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Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Too fast, too soon...maybe, maybe not??? Posted: 12/5/2006 2:18:19 PM
good points prolibertate. I don't agree 100% on all of them, but they're valid thoughts. I haven't stopped speaking to this woman who professed this particular dislike. Her reason is one that I won't discuss, but it is a damn good reason nonetheless. Also, I doubt she'll be getting over it any time soon. Still, you're right. I will continue to get to know her because she's a nice woman. I just know that we wouldn't work out as intimate partners at the moment. The difference between the way I view this and the way you do is that, yeah....it is none of their business, but I don't really mind discussing it. I think it goes a long way in expressing ones openess in these situations. Honestly, too many inhibitions is not attractive at all and it makes the other wonder what they may be hiding. It's just like anything else, I suppose. Some feel differently about it than others. Personally, I never prompt the discussion, but I won't shy away from it either. I'm real happy to know ahead of time if we'll be compatible in this area because it's easier to say that our personalities clash upon discovering this than it is to click on many different levels and then have to say, "We aren't going to be able to enjoy a quality sex life together because we're too far apart in our likes and dislikes." It just seems like a slimy thing to say.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 91 (view)

Wayyyy outta my league!!! Posted: 12/5/2006 1:31:27 PM
coca2.....I would assume that you gave him a response, though, correct??? I mean, did he tell you how he felt and then you just left him hang after replying every other time??? I'm not likely to message her again. Not with any interest anyway. Despite the fact that I wonder why she has yet to respond, I still thinkshe's an amazing young woman. I hold no ill will. Still, I don't understand how hard it is to just come out and say, "Hey, thanks. I'm flattered, but no thanks." errorin22.....It is always nice to hear success stories, but this isn't going to be one of them. No big deal. Congratulations though. At least I know it happens now. Haha

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

How would you respond to this???? Posted: 12/5/2006 9:01:35 AM
To the OP....You did the right thing. This guy seems to be a few fries short of a happy meal. However, I would like to say this. This is the sort of thing that causes women to stop responding to guys' messages. I applaud your effort to do so, even after you felt something might be odd. Don't stop being polite. It's women like you that are restoring faith for some of us guys. Some will be goofballs, like this guy, some will be unpleasant when they're rejected, but there's also those of us who just appreciate the response and good old fashioned honesty. Haha....some of us will even laugh to ourselves when the rejection isn't delivered in a respectable manner. Basically, what I'm saying is....don't let a few whack jobs ruin it for the rest of us.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Too fast, too soon...maybe, maybe not??? Posted: 12/5/2006 8:50:05 AM
I don't understand why people who have only 'talked' online would share a lot of personal information about themselves, especially on the topic of sex, unless they're only looking for casual sex or they think they should bring the topic up early for some misguided reason about disclosure of their likes and dislikes in that area. Well, I'm definitely not the type to look for casual sex. However, I'm curious. What "misguided reasons" would one have to feel the need to discover this information early on??? I mean, I started this thread because I realize that men and women think very differently. I don't think this issue is a problem and I can think of many reasons why it's a good thing. I just wanted to see if anyone could fill me in on the negatives, if there are any. Sexual compatibility is a pretty important issue. This is going to sound bad and, if any of those POF'ers that like to jump on this sort of thing are reading in, this will likely get taken off track soon, but one of the women I spoke with over the last couple weeks has stated that she cannot enjoy oral, whether giving or receiving. She has a very valid reason for it, but I know that would only be a source of frustration for me. So, how is discovering this early on, before any feelings are developed, a bad thing??? no 1 bby.....Right. I think, as long as both people know that this is not an interview with a guarantee of employment, I don't see the problem. If you tell me how you make the best brownies in the world, that doesn't mean I'm going to use your dishes. However, it'll make things a lot easier once we decide to make them together. But thanx to both of you. I am looking for outside perspectives. AREALANGEL.....I'm not sure we're on the same page here.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Too fast, too soon...maybe, maybe not??? Posted: 12/4/2006 9:57:33 PM
I know I'm likely to catch some flack for this from those who have been participating in my "Wayyyy outta my league" thread, but this is honestly happening and I wanted to see what you guys thought. The girl from the previously mentioned thread did do something for me and, as I said there, I'll be forever grateful. Regardless of the fact that she has yet to contact me again. One thing I learned from that situation was to stay grounded. Even if I'm in awe of the woman, keep my feet on the ground and think critically. I do in everything else I do, so this shouldn't be a stretch...right??? Well, as sudden as that situation came to an end, I've been getting quite a few responses from various singles sites that I frequent. Weird how this sort of thing happens. Anyway, I've had several IM chats with a few of these women and they all seem like genuinely nice ladies. However, there's one common thread between all of them and I'm wondering if it's a good thing or a bad thing. I don't know how it happens. I'm a pretty playful guy, but I remain the gentleman at all turns. I don't know if it's my sense of humor or my personality, but these women seem to open right up after a few conversations. I'm not complaining at all because I'm a fairly open book myself. I just tread lightly until they lead into the more "adult" type topics. My question.....Is it a good thing or a bad thing to know some personal likes and dislikes in this area before knowing more about the person in general??? To me, it's not the same as having sex and then getting to know eachother. It's not even taken as a, "Hey, now we know about it, let's play", sort of thing. Personally, I'm glad to know this information, but it will not prevent me from remaining tactful and treating her with respect. Still, is this odd or is it just the way things are in this day and age of electronic communication and the comfort zone that accompanies it???

