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katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

confused and frustrated Posted: 10/22/2006 6:24:01 PM
Thanks everybody!

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

confused and frustrated Posted: 10/20/2006 6:41:54 PM
hey AngelikDevil06, I looked into that and your right. He has all the symptoms except one. I really think this is whats goin on. I just wanted to say thankyou for pointing me in that direction.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

confused and frustrated Posted: 10/20/2006 2:54:26 PM
Thanks AngelikDevil06. Im gonna look into that

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

confused and frustrated Posted: 10/20/2006 1:17:35 PM
I think that in a way he is being kinda selfish to ask you to wait for him without the title of being girlfriend that's just his way of having his cake and eating it too. Plus it sounds like you made plans to marry before he signed up for the special operation you would think he would have thought about how you would feel him being in such danger 24 -7 ..if it was me i wouldn't wait if he says he wants to be friends than that's what i would be a good friend but nothing more He asked me to wait for him if it was what i wanted. He isnt trying to discourage me from going out and living my life the way i want to. And as to him signing for delta, he was recommended before he proposed to me and made the decision after we were engaged. And again he talked to me about it and that is all stated in a previous post. But i can see why you would inquire these allegations. The only person that knows what will be best for me in the future when it comes to him is me. Im not asking anyone what i should do. Simply trying to find answers for his actions. But again what you have said is your opinion and i have though about that so thankyou.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

confused and frustrated Posted: 10/20/2006 1:12:56 PM
What was the real pupose of your post ? Are you wondering why he wants an excuse for cheating, whether it be with a female or male ? He doesn't want a 'title' because that means if he has sex with someone, then it would be 'CHEATING', without the title, it is "battle fatigue". I think both of you need time to grow up a little. 20 may feel old to you, but trust me, unless you plan on dying before 50, it isn't. lol I am still young enough to start my second family, now that my adult children have left the nest. okay ya472, This post has nothing to do with cheating. and in my previous post i said why i posted this thread. To simply ask POF users out there if any of them had ideas, or possibly answers, to Brandons actions toward our relationship. Also, if you misread my previous posts, i stated that we both said the cheating would still apply the same as if we were together therefore your assumption is nothing more than an "assumption". I resent the fact that you judge me by my age. I to agree that we have growing up to do but that doesnt make my age the problem at hand. I consider myself mature for my age and ive been through alot more than you could imagine. Its not the number that matters its the experience and situations the person has been through and learned from. And as to your comment regarding 20 as being young and unless i plan on dying before im 50, um i dont know if you noticed but brandon is in a war. The possibilities of him not dying before hes 50 is slim to none and for all you know i could die in a car accident tomorrow. But hey your entitled to your own opinion and i respect that.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

confused and frustrated Posted: 10/19/2006 7:00:48 PM
I have to correct you on your first statement ya472, brandon had talked to me before he signed for Delta and i had told him it was his decision and that he has worked his whole career for that opportunity. Its like a promotion in a civilian occupation. I would never ask him to get out of the military or talk him out of something that i know he truly loves to do and cares about. I accepted the fact that he was dedicated to the military when i said yes to being his girlfriend. He made a life decision to dedicate his life to the military years before he met me and i respect that whole heartedly. I love him enough to stand by him no matter what he decides. I have thought about my future and i have many years of school ahead. And he wasnt thinking just on MY best interests he was thinking of BOTH of our interests. Im not ridiculing him by no means for what he said to me im simply questioning those out there on POF for answers regarding his choice of action in our relationship. In which i must say many have given me alot of things to take into consideration and you all have helped me out immensely i thankyou all very much.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

confused and frustrated Posted: 10/19/2006 12:45:31 PM
thanks rune, hes been stressed lately with things from his family as well as me i guess. We got into a fight a week before he had said all that to me but other than that we dont ever have dramatical issues. He says he thinks about umm sexual i guess you could say and things that are gonna happen when he gets home with us when hes out patroling and stuff like that and that those sort of things distract him. But what confuses me the most is that, he still talks to me and everything the same so why would the title of us bein friends or whatever make the thoughts he had before go away? especially because he talks to me about us getting married and when he gets home all the time still. Thats why im surrounded by confusion. It just doesnt make sense. Wolves-lower- yes i realize that things happen over there and affect him but at the same time its his third time over there, and our relationship has been fine since hes been over there this last time. Why would after months of him being over there would he all the sudden say it now if that was the case?

