Anyone else always fall in love but are never loved back? chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: Anyone else always fall in love but are never loved back?

Fred-60

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 192 (view)

Anyone else always fall in love but are never loved back? Posted: 7/18/2009 5:55:31 AM
Chemistry... sometimes i wonder how come I feel it for so many different "kinds" of women. No two of them remotely the same yet I feel somehow drawn to them, each one in their own time. Perhaps it's because with time we change and new parts of our personality begin to express. I don't think I'll ever become so set in my ways as to be settled down. Give me a kindered soul!

Fred-60

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

a new a new day where theres a will there s away Posted: 7/18/2009 5:50:15 AM
I like poetry. Do you have any others?

fred57

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

a new a new day where theres a will there s away Posted: 1/7/2009 4:52:53 PM
Keep on believing man... there's always "away" or sometimes just a way!

fred57

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 158 (view)

Anyone else always fall in love but are never loved back? Posted: 12/12/2008 12:13:19 PM
I've loved but was "cared for deeply" back... Does that count? Hurts just the same, I assure you of that.

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

my poem i dont know what to title it what do u think Posted: 10/12/2008 11:07:19 AM
I think I'd call it the beginning.... :-) Good luck with her!!!!!!!!

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

How do I get over all this? Posted: 9/22/2008 10:00:34 AM
I think you need a little time, a good divorce attorney and lots of good friends and new ones. Stay away from the new fling in his life and stay away from him, of course. Good luck with your heart. When it speaks try to route the words through your head first before you listen. Fred

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Right man wrong time Posted: 9/22/2008 8:48:34 AM
That's quite a story. Two years!!!!!!!! You have a lot of time past... Time to catch up. Perhaps going slow isn't the proper course here. Jump in and hold on. The roller coaster is ready to go. Good luck to you both. This is fairy tale stuff. Go and write that story together. Keep writing, don't stop. Don't worry so much, you'll see things will be fine.

Fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 238 (view)

How many people have actually went on a date using this site? Posted: 9/11/2008 7:47:50 AM
To my recollection my 'date' from the Fishes and I exchanged a half dozen emails and then atwo phone calls or three before we set a date to meet. I'm new at this. I just didn't know most people move more quickly. We established a level of trust and had a good time with the emails and spent a good deal of time writing to each other as the relationship developed, but not through the site.

fredlucky

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 48 (view)

How to prescreen a potential first date. Posted: 9/8/2008 9:22:17 PM
I agree, a first meeting should be longer than the time needed to toss back a cup of coffee.

fredlucky

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 210 (view)

Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive? Posted: 9/8/2008 8:58:20 PM
I'm thinking it has made me a little sad. Too many hurt and wounded are here pretending to be healthy, trying... but still crying. Then there are the games...no photos, photos that arn't real, their age off by about five years because they "look" younger than they are, three or more profiles for the same woman under different names each routinely making the same spelling errors or punctuation mistakes. I suppose I look too closely. But then again, the pickings are slim.

fredlucky

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Meeting someone ... making you want to jump back to the last one Posted: 9/6/2008 3:25:29 PM
Brothers and sisters, I disagree with you all. If getting over an ex love is a naturally difficut thing and it takes time and you'll compare the ex to your new honey, so what? Given time it will pass. If you know yourself and what you are feeling and why, and you let your new honey in on it too, then the way forward is known for both of you. If the new person in your life loves you and wants to be with you, where is the harm if you gan give them only 50 percent of yourself now, and 55 percent in another month, and maybe 75 percent in four months and 99 percent in 7 months. Tell me I'm wrong. I would like to know. The alternative, cutting it off, seems to waste two peoples lives, unless somehow they reconnect someday.

fredlucky

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 300 (view)

Is red hot romance possible after 50? Posted: 9/5/2008 10:02:33 AM
I am happy to say it is possible and more! Poetry, day dreams, waking up hugging your pillow when she's not there with you - these are things you can feel at any age. Just be sure you can't have them with this woman first before you leave her. Perhaps a little talking and a change in your patterns of dating will help. Go somewhere new and go without a plan. Just be together and explore. I'm a bit older than you. Maybe it will fade whem I'm 85 but I hope not. Hang in there , she will come.

fredlucky

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 107 (view)

Do you ever get use to being single? Posted: 9/4/2008 7:30:13 AM
Well, I'm going on 59 never married. I'm used to it. Every now and then someone wakes me up and I realize what I've been missing and the benefits of what I have too. I think there's plusses and minuses to both ways of life. However a happy, marriage filled with love is I think the closest to Heaven you can have on earth. A bad marriage is the closest to Hell you could find.

fredlucky

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

When is it a good time to leave and when is it good to stay? Posted: 9/3/2008 6:20:37 PM
You can't leave her. It's her choice too. Talk to her and the both of you together drcide or seek counseling together..

fredlucky

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

little luck on this site Posted: 9/3/2008 5:53:04 PM
I think we got the superman thing nailed. Let's see the new pic, then close this thread!

