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bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Where is your technology degree from? What kind of reaction is it met with? Posted: 8/29/2009 10:37:38 PM
A whole generation of baby boomers is going to be retiring in 10-15 years, and that should be right about when I have reached an advanced level if I am going by my timeline. (2 yrs in school and 5-8 years experience). You're right about the baby boomers & IT.... I'm mid 40's and I'm on the younger side of who works there... Literally... The youngest guy in our department is 29.... After the dot com bust & all the outsourcing talk... A lot of people going into college lost their interest in IT because they perceived it as a dying American industry.... and that is leaving a huge gap in the work force I don't necessarily agree with your time-line though. Especially if you were to get an MCSE within 6 months and started working (IT has held up fairly well in the struggling economy)... Someone should be expected to be reaching a senior level admin skill set roughly between 3-5 years.... Most definitely before 7 years And yes... the market your in makes a huge difference in how much opportunity is available... Houston... Boston... New York... Chicago... LA... San Fran.... Even N.C. are all great areas to be living in for job opportunities

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Where is your technology degree from? What kind of reaction is it met with? Posted: 8/29/2009 9:34:33 PM
If you don't mind me asking, what areas/new trends in IT would be helpful to know for getting a position or working as a Systems/Network Administrator? And I'm curious to know what certifications/training you think might give someone a head start in Network/Systems Administration...are UNIX/Linux Certs/Training high in demand Well... To say your interested in Network/Systems administration isn't really enough in my opinion... I'd suggest you narrow it down a bit and focus on that... Now My emphasis is Security... there are a ton of security compliance required these days... HIPPA... PCI... just to name two... And more and more medium, to large corporations are requiring IT people with security related skills.... plus it's not that difficult to get into the Security part of the industry if your motivated and know what your doing But to get specific.... For an entry level person... the MCSE from Microsoft is pretty much a must have... Any entry level job you'd be qualified for would most certainly require Microsoft skills.... After that.... Red Hat Linux is extremely popular... so the Red Hat certs would probably be the second one I'd suggest you pursue.... Also, any security cert's could do nothing but help... Security+... CEH (Certified Ethical Hacker) are the big two.... the CISSP is huge these days too... but I personally don't put much stock into it.... Cisco's CCNA would be extremely helpful.... Also... There are Red Hat, and Cisco security certifications available... So what I would suggest... get your MCSE... Your Red Hat & Cisco cert's... that should be enough to land an entry level job somewhere... After that... I'd recommend the Security certs and specialize Anyway... feel free to ask what ever you want... I'll try to give you the best answer I can Rocketroller 'd recommend people think twice, maybe 3 x before choosing a career in IT. Things were great heading into the year 2000. Since then, salaries have dropped precipitously This is true up to a point in my opinion.... After 2000/2001.... Things did dry up pretty bad till about 2003-2004... and salaries aren't quite what there use to be... while I might not be making the sort of income I was around 2001-2002... I'm still making the kind of income I was towards the end of the 90's-early 2000... which is still pretty damn good for a guy with only a high school education

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Where is your technology degree from? What kind of reaction is it met with? Posted: 8/29/2009 1:36:45 PM
I've been in the IT field for 21 years, and have been working as a UNIX Security Engineer at a huge International corporation for the last 3 years... I also lack a degree.... So from my perspective... a degree in the IT industry isn't a requirement for success as a technology worker Most of the people that I know in the IT field don't have a computer science degree... Now I do have a cousin that graduated from MIT with a computer science degree... lol... But that's a different story... Of the people I've worked with that do have a degree, most have emphasized some sort of business degree to assist their ambitions to break into management. Of the people I do know that have degrees in computer science... most have been from traditional 'brick & mortar' colleges, but I know a couple that have gotten degrees from on-line educators like University of Phoenix.... And I can't say there have been any noticeable differences between their careers that I can see. A college degree is good if your trying to start a career in the IT field, but as technology advances, it means less due to newer standards... At that point Certifications pick up where a higher education levels off. They are a way for IT works to show employers that they have kept up with the changes out there.... Certifications are also a good way for someone to break into the IT field Depending on someones ambitions.... I would recommend doing a little research to figure out what part of IT interests them (Administration vs Developer)... If Administration interests them.... Then breaking into the IT industry is a bit easier as Certifications are an inexpensive and quick way to show an employer you have at least some entry level skills

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 50 (view)

