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deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Best tips to creating a good profile Posted: 11/19/2009 8:42:33 AM
I helped write them. There's nothing wrong with my profile really.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Honesty in a profile Posted: 11/18/2009 12:57:46 PM
I feel sort of bad for you because you asked for a review this morning and still you sit without any takers. It’s okay, Uncle Hefe’s here to help. I was pleasantly surprised with your profile. Good headline, though a cheap attempt at a name, decent interests albeit a little short, great pictures; the basis for a great profile. I’m not sure if music is what pays the bills but if it’s not and it’s just a pipedream then please put what you do for a living in the profession spot. Also, because you have that aspiration, AND you smoke and don’t want children, you have really narrowed your pond down. That’s okay because you need to be true to yourself and can’t go lying about who you are nor should you. I’m just keeping it real, yo. Oh snap, you do drugs also! You my friend might be virtually fooked. Well here’s to hoping that’s not the case as you seem to have some charm to you. Try and add a few more pics and hopefully a close-up. Add a half dozen or so more interests and be sure to include a could unisex ones; it gives women something to relate to you with. Drop the first line of your about me section, and I’d get rid of the obsession part. Try passion. Music is a passion. Stalking people is an obsession. It just comes off poorly. It’s great that you are passionate about something though. I’d also drop the one goal in life part because that makes you sound narrow-minded in your ambitions as well. It also tells us you likely don’t make your living as a musician currently and are maybe not pleased with what it is that you do. Honesty is much better than diversion. You seem very negative about yourself throughout much of this diatribe. I like much of what you have but you just need to reframe it into a positive light. One thing I caution you is to not ramble about the same thing over and over, which you’ve done here. Five of the seven paragraphs are focused solely on music. There must be more to the man then that sir. Try again. If you can’t then shorten it and how about taking a crack at who you’re looking for. She obviously needs to get you but what else would you like to see in her, besides you? And lose that last line… we all know how to message and that’s why we’re here. The first date box needs to be pillaged and started fresh. How about telling her what you’d like to do on a first date?! Or a date period! Stay clear of movies and loud bars. Try dinner, activities, etc. Try these changes if you’d like and see how that takes you.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Best tips to creating a good profile Posted: 11/18/2009 12:40:25 PM
Here's a tip when in doubt... two in fact: either go and look at a bunch of other people's profiles to see what they are doing, or go to the top of this particular forum and you'll find a couple threads devoted specifically to what should and should not be in a profile. Tada!

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Profile Review Posted: 11/18/2009 12:27:54 PM
LOL You went and added three photos with you and pretty women. Good job! You may as well add one more of you with your shirt off in the mirror snapped by a cell phone while flashing a gang sign or something. It's the kiss of death. Better luck next time. :) Much better! Still room for improvement beyond the pics but it’s a great start. First off, get rid of the couch potato comment. NO ONE wants a couch potato! Also drop that whole paragraph about you not driving. It’s really not that important but if you put it up there you give them options to keep looking. If they are that concerned about it they’ll see that you don’t have a car and they’ll move on. You wouldn’t tell them all of your medical history for them to prejudge would you? Same idea. It doesn’t change who you are as a man. Also, lose the part of the first date about NOT going to a movie. Focus on what you would do rather than wouldn’t. Always remain positive, even in the indirect conversation.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

No replies or messeges = Profile Review lol Posted: 11/18/2009 11:40:18 AM
Well if your messages are anything like this original post then I can understand why they might just pass; it’s muddled, run together, and you took a while to get to the point. They want a decent message but they have others to read and frankly if you don’t capture and keep their attention quickly they often move on easily. With that said you’ve got some good framework for your profile but it definitely has issues. I’d switch up the headline to something a little more intriguing. When searching, a person sees a few items of your profile in the listing and this is one. Yours is tough to discern what it is you are singing. Your main picture is good but not as a main, though it is interesting so it might pull people in. It should be one of you looking at the camera and smiling. The issue I have with your pictures is that they look like they’re of three different people. Maybe address this when you add some more, and please do just that. Aim for all 8, as you are allowed 8 so use the space! Good job with the captions though! Switch the long term to dating, as most people who date are looking for long term in the future. At 28 the term long term can scare a lot of people upfront. Great job filling in all the blanks in the info columns; people hate indecisiveness and n/a’s. Super job on the interests; lots of interesting ones and some unisex points as well for a woman to grab onto and find common interest with! I would delete everything in your About Me before Currently… it’s fluff and of no value. I wouldn’t start with that line about your job though so maybe think of something else creative to lead with. I’m not sure I would emphasize your desires to drive the zamboni too strongly either. I’m not saying it’s not a great job but there are many who won’t understand it and will think it’s a silly thing to strive for. The way it reads to me is you currently work a good, important job with the government but you hope to give it all up for a rink job where you can hang out around your sport of choice all day. Just an observation. In your about her paragraph you ramble off a laundry list of things you don’t want and things you would accept. How about putting a positive spin on it and saying the things you want or would like in someone and leaving the rest to be discussed later? If you don’t want those who do drugs then put that in your mail filters. I’d also keep away from telling them that your simple and such. Simple often equates to boring. Are you boring? Delete that first date box and try again. Put something down. Most women like a man who can make a decision and take charge. So tell her what you’d like to do on a first date. Also, stay away from inviting correspondence. We all know how to message and that is the aim of this process. So make some changes and you’ll fare much better me thinks. I’d aim for better pics first and foremost, and ones that are a little more congruent.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Profile Review Posted: 11/18/2009 10:15:46 AM
Did you mean to say colossal one and not colossusone? The former makes much more sense. Try and be a little more creative with the headline as this is one of a few things that gets women into your profile. You say you’re a few extra pounds but aren’t we all. I’d say you’re more like average and will get far more looks at average then a few extra pounds. I’d put a few extra myself but the majority of folks who do this aren’t a few extra, in fact they’re a few scores extra. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that you’re a little shorter than average so you need every advantage you can get my friend. Five pictures is a good start but three of them are poor. Leave the one with the blazer as it’s fun but make sure you put captions with the pictures to showcase a little humour. Actually, I’d keep the middle three, though that fourth pic is sort of poor in quality so that’s your call. Get some more pictures of you outdoors and doing things. Be sure to include 12-18 interests and include some unisex ones in there; it gives the women something to relate to and provides common interest. The ones you have now would be boring to a woman. She can’t go to work with you, nor school, working out is usually a personal thing people do alone or with close friends, and poker is usually reserved for the dudes with cigars and whisky and not for the girl you are seeking. Just a thought. Go through your text and correct grammar, punctuation, and com position errors as there are many. A well written piece of text goes a long way. I think I get the majority of my incoming messages based solely on my writing and what I have written than my pictures. You started telling us about you but didn’t really get rolling with it. We want more! And we want to know who you are looking for! What kind of woman do you seek? Also, what are you studying? What do you want to do with your life? She needs her own paragraph in that. But do yourself a favour and don’t ask for responses. They know the drill; if they like you they’ll message. It has nothing to do with you asking, and frankly when you don’t tell them what you are looking for and say tell me about you it makes you appear lazy. You don’t want to appear lazy do you? Lastly, your first date is the final chance at snagging her interest. Be creative here, but make sure it’s realistic. I like that you said so long as it promotes conversation, or however you worded it. Good job. Take some action here and I think you’ll be in business. Or at least a start in the right direction.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

New to this - profile review please Posted: 11/18/2009 10:00:56 AM
Yea OP you do a bang-up job of telling us about you. Kudos! I think you need to do a lot of foundation work though and fix up a lot of sentence structure. The difference between an ok profile and a great profile is often as simple as punctuation, grammar, and composition. Melangell mentioned the I-phrases and it is so apparent in your text. I, I, I, I, I... makes me nauseous like a bumpy ride in the country. You can change a sentence from "I love skiing" to "Skiing is a passion of mine". Same sentence but totally different message. You also separate a lot of ideas with comments and keep sentences running when you should be breaking with a period. It's just easier to read, and well written pieces make you appear intelligent and let's face it... women love an intelligent man who cares what he shows the world. In addition to completely failing to mention anything about the woman you are looking for, which sends a bit of a message that you might be really into you and the conversations might follow that direction as well, you neglected to mention any form of a date idea. Be creative but keep it within your means. If you can't produce the date you mention don't bother mentioning it. Add pics, interests numbering 12-18, an about her paragraph and a date and I think you'll be in great shape!

