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 Author Thread: Creepy or cute?!
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Creepy or cute?!
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:35:03 AM
yeah but she grabbed my phone and put her number in it.. i didn't really ask :O
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Creepy or cute?!
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:27:29 AM
Maybe i'm not being clear enough for the first 10 posts here... but it is a known fact they are not in a relationship. All this talk about stealing girlfriends, moving to better deals, they all center around relationships. She's SINGLE people. I'm looking for advice on going forward with a single girl. who is single. who is not dating anybody. who is not in a relationship.
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Creepy or cute?!
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:24:07 AM
And silentsteel's post makes the assumption I'm a "meddling tool", when really I'm just a good guy with a little crush. It happens to us. No I wouldn't want a girl who is easily convinced to always take what appears to be a better deal obviously. But I'm not the kind of guy to have sex with a girl and not be committed to her. I'm not knocking girls who do that, that's totally up to them. It always seems to me that if a girl is "seeing" a guy who is not committed to her, and they are -not together- then she is single and fair game? If this guy didn't want men to move in on her, maybe he would commit to her so she could tell them she has a man?
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Creepy or cute?!
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:08:20 AM
There is no way I'd send roses. lol. This is not a "roses" type of idea. More just like a colorful collection :P
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Creepy or cute?!
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:05:13 AM
Hey this is ask a girl. What's with all the hostility?

What do you mean fly the coup? You could tell she -wants- a commitment or else she wouldn't explain it in a way to make it look like her situation sucks. Right?
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Creepy or cute?!
Posted: 7/10/2009 7:59:05 AM
what is all this break up stuff? lol they are not together. they just sleep together. its obviously a window into the relationship they have. I know this because she told me in one of those... "ehhhhh...... my situation sucks" kind of ways. but it is my general understanding you have to have the label to break up, right?
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Creepy or cute?!
Posted: 7/10/2009 7:57:18 AM
oh, to clarify, ive met her twice. just never hung out with her in a non-professional atmosphere. (I met her at her work she cut my hair)
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Creepy or cute?!
Posted: 7/10/2009 7:46:41 AM
I believe I stated specifically that they're not committed

isn't that fair grounds for us guys to move in?
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Creepy or cute?!
Posted: 7/10/2009 7:26:23 AM
Okay so there's this girl (it always starts that way haha)

I don't want to delve too much in to her personal drama, but I will sum it up. She's seeing a guy who is a dead end. He's leaving for the army and will not commit. Makes sense. I'm pretty sure she's still sleeping with him. She is gorgeous and sweet and I think about her a lot. Already it's a big red flag, right?

She gave me her phone number and we've joked around, but it's obvious she knows where they're headed and believes she deserves better. A lot of girls usually find themselves right in the middle of these messes. I've backed off dramatically from when she first gave me her number. But last night I may have made the mistake of telling her. I said What are you doin with this guy, dont you want somethin better for yourself? You seem so sweet you deserve better than that. (See it always bothers me if a girl is sleeping with a guy who will not commit to her.. just get the feeling they are taking advantage)

She responded "I still feel the same but oh well idk"
- Girls know! Right?

Would it be creepy or cute to send this girl flowers at work (She works at a salon so it would be like a big deal to all the other gossipers there) and ask her out in a note? Not even ask her out, it could just say like hang in there or something... Ive talked with her about 4-5 times, but have never been out with her. I just don't know if that is creepy or cute. Seekin' advice :)

Thanks
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Search Suggestion
Posted: 7/3/2009 12:56:17 PM
I would like it if we were able to block profiles from showing up for future searches.

Getting the same results every time you search and sifting through pages upon pages to find profiles is a tad annoying. If you -know- you are not interested in a woman, I should not have to see her every time I come to the website! :P

CUPID as well as MATCH and a few other websites offer this and it is very convenient for finding new people to get in touch with.
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
It all starts with yourself. (Christian)
Posted: 6/29/2009 11:18:59 AM
Fear and pain knocked at the door. Faith answered, nobody was there..
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
It all starts with yourself. (Christian)
Posted: 6/26/2009 1:32:54 PM
you're welcome
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
It all starts with yourself. (Christian)
Posted: 6/26/2009 9:36:54 AM
This will be extremely long, but I want to talk about struggle and deliverance.