Super Black Hole Question Posted: 8/27/2009 7:02:43 PM
anyone know if black holes die? or do they remain in forever getting bigger as the continue to consume. Or do they have a breaking point where they die? Yes.... sometimes depending on which theory is correct Black holes can, theoretically evaporate as a result of Hawkins radiation. This radiation does not come directly from the black hole itself, but by the gravitational field surrounding a black hole... Which is so strong that it causes the spontaneous production of photon pairs... and as a result virtual particles are created by the black hole's gravitation. Virtual particles do exhibit some of the characteristics of real particles, like they obey the laws of conservation... but in the simplest terms, you can think of the virtual partials as matter/anti-matter. As this process occurs, what is known as 'vacuum fluctuations' cause the particle-antiparticle pair to appear close to the event horizon of a black hole. One of the pair falls into the black hole whilst the other escapes. As particle-antiparticle pairs appear , the black hole loses mass, and, to an outside observer, it would look as if the black hole has just created a particle. In reality, the process is a quantum tunneling effect, whereby particle-antiparticle pairs will form from the vacuum, and one will 'tunnel' outside the event horizon. As Einstein teaches us... E = mc²... and as particles escape, the black hole loses a small amount of its energy and therefore some of its mass (mass=energy). All black holes are believed to emit Hawking radiation at a rate inversely proportional to their mass. Now with all this in mind... it is all theoretical as a regular black hole (of about 3 solar masses) cannot lose all of its mass within the lifetime of the universe. Astronomers have recently been searching for smaller black holes known as primordial black holes, which would have an evaporation time is 2.667 billion years. Black holes with very small mass would eventually experience a runaway evaporation effect, and 'die' in a massive burst of radiation and explosion. General relativity predicts the smallest primordial black holes would have evaporated by now, but if there is a fourth spatial dimension... as predicted by string theory... it would affect how gravity acts on small scales General relativity only apply if laws of gravity are approximately valid all the way down to the Planck scale. If string theory is correct, and extra dimensions are present.... Then gravity is capable of 'leaking' out of our dimension, and subsequently slowing down the process of evaporation. Currently, CERN is getting ready to bring the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator, Large Hadron Collider (LHC), on line. The purpose of the LHC is to test various predictions of high-energy physics, including the existence of the hypothesized Higgs boson particle, and and various other particles predicted by supersymmetry. Part of the controversy surrounding the LHC are fears that the LHC particle collisions might produce doomsday phenomena, involving the production of stable microscopic black holes or the creation of hypothetical particles called strangelets. The fear surround strngelets is that if it comes in contact with ordinary matter such as Earth, it could convert the ordinary matter to strange matter. This "ice-nine" disaster scenario follows a pretty simple domino effect.... One strangelet hits the nucleus of ordinary matter, which catalyzes the conversion of ordinary matter into strange matter ... and as ordinary matter is converted into strangelets... The process speeds up exponentially... Eventually converting all the ordinary matter on earth into strange matter. lol... anyway... to answer your question... DO black holes 'die'? Maybe... sometimes

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

Twinkle twinkle little black hole Posted: 8/26/2009 9:32:31 PM
“It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn't matter how smart you are. If it doesn't agree with experiment, it's wrong.” And it's as simple as that really... I couldn't disagree more... History is filled with examples where a theory was correct but the experiment was wrong!!! For example... The Russian Chemist Dmitri Mendeleev developed the modern Periodic Table of elements in in the late 1860's. At the time the elements were categorized by chemical properties, not atomic weight. Mendeleev recognized that the elements should be rearranged into the Periodic Table table by atomic weight. By rearranging the elements, he was able to predict the existence of heavier elements that had not yet been discovered. People dismissed Mendeleev for his prediction, and there were several incidents of where scientists had thought they discovered elements of different atomic weights than Mendeleev predicted. As scientific techniques became more sophisticated, he was eventual proven to be correct when Gallium (Ga) and Germanium (Ge) were discovered in 1875 and 1886 respectively, fitting perfectly into the two missing spaces. Just because an experiment does not produce the expected results does not mean the theory itself is worng

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

Twinkle twinkle little black hole Posted: 8/26/2009 9:14:28 PM
How is that Black holes can be classified in the same manner as say an up quark with respect to spin and charge and yet literally be at complete opposite ends of the scale? Even though String theorists are attempt to construct a unified description of quantum mechanics and general relativity, I wouldn't try to make a connection between a black hole and a quark or other elementary particles simply because the share similar traits like spin, and charge. If gravity has been defined as an effect of mass in space time and not subject to direction or time itself why isn't it that waves don’t form both positive and negative "pressure" in front or behind of an object in motion through space time. You getting into a slippery slope on the subject of gravity... As scientists still aren't sure what gravity is.... But they do know that quantum theory is not compatible with general relativity, and that something must regulate the behavior of gravity near the Planck scale..... String theory predicts the existence of a theoretical particle "gravitons." As scientist speculate that gravitons are expected to be electrically nuetral... similar to the neutrino... Which is able to pass through ordinary matter... But unlike a neutrino... a graviton is expected to be without mass.. and should not interact directly on a body with mass... but should only be affected by other fields of gravity But what's important here is not to confuse the idea of a "gravity waves" with "gravity the force". Gravity waves, which is composed of gravitons, do not carry the gravitational force, they carry information about changes in the gravitational field.

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

Super Black Hole Question Posted: 8/26/2009 6:29:20 PM
Since the event horizon is not a "physical boundary" (it's merely a limit from which light can't escape), let's fire our rocket engines and dip down just under the event horizon. Now we continue to orbit the black hole... but with a slightly higher speed (perhaps 71% the speed of light). Finally, we use our rocket engines to increase our orbit back to where it was... and we are once again above the event horizon, traveling at our original speed. While the event horizon might not be a "physical boundary", it is still a boundary where physics, as we understand it, breaks down. The event horizon represents a region of space where the singularity of a black hole has caused the region of spacetime around it to become infinately warped. ... preventing escape from it at any velocity. Since traveling faster than the speed of light is impossible (As a particle with mass approaches the speed of light, its energy increases and becomes infinite at the speed of light)... Escaping from a black hole once the event horizon has been breached is impossible. But for the sake of argument, if you could survive getting close enough to the event horizon you could cross it, time would dilate and slow down due to the extreme gravitation forces that caused spacetime to warp to begin with... Looking outwards towards regular spacetime.... time outside your position would appear to be running much faster, and you would watch the evolution of the universe "flash" before you eyes as you attempted to escape.