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Review please !! Posted: 11/18/2009 9:48:39 AM
So I’m going to try not to regurgitate the points the gentleman above made, which were all good, and so I’ll point out a few other flaws I see in your armour and mention a few observations I make. Your name is unoriginal; McLovin was the funniest fake name of the year last year and as such you’re in an elite group of about 50 million worldwide who likely use it and still find it funny. But then you use it a SECOND time in your headline! There is a time and a place to joke about arrogance and unfortunately it seems to fail here. Some have the gift of written word, others not so much. You’re allowed 8 pictures but yet you show us 3: one that’s shadowy and can’t see your eyes as your main, and two others that are virtually the same picture and have some poorly cast shadows as well which makes your face look blotchy. I’d use picture number three as your main for now but go get a handful more and make sure they aren’t all in a similar setting. Get outside. Get some of you doing things so it doesn’t appear you spend your life indoors behind a desk. You list yourself as thin but be careful as many women don’t much care for thin men per se. If you’re more lean and athletic then go for athletic. Also, at 28 you are expected to have a fairly good idea what you want to do with your life, and that includes whether you want to get married or have children one day. Women will see this uncertainty as a weakness on your part. It’s better to say no children in your future rather than I don’t know at 28 or 30. The interests were mentioned but I want to add to that. Be sure to add some unisex interests that she can relate to, and for the love of all things holy take the women out of there. You’ve already stated that you’re interested in women by saying you seek a woman for dating. The body of your profile looks like a series of bad copy and paste jobs. Stay away from redundant info, or fluff as it’s known. We know you’re looking for a gorgeous girl. No one comes on here and says they want a fugly sasquatch they can order around and manipulate and impregnate at will or use as a punching bag. Saying that you want a gorgeous girl only makes women reading think “gee, I wonder if I’m to his standards?! Maybe I’ll just pass and skip the shallow judgment”. How about a paragraph telling her what you want in a woman, and stay away from physical attributes. Women like knowing they’re thought of as more than T&A, and a pair of legs with a pulse. It’s nice that they have all those lovely things but no sense focusing on them. Tell us lots more about you; what kind of man you are; what you like to do and be specific. You’d be amazed at just how much women like a man who has something to say and who is willing to share his thoughts, and feelings for that matter. Also, you mention that you like going out with your friends and that usually results in drinking. That’s not really a selling feature my friend. The same goes for your first date. What you have there is lazy and generic. Stay away from the movie idea because you can’t talk to each other. You might as well be on the date with 186 other people in the theater. I think the joke about you getting 100s of messages a day will turn a few women off as well, some because you clearly shouldn’t be getting much if any mail based on this profile and some because if you ARE getting mail then why would they bother if they need to work so hard for your attention when they get plenty of mail themselves?! A profile is supposed to tell the reader a number of things: who you are, what you are looking for, who you are looking for, and it’s supposed to make you stand out and appear interesting to the reader. I don’t believe your profile does any of those things really. Hopefully you take some advice and clean it up, make some changes and additions, and hit the ground running. Good luck sport.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

think I got a good one here Posted: 11/17/2009 12:42:27 PM
Wow. I've been out of the review game a while and this is the one I decide to come back to? Are you actually looking for improvements here or simply looking for attention because I'm certain you're just swimming in friend requests; if not from your good looks and modesty then from your boyish charm. If a review is what you seek then ask again but take what is said into consideration and don't allow your ego to be bruised by harsh words. If you ask for constructive criticism you must be prepared to receive it. Based upon what I read in your "profile" I'm not too sure you have much interest in hearing someone else out on their opinion. Oh, and by the way if we would be so crass as to license women to procreate then we also need to license men to pull out their cacks, because lets face it... the majority of us men aren't the brightest of souls when our neither-regions are pulsing and it takes a seed to spawn; women don't just spontaneously germinate. Let us know how you want your review done...

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

To all ladies Posted: 5/13/2009 1:53:12 AM
^^^ maybe do your homework before commenting on other people next time. ;-) OP, Three months and not a single hit? I’ll tell you why, and this is merely based on what you have now. If you’ve changed it recently then it may have been something else but there are plenty of reasons you won’t get mail with what you’ve got right now First off I’m a firm believer that there are a number of key ingredients to getting attention: a good main picture, an interesting or catchy name and headline, properly entered hometown and zip code, and linked interests. You have no city listed so when you check your mail you are being lumped into all the men who check their mail in Washington State. Do you have any idea how many men are checking their mail in Washington State at any minute?! LOTS. So you likely never get the chance to appear in the Last 10 Men To Check Their Mail banner. You also will end up on like page 37 of searches if women search for men closest to them or men in your age range or men in general, if you make the Top 40 pages period because of the lack of info! Change your hometown to an actual city or town so that it highlights blue and you can be found. So with that said I’d maybe choose a name that is easy to pronounce to most and that is understood by many. It shouldn’t be common but it should be catchy. Same goes for the headline; what you have I don’t think is very inviting. It makes the reader, me in this case, say “is that all you’ve got?”. The other religion thing as a previous poster mentioned will burn warning flares. Moving along you’ve got some good pictures but I’d lost the webcam shot and use your last picture, the one with you smiling in red, as your main. That’s a great picture. You aren’t smiling in your main and you look high. Are you? I’m just asking because it says you don’t do drugs. Btw, I’m just joshing now. You’re 27 and seeking long term. This will be a red flag to women your age because they’ll get the first impression that you are looking for a wife, or maybe a mother, and that you may be clingy. Change it to dating; most people on here are here to date and most people who date tend to want long term at some point. Not many women search for men looking for long term, unless they are 45! You have zero interests listed and you need to have about 12-18 for a dating profile. Remember: every interest you have listed and that is linked is searchable and makes you easier to find and it also means you get matched up with more people on the matches page. Be sure that you include some unisex interests so she has something to find in common with you perhaps. Your profile body seems very robotic, like you looked at the suggestions for what to put in your profile when it prompted you to fill out the boxes and you just answered their questions. Take some time and look around at other mens’ profiles to see what they are putting on them. There’s no harm in borrowing ideas. You should have a paragraph detailing who you are as a man, what you like to do in your free time or what you do with your life or maybe what goals you might have and maybe even what you’re looking on this site. A third paragraph should tell her what kind of woman you are looking for. people say that I am different but they never give details and I don't bother to ask how Lose this! This makes it appear like you don’t care about what other people think or feel about you. It’s good to not care much to a degree but in that sense I think it’s important to feel a connection to that sort of compliment and as such you should ask why they think or feel that. Indifference is weakness, so they say. Scrap that whole first date box and star anew if you know what’s good for you! First off the english sounds broken and to this point you haven’t sounded like english is a second language for you. If it is that’s cool but if that’s the case you managed to write the whole profile till now without any hiccups so it’ll look as though your profile was written by someone or copied. Remember what I said about indifference? Well indecisiveness is roughly the same thing. Women like a man to take charge and make suggestions at least. Give her an idea of what a date with you could be like, and be realistic. And for the love of all things holy lose the last line: “what ever our desires may be ;-)”. If you had her interest at any point in this you just lost it right there. Make these changes and I assure you you’ll see some immediate improvements in replies at least. I don’t guarantee you’ll get first contacts just yet but you’re working in the right direction at least.

