Confused by my hormones - having sex with boyfriend for first time chat & forums.

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Thread: Confused by my hormones - having sex with boyfriend for first time

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Confused by my hormones - having sex with boyfriend for first time Posted: 11/19/2009 5:15:12 PM
My guess is that you have feelings of attraction for the man, but have feelings of hesitancy for another reason. You need to be honest with yourself and find out why. Something is happening that is giving you feelings of fear wait until you are in control of your fears and are insync. Your period may be irregular because you are losing weight you need to have a back up to the condom. Condoms break plus since you are a virgin you will need to have someone that you feel really comfortable and safe with.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Should I continue? Posted: 11/19/2009 5:04:22 PM
Okay heres the deal in my opinion your a lovely person, she likes you, your profile is wonderful, but she is looking for someone with the same spiritual values and mores. So here it is can you be freinds? If not it is best to move on to someone that is from your camp. Opposites can attract but spirituality is a lifestyle.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

Complicated Girl Question Posted: 11/19/2009 4:52:49 PM
If you have seen her 3 times in two months it sounds like you would like more contact. If you are the reason that you two are not getting together more frequently and just want to keep texting because you don't really have time, but you don't want to give up then she is probably put off. If it is her that does not have time then she is probably wanting to keep it simple and freindly, but you are pressing ...... she is not responding because she does not want to. sorry man you are a cute guy move on.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 133 (view)

What is the best way to handle it if a date passes gas? Posted: 11/19/2009 4:22:30 PM
I am with English Lass ask if he wants to go for a walk. Gas can be a sign of nervousness, I would have offered him some natural enzymes and told him to feel free to use the bathroom. lol No not really but if I was being completely honest and if it was a good freind of mine I would have. Gas is part of life passing through it easily is part of good maintenance.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 105 (view)

aging moustache Posted: 11/19/2009 4:15:01 PM
Well if you don't like the grey I would cut it off . Coloring grey ends up looking a little fake and it is easy to spot right in front of your lips. I like lips it is one of the things that appeals to me . If a person has nice lips then when they talk the mouth moves very sensously to have a moustach with a greenish yellow cast in front of that is hmmm not so attractive.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

Secrets Posted: 11/19/2009 4:07:44 PM
Life is a process so I am truly hoping someone has learned to move from point a to b with compassion and insight. So I don't really ask people secrets they usually tell me everything right away anyway. As far as secrets I have well I don't really feel that I have any secrets to hide or share to tell you the truth. It is what it is and was what it was. As far as someone asking me pointed questions about my past well what for ? If we can not get along in the present their is certainly no point in worrying about the past. I do not feel a need to divulge why I chose to do anything in my life with someone else. I am a smart person and I made decisions some were good and some were bad . The older I get the better they are period.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

Commitment, a unique or generalized pledge? Posted: 11/19/2009 3:51:46 PM
Well of course my ideal of committment is changing everyday as I grow older. Some things have stayed the same such as: fidelity, communication and appreciation but other things have changed. I no longer care to embark on some huge challenge that will take all my strength and dominate my waking moments but I would like to spread my water around so that all my flowers can get watered. In otherwords Drama is for young people I am not into raising child like adults anymore . I want to walk through the rest of my life spreading joy not conquering other peoples problems. So if a person is in need of an easygoing soul that would like a traveling companion through the journey of life, stopping to smell the flowers that would be my ticket.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Complicated Girl Question Posted: 11/17/2009 2:47:50 PM
She may have some struggles in her life that do not involve you. Maybe you should ask her what's up? She may be very busy.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 116 (view)

Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income Posted: 11/17/2009 2:43:28 PM
Seriously I am surprised you think so little of women that you feel you have to ask this question.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Hate being single!!!! Posted: 11/14/2009 12:13:45 PM
When you go out alone it is easier to find someone single also. When you are with your freinds men tend to get intimidated by the potential wrath of the clan.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 68 (view)

Confront or Ignore Posted: 11/14/2009 12:10:43 PM
Well the real question is did she bug out on your date for coffee? or is it suppose to happen later? If it is supposed to happen later are you trying to get out of it? Maybe she is moving but doesn't have all her ducks in a row yet.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 54 (view)

