Regretfully didn't give him my number!!!! Now what?? chat & forums.

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kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

Regretfully didn't give him my number!!!! Now what?? Posted: 11/20/2009 12:35:24 AM
I think the card is a great idea. A thank you and if you want to stay in touch here's my number. Uuummm hey Landra...didn't see where she turned him down. Which thread are you reading? He invited her to a post event gathering...implies that there several people or at least a few. She went, thus how she knows where he lives. He was most likely playing host so maybe he simply did get the opportunity to ask.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

Prove Me Wrong, PLEASE Posted: 11/15/2009 2:58:33 PM
On some level this may be true...women being emotional beings and men being physical beings. Now, now, You know that's not gonna fly here. What can you mean by that? Check your generalizations at the door!...Please. Ok,ok...it is a bit of a generalization but seems to be the more the norm in my experience. I believe I have only ever been involved with one man that played on the emotional along with the physical. I'm not saying that men do not have or show emotion just that the ones I have encountered have put the physical before the emotional. Not saying there is anything wrong with that, just another factor I consider when getting to know someone.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Prove Me Wrong, PLEASE Posted: 11/15/2009 12:08:02 PM
"Woman give sex for love, men give love for sex." On some level this may be true...women being emotional beings and men being physical beings. It is a primeval drive for men to impregnate women, it is what enables the survival of the species. It is natural and it is necessary. True for the more youthful or those that have yet to have children. I'm done having kids so he better have another reason. Those of you (male or female) who have a partner or have had one, would you have been able to remain with them if sex were not involved? Nope, not because of the lack of sex though but for the reasons that the sex was lacking...loss of trust, abuse or indifference. Is it who and what the person is that keeps you attached or is it simply that you have good combatibility and find pleasure in each others arms? How important is sex in your relationship as compared to who the person is? Sex is very important but the importance is equal to trust, compassion and compatibilty. I can be compatible with someone on most levels but if the sex is not compatible (frequency, skill) the relationship is not going to last. How many of you are on here mostly to find sex? I hope to find a long term monogamous relationship that will most definitely involve sex. It often times seems that sex is the requirement for a relationship, not respect, love, or appreciation. Prove me wrong, PLEASE. I can't say it's a requirement, IMO with respect, love and appreciation the intimacy will come naturally. I'm sure there are people out there that are here just for a sexual relationship whether it be long term but no strings or with random people. I personally do not find either scenario to be healthy. I would rather find one man to spend the rest of life with sexually and otherwise.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

What's the difference between affectionate and clingy? Posted: 11/11/2009 2:16:36 PM
A restraining order...

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 54 (view)

Let's take a walk in the woods Posted: 11/2/2009 9:07:09 AM
kimberish i think they especially like the cash and credit card part, helps cover their expense related to the serial killer occupation, you know, shovel, duct tape, plastic bags........ oh sorry just having a post halloween sinister, scary moment.... kaylee LMAO...thanks for the laugh Kaylee, I needed it with my morning coffee. Shovels, duct tape and plastic bags can get expensive, wouldn't want them to think I can't cover my half of my own demise...lol. So I guess I should I be worried if on a first meet/date he asks to stop by the local hardware store and inquires to my available credit line or my favorite color of designer duct tape. Back on topic...I think all genders need to be cautious when going on dates from on-line connections. You never know who your going to meet.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Quickie Marriages in Las Vegas, or plain old Marriages in court Posted: 11/2/2009 8:37:58 AM
When my now ex husband and I got married we first had a JoP ceremony in the Judges chambers with our parents and 2 friends as witnesses. Afterwards we had a small (30 ppl) reception at my dad's house. Total cost about $500. We did this because of legalities surrounding our then 3 year old daughter. A year later we had the "big" church ceremony, reception (110 ppl) and honeymoon. It was something we wanted along with our families. This ended up costing about $9000 total, including the honeymoon. I worked in the hospitality industry so I got everything discounted. We paid about 2/3 of it with our parents chipping the rest. If I were ever to do it again, I always say it would be in Vegas, in a pink Cadillac, at the drive through with Elvis officiating...lol. Actually my ideal would be a beach in Key West or on one of the large sail boats (Clippers) they have there. If it happens again I suppose it won't matter where but just the one I'm with will be the important factor. I still work in the industry and weddings are my biggest money maker, I average about $25,000 per event. First time marriages are still going for all the bells and whistles. I am finding that second marriages are going much, much more conservative. I also see a lot of grooms being more involved with the planning if not planning the whole thing.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

