Should men pay half of the expense of women's birth control? chat & forums.

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Thread: Should men pay half of the expense of women's birth control?

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 230 (view)

Should men pay half of the expense of women's birth control? Posted: 9/8/2009 6:35:56 PM
I don't see it any more petty than all the males on here who whinge about spending $5 on a cup of coffee and a sandwich for a date. Women have a lot more expenses than men do to make and keep themselves looking hot the way men want us to look. I recall my ex husband's amazement when he found I spent about $100 a week average 20 years ago to look good. Haircuts, color, waxing, personal trainer, vitamins, cosmetics, skin care, perfumes, clothing, shoes, etc. etc. etc. He had this delusion that I just looked that way naturally for free.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 672 (view)

Do women cook anymore?? Posted: 9/8/2009 6:10:24 PM
I'm an excellent cook. The problem is sometimes I'm just too tired to do it. Plus I don't want him to take me for granted and just expect it. Sometimes I really think men just expect it once they get married like they are hard wired to get as much as possible for as little effort possible. They think their wife will do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, errand running while he pushes the bin which was already loaded up by her; out to the curb once a week. We both work. I have an hour commute each way. He has someone to take him to and from work. He won't learn to drive. He gets home from work before I do but does he bother to help out? No, he is loafing on the sofa watching tv. He is still cleaning up his rental property for the new tenants to move in and it would really be nice for him to handle it himself. But no, I get home from work and he has loafed on the sofa and played with the cats which they are out of food and he doesn't care. They are his cats anyway. I keep asking him if he is ready to go as I have to take him over to his house so he can finish cleaning it and he is poking around. I'm tired and just want to sit down but can I? No, I haul him over to the property and drop him off then I go to the grocery and get some food and cat food and then go home and the laundry is still in the washer where I left it so I put it in the drier and I look at the clock and it is 2.5 hours after I left work and it is the first moment I've have to sit down! I'm starving because I worked through lunch so I heat up an instant noodle and feed and water the cats. 10 minutes later he calls and wants me to pick him up as he is done. I go get him and he has the nerve to ask me what I am cooking for dinner. I said I had a microwave noodle and you can fix yourself one too. He said he was tired and I looked at him and said I was tired too and haven't had a minute to sit down since I got off work. He said well you got to go to the grocery which you like and is relaxing. I didn't respond to that because I don't know what he is smoking for him to think I find rushing around a busy grocery store after work is relaxing??? He seemed miffed I wasn't going to start his 5 course meal but oh well. I really don't know where some men/many men get this sense of entitlement from.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 93 (view)

When a man is a porn pervert and lies about it what to do? Posted: 7/29/2009 4:20:04 PM
The problem was he was staying up late at night spending hours doing this. This is fine if he is a single guy. Who cares. When he is in a relationship, spending time jerking off to porn when he could be having sex with his partner is ridiculous. All this garbage about how men aren't meant to be monogamous and need to plant their seed as much as they can. Maybe we can compare ourselves to cats and dogs. They are mammals too and male dogs will screw anything; oh I forgot so will female dogs. Well you aren't planting your seed jerking off in a tissue to pictures on the screen. You read more and more posts from disappointed women who unknowingly get into a relationship with a guy who turns out to be a porn addict. They are upset because instead of having a normal sexual relationship with them, they are busy jerking off in a tissue to porn. How on earth does that have any benefit to a relationship?

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Is this an Aussie thing Posted: 7/2/2009 9:36:27 PM
Wow, who pissed in your wheaties?

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

Do Men in their 40's Want a relationship, YES A RELATIONSHIP ? A real One !!! Posted: 7/2/2009 4:56:31 PM
well, pookie there are going to be some very lonely 50-60 year olds in a few years - and I think it will be too late for them. the 20 somethings wont be interested, neither will the 30 somethings - coz they will want kids, the 40 somethings will have been there done that the the 50+ would have already dated them and be rejected! I do think they end up very lonely. There are a few 40 something 'players' in my office and sure the married guys enjoy the stories of the women he has hooked up with but the nights I have worked late, mr player is there in the office working until late at night. I bet the married guys don't envy him at all when they go home to their wives. They work late hours and weekends because they don't have anyone to go home to.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Is this an Aussie thing Posted: 7/2/2009 4:42:40 PM
or am I behind the times? I'm originally from the US but since I've been living in Oz I've come across many people who seem to be permanently separated and never finalize their divorce. 2 examples A workmate just bought a house with a separated man and he seems in no hurry to even start his divorce. He's been separated from his wife for 2 years and live in different states. A friend's mum has been living with a man who is separated for 15 years. Why would someone never eventually get the divorce? Does the current wife, even separated for years, have claim to the man's assets when he dies? What about the house, could the wife file a claim against the house he bought with his live in because his name is on the deed? Just curious.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

