that your sarcasm does not easily come across, shut the hell up and leave it to those who can convey it. And no, just because most people don't get it doesn't mean you're clever, because everyone thinks you're a meany.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

When your fiancee announces that he is bisexual, what would YOU do? Posted: 7/17/2008 7:51:15 AM
I think we have to remember that no two people have the same definition of their own sexuality. Some men say they are straight but will allow their SO to penetrate them with a dildo. Some men say they are straight and would never ever allow anything near that area even a woman, Some men are sexually attracted to men but because the thought is too disgusting will not act on it. That being said bisexual people are just that people. Some bisexual people will enter into a relationship full intending to be faithful, but over time their fantasies of the other sex turns a want into a need. If they are good people they will break off their relationship to fulfill this need, if they are selfish they will try to hold on to what they have and fulfill this need. And some will deny what has become an urgent need until they feel trapped and resentful. People will always be people, so in fearing that a bisexual person will cheat, the question is will this person cheat, regardless of sexuality. And if the question is a moral one, stick to your guns.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 96 (view)

Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you? Posted: 7/16/2008 9:03:29 AM
When I guy tries to talk to me on the bus or on the train when I am on my way to someplace I am not at all receptive, when I man follows me down the street, I am not receptive. When I man tries to talk to me when I am with my mother, I am not receptive. When I man tries to talk to me while I am reading, he better have read to book.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Do you know when someone is checking you out? Posted: 7/16/2008 8:57:51 AM
Actually if we are with our friends we notice, when I am with my friends I tell the when people are checking them out and they never believe me, but I tend to notice those things. And once one of my friends on the train who is Spanish told me the two Spanish guys sitting right across from us were having a discussion on my chest in Spanish. I was incredulous, so I am not surprised anymore that guys will say crude stuff even with you close enough to hear.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Almost out of here Posted: 7/14/2008 9:27:18 PM
The forums are awesome, just don't get addicted, I think I am going to need help soon, I have gotten attached to them and love reading all day.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

the reason(s) in having a kid Posted: 7/14/2008 8:58:38 PM
What are you leaving for the kids that are born today? A world filled with debts not their own to pay. A world of cars with no fuel to run? A world where you have used up all the fun? Where will you lay the kid's head to sleep? In buildings so high the sky's in reach The trees so parched the leaves will flee. Animals we talk of, but they never see. How will you answer the child's thirsty throat? The waters dried, for both man and boat. What will you say when the children cry? We made the bed, now you must lie.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 55 (view)

What are some characteristics about men online that bother you? Posted: 7/14/2008 8:58:08 AM
1 ) I like to answer emails but when I am nice and respond with a point of interest, thanks for the compliment, and a subtle hint that I feel that we have nothing in common to talk about, I get more mail and then I try to be short, but people don't take hints. 2) When I do think someone might be interesting to converse with, I try to talk about common interests, a few laughs and suddenly I get the baby, honey, and talks about the future, if you are so impatient to meet someone, why email someone who isn't? 3) If you have intimate encounter on your profile, why IM me and tell me you're looking for long term or friends, I can read, and then tell me you made a mistake when I mention the disparity to you, LOL you didn't notice for two months? RIggggggggggggght 4) If you like slender girls, why email me when I say I'm a BBW, you know how to read what's stopping you and please don't tell me I'm not, I've met me, you haven't. 5) Hi, your profile is interesting, we have a lot in common, what do we have in common? sounds like a fortune cookie to me, good for everyone. 6) And no I don't want to describe me and you in any sexual act, I could, I'm a pretty good writer but I don't want to and if you ask one more time, I will explode. 7) Do you have more pics?, you have one pic of yourself and sometimes none and I didn't ask you for one, I have six, why do you need more, how will that help you in life? 8) You're hot, thank you that really is a help to any woman's ego but I'm sure you know that tells me little about you. 9) No, I don't care if you're married, your wife cares I don't, just don't talk to me because then I care. 10) No I don't want to meet while you're in town, I'm glad you have discovered the wonders of transportation, but your proximity doesn't change the fact that we had nothing in common when you were thousands of miles away. 11) Yes I seem nice, I am but like everyone else I have my limit so if I do a 360 in 2 seconds it is because you have made a faux pas and now my demon has emerged and only your utter humiliation will crush it.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