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

Why do women find criminals hot? Posted: 8/25/2009 11:37:04 PM
Well..... not being a woman I can only speculate... but I've gone threw my 'good guy'/'bad boy' cycles.... so I can tell you what I've seen from that angle In American society, boys are taught that little girls want to be princesses and meet their prince.... and we're taught that women are the care givers of society and to treat them with caring... love... respectful... and attentiveness... and men grow up... as a whole.... putting women on pedestals From what I've experienced.... some women get bored with that mentality... and some of them... not all... get tired of being seen in that role... and find it emotionally attractive to find a man that's a challenge... a man that doesn't give into them or to be treated less like a princess... and they get into being treated more like a wh*re and get off on the ideas of being "used" by a man I think as a general rule of thumb.... most contemporary women dip their toes in the 'bad boy' end of the swimming pool just to see how it is these days... I'd say most get over it pretty quickly though.... and realize its a losing proposition in the long run... There are those women though that just seem to be predisposed to the 'bad boy' type though The 'bad boys' general don;t have anything to give in the long run... and the women who are into them on a regular basis don;t have anything to give My advice to you... just be yourself...

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 73 (view)

Those on again off again relationships? Posted: 8/25/2009 9:35:26 PM
i've been in a couple of relationships like that when i was in my mid to late 20's... and then it was more about the control than anything else... the last relationship like that was about 1 1/2 yrs long... and completely exhausted me by the time it was finally said and done... i learned my lesson and got over those control issues and simply started to look for relationships i enjoyed being in

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 254 (view)

Leagues do not exist Posted: 8/25/2009 9:30:22 PM
There is nothing about any woman that makes her so superior to me in her existence that I am forbidden to make my play. lol.... with that in mind... a bug eyed humpback midget with hygiene issues has a shot with you? Of course there are "leagues"... Or criteria people have for others... Some are based on looks... Some are based on money... Some are based on religion or race... The only question is do you have what it takes get get them to see threw their criteria and get them to accept you as being in the same part of the potential gene pool as they are

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

The art of breaking up Posted: 8/25/2009 9:16:15 PM
Here is my guide to breaking up... Follow this and you can't go wrong A couple of dates or slept with her less than 3 times - No call... Avoid hers Dated for under 3 months or slept with her less than 10 times in a non-monogamous relationship: Take her calls... But make excuses for why you haven't called... Make non-committed plans with option that you might not make it then blow off the plans... Suggest a 3-some with her and her best friend... Show up late after blowing her off... Have sex with her... Then leave... Do repeatedly until she quits calling Dated for under a year or slept with her semi-regularly in a monogamous sexual relationship for an extended period of time: Be a jerk... Blow her off... Be demanding with your time... Insult her family... Tell her her ass is getting big... Tell her her ideas are stupid... Casually let her know your not into a serious relationship... Let her catch you flirting with her cute friends or sister... Suggest a 3-some with her and her best friend... Do repeatedly until she quits calling Dated for over a year or in a long term monogamous sexual relationship: right after a romantic night out and after sex... give her the "It's not you... Its me" line... Make sure to have this conversation at your house so you get to go to bed after she leaves

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Virginity. Posted: 5/31/2009 2:27:42 AM
Is virginity a deal-breaker/turn off? not if it's the right guy for you while i can't say i understand your choice... i certainly do respect it... but i would like to ask two questions i would be curious to know... how would you gauge when someones right to have sex with? you mentioned being comfortable with someone before you could have sex... what does that mean to you? and my second question is more of an assumption i'm wondering about... does that mean no sexual contact at all with a boyfriend? no petting? no oral? etc...

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

How often do you masturbate to the thoughts of somebody that is not your significant other? Posted: 5/31/2009 2:01:24 AM
but why masturbate at all if you have a significant other? cause sometimes sex is to much work when you want to rub a quickie out & take the 'edge' off

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 75 (view)

Casual blowjobs Posted: 5/31/2009 1:54:29 AM
If I don't want a relationship out of the guy then I'm more likely to give a casual BJ, because I don't care if he calls me the next day. Actually, I probably would prefer he didn't. A casual BJ... and i don;t have to call you ever again? lol... I love the 21st century in America

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

Uncomfortable Date Posted: 5/31/2009 1:29:10 AM
well.... first off... you're pretty cute... so i would get over any idea of "he was out of my league".... If anything it sounds like you out classed him with your manners Second... bouncers aren't exactly known for their personal skills... and it sounds like he was just as tool & a beat off Third... chemistry on-line doesn't always translate to chemistry in person... i've met people i found attractive but just didn't know what to say fourthly... if you ever drive a ways to met someone you don't know very well... lol... buy a map