My girlfriend told me the best sex she's ever had was with a past lover Posted: 6/11/2009 11:51:52 PM
Yeah if it takes her 5 minutes she is very likely faking and trying to get it over with fast. Are you sure you aren't hurting her with your rough style? If some guy was rubbing my bits raw and I was an inexperienced young girl, I would be tempted to fake it to get him off of me. Since I'm an old bag, I have no fear of telling him he is rubbing me like sandpaper lol Where did you get this idea that all women like it rough? It's simply not true. Try candles, a luxurious bath with rose petals and lots of kissing and foreplay. She may be telling you that is what she really likes. Here's a hint for you youngsters especially the males. Sex isn't supposed to be like masturbation with another person meaning getting off as quick as you can. We can use a BOB for that. Sex is about the journey, the kisses, the soft touches on the back, tickle with a feather, etc. Nothing is more irritating than some youngster determined to give me an O but in reality turning me off with his roughness and one track goal.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 137 (view)

why only date good looking prima donna's? Posted: 6/1/2009 9:08:58 AM
I think it has to do with bragging rights. They want other guys to be jealous of them etc. Same as when someone buys a Mercedes over a Toyota. It's for showing off. I had to chuckle at this old coot who kept going on about his Thai wife. Every other sentence was about his Thai wife. Why couldn't he just say his wife without throwing in that she is Thai. Finally saw the photo of this catch of his and she was the typical homely third world girl this guy bought and paid for lol.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Sex as a weapon (or at least a tool) Posted: 6/1/2009 8:59:18 AM
Hard to believe you are nearly 50. Is there some reason you aren't marrying your shack up? Get a housekeeper. Stop with the childish bullying and get a housekeeper.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 33 (view)

The 2 roles we fall into, when we hit middle age! Posted: 5/31/2009 11:10:15 PM
I hate metaphor stories. Trite and over done. Basically what you are saying is all men are saints and did nothing to cause the break ups. The women are all basket cases because they don't see the high quality male you present before them. aka all womins are evil and I can't get laid waaa waaa.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 96 (view)

Inappropriate to check X's email? Posted: 5/31/2009 10:48:25 PM
Inappropriate; probably Fun as heck, yes!

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Touching a grabbing in public and more.... Posted: 5/31/2009 10:31:03 PM
It's just typical for males in your age group. What irks me is males in your age group who feel the need to grope or play tonsil hockey the minutes someone walks by them. Grocery store by the milk. Some guy starts sticking his tongue down his girl's throat. Why do guys do this? Yuck.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 152 (view)

How do I politely tell him his clothes look bad? Posted: 5/31/2009 9:37:50 PM
I just don't understand why anyone would want to go around in dirty ragged clothing unless they were gardening or schlepping around the house. To go out dirty in old faded clothes with buttons missing, stains, and holes is just disrespectful to the person you are with and a sign of low self-esteem. I did date someone who bought all their clothes second hand and didn't bathe regularly. They appeared clean and tidy at first and like others in this thread said, they changed to their real selves later on. I understand why he had the goodwill clothes because he had been unemployed for a long time and then he got a job and his career just took off with raises and promotions and he was still wearing the ragged goodwill clothes. I finally said something to him about updating his look. I didn't care if he bought his clothes at KMart as long as they were clean, fit, and not in disrepair.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

give up or hold on? Dating without the title? Posted: 5/29/2009 3:40:48 AM
You do realize that continuing this situation just will keep you stuck to him and not find someone who is really good to you? Cut him off and then you'll be able to find the right one for you.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

Gender Superiority Complex? Posted: 5/5/2009 3:41:22 AM
It happened when I was younger. Having young children just seems to give the general public the license to comment on anything to do with your kids. OP, so why does it bother you so much? I probably am smarter than a lot of people but I don't go around telling people what to do. Even with my employees I'm not that way.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

Polyamory: Can a married person set their profile to Posted: 5/4/2009 5:18:59 PM
I believe having a notarized note from your spouse is the proper protocol.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

The value of posting pictures Posted: 5/4/2009 5:17:36 PM
Before some clever clod states, but you don't have a photo; no I don't because I don't have a profile as I'm not looking. There... clarification complete. For those of you who are actively seeking someone, I don't get why you can't get a recent photo of yourself? It makes me think that you are living under a rock in isolation to where you don't have access to a digital camera, phone with digital camera, or a friend with a digital camera. How can someone with all the technology around not have a recent photo of themselves?