A Thin Line Posted: 7/14/2008 8:18:42 AM
I was just wondering, "A lot of people spout off, "these days everyone expects everything to be easy, that's why there's so many divorces because people lack patience to stick things out". So I was wondering whether that was the change from before ,whether those lifelong couples stuck it out through maybe years of bad times and we just lack that fortitude, or whether people are just smarter now and know that the good times aren't coming back.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

A Thin Line Posted: 7/13/2008 9:15:45 PM
I want to know what people think about this, in terms of time when does working through hard times become futile, when does riding the rough waves become just trying to fix something that isn't working? In other words how long do you feel people should be willing to give a relationship to get better?

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this? Posted: 7/13/2008 11:01:01 AM
I think when discussing this question you have to seperate celebrities from normal people. The case of 50 cent is funny because people are able to support their kids on 80,ooo dollars a year, with 500,000 he was not only supporting his child but the mother whom he never married. That woman was being greedy and got what was coming to her, I am sure 50 cent will still make sure his child is living high. However most normal women struggle to make a life for themselves and their children, we do hear ridiculous stories of men who are living below their means to keep their ex wives living above their own. But any parent who can't see that not paying child support is hurting their child is an abuser, they are collecting their child's affection and love without giving in return. When you hear a story however, you have to get to the start, is she not letting him see his kids because he won't pay or did he stop paying because he never got to see his kids?

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 120 (view)

Sugardaddy offer Posted: 7/12/2008 9:42:51 AM
Yeah, usually if someone if willing to willingly support someone for sex, then they are probably deficient, or they are smart enough to understand that no woman with sense of self is willing to do this for free,. But why would anyone want to tether themselves and form and obligation to someone who has none to you and would dump you if his wife ever found out? I think women are smart to refuse.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 100 (view)

So you see two girls in a bar rubbing up on each other on the dance floor. Does this turn you on Posted: 7/9/2008 9:20:23 PM
I enjoy dancing, if the music is playing I will dance in Best Buy, In the Disney Store, or at the bus Stop, that said while some "young girls" may do do this psuedo lesbian shit for attention most of the girls I know don't. You see it's a comfort thing, when you dance with guys at the club they don't understand that 95% of the time they are merely a pole, you do not care about them as a person, you just want to dance, if you dance remotely in any way that is sexy they will subtly attempt to rub you, gyrate against your butt, graze your chest and all this shit is not welcome. A t least with your friends you know that if you drop down to the floor, shake your hips and your breasts jiggle a little they won't feel the need to disrespect your personal space and your body. And they never whisper in your ear " God you're making me h$@d", TMI anyone.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 83 (view)

One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women Posted: 7/6/2008 9:01:22 AM
[Sex from an ugly woman is like finding cheap cubic zirconiums. It's got some value but finding a replacement isn't going to be that hard. You can lose one of those for good and not be too miserable for too long.] [Sex is a commodity always, it's always valuable, but it's value is often relative to the situation presented.] This is too funny I had to stop myself and read twice, Christie Brinkley got cheated on, Shania Twain got cheated on, the thing is most men are so low class that they couldn't tell their own ***hole from their mouth, let alone tell the difference between cubic zirconium and a diamond. Congratulations on winning this distinction. Do I dispute that you have to be with someone you find attractive? No, but I do dispute that being beautiful keeps any man, a semi attractive woman who kept a man laughing and glowing through the whole freaking date will get the phone call. A bombshell who couldn't get a joke and sat looking pretty can give it up and the guy will move on with no qualms. Please don't compare external beauty to diamond, after all people in Africa work so hard to dig up diamonds that we have to make a good comparison, we should see that what is on the inside is the real diamond that we dig for and it's hard as hell to find no matter how beautiful the exterior is. So angry I didn't proofread the first time

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money Posted: 7/5/2008 8:20:56 AM
I used to only date for money until one day the cops busted in and told me that the correct term was prostitution... sigh it just hasn't been the same after that. Most people wouldn't mind dating a wealthy person gasp!!SURPRISE, the only concern is where it falls on everyone's lists. For some people old, wrinkly and wealthy is a good option, for others scumbag, cheater, and wealthy works fine, and for some young, handsome, charming and wealthy is the good choice. Now start knocking stuff off, old, wrinkly and poor is not an option, and young, handsome, charming and poor just sounds like you're still making out capeesh, now .