I want to talk about pain and distress. How to deal with distress.

How to deal with distress.

I look around today and see and hear so many hurtful stories. You're stressed financially, you may be stressed emotionally, domestically, when it comes to your important situation. Stressed. And when you look inward you will feel out of place, not where you're supposed to be. It is interesting because sometimes, God will place a calling on your life, and then he will put you through seasons of character formation. It is not very often that God will let you walk immediately in to what he has called you to possess. Seasons of formations, seasons of maturation, so that you can have the character to match your calling.

The enemy knows you are on your way to somewhere, and they are scared of what resides IN you. What God has placed IN you and has been asleep. So one of the things the enemy tries to do during your journey of your character formation, on the way to the manifestation of your calling, what the enemy tries to do is to DISTRACT you from your destiny. He wants to distract you so you don't reach your full potential. The potential that God has already placed inside of you. One of the things the enemy does is cause you to *BREAK -- YOUR -- FOCUS*. Stick with me for just one minute.

See, failure is NOTHING but BROKEN FOCUS.

Your adversary, your adversary; that word adversary; the root word is avert. See, the enemy does not have to stop you from goin' where you're goin, all he has to do is avert you. Distract you, give you a detour. And failure is nothing more than allowing your focus, which should be fixed on your future to be broken and distracted by somebody who does not want you to walk in your destiny.

So the question that begs for an answer is... what causes us to break or lose our focus?

You all remember the story of Jesus and Peter walking on the water don't you? As long as Peter kept his eyes on Jesus, as long as he kept his focus fixed. Instead of being distracted by the winds being boisterous, and the waves bein tossed, when peter is walking on that water. You will see 2 things that people do that cause them to break their focus. They begin to -think-, then they begin to -feel-. Let me see if I can help you. He began to THINK and he began to FEEL. He lost his focus because he was more focused on the STORM and what he FELT about the storm, and what he THOUGHT about the storm, than he was on Jesus who is the storm calmer. He made the mistake of becoming more moved by what he was thinking and what he was feeling than who he was trusting in.

And when you become more MOVED by what you think and what you feel, as opposed to trusting in yourself, you will lose your focus and you will start to think and feel that everything in your life is about to fall apart. Because when you start to move based on what you think and what you feel it wont be too long until you start to sink.

So what the enemy tries to do is he tries to make you THINK too much about your situation, he tries to make you FEEL too much about your situation, he tries to make you feel *STRONGLY* about something OTHER than Jesus Christ. Too many of us try to operate our lives based on our emotions, and we dictate and move on how we feel about our situation. We determine our next moves based on how we feel about our situations. If you're not careful you will THINK your way in to depression, and you can think yourself into feeling you are not on your way to where God is trying to take you.You see, Sometimes distractions are not the things that get in our way.. Sometimes WE are our own distractions! Because we spend too much time, thinkin about a thing, worryin about a thing, and then when we do that thing we become stagnant! we're not movin, all we're doin is thinkin, feelin, and worryin.

That's why it's critical to keep your focus on Jesus. and Not on your problem, not what you think about your problem, not on how you feel about your problem, see thoughts and feelings will distract you in the BLINK of an eye. The enemy has a way of makin you think the OPPOSITE of what you SHOULD be doin. The enemy knows what God is tryin to do in your life so when God starts movin you somewhere, sometimes God will put you in situations where the fact of the situation suggests you can't move forward. So the enemy tries to distract you through what you think and what you feel. The enemy will never ever give up trying to make you trust your thoughts and feelings. That's why their first line of attack is not against your finances, it's not against your family, it is against your faith.