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Whats wrong with my kids not living with me? Posted: 5/13/2009 1:14:34 AM
Up front without an explanation it raises red flags with me also because there's so many variables but as soon as I catch wind of this nugget of truth I ask for details. If it's for the reason you gave OP I would absolutely look past it but I'd pay close attention to your relationship with them as you perceive it: I'd observe how you talk about them, if you show pictures, if you have pictures of them in your place, how often you see them, etc. If you were to tell me that they don't live with you because your house is too small or because you like your social life too much I'd lose respect and probably not be able to date you. If you gave the kids the option, as one poster mentioned, I would respect that as well, same as if you got transferred and didn't want to uproot the children so they stayed with dad. So long as you are actively involved in their lives and there's reason for it I'd have no issue. Of course there are some guys that'd prefer you not have them with you, regardless of the circumstances! My advice would be to overlook THOSE guys! LOL I'm in a similar situation where for 9 years I was the sole caregiver and provider and then mom decided she wanted to make it up to them and work at being a mom and after a half year of doing great she wanted the responsibility of caring for them full-time, as she was moving and we'd need to decide on which home they'd live at full-time. It meant a lot to the kids to see their mom trying and they'd craved that motherly attention for so long that I really couldn't say no, regardless of how much it hurt to let them go. But in the end kids are smart and they will be back with dad in due time, this I'm certain. :)

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Why do men say to women they are friends but not talk about the women they date? Posted: 5/13/2009 1:05:49 AM
I don't know... my best friend is a woman and many of my closest friends are as well. I think I have far more female friends than male friends. My best friend and I talk about everything and anything under the sun. No shame, no fear, what happens in vegas... I think there are many good points made so far but one I haven't noticed yet is the fact that these guys may consider you, or their female friends, as potential conquests or dates some day and by telling you all their dirty details that sends you immediately to the friend zone basically. By keeping it quiet they may think that you may still want something from them one day but if you knew what they were up to you might not. It was just another option...

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Alright, lemme hear it. Posted: 5/13/2009 12:57:59 AM
Thanks dude. Any improvement with the contacts or replies from the feedback given so far?

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Alright, lemme hear it. Posted: 4/20/2009 10:06:06 AM
I don't have much time to look at it but the changes I see quickly look much better already! Be back later.

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Looking for some tips to Jazz up my profile..... Ladies???? Posted: 4/20/2009 1:15:18 AM
I felt an abrasive vibe while reading your profile OP. All of your pictures aside from the one with the baby have you with an arrogant look and pose happening. But before any of this comes through I think you need to take a closer look at your name and headline. Is saxmagc code for something for short for saxmagic? Realest isn’t a word, nor is U, and that whole sentence reads poorly, not to mention it poses the response “why?!”. What you need to do is present yourself in a manner that makes them say “I need to message this guy!”; let them be the judge of that. For a dating profile a general guideline is to have about 12-18 interests and make sure some of them are unisexual so she has something of interest with you. There are so many issues with your About Me section going beyond that interracial statement but lets start with that. You start the text off on a negative by saying you don’t like to date those who are black. It’s much the same as women saying don’t message them if all you want is a booty call; it won’t stop those looking for as[I][/I]s but it will make many of those who don’t have those intentions at the top of their list look away. That statement will turn off many interracial women. If you get a horde of women of your race you don’t want to date then just tell them “sorry, I’m not interested”. Women are very nice creatures in that sense! They don’t freak out and question like men do normally! The next paragraph, which needs a space in between the two, starts off with a negative as well. Reword that to say something like I’m a straight shooter rather than I don’t play games. Have you ever noticed that those who DO play games generally tend to tell people they DON’T? Make a new paragraph about her rather than lumping it into the paragraph about you. You should work to describe your personality a bit more though while you’re editing this part. You say you’ve come to find your voice in other ways. Like what? Non-drug users and non-smokers are weeded out with mail filters if you wish; keep them out of your profile. Saying you want someone who knows what she wants and knows how to get it is kind of counterproductive also, as golddiggers, hookers, strippers, swindlers, hustlers, and manipulators all known what they want and are damn good at getting it. You say you’re a fitness nut and demand they be, not to mention you outright rule out the BBW crowd but your photos don’t display a physically fit individual, or even an athletic build. Bowlers may be athletes but 90% of them don’t have athletic body types. Offensive lineman don’t have athletic body types. You seem a bit stout and husky so you could maybe get away with average. Women will view what you have now and think you’re either primping yourself and lying or your delusional, and based upon your text I think the latter might be the first thought to many. Use your self-filter to weed out the physically unattractive rather than saying “I don’t like fatties”. One thing you need to really consider, and I’m sure this is no news to you, is that you are short. Like I said this profile comes across negative and abrasive that is just two more strikes. When you’re short or overweight you really need to step up your game in other areas and you are shooting yourself in the foot with most of it. Finally, the first date is a touch on the weak side. Give a scenario of what a first date with you could be like. Make it believable and something you could see yourself duplicating.

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Alright, lemme hear it. Posted: 4/20/2009 12:51:29 AM
Yea there's some sketchy stuff going on here OP. If your truly looking for just friends then you should set your status to Not Single/Not Looking and state in the text you are looking to make some new friends to do x, y, and z with. If you are wanting to meet people and let the chips fall where they may then you can leave it as friends and put a note in the profile saying you'd like to meet someone in time but your goal is to network and see where life takes you. The fact that you put something in the first date box and it screams DATE will say to most women that you are playing them. You've got two pics with a woman climbing on you who isn't labeled as your sister and that never plays well with other women. You should also spend a bit of time to detail who you are looking to meet. Also, your first two pictures are dull, bleak, and boring and there's no eye contact and no smile. Your main should have full eye contact and a smile. What you have is a general brush-off. Yea I know, I have a couple of those but I also have a profile that works wonders and could put a picture of the back of my neck up and get messages still! LOL

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Seeking advice on how to talk to women Posted: 4/20/2009 12:27:16 AM
You've been given all the right tools here to start you in the right direction: scrap the profile you have and in it's place write something that displays both your personality and your intelligence that you claim to have built. I don't know many 32 year old women that just want to shop, watch tv and hang out with their friends. That sounds more like early to mid 20-year-olds. You say you have issues finding things to talk about with women but you stated in the previous paragraph that you have spent most of your adult life building a skill set of sorts. Most of the time women don't care what you talk about as long as you don't bullshit, you let them talk, you don't make them feel inferior, and you make it interest. I've had some of the most asinine conversations with women and they seemed like they wanted more yet. One night last summer this girl talked my ear off and asked question after question about slaughtering pigs, as that was what I'd done the morning of (it was sausage making day at my uncles). Someone mentioned talking slowly and that is great advice that I would have started with as well. When in doubt, speak slowly. Not slow like you were dropped on your head as a child but people tend to rush their speech when they're nervous or excited. If you take something that'd normally take 2 minutes to explain and you rush and tell it in 40 seconds then you need to come up with yet another thing to say, not to mention you make the girl dizzy as she tries to follow you! Speak slowly and it gives her time to register everything and think of questions to ask. You also sound smarter. ;-) Another tip: sit down with a piece of paper and a pen and write about as many conversation starters as you can think of. Aim for 50 but if you can write down 200 then great! Keep this list handy with you when you're going for meet someone. Study it. Read it when you're bored. Add to it. When you go to meet a girl for the first time, or you are out shopping and see a woman you want to talk to or who starts talking to you make sure you have at least 5 conversation starters to fire off in your head. You should have at least one current event in mind as well from the news. I don't care if you walk into Walmart hoping to meet someone and the first thing you do is walk by the news stand and glance at the daily paper for a headline. I'm not ashamed to say I've done this, as I don't watch the news frequently.

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

How do you tell a guy that your childs father has passed away? Posted: 4/19/2009 11:45:03 PM
I also don't think many would freak out. I would strongly urge you to hold onto that tidbit for future conversations and NOT put it right there on your profile. It does one of two things likely: either men will think you are searching for a daddy or father figure, whether you are or not and whether you state you aren't, or they could view you as a mark. If the father died there's a chance you inherited something from him. Life insurance, property, family inheritance, etc. I don't think anyone really needs to know that information for a while. Even if you are looking for a dad for them, as it's natural to want that if they no longer have it.