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 939 (view)

Should a woman buy a round of drinks? Posted: 7/1/2008 8:36:14 AM
Guys buy drinks for women at the bar ALL the time. What do we call them CHUMPS, a lot of times women go to the bar and they have boyfriends at home, a lot of girls I know will only take cab fare to the bar because they figure they can string some guy along all night long and make him pay for them. Sometimes they do a big reveal "I have a boyfriend sorry", at the end of the night. Sometimes they give a fake number and sometimes they give a real # and refuse to answer, what is that called, getting CHUMPED. Buying drinks for a girl hoping for sex is called soliciting prostitution and not getting sex is being CHUMPED!! Now if you are out on an official date and a girl never even thinks to offer, she is either broke or raised "old fashioned (gold digging whore is what we call it), she will expect you to pay for vacations, for dinner, for the rest of your time together, last time I checked this was a republic not a kingdom hence princesses do not exist. Save yourself a hassle, young guys ask a girl whether she is single before you start paying, and then she can't say you never asked. And if you see that on a drinks date, that a girl has no intention of picking up a round stop offering, say whew I'm done with the hard stuff for the night, and pay the bill. Anything she wants after that is on her ass.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 247 (view)

Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that? Posted: 6/24/2008 8:14:32 AM
Women love guys as friends because 1) They have the idea that guys are less petty and gossipy than girls 2) They know that probably won't go for the same guy you do, and even if they do the guy probably won't like them back. 3) They hope they'll tell them why their boyfriends broke up with them. 4) Sometimes they'll act like your boyfriend and pay for you. 5) Sometimes they'll act like your boyfriend and lie to you and say you look good. Men and girls as friends 1) Another girl who doesn't want to date them whoopee! NOT 2) Guys will probably have sex with any of their girlfriends, if it's offered, even if the attraction isn't strong. 3) Guys KNOW that girls are usually more dramatic than any of their guy friends. 4) When guys go to a bar with a girlfriend they feel obligated to take her home safely, even if a real prospect asked them home. 5) Most people really don't want to pay for someone who has no interest in them.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Confession Posted: 6/19/2008 7:18:34 PM
“ Hail Mary full of grace”…….., her hands fumbled clumsily over the beads, she looked down, trying to still them but she could not stop the violent tremble. Who could she tell? No one, she had lost the right months ago to call for help when it had begun. She looked around her, at her surroundings. The walls were dingy as if unloved themselves, the yellowed wallpaper peeled from them, the dancing pink bears mocking her in their pantomimed happiness. She saw the bed she knelt before, the sheets looked rumpled as if the last occupant was not long gone; she shuddered to think of the acts that had been performed on this bed. Thinking this she almost laughed, who was she to judge? After all she was no better that anyone, worse for what she had done. The dim lights of the room suited her mood; she could not bear to be bathed in light to look upon her own visage, to see what she had become. She tried again to find absolution, “Our father who art in heaven…., angrily she threw the rosary across the room, to beg to be forgiven, when she had known her sin, had planned her sin!! Her own audacity shocked her. She raised herself off her aching knees, and stumbled to the bathroom, the nausea almost overtook her, she buried her head in the toilet and heaved and heaved, the bile almost choking her, she barely noticed the roach that scurried across the ground, or the dirty ground she lay upon, all that mattered was the relief of letting it out. Minutes later, days later, it mattered not, as she stood she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, her clothing lay skewed, her brown hair clumped and sweaty against her face. She looked at herself, saw the self hatred but could not turn away. What beauty was left to be seen? Her blue eyes wide, bloodshot, her lips unpainted as always, she wished she had never existed. She did not have to close her eyes to see her shame; after all it was still fresh. She remembered him, the first moment she saw him, Father Olivier had arrived at the Church not yet 30, a young