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

confused and frustrated Posted: 10/19/2006 12:39:51 PM
thanks sassy, i know what i can live with and want its just that im wondering if anyone can understand him. Hes confusing me so much. I just wish i knew why he is acting like this.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

confused and frustrated Posted: 10/19/2006 12:20:34 PM
OKay, where to begin, (im sorry this is so long) um me and brandon met about a year and two months ago. He had just got back from Iraq (hes an Army Ranger) and we hit it off as friends. He was getting ready to get re deployed so we had no intentions of being anything more. But about two weeks before he left he asked me to be his gf. So we decided to be together. HE is still in iraq and in August he asked me to marry him. (Yes i know at only 20 it was kinda crazy) but circumstances made it seem like a good idea. Well everything was going great. We planned to get married in February when he gets back. Well about a week ago when i talked to him he seemed a little depressed and like something was bothering him so i asked him what was wrong. He said he didnt see how me and him were gonna work out. He had signed for Delta Force (and i dont know who is familiar with that or not but its a special ops that is used for very classified and emergency type situations) Its like the rangers only Delta Force is at more risk. Anyway, so he started goin on about how he was never goin to be home and that he didnt think it was ever gonna work out for me and him. Said that this was his worse tour (also his third) that hes ever had because when he goes out on patrol and stuff he thinks about things with me and him and its almost got him killed a few times because he wasnt concentrating on his work. Said he couldnt handle it right now. But then said he still wanted to be friends. And that if i was single when he got done with combat that he would be with me. Well a couple days later he said that we didnt break up were in between. (whatever that means) and that he still loves me hes still not going to cheat on me. And now everyhting is back to the same as it was before only now he considers us friends but yet he still doesnt want me goin out as if i was single. He still tells me he loves me and misses me and that he cant wait to come home and see me ect. Its like he wants to be together without the title. I was thinking maybe hes being like this because the title scares him or maybe that without him thinking about the title he doesnt think about us as much when hes out. I dont know. Im really confused so if anybody has any input please share. I dont mind criticizm i just want your honest opinions. I can handle it. Thankyou. And again im sorry that it is so long.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 32 (view)

Biggest problems in marriage leading to divorce? Posted: 10/16/2006 5:04:44 PM
Wow ksue44, i think that is a very outspoken response. Everyone basically broke it down to the same things so i know what to think about now/prepare for if there is such a thing as preparing.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Biggest problems in marriage leading to divorce? Posted: 10/11/2006 2:13:26 PM
okay but in most cases if you could go back would you do it again or is it a regret for life? is it worth trying?

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

WHAT WOMEN OR MEN THINKING? Posted: 10/11/2006 2:08:12 PM
What to say or not to say.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Biggest problems in marriage leading to divorce? Posted: 10/11/2006 1:47:58 PM
Personal experience that has happend to anyone. Do you care to share?

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Is it an Omen that military relationships are destined to fail? Posted: 10/11/2006 8:13:11 AM
thanks dentedknight, you helped me out as well. I think its unpredicted. I wont know how i will react until im put in that situation but i love him so im gonna do it. IF i can go 18 months while hes in iraq im gonna try and make a marriage work when circumstances have him gone off and on. Hes a ranger and considering delta so he will be gone quite often. something i just recently had to accept. Thankyou for all your responses. its helped me think about alot.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Is it an Omen that military relationships are destined to fail? Posted: 10/10/2006 7:15:12 PM
thankyou both for your responses. Me and my fiance have been dating for awhile and he proposed to me. Hes in iraq right now and everybody ive talked to discouraged me but i think you two just helped me out immensely.Thankyou.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 114 (view)

curious? Posted: 10/10/2006 1:03:51 PM
It depends on the girl and the guy. The size or price of the ring doenst matter to all women. Its suppose to be about wanting to spend the rest of your life with that person not about what kind of ring he has to offer. It doesnt matter if she is goin to keep that ring on for the rest of her life, it symbolizes that shes with someone not suppose to symbolize how much money she married into. How much he cares about you isnt determined by the size of a ring.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Is it an Omen that military relationships are destined to fail? Posted: 10/10/2006 12:37:19 PM
To those that have been in a military relationship situation or are in one right now, is it possible for all the assumptions and perceptions to be wrong? In other words, is it possible that it can be done without it getting totally messed up? I know civilian relationships work and some dont but is it the same for a military relationship? Or is it safe to accept that its destined to end up not working out? Especially in a time of war.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