Tolerance with age? Posted: 11/12/2009 3:32:47 PM
I agree I have less tolerance for heavy drinkers in fact it's a deal breaker. I find it annoying actually. I love to sing, dance, listen to music but people that have to rehash their childhood over 6 drinks annoy the crap out of me. lol yes I did say that I have more tolerance for things that are beyond someones control and less tolerance for things that exist because people are too stubborn to change. I agree with Ismene I will not sit and listen to uneducated bigotry and racism anymore. I spent 12 years growing up in the south and the sound of racial slurs repels me to the point where I just walk away I'm done enough already.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 71 (view)

Texting while on a date Posted: 11/10/2009 8:42:53 AM
I wont even take my daughter out to eat unless she stops texting . This is very inconsiderate behavior.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

On the Cusp! Posted: 11/7/2009 4:38:55 PM
breath~ said: karma1160, this thread was started 3 years ago and the OP is no longer here, that is why there is no picture. lol omg. Thanks for the heads up I guess it's later than I think.lol So got any new and facinating ideas for a new post? hmmmmmmmm let's see

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

On the Cusp! Posted: 11/7/2009 4:06:26 PM
Okay I get the logic and I totally believe that people go through a door where they feel good in their own skin , but what about your inhibition that prevents me from putting a face to your words. I have conquered a lot of my fears I just need to find the time to start violin lessons now. I absolutely adore the sound of a violin and would long to play but just have not done it yet.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

Dating someone who you`re sexually compatible but nothing more? Posted: 11/7/2009 3:49:11 PM
I need more not that the compatibility would be good, but what happens when people mature and are no longer as perky? I want to be able to have a active and interested conversation at the breakfast table over a cup of coffee with someone who finds me interesting, Sex is a limited time frame which I will not put a number on cause I am smarter than that, but what about the other 23 hours?

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Pre-Date Agreements Posted: 11/7/2009 3:26:35 PM
It's a date all the first date means is we have a possibility of connecting based on the information I know about you. So I would hope that the information was correct. I would hope that a person does not have hidden agendas and can be forthright in their requests. I would hope that you will do your best to arrive when and where you say you are going to. That's about all I expect. My time is not so valuable that I do not have time for an interesting conversation with a person that thinks I may be interesting to. There are several slides in the movie before one gets to the end.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

In Love after two weeks? Posted: 11/5/2009 10:06:04 PM
This sounds to me like the guy is attached already, sorry that is my gut instinct. If he thinks he is going to be in town for only 2 weeks originally than why see her once? Does he work 24 hours a day? It sounds convienent that he works the graveyard shift and can't see her at night. Sorry this is way too full of inconvienent reasons not to see her.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 46 (view)

Shaving or trimming your privates at our age? Posted: 11/4/2009 1:40:39 PM
Well being as I have 2 daughters who told me bush does not exist anymore I tried it.lol That's a no!!!!!! stubble is not for me . ouch mmama I think just trimming the hedges is better than cutting all the leaves off.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 147 (view)

Dating a couple people but not having sex at our age Posted: 11/4/2009 6:51:05 AM
I agree with you no sex until we are mutually exclusive. I am looking for a good freind, soul mate and someone that respected me enough to be my good freind/soul mate would not be sleeping with other people. If we are getting to know each other than that means: identifying a connection, mutual likes and values, and a understanding and appreciation for each others idosyncracies as well as commonality. What is the point of doing all this if it will not be exclusive and just a romp in the hay? Granted the romp would be nice, but it would only serve to make me feel alienated if it did not come with sincere feelings.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 69 (view)

who gets your stuff? Posted: 11/4/2009 6:35:25 AM
Well no big mystery here I have 2 daughters I am sure they will go through my jewelry. My son will take all my books, because he shares the love of reading with me. Hopefully the rest of it will go to the one that want's it the most because they will appreciate it. I have a collection of dolphins and birdhouses my freind will probably take these. My big pieces of stone will probably be fought after. May the strongest man win.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

The details... Posted: 11/3/2009 5:04:47 PM
I am usually nervous on a first date so I tend to ramble and do not scrutinize everything. Sometimes it can take a few dates before I have clarified a lie. In my heart of hearts, I never accuse unless I am sure so yea things are not always obvious. I am expecting people to tell me the truth so I think for the most part they do. The only thing that surprises me really is that people tend to lie about their intentions. I would think middle aged people would look for birds of a feather?

