Scarlet letter to identify an HIV or AIDS carrier? chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: Scarlet letter to identify an HIV or AIDS carrier?

Surely Im Shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 199 (view)

Scarlet letter to identify an HIV or AIDS carrier? Posted: 11/14/2009 5:36:36 PM
So...a long time after the original post I've read the thread again. Wow. Women with and those who have survived breast cancer wear a pink ribbon. They are proud of it; even those who no longer have breasts! Those in the army and those who support the army show their pride by a 'cami' ribbon. Those with and those who support the cause for the yellow daffodil....? Same. Heart and stroke supporters? Same. Do we ostrasize paraplegics, quadraplegics, deaf, mute, or blind people? Society once did. Hopefully, most of us no longer ostrasize those who are 'red or yellow, black and white', single mothers, divorced persons, the mentally ill or mentally handicapped, but....society once did. All of these groups have suffered ostrasization in the past because of their visible difference. Most of us now accept all of these because they no longer have any....shhhhhh.....stigma. Because someone contracts HIV, it is assumed that they were sexually irresponsible. We know that is not necessarily so. Why not wear a ribbon or...a tattoo...to advocate the seriousness of this disease or even to protect others in our weaker moments? Why on earth would that matter unless that person planned to deceive others? Who would see it after all, but their lovers or their eventual caregivers? All of those others diseases mentioned as others examples for identification ARE NOT TRANSFERRABLE! Look at the rates of increased HIV infection world wide. Do we just let it slide? Do we legislate regular mandatory testing and identification? WHY NOT? Mothers pass it on to their children! Something must be done. Instead of wasting time simply bashing an idea....easy....come up with an idea of your own!

Surely Im Shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

How Many Of You Are Doing This? Posted: 11/8/2009 5:41:06 AM
'Red flags' are simply intuitive warnings and they should not be ignored. I've been accused of seeking the negative but that is said by the person I'm being negative about. Duh. If I like everything about a man, and can overlook his more endearing annoyances, then I am prepared to give that relationship a 100 % effort. My absolute criteria however is that he considers me a priority. eg. If I ask him to help me with the windshield wipers, not once but 3 times over a couple of months and he never does, then I don't feel that my safety is important to him. If things like this happen continuously, then I begin to question the sincerity of his 'love'. Those little things are red flags to me.

Surely Im Shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

friendship or romantic intrest or just sex?? Posted: 11/8/2009 5:21:25 AM
OP...I don't get what you're asking but I think you claim that you don't recognize a man's interest in you. Pay more attention. Maesbaby....he chose the woman he met when "out of town" for a few days over you. Sorry.

Surely Im Shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

A Plugged up Toilet, so she packed up and left?! Should I let it go? Posted: 11/8/2009 5:09:57 AM
[I share my roof with her. My soap, my shampoo, my toiletries, my electricity, my heat, my food, my everything. I cook for her. She doesn't cook for me. I take her out to eat. She can't reciprocate financially, but doesn't reciprocate in kind either. But I don't complain or keep tabs on it. I love her.] And then you contradicted all of that when you told her to get a job. Your resentment would only have gotten worse. Change the locks.

Surely Im Shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

How to prevent THIS type of hurt? Posted: 11/6/2009 6:22:17 AM
See the signs.... Do you feel like you are his/her number 1 or do you feel 2nd or 3rd on a list of other priorities? If I don't feel that I come first on that list, then I am done in that relationship. And no. I am not self centred or egocentric!

Surely Im Shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 147 (view)

Oral Sex on Uncircumsized Penis...? Posted: 11/6/2009 6:14:33 AM
I had to stop and think about which way my guy is! Seems I rarely see him except when hard, but I really have no preference! Been with both and I've never had a bad lover.

Surely Im Shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 79 (view)

Not a touchy feely person Posted: 11/3/2009 8:53:33 PM
Touchy....feeley? Its' called love....oops...lust....over...when? Honey, if he can't keep his hands off you....you're safe. No more info required.

Surely Im Shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 52 (view)

Phone Sex and Faking It Posted: 11/3/2009 8:50:54 PM
Phone Sex and Faking It Posted: 9/5/2008 850 AM Enjoying this thread.. and taking notes... Thanks... smile Have you had more experience since....smile....