Let's take a walk in the woods Posted: 11/1/2009 9:48:55 PM
First meets, heck even the first couple of dates, should be in public places. It all depends oin your comfort level though, I guess. Places I won't go on a first meet or date... The woods or any outdoor secluded area His house My house I will almost always drive my own car and meet them. Always have cash or a card on me to cover my own expenses.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 46 (view)

Successful Coffee Dates? Posted: 11/1/2009 9:32:57 PM
I don't look at it as a date...it's an opportunity to meet someone in a public place to see if there is a connection. If there isn't a connection no big deal, if there is you have a chance to continue and it might become a date or at least a chance to set up a date for future. First meets I usually go dutch. No expectations on who pays, even if it turns into a date I would be prepared to pay my half. Ideally though I like a happy hour meet, seems more relaxed and you are already in a venue that makes it easy to extend the meet into the first date.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Which is worse - Dude! or Gurll! Posted: 11/1/2009 9:22:24 PM
what on earth is "aaight"?? It is slang for "well all right" ... because it's just so long to say ... Also, needs to pronounced a certain way, it was funny for a short time made popular by some unrecallable movie (I think). Just doesn't transfer to e-mail well...lol.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Depew, New York POF party @ THE AUD SPORTS BAR & GRILL SAT. NOV.-14-2009 8PM Posted: 11/1/2009 9:02:50 PM
Looking forward to this one...The Aud is a great bar and any chance to go out and watch the Sabres is a good thing! It is a 7pm start for the game so I plan on going early.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

Can someone explain y so many women on dating sites require events/things to be happy? Posted: 11/1/2009 8:47:04 PM
There is something to be said for the comfort of companionship...sure there are days where I woukld be just as happy to stay home and cuddle with a movie on, bottle of wine and candle light. Then there are things I'm interested in and like to go and do...could be a live band, watching a sporting event, the museum, or a simple walk in the park. Some of these things cost little or no money. On the flip side, if I know there is something he is interested in I would make plans to take him. I also think that the stage of dating you are in will determine how many things or events you attend. In the beginning it's getting to know someone through thier interests, as the relationship progresses I think just spending time together doing nothing in particular or doing mundane things increases. This where compatability comes into play. Be open about your expectations and find the person that compliments you.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Which is worse - Dude! or Gurll! Posted: 11/1/2009 8:31:24 PM
LMAO...found this funny because I know exactly what you mean. Had a guy who would in e-mails call me Guuurrl and would spell out aaight! In all caps mind you. Had to tell him to 1) not call me guurrl as I was not his girl, 2) aaight was not meant to be spelled out and was overused, 3) no caps, it's rude and seems like your yelling. Dude is a term I may use with my friends as a funny thing. I don't mind the typical terms of endearment...hon, honey, dear, love... but those shouldn't really come into play until you get to know one and other. They imply a certain amount of familiarity with the other person.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Disgusted yet Not Flattered Posted: 10/29/2009 5:41:55 PM
Don't worry, the novelty will fade. At the moment you are like the shiny new toy. Just remember men will be pigs...some not all. Just consider it a weeding out tool, block and delete! Your pics are conservative or at least not flaunting anything. By the way...beautiful tattoo.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