What is the point of certain people advising in this thread....... Posted: 7/11/2006 1:49:35 PM
I dont smile in any pictures i take. Just dont like to. And my bf is in Iraq so im not exactly excited if you know what i mean. and lighten up? i am lightened up. I dont take anything that people say to heart.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

What is the point of certain people advising in this thread....... Posted: 7/11/2006 1:36:18 PM
"She's 20 and gets in cat fights. Late blooming high school graduate!!!" okay seriously, cat fights? if your refering to what i posted about punching andrea in the face... that wasnt a cat fight. if you would have read other posts you would know she deserved that. But lol better let you have your laugh. "No I agree I think Katie19 is correct-internet dating isnt about having fun,and God forbid you make anyone laugh. The moderators look down upon this sort of behaviour lest someone may actually realise someone has a sense of humour,and they may get together. Scandalous.This must be put to an end right now. " Never said it was bad that they do it. Merely just wondering why? And if it was as amusing as they proclaim it as. Never said i was against humor. "To the OP: You'll feel better once you snag a man." and dave... if your referring to me getting a bf....... yeah i already got one buddy

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

What is the point of certain people advising in this thread....... Posted: 7/11/2006 1:24:49 PM
Circus freak that wasnt a smart ass comment that was some real advice comin from me there. You are 46 and have a problem flirting with other girls?? come on now that def. needed a post like i gave you. Hipocrate... nope that was an honest advice post.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

What is the point of certain people advising in this thread....... Posted: 7/11/2006 1:16:25 PM
I can take it as good as i can give it just wondering what the secret is behind it. Maybe i should try it and see what happens.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

What is the point of certain people advising in this thread....... Posted: 7/11/2006 1:15:32 PM
I understand that like i said they are entitled to there own opinion. But when you look at all there posts and see that they have smart ass remarks in each one what honestly is the point of being in the forums? Thats why i posted this to ask simply if its amusing?

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

What is the point of certain people advising in this thread....... Posted: 7/11/2006 1:10:29 PM
Okay this is all about expressing your opinion, but seriously why do some of the people that come into these forums say stupid stuff like.... Go for it or Date there Borther or other things on the lines of totally off key? Do they think they're funny? So if your one of those people please answer my question and sum up my confusion?

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

anyone want an irish email friend. Posted: 7/11/2006 1:02:59 PM
Theres alot that arent americans in here you just have to find them. And this isnt the only dating site. Look around online

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

How can they say they love me? Posted: 7/11/2006 12:48:35 PM
How does he communicate with you? maybe you should avoid/ignore him and see where that goes.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 109 (view)

When do you say you cheated? Posted: 7/11/2006 12:23:07 PM
~UPDATE~ me and andrea got into a fight this weekend and i just wanted to state that she did lie about it and i talked to the guy she says i slept with and he said nothing happend. I already told Brandon the whole story and he said hes glad i told him. So to all those that thought i was a whoring cheater thats a NEGATIVE didnt happen thank God and by the way i did punch andrea in the face when she told me she made it up. Thanks everyone for the advice!

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 107 (view)