Distressed because of some of the most powerful emotions one can ever have inside of them. In spite of how we feel, in spite of what we thinks, in spite of what we want, you can always encourage ourselves in the lord. God help me. Sometimes, you gotta LEARN how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you gotta LEARN how to pat yourself on the back. Sometimes you gotta take care of your OWN business. Because sometimes you can't find a good TV show, you can't find a good book to read, you can't find a girlfriend or boyfriend, sometimes you gotta learn how to do it -for your self-! Is there anybody in here who can say they have learned that I can do it for myself? Every every every now and then, when I'm at the moment of crisis, my future is too important to let me go by what I feel! So I gotta get in my closet, by myself, cut off my cell phone, cut off my lights, cut of the TV and get on my knees and I have to encourage myself in the lord. How many of you all know you gotta learn how to lift yourself up. How many of you all know you gotta learn how to encourage yourself.

I dare you to tell your friends this is the last time Im gonna talk to you about my problem today, from this point on I gotta get myself together, I gotta handle my business. Say Self, everything gonna be alright, self, your marriage is gonna be allright, self, your money is gonna be allright. Say baby! you might have to cry, but its gonna be allright! baby! you might have some rough days but its going to be allright! People spend their whole lives takin care of other folk.

So now God puts you in a position, where you dont have anybody lookin out for you. Because you gotta take care of yourself. And you dont need a man, you don't need a woman, you gotta take care of yourself. Because if you dont take care of yourself, you wont be good to nobody. You cant help SOMEBODY else until you first of all help your SELF. If You dont learn how to care of yourself what good are you gonna be to your children? What good are you gonna be to your wife? What good are you gonna be to your husband? What good are you gonna be on your job? Every now and then you gotta have enough good sense to say Dont call me for a few hours, because Im gonna get flat on my face and Im gonna get in the presence of the lord. Because im one step away from losin my mind. See, you gotta have a "do you moment", Some of you laugh, YES!! do you. You gotta LEARN how to do you. You gotta learn how to pray for you, you gotta learn how to sing for you, you gotta learn how to study for you, you gotta reach a point where you're no longer dependin on other folk cuz you gotta learn how to DO - IT - FOR YOUR - SELF!!!

We got people who are so dependent on other people, we become addicted to other people and we drive ourselves crazy when we cant find them. Some of us in here the only reason you start to think and feel youre about to lose your mind is because you become so used to lettin somebody else to tell you what to think and do and when you cant find them you go crazy. God will orchestrate a moment in your life where you cant find a person or the thing that is the focus of your addiction, and he will -make you go cold turkey- so you can learn how to *praise me for yourself*. Say it, I'm losin my addiction to other people Im losin my addiction to other things, I dont need somebody to always be there, I dont need somebody to always hold my hand, sometimes I gotta hold my own hand, sometimes I gotta talk to my-self. Self, you look good today. Self, god sure put you together well, Self, what you gonna do today? I think im gonna work out today, I think im gonna take self to a movie, self, im gonna get some popcorn and a diet coke and when I get home I will say self? did we have a good time today? Sometimes you gotta be GOOD to your SELF.

I know I know this may make some of you uncomfortable because you're addicted to other people, addicted to needin other things, addicted to always needin someone to tell you how to live. And you dont know how to live without that addiction. See, you need their supply to keep you high.. You n eed their supply to keep you encouraged. Sometimes...... You gotta get high off your own supply! Sometimes you gotta learn how to talk to your-self. How to council yourself, how to speak over yourself.

Aint nobody lift you up like the lord. Cant nobody pick you up like the lord. Cant nobody restore ya like the lord. Cant nobody dry your tears like the lord, cant nobody give you joy like the lord, cant nobody lift up your head like the lord, cant nobody make a way out of no way like the lord. Everybodies out to get you, you're distressed. But you can shift your emotions.

it's easy to be a prayer warrior in peaceful times. but it's in the furnace of affliction that shows a person what he or she is truly made of. For the scriptures state that if you feint in the day of adversity then your strength is weak. There can be no breakthroughs without battle, there can be no triumphs without tribulations. Your problems are your tickets to another level. You will get the character to match your calling, you will move to where God is trying to take you, you will be rewarded for all the hurt and pain you have ever felt because there is sunshine after -every- single storm.
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Letting go and going on
Posted: 4/14/2009 8:03:32 AM
who were you before you met him?

everybody seems to forget, right?

learn to fall in love with yourself again
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
how do you forget 20yrs
Posted: 4/14/2009 7:49:10 AM
you don't forget it.