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

MASTERS OF THE GAME........ Posted: 12/4/2006 9:25:02 PM
Haha...A lot of this sort of thing is what I've come to call "dating callouses". It's the little blisters that harden and make us tougher. Whether or not we let that toughness be something that is difficult to penetrate or a toughness that makes us more aware of the things that have caused blisters before is completely up to us. Personally, I've been through both phases. It's really important to just step back after each one of these disappojntments and gather your thoughts. Don't dwell on the negative too much. Learn from it and move on. Just remain yourself. I became very jaded at one point and soon realized that I was getting nowhere because it showed. That's not me. Why put it out there just because I had a few bad experiences??? As for the issue of game masters.....I think this is a tough one because I worry about it myself. I am real good with the written word and can even express myself pretty well through IM's. On the phone there's a noticeable drop in effectiveness, but after I get more comfortable, I'm OK. The first meeting in person sometimes comes as a shock to the ladies I speak with because I'm fairly quiet and reserved. I suppose we're both just trying to soak in the entirety of the situation, but it's a 180 flip for me in comparison to IM's and the phone. I know I've had women say that I wasn't who I put myself out to be and that's not a fair judgement if you ask me. Still, there are some players out there that are very good at making their "package" look better than it actually is. I suppose there's some merit in the idea of meeting quickly, but as I said before, it doesn't matter how quickly you meet. I've found the first meeting to be rather awkward no matter what and sometimes it's just not too telling. I guess I would say, unless there's been blatant and obvious lies told or if he just gives you the creeps, give him the benefit of the doubt upon meeting for the first time.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 83 (view)

Wayyyy outta my league!!! Posted: 12/4/2006 4:20:35 PM
True2spirit...Thanx for the exchange of messages that resulted in the link to that article. It was a good read. AcesDJD.....I don't know if it's wise to compare women to park animals, but I see what you're getting at. I know all too well about emotions not being accepted by a woman. Haha. You'd think that ten years would be long enough to know someone well enough and accept them for who they are. Also, I agree about the, sometimes, double meanings of what women say about this sort of thing. When I hear a woman say they want sensitivity, I think they mean compassion. I think it is very common that they want a guy that will not bring them their own emotional baggage, but they want the big strong guy there to carry theirs for them. This is exposing my cynical side and I don;t really like dwelling there often, but there is some truth to what you brought up. Evadhunter.....Man, what did you do??? Haha. Anyway, I think it's too late. I don't typically have a problem with what you call "kissing a woman's ass". I have no problem telling them what I think, but I'm a pretty strong individual in attitude and personality. I sincerely doubt that she got the impression that I was a sniveling little boy. Like I said previously in this thread.....I may have gotten a bit sappy, but I was sincerely in awe of her. Why would I want to hide something like that. Either way, it was all for not as far as taking the leap to see if there was any possibilities. I've even sent her another message telling her that it was OK that she didn't answer me, that I understood that I probably freaked her out and was likely not her type. Still, I've received no response. So, she defiitely has her own flaws. Like I've said here....Onward. whitetigeress.....My thoughts exactly. I don't want to hide who I am. If it creeps some women out or makes them think I'm less of a man....their loss, not mine. Besides, I'd probably be a real hard pill for them to swallow if they were to think that way and still try to attempt a relationship with me. LOL EDIT: Wow...is there anything that can be done about the width that has occurred since Evadhunter posted the way he did??? I just realized how annoying it is to read while having to scroll from left to right. Sorry hunter....nothing personal.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 66 (view)

FAQ - New Rule??? No More than 2 of last 10 Posts Posted: 12/4/2006 4:13:57 PM
Haha...Ya know what....DEE DEE DEE....I just thought of something. I'm sorry to have been a pain in the ace here. I think I might have gotten blocked out once and just assumed that I'd be blocked out again until nine more people posted, so I would only post a short message, figuring on using the edit option to finish my post if I were allowed, only for it to be blocked because it was just a tiny one liner. Like I said. Geez, I'm such a ........ My apologies. I'll let ya know if that wsa the case. If nothing else, this can be a lesson learned on my part that may help others with a similar situation. EDIT: Yup, that's what it was. Like I said....my apologies.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 64 (view)

FAQ - New Rule??? No More than 2 of last 10 Posts Posted: 12/4/2006 2:35:55 PM
Would this not fall into Post Whoring or Bumping your own thread violations? Post "Whoring"??? Wow. I don't know that I'd call what I do "Post Whoring", nor am I vane enough to need to see my screen name published on a message board by intentionally bumping a thread I'm participating in. As I've said, I enjoy the forums and I do post with substance. I don't understand the problem or why I'm being prevented from continuing. Haha...I suppose you could say "get a life" and have some validity to that comment, but that's besides the point. I thought forums were for communication. As long as a member is not abusing the forums or the members within it, I don't see a problem. I've been watching a thread that I cannot post to, on and off, for several hours because I would like to respond to someone (now several people) who have addressed me directly. Once I am able to, I will compile all the responses into one, but it will likely be lengthy and will be a factor in the death of that thread for those who don't like reading lengthy responses. Then I may post once more within the following nine entries before having to repeat the process again...and that's only if the thread doesn't die before that happens. At which point, anyone that was looking for a response from me or any number of people who may have posted two out of the last ten is just flat outta luck. Anyway, I guess I've said my piece. Haha. I don't know why I expect these things to be heard or for any real consideration to go into them, but somehow, I do. LOL I just think it's too bad when the smallish percentage that use the forums here are doing so with integrity only to have their efforts dampened. Surely, there's a viable solution. Something other than shutting them out. I could be wrong.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 62 (view)

FAQ - New Rule??? No More than 2 of last 10 Posts Posted: 12/4/2006 1:50:05 PM
Post something with substance, other than just one, two, three etc. word replies, then the filter will allow you more than 2 out of the last 10. if you need to respond to a lot of posters at once, gather your thoughts, quote each member you are replying to, and answer both, or as many as you wish in one post, - problem solved. Many people have already adopted this style, even before the-filter was put in place. / Moderator - Trappedonbayst Is this what you're speaking of??? If so, it does not answer the question of why some are still unable to participate in threads despite not replying with "one, two, three etc. word replies" and are, in fact, replying with substance. I do (and have for a long time) try to respond to multiple posts by using two browsers to quote multiple portions of the thread. However, this also causes a thread to die because people do not want to read massive forum entries when they can see that the thread has many pages. I realize this is something that happens anyway, but it seems as though this auto filter is actually feeding that problem, as well as killing decent threads by making it impossible for an active participant in that thread to respond to the few that remain interested in it until more happen to come along...if that happens. As I said in the thread that I posted before discovering this one, I think it warrants consideration. I have no interest in getting into a debate about free speech or the right to leave if one doesn't like the rules. That's not what this is about. I like these forums. There's quality people here to discuss the issues with and to have a little fun as well. I just think that some of the attempts to see things run smoothly are counterproductive to the purpose of the forums.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 60 (view)