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 246 (view)

Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work Posted: 5/31/2009 1:12:12 AM
The talking while driving sounds like its just something he doesn't do... if he doesn't do it with anyone else... i'd say its just your pet peeve as far as talking at work... i refuse to take personal calls while at work and i won't pick up my cell at all... in my opinion work is work... if you need to contact me there... then it better be an emergency

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

Do Cheaters Regret or Reform Posted: 5/31/2009 12:49:17 AM
I'm sure I'll take a lot of grief over this... but I'd say the topic of cheating is a little deeper than the black & white or good vs. evil that I'm seeing here Have I cheated? Yep... Did i regret it? That depended on the woman and the relationship Some women I felt terrible afterward and never did it again.... There were some women that I was in a casual relationship and just 'dating', and sleeping with someone else made me realize that I really liked them a lot more than casually... Some women I did it over and over and never thought twice about it.... Some women I never cheated on because I was really into the relationship I'd say this topic is just various shades of grey about the motives and symptoms or moral dilemma

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 142 (view)

WER'S DA MOS FREAKY PLACE U'V EVA HAD SEX???????? Posted: 5/31/2009 12:18:20 AM
when i was 19... i got a BJ from a girl in the backseat of her parents car... WHILE her parents were driving.... PLUS... her dad was cop

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

how am i supposed to talk? Posted: 3/21/2009 9:00:11 PM
Well... first off... Are we talking about 2 girls doing this or 12? If it's only happened a couple of times I'd suggest it might be just a serious case of ego sting..... If it's happened 12 times... then you might want to think about what your saying to them and see if your acting appropriately... Second, were they expecting you to call when you did? If you called them the night they gave it to you, calling them so fast might, your "eagerness" might have caught them off guard... Thirdly... If they didn't pick up or reply back after your first phone call... cool your jets and give it a few days... It just could be that you caught them when their busy and can't pick up the phone at the time... Calling them the day you get the number and then the next day because you didn't get an answer migh come off as sort of pushy for a guy they just met off the internet Fourthly... and last... I personally have a two phone call rule... They might have something going on when i call the first time... So I'll give it a couple days then give them a second call... If they don't call back after that... Then its a message to move on

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

I have a dilemma with a female friend and I need some help Posted: 3/21/2009 6:59:18 PM
Gemini - Thanks for the advice... as i suspected... Even though she might have a pattern of destructive behavior... the problems mine... figured I'd re-post this since you apparently missed it... your ability for self inspection,and self enlightenment is staggering

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

I have a dilemma with a female friend and I need some help Posted: 3/21/2009 6:53:47 PM
Well... since we want to go quote happy But today I see her more like a little sister than anything else today... because I have have the insight to her that I think I have... Knowing her past with getting hurt with relationships and guys and how they seem to all end badly for her... It would seem wrong to sleep with her or date her because I already know it would end badly between us... And since you apparently need this one explained I wouldn't give a crap about asking what anyone else thinks and would just take advantage of her without worrying about her If i wanted to sleep with her... i would do it... and NOT concern myself with asking anyone the best way to be her friend... but I'll stick to my guns with what i see as a complete and utter misrepresentation on your part of what being human means

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

I have a dilemma with a female friend and I need some help Posted: 3/21/2009 6:41:57 PM
Slayer - you're a typical poster that cherry picks what ever comments are made to make your sad, and sorry point... and you have a bewildering insight to human compassion... I'm sorry I ever attempted to look for advice with a bunch of people that have nothing better to do than try and pick a fight

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

I have a dilemma with a female friend and I need some help Posted: 3/21/2009 6:22:03 PM
I will call spade a spade. wow... all the cynicism here is pretty sad... no, she's not "better" as you put it... she's a person that's very alone in the world and in a lot of pain... But unlike some of the posters... She's a very sweet, sensitive, and nice person who is struggling with finding her way in life... And for those that seemed to question my motives... She and I share a common upbringing with our mothers... they are both completely insane, and hateful people... i know, and understand what she went threw with the emotionally, and verbally abused she grew up with... and we share very similar ways they tried to hurt us... I see, and understand, what sort of pain she feels and I know how it can affect someone when you're as alone as she is... I worked threw my own self destructive phase in my life... but it took a long time.... and I wound up putting myself threw a lot of self fabricated crap that was unnecessary... if I can figure out how to help her avoid the sort of crap I went threw I would like to do that... And I'd like to throw in my own commentary for some of the poster... it's sad as hell that people can't simply accept that someone can care for someone else with out wanting to use them sexually... As far as my "mentoring" her for the opportunity to get into her pants... if I was that kind of person... I wouldn't give a crap about asking what anyone else thinks and would just take advantage of her without worrying about her