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

Reading between the lines! Posted: 11/3/2009 4:50:09 PM
If your boss says something to you and you don't get it, are you going to try and read between the lines? Men and women as a rule can mean different things when they say things. Why not ask for validation? Hm, now did you say you were having chest pains or was I just reading between the lines?

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 93 (view)

What kind of guy do you want to marry? Posted: 11/3/2009 4:39:44 PM
Well they need to have a twinkle, like my laugh, think I am interesting, love my cooking, be a moderate person in most other areas and of course they must play well with others.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 84 (view)

H1N1 has mutated. We're screwed now! Posted: 11/3/2009 4:01:41 PM
Well I wouldn't go as far as saying Elderberry is Kryptonite but it is the best immune booster I have seen. There is a product called "Sambucol" that is made from elderberry syrup . I believe this may shorten and sometimes even stop viruses. I have been using this for about 2 years now . I have not tried oil of oregano but I will have to look into it. I took a course in herbalogy from someone that seemed to have their stuff together. They told me that the secret to halting and recognizing a virus is to recognize when you first get that chill, and then eat something hot & spicy and raise your core temp a little which kicks in your immune system faster. I do not have any scientific evidence that this works, but I like to drink hot and sour soup when I am getting sick.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 75 (view)

H1N1 has mutated. We're screwed now! Posted: 11/1/2009 6:37:33 AM
abby156 : wrote "I question early reports that this influenza was not "airborne". Every influenza I have known of can be if an infected person coughs or sneezes near another person. Droplets can be airborne." The thing about droplets is this: You cough into your hand, or your kleenex, than you grab the kleenex with your hand put it in your pocket and done right? NO Now you have the germs on your hand then you go touch the door, on your way out of where ever you are, your hand has just transferred the virus to the door, someone else walks behind you touches the door and walla. I am not sure there is any place to hide at this point. Keep you immune system fully charged with plenty of rest and good food, So you can fight it when if you get it. I am not sure how the virus has mutated I have not read this but will look into it. I will tell you from personal experience it is a nasty virus. It's not ebola though it will just make you wish you were dead. So most people will live through it, It's not time to get out the space suit. Were talking body aches, fever and muscle rigidy ugggggg not to mention some cases of sore throats and upper respiratory. It can lead to other complications because it is such an acute immune downer. The transfer of the virus is very fast Biggest risks little kids and pregnant women.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

are you more attracted to people on the forums? Posted: 10/31/2009 6:16:57 PM
You have a lot of good points here handsoflove, but there will always be something that you don't like. If the timing is wrong and a person is not at a place they need to be at the moment when you meet mr. or ms. wonderful than you can always find things wrong with them when your not looking for fault. I am not sure that people are totally conscous of being defensive when they are. One of my reasons for coming here is that it is a place where I can give my opinion without having to wonder if it will be acceptable. Some of us live in professional worlds where you just can't say whatever you want when you want too. Granted that I have no intention or desire to be nasty period, but I do like to debate a bit.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

smell me Posted: 10/31/2009 5:42:32 PM
Yea I guess your right dbb we do dress up to be attractive to the opposite sex. Yes it just seems like such a huge measure to go to when your looking for someone to really connect with you. I want some one to click with me just because I am their favorite recipe on my good days and my bad.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

What is sexy about FAT??? Posted: 10/31/2009 7:46:49 AM
Lint spotter said: "It shows that they like to eat, and I like nothing more than to cook a good meal for someone that truly appreciates the food. I also adore getting a hug from a guy that towers over me... to be cocooned in his arms gives a feeling of divinity that simply cannot be described. Add to that the softness of a few extra pounds and such and I'm in heaven... Of course he can't be all jello and mush, there has to be the strength of a man underneath the extra layer. This isn't to say that I don't find guys that work out and are toned attractive, I absolutely do... ". I agree with this totally, however I do want someone who also likes to try to be health consious too, I would like to keep them around for awhile.. Karma1160

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

smell me Posted: 10/31/2009 7:39:53 AM
Enquiring minds want to know please get back to us. lol How much did these cost? Was is it at least a couple hours of pay for you? Could you have used that time to communicate and connect with someone? Well Seriously If you just go out and try to be a nice guy and be patient and not expect instantaneous results it might just happen without the pheremones.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Dogs Have a Bigger Environmental Impact Then SUV's CarbonWise! Posted: 10/31/2009 7:31:58 AM
Put the prisoners back to work and have them help for "mans best freind".