New Rule??? Posted: 12/4/2006 12:23:55 PM
I posted another thread before finding this one. My bad. Still, after reading much of this thread, it doesn't seem a solution to the downside of this issue is to be found or even of the mere interest to be found. It won't affect you if you have something of noteworthy contribution /Trappedonbayst It does effect those who have something noteworthy to post. While I have not read all the rules (my God, there's so many and they're everywhere), I believe I have been a pretty decent poster. I try to remain on topic and hardly ever post a small response.....though there have been rare exceptions. I've been real tactful in responding to abusive members and mostly don't reply to them at all. Still, when a thread is moving along nicely and two or more members happen to be focusing on the topic at the same time, it becomes difficult to carry on due to this restriction. I don't know what solution there could be, but perhaps a rating system for the members that frequent the forums which would allow them to participate at will based on their conduct might be one suggestion. I understand why the rule was thought up, but it really seems to be killing some good threads where nothing wrong is happening. Just my opinion. Not trying to step on any toes here.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

A frightening statistic....about web dating! Posted: 12/4/2006 8:24:53 AM
I believe, within that 35%, you'll find tht the majority of those "married" people are actually separated. This was such a hooplah when I first started posting here andI totally understand the issues connected to it. However, for some people, separated is not married. It's divorced without the finalized paperwork. Take whatever percentage of separated people out of that 35% and I think you'd see a much smaller number that is more indicative of the 10-12% of true scumbags in the world. Of course, maybe I'm just feeling optimistic today. LOL.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 76 (view)

Wayyyy outta my league!!! Posted: 12/3/2006 7:48:41 PM
true2spirit....very valid concern to have, if that's the case. However, as much as this was an enlightenment of sorts, I am done "healing". The awakening that I've experienced here is that I now believe that there are people out there that can make you want to change your situation. Not your life or your personality, but your situation. Does that make sense??? What I mean is, I've all but warded dating off completely for a little while now. I came to the realization that I needed to become happy with myself. Although this little experience was a major step forward in that, I think I made the majority of the way on my own. My dating experiences is what has made me doubt that there are really women out there capable of inspiring awe in just their personalities alone. Anyone can look at a gorgeous woman and be attracted to them. While I won't say that I'm not attracted to pretty women, I have always maintained that I need much more......MUCH more than that. I suppose there are all kinds of possibilities to consider why she just stopped commincation like this, but as I said before. I'm not holding any ill will about it. I'll still talk with her again and maybe some of this will come up later on and who knows what happens. My feet are firmly planted on the ground again and I don't have any hopes for anything anymore as far as attempting to establish a relationship with her, but I certainly wouldn't be against it if it were to develop anyway. I don't know though. My last relationship ended because of a similar situation to the one you just mentioned. Although the issues were much more recent and I knew they would be a clash where our personalities were concerned, but I don't know if I would be turned on or off by someone who found a way to better themselves through my influence. Good issue to raise in this case. Thanx.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 73 (view)

Wayyyy outta my league!!! Posted: 12/3/2006 3:32:33 PM
See, this is why I love these forums. When a thread reaches those forum members who are here for reasons other than to cause trouble, I gain a little faith in mankind. LOL. You guys are too nice. To the member that was playing devil's advocate.....If she were a dude, she did a damn good job playing the opposite. I suppose it's possible, though. Haha....if that were the case, it's definitely better that I don't find out. LOL. To the rest.....I still haven't heard back from her, so I am definitely taking it as a "no". I haven't sent another message since then either, but I probably will just to let her know that it's OK that she didn't want to respond. I'm a pretty fart smeller.....or is that smart feller.....I'm pretty confident that I know the reason she didn't want to respond. While I would have liked one, it's not a big deal. Some people have a hard time taking rejection and others have a hard time giving it. Oh yeah....just remembered...to the member who suggested that I may have gotten "too sappy".....this is a possibility. I know I made a great effort not to and even stated that in the message I sent, but as in awe of her as I was, I'm sure it was a little sappy, no matter how hard I tried not to be. Still, I can't help thinking that it would be a shame if a good woman took such a thing as being a negative. They say they want a guy in touch with himself...a "sensitive" guy...not afraid to say and do the things they feel. If they were to say all that and then use it against them when they do all of that, I'd be pretty disappointed. It probably does happen though. Maybe that's what happened here, but if so, it's better that I don't know. I'd like to come away from my experience with this woman with nothing negative and that would be negative. LOL. whitetigeress.....LOL...As I was reading your last post, I began thinking that you were going to tell me what an ego-maniac I am, but you didn't. Thanx for that and your words. I do think pretty highly of myself and I do hope my confidence (among other things) shows in my forum posts. However, as true as I believe my words in that post to have been, I'm really starting to think that she wasn't so "out of my league" after all. I couldn't leave a person hanging like this.....but that's just me and I don't think any less of her as a person because of it. Eh well. Like I said.....Onward.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 63 (view)

Wayyyy outta my league!!! Posted: 12/3/2006 5:07:16 AM
I think I owe an explanation for this "league" talk business. Do I really think she's out of my league as a person??? Absolutely not. I think rather highly of myself. Some people might even think too highly. LOL. Still, do eagles mate with woodpeckers??? I guess what I meant by saying she was likely out of my league was that I recognized her as being the total package. With all the right characteristics, she also had the looks. Let's face it. You can have all the intelligence, wit, charm, sense of humor....whatever. If you can't wrap it up in a decent looking wrapping, you're definitely limited. I consider myself a prime example of this phenomenon. Not ugly by any stretch of the imagination, but certainly not pretty either. LOL. She had it all. Chances are, she's looking for someone who has it all as well. As crappy as it is to say, I think all it takes is for us to fall short in just one way. It doesn't even have to be that we fall too short of anything. Just a little in one area or another. Mine just happens to be in the physical appearance department and maybe a little bit of my stubborness as well. LMAO. Since I'm not going to be changing either of those things for the sake of attracting or gaining the acceptance of anyone, I guess it's a good thing I'm happy with myself. It'll probably be that way for awhile. Haha. But really, I meant what I said when I said that I'm better off having crossed paths with her anyway. Seriously. I still haven't heard from her, but I've already accepted the very likely possibility that I won't or, at least, that I won't hear what I wanted to hear. Still, I'm not upset and I don't feel I have lost anything at all. If nothing else, it makes me feel alive to know that it is possible to find someone that just makes me tick. That's never happened to me before and I think that's the biggest reason for both the child-like excitement and the "letting it drive me crazy" part. Crash and burn....live and learn.....onward.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Suppressing desire Posted: 12/3/2006 4:10:27 AM
I guess I must have missed your point. I don't have any "addictions". I control what I crave, even when I over endulge. Perhaps I need to see another's answer to this before I can determine what, exactly, is being asked.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 29 (view)