you take with you all that was valuable and allow it to make you a better person.

and i am a huge christian. faith and hope and understanding are a huge part of that. but it's taught me that our struggles are our tickets to new levels of life, and the truth is, if you can look up, you can get up. you need to change your mind frame and keep it on whatevers positive and live life taking note and being thankful for everything you have.

nobody can forget 20 years... but be appreciative of where it's gotten you right now and look down the road optimistically not because you know what tomorrow holds, but because you know who holds tomorrow.

think about it
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
nice guys finish last....
Posted: 4/14/2009 7:31:39 AM
look at the quote

nice guys finish last.

what's the 3rd word?

it's not about how many times you get knocked down. it's about -how- you finish.

finish strong.
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Do men like independant women?
Posted: 1/1/2009 1:45:06 PM
i think independent woman are sexy.
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 4:07:52 PM
The word alone is subjective.

That means different things to different people...

There's solitary confinement alone and then there's "I don't need anybody!" alone. If you got locked up in a room with no contact with anybody, or anything, the whole "I don't need anybody!" definition evaporates pretty freakin quickly.

I'm sticking to my original post. Anybody going through life with that kind of "I don't need anybody" mentality about companionship, friendship, contact, or anything to do with other people what so ever, the problem is with them.
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:33:55 PM
also don't confuse what I say with "coupledom" or "marriage", it's completely fine to be single and not want a commitment. I'm saying those who have no will to find someone to share life and the joys of love or attachment, even found in flings have a problem, and I don't feel that that statement is ignorant.

Some people have deep reasons why they would want to declare their own independence and detachment from ever looking for somebody else and those people have some real issues they need to work out.
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:26:53 PM
hotglass I see what you're saying. I didn't take the question that way. It really is a loaded question.

I would hope each of us has the -ability- to live life be alone, so in terms of taking the question that way my answer would be yes. I don't consider a mate or the will to find a mate a necessity to my survival. My sanity would probably take a hit after an extended period of time though.

I took the question as, "would you be okay with being alone for the rest of your life" and I feel that anybody who can answer that question with a yes has some serious issues with themselves that need to be looked at. Nobody should want to, or live life without atleast the will to find somebody else.

Hope that clears up any confusion!
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:08:59 PM
I was referring to the idea that alone means with nobody else, not in a married vs single discussion.

You can be single and not be alone. I'm saying if the will to find somebody is not there, and you're fine and content with never finding someone ever again, the problem is with you. Hate to break it to you.
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Could you be alone?
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:54:24 PM
Who would want to be alone other than someone obviously deeply hurt?

If your answer to this question is yes, the problem is you.

Unless of course it was just a declaration and display of independence "You go girl!" girlpower sharade.

No, I couldn't be alone, and I don't want to be alone. Life is too short to soak it all up by yourself and you miss out on everything love has to offer. The people who want to be alone are just bitter and havn't had felt enough of the good being with someone you love can really offer.
 mcapuano27
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Is Being Friends Better Than Nothing At All?
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:42:27 PM
I can relate to what you're going through. But to answer your original post question; No, this friendship is completely toxic.

What ever happened to equality or belief in yourself? If he's getting what he wants out of the relationship, and you aren't, it's not equal. And let's call horseshit what it is, you're not content with being "just friends" or else you wouldn't have come posting here to seek approval from a group of anonymous people looking for dates. I hate when people lie to cover up what they truly want. Whatever happened to -desire- and chasing your dreams down with all you've got? You're just going to give up and settle for a jealous, unfair friendship? How weak is that? I'm not saying drop everything and go stalk-mode, but it sure seems like you're ready to completely give up.

Sure, this person is close to you, and you took a chance that paid off for 7 months... but this just goes to show you the type of person you are. You're all closed up and afraid to live the experiences in life that open you and allow you to truly live. This guy didn't allow you to be more trusting, you allowed yourself to be with him. Who's to say you can't do it again and feel all the wonderful feelings you just felt with somebody else? Why not? Why is that so hard to imagine?

And despite what you think "Nothing at all" is better for yourself than an unfair friendship, honey. Plenty of fish, etc.
 
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