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Posted: 4/19/2009 11:39:46 PM
OP I missed your last message where you detail the friendship dynamics and I needed to retract a bit. If he's kissing on you and touching you and making those sexual jokes then he sees you as a potential but if he's pursuing someone else and said he needs more time to think about you two then he's clearly making you a second option; a contingency plan. And no one deserves to reserve themselves as a contingency plan. So don't wait around for him. If he comes to you and you haven't met someone else then take it slow and make sure he doesn't jump ship a few weeks when he finds someone else. At this point he likely views you as an easy option. It's a crappy feeling; I happen to be lumped in as the friend a LOT and normally I'm great with that but there are a couple occasions where it upset me to.

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

REALLY worried Posted: 4/19/2009 11:20:47 PM
There is no killing the herpes virus; once its in your system it's there for life. The anti-virals are to control outbreaks or speed the recovery when they do happen. Condoms don't prevent the spread really either, as most sores don't open up DIRECTLY on the penis but usually around the base. I've heard all sorts of information that conflicts each other, from doctors and medical journals as well, saying that the virus is only spreadable when the sores are open and some say it's when the sore is sloughing at the end of the outbreak, and some say it is capable of spreading whenever. If you have it you have it and should be treating it as though you've got a sore all. the. time. If you think you may have come in contact with a dirty skirt or shirt then you should get your ass to a clinic and have your knob swabbed. Pipe cleaner ahoy! The thought of that thing gives me shit shivers...

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Does the position matter? Posted: 4/19/2009 11:11:39 PM
Women overanalyse this one. I had one woman tell me she wouldn't do doggy style because it's demeaning. I'm not a huge fan of doggy but when I tried to flip her over she stopped me dead in my tracks and said I obviously didn't find her attractive if I wanted to look her in the back when I fucked her. Yea, that's CLEARLY what we think! LOL Maybe if she was a hooker...

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Posted: 4/19/2009 10:41:10 PM
Against my better judgment I'm going to offer a test of wills for you. Go meet someone that you are interested in. If you TRULY want your friend then make sure that this guy isn't someone who's the bees knees but someone you can at least stomach to be seen with and still keep your dignity. Maybe have him pick you up from your friends house or from your house when your friend is there. Don't play it up by drooping all over the guy or anything but don't shy away from touching him or putting your arm around the guy if you are like that. After you've been out a couple times talk to your friend about this guy. See if he squirms or seems nervous or skiddish answering your questions or hearing you talk about it. If he's uncomfortable then he has a thing for you. At that point you won't feel bad breaking things off with the casual dude you've seen a couple of times and no love should be lost between the two you. The fact that he's drooling over a little asian girl and you are a larger girl tells me he's preferences are probably strongly in favour of the thin or petite ones. It's not something you'll likely change, no matter how long you wait or no matter what you do. It is what it is. It's just something you'll likely need to wrap your head around and realize that there are people for everyone and he's not for you. It's a shitty reality and I have been there before a few times; I'm sure everyone has.

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Is this true men? Posted: 4/19/2009 10:29:39 PM
That's all right, and so many more, OP. But like we said in your other thread... the fact that you told him outright after you'd fooled around with him and he'd spent a night with you that you wouldn't sleep with him was your kiss of death. Either his ego was shattered or he decided that he was going no where fast with you and felt it was time to move on. I'm sure he was into you but you likely shattered that opportunity. If you hadn't fooled around and said it then, and that you'd like to take things slowly or just be friends, then maybe he'd have stuck around longer or indefinitely. It's the hot and cold move, and you know what happens when a dude goes from the hot tub to the cool pool honey. Your a cutie. Move on. You invested nothing in it and as such he doesn't deserve your dwelling.

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Bait & Switch Posted: 4/19/2009 10:25:14 PM
Yea I've been here too. What shocks me about this is do they honestly believe that you'll show up and say "oh! you're not who you said you are. That's cool! So where do you want to go now? Hey! How 'bout back to my place?!". Like the above poster said, the relationship has been started on a lie. WHY on earth would you commit any more time to it? The only way I would is if the picture was mediocre or average and you get there and she looks WAY better than her pictures and says the only reason she does it is to weed out the bad guys just looking to get into her Haynes. I could respect that. One said she was average and only had face shots. Cute girl. Said she was 32 but looked about 22. Said 5'6". I meet her in a lounge and she's MAYBE 5'4" if she was wearing 5" platform heels and I'm about 205 at the time and she's got me beefed in weight for sure. There's someone for everyone but I'm not into big girls to that degree. I don't think she was over 5', AND her picture was obviously stretched vertically as she had a REALLY chubby face and it was very round and very large and her pictures showed a face of an average person. I went back home and looked at the pic and just shook my head.

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Jar sauces, dressings,marinades or the real thing????? Posted: 4/18/2009 12:35:09 AM
If it's possible to make from scratch, I have made it and have recipes that friends and family plead for when they come for dinner. I've even gotten to the point of making all my own spice blends and growing and both freezing fresh herbs and drying herbs for crushing purposes. I love the taste of home-made fare but I love the process more I think, and the satisfaction of knowing what's going into the food you put in your body and your kids as well.

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Arugula salad Posted: 4/18/2009 12:28:33 AM
if your grilling the radicchio I'd suggest using an vinagrette or citrus-based dressing, as a blue cheese or creamy dressing will only make the hot leafy greens seem mushy. Suggestions? I would use pecans instead of walnuts and with the pear mix a dressing of olive oil, white wine/cider/rice vinegar, cilantro, lime zest, sea salt, fresh cracked black pepper, and sprinkle with fresh tarragon. As for cheese I'd side with a feta or goat cheese, as they are a bit milder; the blue cheese may overpower everything else. You are the one eating, or serving, it though. Pine nuts would go well in this salad also, as well as maybe some thai chilis for some zing to go with all the sweet and savoury.

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Should I let him chase me!? Posted: 4/18/2009 12:08:55 AM
There's your answer likely: you bruised his ego. You fooled around and then told him you didn't want to have sex with him. To many it's an embarrassing revelation and while some will view this as a game and chase more most will move on to an easier target. Recall the lioness hunting for her young; she aims for the easy kill.

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Should I let him chase me!? Posted: 4/17/2009 10:52:43 PM
This question gets asked time and time again by women and the answer never seems clear to those without a penis (this being you ladies ): if he is interested he'll call, especially if you've spent as much time together and been somewhat intimate. You're an attractive girl... I wouldn't dwell on it. If he wants to give chase let him but I really w0uldn't waste much energy waiting for him to do so. It's his loss.

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

How common is this practice... Posted: 4/17/2009 10:47:44 PM
I think if the guy is looking at it in that light (if A cancels, then move on to plan B and so forth) then he's likely either ill-equipped to lock it down with any of them and he's just playing the volume game, or he's impatient. I doubt many men percentage-wise practice THIS method. On that note I've made multiple dates for the same night on a few occasions but 3 was the most ever and it was a full day; lunch date, dinner date, and the third was drinks and dancing. Each date i had no intention of going beyond the allotted time unless it went unbelievably well. I was open about my intentions. And all three were casual, not in the no strings attached sort of way but in the "let's grab lunch this afternoon" sort of thing with no promise of further activity. I think it's important to be open about your game if you are going to date multiple women. Unless you are a player and your intention is to dupe women and accumulate numbers and then I guess it's a very BAD idea to be upfront about your intentions. Unless your hung like a pony or your god's gift to women and it only makes 'em squirm more when you tell them they're notch three on your bedpost for the day in advance. Good luck to those guys! Herpes is a bitch I hear!