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 113 (view)

Straddling the fence Posted: 5/2/2009 10:01:31 PM
It says in your profile you are really picky? So what are you picky about? This guy was gum on your shoe level. I don't think you could have picked lower than him. convicted criminal, cheater, drug addict, unemployed, homeless, etc. etc. etc. How is that picky? I also think if he hadn't disappeared on you, you probably would have stuck around. Yeah you should address the low self-esteem and lack of boundaries.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Why Must It Always Be the Man Who Make First Contact? Posted: 5/1/2009 4:44:09 PM
What people say and what really happens are many times completely different. Guys say they want a girl to pursue but really they don't. They want to pursue and win the fair maiden's heart. I'm sure in your life there are things that you worked hard for and found them much more rewarding than something that was handed to you on a silver platter.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 69 (view)

Is it childish secrets and combover Posted: 4/30/2009 7:10:27 PM
elsbethlette, honey speak for yourself. I'm not obese, flabby, wrinkly, or saggy. I was blessed with great genetics and a wonderful cosmetic surgeon; plus I eat properly and exercise. I'm going to bow out of this thread as there seems to be a lot of anger and jealousy coming through from some of the posters.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

Is it childish secrets and combover Posted: 4/30/2009 5:31:22 PM
His family consists of 2 people; a sibling and an elderly mother dealing with cancer. You read on these other threads about how great it is to have an older woman so now that it comes down to marriage somehow someone who is older is defective or less or not a catch? Which is it? I don't know why anyone wouldn't think I was a catch. I'm attractive, educated, very successful career. If they want to look down on me I would just laugh because it would be funny for people who barely have a pot to pee in to look down on someone like me. Somehow, I don't think that would be the case at all. I think his mother had given up on him ever having a girlfriend at all and he thought they suspected he was gay. I think she would be thrilled he found someone and the fear is all in his head. I think he just needs to be brave and just tell them and he'll see it isn't as bad as he thinks. His friends do know about me. Just not his family.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

Is it childish secrets and combover Posted: 4/30/2009 4:03:09 AM
Regardless if he is embarrassed by my age or not, he is eventually going to have to man up and tell his family. Besides, he is the one who wants to be with me. Nobody is forcing him. My point is that the longer he waits to tell them, the worse it makes him look. I bet they overlook the age thing when they see how well off I am. Most people do.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 50 (view)

Is it childish secrets and combover Posted: 4/29/2009 5:40:30 PM
People, I'm 47.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

Is it childish secrets and combover Posted: 4/29/2009 4:10:29 PM
Skullet, Gillette barber!! LMAO Thanks for the laughs this morning all you nice folks. I think the hair thing may be resolved as I mentioned before I would cut his hair some weekend and last night I said I keep forgetting about it as we get so busy and he mentioned if I made him an appointment, he would go. Hurray! Goodbye Skullet!!! The secret wedding thing. It seems like maybe he is just really scared as he seems to be coming around asking if I would take his last name or not and we both have really long names so we were hyphenating them to make this ridiculously long name lol. The person who mentioned poor outlook on life probably hit the nail on the head. He had poor role models growing up. I'm going to sign us up for the pre- marriage classes. I think he his wondering how his family will accept me being that I'm 20 years older than he is. Plus he is worried his workmates will make a huge fuss if they find out he is getting hitched. He doesn't like the spotlight on him at all. I'm just being laid back and low key and not a bridezilla or anything like that and I think he is slowly coming around. And yeah people do come here for advice. That is the point of these forums isn't it; to discuss relationship issues!

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Is it childish secrets and combover Posted: 4/28/2009 10:17:23 PM
So basically what you are saying is to not say anything to him about his hair. I am not trying to make it like he is so horrible and I'm not. It isn't like that. He just started going bald maybe a 2 years ago and before, he kept his hair tidy. This long hair comb over thing is fairly recent and I know he is just trying to cover the baldness. I get that. I wish there was a gentle way to tell him isn't working. It would be like if I decided to die my hair green for some reason and I did and he hated it but didn't know how to tell me and didn't know how to tell me it looked horrible. Should I say something to him about about not telling anyone about the marriage? What?