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

A great catch on the rebound? Posted: 9/1/2008 9:56:52 AM
I've seen it work on ONE occassion and they did take it very slow. Just remember that your taking a risky chance. The day will come when her greving days are over and will view things in a new light. One of them "may" be you. Good luck to you. Thanks! Something tells me that posting on the BROKEN HEART forum was a mistake on my part. However I've gained from your posts information about how difficult this can be for everyone involved. I understand now that because she loved him it's so so hard to heal and let go. I would want the same feelings for me - not that I would leave. Going slow in friendship appears to be the only answer here. Some of you think I'm wasting my time because there are others "healthy" women out there waiting who don't have "baggage" but at my age just about everyone does. I'm in my late 50's. How many single never married never hurt women of that age are there? So, respectfully speaking to all of you, I am very fond of this woman and I will stay in her life if she permits me to do so... as her friend. What do we all say here? Oh right = "Friends First!"

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 68 (view)

Is your new BF/GF still logging onto POF? Posted: 8/31/2008 7:13:21 PM
LOL I have the same thoughts back when I was being hounded by my "stalker" the ticket cop from S Philly. She was always on here spying and commenting on my profile photos or what not. Only lasted a week or two fortunately. I was new so didn't realize how the platform works. good luck.

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

Croc shoes- safety vs. fashion trend Posted: 8/31/2008 6:29:32 PM
Mine have crocodile skins. The soles wore out in six months. Tops still look new. Very water proof doe a pair of loafers. lol

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

FDIC prepares for more bank failures Posted: 8/31/2008 6:26:42 PM
Thank you very much for that tip. I think I'll polish up my resume. As a former Federal Reserve Bank guy and a Realtor now, a job career change for me to the FDIC might be perfect.

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Don't throw away those pennies! Posted: 8/31/2008 6:23:25 PM
Man I hare pennies. The best thing the gov could do is tell everyone from now on they are worth ten cents. No more throw away for me! Until then they hit the trash can. Sorry to say it.

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

A New Cold War? Posted: 8/31/2008 6:19:43 PM
Russia is stepping up the pressure. Obama will put a stop to it.

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

A great catch on the rebound? Posted: 8/31/2008 2:25:41 PM
Thank you Marianina, I think you are pretty much on target identifying the situation. I've known her six weeks! Love at almost first sight and funny thing is what was attractive to me had a lot to do with her sadness and how she is still able to be wonderful and upbeat in the world and in personal interactions despite what she is going through. I really root for those that have sadness in their lives. It really is the job I should be doing. Psychologist, life coach or priest. Missed my calling. She's also quite nice looking and looks more beautiful to me every time I see her. So loving is a risk. If you lose you are hurt and hurt the other too. If you don't seek you are lonely and even if living by yourself with yourself is OK and full of possibilities... well I think think when you feel a strong connection in a short time you need to explore it or else you will be forever wondering for having not. In her case I've certainly done some exploring. I'll follow your advice and keep another social life apart from her, but still give her friendship and support. That may be enough for me. I'll get to see her grow into her happiness again. That will be something that will give me a lot of happiness myself. Maybe there is someone else out there for me. I need to keep an open mind about that. If I can tell her to forget him because there is another soul mate waiting for her right here (meaning me in this conversation) then I would be a hypocrite if I said there couldn't be another one for me. The timing is wrong now for her, but knowing her is a blessing for me. She's encouraging me to date others and says that if I find someone else she will be happy for me. All the talking is done pretty much. She knows how I feel and I know what she's feeling... The friends part is just beginning. Wake me up in six months or a year and I'll tell you more.

