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 Author Thread: Apparently those Nigerian scammers are using Yahoo messenger now...
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 198 (view)
 
Apparently those Nigerian scammers are using Yahoo messenger now...
Posted: 4/21/2009 2:30:50 PM
I have gotten a lot of these type messages on MySpace, Yahoo Messenger, and other social sites. My first experience was with MySpace. His picture showed a blond hair, blue eyed white male who said he worked for a charity organization in Sunnyvale, CA but was overseas in South Africa building a shelter for homeless orphans. I, being naive at the time, bought into his scam for a couple of weeks until he asked for money. I told him I was the wrong person for money and could he give me a loan. Funny thing, I never heard from him again. One from another dating site said he was born in Brazil and raised in Brazil and England. He now lived in New Orleans. We talked a little but never got to the money part. He had a lot of difficulty with the English language. But to tell you the truth, a lot of men I've talked to and actually met have trouble with the written English language. When I asked him a simple question in English, he did not understand it. So I translated it into Portugeze, the official language of Brazil. When he told me he did not speak Portugugeze, I knew I had a scammer on line and told him so. I just got an IM on Yahoo, who just popped up trying to sell me something. I told him no way, no how and to never contact me again. Then I blocked him. Its gotten so ridiclous , out of 12 emails I received in one day on Yahoo, 10 were from different people that I have either won or inherited from someone 100,000 dollars. Like I have a distant relative in China or Nigeria. I use to go the extra mile and notify Yahoo Help about these emails, but nothing changed. Now I just mark them as Spam and go on. I am so tired of these people. But what I worry about is older people being sucked into these scams.
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 898 (view)
 
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/11/2008 10:05:47 PM
Same reason men dump women who are nice to them. Because there is no chemistry, because they found someone else or because they live for the chase, are users, and/or jerks. What exists in one gender exists in the other.
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 2224 (view)
 
Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 9/10/2008 1:39:39 AM
[/I will say this (not referring to the above referenced quote).....part of the problem with internet dating (for BOTH genders) is that when you first join any site, it can be like feeding time at the shark tank....FRESH MEAT!! That initial wave of emails COULD lead a person of either gender to feel they will continue to have more choices and thus to reject or ignore anyone they may feel they are completely or marginally incompatible with. When I put my profile up here and on other sites, I experienced this phenomenon. Yes....at first I WAS getting 15-20 new emails a day. Now I might get one every couple of weeks, and that's fine. The emails I DO get now are mostly form men who have actually taken the time to read my profile and determine we might have a thing or 2 in common. I'd much prefer that.]

This is such an interesting forum. Browsing through it certainly passes the time, since I work the vampire shift (11pm-7am). And yes, my employer knows what I am doing and what site I am on and does not care.

The above quote is from blueeyedgirl42 way back in message 1548. To her, I say hallalula. This is exactly what happened to me. I've been on this site for a short 3 1/2 months, but I learned very quickly to block those profiles I've viewed. Its a matter of self-preservation. I am a victim of Yahoo Personals and there I learned to only initiate contact with someone who intriqued me or shared my interests. I'm old enough to know what I like and what I don't like. I've been married and divorced before to a man who did not share my interests. I won't do that again. If that is picky, great, cause I am. I think everyone should be a little picky, and those who say they are not are liars. Its human nature to be a little picky. Be picky and enjoy life, you only have one.
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 2223 (view)
 
Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 9/10/2008 1:11:32 AM
Opps, I just posted a response to skepticallady who posted way back 12/2907 and quit the site 1/3/08. But what I saids still stands true. People come to this site looking for something, post a non-specific profile and don't really state what they want or don't want. Then when they get the responses, they look down their noses (as she did) and complain that there are no nice people on this site; that the entire other gender is unresponsive, users, scammers, etc. There are those type people here, they are everywhere. These social dating sites contain a cross-section of society and if they are out in the real world they are here where they can reinvent themselves into anything. I know I've kissed a few frogs, but I have met some nice people. I'm still looking for someone special, maybe it will tomorrow, next week or maybe I've met him already. I don't know. I do know if I give up, I'll never find him. It's a cliche, but time will only tell.

As for being unresponsive to emails, I am guilty of that. To anyone I've done this to, I am humbly sorry. Too little time, overwhelmed, underwhelmed, don't know what to say, don't want to be rude but don't know how to say "thanks, but not interested", and so on. There are so many excuses and I've only named a few. It doesn't help when your old messages are dumped and when you have the time they are gone. You just can't judge anyone or this site by unknowns, like skepticallady who was prejudiced against Harley riders.
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 2221 (view)
 
Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 9/10/2008 12:18:08 AM
[One other question...why do guys put pictures of their dogs and motorcycles on their postings ? Is that supposed to show us some insight into their personalities ? It just shows me how immature or materialistic they are as far as "looky here what I got...I's got me a Harley-Davidson...I'm one bad-a**).... ]

Obviously, you are not into Harleys or motorcycle riders. For those of us who are, it is not a status symbol for most. Its just one their interests, just like a picture of you with your pets, in your garden or anything you are into. And yes it is an insight into their personalities, that they have a little edge to them or that they like the freedom their bike gives them. And maybe it is a good idea for them to post their pictures with their Harly-Davidsons, it weeds out people like you that don't like bikes. As for me, I like all motorcycles, especially the Harleys. And I like the profiles that show them, cause it shows an interest we have. Remember that when you post something on this site, it is to encourage communication. Interests whether written or pictures does that.