man whose charisma and physical beauty had filled the church pews to bursting with young women, there for the wrong reasons but nonetheless there. They tried to catch the man’s eye, but God had taken his heart. He was soft spoken, of Irish heritage, steel blue eyes that seemed at all times to know more than anyone had the nerve to say. His brown hair lay messily so that one would always desire to fix him, to brush the stray hairs so his eyes could be seen in their glory. Yes he was handsome, no denying it, but she was immune. Raised under the tutelage of the nuns, she had known since she was young that she would never leave the only family she had known, she would love God as they did, and live every day to better her so one day she would be pure and stand before him. But she forgot all this when she touched his hand. Her legs almost collapsed beneath her with the intensity of that feeling, she was thrown into a cloud of unbearable pleasure, mixed with fear, confusion and surprise. She had looked into his eyes and they were blank, but she knew that he had felt some of what she felt, if not why did his grip slip and his head draw back slightly? So she ran, swearing to avoid him unless when necessary. But every Wednesday and Saturday when he gave Mass she would stand in the shadows, watching him, her body warmed by the sight of him, her breasts tightened, she throbbed with the feeling she could not understand. She could not pray and she could not eat, for those eyes always appeared before her mocking her with her want, offering solace. Finally she could not sleep, she lay, tears sliding down her eyes at the desire, she was shamed because her desire to know God had never reached this height, in the quiet of the night she placed her hand where it hurt the most, hoping to stop it, to quiet it, only to feel it more intensely. She rubbed vigorously, her fingers slipping and sliding, her mouth open, the guilt already building she tried to force herself to stop, but the prospect of not finding what she sought was greater. Her back arching, the hot tears burning her cheeks, she gave in, and finally as the shudders turned into spasms she cried because she had never known and because she wished she had never discovered. The next day she looked at Olivier with new eyes, wondering whether he could bring her that feeling, wondering if he could make her feel better than she had felt. And although every night she prayed for God to make her no longer seek this sin, she found her hands could not stop exploring, and every night she discovered something new, and every night the guilt grew as the pleasure and the ecstasy arrived. It was inevitable, she saw it now, from the day she had given in that first time, this moment was inevitable. She was pulled back, and she saw again, the first time she caught him staring at her, without that kindly façade he reserved for parishioners. She had seen the hunger, the fire to match her own and again she ran. The others nuns wondered why She would not speak to Olivier, and why he steered clear of the beautiful young nun but they did not fuss, they did not see the danger, did not feel the fire that burned hotter everyday between them. It was he who sought her out, it was he who finally could not stand the ache, and she would have run forever if not for him! She cursed his name, cursed that she still could not see how she would not have arrived at this point. She could not see how they would not arrive at a motel much like this one and seek to put out the fire, the one that had burned every day for 10 months within her. Even now the places he had touched burned; the things they had discovered together lived within her. Unknowingly her hands strayed up to touch her lips. She finally closed her eyes; his lips had been so warm, so hot that they drowned out the voices that said there was still time to turn back. Knowingly she let her hand touch her stomach, she laughed bitterly, now it was too late to turn back. She would never go back, she still loved him, still loved him more than she had ever loved God and that was the true sin in her eyes. That from the first moment, the first look of steely blue, God had lost the battle. She wrestled with the ring on her finger, finally gasping with relief as it came off and she threw it in the sink, cringing at the loud clatter. She dropped to her knees suddenly, letting the jarring pain of the tile punish her, she was ready, she would not go back but this was her first step to a new beginning, for her and her growing child. Her hands clasped upon the cold sink, she gathered her courage. “My Father I have sinned………..”