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

I have a dilemma with a female friend and I need some help Posted: 3/21/2009 5:55:56 PM
Slayer - Yes, I love this girl... And I know I love this girl... I "investigated" her, as you put it, so well because we initially had a lot of strong chemistry and "connected" hard and got to know each other very well very quickly... But today I see her more like a little sister than anything else today... because I have have the insight to her that I think I have... Knowing her past with getting hurt with relationships and guys and how they seem to all end badly for her... It would seem wrong to sleep with her or date her because I already know it would end badly between us... Knowing how she was kicked around as a kid by her mother... and used by guys in the past... and seeing how sweet, sensitive, and nice she is today... I simply want to root for her to succeed in life Be that person that she can learn to lean on and trust. She'll learn, that even with her flaws and issues, you still care and she'll open up more and be honest with you more and more. Honesty is a hard thing, especially if you've grown up in an environment where you're rewarded for lies and punished for truths. Gemini - Thanks for the advice... as i suspected... Even though she might have a pattern of destructive behavior... the problems mine... And one that i need to come to grips with it... I guess then I need to ask... How do I be that friend that she can lean on and trust... and not be a "dick" (As she said) and point out the inconsistencies I see in her life and what she wants for herself? From everything I've seen about her since she started opening up to me... Is that she wants someone that's willing to look the other way with her and ignore the things that i think most people take for granted as far as honesty goes... not that she's a compulsive liar or anything... but just that she seems to be in a lot of self denial about her behavior and how that's ruining her chances to get what she really wants in life

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

I have a dilemma with a female friend and I need some help Posted: 3/21/2009 5:10:16 PM
Hello... and thank all in advance who might help shed a little light on the situation I have I 'm friends with this girl... Who's in her early 20's... and is extremely sweet and nice... There have been a lot of romantic overtones, and flirting, and a lot of one on one time over the last 4-5 months I've known her.... But for the most part we're just really good friends... and I really care about her beyond any sort of sexual desire I've gotten to know her pretty well and she's shared a lot of her past with me... And it was pretty brutal from what she's told me... Her mom is completely insane the way I understand it... and was extremely cruel and mean to her growing up... And has pretty much gone on out of her way to hurt and humiliate her every chance she gets... And I think its really messed her up a lot more than comes across when you first meet her Now my dilemma is that I've gotten to know her to well... initially she was pretty guarded and cautious about what she shared with me... but learned to trust me pretty quickly... and I'm beyond the surface stuff, and over the last couple of months she's started sharing what she's thinking and doing Since then I've been seeing a lot of self destructive behavior with her... Which mostly relates to her not being able to deal with life and a behavior of running from her pain and problems... and her need to be accepted and feel loved... Most of which I attribute to the way she was raised... But the two biggest things I see is shes constantly trying to run from anything that scares her, or she doesn't understand.... and basically what i would consider "real" emotions... and she can't seem to address things like that without freaking out... and then who she finds herself attracted too... Which she sort of seems to be caught in a catch-22 with guys One of the regular topics of discussion between us... And a regular theme of what she wants to talk about is she that she wants a sweet, and loving guy... And we've talked over how she approaches guys, and relationships in the past... Unfortunately she has problems looking at things that hurt... And I don't think she's at a point in her life where she can see how she's made mistakes with them in the past.... But I honestly believe she knows deep down she approaching them wrong for what she wants in life... Because she seems to have intimacy and some serious self esteem issues... she is constently running from her problems , and pain... and she seems to push "nice guys" away and gravitate towards the guys that don't care about her, and are only interested in using her... Since I "get" her... I get her attraction to guys like this... and because of how she deals with life... She initially see's guys like this as fun and fits into what i think is her need to be distracted from the pain of her life... Unfortunately... the more I get to know her, and see her behavior... the more frightened I am for her and what the future may hold for her... Things sort of came to a head last week when I caught her in a stupid lie... Which pretty much hurt me because it was over something so stupid... When I tried to bring the subject up... and she got upset with me and stuck to her guns about the lie even though I know for a fact it's BS... She's sort of taken the stance with me that if I cared then I would simply accept her... Things sort of spiraled out of control at that point and I tried to tie everything together for her by explaining that the people that really care about her are the ones that are going to be hurt buy small things like this... And its the guys that don't care about her that are just going to "accept" her and what she says and does by looking the other way... Which she pretty much freaked out and shut down on me and didn't want to hear anything i said after that... So I'm at that point I was unsure what to do or say to her about things... if anything... but i really like, and care for her, beyond any sort of sexual desire... and sincerely want whats best for her... Can anyone suggest a way to explain to her what I see as a friend? I really like her and think she has a lot of potential in life... but I'm concerned that if I try to breach the topic again it's just going to cause her to pull away

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

Does good looks triumph every time? Posted: 11/19/2008 10:31:54 PM
when i was younger... and dumber... looks & hot body were pretty much what grabbed me at first... And because I was younger... dumber... and shallower than I am today... I was willing to look the other way on a lot of insane crap... But after I went threw the same insane crap over and over with different women... I learned that what's on the outside isn't nearly as important as what's on the inside... Today I don't need to super hot woman... If she's cute... knows how to carry herself... and is honestly sweet... thats all that matters

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 89 (view)