By the way, don't be such a snob. All Harley riders are hoodlums and Hells Angels. There are some very nice, very Christain people (go to www.heavenssaints.com) that ride them too; and some very patriotic ones too. Google Patriot Guard Riders and you might learn something.
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 133 (view)
 
Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 9/8/2008 10:57:33 PM
Not anymore. I like what vrb1955 said about having faith in like. If you believe in like and love comes along, its great. But if you keep looking for love and it doesn't pan out, you can be devistated. It may sound pessimestic, but I believe it is a reality check. It seems all the men I've ever put my faith in were only using me for one thing, their benefit.
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Some advice please...
Posted: 9/4/2008 10:38:27 PM
You are not wrong, just human. Very few people can go through life and suffer tragedy, abandonment, pain or anger without a little fear creeping into our hearts and minds. It's called self-protection and God created us that way so we can survive. He also created us to look beyond that fear and move forward. Because you recognize that fear and what is behind it, you are on your way to moving forward. In time you will find love again and I recommend you take that chance. Nothing in this life is guaranteed. If you don't take that chance, you will have nothing. If you take that chance, you may find your hearts desire. Just give yourself a little time to heal.
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
How long do you wait to avoid being a one-night stand?
Posted: 8/14/2008 5:23:21 AM
Let's face it. Humans are sexual beings. But most of us want something more than just sex. I can only speak for myself, but I want companionship and friendship too. The rules have changed so much since I learned about dating. Back in the olden days you didn't do it until you were married. Since I don't want to get married again, that is not an option. Nor do I want to wait forever. I'm human and I like sex. However, I am not a one-night stand and I don't want a one-night stand, but how far into a relationship do you wait before you are not dropped the next day?
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 172 (view)
 
STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 7/30/2008 12:06:48 AM
[You know what's even more amazing than people responding to a 3 year old thread?]

The reason people are still responding to a 3-year old thread is because it happens every day and people have to vent. It's wonderful that she found her true love, but my guess is that we're not responding to her as much as grumbling about the rudeness of people.
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Looking for Suggestions
Posted: 7/28/2008 1:35:28 PM
By the way, I didn't rant on spelling. Everybody can make a mistake on spelling. What I was ranting about was capitalization and the use of text messaging shorthand. Half the time I get a headache trying to figure out what they are saying. I do send out messages on my own and I read the profiles before I respond.
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Looking for Suggestions
Posted: 7/28/2008 1:19:39 PM
Thank you for your suggestions and spelling corrections. Just wanted to let you know that the 1971 is not the year of my supposed birth, its the year I graduated from high school. It has a special meaning to me, ties me back to my roots and friends far far away.
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 230 (view)
 
Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 7/27/2008 4:40:35 PM
I looked at your profile and it says you are 40. At that age, dating a young man 22 years younger than herself is just a little too much for me. He would be 18. That's borderline jailbait. That does not mean I am against dating younger men. It would depend on common interests and mutual respect. I am a very young 54 and have dated men 35, an age difference of 19 years, and enjoyed myself very much. They treated me with respect and dignity, we had a lot in common and talked for hours. It didn't work out, but I would do it again.

I prefer dating men younger than me. They generally have more energy and a passion for living life and, in my experience, is sorely lacking in my age or older.

What is important that age is a state of mind. Be with whomever you are comfortable with and don't let age be the deciding factor. Good Luck.
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Looking for Suggestions
Posted: 7/27/2008 3:28:30 PM
Hi Everyone,

I'm new to online social connections. I don't seem to get as many responses as I'd like and the ones I get are generally looking for one thing, sex. I know I say that I like to hug and kiss, and I do. I am an affectionate woman, but I am not a one night stand. How do I word it so that the wrong impression is the not first impression?
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 159 (view)
 
STOOD UP by a P.O.F. MEMBER
Posted: 7/27/2008 2:28:41 PM
I feel your frustration. The same thing happens to me all the time. I don't understand their cowardly behavior. Is it so hard to send an email that says "Thanks but not interested". It is only 4 words. He can remain aloof and removed and hide behind his personna all he wants. People I've talked to say that he wasn't worth my while and to be glad I never met him, he was obviously a jerk. But that does not help your anger at his rude behavior.

