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Thread: careful of who you let into your life......

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 53 (view)

careful of who you let into your life...... Posted: 3/25/2006 10:21:39 PM
Just know that not all men are like that. There are many good men out there.. Good luck with your search. For all you reading this, identity theft and fraud are real. Just don't let fear run your life. If you suspect that someone has collected some of your information, or that strange things are happening in your daily routine (ie. credit card being declined, missing a credit card or bank card from your wallet) here are some links to help you all out. Reporting to the credit agencies should be the second thing you do after cancelling your credit cards. www.equifax.ca-514 493 2314 or 1 800 465 7166 www.tuc.ca - 1-866-525-0262 www.recol.ca - to file a complaint about online or white collar (fraud) crime - 1.888.495.8501 Check out the recol site if you want to see the impact that identity theft has, and how frequent it occurs.

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

dating an amputee or somehow disfigured person? Posted: 2/20/2006 11:32:04 PM
I have a son with a disability. He uses crutches to walk. He's a wonderful boy, and is very popular at school, and outside of school. I imagine that he won't have trouble with girls growing up as he is very personable and willing and able to have conversations with the girls. I pray that they aren't cruel to him however as he grows into his teen years. Having said that, due to having a son with a disability, I wouldn't have any issue dating a girl with a disability that didn't affect her ability to nurture a healthy relationship. I have noticed women that I've found attractive with disabilities in the past, and if I had the balls, I'd ask them out...

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

dating with kids Posted: 2/20/2006 11:23:26 PM
Kids get involved with someone much quicker than we do. We as parents need to shield them from the letdowns that we face when something doesn't work out, cause they feel the letdown 10X's worse than we do. They naturally want to see you happy, and they may genuinely like the person. They also internalize it in such a way that they may take responsibility for your relationship not working. All good reasons to be cautious in introducing your children early on. If the woman is being pushy and gets offended, then you can take that as a little red flag about that woman. I'm guessing that this woman either has no kids, or isn't a very attentive parent.

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Should single parents date only other single parents? Posted: 2/20/2006 11:19:34 PM
My personal experience and the experience of my single parent friends around me says that there are 2 different types of people. Parents and non-parents. Parents can date non-parents, but there is a big learning curve, and the parent needs to be patient with the extra child they are taking on.

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

Digging for complements Posted: 2/20/2006 11:03:00 PM
If she asks... Do these pants make me look fat? Just smile and say, "No Honey, it's not the pants that make you look fat....It's the fat that makes you look fat." That should do the trick.

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

Have any of you women been in or wanted to be in porn? Posted: 11/21/2005 4:21:19 PM
Interesting how many people have observed the posts versus those that have posted! Kudos to you brave folks who have put their profiles in this thread.

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 371 (view)

Class action against Yahoo Personals and Match.com for fraud Posted: 11/21/2005 3:50:44 PM
I was on lavalife about 2 months ago, and I don't remember this, but apparently I signed up for some kind of discount lifestyle service. Last month, I noticed it on my credit card bill, it was $12.95 CDN. I got busy with stuff, and then just paid my bill on the due date. This month, I noticed it there again. This time, I'm more attentive and ticked off. I called, and apparently, I clicked on some button, and they charged my credit card, saying that I signed up for it. They gave me 30 days free, and now they're billing me. Tell me, didn't Rogers run into trouble with a class action law suit of similar proportions just a few years ago with negative billing? I'm very upset, and wondering if anyone else ran into the same problem???

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 40 (view)

Want to clear up my financial baggage before getting into a relationship..Is this wrong?? Posted: 11/20/2005 7:44:46 AM
Great post! I too was in this situation. 2 years ago, I left a long term relationship and there were financial issues associated, as is normal in those situations. I made a plan, and stated that 2 years from then, I would be ready to move on. The plan was going along just as I had wanted, and then about a year ago I met a wonderful woman. It was difficult for me to share with her that I had these financial issues, and that I wasn't sure I was exactly ready for a long term relationship. But, I knew that this was someone that I could take seriously. So I held on and hoped that she would hold on too. Reality is that many women do want to see financial security. (in my opinion, and judging on my past experiences) The outcome of the situation is unimportant for your purposes. But I believe that you're doing the appropriate thing by righting the ship, so to speak. The only thing is, that you can't determine when the right person will come along. She can come at any time. Just be wary not to shut that person out when she comes along just because you're not ready financially. You sound like a man of solid integrity. The next Ms. Right shouldn't be too far away for you. Good luck fishing!