Christmas. Posted: 10/29/2009 4:05:25 PM
I have always hosted the major holidays at my house. My ex is always welcome here. He has a small family, only his brother and his wife are close by so they get invited too. Just the way it is and we have always handled it that way. Even when I had a boyfiend, he slept over and in the morning my ex came over and we all open gifts together. I did give both a heads up and made sure they would each be comfortable with the situation. It's a part of being mature enough to realize the marriage is over but the parenting continues. Unless she has been hinting at wanting to get back together, it seems like it is just for the kids. You should make it clear to her that if you do spend Christmas together it is for the kids.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

you cant beat a fantasy can you Posted: 10/27/2009 7:26:04 PM
Why do people settle for people who are not in love with them???? Time to move on and let her have her fantasy. It's one thing if she fantasizes about a celebrity she will most likely never have a chance to meet. She is thinking about and admits being "in love with" some guy from the pub, within easy reach. How can she be "in love with" some guy when it sounds as if she has never even talked to him and only exchanged a smile or two. Guess what? In her mind you have already been replaced. EDIT: Ok, scratching head now...you are 50 and putting up with this BS. From reading the OP I thought a 20 something (early 20 something) wrote it.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc Posted: 10/27/2009 4:42:43 PM
This extremely immature behavior to say the least. Dump her and run...one of the few I times I would suggest texting, from another galaxy if possible.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

How to build chemistry with the nice guy after always going for the bad boy? Posted: 10/25/2009 12:56:12 PM
So he is kind of cute...go with that! He treats you well, is what matters here. I do understand the need to be attracted to him, but kind of cute compared to abusive in any way is so much better. Remember looks will fade (yours too) but abusive people tend to stay abusive.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Does exclusivity applies in FWB relationship? Posted: 10/25/2009 11:34:34 AM
I think you will find that preferences vary in this situation. I had only a couple of FWB relationships. Many years ago I didn't care if they were sleeping with others as long as we had protected sex. My more recent one (ended 2 + Years ago) and last one was a bit different. I didn't care if he dated but I didn't want to continue the intimate part of the relationship once I knew he was sleeping with others casually. He is still a friend, just no benefits other than a true friend. Imagine this...You have 2 FWB, say they also have 2 FWB each. That's a total of 4 people you are actually having sex with, figuratively anyway, each of them and their other partner besides you. Condoms don't always protect you.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Ex Posted: 10/24/2009 5:55:52 PM
I'll answer from some experience.... In the long run, no it probably won't work with his ex. If he thinks that living in a home where the two adults have no love for each other for the sake of his daughters is a good thing, he is actually doing more harm than good. IMO he is living a lie and kids are perceptive. As much as they think they want mommy and daddy together in the end everyone will be effected. Of course they are more settled now but it's a short term effect. I say this because my ex and I had split after seven years or so of marriage, we ended up living 1300 miles apart. A year after I was able to move back to our home town, where he was, We thought giving it another try would be a good thing. Looking back we were lonely and comfortable with each other. It lasted five years, the first two were great, then it all went back downhill. At the time our oldest daughter actually didn't want us to get back together. We look back now and realize it was a mistake. We no longer have feelings for each other but do get along as parents should for the sake of kids. They are now truely settled. We remain separated for insurance reasons but in all other aspects we lead our own lives. My advice to you...let him go. If it is meant to be only time will tell. I just wouldn't want to see you waiting for him. Move on and live your life.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 69 (view)

Relationship with a metrosexual! Posted: 10/22/2009 9:36:44 PM
The last metro I dated wore Aqua d Gio, was an avid hockey player, had a great personality. The only non masculin thing with him was not being very mechanically inclined. You are right, it is subjective, to each thier own. I personally don't like overly muscular men, however that doen't mean that I won't think outside the box and get to know them as a person. Simply because you never know. Division...Im not going to quote your profile but if you were to read it to yourself you would see that you are a contridiction. You say one thing there but are not open minded at all. I mean no ill will towards you...just sayin'

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 68 (view)

Relationship with a metrosexual! Posted: 10/22/2009 9:14:58 PM
Metros are not androgynous....they are just men who know how to take care of themselves and their surroundings. They don't act like sissys. They also don't act like homophobes. What's wrong with a guy who prefers to dress nice, stay well groomed and not act like a neandrethal in public? I can only speak of the ones I've known or dated but they were far from feminine, yet I would call them metro because of their personal style or tastes.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Kissing cheating? Posted: 10/22/2009 9:09:36 PM
Kissing a long time friend on the cheek, no. Kissing with hickies, yes and juvenile.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 69 (view)

