26 y.o. left by wife / childhood sweetheart....advice? chat & forums.

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Thread: 26 y.o. left by wife / childhood sweetheart....advice?

Joined: 6/7/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

26 y.o. left by wife / childhood sweetheart....advice? Posted: 7/24/2008 4:24:41 PM
DO NOT take it personally. I know it feels mighty personal and much of who you are is tied up with her, since you met at such an early age and have been together so long. You have to understand this is NOT about you and who you are. It is probably a poor reflection on her character. If you don't personalize it, then you free yourself of self doubts and wondering what you did wrong, if she ever cared, etc. I feel for ya, dude. --J

Joined: 6/7/2008

Msg: 453 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 7/3/2008 3:33:11 PM
Nobody wants the drama. It just happens.

Joined: 6/7/2008

Msg: 448 (view)

Everybody feels Posted: 7/3/2008 2:05:09 PM
Papi, What you seem to be missing is that many of our ex BPDs did give us what we had been looking for all along...only to change after they had us roped in. Some changed gradually, some changed overnight, but one thing for sure is it happened after something in them KNOWS we would be powerless for a while to do anything about the way they are treating us. That's the truest form of injustice. That's why it takes such a long time to recover from emotionally, financially, etc. But I do agree that AFTER the relationship is over and the healing has begun, it doesn't serve us well to continue to whine about it without looking at our role in the dance...and eventually move on completely. --J

Joined: 6/7/2008

Msg: 782 (view)

Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist? Posted: 6/25/2008 9:30:00 AM
A TRUE Narcissist? You mean like one who would move us three times for her career at the sake of mine? One who would come home and tell me about her suicidal thoughts and constantly ask me why I loved her? One who would just up and leave our marriage to have an affair with her married-with-three-kids boss, steal $12K from our joint marital account, file for divorce AGAINST ME under cruel and inhuman treatment (when nothing could be further from the truth), then try to bankrupt me into submission to accept her grounds? Nope...never dated one...or even married one. --J

Joined: 6/7/2008

Msg: 391 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 6/24/2008 2:16:43 PM
"How do i accept there is no explanation to a BPDs malicious behaviour?" But there is an explanation: BPDs ARE MENTALLY ILL! All bets are off when it comes to making any sense of their actions, because they are mentally ill. All ideas you have of being treated a particular way don't exist because they are mentally ill. Therefore, there is no rhyme or reason to why they do what they do...other than...yup, they're mentally ill. I know. I was married to one, went through an ugly divorce with one. It took every last oz. of strength for me to make it through to the other side intact. It'll come, my friend. You just have to hold on for dear life, surround yourself with friends and family, and take each day as it comes. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sure the beginning with your ex was hotter and more amazing than any beginning you've ever had. I bet the fights were worse, too. I bet the fights quickly outnumbered the good times in short order, but you held on to things for the makeup sex and for the good times sprinkled in. I am sure she told you you were her everything in one breath, then said I hate you in the next. Read the books: 1) I Hate You Don't Leave Me; 2) Stop Walking on Eggshells. Soon the veil of mystery will come off and you will realize you were played by the best. It's their agenda. That's how they operate. Hang in there. --J

Joined: 6/7/2008

Msg: 679 (view)

would you date a stripper? Posted: 6/18/2008 5:27:22 PM
Nope! Never! I don't have the money. --J

Joined: 6/7/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

how can i get my ex back if its possible Posted: 6/18/2008 5:25:25 PM
Let her go, dude. There are Plenty of Fish...get it? If she's throwing her new bf in your face, she's a cruel, sick abusive person. You don't need that. Nobody does. Just thank your lucky stars you didn't marry her. --J

Joined: 6/7/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

No sympathy for breaking up over a married guy Posted: 6/15/2008 9:22:33 AM
Both parties will get crucified. The reason he's not getting it yet is he CAN'T tell anyone for fear it will get back to his wife.

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