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 Author Thread: Choosing between your love and your son
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Choosing between your love and your son
Posted: 10/3/2009 7:27:07 AM
I must really be getting old when a 58 year old man cant decide if his son is more important than a 22 year old "girl". Sure she loves you!!!!! I would have loved an older man that paid my way at 22....hell I'd love an older man to pay my way now. LOL No not true.

No..you are absolutely right about not being a role model. Look....divorced is one thing. As long as there was not abuse I dont care about the reasons, but that does not negate your role as a father. And if the s0n is angry then maybe you should be in counseling together.

Your biggest mistake is in looking at your being there for him as a sacrifice. And so how are you going to feel when you lose your son AND the girl. When she is 27 and though school and starting her career you are 63 and checking out your SS options do you think she is really going to be there. You are her "rescuer" so I dont doubt she loves you for that., but come on.

I am glad you are in counseling and I suspect you need it for more reasons than your son.

GOOD LUCK

PEACE

pretty moon
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Getting even or holding a grudge... which would you do?
Posted: 1/9/2009 3:50:35 PM
Probably neither, unless something needs to be done legally. Holding a grudge will affect your emotional well being. Barring legal action, getting even probaby will put you in the same category as he/she is when it comes to character.

I would just want him/her out of my life so I could move on.


PEACE

pretty moon
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
How do you change who you are in order to find love?
Posted: 1/7/2009 3:25:44 PM
Fear..of it not working....fear of caring and losing it..fear fear fear so we self sabatoge. The easiest way to do that is to start finding little things to pick at ..... their dress, the manner in which they eat, we get hyper critical of things they say and how they say it..Its common after being alone for any length of time. We say we dont want to be alone, but are we ready to give up the space and independence we have gained??

And what if they dont live nearby and one of us has to relocate. Yikes!!!

I think it just has to be taken very slowly. Think of it as getting to know any new friend. Just date and enjoy the moment without thinking of them as a potential partner. Let the emotions grow instead of being all emotional in the beginning and have them fade.JMHO

PEACE

pretty moon
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
She's Too Into You!
Posted: 1/3/2009 12:57:43 PM
Too into you= needy, insecure,low self esteem
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
A Story Open for Opinions
Posted: 1/3/2009 8:52:43 AM
There are major problems with both that need to be addressed.
He is an addict....will aways be an addict even if he is"sober"for the rest of his life. The fact that he didnt mention his addiction to her is a red flag. He had either not been to treatment or somewhere in him knew he had or would reuse. A recovering addict will be honest if he truly is trying to kick his addiction.

As for her. She chose to stay and see him through a very difficut time. I understand her mistrust, but she has to work through that herself. There is nothing he can do to reassure her . If he makes promises that he cant or may not keep he is lying to both her and himself.

If they stay together as a couple they need to go to counseling...individually, and as a couple. It would be nice if life would just fall into place after something major, but most of the time it doesnt. He cant promise her he will never use again. He can only promise to take it one hour, one day at a time. AND TO TRY.


I wish them luck..........
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Mother in law / wife situation
Posted: 12/12/2008 8:07:22 PM
I would questiion what kinds of conversations your wife is having with your mother about you. Does she call her to complain about you every time you have a disagreement? I know if my daughter called me to tell me about things that happen between her and her husband I would naturally want to take my daughters side, even though I would normally not get involved in their marriage.

Too many phone calls and complaints to mama will make you not a real likable guy in her eyes. If she is complaining about you to friends I'm sure she is doing it to her mom. And then when things are good with the two of you your wife doesnt want hear negatives from her mom, but the seed has already been planted.

So I suspet the mother in law doesnt like you because of what she heard from her daughter about you.

Communication in a relationship is key. If your wife is having a problem with you she should be discussing it with you not her mother or her friends.

As for the kids. Do not keep them from their nana unless she is in any way abusive or bad mouthing you. Then she needs to be talked to. JMHO

pretty moon
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
I would like your opines...
Posted: 12/4/2008 9:28:14 AM
She called you at 4 to set up the date and then called at 5:30 to cancel.,without her even giving you a reason for cancelling. Maybe she did have a good excuse...who knows......but something important must have happened in that hour and a half from making the date to canceling it. As she was the one to initially call to make the date I would see if she calls again.