Mouth Shut or Tattle? Posted: 10/21/2009 8:57:01 PM
No tattling...do not say anything to April. I see this creating a huge wedge between you and your business associate if you do. I would however, express your opinion to your business associate. It's a moral issue and he is being an azz considering sleeping with both of them. He is simply looking for the next best thing. Seemes to be the way things are in today's dating world. If April is smart, she will catch on anyway, that's how we work.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 33 (view)

My gut Posted: 10/21/2009 8:48:00 PM
I'm going to play devil's advocate here...but I am by no means condoning lying if that is the case. Honestly, need more info to offer a legitimate opinion, but here goes... Did you ask her what was going on? Did you "catch her" with in the time she should have been at her gf's house or was it a few hours after? Has she ever given you a reason to not trust her before this? You love her with all your heart...if so you would out of the kindness of your heart ask her to explain her actions. Many times people jump to conslusions, not based on the actions of a current partner but based on actions of someone in their past. Me being the analytical type means innocent until proven guilty. If my gut tells me that they are lying, I will ask or find proof one way or the other. Not lying, no harm, get caught lying...bye, bye!

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Discussions about past relationships Posted: 10/21/2009 6:39:54 PM
^^^So true Landra, so true! I do or don't get into long winded discussions about past. If the other person feels like sharing fine, if not fine. I do try to keep it short and to the point if it does come up. FYI...sidewinder and singleagain...not all posts require a question. Some times it's just a subject open for commentary.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 54 (view)

Relationship with a metrosexual! Posted: 10/21/2009 6:31:08 PM
Metrosexual men are a step away from being homosexual. Not so much...but if this statement has any truth in it...It's a really big step. I base this on the metrosexual men I have know or dated. Trust me, they burp and fart just like manly men and do't get all flustered by it...lol. Why would you be attracted to a androgynous version of yourself? What would the difference be if a guy likes a tomboy...isin't that the same thing in reverse? More guys should get in touch with their femine side, as women should have a better understanding of men. Unfortunately this probably won't happen until hell freezes over.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 48 (view)

Relationship with a metrosexual! Posted: 10/19/2009 8:38:22 PM
Too funny...my last LTR and probably one of the best over all was with a guy who was metrosexual. I liked that he took care of himself as far as appearance goes. I never had to worry how he would be dressed when we went out, he also had the best hair and shower products. Definitly no more than I had but his was the really good stuff. His home was well decorated and almost always clean yet comfortable and welcoming. Oh, and he was extremely attentive in the bedroom. He had a manly man side too...plays and refs hockey, plays tennis, golf, etc... When we would just hang out at his place his favorite thing to wear was an old tee-shirt and sweats. If we were shopping it was great, he paid attention and remembered things for special occasions. The only time I found it amusing was when we had to replace his car battery...turns out I'm a bit more mechanically inclined.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

My ex-husband cheated = The sex was bad Posted: 10/18/2009 10:39:06 AM
Not going to gut you like a trout...lol. I personally don't think the theory is true, at leat from the point that it takes two. Maybe he sucked in the bedroom and she became disinterested. Therefore...bad sex. I have had partners that brought the best in me and ones that were total duds when it comes to sex. It's really about the two people getting it on vs. whatever happened in the past relationship.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 62 (view)

10/04/09 Buffalo/Tonawanda Football Party 4:00pm Posted: 10/4/2009 7:52:36 AM
I'm going with Buffalo 21.....Miami....10

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

The selling of one's self Posted: 9/28/2009 8:43:56 PM
It seems to me that many women on here try to "sell themselves" or convince others of how independent they are, how creative they are and that they are self sufficient and don't seem to really need or want anyone to change any of that. And men don't???? I have come to the realization that most PEOPLE are set in thier ways at this stage of life. I'm not out to change anyone or to be changed either but compromise has to come into play at some point on some things. To me they should marry.......well............THEMSELVES! How boring would that be...too much in common would potentially get dull. Many ssem like they are either asking questions like it's am job interview. ONE I sent my resume too. Seriously? You sent your resume...bad approach on thier part. I'll give you that! And many women OVER 40 seem to have the catch phrases," I want a drama- free relationship AND someone with no baggage! I can only laugh! Drama free would be nice, I don't have any why would I want you to? For me drama applies to the nagging ex, calls to the police on a regular basis stuff like that. As for baggage, please reduce it to a carry on and all is good! Couple of other points... Agree with Phredly that those of us who have been married before have a better perspective. We are more aware of what we have to offer and what expectations we have. Also agree with Juli...an updated picture will go a long way towards women taking you seriously. Hey Mike where is my power card...it wasn't at the bottom of my Cracker Jack box...lol