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

A great catch on the rebound? Posted: 8/29/2008 5:14:48 PM
Hello all. I would appreciate if if you would post success stories and insights on how to hangout with/friend/date/marry a woman you've met who was recently "let go" from a failed long term relationship when he suddenly left! She has her wits about her and genuinely cares for me even though she is clearly distraught and in grief over losing her b/f of four years rather abruptly about 4 months ago. We see each other a couple of times a week and email a couple of times a day. I really am very very fond of her and am "going slow". So, has anyone navigated these waters and lived to see the happy ending?

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Your Dreams Posted: 7/29/2008 4:48:05 PM
Mine are at daybreak and detailed. I rarely remember them. But sometimes I do. I was interested in dating someone who was dumped by her husband and she lost custody of her kids. It didn't make sense to me why. So ? I had heared a sermon about staying away from divorced women - Proverbs 5 or maybe 7. That night in a dream my sister took me to the steps of a brothel and had me peak inside. There she was, this woman, sneaking from room to room! A guy came out and said I should stay away from her, she's dead to you. Can't get more real than that!

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

Primitive Alien Life May Exist, Stephen Hawking Says Posted: 7/29/2008 12:35:54 PM
It's not primitive life that interestes me. I'm looking for a cure for disease and of course, death. Beam me up.

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

How do you ever date again? Posted: 7/29/2008 12:27:17 PM
Well... my DeLorean is available. You just set the date in the Flux Capicitor and go back. Where you made that left turn, go to the right this time. Can you do that? Will she let you try to recreate the moment and move off with you in a different direction this time? Worth a try. But if not, dial it forward 5 years. Where do you see yourself? If it's a good place, if you have hopes and dreams alive in you, you"ll be all right. One day at a time. Try to step quicky. Life is short and won't wait.

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

My favorite quotes for an email signature Posted: 7/29/2008 12:18:47 PM
Emails are more important than that! But personal interaction and discussion through voice mode could be fine too, I think! I'll Google it and let you know... LOL

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Advanced Search Idea Posted: 7/29/2008 12:13:45 PM
I still think this is a good idea! On the other hand, if you try, you can find who you seek here. I think that's about where I am right now.

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

I'm going on a 2nd date with a rebound girl Posted: 7/29/2008 12:10:37 PM
Caper, Thank you for putting in a paragraph everything that's important. Good job.

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

I'm going on a 2nd date with a rebound girl Posted: 7/28/2008 4:10:27 PM
Thanks Deborah. My situation is one of having recently awakened to the possibility of relationship after a long sleep, that's true. "Polish some brass" means I'm a little rusty having slept away from relationships for so long. I had a brief encounter of five months or so starting last December with someone who it turned out wasn't right for me. At the time she really jostled my emotions, woke me up, got me thinking and feeling all those feelings long burried. Holding hands in church. She whet my appetite enough for me to begin seeking a long term relationship. I joined some internet dating sites, had a date or two but found no one to speak of - but have had a great time chatting and getting to know women from all walks of life. I made some cyber-friends. But to answer your question, I am not "raring to go" but I am ready to explore! I am hesitant, unsure of myself, a little shy- but getting better and doing what I need to do to gain confidence. Now I seek. It's a matter of orientation. Keeping the foot lights on so I can follow this path. But to reassure you, SLOW is what I know, friendship is what I know. My problem may be one of too much intimacy, no not physical intimacy, but that kind relating to sharing confidences, hopes, dreams. Man I can butt through those kind of walls. I need to be careful there. I seek... everything. So to be open to an opportunity, to go to a noisy smoky sports bar and dance for three hours! That was a big deal for me. Doing that to meet someone I like, who said she liked to dance and invited me to come, me knowing I would present as a inept dancer, but going anyway... I haven't danced more than ten minutes in years. I went. I enjoyed it even though I can't dance. Well, now I can dance - I'm rusty at it but I can. I did that for her and in doing so helped myself. Most of my experience is old old old. Most of my dreams are in my head and so perhaps not practical in the real world. I just hope I can find someone who is kind enough to let me flounder around a bit and make some mistakes. I would love to look back five years from now and remember that first date as I twirl her around effortlessy on a dance floor in a nightclub at 2:00 AM, in Paris. I go a little overboard in expressing my feelings. After just one date they are not so much true feelings about this person so much as they are feelings about faith and hope and good will built upon very brief glimpses of what I've seen in her. Perhaps for her this isn't good right now but on the other hand perhaps she will find comfort to know that another path may be open for her too. She's a bright woman. I don't have much to offer her unless she likes my dreams. If she has nothing to offer me now, well then at the least I've met another person who turns the lights on for me. I count that as a blessing.