Surely Im Shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 59 (view)

Texting while on a date Posted: 11/3/2009 8:19:17 PM
"Am I wrong to expect that when I am picked up for a date that the focus should be on the two of us? If it was an emergency or a family member then that would be understandable and expectable but a "friend" who just happens to be female. I'm not even the least bit jealous by nature but should I expect things like that while dating these days?" Done.

Surely Im Shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 88 (view)

A friend's cheating husband Posted: 11/3/2009 8:17:12 PM
I've never had any problem with diffusing inappropriate approaches. Don't get it. Think you like it. Not a friend. Discussion is a waste of time.

Surely Im Shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 128 (view)

Should I Be Able to Accept My Husband Smoking Pot? Posted: 11/3/2009 8:07:53 PM
a) You will never meet a violent pot smoker b) Pot should be legal (in my opinion) c) The same people complaining about pot are regularly drunk d) He is a communicating man..... e) He is being upfront and honest f) There is more here than meets the eye.............................

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

A gentleman confused for being a sexual morsel Posted: 7/11/2009 5:56:46 AM
I've never been with a man who is not as you described and they were always completely willing and delighted to explore the sexual side of things with me. The men who were obviously interested only in the sex did not interest me because I am worth getting to know. That has always been my philosophy and it works for me.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 127 (view)

what do men consider overweight? Posted: 5/29/2009 8:59:28 AM
75% of the women on this freak show dating site put down under body type: average or a "few" pounds overweight. A "few" pounds means 5 maybe 10 pounds over. NOT 40 to 70 pounds. Are you women that blind or just that stupid?? Don't you have a mirror in your house? Well you put that in the rudest possible way, so in that case I suggest that you go find your own mirror Mr Sag!

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

How Important is Sex in a Relationship???? Posted: 5/23/2009 6:45:27 AM
Sex has, and always will make the world go round.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 90 (view)

ORAL SEX AND NEW TECHNIQUES Posted: 5/23/2009 6:39:55 AM
Surely, Shirley, I want a man who knows what he is doing. I agree wholeheartedly, but I have yet to meet the masterful lover that we read about. Until then, I guess we'll learn together.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

Old Fashioned. Posted: 5/23/2009 6:36:24 AM
if you have yet to have sex, there is a higher chance sex will have little meaning for your marriage. HUH? How do you figure? And some can and will argue this helps keep a marriage together. Guaranteed that true intimacy will be the glue that binds.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

dirty pictures Posted: 5/22/2009 8:21:24 AM
I would agree that particularly picture #2 may appear to some to be a blatant invitation. I can't think of any 'nice' girl who would display so much boob in public, except perhaps by wardrobe malfunction, and then in that case a 'nice' girl who would then post the picture of that 'oops'.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

Old Fashioned. Posted: 5/22/2009 8:09:05 AM
My first lover became my husband, and I was also his first. Yes the first time was tricky and frustrating....but we knew each other well and it was also fun and exciting. We learned together and even after the love had faded we continued to enjoy a satisfying and exciting sex life. I have young people in my life who are also committed to abstinence until marriage, although their reasons are religious. I admire the apparent love and devotion to their boy/girl friends, even without sex. I think that they are remarkably strong and admirable in their convictions. I think that if two people choose committment to each other even without sex, that their bond may be stronger. And....hopefully they will have learned better communication skills and enjoy teaching and learning sexually together.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Give good fone? Posted: 5/22/2009 7:52:20 AM
I would agree that 'Pill' needs to 'chill'. I didn't read this as a troll post either.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 81 (view)

ORAL SEX AND NEW TECHNIQUES Posted: 5/22/2009 7:18:53 AM
I read them, Soulfood. They were quite ummm......explanatory. I still cannot get over however, the men I've known who just did not seem to know how a woman is made. Good thing I'm not afraid to show them.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 77 (view)

ORAL SEX AND NEW TECHNIQUES Posted: 5/21/2009 10:42:01 AM
No offense fellows but unless you have some incredible insight I probably already know it. I love nothing more than going down on a girl, and consider myself quite a pro. Oh if I had $100 for all the men who truly believed this and have been soooo.......wrong. Lets hear from the girls who agree with me that many men are a marvel only in their own minds!