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Your part in things... Posted: 10/15/2005 9:31:27 PM
One other thing..Melissa... You will be something special to someone some day. You're still young, and your prospective dates are not likely to match your experience being a single mom and all. Not likely going to be mature enough for you. Don't take their immaturity personally. Just know that you're special to someone, and hope that's enough for now. I find you strikingly attractive, if that means anything. Good luck finding the answers you're looking for! K

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Your part in things... Posted: 10/15/2005 9:26:47 PM
I look at the failed relationship with my kids mom and I cringe with disapointment and "wow, what was I thinking about in that relationship?". But it has taught me many things. I'm 6 years removed from that one and have learned a lot about myself since then. I guess what I'm saying is that what has happened to us in the past is just that...in the past. What you learned from those relationships is usually what you now want that's different from what you had, and what you definitely don't want. Don't waste your time and energy focusing on beating yourself up for what has happened. Pick up the pieces and figure out how you can put it all together to make something great out of your life and your kids life. Life is a journey of learning. Those who have learned, are in the past forever. Those that are learning are on the forefront of what's new and exciting in life. Moving forward! As for Irish I wish that I had seen that there were those who would choose to be with me regardless of the fact that I was a single mom, I wish that I had seen that I was attractive & that I am an amazing catch. I didnt & I settled. I believe that you are a truly great catch. You seem very grounded. From what I"ve read of you I think you're something special!

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

Answers to Posted: 10/15/2005 9:17:49 PM
Ya know...there's another thing that I love about single moms.... They need a break every now and then from the every day! They work hard to put food on the table, then, they prepare the food and serve it. And not always to an appreciative crowd! Clean, laundry blah blah blah... and with no expectation of return. So, this brings me to my point of what I love about single moms. When they get a break from their kids, I get to spoil them by letting them do nothing and me doing for them. For me, there's a great reward in the quiet solace of a Sunday morning with bacon and eggs with a good newspaper, and quiet music in the background. Possibly my favorite thing. Single moms get that, and appreciate it!

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Stop being a NICE guy Posted: 10/15/2005 8:36:47 AM
I gotta say that I agree with almost everything you said. I think it comes down to confidence. Eventually, once you're involved in a serious committed relationship, it's okay to show a very small amount of sensitivity, but generally speaking, a woman is looking for a man with confidence. You can be gentle and kind without catering to her though.

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

For guys- ball cupping Posted: 10/5/2005 2:40:50 PM
Exactly the way you described it! ...lol...

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Why no replies???? Posted: 9/28/2005 5:03:21 AM
Thanks for the feedback. I've made one minor adjustment based on your advice. I have some ideas on how to spice up my profile, and will make that change when I have more time.

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Why no replies???? Posted: 9/27/2005 8:21:43 PM
Hey all... I've sent out a few messages in which I spend some time personalizing the email. I make it personal, so that the person receiving the email knows it's not just a mass kind of thing. I'm well employed, intelligent, reasonable good looking, and I haven't had too much trouble in my past hooking up with members of the opposite sex. I'm easy going and easy to get along with. What's the secret on here? Is there a problem with my profile? Should I update it? Any suggestions would be helpful! Thanks,

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

Any single parents out there with a special needs child? Posted: 9/25/2005 7:24:32 AM
Oh... where I was going with that ... Not only do you have to be concerned with the child with the affliction, but you have to watch out for the siblings as well. It is sometimes easy to neglect their needs when you have to focus on a special need.