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

are you more attracted to people on the forums? Posted: 10/31/2009 7:18:05 AM
I have actually never dated anyone who has posted on the forums here. There have been people who I admire and would have liked to, but there were some huge differences in preferences which made me sad actually. I think I would though, if I like what the person said. In fact I think that dating someone that you know you already have the same ideas or at least would love to debate with is half the battle.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 98 (view)

Are Your Filters Set Too High? Posted: 10/24/2009 5:09:31 PM
Well I can say I do have filters, but the filters that I have are from lessons I have learned........ I am a person who is a little to the left, so I enjoy all kinds of people and live and let live. However, I like to do things that are fun & legal, with people who are moderate in nature. I have tried to go out with really nice introverts but the fact is I need to have conversation that is two sided. I think it is not so much about the filters as it is about the mutual personality connections. At this age I want some one I have stuff in common with besides a romantic interest.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Discussions about past relationships Posted: 10/21/2009 3:35:35 PM
I agree with you it usually stems from incompatibility issues although I have to say some people just pick takers. They go along fine for a while and they just plain get sick of it. I used to believe that it was all in intentions but now I think the proof is in the pudding.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 70 (view)

My ex-husband cheated = The sex was bad Posted: 10/20/2009 7:12:19 AM
Well as a person who has only been cheated on once I feel I can comment on this. I asked and I have asked tons of people this question before and if you ask someone who really has the ability to be honest they will say: They liked the newness and mystery of firsts. It was not the other persons fault but a desire to see what was on the other side of the fence. It is also a lack of problem solving techniques and a lack of self dicipline. That being said: stop blaming the other person for bad behavior! If you have a problem in your sex life it is because you have a problem with COMMUNICATION AND PROBLEM SOLVING TECHNIQUES. If you have tried to fix things and they have not worked then you need to move on. My guess is most of these people were not suited to begin with but hung in their for what they consider important reasons anyways. A persons character and loyalty are reflected in the tough moments of life.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ? Posted: 10/16/2009 6:48:37 PM
Well I march to my own drummer and yes this has probably happen to me. I don't know for sure because no one has said put out or get out but, I did date this professional man who really expected sex by the third date eventhough he professed to not be like that. When this did not happen he never called me again imagine that?? Granted I would like nothing better than to be that close to a person the right person period! I believe sex is an expression of feeling, that being said I can't possibly know if I have real feelings for someone or am just feeling amorous by the third date. If someone needs to have have something immediately I suggest they call the red cross relief stand! You won't find my # in the book next to it.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 165 (view)

A real woman Posted: 10/16/2009 8:26:07 AM
Real women were made with big hearts to accept and forgive/ get along with real men. In this criterior I my opinion Hilary Clinton is as real as it gets!!!!!!!!!

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

Dating a person with mental illness scare u? Posted: 10/15/2009 6:28:15 PM
For me personally it would depend on whether the person was being treated and following a program. Mental illness can be treated in most cases and if that is the case then why not? If they are not being treated than I would not want to go there as I am not qualified to fix anyone mentally. I am too old to honestly believe that one can fix mental illness with a dose of love and common sense. Can think your diabetes away?

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Into you or right for you? Posted: 10/15/2009 6:13:56 PM
It's a sad scenario sometimes, you can be into someone for many reasons but they have this one thing that you swore you would never deal with again?? lol Is it possible to find someone "exactly right?" . In my experience I am stuck between being kind of liberal and kind of traditional. It is not very often that I find people who are liberal about life matters but traditional about relationships. I think that ultimately it comes down to shared: interests, bottom line values, and a little bit of a spark.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 81 (view)

The soft blow off, how do you handle it? Posted: 10/9/2009 12:09:04 PM
Yes I would interpret this as 1. the person feels no connection (some people like red some like blue). #2. The person is talking to someone else that maybe more interesting to them right now. #3 The person is in over their head and just really wanted to wade in the water for awhile.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Having the last say..... Posted: 10/9/2009 11:35:30 AM
What really works best for me is writing it down but rarely have I ever sent anything. It is just for me basically. I also look back at my writings sometimes to see how far I have grown. If I am ending it it is usually done! There is only been a one time in my adult life I have had regrets and I have learned much from that decision, but it is in the past. I consider and reconsider my feelings and talk about it before that now. I don't need the last word if someone wants to give me the last word that is usually what is wrong with the relationship in the first place. As I really need someone who knows how to communicate without getting angry. I am not making a judgement call here as I love a good debate, but it has to be on mature ground. I will be the first one to admit I am wrong though. If someone needs to get resolution that is fine I will try to explain myself as best as I can. I do not like to be intimidated by angry bouts of verbage so if someone is in my face, I have already left the building.......

