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ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Looking for help with profile and pics Posted: 5/3/2008 11:52:27 AM
Change asssured to assured. Change filet to fillet. I'd consider rewriting the about you section to read as though you're talking to the woman rather than about her. I'd drop the try anything once, think drugs, suicide... besides the meaning is clear without it. But most of all, she connects with and enjoys being with me. This makes you look a bit needy. You use I a bit too much in the about me section. It's hard to avoid, but if you can cut out a few of them it will read better. I'd drop some of the mail restrictions too. They add little and clutter the profile. If you get hassled by married, drug-crazed men from Tuvalu who are set on a steamy encounter then you can always put them back. Good luck with your search.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 23 (view)

A chance for everyone whose profile I reviewed to get back at me. Posted: 4/30/2008 2:57:05 PM
I'm impressed that your English is so good as you're not a native speaker. Change 'McDonalds' to 'McDonald's'. Change 'irate 22-year old' to 'the irate 22-year-old'. Good profile.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

Advice from the guys (or girls)!!! lol Posted: 4/29/2008 3:32:40 PM
Better yes, but you still need a few spaces in there. After each ... there should be a space. Change girl(in to girl (in Also, a big list of contact restrictions can put people off. Maybe if you want to keep the 75 mile rule you can drop the United States bit as it's already covered.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Advice from the guys (or girls)!!! lol Posted: 4/29/2008 1:54:53 PM
Don't touch your main picture! It's fantastic!

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Advice from the guys (or girls)!!! lol Posted: 4/28/2008 4:29:53 PM
Too many instances of lol. I think it looks tacky in a profile, but it's fine on the forums. Same with (J/K), it looks out of place. Same goes for the smiley. Change your interests until they all show blue. Each ellipsis should have a space after it. Insert a space between girl and the open parenthesis. Change 1 to one. Change 2 to two. Change I-pod to iPod. Change brothera to brothers. Remove the picture of you with the guy, even if it's your brother. I'd get rid of the heavily cropped one too. Now for the good stuff. Gorgeous main picture! You seem like someone who really knows how to live life to the full and you write pretty well too. Good luck in your search.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

Just a quick newbie question here. Posted: 4/28/2008 3:06:42 PM
I still think cow tipping is best left out. Of course I don't seriously think she was going to go out being cruel to animals, in fact I really liked the girl's profile and I said so! But, it doesn't take much to sew the seeds of doubt in someone's mind and a committed animal lover who reads that could well think twice, not because they think Rachel is cruel but because she could put something like that on her profile without hesitation. It could easily be seen as thoughtless. There's plenty of funny side in the profile without being blasé about animal cruelty.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Just a quick newbie question here. Posted: 4/25/2008 11:05:53 PM
I like long profiles, but lots of people don't so it's worth thinking about each item you include. I'm Rachel. Lots of people start like this. But what does your name matter? It's quite nice when people use their name in first email, but putting it on your profile is pointless. Noone will contact you because of your first name. I'm 21 years old. We know. It says at the top of the profile. In fact, we probably searched on that criterion. Put a space between 'today.' and 'You'll'. An ellipsis should have three dots, not two. You mention Vancouver Canucks and cooking in both interests and your main section. That's not necessarily bad, but it might be worth removing one or the other to trim down the profile. Cow-tipping makes you sound cruel. A well written profile overall and if you were close to me then I'd contact you. Good work!

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Photo advice Posted: 2/25/2008 3:38:48 PM
Change treeroot to tree root. Change cd to CD. Change Man. Utd. to Manchester United. Change descrbe to describe. Change cds to CDs. I really wouldn't worry too much about the photographs, just change them every now and then, that has worked for me in the past. I'm sure you realise that the way your profile is written will scare off a great many men, indeed that is a good thing, as they aren't the men you're after anyway. Finally, please do get in touch with me. Obviously not to date but I think we could be pen pals.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

A review please. Posted: 2/25/2008 12:14:28 PM
Pictures, make the last pic your main one. it's so much nicer. To get quality responses you need to have a well-written profile. Yours isn't bad but it's not got anything to make it stand out. Read the profile tips and have another go. Try not to be negative at all. I was sceptical of that advice at first but after having done a load of these reviews I know it can make a huge difference. Good luck.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 23 (view)