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

The ex still has a key and sits in the house Posted: 9/28/2009 3:34:08 PM
Kind of a catch 22...I have no problem with him having a key for the daughters sake. I do have an issue with the fact that he has nothing at his house for the daughter and that he would watch someone else’s kids at his exes house when he lives in the area. My ex has always had a key, he has never abused it, I think he has only had to use it once over the last couple of years when our youngest forgot hers and once when I was out of town to feed the cats. He always asks before stopping by and he always knocks. I am not reading that this is a trust issue for you but more a invasion of space, which I do agree especially if he were looking through your stuff. I would talk with your girlfriend and let her know how you feel. Make it clear that he can have the key for emergency but that the daughter needs things or her own at his place or to have her stuff ready and packed by the door and that he needs to watch the other kids at his home (if the other parents are ok with this). It doesn't need to be confrontational, good luck to you!

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

Is it a good idea for a couple to tell each other how much money they make? Posted: 9/28/2009 7:15:58 AM
I could care less how much someone makes, as long as they are self sufficient. If you're waiting for the Repo man or the utilities are getting shut off, that's a problem. You are living beyond your means and are financially irresponsible. No it should not be a topic of discussion in a dating relationship. If you get to the point that you are planning on moving in together then the discussion should be about who will pay what house hold expenses and it should be 50/50 (or as close to it as possible). Even at that point there is no reason to discuss specifics. There will be shared expenses and each will most likely have their own personal expenses. Until you get married and have to deal with taxes, it no ones business.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Late Great Football Party Pix Posted: 9/23/2009 7:58:47 PM
Not sure what Mr. Negativity is talking about, the pics are fine. Had a great time. Hope to make it to the next one.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

When You Move In With A Debater Posted: 9/14/2009 12:09:57 PM
I think we have all met people like this...simply because everyone has thier own way of doing things. My kids laugh because I have a way I like the dishwasher loaded and then I have a way I like things put away. They rarely if ever do it the way I like and I inevitably fix it when they are done. Now it's just a funny habit. Some of the things you mention that he questioned are petty...the pots in the sink, the salt and pepper. Who cares as long as the pots get washed (I would do them after just so I can eat a hot dinner) and for the salt and pepper what's the difference? I can see him asking about the curtains if you live together, as it is his home too. I have to agree on the dusting, because why dust after vacuuming? The dust would just settle on the floor you just vacuumed...at least that is what mom told me...lol. I think it just boils down to what I always call defining moments...those you can tolerate or compromise on and those that you just can't let go.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

09/14/09 Buffalo/Tonawanda Monday Nite Football Bash Posted: 9/12/2009 9:19:41 AM
^^^Talk about wishful thinking

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

09/14/09 Buffalo/Tonawanda Monday Nite Football Bash Posted: 9/11/2009 5:18:43 PM
OK...I'll play along...even gonna give the Bills the benefit of the doubt. They ought to be due by now.... Bills 22 Pats 21 Another heart attack game that will come down to a safety. The Bills make me wanna ...can you tell it's been a long week!