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Angel of Mercy Posted: 6/19/2008 5:59:41 PM
The old woman sat in the rocking chair staring out the window her cheeks fairly unlined with age. Her beautiful brown skin shown in the sunlight, years ago she had been quite a looker and the evidence was still there, here was a woman who had not smoked, probably not drank. Click, click, click, her hands moved rapidly the needle colliding as those strong hands worked over, looped and around, I wondered what she was making this time, a blanket, an afghan, maybe a warm winter hat? “Come here girl”, she instructed as she always did, “let me see you”. I walked over and she ran her hands over my face as she did the first time we met. I had asked her what she was doing, and she had replied, “These eyes don’t work no more and these legs won’t carry me far, but these hands they ain’t never let me down yet”. She ran her hands over my face touching me gently, “child you worried, why you worried, you ain’t got no kids to worry about, you ain’t married, so why you worried”? “Mrs….. Sarah I quickly corrected, I’m supposed to take care of you not the other way around”. I remembered the first time I called her Mrs. Walker and she had sharply corrected me, “Sarah, I ain’t gonna be nothing but Sarah to you, I married and buried three husbands and I loved the first one every much as I loved the last one, so how it look me just going by Mrs. Walker, as if Earl Jenkins, and Robert Harper never existed, no nothing but Sarah to you”. Now I looked into her face and smiled, she was a mother still, always would be a mother but yes as much as I wanted to unburden my soul I knew that my plan was right, Sarah Jenkins Harper Walker deserved deliverance. I am an Angel of Mercy, I give peace to those who are too afraid to find it themselves, when a tired soul presents itself to me, I act to give them deliverance. Do you judge me, yes you judge me. Oh, what did you say? You speak of the law, yet the law has never helped a weary soul only helped those who did not deserve it, who should live with the pain they caused. You call me crazy and misguided? why should I listen to you, you who have never seen the right path, let alone have the courage to walk upon it. Yes I see the thorns and the brambles, yet I walk on, letting the cuts be my punishment, I grief them, I mourn their deaths but what was life to them but the harsh painful memories of what had passed? You still scoff at me, so I must justify my actions, to you the faithless, I must explain. So be it. Mrs. Sarah Jenkins Harper Walker, all three husband deceased, all five children deceased, no pets, no brothers or sisters. Place of Residence, St. Augustine Nursing Home. Current medical status: blind, in a wheelchair, mental faculties intact. Sarah, sits day after day knitting, knitting and relaying her memories of good times past. When the pain from remembering overcomes her she ceases to knit and merely sits staring at the empty space, the years suddenly dragging down her still beautiful face. Do you see? No you need more, more proof that I walk the path? So be it. Once I sat with Sarah, and she talked to me of a life well lived. “These hands, she began raising them up for me to examine them, these two hands cooked for three husbands, cleaned for five children and I ain’t never regretted one moment of it. Only thing I regretted is that they all gone you know, It ain’t right, a woman shouldn’t outlive her children, It ain’t right that every last one was taken early, God help me. Then she sat silently picked up her needles and began to knit again one hand crossing over the other. You see now, do you see? But beyond reasonable doubt, there is more. I asked her, I had to be sure the, path is hard sometimes, I had to be sure, “Is it hard to remember, Sarah, remember it all?” She looked in my direction and reached out and took my hand, “It’s hard, so very hard, but how could I ever give up the first time Earl took me on a date, to the lake and we ate till we bust and he smiled at me and said, I’ll marry you someday, you best know it now so ain’t no other men come courting. And when I gave birth to my first child James and it was so hard I swore I would never do it again, and then I gave birth to my fifth Laura (laughing) and she damn near shot out. So many days, and not all good, the day the house got broke into and they took mah good china and I was fitting to cry when Robert said to me, we always eat on the other ones anyway and I just laughed and laughed. Yeah it’s hard sometimes but ain’t no one here to remember but me and I ‘ll do it just fine until my time comes”. And I saw all the pain there in her face that I could not see in her eyes, her normally unlined face dragged down with sorrow and I knew that I must deliver her. Now judge, now, when you see it all judge me. Tonight I will do it, tonight when she lies upon her bed, I will come silently, and she will join her family and again be happy instead of being burdened by all those memories. Tonight. “Julianne, please don’t worry, Sarah said massaging my temples, you all I got in this place, you like my daughter you know, so I won’t allow you to get sick with worry, I love you”. Oh mother I love you too, don’t you see how the thorns cut me, how they prick my skin and make me bleed, don’t you see? Tonight, again I walk the path tonight.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 388 (view)