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 75 (view)

ORAL SEX AND NEW TECHNIQUES Posted: 5/21/2009 10:06:43 AM
Well kowboy...just another perspective from a Canadian gal. Nobody mentioned the 'noise'. I love to hear my man enjoying himself down there. I like to imagine that he is making every effort to suck me dry and loving every minute of it. The sounds are very important and just as important, is that they are not overdone. Just some nice natural slurping and smacking and sighing, and mmmmm......... In addition of course to all that other great stuff mentioned, particularly the part about keeping her mind so busy with the sensations of both hands and mouth on her entire body, and switching it up so that its' impossible to become distracted. Further, I would encourage her to use her own hands on herself as well. Finally, a great lube.... everywhere is a plus!

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Who is worse? Men or Women? Posted: 5/21/2009 9:30:24 AM
Yet, we also hear how women are "catty" towards each other. Men are openly verbal in their assessment of what another man is saying or doing, saying in no uncertain terms whats on their mind, while women use more of the "cloak and dagger" method of expressing themselves. That is really generalizing. Not all women are "catty" or gossips, and those who behave that way are often insecure themselves and so justify their own worth by decimating someone else. Some women are "openly verbal in their assessment" of others. I would like to believe that I am one of those women, although I also say that some men can be just as petty as some women. I would agree however that women do seem to stick together when male 'bashing' and that the man who disagrees risks being bashed himself.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 88 (view)

It was all good until.... Posted: 5/20/2009 6:14:37 AM
he started parroting my opinions....

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

F*ckers vs. Lovers Posted: 5/19/2009 7:47:36 AM
And then again, my ex was a bit of a prude, to put it mildly. Its' a shame that she never felt secure enough, pretty enough or perhaps even loved enough to communicate her desires to you and shed her inhibitions but perhaps its' because you were negative about her then too.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

What would the world be like if.... Posted: 5/19/2009 7:41:14 AM
I agree Deerdog.....the double standard will be here a long, long time. That young man, the OP will not marry the girl who put out as easily and as often as he thinks he would like them to.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

pictures and kudos of McCabes in Orillia party Theme is Famous People.......May 9th/09 Posted: 5/19/2009 7:34:41 AM
(Huge sigh of relief!) It was my first POF party and I was somewhat taken aback to see what I thought was normal attire for some people. Somehow I missed the whole 'theme' concept. I feel much better now, although I had a blast! Looking forward to the next one but I am not going in a bikini.....shaking head.....no...no....no....

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

is it right to pursue real chemistry or is it plain stalking? Posted: 5/15/2009 4:19:23 AM
What part of NO does 'Frank' not understand?

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

a Couples thing....? Posted: 5/14/2009 7:23:44 AM
Hmmmm.....I'm open minded too, but....a young woman meeting a couple. That young womans baby's picture is posted too. A little scary. I wonder what happened to the OP?

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Moving on after 3 Strikes Posted: 5/14/2009 6:57:44 AM
You've heard it said I'm sure, that "pain is akin to pleasure". Face your fears and you will face yourself.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 78 (view)

Gals in commando Posted: 5/13/2009 2:12:39 PM
Hey honey....aren't regular panties always riding up your azz anyway? Thats' why I switched.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 76 (view)

Gals in commando Posted: 5/13/2009 1:51:43 PM
A thong does seem like the perfect solution but it hurts. You've worn the wrong styles and also perhaps in too small a size. I won't wear anything else.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

Gals in commando Posted: 5/12/2009 12:26:39 PM
Holy personal! Ewwww.....even. But of course I have to throw in my 2 cents. I don't like to do laundry and a pair of dress slacks or a dress worn without panties need a wash and perhaps even ironing after one wear. After all, we don't generally get more than one day from our panties right? So...for me...a thong eliminates panty lines, is extremely comfortable and minimizes my laundry. Commando? At home....sure. For my man? Sometimes. Big Daddy? Try it, you might like it.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

Is she too old for me Posted: 5/12/2009 12:12:35 PM
"Women never slow down - they just select a lower gear to make us men think we're keeping up. " Cute comment but I sincerely hope that my guy will continue to keep up with me! He is younger however, and that may present a problem. We older gals are notoriously energetic!