butterfly effect Posted: 12/2/2006 8:22:54 PM
I thought the butterfly effect was the male version of the ugly duckling theory. Ya know. You find that wormy little dude and you see the potential. You gotta latch on now so you can be there when he turns into a big beautiful butterfly. LMAO. Hey, that's my new sales pitch. C'mon ladies. Get in on the ground level. Seriously....I don't think a person can go off of whether they get butterflies or not. I've recently been dumbfounded by a contact I made and I allowed myself to start thinking of all the good possibilities. However, the only thing you can count on is that you may feel like you will do what's needed to maintain a relationship with that person. There's no guarantee that they will. I don't believe in love at first sight. You may get a strong feeling, but intelligence would prevent anyone from calling it "love". Butterflies or no butterflies.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Suppressing desire Posted: 12/2/2006 8:11:11 PM
Yeah, all these new age theories are only helping to continue the trend in the destruction of relationships. Mostly because they're geared towards women and they are formulated to exploit their emotional nature and guys just aren't going to buy it. Eventually, guys will tell their own wife or girlfriend to stuff it. It's all garbage. This is not to say that there shouldn't be communication on such issues. Just don't read something or hear something like this and take it to your partner and lay it at his feet like it's some way to validate your blaming him for something. Discuss it. I almost guarantee he'll call it crap, but discussing it like adults rather than getting trapped by the emotional appeal will get you much further and you'll have a better chance at a successful relationship. As far as supressing desire. No way. Let 'er rip. Of course it's gonna cost you sometimes. Still, why would you deny yourself desire that you can attain when there's so many others that are just out of reach??? Only you can allow yourself to become a slave to anything or anyone. I love Italian food, but I'm not gonna let my physique go (anymore than it already has) just because of my weakness for pasta. I love playing music, but it doesn't control me. Here's a good one......I LOVE WOMEN!!!! I've yet to allow a bad one have anything up on me. You control the behaviors that make you a slave. That doesn't mean you can't indulge or even spoil yourself if you can and want to. Pretty simple explanation if you ask me.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 55 (view)

Wayyyy outta my league!!! Posted: 12/2/2006 7:57:30 PM
Well, it's now almost 11pm and the message was read this morning. Still no response. I think it's pretty safe to assume that's a big fat nagatory. LOL Ahh well. It's not as bad as I thought it would be. I kinda figured the answer was no anyway. Trust me, I appreciate all you guys have said about not feeling like someone is out of your league, but I think this woman was. I could be wrong though. I mean, if the shoe were on the other foot, I would have wanted to respond rather quickly regardless of my answer, and certainly within the course of an entire day. Eh, as nice of a lady as she seemed to be, she probably just didn't want to say the words that would surely disappoint me. No big deal. I'm a big boy. I can roll on. I'm still lucky to have crossed paths with her. Coulda been a beautiful thing, but I guess it just wasn't in the cards. Thanx for all your support folks.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 48 (view)

Wayyyy outta my league!!! Posted: 12/2/2006 2:00:15 PM
Hey folks. No response yet, but I wanted to reply to those who have taken it upon themselves to take jabs at me. I don't usually even take the time to acknowledge this sort of thing, but this time, I'm so happy with the way I feel, I just wanna say, Ya think I sound eighteen??? Really?? That old??? 'Cuz I feel like a kid....I was thinking maybe ten or twelve. If you think I'm a crackpot...cool....because it makes no sense to me, but (if ya don't mind my being crude) it's kinda like masterbation the first time. Ya felt a litle silly, but man it felt good. I'm just hoping I get the same sort of surprise in the end. LMAO To everyone else. Thanx for the advice and encouragement. I think I did have my hopes up a little bit, but the longer it goes without a response, the more I bring myself back to earth. It isn't going to kill me if she says no. I'll probably still take a little of the "outta my league" thing with me though. Seriously, you can see pictures of me......nothing better than average. If you could see the pictures of her and read her wit....you'd agree that she's out of my league as well. I think sometimes, a few good women just don't know this. That's why you see them with guys like me. So, thanx again and I'll be sure to update once I find out.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 35 (view)

Wayyyy outta my league!!! Posted: 12/2/2006 8:31:46 AM
Well, I did it. I tried not to lay it on too thick, but I think it came out that way anyway. I didn't really ask her out, but I explained what I was feeling and asked if she felt the same or would be willing to go out sometime to discover the possibilities. I still feel like a pansy because, now I'm waiting on an answer like a school boy. However, at least I've done what I can. After reading all of these responses, I'm going to try to recall some of the points and respond myself. First, this is far beyond physical attraction. I am surrounded by beautiful women several times a week and, although I see them, I never thought to ask any of them out. As I said, I've been real happy being single for awhile and didn't have the interest in even dating. She is gorgeous, but I think her beauty is even more obvious to me because of the things I know about her. To be completely honest, I haven't felt like this in all my life and the weirdest part is, it makes absolutely no sense. Like many of you have already mentioned, I have to understand that a person to person meeting may reveal some things that make me think differently. I can't imagine that in this situation, but I know it's possible. Also, anybody that knows me personally knows that I don't do things like this. I'm such a practical person. Everything has to make sense before I make a move on it. My friends are honestly baffled....as am I. LOL. To those who have agreed with me about feeling/sounding like a pansy. Haha. Thanx. I'm not ashamed. Like I said. It feels so strange, but good at the same time. Come to think of it. I think the greatest beauty is that there's an inner peace about it all for me. Nobody can take away what I have learned through my transactions with her. Even if I do get rejected, I'm still ahead. Ahhh....but how lucky I'd be if she said yes. Nothing to do now, but wait.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Wayyyy outta my league!!! Posted: 12/1/2006 10:20:37 PM
I am driving myself nuts. LOL But see, that's just it. I'm not really a shy person. I'm pretty confident and I'm definitely not the nervous type. The difference this time is, I feel so good about the connection we've already made that I think the positive possibilities are too great to ignore, but in knowing that, will the disappointment be too much? Like I said. I'll cherish the fact that I had the opportunity to get to know this woman, even as little as I know now. It really can only get better by trying, but the possibilities that I see are what I've hoped for for a long time and, in fact, didn't believe were within me until now. I'm stricken.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