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 69 (view)

Bed Time Posted: 10/2/2009 3:48:40 PM
I usually go to bed around 11 but it can vary it really depends on how tired I am and when I have to get up. I like to get 8 hours it is really important for a persons immune system to get enough sleep.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 192 (view)

Is it wrong for husbands to sexually neglect their wife...but still expect commitment and faith?? Posted: 10/2/2009 3:40:33 PM
Well sex is part of the committment agreement in most marriages. So I would say that if he did not want sex he should have made that clear. I am surprised you let it go on for years you know some people have no libido because of some physical reason that can be cured.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 78 (view)

why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it? Posted: 9/30/2009 4:11:46 PM
Well this all sounds like a roller coaster and I personally am getting the feeling that you both definitly have 2 different ideas about what is involved in maintenance in a relationship. If he was aloof and didn't call right from the start that would be one thing but you obviously were satisfied with the relationship from the start to pick up the pace and get into an intimate relationship. Now you are feeling vulnerable and your actions are beginning to reflect your vulnerability. I do not feel that it is too much for someone not to call for 5 days while they are visiting family. This is your idea not that it is wrong but it is not shared by everyone. NEVER threaten someone unless you are prepared to follow through. In my opinion you were not on stable ground when you took your leap and that is why you are feeling vulnerable now. You do have a right to expect some kind of maintenance from your partner but your ideas of maintenance sound like they are different. Just a thought to ponder here maybe since you both are not sleeping well when you get together he is in need of sleep and is running for cover.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 130 (view)

are you still sexually experimenting? Posted: 9/25/2009 3:42:24 PM
Not at the moment who knows my birthday will be coming around someday.....

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 78 (view)

Horses in pictures???? Posted: 9/25/2009 3:35:49 PM
Not to be a smartalec but, my guess is what is really going on is they have horses and they are riding them in their spare time which is usually when someone is taking a picture of them. I don't know but check out dave917 pic what is that a moose or some kind of oxen????? WOW

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 64 (view)

When you walk let your heart lead the way Posted: 9/25/2009 3:18:28 PM
I agree with you totally I vasilate back and forth to tell you the truth. Most of the time I choose to be myself and have an open heart . However sometimes..........Part of me is tired of trying to decifer someones real intentions that sometimes I feel on gaurd. Eventhough, I know that this is not who I am sometimes life wears on you. All we can be is true to ourselves and be honest to others if we don't always see the people who are hiding their real agendas, well maybe we find ourselves in these circumstances because WE have something to teach them.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 90 (view)

Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality? Posted: 9/23/2009 5:38:23 PM
Well I think rejection bites no matter what ecspecially when you haven't met someone yet. However I tend to have the opposite opinion as the ops in that I believe looks are more changeable to a certain extent then personality. Someone said you can get used to looking at anything in 21 days but dealing with off personality traits is hard to deal with for 2 hours. If someone is smooth and you just know that they are hiding their intent and full of bullsheeet then it takes me less than a couple of hours.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 56 (view)

LOVING Posted: 9/22/2009 7:17:28 AM
I think that as a loving person and wanting to have a companion in my life in the past I have felt that people have come along not to my liking. Not that I didn't like them but just that there was no spark. I have tried to realize in my life that a spark can grow from an ember however I am at the point right now where I am realizing that trying to fit a square peg into a round hole is only achieving a product that is less than what it could possibly be in it's true potential. So as the world turns here I go trying to realize if the spark is absolutely necessary from the get go or not. So I don't know the answer to this question all I know is that once you have been really loved by someone it is very hard to settle for less.

karma1160

Joined: 6/10/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

What is too fast for you? Do you believe in things happening at a certain time? Posted: 9/22/2009 6:50:26 AM
Well whether or not men move fast or slow depends on their age and what they have been through in their life. if he is moving slow than he is unsure and I would definitily let him set his own sail and try not to push because if you do you will only succeed to push him into something he was not ready for and he may bail altogether.

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