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Can you ask??? Posted: 9/8/2009 8:40:31 PM
Way to hijack Miss C.... Sigh, yet another one with a profile that would lead one to believe she's single when in fact she is NOT. OP, what does it matter? You honestly don't give a shit about the guy anyway. Good luck on getting lots of emails. To boot it says separated LOL! Geezus. Before I get back on topic, I feel the need to point out that saying she doesn't give a shit about the guy was a bit mean. How the heck would you know? She has Separated, not single and looking for friends. If the site offered both as a gender option and forums only as a looking for option we could have half as many digs on people who are only separated. Take the argument to one of 2000+ separated threads and simply answer the question. OT...You could say it first, as it is how you feel. However, consider how you communicate other things to him. Does he prefer you be direct or more subtle? If direct, go ahead and say it if subtle is more his style then leave it alone knowing that he does by his actions.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

09/14/09 Buffalo/Tonawanda Monday Nite Football Bash Posted: 9/7/2009 1:20:46 PM
^^^ This email was sent because you are within 10k of the event or are signed up to it. If you do not want emails like this disable party emails in your mail settings. probably because you are close to the US...happens all the time.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

Interpretation please Posted: 9/6/2009 9:26:43 PM
Memories are a funny thing...I can guarantee that I would not want to go back to the same hotel I honeymooned in but going to Tampa itself would not bother me. Going to someplace that I simply enjoyed hanging out at wouldn't bother me either. Yes, I might recall being there with someone specific but it would not stop me from going there. Hell, I can hear a specific song from a relationship I had when I was 18 and it will trigger memories (Van Halen...Love Come Walking In/5150) but I look back fondly, enjoy the moment and move on. If someonoe is having serious reservations about going somewhere that involved an ex, there could be a deeper issue.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Old Pictures Posted: 9/4/2009 9:01:33 PM
I think it fine if some one keeps pictures as long as they aren't displayed on the walls, who cares. I have pictures thet go all the way back to high school, I rarely take them out but sometimes they are good for a laugh.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

Rules Posted: 9/3/2009 8:32:46 PM
I would think that to say that there are rules in dating, we would all have to follow the same rules. Pretty sure we don't. Besides rules tend to sound controling, kind of like an employee handbook or a dating handbook in this case, which doesn't exist. I don't have rules but do have preferences, some which I am determined to keep and others that I can compromise on or let go all together. The idea is to find someone who has the same preferences.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

First date/meet. Need help please! Posted: 8/29/2009 12:01:34 PM
Best advice I can offer is that if you are interested and she is (or seems to be) as well, set up a first date, be fore the initial meet ends.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

What is shallow? Posted: 8/28/2009 10:05:18 PM
I agree with the following... Shallow is when you are choosing someone because of what other people think versus what you think. However, if you find yourself attracted to someone and they are overweight, but you refuse to date them because you are concerned with what other people will think about you, then that is shallow. If I am dating someone I do hope that they will be accepted by my friends but in the end it is my/our happiness that is most important. If my friends didn't accept someone I chose to be with because of how they look...I may end up loosing a friend. It doesn't matter how good the intellectual realtionship is if there is no physical attraction. As humans we are visual creatures, what we see get us excited (not neccessarily meant in a sexual way). There has to be a balance between the two. I have no set physical idea of my "perfect" mate. There are aspects that I may be more attracted to than others. I am no more attracted to a very skinny man than I am to an excessively overwieght man. Both are extremes that I am not attracted to.

kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Building a new relationship while keeping a friendship with an ex? Posted: 8/28/2009 9:28:08 PM
Truthfully, I love him too much to see him walk away from the life he has built and to give up so much. This is such a tough call.... On some level relationships are about sacrafice, if you are truely meant to be together one of you will eventually have to rebuild some aspects of your lives. I wonder though if it is worth sacraficing your own happiness (and he his)to not be together. Do you each have careers that couldn't be transfered or start fresh? I understand about the kids but they may be open to a move depending on ages of course. I do wish you the best of luck...and yes you can date and have friends of the opposite sex.

Kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

I Wonder....If we put too much emphasis on sex in a relationship. Posted: 8/24/2009 5:17:25 PM
At the moment, being single...sex isn't even on my radar. However, when in a relationship, I find sex to be very important. Not neccesarily the most important aspect but that could depend on many factors on any given day. It could easily be a #1 priority today, but life being what it is, it could be #10 priority tomorrow. If you're in a stable healthy relationship each partner should be accepting of this. Hypothetically speaking - if you all were in a long term (married even) relationship that was your dream relationship, and then by some freak accident your SO couldn't ever have sex again - would you leave? If this were the perfect relationship or as near as you can get to perfect, NO I would not leave. At that point sex would become a non-priority and my SO would be my #1 priority.