Why do men lose the nerve? Posted: 12/1/2006 10:11:32 PM
So many things come to mind here. First, to the OP.....I'm not sure what transpired in your case, but I know I'm much better with the written word. I can create an awesome message. Go to IM and I'm still pretty good, but it's more spontaneous, so my skills drop off a little. The telephone has never been my thing, but I love this portion of the "getting to know you" process. I lose a lot here. Get me in person and I gain some of it back, but not as much as what I can accomplish in a message. That said, I don't think it's fair to judge someone on the content of their messages. Like I said, I can make one as deep and elegant or thought provoking as you want. However, the "nerve" some of us lose is in hearing things like some have said here. Some women can't differentiate between a guy saying they're "sexy" and another saying they're "beautiful". DING DING DING....."ALL THEY WANT IS SEX" I think that's what actually happens inside the heads of many women as soon as they receive a simple compliment. Baffling. Therefore, sometimes, we don't put a lot of effort into our messages because we figure it's best to keep it simple to see if anything transpires. It's really one of those "damned if ya do, damned if ya don't" situations. The best you can do is to try and steer the conversation into something meaningful. Don't judge them and then ignore them based on a simple message. If you think there's any potential there at all, give them the benefit of the doubt. If they cannot hold a conversation with you, then obviously, it's not going to work out for you. And don't stop expressing yourself through your pictures. If you're comfortable with what you have up, good for you. Once again, if someone pays you a compliment, don't assume that he's just looking to bag you. I'm as honest as they come and the truth is, it's definitely crossed his mind, but that may not be his primary motivation. You won't know unless you try to find out. But yeah, I don't think the issue is whether they've lost their nerve or not. Beyond the first or second message, if they can't hold a conversation, it's likely that they either aren't very good communicators (which presents a whole slew of problems) or they really do just want to bag you.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Wayyyy outta my league!!! Posted: 12/1/2006 9:53:04 PM
Man, I am stuck in the worst spot ever. I've been talking to friends about this and I'm getting similar advice from everyone. Hopefully something new can be said here. I've made contact with an amazing woman. Not through POF, but another site. So far, we've only exchanged emails, but this is where it gets weird. Have you ever felt such a strong connection before even laying eyes on the person??? I've seen pictures and she's absolutely beautiful, but I mean, there's so much more to put into the equation. Still, through the messages, reading her profile and her blog entries....this woman has done something that I thought was impossible. She brought me out of a funk I've been stuck in for a long time. Add to the situation that I've been quite content with being single and took on the philosophy that I would remain happily single until a woman came along that made me not want to be single anymore. Part of the reason was that I was unsure that I could ever really love again. But this connection is so strong, it's nuts. On one hand, I think it's like a message from the angels. Fate or something like it. It's just too weird to make sense of it any other way. However, on the other hand, I feel like she's too good to be true. She is way out of my league. Physically attractive, smart, witty, mature, and sophisticated in a way that presents class, but not stuffiness. She's got the world in the palm of her hand and she could do so much better than me. She could likely pick anybody she wants to. So, my problem. If I make the move and ask her to meet for a date, is it possible that I can fully prepare for the rejection I'm sure I'll face??? I think acknowledging it is the first step. Something I have told my friends is that, I will forever be grateful for making a connection with her regardless of what happens. I can't begin to explain the things that I've realized about myself since we began conversing. Still, I can't deny the loss that I'll feel upon discovering that there's no mutual interest. Haha.....I feel like a pansy. Guys aren't supposed to feel like this. LOL. So, c'mon folks. Gimme some advice. How can I go about this and not freak her out and how can I best prepare myself for what I believe is inevitable???

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

Are you willing? Posted: 11/30/2006 5:34:57 AM
The OP said the two of them were comfortable in bed together. This, to me, means they've likely been together long enough to hold all the appropriate conversations and discover eachothers limitations. If that's the case, the easy answer to this question is, yeah...go for it...on both accounts. If a woman says that to me and I don't think she has a clue (because yes, we guys can think of some crazy stuff;), I'll tell her. This would lead to the conversation needed before getting into that sort of situation. However, I'm pretty open and I'd be pretty freaked out if a woman told me to do what I wanted before a comfort zone was established. Knowing myself, I'd think she was crazy.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 29 (view)

Why do women always think we are trying to pick them up ? Posted: 11/28/2006 8:34:45 PM
This is crazy, but an all too common problem. If there's been contact, there's some form of interest. It doesn't have to be a pick up....yet. What's the harm in a little conversation??? I reply to every message I get. If I'm conversing with a woman and all of a sudden the answers get real short or just stop, I assume that she's done with the conversation and doesn't want to talk anymore. That's a good indication that she's not sharing any interest that you may have in her. Also, I don;t know if I want to make an attempt to pick up anyone until after I've had a chance to speak with them. I know there's all kinds of games that get played, but I don't know the rules and I don;t care to learn. I am capable of picking up the little clues and I can tell if a woman wants to further the conversation or even if she wants me to make an attempt to ask her out. I guess I don't see the problem in making an initial contact for whatever reason strikes you at the moment and expecting there to be a simple and polite response one way or the other. Even if they want to jump to conclusions, it only takes a second to reply with a simple "thank you for the kind words". I guess I just don't get it.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