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

yep Posted: 4/17/2009 10:41:08 PM
Burgundy Bomber said it best: Why post-pone the inevitable, if he's after sex... first date, 20th date. if your a notch your a notch. If you want to have sex with that person but fear they might dip and zip consider this: if you held off for five dates and felt it was time to share that part of you with him/her and they take off never to be heard from again after that five date wouldn't you feel even sillier knowing your were duped and wasted five dates plus?! If you want it then I think it's your prerogative. In most cases with online dating we spend a bit of time talking beforehand and like one poster mentioned we chat for hours on end and know so much about a person before we even meet face to face usually. As long as your careful then there shouldn't really be a worry. Sex is a natural, mature, adult activity; just do it.

Deuce Light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Is it ok to use a dildo with your partner? Posted: 4/17/2009 10:34:30 PM
OP your boy is either insecure about a number of things but in this case his sexuality or he's a traditionalist but in today's age and knowing nothing else I'd say he's insecure. Someone mentioned intimidation and I would say there's probably some of that but most if it is likely due to the fear that you've already placed him in the passenger seat. He is probably feeling emasculated in that he feels you view him as not enough and need to toy to do the job he likely can't; he likely feels prejudged. How you handle this all depends on you and how you want to pursue it. If the toys aren't a bargaining chip and you require them in every session then hold your ground. If you find them fun and would like to keep them around then I'd really dig deep and look to see if he's the guy you are willing to put those aids on hold for a while. If he says hell no, you'll never bring the double dong into bed then I think you know your cue. Good luck.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

What is attractive about a good profile? Posted: 3/3/2009 7:34:37 AM
Lots of good stuff being tossed around here OP. I think Legend of Michigan said it best. Just be certain that whatever you put down is something that you are capable of duplicating in real life. I've reviewed literally thousands of profiles on this site in the past year for others in the forums, and written probably 100 for numerous folks, including about 25 or so for myself. I've never written one for myself that didn't get even half-decent response and results. I really believe anything can work for a person on here as long as it's delivered properly. Writing is an art and unfortunately some people, while probably funny and smart and charming in person, can't relay their message on paper and it comes off as abrasive or awkward or some other adjective unbeknownst to me. Be honest. Be relaxed. Be yourself. If you aren't confident and outgoing certainly doing display that in your profile because it won't matter if you attract five dates per week you are going to be palming it each of those nights likely for they'll see you as a fraud and your bridge will have been burned early on. If you want some ideas then perhaps go check out the profile review forum. There are some tips threads stickied to the top of the forum. Read a bunch of the review threads and some of the profiles that have been worked up in there as well as profiles of those doing the reviewing.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 33 (view)

Need a profile review, please :) Posted: 2/27/2009 10:44:12 PM
Word of caution: messages with ANY reference to looks, be it a compliment or a babe, sexy, hottie, or a DAYUM inserted somewhere will generally blow up in your face UNLESS you know how to work the written word to your advantage. You could play it ginger and say you like their sweater or they've got great eyes and frankly it usually translates to nice tits, damn I bet you've got a sweet can or my I'd love to bend you over the back of a Buick and do things to you I'd not do to a farm animal. Or at least that's how it generally translates to women on here who've generally seen it all. What I find with your messages is that they seem kind of forced; like they are rehearsed or not truly genuine. Ever been approached by a street vendor who got up in your personal space and was relenting? That's the vibe I get from your message. Not that you are overbearing but that you try really hard and aren't relaxed. It's the feeling that she'd maybe not get a word in edge-wise with you, and I know that sounds funny because you are speaking on your own TO her so of course she wouldn't but that's how I feel when I read it. Let me rephrase this message, which some improvisation of course because I don't know you or fact of your life so I'll just shoot from the hip. Also I'll sneak in a comment about her looks just to show you what I mean: Hey there! So I just finished reading your profile and I must say you stand off the page. A woman with television production aspirations... woman after my own heart! I, too, have a mild desire to someday direct a film or six. I know the silver screen is a stretch but hey, Spielberg had to start somewhere right? Moment of truth though... which part of production are you involved with? I'm guessing with those beautiful doe eyes of yours that you... man the camera? I'm just teasing! Perhaps you can fill me on what you do and maybe an anecdote or three over a smoothie at a local dog park-- you, me, Spike (my lab-cross-wannabe poodle-terrier) and your puppy, insert name here. They say dogs are a wonderful judge of character and a single woman's first line of defense, well second maybe to a burly best friend, so maybe we can chat a bit and meet up some time if the vibe is there and Spike can check you out and make sure you are fit for his king. ;-) Okay, in all seriousness he knows who wears the pants in the family and it certainly isn't me. Hope to hear from you sometime but in the event you waive your right then I wish you the best of luck with your manhunt. Cheers, Dayroush. Now, it may seem a little longer than what you had but to be honest I don't concern myself with the length because when I do write I almost always get a very warm, glowing response in return. You can spin short ones that are just as effective too. Here, try this: Hi! Fancy meeting you here! Say, didn't we go to high school together?! Any chance you know how much a polar bear weighs? Knowing how much lines are despised by the female persuasion I figured I'd employ the rule of three here and aim for the stars but something tells me my math is off. In any sense I just read your profile and I must say you are a real breath of fresh air. Witty, active, with a real passion for saucy wings and ultimate... AND she knows how to rock a pair of yoga pants to boot! I spotted a number of similarities between our interests and a few others amidst the profiles so maybe we could continue this conversation in a two-way manner, perhaps over a cosmo and whatever you'll have someday? Hope to hear from you and if not then I wish you the best! Cheers, Dayroush

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

is it too much? Posted: 2/25/2009 9:47:28 AM
Greg I’m confused because this guy I’m staring at here is a TOTALLY different guy than who I saw yesterday. Your look, your attitude, your everything. Which is the real you? What you have right here is leaps and bounds more attractive than what you previously had. That new picture is very good. You are an attractive guy with a great smile. The original you have up I think should hit the trash bin as you look like a booze-fueled Charles Barkley getting set to smash the camera and kick the papparazzi square in the junk; not my idea of inviting. Keep adding positive pictures though but that main you have now does wonders compared to the old. Can I ask what the name means? When I read it I automatically think Le’go my greggo, as in the Eggo slogan. Is that close? So let’s look at the revisions now. You still are short on the interests and these are very important. Not only do they give the women something to get to know you on a personal interest level and maybe give them some common ground with you but they also make you searchable; they can’t date that which they can’t see. Twelve is the minimum usually for a dating profile but I’d say aim for 18. You’ve got some good stuff in your About Me but it’s all jammed together right now. Separate that block into two paragraphs, and then add another one describing the woman you are seeking. Don’t use assumed traits like everyone tends to want to do, such as nice, cute, funny, honest, loyal, etc. Should she be nurturing? Attentive? Active? Interested in the arts? Have a passion to see the world? Goal-oriented? Should she be accomplished? Willing and able to talk about politics or religion or whatever subject you may be passionate about? Seeing as you have an other religion posted should she be open-minded about world religions? Proof-read proof-read proof-read. As a writer this one should be forefront in your mind. You still have some issues with word conjecture primarily, seeing as we aren’t focusing on punctuation you said. Two that stand out are time for type and thinks for things. Another thing that grates my cheese is using the same word too frequently; you have the word nice used three times in a matter of nine words! If thinks work out and if the weather is nice a nice walk around town is always nice. Probably an oversight but I’d fix it up. Otherwise it’s not a bad first date at all. Get some more pictures, do these changes, and I think you’ll be in business.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