Not getting anywhere..... Posted: 2/21/2008 4:07:55 PM
Ellipses should have three dots, not five. Remove the dashes before some of the paragraphs. Use an apostrophe when it's is short for it is. Don't use one when pluralising genre. Don't use a capital letter for dictionary. You use "quotation marks" too much. And why did you use bold on awkward? You have listed way too many interests, which dilute their effect. Pick about half of those and they'll have much more effect. See the way I've written this post with one sentence then a gap? That's because I was in a rush and wanted to make points quickly and move on. I think your profile shouldn't portray that sort of image. Use full paragraphs and show off your intellect a little. Good luck.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

This is not what I want, can I have a profile review please Posted: 2/21/2008 3:55:18 PM
Too many sentences starting with I. Too many interests listed. Ditch or rephrase anything not in blue. No profession listed. If you're unemployed then just be honest and say so. Too negative. Tell us what you want, not what you don't. Smileys in a profile are annoying. Change whaz to what's. I laugh easily and enjoys someone with humor. Mixed tenses. Not a bad profile though. Plenty of good stuff in there.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Something is wrong with profile! HELP Posted: 2/21/2008 3:47:19 PM
Needs spell-checking. Copy and paste it into a word processor and see what goes red.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Updating profile Posted: 2/15/2008 4:15:37 PM
You have lots of listed interests. I think it's okay, but don't add any more or it'll be too diluted. Your headings are an interesting idea but I think it looks too much like you're trying to justify them. I'd lose them. Too many sentences starting with I. It's hard to avoid but do your best. A well written profile in general. A few sentences that don't make sense though. After that things get a bit more open and it matters on the comfort level of both parties. Did you mean depends upon? Nothing too expensive or extravagant until we both decide if it we think there is a chance. You can sort that out, I'm sure. Museums are great places to talk and yet you are doing something that allowed both of us to learn about each other. You mixed your tenses there. Weekend festivals are also fun and can enjoy a wide variety of music and street shows and also start to learn about each other. Who can? Put a 'we' in there. The first date isn’t about where it is about what is possible to me. Huh?? Good luck!

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

profile review....pls Posted: 2/15/2008 3:51:52 PM
Clean up the punctuation. It's correct in places so I think you can do it without my help. One thing you do wrong throughout though is not leaving a space after a comma or period. Change u to you and b to be and 2 to two. That sort of thing looks silly unless you're 12 years old. In fact, even then, it's too widespread now to be cute. Consider changing your main picture to number 3. Those sunglasses hide you too much. Good luck.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

honest answer on profile please Posted: 2/15/2008 3:42:33 PM
Too many sentences that start with I. Use a capital letter for educator. I like the bookcase picture. I don't like the smileys. They look tacky on profiles. Put down a few of your interests in the interests section. noone will expect that what you put is all you care about, but it gives useful conversation hooks. You need a space between the comma and non-smoker.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Your critique...please Posted: 2/10/2008 11:36:49 AM
I think you need to add more in general. Not enough to work with here. You clearly realise that most guys will judge mostly on the photo and I expect you then rely on your own judgement of their profile to determine whether you're actually compatible. I can understand that but there are some of us that look a little bit deeper, and to be honest they're not likely to contact you as you just haven't given them anything to work with. Your profile will attract only people who go for gorgeous pictures, there's no denying that you are gorgeous, but show us a little about you. Speaking of pictures, your main picture is fantastic, but doesn't work as a thumbnail. Swop it for one of the face pictures, I'd go with the colour one.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Do Me! Right Now! Posted: 2/10/2008 11:25:51 AM
I have to agree with the point about the picture with another man in. In fact it's completely unclear what you're looking for. Usually if someone has a picture of them with a member of the opposite sex and Hang out in the For section then people will read it as you're only after friends. I like lists, but not for the whole profile. Especially if you're a writer. Good luck

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 76 (view)