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Is it childish secrets and combover Posted: 4/28/2009 9:57:46 PM
daisy, why is asking him to do one thing all of a sudden making him a project to fix? Maybe I should just stop shaving and and combing my hair. I'm sure he'd be fine with that. Not. Next, he doesn't cherish his long hair. He hates it. He just thinks it covers up his baldness. He said the reason he isn't telling anyone is because he doesn't like people knowing about his private life. I think he is just being childish. So what should I say to him if anything?

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Is it childish secrets and combover Posted: 4/28/2009 9:36:31 PM
Not sure why this is being labeled a troll pity post. This is a serious question. Keeping the marriage a secret is the main problem. I wanted to ask about both things but didn't want to make 2 different topics. He knows I don't like the stringy long hair which is probably why he won't do anything with it.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Is it childish secrets and combover Posted: 4/28/2009 9:30:21 PM
I'm engaged and will be married in a few months. My fiance doesn't want to tell anyone about our marriage. Personally, I think the longer he waits, the worse it makes him look. He is reluctant to get his super long hair cut. He is balding quite a bit on the top and has a comb over and hair down the middle of his back. It looks terrible. I know he thinks he is hiding his baldness but it isn't. I don't care about him going bald but he could have a hair cut that would actually flatter him. How would you address these issues?

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

ve you or would you form a relationship with someone in another country Posted: 4/21/2009 2:30:16 PM
No, most of the time its a total waste of time and effort. Commitment phobic people tend to like them though.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Does chat/email really mean dating/romance? Posted: 4/17/2009 12:56:29 PM
Do you have a problem with meeting new people just to socialize? Would it hurt to go out for a coffee and an in person chat with him? I think most people who are interested want to meet in person eventually. I have had a few online friends I've only known online for maybe 10 years and if we have the chance would love to meet in person. Put a toe in, the water is fine

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 174 (view)

Are there any people left that date one at a time? Posted: 4/17/2009 4:10:15 AM
I used to do the one at a time thing too. Ran into too many tire kickers and time wasters though. Dating to me means going out and meeting men to get to know them. It will take more than a handful of dates and wanting to be my boyfriend to get me to be exclusive with them. There has to be a really good reason for me not to keep my options open. Some guys like to get exclusive early on so they can sit back and enjoy the steady sex or whatever until they are ready to move on. They aren't looking to be forever with you but you're just the good for now girl. I could spend years with a time waster and basically have closed off any option to find what I really want. If he'd been honest about what he was wanting maybe I would have still dated him while still going out with others to find someone who wants the same thing I do.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Dance / Weight / Fitness quandry Posted: 4/17/2009 2:41:12 AM
OP I really don't get what your problem is! Why are you dating gals you think are too big? Why why why?????? Date slimmer gals and this isn't an issue at all.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 51 (view)

Who is responsible for what? Posted: 4/16/2009 4:06:14 PM
desert, did you actually get any benefit from being in these relationships or did it come down to you being their maid? I am interested in the relationship with a man not being his maid or mummy. I'm white collar and have a house keeper and a gardener for myself. Why on earth would I give those things up if I got with a guy? There would be no benefit to me at all.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 50 (view)

Who is responsible for what? Posted: 4/16/2009 4:02:52 PM
My husband and I somehow had this idea that as a married couple, everythign should be 50% and that meant that neither of us should have to do 51%...and that the other person dam* well better be doign their half. Hmmm.... What's wrong with this picture? Well, for one thing, seriously, my ex was a lazy irresponsible azz. I bet he was secretly hoping you would just take up the slack for his lazy butt so he could go about his slovenly slob ways and have you there to clean up after him.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

When His Moustache Comes Between You! Posted: 4/16/2009 3:40:05 PM
The poorly groomed sloppy looks just aren't attractive. The big walrus ones with bald head, yuk.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 62 (view)

Guy your dating is on POF looking for friends? Posted: 4/16/2009 3:06:13 AM
He's full of crap. Tell him that. There are plenty of other sites to find friends on other than dating sites. Besides, what guy is actually looking for friends online?