Need a profile review, please :) Posted: 2/24/2009 9:43:59 PM
Why don't you post a couple more messages you've sent recently that aren't focused on openly abused women and we can try and find an issue with them. You are an attractive guy. You're young and that will slow you up here. Women your age are usually looking to date men a little more at their maturity level, which is a few years older than men your age usually, and they more often then not end up chasing men my age. :) And people say 3o is a bad thing! I didn't mean YOU sounded arrogant. I am trying to remember what I wrote but I'm pretty sure you are referring to that first paragraph of my message and that was referring to the other poster's examples and ideas for messages. Those attraction techniques are fine if you a) have the personality, confidence, and swagger to pull it off, b) are the part and not merely a xerox version of it, c) are ok with swinging for the fence on every at bat but willing to strike out 7o% of the time in order to hit that home run, and d) willing to accept that your attempts will most undoubtedly not result in a long term relationship. Attraction techniques like the ones the other gentleman mentioned work wonders... for hookups and maybe some casual dating. If you are looking to meet a woman serious about a relationship and who you aren't just looking to rustle feathers with then they are not your method of choice. A big problem with your approach I think is that you are trying to hard and it shows. Take me for example. I'm not high up on many people's attraction list. I'm not tall. I'm slightly overweight, although I carry it well. I don't have perfect teeth. I'm not well to do and don't have a lucrative job or drive a flashy car. My response rate is about 85% on this site, in that 85 out of 100 emails I send get responses and most of those are not "sorry not interested"; they ARE interested. Here's the thing though... when I was single, before the summer, I never ever sent first contacts. I was getting anywhere from 10-15 contact messages from new women every day. Some days less, some more, but that was a fairly consistent figure. It's all in the delivery, content, and tone. Confidence is great but women see straight through arrogance just as they see through feigned confidence. Post some of those messages for us and keep working at your profile. I didn't look at it yet but I will.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Need a profile review, please :) Posted: 2/24/2009 2:33:28 PM
^^^I agree that nice guys who finish last do so because they appear wimpy and whiney and needy, like your two messages did OP, but I don't think your approach is the way to roll either dude. You will be appealing to superficial women based on your physique there bud. Confidence is great, arrogance isn't and your messages you suggested sound rather arrogant. While I’m not sure if this is a theme or merely a coincidence your two sample messages were to women from abusive backgrounds. Does this suggest you target damaged women, looking to help nurse them back to emotional health? Rebuild their self-esteem and create the love you want from the ground up? Believe me I know how that feels as I seem to attract them like fat kids on a Smartie and that’s cool with me. One thing to be cautious of is the toxic environment surrounding a person’s history. You seem to attack it head on right in your first message by the looks of it and that will turn most women who have been wronged or abused in some way in past relationship completely away. They generally don’t want to air it and talk openly about it, even if they say in their profile that they came from a bad relationship. A vibe I do get from your messages is that you are needy and brushing on desperate, virtually begging for the chance to talk to them or more. Women like confidence and those traits aren’t pillars of confidence. It’s important to talk about the profile to show her that you read it and took an actual interest in her and not her body. A plus side to your messages is that you do mention their profiles and you write more than a one line message and you don’t insult or objectify them. Just make sure you are commenting on positive aspects of their profile and not negative, such as mutual interests, goals, etc. Moving on to your profile, I see a fair deal of room for improvement. You seem like a fun guy and that shines through in your writing. I don’t like the list format and I’ll tell you why… it’s I, I, I, I, I, I, I, You, You, You, You, You, You. Sounds a little demanding doesn’t it? It just sets a bad tone when you work it in that sense. I think lists can work but you have to be careful how you construct them. Your pictures are so-so. The main is a good shot. The third one needs a dumpster and the other two are mediocre and I’d replace them with good shots where we can see you more, and less of the environment around you. Also, the more pictures the better. You have a decent amount of interests but by the time I gut the unnecessary and obvious ones you are left with very little to offer a girl. Romance and Love will garner a gag from most women. Show her you are romantic with your actions, not your words. You can hardly call either of those an interest. The same bodes for fun. We all like fun. We all like to laugh. Family and friends are kind of sketchy to me but leave them in if you really want. I’d use them in your text instead and focus on your love for your family and friends there. The rest are decent BUT (and this is the big but) they are things that really can’t be appreciated together and usually not a focal point for women. Keep them but make sure to add some interests that are both unisex and can be enjoyed by more than one person at a time. Your first line says me me me but your text doesn’t support any of it. You say you are funny, charming, and caring… prove it. Show us but don’t tell us. Drop the smoking and drugs bit also, as a couple of your filters take those out of the picture before the show even starts. At that point you are merely insulting the reader, unless they’ve lied on their profile and then you have no way of getting around that. Back to the lists now… lists are lazy. They don’t require much in the way of proper sentence composition or any significant writing skills. So in that sense you sell yourself short right out of the gate. You need to do a bit more to describe the personality of the woman you are seeking. Lose the request for contact as well… we all know how to message. On to the first date you kind of drop the ball here with your implied romanticism; an event and especially a movie are not romantic date ideas. In fact, the movie on a first date is probably one of the least favourite first date ideas as voted by women. It’s important to really sell what you’re made of here, as this is your last effort to intrigue her. If she hasn’t messaged you before reaching your first date box then you have those last few lines left to save you. Another thing about lists is that they are very similar to factoids. Factoids get old and dry after four or five; five is usually the limit I suggest. You have 11 for you in your list, and eight for her. Consider putting it into paragraphs but if you don’t I’d strongly urge you to break these lists up and start some sentences with something other than I. You have some good stuff here. Expand a bit, remove some fluff, and adjust where necessary. As always advice is not commanded on you but you asked for it and we are the unbiased readers here. Good luck.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

It's all about the Funny isn't it? Posted: 2/24/2009 9:28:36 AM
Suit yourself. I think you've gotten worse with the changes, this coming from someone who has much experience with profiles and has seen widespread success on this site, not to mention I met the woman of my dreams here. I really hope it works out for you but I've got my doubts you'll be fighting them off even one by one with this profile. Good luck dude, i wish you the best.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

is it too much? Posted: 2/24/2009 8:35:05 AM
^^ there's one example of those contradictions I was talking about!

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

It's all about the Funny isn't it? Posted: 2/24/2009 8:32:28 AM
Oh I never said change who you are dude. That`s imperative that you keep it real. Nothing like showing a toothy smile and saying you exude confidence and then showing up to the meet and greet all bashful and frowny! I agree there is a fine line between confident and arrogance and it is often hard for people to show that effectively, both in print and in person, but it is very possible. Keep plugging away at it.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

is it too much? Posted: 2/24/2009 12:27:09 AM
First off for someone who claims to write, and I won't comment on the story here, you sure have a heap of instances where you write "I are". That is a line most commonly found in Russian Mail-Order Bride profiles littered amongst these sites, baiting us men with their buxom pictures and offers of passionate riches. On to a more serious note... your profile is bad. Beyond your intention of being honest and forward it borders on abrasive but more importantly it almost appears inconsistent. If I were to go out on a limb I'd say a lot of what's said in here may be a stretch of the imagination. I could be wrong, but it just all smells a little fishy. There are a number of contradictions and it just seems like you are continually searching to say the right thing; what you feel we either want or don't want to hear. I haven't decided if I think this is an anti-profile yet or if you are for real. In any sense if you are serious about looking to meet someone or some people on this, or any, site then I'd delete this and start fresh. If any of the length, grammar, syntax, contradictory, or abrasiveness of the profile doesn't scare them off your story in the first date box certainly will. The first few lines will read to most like that from a rape fantasy, even though I don't think that's the aim of the story. I didn't read it through to the end. Just remember that what I'm saying here is not how I feel about what you're putting down but what people will see and perceive. Do your homework and retool this from scratch. Read the Profile Writing Tips threads, check out some of the profiles around these threads, and then rewrite and come back for more. Good luck.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