Who here always falls for those who aren't into them but when someone's interested, they're not? Posted: 11/28/2006 10:48:49 AM
Yup. I think it's just human nature. I see a lot of people like to think that there's some magnetism between people who just attract eachother, but I have yet to see it. The times that it does look as if that is happening, often times there are other factors at play. Like money or status. Either way, the average person probably experiences what you are more often than not. As very average as I recognize myself to be, I am in no short supply of opportunities. However, those opportunities have yet to intrigue me. It's not because I'm gay or because I'm picky. I mean, everyone is picky to some extent, but there are a bunch of reasons that these women have not appealed to me. Some of them I did date for a short period of time and found that there was nothing really there. Likewise, I know I've expressed interest and had the lady turn me down or completely ignore me. This usually raises questions because we get caught up in the moment, but it is what it is. I've discovered that, for whatever the rason, whether shallow or not, if a connection is not made, it's usually a good thing. I wish it were some form of natural magnetism, but it's not.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Curious minds want to know Posted: 11/27/2006 4:25:06 PM
I'm not usually good at flirting in public. Especially upon initially meeting a woman. However, I'm much more relaxed in private. Haha....still, I find it uncomfortable to flirt in private as well because I don't want to come off like I just wanna bump uglies. Don;t get me wrong. I do wanna bump uglies, but that's not all I'm interested in and I don't like putting that idea out there.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

since when ..... Posted: 11/27/2006 4:22:28 PM
Haha....this is the funny part of these types of disussions. We always look to the extreme just above what it is that we enjoy. I'm paraphrasing, but I recall a psychologist (maybe Freud) saying something like "There is no such thing as sexual deviance when performed between two consenting adults, behind closed doors. We're all freaky in our own way. If you're not, hey, that's fine too. But we're not freaks just because we might like something that another doesn't. Strangling only scares me because of the possibilities of fatal accident, but I've tried to give this satisfaction to a woman before. It just didn't feel safe to me and I know I wasn't able to do it to her liking. Still I don't judge those who are experienced and can get away with it. Great for them.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

since when ..... Posted: 11/27/2006 8:32:22 AM
I agree with the premise here, but I have to say, as long as people are choking eachother and using eachother as toilets, nobody seems to mind it when I confess to enjoy smacking a nice shapely butt. Seriously, different strokes for different folks. The human minds is a very complex thing and sexuality is very much connected to a persons psyche. If you can't stimulate your mind during sex, you're never fully enjoying yourself.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

drunk date Posted: 11/26/2006 8:56:52 PM
Hmmmm....I've never had a first date get drunk, but I doubt her getting drunk would be a major issue. If she were an angry or hostile drunk or some other form of unpleasantness, I would have an issue because I firmly believe a drunk persons words and actions are their sober thoughts. I've never gotten ripped on a first date, but I have had a few too many on a second date. If I've chatted with the person for a long time before meeting, it's a little easier to let your guard down and just have a good time. I put it right in my profile. I will occasionally drink too much, but I always have fun doing it and never have been a problem for me (except when I was first dealing with ym ex leaving). Ya can't judge a person by whether or not they drink. Maybe 50 years ago, but not in the 21st century.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

sex in airplanes, whats your opinion? Posted: 11/26/2006 8:48:15 PM
whats your opinion? I'm against it. I hate flying.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Wow.. here's a new one.. Posted: 11/25/2006 6:53:11 PM
Haha.....feel free to not answer my calls and not call me again. Just spare me the "lets be friends" garbage. LOL. I mean, if you've been seeing eachother for a long period of time, then I can see this being a valid line, but most of the time, you get this line early on. How many friendships actually occur this way??? It's rejection. I don't feel like buddying around with someone who just told me I'm not good enough. Like I said.....feel free to blow me off. Just spare me the silly courtesies. They're too transparent. Besides, what's wrong with just communicating what it is that has turned them off. Is it because they don't want to work at anything and hope that the "perfect match" is just around the corner??? Maybe it just shows their own personal insecurities. It's nuts. Sometimes the cliches are true. Most times, however, it's someone not willing to admit a mistake or not willing to put forth the effort to make things work. Either way, it's a good indication that things are not gonna work.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

far away contacts Posted: 11/25/2006 3:06:14 PM
Your only limits in life are self-imposed. I don't buy this line in a lot of areas in life, but in this case, it's 150% true.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

far away contacts Posted: 11/25/2006 11:46:36 AM
Yeah, I can see the peripheral issues. Just as in real life, there's far more things for women to be worried about than men in this situation. Seriously, no guy is gonna get creeped out by finding out a woman from half way across the globe is getting her kicks off of talking to him. He might find it odd or silly, but he won't likely get creeped out. However, the inhibitions I was talking about were not of this type. I'm suggesting that contacting someone from a distance makes them safe. You know the chances of meeting are relatively low so there's nothing stopping you from contacting them and saying what you want to. As simple as it sounds, there are few who can claim to actually do this. There's always the "what if" factor and I think that has been magnified by the "menu" phenomenon that I mentioned in my last response here. Heck, I've done it. Women seem to be turned off by a simple compliment these days. I wouldn't ever contact someone and say "Damn baby!!! You're hot!!!", but I have contacted them and said that they're attractive or pretty. When it's a local woman, these comments are exactly the same because they immediately think "What if"........They assume I am just another guy trying to get into their pants. The woman from half way across the planet knows the chances of meeting are slim and they will respond to the compliment more times out of ten than the woman within driving distance because of this. Like I said. It really is a shame because a lot of women have found that they enjoy talking with me and a great majority have expressed their disappointment in the distance between us after they allowed themselves to chat and get to know me. Now, if only a few from the general region would follow suit, there might just be two less people in the singles scene.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

far away contacts Posted: 11/25/2006 9:28:07 AM
I get this a good bit as well and I think it has to do with inhibitions. Yeah, it's a safety/comfort zone sort of thing. Although it is kind of frustrating, I rather enjoy getting to chat with these ladies. It's a shame, though, that the inhibitions prevent others from making contact or even responding to contact made. I believe the distance allows then to just assume that we'll never meet and then they get the opportunity to see that I'm a pretty good guy. Then they find themselves frutrated as well. LOL. I've said it a million times. Dating sites have created a lot of problems for the singles scene. People have developed even more walls to surround themselves with than before as a result of the illusion that these electronic "menus" will provide them with easy access to someone better than those that are easily accessible. It could be so simple, but people just don't let it be. Funny creatures we are.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 162 (view)

How can I get my boyfriend to spank me? Posted: 11/22/2006 4:23:11 PM
All it takes for me is the request. Ya just better know what you're asking for first.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 167 (view)