Would you date someone who has had an orgy with 3+ men? Posted: 11/19/2008 10:12:23 PM
well... it is the 21st century and women have the right to make a "mistake" if they want. If I would stay with would just sort of depend on several factors... I mean did it happen 3 years ago? or 3 months ago? what sort of decision making ability does she have today? Does she seem to have a lot of "mistakes" she's embarrassed about? Does she have a lot of drama in her life? Is she stable with work? Friends? Family? I mean like people have said... You don't date someones past... But I would approach it and her with a little reserved caution... I wouldn't necessarily see it as the "writing on the wall" or anything... but it would cause me to open my eyes Also... I think I would take a look at how serious are you guys are for clues as to how I would feel about this... I mean did she fessed up after just a couple of dates and it just came out verses a couple of months of serious dating and she wanted to make sure to clear the air... I mean if you guys are serious and she told you that's one thing... But if it just came out after a couple of weeks of dating I'd stop and wonder why she would say anything Like a lot of things this isn't a cut & dry sort of thing... People does stupid crap all the time so I wouldn't judge her to harshly... But on the flip side if I was her I would have kept my mouth shut... I mean I'm not looking down on her for what she did... But I just know people tend to judge things pretty harshly when it comes to sex stuff

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 228 (view)

Being Choked while having sex Posted: 9/25/2008 12:25:52 AM
Did it once and I'd never do it again... It was at her request (She wouldn't go into details except to say she had done it before and enjoyed it)... So I gave it a shot... About 5 minutes into it... her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she was out... Only for like 30 seconds... But it freaked the ever luven crap out of me... I thought I killed her for a second... When she came to and shook it off she was pretty pissed that it went as far as it did and she passed out... She knew I had never done anything like that before but felt I should have known when to stop... it was a VERY unnerving incident

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

Have you slept with a partner's parent?????? Posted: 9/25/2008 12:20:39 AM
her fiance and her had been involved sexually with both his father and the father's girlfriend! ohhhhhhhhhhh man....... I'm laughing so hard my side hurts!!!! Wow........ I bet that trailer park was a happening place to be at on a Saturday night... lol.... Get grandma & grandpa in the deal and it's a real family affair.... Man... I pride myself on being un-shockable... But that one woke me up........ The part of this story I find so amazing is why would this woman cop to it if she didn't have to??? lol... whats this chick thinking telling someone about it??? There's a time and a place for a confession but I'd have to say this story would have done her best to take to the grave with her

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 122 (view)

Most Wild Place You Had sex! Posted: 9/25/2008 12:08:49 AM
Well... it wasn't public but it was the most daring spot I have yet to hear of... When I was 19 I got a BJ from this girl in the back seat of her parents car while they drove (Her dad was a cop on top of it all)... It was late and had been a long day... I went with them on a family vacation and we were driving back... I'm guessing it was around 11:00 PM at night She laid her head down in my lap to take a nap and being young, dumb and full of c*m as they say... I got hard... and back then when I got hard my brain seized up... The next thing you know... I pulled it out and stuck it in her face... She kept shaking her head "no"... But I just left it there until she went down on me... lol... I kept watching her mom (who was in the passenger seat) and waited for her to turn around... Which never happened thank god... lol... The whole deed must have taken about 5 minutes to complete

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

Y do men always do this or does it just happen 2 me??? Posted: 9/25/2008 12:00:13 AM
but when i ask most friends they are shocked as it doesnt happden 2 them your friends are BS'ing you babe... Guys are guys and we all try the same tricks on either side of the pond... They just don't want to admit it for some reason

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

Is it cheating . . . . . . Posted: 9/24/2008 11:30:00 PM
Men, would you look at it as your girl cheating on you if you walked in on her pleasuring herself? lol... then i've talked a lot of ex's into cheating on me... Cause I love watching a woman "pleasuring" herself and have talked a lot into masturbating for me while I watch... The wife is a just trying to torture the guy cause she caught him jerking off to hot girls in porn... She needs to get over herself cause EVERYONE masturbates

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 274 (view)

is it rape if... Posted: 9/24/2008 11:22:06 PM
While I wouldn't want to be in his shoes while America is in this fry them till their dead mentality about anything resembling a sexual offense... It doesn't sound like rape to me... But what do I know... I'm not a lawyer or a cop... But it does sounds like a dirt bag move at best I'd suggest that being uncomfortable with what what happened the next morning doesn't constitute rape though... It seems to me that if you didn't want to be with him it was your responsibility leave and not get drunk

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

i don't get it Posted: 9/24/2008 11:06:59 PM
I looked at your profile because I had a suspicion you were younger (23)... And if your dating guys your age... I'd suggest it's probably just a selfish young guy thing... I mean the world revolves around a younger guy and his "package"... It's not that I disliked going down on a woman when I was younger... Just that I wasn't able to think of anything other than me & my pecker for the longest time... and didn't start to lose that selfish guy thing until my mid to late 20's... that's when I realized I enjoyed going down on a woman... And I suspect that as you get older... The guys you date will work their way out of that selfish thing... So either find a girl friend or start dating older guys is my suggestion... lol... cause by my math you got another 3-4 years of waiting