Why are women so protective about their 'number' (of sexual partners)? Posted: 11/27/2007 1:10:38 PM
Someone asked who cares? Well I think it's quite clear that a lot of people do. Look at the responses on this thread! In terms of it being in the past, well of course it is. Those experiences have shaped who she is for good and bad. I wouldn't think any less of a girl who said 200 than a girl who said 2, but that doesn't mean I don't care. I care about everything that makes her who she is. If the number is high I'd expect her to be more open about sex, if it was low then I'd expect her to be more conservative. But even that doesn't necessarily follow, I realise that, so it forms only part of my impression of her. I recently met a girl who had a high number and she was also VERY evasive. This made me a bit suspicious. It led to a conversation where I learned the context of that number and it gave me a great deal of insight into the way she saw life. Interestingly, she asked me outright first. Then got evasive when I returned the question. I also met a girl with a low number who considered her low number to be a high number. That also gave me insight into her character and also meant that there was no way I was going to let myself come across as at all pushy (not that I have a habit of doing so anyway). In summary, her number won't change whether I want to date her or not, but it may affect how I go about it, at least until I know more about her. What I'm really interested in is not what she tells me, but how and how honestly. But then perhaps that's just me.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 32 (view)

Why are women so protective about their 'number' (of sexual partners)? Posted: 11/26/2007 11:44:07 AM
It's a question I always ask. I've heard low numbers and high numbers. There is no number that I 'want' to hear, but I do like to get a feel for her past in as many ways as possible. Would a high or low number make me think differently of her? Well maybe... but I'm only thinking in terms of things that don't ring true. If a girl who gave a high number started talking in a way that suggested she was very idealistic about sex then I'd start to feel very uncomfortable. Similarly, a low number from a very pragmatic girl would sound warning bells. As for it's no-one's business, that's true until 1) You discover that they don't mind talking about it. 2) you're both considering sleeping with each other or starting a relationship. If she was defensive about it, I'd be wondering why. nIf she flatly refused to tell me I wouldn't pursue a relationship.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 26 (view)

A lot looking, not many contacting Posted: 10/30/2007 6:17:45 PM
To set things blue, just pick something othersa will have picked. Seperate the things you put together and I bet they'll go blue.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

A lot looking, not many contacting Posted: 10/30/2007 4:47:55 PM
Hi, I read the bit about you bruising easily so I'll try to be nice rather than brutal. Firstly, try to imagine someone not contacting you because you have a well written profile with no spelling mistakes. Can you picture it? I can't. I'm known for being a little pedantic, but it helps on here. Firstly you need a space after each period. I know that in the States you can put the period inside the bracket but make sure you have a space after you close the bracket. Take the capital from Heck. Change womens to women's. Change tournement to tournament. Drop the capital N in Nation. Ok should be okay or OK. Change tourment to tournament. Change alot to a lot. Change dont' to don't. Change sensitve to sensitive. Names of games should have a capital letter only if they're trade names. So Scategories is fine but Pool is wrong. I'd ditch the smiley too. It's tacky in a profile. Fine on the forum. Change your interests until they all show in blue. That way people can search for them. Drop picture 3 as it doesn't do you justice (you're very attractive judging by the other pictures. Good luck.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Alright, whats wrong with it... Posted: 10/24/2007 1:36:59 PM
I love your main picture. I normally tell people it should be a full face pic, but that pic is awesome! I still think your name is irrelevant on a dating profile. Although not the cat's name, that's endearing. Take the capitals out of The Aquarium and Zoo. Then move to England and get in touch as you are one foxy chick!

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

Alright, whats wrong with it... Posted: 10/23/2007 3:59:22 PM
Well thank you. It's nice to have someone show due gratitude. ;P I'm not a professor tough, just a former teacher. I drive people insane at work when I circle mistakes. The trouble is I seem to keep having my attention called back to them until I acknowledge them. It doesn't stop me making mistakes of my own of course....

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Need a little help. Posted: 10/23/2007 3:41:47 PM
I don't think you need that much help. it's looking good. You do need to spell check it though. There are about 10 mistakes that I noticed reading through it quickly. Copy and paste into a word processing package like Word, and use the spell check facility. Good luck!