I still love you but I am not in love with you..... Posted: 11/22/2006 4:20:36 PM
I just think what some here are trying to explain is nothing more than compassion. You can have compassion and genuinely care for someone, but that isn't love. Love is a very unique emotion that only resembles other emotions in minor ways. The entirety of true love is something that runs deeper than these other feelings alone. Or even any combination of them. I don't believe that true love goes away. If you fall in love with someone, this means you want to be with them forever. You feel that strong connection that makes you want to always be a part of that person and vice versa. If you lose that, you've allowed it to happen because those strong emotions should hurt so bad as they fade that you'll do anything to repair what has been shaken. Just my outlook on it all. I'm learning very quickly that love means many things to many people. It doesn't make them right, but I suppose I could be wrong as well.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 161 (view)

I still love you but I am not in love with you..... Posted: 11/22/2006 9:18:39 AM
Yeah, being "in love" with someone is different than loving them. You love your parents and siblings. You love your pets. These are all forms of love. The love you have for your partner is a totally different love and putting it in the same category with all the others is undermining the value of this type of love. You never fall "in love" with your biological family (and if you do.......brughrugh). Therefore, you cannot fall out of love with them. The difference is, you can fall out of love with someone you fell in love with, but it's a choice, not something that just happens. And the sticking point for me is, you have to question the depth of that love if you can actually make the choice to allow yourself to fall out of love. Perhaps you can still call it love, but I'd call it lazy love. Nothing worth having ever comes easy, but we certainly do a fine job of making things harder than they need to be.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 155 (view)

I still love you but I am not in love with you..... Posted: 11/22/2006 1:41:31 AM
In my case, my ex made the choice for me that he was not good enough for me as he had stated a few times when we broke up. I know it feels crappy. There really isn't a good way to end a relationship. I just wanted to comment on this statement. Sometimes it's true. I ended the last relationship I attempted because I knew that I was not going to be any good for her. I told her that I knew I was not going to be what she needed and that I was probably not good enough for her. By that, I meant that I recognized some things that I knew we would eventually clash on and I knew that as passionate as she was and as much as these issues meant to and effected her, I knew I would only be a source of frustration for her. Yeah, you're right. It does seem like someone has taken something from you, but I also think it can be seen as someone giving you what you deserve. A chance to find someone that will be a better partner.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

What do you think? Posted: 11/21/2006 11:58:56 PM
Haha....I doubt that anyone can tell, for sure, using this strategy. I mean, the principle is a pretty decent one. It sets the idea that, if two people can throw caution to the wind and just let it all hang out, then there isn't anything they can't experience together. I believe people put too much stock in their sexuality. Some people, both men and women, protect themselves from sexual relationships because it's what makes them feel used when things don't work out. However, when you think of the importance of sexual compatibility, we do kind of do things ass backwards. You meet and start dating. You discover that your personalities click. You spend a lot of time together and start developing feelings for the person. You start messing around and BOOM. One of them is a friggin' prude and thinks sex is for procreation only or that it should be done in a very vanilla fashion. You're made to feel like a freak for your own personal interests and tastes. Now what??? You walk away from someone you clicked with on every other level. In theory, it would be great if something like this could work in, say, a weeks time. Spend a decent amount of time with them, see if your personalities click, communicate a little of your sexual tastes and then have a go at it to see if it's worth developing the deeper feelings. Some will say that I place too much importance on sex for what I just said, but you're fooling yourself if you think it's not that important. You can love someone and not enjoy having sex with them and you can enjoy having sex with someone and not love them, but if you're going to have a good relationship on the larger level, you better be able to enjoy sex with the one you love. If you find out you enjoy sex with them before falling in love, I see nothing wrong with that and, in fact, think that it's a better way of approaching the whole situation. Just as a footnote....I'm not a fan of the one night stand or the easy lay myself.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 23 (view)

What Are Your Views On Alimony? Posted: 11/21/2006 11:38:03 PM
Alimony should only be awarded if the major financial contributor leaves. I know there are extreme circumstances where one party is so oppressed and/or abused, but feels trapped because they cannot support themselves, but there are other social services for that sort of thing. My ex tried to go after me for alimony after running off with another guy. I told her I'd sooner spend millions on lawyers than pay her a dime. The current system is too easily abused. It's also an issue that brings the whole "equal rights" thing back up. Men and women are just as capable as the other. A man with no education can find work. So can a woman. A man with limited skills can find work. So can a woman. You can't have equal rights and then play the "little ol' women" card when things get tough. Well, ya can, but it's wrong. LOL

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 33 (view)

Who's Your Momma Posted: 11/21/2006 11:19:38 PM
Being a single guy, I've realized a lot of things about average household chores. I used to hate doing dishes. I mean, I still don't like it, but it's not as bad as I thought before. I didn't do dishes at all for almost ten years. Now I have to or I'm eating off paper and, while that does happen at times, I have dishes. Why spend the cash on paper. I'm still no Betty homemaker, but I know there's a lot of things that I've been doing for myself that will make things easier once I become involved with another woman. I'm certainly not going to be in a hurry to find one just because it'll mean the division of chores and I'm quite sure she'll be better at it all than I am, but I'm quite capable of taking care of myself. Also, I always get a laugh when I see women talk about men when they're sick. They all say the same thing. "Men are such babies when they're sick." Not this guy. It is funny though because I think a lot of people in loving relationships will milk the situation, even a little bit, to get the extra attention from their partner. I have and I know my ex has.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

Who's Your Momma Posted: 11/20/2006 1:16:47 PM
Personally, I have fun reading this kind of..........stuff. LOL. It's fun to watch how a valid complaint can be turned into an "every man is horrible" b!tch session. Personally, I love a woman that takes on an old fashioned role in the household. I know they're a dying breed these days, but those are real women to me. I never consider them to be serving me. I look at it as an even trade. See, these women that constantly complain about men today are missing all the finer points. They never stop their feminist BS long enough to look around and see that their man is doing a lot of things that they either couldn't or do not want to do themselves. Good men don't count on a servant for a wife, but increasingly, we're also becoming very underappreciated. I'm not even going to go into detail about the things that men do that aren't noticed when topics like this come up. If they're blatantly ignored, those who would need to be enlightened of them are already too far gone. Recognition and appreciation is the key. Men are just as much at fault for not recognizing what their women do and not appreciating it, but that doesn't excuse women from behaving the same way or vice versa. Keep your "why me" or "me first" outlook on it all and see how far that takes you.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 115 (view)