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

Any single parents out there with a special needs child? Posted: 9/25/2005 7:19:49 AM
I think the misdiagnosis has a lot to do with the retraction of the quality of physical education for these children. If the kid is fidgety and can't concentrate, it's easier to diagnose him with ADHD and put him on medications to calm him down, than to find what is necessary for him. IE, Phys Ed every day of the week. Funny thing about these kids is that for the most part, these little guys are awesome little runners. Put them on the cross country team or the track team...maybe soccer too. Anything with lots and lots of running. I'm positive the problem is much greater and deeper than that simple solution, but I imagine the reduction in Phys Ed has something to do with the increased number of ADHD diagnosis. I have 2 boys, one of them has Cerebral Palsy and also suffers from Non-Verbal learning disorder. (this is of the same strain as Aspergers..similar features, but not as pronounced). The down side is that the kids sometimes see him as acting peculiar. He has real time trouble with mathematics, and anything conceptual. Thing is about him, is he's a super charmer. He wins people (adults mainly) immediately. Recently he made the front page of the newspaper with a comment he made to a local celebrity, and everywhere I go, I get people grinning at me and telling me what a wonderful boy I have. He's oblivious to his limitations. My other boy has no real afflictions that we are aware of. He is a superstar in his own right (in my eyes!) but I am aware of the shadow of his brother that he is under. (his brother is very well known to the local media and is often on billboards and in advertisements) He's creating his own identity and I'm very proud of him. He's a hard working, kind, conscientious young boy.

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

Sending e-mail... Posted: 9/22/2005 9:48:42 PM
It sure is disapointing when you don't get replies... but the truth of it is, when you do get that one reply, it could be very exciting and enjoyable. I'd say it's worth it to wait...wouldn't you?

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Will I ever fall out of love with him Posted: 9/5/2005 3:23:37 PM
Rhonda, Everyone heals differently. No matter what it is, it's a loss that you have suffered. Much like losing a loved one to death. You will heal in your own way eventually. It's normal to go through the 5 phases of loss which are (in no order as they happen differently for everyone) Bargaining, Grief, Anger, Depression and then finally acceptance. Some tips are, writing out your feelings while they're happening. Remember the bad, but more importantly, remember the good. Remembering the good will help you to heal more than thinking of the bad. The bad will keep you in anger. You want acceptance, and you need to take the time to get there. As for Sally, personally, I take offence to your post. I'm a very sensitive caring guy, who loved very deeply and was hurt very badly. It's not just women who get hurt, you know. This is the second time it has happened to. I was very giving and loving and didn't do anything wrong to deserve that treatment. I treated her the way any person male or female would want to be treated. I sincerely hope that I never have the displeasure of dating a man-hating person such as yourself.

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

Would you? Posted: 9/5/2005 11:13:28 AM
If you're with your mate, and you're already exchanging body fluids, what's the big deal? I liked the comment about sex without restrictions..

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

Is it possible to have a broken soul? Posted: 9/5/2005 10:55:17 AM
Incredible reply feistygurl... Recently had my heart broken for the second time in 3 years. I felt at first that it was too much to bear. Over time, things have improved and I know I'm ready to move on. The difference this time vs last time is that I know now that I am capable of loving richly and deeply. I know that my ability to care and nurture a potential partner is very healthy and the person on the receiving end of my love will be as lucky to have me as I would to have them. The human spirit will keep us all going. Despite the disapointments, we all are still looking to find the person to grow with. To achieve an interdependance where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Isn't that what we are all looking for? Male or Female?

Joined: 9/3/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

Alone and ok with it Posted: 9/5/2005 10:41:04 AM
Well, I went through a journey of searching for my independance, and in the meantime found someone very special. Her and I have separated for our own reasons, and I view that I have lost that person. The fallout from that has been horrendous. Having that person as a part of my life was so fulfilling and satisfying, that I ended up almost desperate to have that person replaced. I'm now at the RESIGNATION of the fact that I have to replan my future, and replan being on my own. So, I am not okay with being alone, but resigned to it, as the grass WAS greener on the other side. Very much so. I suppose with time, my alone time is something that I will cherish again. I had established that independance, and established my boundaries with which I needed to operate within. I also found myself and who I am. I'm comfortable with myself. I can go and do things that I want to do, and not have to worry about the other persons perception of my whilst doing those things. But I would much rather worry about that other persons perceptions. I would much rather love deeply and endlessly.

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