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

-----------Opinions Wanted------------- Posted: 10/23/2007 3:33:26 PM
Why on earth not???? Just because 3,000 other people havent thought to list them doesnt mean there isnt ONE special guy that has a special interest that matches hers to a T! Ah, that's because by not having things not in blue it makes it look neater, it also helps people avoid putting down things which aren't interests and also might encourage someone to rewrite something into a form that would appear on a search. I bet Anime and Manga would both go blue and I think people might search for them. Having a particular game on there is taking it away from interests and into details. I hope this answers your question and I strongly stand by my recommendation.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

advice!? Posted: 10/23/2007 3:13:58 PM
Yes, I too think that this is a joke profile. Therefore, I won't point out the grammar but will instead suggest that you hit Photoshop with your main picture and put in some Nazgûl eyes. That would be so cool!

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

-----------Opinions Wanted------------- Posted: 10/23/2007 3:05:55 PM
Well, you've broken many of the rules that I'd normally string you up for... but I can't as you've done it with so much style. So how can I improve it without breaking it? Periods at the end of the mini-sentences and awhile in the first date section should be two words, a while. Also, don't list interests that don't turn blue. It's a rule you really shouldn't break. Well done!

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

check out italianbpy Posted: 10/23/2007 2:58:11 PM
You need to find the shift key. Capital letters are not just for your name. Then think about paragraphs. Each little topic gets its own. Please don't be offended but so few people on here write well and it's such a shame as it makes a huge difference. Good luck.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

Is my profile too long? Posted: 10/23/2007 2:52:30 PM
I don't think your profile is too long. In the first date section you have a question but no question mark. I also dislike smileys but other people aren't so damning. But don't add any more at the very least. Cuddling as an interest is icky.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Alright, whats wrong with it... Posted: 10/23/2007 10:51:23 AM
First off, drop your main picture. Don't just switch it, delete it. Same with picture 4. I'd use either the eyes shot or the 3rd or the 6th one. But all of them are gorgeous apart from the two bad ones. I'll be pedantic and say that the bands you mention aren't interests, but I am being picky. I'd add rock music or something. Music is classical, I get the impression that might be you too, if so keep it (or better still, state that). Ello makes you sound a bit strange. Ditch it. I don't agree with having a short profile but I do think that every word should count. Your name will not attract anyone, it might put people off if they had a bad experience with someone of the same name. Silly, but that's how it is. So here goes... [pointless] I'm a 20 year old soft hearted rocker! [repeats information we already have]. My life consists of music, family and friends! [Well, okay... but consider the message... I'm already very busy and you might have to squeeze in for some of my time. Consider revising this]. some what [change to somewhat]. love people [change to I love people - although I tend to wonder what the alternative is... I mean, how does one reply? "Personally I prefer llamas". Also consider the show, don't tell, principle. Try to come across as a soft hearted and personable kind of girl without stating it as such]. I like to go out and have fun.. [See above. "Oh, I hate having fun, this girl might not be for me!"] weither [whether] I can find humor in almost anything. [Good, but try to show, not tell. I'd leave this in though]. It takes the smallest thing to amuse me or make me happy and the tiniest thing to make me laugh. [This made me laugh and I assume it was deliberate! If you're not sure what I mean then reread it with the perspective of a guy thinking of contacting you]. I have a soft spot for animals and children.. And a weakness for guys with long hair and gentle hearts. [Good, but add a dot to the ellipsis (...)]. Music is a HUGE part of my life, its all about ROCK AND OR ROLL! I love it! [If it's true then leave it in, but understand that you're putting off guys who aren't particularly musical. Also shouldn't it be AND/OR?] someone that can make me feel good about being me! [Ouch... you were coming across as confident and now you've just gone all needy. Revise it]. Someone kind hearted and caring. Who works hard for what they want and has a goal in life. [Make these into sentences. It's all too rare for girls on here to be able to write so it makes you stand out if you can. Also, has a goal in life? It's a bit vague. Tell us a bit more]. First date - here's your chance to allow a man to visualise how a date with you might go. Set the scene a little. You're not committing yourself here, just presenting an idea or two. Well this might seem like a total profile destruction... so just to put it in context I think you're very attractive and it's clear you can write well if you have the urge. You look very datable and I think you'll get loads of interest. Polish it a little and the interest will be of a better quality. Best luck!