I still love you but I am not in love with you..... Posted: 11/18/2006 6:37:19 PM
This is the way I see it. If someone says "I love you, but I'm not in love with you", and then they leave for someone else.......they're just a ho....be it man ho or female. In this case, they were never really in love with the person and probably told someone else that very thing right before they came to the person they're now using the line on. If someone says :I love you, but I'm not in love with you", and then they leave to be on their own than maybe they really do believe what they just said, but the truth of the matter is still that they were never really in love with them in the first place. You don't fall out of love with someone you really love. It doesn't happen. You give up. It's that simple.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

same uncommon first name as my ex who rejected me sexually Posted: 11/18/2006 12:27:59 PM
I doubt i'll ever have that problem. My ex's name was Lucretia (Lucrecia). Historians know about this wench. LOL If I ever meet another woman named Lucretia, I'll probably run like hell. In fact, I wish I knew about the name before.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 92 (view)

I still love you but I am not in love with you..... Posted: 11/16/2006 7:43:46 PM
Nope. I've heard all the examples and possible scenarios and I'm still not buying it. It's just a cliche line that people use to try to soften the blow, as if that could happen. What it really means is, "I never really loved you anyway and I should have done something about it sooner, but now I feel obligated to try to spare any angst on your part that I can. See, this leads into something else that has always bugged me. I don't tell a woman I love them until I'm sure of that. Guys will get ridiculed for this, but if you think about it, handling it this way, you should never have to use a cliche line like this. If you waited to say it until you were sure you meant it, then you really love a person. If you really love a person, you'll do whatever you can to make that relationship work. The only time I can see this being an acceptable line is if the feeling is mutual. I do believe that people change, but I don't believe true love changes. Maybe I'm just a big softy, but I'm calling BS on this whole thing. Sounds too much like, "I've gotten all I want from this, now I want out."

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 69 (view)

I still love you but I am not in love with you..... Posted: 11/15/2006 8:54:31 PM
I dunno. I could deal with it in time, but I don't quite buy the whole idea behind this. If you love someone, then there's a reason outside of your own affection for this person that you're growing apart. Make it work. I mean, unless you're looking for the thrill of a new relationship every time it gets old or requires some work, I can't see why anyone would want to leave someone they love. Just doesn't compute in this mind.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 64 (view)

I still love you but I am not in love with you..... Posted: 11/15/2006 3:18:11 PM
This is one of my all time favorite BS lines. I got it when my wife and mother of my two children decided to leave. Of course, I couldn't be surprised that she was using such a cliche line. She had been consulting with her new boyfriends redneck white trash family for tips on how to make the transition. My response to her was too easy. "You don't do these things (sleeping around) to people you love, so cut the crap and be gone." She tried to say it was something that she would always feel because I fathered her kids, but still....you'd think if there were even a shred of respect in her, she could have ended it another way. Eh well. Guess it's just my take on this little line. I suppose there are situations where it could be a valid comment.

Dime12804

Joined: 9/1/2005

Msg: 38 (view)

Apology flowers. Posted: 11/14/2006 7:13:03 AM
khrockproducer ......Forgive me if I'm misunderstanding this..... It sounds to me like you are....trying to see your situation as a man in a more individual "tone" and on the right road. Mature.. .....but I'm not sure if you're being condescending here or not. The reason I bring this up is because this line alone, depending on how it is read, changes the entire tone of the post. The only thing that ever bothers me in your outlook is when...the "we" thing comes up about men, and...then you seem to have some trouble with feeling that men are a collective who have 'stereotypical' problems with 'women....but these come across as canned mysogynic issues, the same as the assumption that 'men are all the same'... I don't have trouble seeing that men are a "collective". I don't see things that way. I realize that men and women are individuals. I'm usually very careful about making blanket statements or generalizing. However, while pointing out that I may be doing this, you do the same by stating that men have "stereotypical problems with women". While I do recognize the stereotypes, I don't believe I have a problem with this any more than I have a problem identifying each person as an individual. However, just because there are stereotypes doesn't make them untrue in every situation, nor does it mean that they aren't true for a majority. Addidtionally, I happen to believe that accepting the individual, regardless of whether the stereotypes can be matched to them or not, is part of understanding. Also, make no mistake about it. There are absolutely no misogynic issues here and I will do whatever I can to avoid that topic within this one because it will change the focus too much and does not really apply. To suggest that I hate women is ludicrous and shifting this conversation over to a feminist one will only add confusion to the conversation. LOL. I believe there's enough of that already. As for the rest of your post....again, I don't know how to take it. It reads like you're looking down your nose at me, but that's cool either way. The truth of the matter is, my "socio-economic status" or my social ranking in thie world.....however you want to put it, is exactly this. I was born "PO". That's right. We couldn't even afford the "OR". My entire family has been lower class to lower end middle class. The men were military and most were fairly uneducated, laborer types. Women were typically home makers and good mothers. I find no shame in my humble background, however, I have taken to educating myself. I have also seen the world through the military and I have also been a laborer, but I am (and have been since childhood) currently educating myself because I aim to fight off the stereotypes that have people assuming that class must be associated with socio-economic" status. My motivation is based on that kind of ignorance. So, I know where you're coming from, but I also think you've created a vicious circle. My point??? Perhaps I'm still "low class" because of my background and maybe others will think similarly because I have just described my background, but I challenge them to attack my reason, not my status. In doing so, I believe they'll find themselves matched (if not beaten). Getting back on topic.....I may have read a lot of your response incorrectly. It seemed to be an underhanded jab at almost every turn. However, I believe my answers to the rest of those conversing here should be sufficient for the issues you've raised. There is no hatred towards women (I adore women and prefer their company to that of men). There is no poorly planned comments making stereotypical references. I normally (not always) think my words through fairly well. When I do make a broad brushed statement, it is directly relevant to the context of the conversation and meant to be taken at face value at that point. Again, I think I have enough fun on these forums for anyone who reads my posts to know that I'm an easy going doooood. Knowing that, I would hope that they would be able to read my posts correctly more often than not. Really, I think there needs to be more emoticons. That could help express tone and emotion in a word or sentence. Might help a lot of the misconceptions on these forums that tend to lead discussions off the beaten path.

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