A lot would depend on where you are in the relationship.
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Ever dated a person with psychic abilities?
Posted: 12/2/2008 7:24:30 AM
Intuition and disernement are two very powerful gifts. I think we all have them we just are too busy most of the time to tap into these gifts. As for psychic....I think its just very very powerful intuition. JMHO


pretty moon
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
What do you introduce each other as?
Posted: 12/2/2008 7:14:42 AM
There is nothing wrong with introducing him as your friend. Put a twinkle in your eye when you say it and people will know. And my question would be....as long as the two of you know you have this special connection is it important that you introduce him that others will know??

You can alway introduce him as your "special" friend. I think this has been done before. you may want to do a thread seach for some answers if it is that important to you.


PEACE

pretty moon
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Intolerant Codgers - Tolerant Crones
Posted: 11/30/2008 2:58:05 PM
Well I dont say complacency doesnt happen with some older people. I can just speak from my experience. I see many older women AND men taking up all kinds of new hobbies after retirement. I know some that are now skydiving, white water rafting, have taken up hiking and climbing.

Many volunteer at Soup kitchens and homeless shelters as well ther churches and Hospitals. Life is what your make it. If you have always been active and giving you will continue thoughout your Journey in this life.

I hope I am not redundant but only read the first and last page.

PEACE

pretty moon
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
What's going on in my ex's head?
Posted: 11/18/2008 7:58:08 AM

Eventually she gave up but as I was leaving that night she tried again and did more of the same but actually brought her boobs out and covered the nipples whilst shaking them. I still didn't look and then left the house and went home.


lol Confused here. If you didnt look then how do you know she covered her nipples and was shaking them? Now we all know you looked. FESS UP.

It sounds like the old I dont want you but dont want anyone else to have you thing. She is keeping you on the hook in case this other relationship doesnt work. Or is that shaking the boobs? Or dangling the carrot?

In any event the only persons actions and feelings you have control over are your own. I would say move on, but I'm not sure your ready to do that. Your the only one that can make that decision.


GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
He needs some space
Posted: 11/18/2008 7:48:20 AM
Needing space is one thing....we all have things going on in our lives that can only be handled by ourselves and sometimes we need to be on our on for a bit to handle it.

HOWEVER.....His saying he needs time to miss you. HUH? If you care about someone you dont want them out of your life. Now that is your red flag.

Move on........

Peace
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
The Other Woman
Posted: 11/18/2008 7:44:30 AM
Why meet her? Simply tell her you are no longer dating and wish her luck.

Whatever you have to tell her about him would be your perspective. Her's may be different, and it would only make you look bad. We all look for different things in people , and maybe he is satisfying what she is looking for.

Move on and forget about this man. It sounds like you have given five years of your life to him, that should be enough.

GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Not Compatible After 6 years?
Posted: 11/15/2008 5:42:12 AM
I think maybe he is confusing compatibility with separation. It's hard for anyone to have a long distance relationship, let alone young people. It 's hard when you see all that life going on around you with other young people and the person you should be enjoying it with is miles away.

Sometimes, although one loves another it is just time to call it a day. Remain friends if you can and who knows what the furture may hold for the two of you.

I have nothing bad to say about him....youth,separation by distance is a bad combination. We all change and if that person is not there to go through the changes with us we will find someone who will. It is always easier to accept the break when people can say all they did was fight, or the other cheated. That is not always the reason for breaking up. Sometimes people just grow apart. No fault of either one. In time you will remember it as just one of those wonderful experiences in your life.


PEACE
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
HOW did I screw this one up? I can't believe it....
Posted: 11/8/2008 1:12:35 PM
So your saying you had a bad day and expressed it and now think you shouldnt have? Well, if she is seeking perfection she's not going to find it on this planet. We all have down days, thats one of the reason why we are looking for that special person. To hold us and tell us everything is ok. To give us acomfort zone...a soft place to land.

Now if you went off on a tangent...then your a kook and shes wise to not answer your calls and to question who and what you are.....but otherwise sounds normal to me.

GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
this one is complicated
Posted: 11/8/2008 1:03:11 PM


i do want to work things out with her, but i dont want to be hurt by her anymore either. i love her to death though.. but i feel she will jsut keep doing this to me even if she changed her mind yet again and wanted to put some effort into being happy as a family.thats all i ever wanted. she wont keep my daughter from me, but i know she will not want to give her up either


It takes more than one person to work on a relationship, and obviously she doenst want that. As for being hurt by her in the future ITS OVER....people cant do to us what we dont allow.

It is time to get legal advise....get some help so you can move on.....and try to get joint custody of your child.

It's sometimes hard when love dies for one and not the other. You will always be the father of her child, so I hope for the childs sake you can maintain some kind of respect for each other, but not with each other.

I feel that you are hurting. That will pass. As someone said we havent heard her side of the story, and I'm sure the truth lies somewhere in the middle. It's time for a level head, some honest thinking, and finding a way to move on.

GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Single women have all the answers
Posted: 11/6/2008 6:14:18 AM
Ask them if they have all the answers how come its they that are still single?

Wont get into yur reltionship this thread isnt about that.


GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 31 (view)
 
how do i handle?
Posted: 10/31/2008 8:18:13 AM

Lady, the OP clearly explained why he is here and that is for the advice, not the dating. Remember also that a lot of people that frequent the forums are here for the forums and are in relationships and have no interest in starting or getting together with anyone. So can we keep it on track?


Man, his profile specifically states that he is on this site for dating. If he's didnt sign up to date then he should have said so on his profile. I hope the 26 year old see is and realizes how quick he jumped into starting to date.
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
how do i handle?
Posted: 10/31/2008 6:47:51 AM
My main concern here is the fact that you jumped right into joining a dating site before you knew where the situation with this young lady really stood. It gives me some understanding why a 40 year old man would be with a 26 year old. I think you may be emotionally and mentally compatible.

That being said. I think you could allow a few weeks to see where her head is if you are that in love with her. I would think she did a very sensible thing in postponing the weDding, if you were doing that much arguing before even being married. It would also give me pause as to whether marriage would be the right thing.

Look.......its not not like she just left without any word. She came and told you what she was feeling and where she was going. She needs a little space and two or three weeks is nothing when your talking about spending a lifetime with someone.

Now get off this site. Even if she decides she doesnt want to come back to you its much too early to go from and engagement to dating. And sure isnt fair to any other woman who is ready to move forward with her life.

GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Is it really that hard?
Posted: 10/27/2008 8:11:01 AM
Walls, walls, walls, and more walls.....He is on hold.
He probably assumes meeting the family is an indication that you want more than he is ready or willing to give. It sounds to me that he is happy withe the status quo and doesnt want it to go beyond that.

My guess is that he is holding some residual bitterness from his marriage and is determined not to emotionally go there again.

I mean come on...who has been datig a year and has not met the family? If you were my daughter I would be asking you to look long and hard a this relationship. It seems awfl one sided to me. I am sure , given this relationship is long distance that he gives you lots of attention when he is with you. That doesnt mean he is thinking of taking the relationship beyond what it is.

Now if you can tell me your happy with that .....so be it. Then you are both getting from this relationship what you want. Otherwise I think you have a year into a relationship that is not going to change any time soon. Not that its been wasted, as I'm sure you get some payback...BUT...Is this what you want long term? Only you can decide that.



GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
after the love has gone
Posted: 10/26/2008 8:50:17 AM
It doesnt sound to me like you've move on. Maintaining a relationship for the children is essential but that doesnt mean you have to socialize. You will always be in each others lives on some level if you have children together, so remaining cordial s a good idea.


So tell me do, do you want her back in your life? If the trust was there would you welcome her back? If the answer is yes then you still have love for her and should not be on a dating site bringing someone else into the mix. Your separated looking for a long term relationship. Married and looking is not a good idea. Get your life together.


PEACE
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Help with cousins Boyfriend
Posted: 10/25/2008 6:10:45 AM
What can you do? Nothing.

She seems to have made her choice. We have no control over someone else's thoughts and actions. The only thing you can do is be there for her when this comes crashing down. To put up with a deadbeat user and have the recognition that he is one demonstrates low self esteem.