It's all about the Funny Posted: 2/24/2009 12:10:16 AM
I think you have the right idea but you took the wrong exit on this one. I found little of it funny, if not mildly entertaining or interesting. You have a wealth of what we seasoned folk here call fluff; senseless/useless drivel that adds no inherent value to your marketability. The only funny part I found was the chin joke but I think you’ll find that’ll offend a fair chunk of people; it’s never good business to make fun of groups you don’t belong to. Great picture but as you know you need more; aim for at least five but you’re allowed eight so do your best to fill the lot. You’ve got a great smile so work that. You are 31, looking for friends but wanting more kids, and you talk about going on a date throughout most of your text; to the naked eye it could read commitment-phobe or player, but in any sense it reads poorly for you. Most are here to date so go that route; you’ll also show up on a LOT more searches, thus gaining more exposure. You’re a sales guy, right? For a dating profile you should have a minimum of 12 interests but make sure they all are linked and separated. I have no clue how someone other than yourself managed to put Dancing Laughing in their interests as one phrase but good on you for making it light up blue! Split them up though and you’ll get more results, primarily for the dancing bit. I’d shed that romance one though as far as possible; women like romance usually but when it’s aired like that warning signs tend to go off. Aim for 12-18 interests in total. Like I said your About Me contains a lot of fluff that really misses it’s mark in terms of comedic value, unless your hunting 45-year-old mountain lions; they seem to like the cutesy funnies of the youngin’s. ;-) Try describing your ideal lady a little more and use some adjectives aside from the assumed givens we all seem to want, such as fun, honest, attractive, etc. You also need a paragraph telling us something about you and your personality. She should effectively read that paragraph and say “hot damn this is the guy I’m looking for I think” and then read the paragraph outlining your ideal mate and say “yes! That’s me! Come to momma!” and send her searching for the Message SilverSurfer77 button. As for the first date I’d suggest putting something thoughtful down there. A drink is a first meet not a first date. This is your last effort to snag her interest if she hasn’t already messaged you. Avoid using the term stimulate as well, unless you are going to attach “my mind” to it; no sense handing her the perv paint bomb, even if that’s not how you implied it. It’s all about perception and what people see and read here. Try some of these on for size and wait for the others to roll in with suggestions and then come back to us when you have made some changes. Shop around to some local profiles as well to see what others who are having success are doing. Good luck!

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Please review my profile (a conservative one) Posted: 2/23/2009 11:14:36 PM
Wow dude. You want a big picture epiphany? Take your pick, as you have a handful here. Lots of great points made but in the end your breaking points are sinking you just as much as the sum of all things wrong here. Well start at with the basics… First impressions are everything right? In order to even intrigue someone enough to enter your profile you have to set some bait for them to latch on to. When someone searches for profiles what do they see first? Your picture, your username, your headline, a couple interests and the first line or so of your profile. I did you a solid and searched your profile and this is the snapshot it gives the reader, in addition to your user name and photo: wanting pro-life christian I hate to say activities that I like or hate to do, because that is limiting! I'm up for anything as long as the woman is having fun! I like to read political stuff as long as it is interesting. I Lafayette Louisiana Pair that with a strange username, a very uninviting headline, and a bad main picture and what is the likelihood that someone is going to enter the profile in the first place? It’s all about first impressions. That headline and first paragraph of your profile should grab the reader’s attention. Your profile pic should be interesting and inviting. The one you have is a poor shot. Start with these three things, as well as your user name, and you are going to get a lot more traffic through your page, which is the first goal of these sites. Upon entrance to your profile I find three more drab pictures, all taken from a webcam at your computer desk in what appears to be your room. When you only have these types of shots people automatically wonder if you spend much time OUT of your room, and better yet if you spend much time with anyone but yourself or your mom. Bear with me here… I’m simply telling you what the reader may perceive from what you are giving us. You need 5 or 6 pics, but by golly use up all 8 slots! Try and get some action shots outdoors of you out and about. Be sure to not have every picture looking like it was taken in a speed-burst mode on your camera, taken within a second of each other. Those three pictures are a bit frightening. The main is a good smile but it’s just a bad webcam shot so I think it should at best be relegated to a fourth or fifth pic. I’d switch your Long Term aim to Dating. All Long Terms start out as dating, but the problem with LT is that most don’t choose this option even though that’s what they seek in the end, and seeing you looking for it will make them think you might want to jump right into it. The term stockboy is kind of an insulting term, in this case to yourself. Why not phrase it differently. Inventory clerk, warehouse technician, merchandising engineer. ;-) You need no less than 12 interests in the box and make sure they all light up. Also make sure you have a couple that are unisex in nature, so that the woman has SOMETHING to associate herself with you. Insert some fun stuff here and avoid the big guns like science, politics, religion in this section unless you have some real solid interests to balance things out. As for your About Me section you need to split this up as people have suggested already. I KNOW I’m not in the minority when I say that as soon as I see that large block that if I’m not scanning for the back button right away that first line better make my mind dance or I will be for sure. You should have at least three paragraphs, each separated with a space: one for each of what kind of man you are, what you like to do or what you DO do in your daily life and maybe some aspirations, and one about the woman you seek. What you have there looks like you downed a handful of speed and chased it with a Red Bull. For someone claiming to not be an extremist the way you speak in your text sure supports the opposite; you seem very abrasive and forceful. You also start virtually EVERY sentence on the page with I or a derivative. I think only three were begun with something else. This is bad bad bad. I think it’s great that you are passionate about something but you will be hard-pressed to find a woman as militantly vigilant about her religion as you appear to be in this text. Why not skip all the sex and church talk and just say you are looking for a woman with core christian values, or I guess in your case Catholic, and go from there. Like someone said use the word traditional. Caution about insistence, which you do a LOT of in your profile: when people insist on things strongly it often means they are hiding something. A big red flag is the romance section at the end of your About Me. This comes off a little on the weird side personally but it also makes it sound like you have little experience in this area when you say you are all about it. That’s something 15-year-olds would say if they were allowed on dating sites. It comes off as you telling the reader what you think they want to hear, and that is very transparent in most cases. Your mail restrictions could use a hand. Someone commented on 18 as your lower limit being weird and creepy but for a 35-year-old 21 isn’t any better. A typical range is 5 years each way. What you have says d-e-s-p-a-r-a-t-e; it says you’ll take all comers, no pun intended. Try something more realistic, even if you stretched it to something like 27-45. At your age 10 years older isn’t bad at all but really, what do you think you have to offer a 21-year-old and vice versa? I don’t mean that in a condescending way, but let’s face reality… you two would be from different eras, on different maturity levels, and different wavelengths. Last but not least your first date. Why does it sound like you want to chain her up in your Mac lab and digitally analyse her? This is your last chance to impress her or peak her curiosity so dazzle her but make sure it’s something attainable and producible. Plot out a date that you could see yourself planning but keep it on this side of whimsical. Take the advice given on this review forum to heart, read some profiles around the threads, and make the necessary changes. Come back to us for another look when your done if you'd like.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