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 684 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 8/25/2008 11:19:15 PM
I was wondering if anyone had dated or is currently in a relationship with someone with BPD yeah... I had the misfortune of dating someone with BPD for about 6 months if so what are some of your experiences terrible... horrific... insane... painful... And those were the good days.... lol... If I spent every waking moment kissing her ass, and telling her how great she was, and letting her have her way all the time, and never disagreeing with her, and putting up with mood swings from hell... Then she was great... But as soon as she didn't get what she wanted, or felt she had been disrespected in even the slightest, most insignificant way... she'd go out of her way to make my life miserable, and could justifying heaping as much pain, drama, and BS onto me as humanly possible without a second thought We met off the internet and it basically turned into an extended one night stand (Sexual promiscuity is a BPD trait)... At first it was about a lot of cool, fun, kinky sex... But after a few months it really started to get disturbing and dark... Then I noticed that her whole "reality" was dark, disturbing, and pretty messed up... At first I thought it was something I could "fix" by treating her nice, and better... But the better I treated her the harder she became to get a long with... She'd pick fights over the most insignificant things... And not just fights, but knock down drag out hate fests that would last hours... I'm not a violent man... and she'd get in my face and taunt me, practically beg me, to beat her (self mutilation is a BPD trait... but she didn't do it... But I think her desire for me to beat her was a form of it... Which I never did)... After our fights, she'd play the craziest mind games to try and sabotage my life, work, and friendships... it was some of the craziest experiences I ever had After reaching my breaking point, she fessed up that she had been diagnosed with BPD when she was in her mid-20's... And followed up with a horrific story about being sexually abused for years by her older brother (Sexual abuse is common among BDP'ers)... Once I heard this it kept me around a few more months... But her behavior consistently became more spiteful, and hateful... About the only time she seemed sane was when she was drunk (Alcoholism is another BPD trait) how do you cope? how did it end up? Initially I kept telling myself she could change if I was "there for her"... In the end I figured out that this is one twisted mental disorder and nothing that was ever going to change in her... After 6 months I finally had to get out To date... She's the only ex I would run the other way from if I saw her... If your involved with a BPD'er get out now... run fast... don't say goodbye... leave your things behind..... never go back!

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 294 (view)

Why would anyone want to date you? Posted: 8/25/2008 10:45:16 PM
lol... because I have a 3 lbs shlong and a 9" tongue

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 572 (view)

would guys date a female cop? Posted: 8/25/2008 10:14:56 PM
I'd take a pass personally... Perhaps not for the most rational reasons... I was stalked by a couple women back in the day and had one ex that was one of the most spiteful women on the planet... Mix that with a couple of bad experiences with a few cops when I was younger (I know that's the exception rather than the rule) and the two equate out to a lot of potential, and unnecessary risk to me I mean come on... The idea of leaving a new g/f in your house alone for the first time is stressful enough from the idea of the "snooping" factor... Dating someone that could potentially look up everything you, your friends (male AND female), or your family ever did would freak me out a little to much... I wouldn't be concerned from a "criminal" stand point... But just a privacy one.... It's got way to much of a look-over-your-shoulder thing going on... And then compound that with the "potential" nightmare of a spiteful g/f (or ex-g/f) that happened to be a cop and the idea of dating one would be to much for me

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 476 (view)

Why do Babes dig ugly guys? Posted: 8/25/2008 10:00:15 PM
saw this beautifull blond woman, twenty-something, walking with this guy. I checked her out she checked me out, then the guy said something to her and took her hand! Dude... whats the matter with you... Don't you realize that she really wanted to be with you? ??? Shessssss... You could have been her savior from a life time of "ugly"... lol... I mean come on... There MUST be something wrong with her if she'd rather be with a zero like him rather than be with a hero like you!!! And how do you know while she was "checking you out" she wasn't thinking "Why's that ugly a$$h0le checking me out?"... Who are you to judge what beauty is? Maybe the guy was short, fat, bald, broke, and ugly... lol... He might have been packing 10" of meat between his legs... lol... What are you carrying around? Lastly... lol... Why the hell would you even care???

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 125 (view)

His Daughter Was in Charge Posted: 8/25/2008 9:06:01 PM
I married a man with a 12 year old daughter. We became very close. Her father was a sick man and abusive to both of us. When she attempted suicide I called him from the Emergency room. His response was Did the little **** die? The state stepped in and took her. She cried in my arms begging me to take her with me. damn... that one just ripped my heart out

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 124 (view)

His Daughter Was in Charge Posted: 8/25/2008 9:03:18 PM
You start to plan something with him and whoops.....he needs to ask his teenage daughter or preteen daughter if it will conflict with whatever she may have planned for them Sounds like pretty good parenting skills to me... I mean a parent should make theirs kids their first priority in my opinion... Now with that in mind... it's the exact same reason I don't like to date single mothers... I'm to selfish to want to share my time with a child... But it's my issue with the situation and not theirs so I wouldn't dream of expecting me or my wants to come over a womens child... So I usually don't date them... But like I said... It's all my issue and I know it

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

How do I re-establish trust? Posted: 8/25/2008 8:55:08 PM
ok... maybe you didn't have sex with her while she was with someone else... But it certainly sounds like there was "emotional cheating" going on there... Sounds to me like you want what you can't have and picked the one girl who was emotional unavailable enough to give you someone to pine over I personally agree with BigDaddyJinx in the sense that you need a good shaking to snap you out of this... Nothing you'll ever do will change her unless she wants to change... And I personally feel that waiting around on the sidelines hoping that she transformation into the perfect girlfriend is a suckers move By your own admission... She tries to make you jealous... and you find her behavior to be "vulgar and infantile"... Dude... She's got a ring threw your nose and she knows it... Do you really want to be that guy? Heres what you do... Go to your bathroom... Look yourself in the eye in the mirror... then give yourself a good slap to the face and say "I will not be a chump today!"