Teased for liking bbw's Posted: 6/19/2008 5:42:27 PM
There is a weight we all look at and say, that is too much, how could they let it get to that point? For some people that weight is less than others, so there. People often relate being larger to unhealthiness, it is true that obesity and carrying extra pounds is a good way to raise your risk factors for many diseases, it is also true that a skinny person may have unhealthy eating habits and use extremes to keep off the weight. Liking what you like is all right and yes the younger the crowd the less "cool" it is to like big chicks. But as long as your big chick lives healthy then stick with her, but if you're merely enabling someone to maintain habits that destroy their body for your own physical pleasure, then you are bad influence.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Fact and Fiction Posted: 6/13/2008 7:54:36 AM
“Mr. Frank, may I speak with you”? I looked up and she was there. She was so beautiful! How could a 17 year old be so damn beautiful? Her black hair curled softly against her shoulders, she wore a blue cable knit sweater that lay across her chest just right, and a white skirt which flared out right above her knees, she always wore skirts- and with legs like those, who wouldn’t. I fought back the urge to moan. I was uncomfortable just being alone with her, I was sure that this moment, these thoughts I had were trouble. “Mr. Frank, are you okay”? I looked up into her wide eyes green eyes, every time I looked into those eyes I was reminded of being 21, on a beach in Mexico, the smell of the ocean, the sound of the waves breaking against the shore. I so wanted to be back there, so full of a thousand what-ifs and to meet girl like her on the beach. There, where it would have been right and oh so perfect. Not here, not now, at forty three, where time had robbed me of almost everything but my looks. “Mr. Frank, I was hoping…..well I was hoping I could read a story to you. “Sure, I said intentionally misunderstanding, “leave it on my desk”. “No Mr. Frank, I want to…..can I please read it to you?” Those eyes, could you blame me? Stronger men than I would break under the gaze of this woman. And that was how I ended up sitting across from the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, wishing for things I had no right to wish for. “I didn’t know I was alive until I met him”, her voice caressed the words making them come to life. I almost smiled as she described me. Did my hair really fall just right? Did my voice really make her heart pound? Did my eyes really hold the key to her soul? I could see her talent, her way with words. Was I wrong to want to possess this, this innocence? Hadn’t I earned it, for all the bitter disappointments life had dealt me, to drink from this spring, to even for a moment, feel the freshness of youth? When she got to the encounter, yes of course the encounter, she was not pornographic, yes lips touched, clothes fell away, the perfect melody of two bodies, again that innocence of someone who had never experienced the hot sweatiness, the slight awkwardness and fumbling of a new lover. I saw it in my head, the two of us, her skirt pushed up around her waist, her firm breasts pressing against my chest, sitting on that desk, the one which put the barrier between us, separated teacher from student. To defile that innocence, I could teach her what the world had taught me, how pleasure and pain could be squeezed all into one moment. “And I knew that he saw me, saw everything I kept hidden away”. Did I see her? I looked at her, looked past today and saw her. She was that girl, she would go to college, so achingly beautiful, and finally give it up to some conquistador in a dorm room or a frat house or somewhere equally as unromantic. In this world she would learn that beauty and innocence didn’t survive together for long. Years down the road she would look back, confused as to where she lost it, that sense of wonder but not today, today she was mine and I was the center of her world. “Mr. Frank…. What do you think”? She was so close I could smell her, like warm cinnamon, that scent that often made me lean over her desk “checking” her work. What did I think? I thought about the bottle of tequila waiting unopened in my living room, I thought about the many faces that had passed me by, the many roads I hadn’t taken on my way to here and now. I could see clearly the picture of me and her on that desk, or on that beach in Mexico so long ago, the sea roaring in our ears, the sand creeping between our toes. It was so real for me, close enough to touch and I knew that for those green eyes, stronger men than me would have fallen. No Helen I thought, tonight Troy will stand for another day. “It needs work, go home”, I said finally, seeing those eyes fill with disappointment but she would get over it, I was sure of it. Yes, years from now, she might think back and wonder where it went wrong, how the years had disappeared with so much unfulfilled, but not today.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