When do you say you cheated? Posted: 7/11/2006 12:09:43 PM
"I agree. If you're an adult then you should know how alcohol affects you and your ability to make decisions. If you know that you are an idiot drunk then you shouldn't be drinking. This has happened to me before (not the cheating part) but when I was in my 20's I slept with a couple of guys because I was drunk that I wouldn't have slept with otherwise. I dealt with the self loathing and the fact that I did this. I didn't blame the guy. I was the one that got so drunk that I didn't know what I was doing, not him. This is just another example of people not taking responsibility for their actions. It's easy isn't it? I was drunk, I wasn't myself, I'm going to blame the guy that I probably threw myself at and call it rape, poor me, I was a victim in all of this. Now, I'm going to dump this on my loving husband while he is out in one of the worst places he can be fighting for my rights. At least my concious will be clear and I won't have to carry my little bucket of guilt around. I'll give it to him. He can deal with it. While your at it why don't you have the poor SOB you had sex with arrested? This was self inflicted and for that I have no sympathy for you. Lay off the sauce if it turns you into this kind of person. And, what kind of friend would let you do something like this? I'd dump her ass the way you're going to get dumped. I'm sorry this is so harsh but you've had all the pity you need. This is your reality check." Wow easy there. I never once stated i thought it was rape in the slightest. and I already stated i dont use the achohol as an excuse for my IRRESPONSIBILITY. I never once blamed the guy either. So next time you should read the posts before you begin assumptions and ridiculing me. Like i also previously stated i usually dont drink like that it was my bday so i got carried away and also so that i am not gonna drink anymore. And pity?..... i think not simply posted to see if i should wait to tell him not to get teh guilt off my mind because it will always be there but because he deserves to know. So basicallly what im trying to say is your post is COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 86 (view)

short hair vs long hair Posted: 7/7/2006 3:22:21 PM
hair matters to me when it comes to a guy. I prefer guys with short hair. I think its because they are attracted to females so longer hair makes them look more feminine. Im sure if they knew why you did it they would change there opinion. To them maybe they think you like there hair like that.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 45 (view)

When do you say you cheated? Posted: 7/7/2006 3:13:45 PM
raindbowfishh, he doesnt have contact with her. She however could contact him with my phone. Im gonna take my phone with me everywhere now. Especially now that you have put that thought in my mind. It pisses me off that she would lie to me about something this serious. I think i am gonna have to cut all ties with her.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 43 (view)

When do you say you cheated? Posted: 7/7/2006 3:09:28 PM
Not in the slightest. I said they shouldnt legalize pot. never said Damn those that do it. I didnt state that i was against people that do illegal things. I think you need to go re read a few things before you throw out words your tryin to put in someones mouth.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 40 (view)

When do you say you cheated? Posted: 7/7/2006 3:05:45 PM
Thanks crow. I probably will wait till he gets back. It just sucks everytime i hear from him i feeel so bad. But now im kinda thinkin Andrea is lying to me. Im gonn alook into a little more before i say anything to brandon. thanks for all your help.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 38 (view)

When do you say you cheated? Posted: 7/7/2006 2:50:25 PM
Why would i get trashed like that in front of my bro or dad? lets be a little more realistic. I know a few people that have gotten so intoxicated they didnt remember anything. and again i didnt say it justifys me "cheating" on my man.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 30 (view)

If someone offered you money to marry them to get their citzenship..would you??? Posted: 7/7/2006 2:47:38 PM
Hell no. Im a meanie but damnit make them earn citizenship. Like Lots of other people previously have. No one likes to be used.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 91 (view)

Being truthful doesnt always work Posted: 7/7/2006 2:44:49 PM
Some people ask and **** about the response. fact of life. Some people are just retarded like that. Its unexplainable. Actually its more like they are expecting a certain answer and when they dont get it they get pissed.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 33 (view)

When do you say you cheated? Posted: 7/7/2006 2:39:45 PM
No i havent talked to the guy. Ive been kinda avoiding it. I would feel kind of uncomfortable. We were all outside and andrea said i went to go to the bathroom and her mom has to bathrooms and the guy i supposably had sex with went inside a few minutes later. She came in looking for me and he was on top of me on the bed. According to her. i dont know its stressin me out. I think i am going to confront this guy and ask him what the hell happend.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 29 (view)

When do you say you cheated? Posted: 7/7/2006 2:19:45 PM
"Sounds like you want to tell him to relieve your guilt, even if it would increase his stress level in Iraq, which could get him killed. Sounds like you made up your mind already. And just want someone to tell you its ok to do it. " What are you talking about? I never stated i was gonna tell him while he was in iraq or not. merely just stated that i was gonna tell him. And rainbowfishh thanks for the advice. I definately think thats what i will do since i dont know whether to believe her or not.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

When do you say you cheated? Posted: 7/7/2006 2:11:35 PM
No idont know whether or not she is lying. That is part of the problem. She did stop us and made him get off me. (according to her). Im against cheating entirely that is why im gonna tell him no matter if she is lying or not.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