I have a question for you men. Do women do that to you? Do they lead you down the garden path then stand you up on the first date?
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 92 (view)
 
Domestic violence and the legal system...How has it treated you?
Posted: 7/24/2008 1:55:19 AM
You ask why didn't she just leave. I can tell you, and this is straight from the horse's mouth because I've been there, done that and have that tee shirt. You may never understand why because you are a man and you have never been beaten down unto submission. It all starts before they physically lay a hand on you. It is a mind game that is played to beat you in to subversion of your mind, your being and your thought process. The begining is, as in all most tragedies, good and that is what makes the end so horrifying. You are treated good, you are swept off your feet, you feel loved like you have never felt loved before. And so you love back, and then it begins. The critizims at first are small and may even point at things you want to change in yourself. But they do not stop, everyday there is something else that you are doing wrong. Then it grows, not only is it that what you are doing, but what you are not doing. For instance, you spend all day cleaning and you feel good about what you have done. He comes home and notices that you have cleaned. He may or may not say something nice, but he will say "I noticed that you cleaned, why couldn't you have done the laundry while you were cleaning." And that continues. Then time frames start changing, not only do you not do it right, or enough, you didn't do it soon enough. Then he begins to call you stupid. Not outright, of course because that is not his style. He wants you to question your intellegence. He says "You know better than that",
"Just think about it and you know I am right", or the more bolder "How can you be so dumb". By that time, you don't do anything right, soon enough or even enough and you are stupid. Then he incorporates how worthless you are and that you should be thankful you have him because no one else would want you. While all this brainwashing is going on he begins to loose control of his temper. Little flares at first, then they grow into outright seethings of hate and anger. The worst part is that you never know what causes it, so being the victimized person you have become, you believe that it something that you have done. But the harder you try not to irritate him, the more irrational he becomes and the bigger the blowups become and the physical abuse begins.

So why not leave? Because you have become brainwashed into believing you are worthless, stupid, incompent and generally like the lowest piece of scum that he has scraped off the bottom of his foot. You have no where to go, no one to turn to and you know no one can help you. So what else is there to do but stay.

For over 40 years I was a strong, intellegent, independant and confidant woman. Yet this was done to me and that is what I became. I was lucky. We had insurance and I found someone to help me relearn what I was. But most women are not that lucky. Additionally, there still exists today such a stigmatism about seeking mental health treatment. If you seek help, not only are you the above, you are now crazy.

You ask why a woman would stay. Sir, that is why.
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 715 (view)
 
why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 7/23/2008 12:26:34 AM
Darlin, I've got a few years on you and I hate to say it, but it gets no better. It seems that most single men, no matter the age, are looking for one of two things; either a motherly housekeeper with whom they can have sex or a one-night-stand. It doesn't matter how it starts, how much they protest or how much "milk and honey" drips from their mouths, that's what they are looking for. At the first sight of intellegence, they run. At the first sight of independence, they try to control. If you say no, they persist. No is a simple word that is too complex for them. They are sure you really mean yes and that you are trying to show them you are a "good" girl. It doesn't matter if you give them what they are looking for or if you manage to convince them that no means no; first chance they get, they will disappear into thin air without a word. If you men think that I have a bad attitude. You are right, but that attitude was developed over the years by men. I have too many "been there, done that" tee shirts. If you are sure I'm wrong, then prove it. Show me that there is an intellegent, articulate man out there that has a thirst for fun and life who can appreciate the same in a woman and isn't looking for sex first and foremost. I don't believe they exist. I keep hoping they do, but then I believe in love too.
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 42 (view)
 
First Date Etiquette
Posted: 7/22/2008 10:54:36 PM
In my life, I've had only one guy bring me flowers on the first date and it impressed the heck out of me. I thought "here is a true gentleman." I agree with the girl who said a single yellow rose would be perfect. It is simple, not ostentatious, and is a sign of respect. Go for it.
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 159 (view)
 
What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/22/2008 10:42:58 PM
I hate to live in the negative but true unconditional love very rarely exits. You get it from your dog and your children when they are little. Even as your children get older, their love does not remain unconditional. Unconditional love is given by the innocent. I know I'm jaded but my experience of late is that unconditional love is only slightly rarer than a man who isn't looking for a one-night stand or a motherly caretaker. They just don't seem to exist, no matter what a man says.
 Calif1971dream
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 712 (view)
 
If someone emails you with misspelled words and bad grammar, do you respond?
Posted: 7/9/2008 9:35:46 AM
I agree with you. Most of the time, it turns me off too. If you are IM or chatting, its understandable. I know my mind goes faster than my fingers. I try to correct as I go, but sometimes things pass unnoticed. However, when someone does it on their profile or constantly throughout their emails, it seems lazy to me. Speed is not the case there. You have all the time in the world to correct your mistakes. One of my college professors use to complain all the time about the poor grammar and use of text messaging shortcuts in papers submitted to her, and she wasn't a English teacher. What disturbs me, if these people are claiming to be professional people and don't know the difference between your and you're or that I is a pronoun that is capitalized, what is our country coming to. Maybe I'm too picky too, but I'd rather live in a country that puts its best foot forward rather than what is easy and quick.
 
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