The Truth is Posted: 6/11/2008 5:10:02 PM
The Truth is……….. “You wanna know the truth?” “The truth is……”he said it in that way people who are about to lie often say it, in a self deprecating manner and with false candor that said, “I tried to trick you, but now I see you’re too smart to fall for it”. With him it had started as small lies, lies that were meant to protect something he felt was still worth protecting. But over the past year, the truth had dwindled to a small grain, had become like one of those mixed drinks that are so much juice and so little alcohol that they go down easy but aren’t worth the effort. Yes, it had started small, one small**ail napkin hidden away in a pair of denim jeans. 10 little numbers written in a girly cursive that made my gut clench. It was one of those cheap napkins that you get at a seedy bar, exchanged when the lights have started to dim, the music slows down and the crowd thins. I sniffed it, a little curious, it smelled of his cologne and some perfume, evidence still fresh as if hands had clutched it, reluctant to let go, to separate. The confrontation was loud, I crowded his space, demanded answers and it began. “The Truth is……” Yes he went to the bar with some friends and had a good time after all, guys do that. And yes some girl, her name was vague, not worth remembering, had given him her number. He was reluctant to offend, intended to throw it away, but it was forgotten, how could I think anything else? Relief, waves and waves of relief, too much time put into a relationship makes a woman weak; too much time lost makes the voice of intuition a distant murmur. How could I not let myself feel relief? Then it was the panties, a pair of purple thong panties trimmed with lace panties forgotten under the bed. I was a Hanes girl myself. Thong panties only came out when there was no choice, when a panty line would not suffice. I knew the kind of girl who wore panties like this. She would have long, soft locks down her back, brown, blonde, black who cared? Her every move flirtatious, her laughter perfectly timed, she would make him feel like a king. What was I compared to a girl who wore purple thong panties? I used soft tones, oh yes, soft quiet tones, a serpent’s hiss to draw out the fool standing unawares in high grass. And there it was “The Truth is….” the truth was there had been a party, a small party, a couple of friends, and a lot of girls. And his ing friend Randy, randy Randy, bad joke but hey there was no better way to say it. Randy had taken a girl up there, some drunk chick and had banged her right in his bed. He showed me the sheets in his Laundry basket. Hell, we should fumigate the mattress too. (Nervous Laughter) What was I thinking anyway? And all I could see was those purple thong panties trimmed with lace. And yet I had met Randy, and there was no better way to say it. So the next day I let him……. ** me, screw me, bang me, a series of degenerations on that same bed and afterwards when he whispered I love you and held me close, I tried to let that fill my emptiness, the void that exists when trust is gone. So many lies lived inside these walls, so many things left unsaid. And now those brown eyes, so much love, three years of love held in those eyes. So many memories held in those eyes. Like a snapshot taken with an old camera, kind of fuzzy, but the laughter, the good times they were so sharp. And now behind my eyes, new pictures formed. Him kissing her over a cup of mocha whatever, a look that said first dates were long gone and familiarity had settled in. There was no explanation for that, he had made me desperate, made me feel less than I was, and made me love the love more than I loved myself. “No”, I said softly but firmly. “No”, as I prepared to tell my own lie. “The Truth is….I don’t love you anymore”. And as I watched it sink into those eyes, as I watched him really see me for the first time in a long time, I realized I meant it. I had told the truth and I meant it.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 46 (view)

new car vs old car Posted: 6/9/2008 9:04:10 PM
the car makes the man. That was what attracted me to my last boyfriend, his mercedes. Some cars make a man sexy, now personally I dont go in for trucks or motorcycles. I can be friends with those guys but just can't feel anything sexy towards them not even Hummers. Mercedes , BMW, and Jaquars get my attention. Not into guys who drive 2 seater sports cars either. I once had a guy ask me out that owned a new Corvette and his obsession with that car turned me off. ang 5