can someone review my profile please? Posted: 11/24/2008 7:26:29 AM
Well Johnny-Come-Lately, I didn’t realize that this story was actually the rewrite of your original script. I’m not sure what the previous version looked like but it has got to have been better than this. This story will lose most readers by about the third paragraph, and at that point you still haven’t told us anything beyond the fact that you might live in a fantasy world of aspiring musicians who think their garage cover band will one day adorn the great stages of this earth in the company of the greats, whilst playing their cover tunes that they’ve borrowed from said greats. Let’s start at the top shall we? I don’t like the idea of cramming a username together because it makes the reader have to work to figure out what it says, reading it a few different ways. You are allowed spaces so why not use them? I know there’s more room allotted then that also. As for the headline you should never put looking, seeking, searching, or the likes in that space. This is supposed to intrigue the reader to click on your profile and read further. Everyone is here looking for something; try again. The four pictures you’ve got up are poor. Only your main pic can we see your face and it’s from a distance but hey… at least you are smiling! The other three are a collection of odd shots best left out. Find another four or five candid shots and leave out any props; we just want to see you. You are 28 years old and looking to hang out. Leaving the fact that you romanticize the whole concert-group idea and mention a first date aside, at 28 the words Hang Out usually equates to casually screw. Most people our age don’t hang out. That’s what teenagers do. Change that to dating and you’ll notice an instant change in interest. I didn’t say an influx in mail… just people who would have looked past you before will now look at you for a glance at least. Your are undecided/open about children. At our age women who haven’t settled down are usually in the search to do so and they expect that men our age should have their shit together and know what they want. Beyond 23 or so it should be black and white, as there’s been plenty of time to mull it over. You are also a political activist as listed in your profession, which says you take politics extremely serious. This scares away most folk. It also says a lot about a person, and at the same time it really doesn’t seem to fit the picture of the person you are painting. Free-wielding metal dreamer by night, protester by day; “one of these things just doesn’t belong here”… You list a healthy group of interests; SUPER! Love it. The rest of the text, as I said, is a bust. You confirm that the fantasy for you is still alive by saying you are seeking an associates degree in CASE your dream falls through; you’re 28 and play cover tunes… that ship has sailed I’m afraid. It’s time to put on the big boy pants and start living the reality that is life. For the record, you’ll need more than an AD to be a psychologist and generally even for a counselor or social worker; it’s just something to look into, but it’s admirable that you want to help people for a living some day. Oh but wait, you STILL plan to study music at a major university, which says that dream won’t likely ever die. I know a number of guys like the one you describe here, and none of them are pretty sites I tell you. I think we all know someone like this. The stuff about the reenactments I don’t think is a real issue as I understand it’s a fairly common thing in your neck of the woods. What I find funny though is how people reenact the good wars but you never hear of a club who spends there time being blown to bits by Charlie. I want to watch that one! LOL So beyond what is already in your interest section you’ve not told us anything more really. You also tell us absolutely nothing about this girl in the stands admiring you. Many people here say they don’t know what they’re looking for or they don’t have a “type” but seriously, we all want certain things in a person. Do you want someone who’s shy or outgoing, someone who’s funny or dry, reserved or boisterous, nurturing, caring, compassionate, or selfish and wants to live for the moment? You make another fatal mistake though in that you start the Average Joe bashing. You make statements like “I am not like other guys because…” and that not only screams insecurity on your part but it’s kind of dirty. There are more guys out there that call women back or don’t have one-night stands as a rule and who treat women with respect; TRUST me. You are not unique in the slightest bit in this sense. We just hear about all the bad guys when they happen so it’s easy to get lost in that. You fail to include a first date. Women like surprises but you can put a first date idea down and STILL surprise them. What it does is paint a picture of what a night with you would be like. Make it realistic and if you still want you can put something at the end saying that you would still make the evening a surprise though. But please, please, PLEASE do yourself a solid and drop that last paragraph AND the “you are dismissed”; it’s… dismissive. It says “I’m better than you”. The diatribe preceding it does not weed out those who whine and bitch and moan, but it will turn away the women who don’t do this so you are actually shooting yourself in the foot here. A few last bits… drop the emoticons and change your mail restrictions to remove that distance limit; POF doesn’t calculate distance well and you are in a hotbed of action there. Way too many people to be dancing on the edge of uncertainty with that one. I’d also drop the Talk/Email one… that’s what my girlfriend had her’s set at when I met her and a couple weeks later we were falling in love. You just never know. Make these changes, tell us who you are and what you’re about in clear paragraphs, and tell us who she might be as well as the first date. Get some new pics, go through the Tips threads, and also check out some local profiles for ideas. If or when you retool it post back here for another look!

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

can someone review my profile please? Posted: 11/21/2008 2:32:17 PM
^^Was Nelly right when he sang that song years back... that in the south grammer IS acceptable?! If you are going to hit someone for being off you should make sure you are on first; grammar it is. I'm not teacher, but I'd be willing to wager I'm not wrong.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

can someone review my profile please? Posted: 11/21/2008 7:15:40 AM
Hey buddy, I came to this thread to look at another profile here but I feel compelled to help a brother out now. I am just posting here as a bookmark of sorts, otherwise I'll never come back to it! Do yourself a favour in the meantime and check out the Profile Writing Tips threads stickied to the top of this forum, and then check out a bunch of local profiles. What you've got there right now will appeal to maybe a handful of ladies out there, and then there's still the issue of getting them to like you beyond the pictures and initial messages. So sit tight... help is on the way. There's a whole lotta help required here.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 391 (view)

oral sex and swallowing cum and why they wont do it Posted: 11/19/2008 6:49:02 AM
^^Does your wife know you snowball other women with that mouth? I'm not sure why some get so bent out of shape about this subject. If you don't like it you don't like it. I don't think there is a very large percentage of women that actually LIKE the taste and texture of spooge. I dated one for a while last year that LOVED it and would beg for it, like if I did it in the condom it was a complete waste of a snack! I think she was an anomaly in that sense and most women are probably in the indifferent field; they could do without but like to do it to please their man, plus it makes them feel more connected to them. My ex-wife wouldn't have it anywhere near her body. To be honest I hate liver and i wouldn't voluntarily eat it, no matter how much I loved someone unless it was doused in sauce and I could eat it with a bunch of other things. But plain? No thanks. And NO one is going to tell me "well if I can eat it then you can eat it" and me change my mind. Next time someone asks you to swallow their load and you don't want to tell them you like to give golden showers and have them swallow their urine and see if they'll return the favour. Dirty Sanchez, anyone?

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

profile review badly needed don't what i'm doing wrong Posted: 11/17/2008 6:28:15 AM
Something I wanted to point out in addition to Jane's message OP is that women tend to generalize comments and take them a little more personal than men do. So how do you think women who read your profile will feel when they read: Had plenty of aussie girlfriends in the past, find they age quickly and are boring so would like to meet someone different for a change. and then you follow it up with this doozy: but wouldn't you prefer a guy that has good tastes and knows what he wants over someone who will go for anything? I also hear Australian men are pompous too. How do you like them apples, er stereotypes? Nearly every woman reading that first quote is going to personalize it as though they were Australian. They will likely feel that direct attack and be turned off. Then you follow it up with the winning line, saying that to not date these Australian women grants you higher taste. Not only does that reflect very poorly on you because they are scoffing at you, but now it says that at one time you slummed and dated these Aussie women but now you've refined and come to your senses. Good job. I'm in full agreement too on the headline; I got no indication of a sweet, warm-hearted, or nice guy from your text, or the picture for that matter. Also, great work in making yourself appear like even more of a creeper by excluding not only those older than you but those even two years younger! You don't just want a younger woman... you want a YOUNG woman, or girl. Why stop at 21? What kind of conversation do you could have with most 21-year-olds?

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

Does anyone else feel demoralised and deflated? Posted: 11/17/2008 6:18:18 AM
Dude... do yourself a solid and take some advice given here. I just read your profile now and it's brutal. The most glaring thing I noticed, and I wanted until I read all the sappy, creepy lines and waded through the sea of punctuation atrocity, was that your picture kind of makes you look like a woman. Well, maybe it's not the picture... maybe you just look that way in real life. Either way you kind of appeared to look like the butchy lesbian lover you'd find on the arm of a Hollywood lesbian; the "man" in the family. It might be the hair combined with the smile and your soft lines, I don't know. All I'd suggest is adding a bunch more photos and putting something else up as your main. When that's done please please PLEASE put us, and the ladies, out of our misery and fix it up! LOL Some of us I think would even take the time to rewrite it for you just so that this never falls into the lap of another unsuspecting female again.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

I need some help with this. Posted: 11/15/2008 3:44:55 PM
I think a joke is good but you have to work it in well. You just slammed it right in there all by itself, not to mention the joke is kind of beat up. Here's a suggestion: in another paragraph talk your love of the outdoors but include sports in there. Say something like "I enjoy sports but I don't really understand the game of baseball; what man with four balls wants to walk 90'? As for the rest of it you've made the change from redneck to refined country man! I haven't read closely enough through the whole thing but it's much better now. I'll take a closer look later.

deuce light

Joined: 6/17/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

re:Does anyone else feel demoralised and deflated? Posted: 11/14/2008 7:23:23 AM
Proof that there is a poor sap for everyone out there. OP, i haven't looked at your profile but based on the comments here I gather it's a little worse for wear. Ask for the review or make some changes...

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