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

What are the expectations as far as dating goes? Posted: 5/12/2009 9:10:53 AM
Dating, IMO is the process of finding someone with whom you would like to share an exclusive relationship. I agree with the others who have said that once intimacy has occurred or is pending that a verbal, mutual agreement to be exclusive should happen.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Friend in trouble Posted: 5/9/2009 7:16:26 AM
Shes' using that as an excuse to end it with your friend, or she is too seriously insecure to manage a relationship right now anyway.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

someone help me Posted: 5/9/2009 7:13:35 AM
I too think its' possible that the X wants to stay in your life, but I would suggest that you have the kids exchange phone numbers. They're old enough to make their own plans once they have permission from their respective parents.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

Is she too old for me Posted: 5/9/2009 6:53:55 AM
My Mom is 70 and bought herself a snow blower this winter to save money. She loved it when it snowed. It was hilarious to see her out there all snow covered and smiling. It all depends on the person.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

flirting by text message Posted: 5/9/2009 6:47:13 AM
it was many and just did it again when I asked if there was a reason they are being ignored... So she responded to regular messages but not the flirtatious ones, and it seems that you didn't get her message. They make her uncomfortable and were not welcome and now....you're being pushy and confrontational. I don't think that you'll be dating this girl.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

How do you know you're really ready to get involved again ? Posted: 5/8/2009 7:28:28 AM
lilwmn is right. Don't rush into anything....they end up as rebounds and everyone gets hurt. Dating is fun, it's easy. Just be honest with people and take your time getting to know them.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Romance...or friends...with or without benefits? Posted: 5/8/2009 7:23:56 AM
Yes, I'd agree with John. You just haven't met the right woman.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

flirting by text message Posted: 5/7/2009 10:28:50 AM
I only text to people I speak to often, simply to save cell time, but texting otherwise is juvenile and too easy to hide behind. Say it upfront or not at all.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 54 (view)

pic on first date Posted: 5/7/2009 10:26:22 AM
I agree. She should have been asked!

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

Does head over heels in love still happen after 45? Posted: 5/7/2009 8:46:02 AM
Love grows....sneaks up on you....before you know it....you're in love and....its' lovely! Head over heels is for kids who haven't learned patience and caution. I've never had a bad relationship. Each man in my life is remembered fondly.

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 124 (view)

Is it a compliment to be contacted by a younger man? Posted: 5/7/2009 8:32:34 AM
I've been hit on by my childrens' male friends, oh...and once a girl, since they all hit puberty. Always flattering. Always amusing. Never considered. Although....some of them are starting to look awfully damn good, particularly those in their 30s'!

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 80 (view)

Folding Fitted Sheets--Help???? Posted: 5/7/2009 8:11:06 AM
Ha farceur....that was a great visual! Seriously though....wash and wear. Hey....did anyone wet their sheets last night?

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

How would a person politely say that they are not interested? Posted: 5/6/2009 1:58:58 PM
I too, used to respond to everyone, except for the obvious ones of course. Its' as discouraging sending rejection slips I think as it is receiving them....well maybe. Now if the profile and message display some effort, then I will respond with something like "Thanks for your nice words, but I'm just not 'feelin it'. Good luck with your search". Ideally there is something in their profile that creates an issue for me though and then I would comment on that instead. Generally I receive an message thanking me for my reply and my honesty. No effort = read/delete

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

I care for him, more than he cares for me.....but he sends me mixed signals.... Posted: 5/6/2009 6:30:07 AM
I'm with those who have asked if you have ever told him how you feel. If he tells you that he does not have the same feelings, then you must make a choice. Can you continue to be friends or should you walk away?

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

Curious about peoples success rate on here... Posted: 5/5/2009 10:22:47 AM
Well Pirate, you're too young and too far away, but you float my boat! Keep trying!

surely im shirley

Joined: 6/14/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Curious about peoples success rate on here... Posted: 5/5/2009 8:36:10 AM
I got out of it pretty much what I put into it. When I was focused on meeting men, I did. At least a couple I saw more than once. But....just recently I hooked up with an old acquaintance from years ago right here on POF and we're going to give it a shot. So....perhaps I'll keep you posted! Wish me luck!

Show ALL Forums