Separated is not married.
It is. You're legally married.... but you're still legally married.

I want to be able to focus on the woman with as minimum distractions as possible. I don't know how the heck you do that in the middle of a divorce. I'm sorry, but you can say it is just "a piece of paper" over and over - however you're still haven't ended your old relationship yet because while you're still in the process of getting that divorced, and thus the ex is still going to be in your life if solely due to the court system.

From page 10 of the pdf - from the province where you live, no less (emphasis mine):

Separation agreements and court orders resolve family matters when you are separate but they do not legally end your marriage. The only way to do this is to get a divorce. Only a court can give you a divorce.

These people are no more married than you.

Let it be your kid, and your the one who catches the person in the process or the first one to find him afterwards and see what you do.

Well, if he's completely over with the wife, then why isn't he getting a divorce? Why is he just "separated"? AND still living with her? hmmm.

If someone is "separated", they are still married, plain and simple. He is probably looking for a hookup on the side or something. I would forget about him and find someone who is actually single.

So your saying that you would just say "thats ok, I'll let the courts handle it and see if they can get this one right." Unreal. If I sat on a jury where someone had killed/raped a child and the parents, family, friends, neighbors beat the person stupid, it would be "not guilty"

It is against the law in all 50 states to get married while married to someone else...yeah, I know news right?

but I know how long it takes to pick up the pieces after a divorce, particularly in a community property state like mine. So waiting for someone to complete a divorce and then complete the recovery process is not that great of an option. It wouldn't be waiting 6 months, it would be waiting 3-4 years before it's even an option.

That's assuming that the divorce is actually moving forward. After reading some of these boards, it seems that some people are content to remain separated forever and never go through with the divorce even though they claim the marriage has been ended for years.

This quote I made -- no, they are different situations, but let me make myself clear... it's the chances of it being a stupid idea that are the same.

Again, point is, they're equally stupid to walk into.

But if you're LIVING WITH your wife who's a soon-to-be-official-ex, you can't expect ANYONE to assume there are no romantic ties. COME. ON.

What I don't get is why if a person chooses not to get involved with someone who is seperated all of a sudden they become the bad guy?

Even when ex's don't live together, they sometimes still hook up for sex after picking up or dropping the kids off....

Trust me he is still doing his wife, telling her they're trying to work it out, sleeping in the same bed every night.

But if you're LIVING WITH your wife who's a soon-to-be-official-ex, you can't expect ANYONE to assume there are no romantic ties. COME. ON.

Look who said "ALL THE ANSWERS". :) So for someone making an absolute statement, you retort by making an even greater one, then say....

But let me make myself more clear. When they come across that their situation is just fine and pretty normal and "oh yes" they're ready for a relationship, etc. -- that is where I place the absolutism of SOME form of exaggeration, conscious or otherwise.

As far as one ABSOLUTELY NOT chase some new stranger who's separated & living with their wife/husband with a near-future relationship in mind? Are you kidding me? That is not too far off from that someone else being someone you've known for years but who's also married with content but wants a side relationship.

The OP did, in post #28. You're not alone. I'm a bit surprised at how many have missed it.

If a man is so casual about having sex with a woman and trying to hit on another at the same time

Good job! Both of you women deserve better. That does suck when a guy leads you on like you are connecting and you find out he is a player. What happened to monogomy? Do men feel they have to have multiple women going at one time? GEEZ!!

It is a better idea to avoid newly separated and divorced people in general.

most womens responses were: "you are still not emotionally detached."

Since I sometimes like to play devil's advocate.....

They hadn't dated, hadn't even met

(By the way, you never said who you would buy the car from ...)

edit: And by the way, which of these lovely people/scenarios would you strike up a relationship:

Ok, let's say that a woman came up to you and said, "I just left my husband ... the two of us just finished having sex a half an hour ago. However, I've left him and I'm not going back - let's you and me start a relationship!" You going to start a relationship with her? (Hey, she's separated Casanova ...)

And I didn't touch on the fact that the woman could be in a loveless marriage. Does that mean you have no problems having a relationship with a married woman if she is in a loveless marriage?

Enough to where the marriage is over legally - thus the relationship is over. I can go on-line or to a courthouse and look it up to guarantee that it happened. That is one heck of a big step.

However, the thing is that they are being honest about their status doesn't mean about everything else in their life.

But the thing about separated people is that they can always look you in the eye and say, "Hey, it's over - I'm going back to my spouse," and you know, they're not lying and they're well within their right (and obligations) to do so since they are not divorced; they are still married. That's the key.

I agree ... dating anyone has inherit risks. That's why it is just smart to keep the risks to a minimum. When she/he has the divorce decree, it is cutting down on the risks.

NotElvisJunior wrote:

Not really. Crazy is crazy no matter how you slice it and it's not gender discriminant.

I think I was around 18 when this happened. I was engaging in some particularly vigorous bouncy-bouncy, when my lady friend over-extended her lunge, and slid off my ****-bat. Said ****-bat then came to rest in the little concave pit between her crotch and thigh, and she brought her full weight back down on it before I could react.

I jackknifed. If you don't know what jackknifing is, pray you never find out. There was a sound, almost like bone breaking, and my world became a searing, screaming onslaught of never before matched agony. I'd rather endure vivisection at the hands of cruel Unit 731 doctors than go through that again. I'd rather let Josef Mengele go wild on my insides, sans anaesthesis. Even years later, I still have a very slight curve to the side, and a thickening in the middle of my shaft as a result.

Harsh crowd here. If this were a man writing the post, there would be all kinds of outrage if he was with was so insensitive.

The ones to avoid are the ones who expect the world to do the adjusting to them.

An acquaintance who had a degree in psychology once told me that you shouldn’t allow yourself to fall in love with someone until you had known them for at least 4 months, because that is as long as a person can “act” nice.

Disclaimer: I am not a psychiatrist, nor do I play one on TV.

I like big bewbs

However I was on the pill and I didn't tell him.Because he was intentionally trying to get me pregnant.

futureshock wrote:
IOW, she's comfortable taking away his self-determination, and she knows what he "needs", more than he does.

The National Campaign study found that many single women, when they allow themselves to be completely honest, aren’t thinking pregnancy would be the end of the world. "Even though my boyfriend says he doesn’t want kids, I know he does," says Holly, 21, who took part in the National Campaign focus groups. In fact, the organization’s research has found that nearly one in four pregnancies is considered intentional by the woman but not by the man.

high-waisted pants...

Are men not in control of their own sperm??? I don't understand why men should take any less precautions then a woman to protect themselves from an unwanted pregnancy. If a man blindly believes a woman that she is taking bc he's playing with fire.

A man's hard earned money? What about a woman's hard earned money? FS come on women work just as hard as men do. When I was working in vancouver I'd work 60 hour weeks. While some of our work might not be labor intensified as my ex pointed out to me on numerous occasions (not real work) I was still the one buying his steaks.

Most sane men are in control of their sperm but how many times here do we have to read about how a woman was duped into letting the man not wear a condom?

Ive actually seen a young seven month pregnant girl post her profile here,complete with a picture of her enormous stomach! I might sound crazy but there's no way I could date a pregnant woman but I could be friends with one.About a month a ago,I took my pregnant neighbour out to a night club(something about the baby liking rock music),guys after guys hit on her even though she looked as big as a house! Its a crazy world we live in.

but you could possibly have a dinner wh*re on your hands!

I know I read a post somewhere from a woman whose friend was advocating the dates for dinners (dinner whore) idea.