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

Apart from pics what else Posted: 8/31/2007 2:43:18 AM
How about 'Unemployed'? Or maybe 'Job seeker'? People will appreciate honesty far more than any attempt to cover over any issue.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Am i just generaly repulsive or am i just doing something wrong? Posted: 8/31/2007 2:37:55 AM
Generally when someone asks if it's their picture that's the problem, it usually is. It's hard to fix then. Fortunately for you that is not the case. Chunky love eh? Does this mean you're fat or that you only want fat women or that you throw up most nights after a few too many? Your profession section makes you look like you make excuses for everything and have no intention of getting yourself into employment etc. But wait - later on you go on to say that you work full time. Which is it? Don't get defensive, if you're CISCO qualified you can't be an idle man. I realise that; but not everyone will. In fact that profession response will make most decent women go to the next profile. What are frestivals? Capitalise gigs. The bit about me right?? Ok, well here goes:- This is pointless. Your profile is long. I like long profiles, but not when it's all padding. Well done for losing the weight but if it's gone then why talk about it. Leave the 'I'm losing weight' stuff to the fat blokes like me. Been single for a couple of years and been happy like that but times have changed. This reads as desperation. If you're so fond of cats add them as an interest so cat lovers can search for you. I've moved back home with my parents after I lost my home in my last relationship and am hoping to buy another house sometime this year (job dependant of course)? What does this achieve? It all sounds very negative. Copy and paste the whole lot into a word processing package and spell check. Check your capitalisation throughout. Ellipses should only have three dots. Get rid of all the negative stuff, just say what you like instead of what you don't. I'm really looking for someone to date with the view to long term. I dont really need more friends so if that's what your looking for please move on. I'm not a player & expect to be treated fairly. I'm not into messing girls around so if you do get in touch please consider that i'm looking at getting involved for the duration not a Month, 3months or a year. I'm not hung up on past relationships but i dont want to be a part of the "it's not you, it's me" syndrome which seems to kick in. It's good to see that past hurts haven't made you bitter. Oh and finaly, replies only go to those with pics and even then, only if i think we'll click. You've seen me, i'd like to see you........ nothing to hide have you?? I agree with the sentiment about pictures, but you've just told any girl that's thinking of contacting you that you're likely to completely ignore her if you don't like her profile! Is a quick note to say thanks for showing an interest too much to ask? By your own admission you're not fighting them off with a stick are you? Don't put your MSN address on a profile. It's not allowed and is a good way to move things along after people have contacted you. Good luck!

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

going to try the review one more try Posted: 8/30/2007 2:23:42 PM
Get rid of the smileys, sort out the spacing and add a space after the ellipsis. Not a bad profile though. I think you know that you need a close-up picture.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Updated profile, have a look Posted: 8/30/2007 2:10:03 PM
Much better. There are a few i to I changes that you missed though.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Please review my profile. Appreciate your help :.) Posted: 8/30/2007 2:06:52 PM
Read the profile writing tips and write a profile accordingly. I'm a fan of long profiles, but yours is too short by anyone's measure. Good luck.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Is there something wrong with me? Posted: 8/30/2007 1:48:30 PM
As stated before, break down the text. Stating you're not a big bar person is perhaps a little clumsy if, like me, you're a bit on the chunky side. Don't use words that bring attention to your size. You've told the truth about it, but don't keep pulling them back to it. I don't like being around drunks either, but try to put everything in a positive frame. I use LOL on MSN all the time, but i think it's a little tacky in a profile. I use smile instead. When challenged as to how that is less tacky I have no good answer, but I still think it is. Goof ball needs a double l. An ellipsis is made up of three dots, not two. Change peaked to piqued. Good luck!