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

I'm going on a 2nd date with a rebound girl Posted: 7/28/2008 2:04:49 PM
I wish to thank everyone for their comments. If my new friend should find herself here reading my questions and comments, I want to reassure her. I want to let you know I respect your interest in a friendship only relationship. My interest in you is genuine - I care about you and I won't push. Take your time, find your heart. Stay in touch with me. Fred

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

I'm going on a 2nd date with a rebound girl Posted: 7/26/2008 8:15:30 PM
Rebounds... For me a relationship of about four years ended ten years ago. That woman lives in the same town, otherwise nothing is remotely similar. So for ten years I've slept. No relationships until this past December. One I attempted but it didn't work out. Partly due to me going perhaps too slow but also because of huge personality clashes! At least I woke up. It took about 4 months to get real about that experiment and I'm only about three weeks past the decision to give that one up - even though I did just join her church. That's strange... yes, I learned and adopted a lot through being in her gravity for 6 or 7 months. Mostly finally doing or adding things to my life I already wanted like registering to vote, joining a health club, joining a church - stuff I'd been putting off doing. Now after this slumbering and a wakeup call, I want to date! So I meet a rebound girl who isn't ready. I'm a klutz who doesn't have a lot of skills but I'm willing to learn. I need her to lean on. It it all works out we could be amazingly happy. If not we'll both be better off in some ways, but she'll be let down and back to seeking, assuming she wanted it to work and I'll be still seeking too. This is a difficult one. Should I find someone who is more "ready" to begin a healthy relationship when I'm not quite ready? I'd like to help her. What does she want? Should I tell her?

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

I'm going on a 2nd date with a rebound girl Posted: 7/26/2008 6:55:02 PM
If she's low on cash right now and she shared that it's OK. I appreciate her honesty. Real estate is slow for me (my business) and I shared that. Not to counter her, but just to say how it is. Chemistry is certainly there for me. A first dance yes, but no slow ones. A hug upon coming and going. An arm on her shoulder... a touch now and then Followed by one long lonely sleepless night. It's so hard not to tell her.

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

I'm going on a 2nd date with a rebound girl Posted: 7/26/2008 4:55:44 PM
Advice please! I met a beautiful youn woman here, well at 55 not exactly yound but to me she looks 40, I'm almost 60. She is hurting - just 5 months out of a 5 year relationship with some guy who said he would marry her, but dumped her. She's moved back home from out of state where she was with him. Has her own place and is pretty broke. I met here here, sent a few emails back and forth. We met with a g/f of hers at a sports bar/dance club and had a great date! She said before we met she's not ready for anything right now because she's still thinking of him, but after meeting last nigh and dancing to the band for 3 hours she emailed me that she enjoyed herself and she wants to see me again to "talk". Her email arrived a split second after I'd sent mine to her saying I enjoyed myself and loved her eyes. I said enough to show interest. She said when we next meet we'll talk! So how can I help her forget this guy and move on, perhaps to settle in confy with me! I figure she has to see me as a knight in shining armour and I need to foster in her a need to polish some brass. I'm out of a relationship myself for ten years and have just begun dating. Why do I want almost the first person I see? Because the "Fish" is a good site? I know what I like. I like her. What should I you do? What would appeal to you? What signals would you send me and what would you want from me in return. This is only date number two and we haven't picked a place or something to do except it will be quiet and involve talking! I love her eyes and would swim there if I could do so without disturbing too much the waters behind them. I want to help her forget and come out of hiding, come back to life, and with me. I told her all that. And that she makes me smile until my face hurts. I want to dive in 100 feet deep in those eyes. All that sounds needy. We are needy. So I need a plan. Sweep her off her feet or go really slow? What to do? Call every day, email everyday, ignore her, wait until a new signal from her... What? This isn't a quiz. Only a way to start a discussion with you about dating and the early stages of it. It's a true story! Let me know what you think?

fred50

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Advanced Search Idea Posted: 6/30/2008 9:53:50 AM
I have my personality preferred match, my chemistry matchs, my needs, my wants as far as height location etc. Whay cant I search for all of these together? At least let me do personality and chemistry together! Thanks

Show ALL Forums