We get in this life what we think we deserve. Ask her if this is what she thinks she deserves or if she is better than that? She sure cant call it love when she admits she is not happy with the relationship. She is an enabler.

One can only hope that she doesnt get pregnant. We already know from you he wont be there finalcially or emotionally.

He sounds like a narcisstic ars.



GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
I want a commitment from this guy, what to do?
Posted: 10/25/2008 5:28:29 AM
You want a committed realationship

He calls you and tells you he misses you and wants to see you and you say no. huh?

You cant have a committed relationship or tell him how you feel if you dont see him.

You are very confused, very confusing young lady.

Now call him up and tell him you need to talk to him. Let him know where you stand and ask him how he feels, and do it in person.

Now isnt that easy...............


GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Scared stiff
Posted: 10/24/2008 12:43:51 PM
When in doubt dont!!!!!!!!

There are already 3 guys that know each other living together. Now there would be you and another woman moving in . Relationships are hard enough without 3 other people in the mix taking sides if you have an arguement.

You will do what you think is best(I hope).

GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 88 (view)
 
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 10/24/2008 6:48:55 AM
^^^^^ charge him rent.....he would have to pay rent no matter where he lives with no invested interest in the property.
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Issues with gf
Posted: 10/23/2008 2:46:26 PM
If your only hanging out at school you are not dating.

Dating means two people going out TOGETHER..To a movie....to dinner......walking in the park....

Kids that are 12 and 13 are considered "seeing each other" and not dating.

Do you talk on the phone after school? If she doesnt want to see you outside of the halls of school I would not consider the two of you in a relationship. When I was 17 I would much rather have been with a guy I cared about than being out at a party with others.

Your 18 and obviously ready for a relationship. I dont think she is. At least not with you. Sorry to be so blunt.


GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 53 (view)
 
How can I stop my ex moving her man in?
Posted: 10/22/2008 7:39:35 AM
^^^^^ Of course not.He's not really eating badger.
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Dating at 60
Posted: 10/21/2008 2:27:56 PM
Unfortunately you arent going to get a lot of feedback on the forums with that question. There are very few people over 60 that post in the forums. Most arent even aware of them so I dont anticipate this thread will last very long.

As for my dating experiences from online...I dont think they are any different from ay other age group from what I read on the forums. You have honest people and then you have liars and cheats and those who just drop off the face of the earth lol

GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
he will help with some bills but never the rent
Posted: 10/20/2008 9:04:55 AM

and to be honest, the Op is lucky to have a man..period



How rude. And I see your here on a dating site with the rest of us.


OP...You need to give us more information as to how much he is actually contributing.
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
he will help with some bills but never the rent
Posted: 10/20/2008 8:07:49 AM

Hell, I'd happily pay my own mortgage, and if someone cohabitated with me and paid the cell, electric, and bought all food, I would consider that more than fair. And quite a stroke of good luck too. hahaha.



If you read the title of the thread she says he "helps" with some bills.....she didnt say he pays them or how often he HELPS.
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
he will help with some bills but never the rent
Posted: 10/20/2008 6:08:15 AM
I would keep an accoint of what your monthy bills run for 3 months including...rent....utilities....food...water..sewage etc. Anthing that applies to a monthly bill. Not car insurance or other personal; bills....yours and his should be separate...

At the end of three months show it to him in black and white..Say its 1500 a month.....ask him for 750 on the first of every month or make it so much weekly if thats how he gets paid.. Then YOU pay the bills.

It sounds to me like he is not being fair.....when people live together the bills should be shared equally except for personal things.

And you state he helps with some of the bills. What does that mean? He buys groceries and spends 50 dollars once a month? Pays the light bill occassionally?

Sit down make a list and ask him to be fair. He would pay room AND board anywhere else he is living.


GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
a lot of rubbish
Posted: 10/19/2008 10:40:38 AM
As a sexual abuse counselor I am advising you to go to a crisis center that deals in sexual abuse. And please dont think you are alone in this. They all have counseling and groups for men. They will help you deal with your grief also, but there are many places to go for grief counselig including churches.

Please dont try to deal with this on your own.