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Apart from pics what else Posted: 8/30/2007 1:29:12 PM
I have to reiterate what someone said earlier as you seem to have ignored his good advice. Read the profile writing threads pinned to the top of this forum section. There is a well-used format which I think is hard to beat. Once you've done that then update your profile accordingly. Your profile is far from the worst I've seen, but British women in particular seem so lazy when they write their profiles. Looking for a mate is one of the most important things you'll ever do, so write a great profile! Use the normal format, be positive about everything (even if, like me, you're a bit of a cynic in real life). Make sure everything reads properly and capitalisation is correct and consistent. Good luck!

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Updated profile, have a look Posted: 8/30/2007 1:17:35 PM
Capitalise camping in the interests section, reconsider whether doing random things is an interest. If you leave it in then capitalise. Go carts in the rain needs removing as it isn't showing blue. Why not just go carts instead? Do you wait until it rains before you go carting?

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 821 (view)

Favorite Quotes Posted: 8/12/2007 12:29:53 PM
Your defects must be inherited. No one could possibly learn the colossal stupidity you have shown - Ammon, Dune 2

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Need An Honest View Of my Profile? Posted: 8/5/2007 4:59:01 AM
Starbucks is one word. Change A movie to or a movie.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

review plz ladies oppinions Posted: 8/5/2007 4:57:00 AM
Copy this into a word processing package and spell check. Don't use text speak on a profile. In fact, don't use text speak.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

would like some feed back on my profile please Posted: 8/5/2007 4:52:58 AM
Change Im to I'm. Change tuesday to Tuesday. Change i to I. Change ur to my. Change doesnt to doesn't. Change specail to special. Change i to I. Change your not interested to you're not interested. Add a period before Thanks. First date: Change per say to per se. Change i to I. Add a comma after wine. Change long to along. Change knws to knows. Change .......... to .... That's an ellipsis followed by a period. Good luck.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Profile Review Time Posted: 8/5/2007 4:26:01 AM
Change 'Yard sales, auctions, flea markets, are just some of the things I find fun to do.' to 'Yard sales, auctions and flea markets are just some of the things I find fun to do.' Also that isn't clear. Do you mean visiting them or running them? Ken and Barbie are names, give them capital letters.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Have at it! Posted: 7/29/2007 12:44:25 AM
It's looking much better. Well done.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

What in God's name is wrong with my profile? Posted: 7/29/2007 12:40:29 AM
You generally write well, but then have this inserted for no apparent reason. well if u've got this far u can read 4 urself! Makes you look like a 12 year old girl trying to be cute. Get rid of it!

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

my profile is dead need help.. Posted: 7/29/2007 12:28:53 AM
Remove the capital letters from Two, Iron, Working (twice), Please and Email. there all female - change to they're all female Change pass to passed. Change Thing's to Things. Change thou to those. Intertests - separate swimming and diving and they'll go blue and people can search for them. Change Training Border collie until it goes blue. Dog training probably will. Your first date section makes no sense. Rewrite. Good luck.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Please review... Posted: 7/28/2007 2:34:51 PM
Your profession isn't a profession, it's an employer. Tell us what you do. Other religion sounds ominous. Elaborate, just a little. 24 favourites isn't doing badly. I think your expectations are too high. And as for read-delete, some people are just rude and won't reply to say thanks for your interest. Strangely I noticed a big difference when I moved areas. In Northern England girls reply and say thanks, but I'm not interested. Down South they don't bother.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

hello my name is Bry..... Posted: 7/28/2007 1:08:18 PM
This is the first time I've seen a profile review request longer than the profile. Why are you being evasive about your job? If you're a student then put that there. Get rid of the phantom capital letters too. (Kind, Appreciative, Sincere and Truthful, these capital letters are not necessary!) Don't say wanna. it makes you look 12. Flesh it out and check the spelling. Good luck.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

You are locked and loaded...so give me both barrels and tell me what you think of my profile!! Posted: 7/28/2007 1:03:04 PM
I liked it. I don't normally say that about jokey profiles. I don't think a serious profile would suit you though. Put something in the profession box, people will always assume the worst else.

ElseMush

Joined: 8/27/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

please ladies help me what i am doing wrong? Posted: 7/28/2007 1:00:10 PM
You make it sound like you think you're boring. You can't play that card until they find you interesting. Make it look like every word has had to fight for space on your profile. The word I is always capitalised.

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