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Mention Camping and... Posted: 4/15/2009 5:46:07 AM
There are probably some gals who love camping. I do. I think these days, many people haven't ever camped. They are too busy stuck in front of the latest video game. Heck a lot of people don't bother to go outside. I think bringing it up too soon can be a little creepy. They may be wondering if camping involved a shovel, duct tape, and ropes.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

Mr, Mrs Right or RIGHT NOW Posted: 4/13/2009 3:50:44 PM
I guess the problem occurs when one thinks the relationship is leading to something long term and the other is pretending. The honest thing to do would be to open things up to where both can date others is they so choose and then have the chance to meet someone. Being exclusive and knowing you aren't going to marry the person and knowing they want to, is rather dishonest. You are in a sense taking away their options to meet someone who really loves them and does want the same thing they want. But of course, selfishness tends to win out over honesty. Maybe someone who has been in this situation can answer this for me. If you know you aren't going to marry the person, then why would you object to them dating others?

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 79 (view)

Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding. Posted: 4/13/2009 3:44:55 PM
Anytime I hear people who perhaps are not as well off complaining because people who do have money, are spending the money they have the way they want, I see big red envy flags. If someone has the money and they are not going into debt I see nothing wrong. Could it be that when some people bemoan spending a lot of money on a wedding that they are thinking its the people who are going into debt that is the problem. All my family and close friend own their homes. Cars are paid for when bought. No debt. When the guys from Microsoft, Google, Yahoo got married they could well afford the big wedding. Average people may not be able to do so. I agree 100%. I suppose it is one thing for two people making $50k a year between the two of them to spend $30k on a wedding but people who make lots of money think nothing to spend that much because they can. I have a workmate who is planning to spend $25k on a vacation. It is just a normal thing in my circle like spending $5 on a cup of coffee is to others.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 71 (view)

Do you snoop on the one you like/love? Posted: 4/13/2009 3:38:34 PM
WOW and you are a Buddhist? My son is a Buddhist which is why I ask. And I have never looked in someone medicine cabinet, closets, drawers. Heck even at a friends home whom I have known years I ask if I can get a glass. Eeee gads! The shock! I bet Christians, Atheists, Hare Krishna, and non-religious people snoop too! Here's the three people who answered after the above statement. Which are the politically correct liars? Obviously you have the correct answer to this. Do share with the rest of us unenlightened ones!

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 48 (view)

Breast Size [Do guys ever notice the difference?] Posted: 4/13/2009 2:00:54 AM
Mine are the same size exactly but one is about half inch lower than the other. No guy would notice this after I unleash my FFs.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 59 (view)

Tell Me About Your Dream Home.... Posted: 4/13/2009 1:56:03 AM
My dream house is the one I live in.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 54 (view)

Photoshop cheating Posted: 4/13/2009 1:54:00 AM
Yep, it's true. All of my photos are photoshopped.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 55 (view)

Do you snoop on the one you like/love? Posted: 4/13/2009 1:38:59 AM
Snooping on computers is the modern day version of snooping in people's closets and medicine cabinet. I love to snoop and it can be anybody. It's fun and I'm nosy.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Did I ask too much? Posted: 4/13/2009 1:29:45 AM
Yes he was looking for a cheap maid and slave. You are good to be rid of him. Beware the guy who expects you change everything about yourself to suit him.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 74 (view)

I would think alot of women r senstive about their weight/age? What about men? Posted: 4/12/2009 5:50:36 PM
I was going to join in on this self loathing thread but I won't. I love myself just the way I am.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 105 (view)

Do successful men want higher maintenance women? Posted: 4/6/2009 5:44:32 AM
What we really want to know is what kind of men do successful women want?

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

2 years and is ready to stand up to the plate? No more dicking around :) Posted: 4/5/2009 12:30:10 AM
There is no way you should be attached to one guy at your age. You are only 19. Get out there and date at least 100 guys before you settle down.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

Having the Talk About Being Exclusive.... Posted: 4/2/2009 4:14:35 PM
All exclusivity is is locking down someone for sex. It means nothing else. You are still in a dating relationship. I used to think exclusivity meant liking each other to just see each other to determine if you want to be with them long term or not. It turns out people like this status because they don't really have to look, they have a steady sex partner and someone to do something with on weekends even if they know from the very beginning they have no intentions of marriage with that person. So my new rule is I will be sexually exclusive with one person. I won't sleep around but the truth is until he proposes we are still only dating and I can go to coffee, lunch, a movie with any man. I wont invest years into someone who has no intention of marrying me but hasn't bothered telling me that and therefore me closing off all my other options for finding someone interested in the same thing.

lelathecat

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Seeing Vs. Dating what's the difference? Posted: 4/1/2009 2:13:38 PM
I don't believe in exclusivity anymore. I can date until one man claims me as his one and only by putting a ring on my finger. These 2-5 year serial monogamy things are a total waste of time.

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