PEACE

 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 64 (view)
 
How do you deal with a parent your child has never met?
Posted: 10/18/2008 6:24:15 AM
Juliet.....just see how the meet goes and then when you come home sit down and have a talk with your son. Tell him that you didnt know where his father was for all these years and that you made the effort to find his father for HIM.

Let him know that his father was very receptive and anxious to meet him. Make it a happy event. Its all about him at this point. If he has questions, answer honestly what you know, except for his father wanting you to have an abortion. Thats not necesasary.....all he needs to know is that at the time his father was not grown up enough emotionally to be a parent.

I hope his father will be honest in answering any questions he may have. It is now time for truth.

I wish all three of you well.

PEACE
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 10/17/2008 8:52:05 AM
There are so many variable here. Is it his home? Does he have a mortgage? Do his kids live with him?

The best arragement would have been a set fee monthly before you moved in.
You are not responsible for his car payments nor he yours. He is responsible for his kids.

Why oh Why OH WHY....arent these things discussed and agreed upon before two people move in together.

If you had a set fee when moving in and wanted something additional that he didnt already have....like call waiting in a phone (its just an example folks) or an upgrade in cable or internet...then you pay........its your wish to have it.

Living together and being married are two different circumstances.

NOW..Go get your own place lol


GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Old friend
Posted: 10/16/2008 11:44:27 AM
I think someone doesnt know their boundries.......

You need to have a talk with her. If you have been friends this long you should be able to do that. She probably is thinking of you as a best friend and your dating interferes with that. Just think if you find a gf and dont spend as much time with her. OOPPS



Next time your "sleeping" in the same bed initiate some intimacy and when she asks what your doing tell her she is sending mixed messages....that ought to get a conversation going.

GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
what does intimate encounter mean to you
Posted: 10/16/2008 11:22:44 AM
IE.....SEX SEX SEX AND MORE SEX.......Must be relatively good looking, clean and discreet....Then get up and get the Heck out. And I better have a smile on my face lol

Now I'm not into IE's but if I was that would be the criteria. And oh....bring a bottle of wine.......good wine........


I really hate silly questions


PEACE
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Is Bald Beautiful?
Posted: 10/16/2008 9:15:42 AM
Bald brings to mind some of the sexiest men in the world......Personally I love it and wish more men in my age group would get the hint.

As for the body.......get a girlfrind and work on it that way.



pEACE
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
A man who communicates his feelings...
Posted: 10/16/2008 9:10:24 AM
Communicating your feelings and bleeding all of my floor are two different things. We just dont want you to be indifferent. There is a middle ground ...you dont have to go overboard.


PEACE
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Got stood up by two woman at once.
Posted: 10/16/2008 6:21:21 AM
Well looks like your radar was working. If I had those strong suspicions I would stop communication. Too much coincidence there and I'm not into playing games.

You are better off and now more aware. This is what women go though on here all the time and then we get blasted for being cautious. Not that I wish this to happen to anyone but maybe now you have an understanding of why some are so cautious before setting up a meet.

Kepp on the fishing...eventually a nice fishie will take the bait and you can put your rod and reel away. lol


And what's up with the anthonyjonathan/ you got the duel personality thing going there? lol maybe one of her personalities was talking to anthony and the other to jonathan j/k

GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
would like to know?
Posted: 10/15/2008 6:25:00 AM
Because in 10 past lives I was a man.....................So I'm qualified to post everywhere.............



PEACE


 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 28 (view)
 
I wanna get to know you...
Posted: 10/14/2008 3:33:31 PM
The thing is people today dont want to make compromises. Now if your the only one making compromises thats wrong .....but committment.....communication..and compromise are key to a good relationship. JMHO

But what do I know.I'm here on this site with everyone else.
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
I wanna get to know you...
Posted: 10/14/2008 3:10:48 PM
I dont think this can even apply in the world of internet dating. Read the testimonials . People are in love in two weeks and leaving the site riding into the sunset on their white horses. lol Instant gratification.........grrrrrr

Now go burn those statistics..........


I grew up thinking and knowing I would get married. Now its not even about dating , its about talking for 2 months meeting and "thinking" your in love.

People are people and everyones approach to committment is different. I never lived with my husband before marriage and was married 37 years. 36 years and 6 months too long according to some ,but I made it work. It 's about the effort put in....not about darn statistics.