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

new car vs old car Posted: 6/9/2008 9:00:24 PM
Are you serious?, cars can be owned by anyone. serial killers, and cheaters can drive. Yes it is all right to admire a beautiful car, but to have a shared love of cars as a point of attraction but to have the car itself be the attraction, get over yourself. Maybe you should get your own money and buy a Mercedes instead of whoring yourself out to ride in one.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

women who overlook single guys for married, attached ones... Posted: 6/9/2008 7:40:43 PM
If a bag in on sale for 80% markdown and is a beautiful, beautiful bag women may buy it, but if the shelves are stocked full, they will wonder why no one else wants it, now if the bag is the last one because it is really popular women will grab it at full price. Since a woman married a man he must have desirable qualities, but the nice man still "sitting on the shelve" just might have a defect. Does it make sense sometimes,? Nope, but who are we to judge.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Younger guys,Can they be responsible to take on board my baby? Or are they just looking for 1 thing? Posted: 6/9/2008 7:34:07 PM
I don't want to sound to sound harsh, but I don't think nine months is a long time. Do you want your son growing up remembering multiple "Daddies", as he grows up. I would say wait, find friends first, and bring them into your life at first, and develop a solid emotional connection before physicalizing it. Then you will know someone is there to stay if they are willing to be with you and your son for a couple of months before anything else develops. Good luck it must be hard raising a child alone, but it is better than raising him around inappropriate people.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

Ladies, is a man with morals important to you? Posted: 6/9/2008 7:01:18 PM
Yes, everyone will say morals are important like no cheating, stealing, lying, but if a man compromises those morals in the protection of those he cared about that is alright in my book. I read a news story of a man who killed his daughter's rapist, and some people said, no matter what you cannot take the law into your own hands. But even while he was in jail, his wife stays she will stand by him because he did what he did out of love for his daughter not just hate for her rapist.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 158 (view)

What's really stopping you from having a successful relationship? Posted: 6/9/2008 6:56:48 PM
I am somewhat shallow in that I find that when I am talking to someone who sounds unintelligent and seems like they never went to school I feel a little superior. And the thing is it has nothing to do with educational level, I just find that even if someone is nice, if they spend all their time talking in slang or don't make grammatical sense, I kind of want to barf. I feel bad because I don't want to feel superior but sometimes I do. So I guess in that regard I have high standards, and they are not being met.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

I'm really just not interested.. Posted: 6/9/2008 6:43:22 PM
She's pregnant, She is going to give birth, it will hurt like hell, she will then have to deal with stretch marks and an attempt to return to her former size, while struggling with a job and a baby. Yes babies are usually considered a joy, but the real hassle comes after birth. So why not let her enjoy the fun of talking about her yet to be born child, the baby clothes she picked out, and the names she is thinking of naming her bundle of joy? Make this time for her happy, after all you don't have to suffer that physical pain.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Should i write the things I don't like about women? Posted: 6/9/2008 6:29:36 PM
If you say you don't like fat women, or lazy people, or gold diggers, you're setting yourself up for hate mail and assault. You may come off as a jerk and the worst thing that judgmental people hate is someone who is judgmental about something they aren't judgmental against. So keep it to yourself, good thing is that that way you may meet someone who misses one requirement but fits everything else so well that you don't mind. P.S. Even if you really have all the amazing qualities you may list, no woman really believes you when you list them yourself.

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 234 (view)

guys with lots of tattoos Posted: 6/9/2008 6:24:10 PM
Some tattoos are so tacky and have no point whatsoever, if someone had tattoos all over their body and they all meant something meaningful it wouldn't be a problem, but when people have "drunk" tattoos and just because I wanted another one" it looks stupid. Anyway as you get older the more tattoos you have usually is inversely related to attractiveness, pictures that sag .

Desdemona00

Joined: 6/6/2008

Msg: 72 (view)

Why do you need to swear? Posted: 6/9/2008 6:19:28 PM
I have a large vocabulary, but I think when you are around so much swearing you get used to it, sometimes I don't want to swear but it can add a bit of color to a story and get a laugh. And when I am angry the best way I feel, for getting across how angry I am is the sewer mouth. But I feel that if you are around someone who dislikes swearing , the thing to do is put your best food forward, you wouldn't smoke in someone's face if they said they disliked it would you?

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