When do you say you cheated? Posted: 7/7/2006 2:08:16 PM
I dont know. I hardly ever drink and that is why it really messed me up that night. I could have been passed out for all i know but i dont and thats what also is bothering me. But i feel it would be best if i told him because with me being unsure is just as bad as it happening. Does that make any sense? If you dont believe me thats cool your entitled to your opinion i just needed to know when to tell him this might have happend.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

When do you say you cheated? Posted: 7/7/2006 2:02:41 PM
"He has the right to know whether he might be getting a potential STD or not. ( In all honesty, even you don't know what you might have now. You were drunk and you dont sound like you quite know who you had sex with. ) " I went to the Doc on tuesday. I dont have anything i made sure i didnt. Im a very anal person. Im kinda stuck in a predicament tho because my friend Andrea and i got in a fight about my bf couple weeks ago and she told me i was crazy for being with him when hes in iraq but she was drunk when she said that so i dont know if it has anything to do with what happend on my bday or not. Should i tell him theres a possibility i cheated on him?

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

When do you say you cheated? Posted: 7/7/2006 1:58:46 PM
We started drinking Captain Morgan. Straight. thats what messed me up. And it is true i dont know that i actually did it but the fact that im putting my trust in my friend i assume i did. And i dont use my drunk irresponsibility as an excuse. Like i said i never have cheated before and im totally against it.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

When do you say you cheated? Posted: 7/7/2006 1:54:29 PM
Thats the thing it was my bday and i was trashed. I dont remember any of it. I dotn drink unless im at my gfs house with no guys. When he went over there i decided not to put my self in a situation where that could happen but on my bday i had been drinkin alot before the guy i supposably slept with showed up because i dont remember him arriving. I love my bf and want to tell him so bad but like i said i need suggestions on when to tell him.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 569 (view)

Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met? Posted: 7/7/2006 1:50:46 PM
I think its possible. You know a person more from talking with them than seeing them. I think it just depends on how shallow you are

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

When do you say you cheated? Posted: 7/7/2006 1:44:23 PM
I know im gonna regret posting this but im gonna go for it anyway. I have always been against cheating. Never had cheated on anyone before. Well the other night i got so trashed (so i was told) and my friend said she walked in and i was having sex with one of the guys that was over there. (i dont rememeber anything). So how do i tell my Boyfriend who is in Iraq? I want to tell him now but i dont want him to be pissed and get killed for thinking on it. Or should i tell him when he gets home? Any suggestions?

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

should i stay or should i go Posted: 7/6/2006 2:02:53 PM
Do you really love or have strong feelings for this girl or is it just lust? I think you kinda just answered yourself in a sense. You said you are trying to figure out which is more important to you. Therefore you should base your decision once you figure out that answer. Am i making any sense?

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

should i stay or should i go Posted: 7/6/2006 1:53:54 PM
I think you should give it a shot since she did. If you dont like it move back. Who knows you might like it where shes at tho.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 37 (view)

Space Posted: 7/6/2006 12:42:07 PM
I think its because she might be feeling some strong feelings for you and needs to think whether or not this is what she wants right now. Just give her some space and let her figure out what it is she wants.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

A sister? Posted: 7/6/2006 12:39:31 PM
You really cant do anything but accept it and move on. maybe you will find someone better or the guy you are talkin about may change his mind. But i would suggest staying friends and collect yourself and try moving on. best of luck. muah

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 41 (view)

Fellow ladies, would this gross you out, or is it just me? Posted: 7/6/2006 12:18:47 PM
people do shit like that all the time. Its not that he isnt a guy to settle with more like you and him are not on the same page with it comes to being sexual. Obviously he likes to get crazy and experiment and probably has a pretty inticing sex life. If you think thats gross than move on he will probably find a girl with the same sexual interests.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 37 (view)

Do u expect to have sex on a first date or as a first date?? Posted: 7/6/2006 12:14:16 PM
depends on the circumstances whole heartedly. Anything can happen.

katie19

Joined: 9/4/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

Face scars on a lady. Posted: 7/6/2006 12:13:30 PM
My bf has a couple scars and one on his face from his last tour in iraq and it doesnt bother me. I love him anyway scars or not. The only thing that bothers me about it is how insecure it makes him.

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