PEACE ....... pretty moon......and Kyn ....you deserve the best.......
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
am I being unreasonable...
Posted: 10/14/2008 5:14:10 AM
Now wait a minute.....Does the guy just look disheveled or does he smell? There is a big difference. He may present the appearance when you see him that he is not CLEAN but that doesnt mean he isnt.

Some people just arent into impressing other with their dress. Other just dont know any better .....that doesnt mean they are not clean. We need more info.

In any event it sounds like you get along in so many ways, why not try to work on this one little problem.

Look,,,,,,in my mind you dont have much to lose by tactfully bringing this up......It bothers you to the point of bringing it to the forums, which means your probably going to end it if things dont change. So if he gets offended and stops seeing you its just ending sooner rather than later. BUT..If he is understanding and is willing to work with you on proper dress then you can work on the relationship.

Your 22..I have a 19 and 17 year old grandson....the 19 yr. old is a fashion plate....ironed clothes,hair just so....the other can get out of the shower, let his hair dry naturally, throw on whatever is nearby (yes it is clean) they are a contrast but BOTH are clean..one is just not neat lol And amazingly it is the younger one that has a gf. Go figure.........


GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 78 (view)
 
O.J. Simpson Found Guilty On All Counts
Posted: 10/13/2008 9:57:10 AM



If I were a betting person ... I would be taking bets on ....whether or not O.J. would commit suicide .... before sentencing.


He would never commit suicide. He's much too narccistic for that.
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Dealing with disfunctional family
Posted: 10/13/2008 9:52:43 AM
Hopefully by the time that comes up he will know you and you wont be judged by your family.

There is dyfunctional and then there is bizarre. If they fall under normal dyfunction then I would say who's family doesnt have some dysfunction.

Be honest and just tell him that you dont have a lot in common with your family. If you have any contact with family, eventually it will come to the point that they will meet them.


FOREWARNED IS FOREARMED...................


PEACE
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Sould I reveal to women that I'm part Native?
Posted: 10/12/2008 7:50:02 PM
I had to come back to this thread three times before I could finally post. I am also part NA and the thought would not even enter my mind not say who I am if asked. First it is only apart of who I am . And being NA or Scots-Irish doesnt define who I am. I AM PRETTY MOON, a multifaceted, multi talented woman.


PEACE
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
i need help
Posted: 10/12/2008 2:57:09 PM
Are you holding up your end of the conversation? And believe it or not.....most women dont want you agreeing with every thing they say. After your dating a bit you need to be inventive in your dates and conversation. Being a nice guy doesnt mean you have a sense of humor or a sparkling personality. Women like humor every now and then.



GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
How to let a guy down
Posted: 10/11/2008 5:31:13 PM
2 dates I doubt he'll be crushed. Your not teenagers so I'm sure he may be a little disappointed.....but crushed?

The best thing to do it just let him know that you think you are very different and he's really not what your looking for and you wish him well.

I dont know about you, but most people respect honesty.


GOOD LUCK
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Just Attraction vs Really Love...
Posted: 10/11/2008 5:48:44 AM
Attraction...wanting to be with someone for the wrong reasons

Love..wanting to be with someone because there isnt anywhere else you would rather be.
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
A love affair with substance
Posted: 10/11/2008 5:41:45 AM
Oh Boy....I was married to an alcholic for 37 years and would not recommend anyone stay in that situation. Although my husband was a very functional alcoholic(his work being one of his addictions) the family was never on the list of priorieties.

You cant change someone that doesnt want change. Work on yourself in getting strong to leave the relationship. As long as you stay and enable he will never seek the help he needs. Yout talk...he DOESNT listen.

You say you love him. I think you love what you wish he could be or once was. Look at the reality not the dream. Trust me things can only get worse. First your sad over the circumstances and then you become bitter and resentful. Finally you just dont care.

Please do what is right for you. He has to save himself you cant do that.

And by the way. a substance becomes abuse when it interferes with your relationships and every day life. Even if its just on weekends....When it becomes more important then the people your profess to care for its a problem. And to equate cooking or social drinking with addiction is ludicrous.


GOOD LUCK
 
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