Kimberish

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

whats wrong with her or is it me....? Posted: 8/24/2009 4:58:51 PM
Damn...I hate it when the inside voice comes out. Can't blame you for being a bit creeped out, there is no appropriate time during the first date to utter those particular words. Hell, theres probably no appropriate time during at least the first 6 months...lol. It's one thing to talk about marriage as a concept or each others beliefs early on but even then I'd keep it in the 3rd person. As far as how to handle it...no right answer there. I think all emotions could apply and it just depends on the two who are conversing.

KimberRocks!

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Fustrated with online dating Posted: 8/13/2009 8:26:22 PM
Sure there is less fear of rejection but there is also "the grass is greener" syndrome. On-line dating is like window shopping on steriods. I have zero expectations from any dating site, I do like PoF better than most as it is free and the forums are great! I too am beginning to think that meeting someone in real life is the better way to go even of it takes longer. At least then you know who you are meeting. No BS about not liking someone because of their looks or status or whatever other reasons.

kimber92567

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 132 (view)

Women with multiple cats - sign of mental illness? Posted: 8/4/2009 9:33:34 PM
Look...don't date cat people. If you think I'm certifiable because I have 3 cats in my house so be it. I also have 2 kids so its 1 cat per person. I guess that evens it out. First: My cats are indoor cats, they do not bring me anything. I do however get an occasional hairball, now that's disgusting! I will repeat...ferel cats are the primary source of toxoplasmosis. The common house cat is not as likely to get it or share it. Second: I would never toilet train them, 3 women trying to get bathroom time is hard enough. Third: The cat box gets cleaned daily, multiple times. Fourth: How would you know if I care for them well? They are all healthy, shots updated, fed twice daily, fresh water daily and loved unconditionally. Fifth: Already answered about cat box cleaning habits Sixth: All cats spend hours cleaning them selves. They do not like other scents on their fur,so they clean/groom every time you pet them, they go in the litter box, roll over, etc... Cats groom themselves for many reasons, it does not always have to do with being filthy. They groom for heat regulation, waterproofing, icrease scent (theirs to get rid of yours, they like balance). Simply put most cats are meticulous about being clean. They also groom as a stress release. What the heck does a cat have to be stressed about though???? LMAO...have you ever tried to bathe a cat...my daughter found out the hard way that cats can fly with claws fully extended when water is applied. Most cats hate water so bathing them is not happening. That's my rant for today.

kimber92567

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 125 (view)

Women with multiple cats - sign of mental illness? Posted: 8/4/2009 6:58:31 PM
I have always owned cats, currently have 3 and they are considered family. Cats are cute, but their feet are nasty dirty...look up taxoplasmosis. Yes...please look up toxoplasmosis. From petplace.com Toxoplasmosis can occur in both cats and dogs. This disease is zoonotic, which means it is transmissible to humans, and pregnant women especially must be careful. Animals that are fed raw or incompletely cooked meat are at higher risk of developing toxoplasmosis, as well as animals that are immunosuppressed. Ferel cats are far more likely to get Toxoplasmosis than your typical in door cat. Dogs go outside, just what do you think they are walking through? How often do dogs clean themselves? Cats are far cleaner than dogs (I love dogs too, just not home enough to have one). My cats spend roughly 3 hours a day cleaning themselves for no apparent reason. They are particular about the cat box and it must be kept clean or I will have an all out revolt on my hands. As much as I hate it and have diligently tried to train them to stay off of counters, they feel the need to lounge there when I'm not looking. I simply keep a pack of disinfectant wipes and wipe down the counter often. My counters are probably cleaner than most non-pet owners.

kimber92567

Joined: 6/22/2008

Msg: 52 (view)

Telling little lies Posted: 8/2/2009 11:13:04 PM
Actually if I've ASKED a question then I do want the honest answer, no matter how "abrasive" or "tactless" it is. That is the reason for asking....no? Yes, If YOU have asked. Your friends, family, etc...will know you and expect that you want honesty. There are others that ask but really only want to hear what they want to hear, sometimes you need to know the difference.

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