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 118 (view)

Is it prostitution when... Posted: 8/25/2008 7:42:31 PM
lol... what'll $10 get me?

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 73 (view)

Why more women arent whorish in bed Posted: 8/25/2008 7:37:42 PM
no offense... but it sounds like you're doing something wrong... like wait for them to take the lead in bed... and maybe just boring in the sack... cause it's been my experience that if you get a woman turned on, and hot enough... most are willing to do anything you want

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 52 (view)

From Russia, With Love???? Posted: 7/29/2008 11:58:04 PM
lol... first off... who say's it's really a woman???? A friend of mine was on lava life a few months ago and was getting pelted with e-mails from russia all the time.... lol... Some of the stories were pretty f*#king unbelievable too... lol... One woman was suppose to be a former model turned molecular biologist... lol... I kept trying to point out to him that the pictures & stories he was recieving were to go to be true... But he just got annoyed with me & kept corresponding with them At one point he thought one was coming to America to visit him and then he got the inevitable "I'm stuck in Moscow and someone stole all my money... Please help me!" e-mail... He needed a couple other similar sort of situations to happen before he wised up... Me... I'd delete it and forget about it

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 188 (view)

my date told me they were kinky but it was too much Posted: 7/29/2008 10:49:47 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......... thats the best laugh I've had all day!!!!

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Just curious... Posted: 7/29/2008 9:03:35 PM
I'd have to say my biggest pet peeve about some women are when they are stuck up or rude attitude towards others... I know this one woman who's flat out beautiful... But she literally thinks her looks are a reason to treat people like dirt... I don't think I've ever found her attractive after the first 30 minutes of listening to her talk Also... A chick thats a slob is unattractive as hell... I've dated a couple women that I've really liked and made it to their place and it was worst than some guy I know... One had a dog that she'd let crap in her apartment and wouldn't pick it up... It grossed me out to no end... Needless to say it was the last time I was ever at her house... lol... A filth car is boarder-line now that I think about it... Not just like it needs a wash & a good vacuum... but like it's a rolling garbage can grosses me out

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Guys, dropping the L word , too soon ...... Posted: 7/29/2008 8:49:16 PM
I'll be honest... I've said it at different points in relationships for different reasons... I've even gone the opposite way with it too and never saying it to one woman even though I was head over heels in love with her... After my divorce I found the word next to impossible to say... But it was one of those things I use to say when I was younger for all different types of reasons... To get laid... because I thought the girl wanted to hear it... to shut a woman up... and of course because I was in love... Haven't said it in a love time though

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 170 (view)

Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met Posted: 6/29/2008 2:56:42 PM
Oh yeah... I've had this happen to me! Right after my first divorce, about 12 years ago, I was doing a lot of on-line dating with women I met in a chat room I use to frequent. I'd say as many as 50% of the women sent me photos that were old. Mostly because of the weight issue, I'm guessing most had sent me photos of them before they had kids... I had some that had gained so much weight from the time the photo's were taken, they barely resembled their photo. I'm not a very confrontational guy, unless provoked, so I pretty much let it slide, and just never called them again after the date.

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 141 (view)

How bad is cheating on your partner? Posted: 6/29/2008 2:37:52 PM
I have also seen men accused of abuse when they were only defending themselves! Been there done that... Had an ex-g/f & my ex-wife would both get physically violent... Towards the end of my relationship with the ex-gf, she'd get pissed off and do anything she could to physically hurt me... The only time I ever smacked a woman was with her... She was biting the crap out of me and wouldn't stop... I smacked her to try and get her to let go... Ironically, she called the cops on me over it... Fortunately I had the bite marks to show them... They still didn't arrest her though... Fortunately, it was an insane enough day that it caused me to leave her My ex-wife started getting violent towards the end of our marriage too... She'd hear something she didn't like, and it would set her off.... But since it was my wife, I did the "guy" thing and just took it This problem is a lot more common than I think most people (women?) want to realize

bodisha1

Joined: 6/15/2008

Msg: 69 (view)

anyone ever turned a stripper into a girilfriend Posted: 6/29/2008 1:07:13 PM
I've fooled around with several strippers... Had a quasi long term on/off FB thing going on with one 15-16 yrs ago... Wound up going out on a cpl dates with one I met at the strip club, but the chemistry wasn't there... Even dated an "ex"-stripper, for about 6-8 months, but she couldn't stay away from the life style and would wind up doing the occasional bachelor party... It wasn't her part-time occupation that so much did us in, although I wouldn't say I was ever comfortable with it, but it was the partying & the drugs that went with it that killed our relationship... It was her admission of doing coke, or drinking with the customers that really bugged me I say once a girl gets the "stripper" in her blood, it's hard for them to stay away from the excitement it offers... Most strippers I've know were are really nice girls as far as their hearts went, but most had lousy ability to make decisions that usually seemed to revolve around a lot of drama.

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