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techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

what else are you doing to meet people beside online? Posted: 11/5/2009 9:29:59 PM
Another thing I like to do, and I absolutely love baseball, is to go to major league baseball games. Tons of guys there, and the ones that end up near me dont usually mind my sports enthusiasm :) . Its the only place, aside from a wealth seminar I went to, that I've ever seen a line for the mens room.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 44 (view)

fighting because of facebook..... Posted: 11/5/2009 8:11:26 PM
You're still talking with this gal? Amazing. Guy or girl reading this, I'd run the other way if anyone quizzed me like that.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 276 (view)

after 40 it is really hard to find a date Posted: 11/5/2009 7:29:50 PM
Scorpios? No, I've had the worst luck with those actually. And I already got a whole new wardrobe (dropped from a 14 to a 6 over about 18 months, so have pretty much all new clothes) and did the haircut thing. Good ideas though but looking for feedback from someone with a little more real-life and dating experience. That said, a new top can often spice the confidence up a bit.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

What are the rules about swapping phone numbers and making the first call? Posted: 11/5/2009 6:33:25 PM
I agree with "Only This"'s approach. If a guy really wants to talk with you, he will ask for your number. That is his sign of approval, and in my view it only works this way. Why would you want to talk with someone who won't ask for your number? If he is just trying it on, he'll give his out unsolicited. Me, I dont like that, because that assumes a lot and sets a bad precedent. Same with texting. You dont want to get in to a chain-reaction of texts. Who ever wanted that? And dont ever give yours out without him asking - you want to give it to someone who wants it right? As for calling first, he'll call you when he wants to talk with you. I've called first a few times where he offered his number (asks if he can give it, and I'd say ok) but he'd call each time after that.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 274 (view)

after 40 it is really hard to find a date Posted: 11/5/2009 6:01:33 PM
me I'm a very positive, outgoing, active, giving person - I even dropped to a size 6 and went to get a masters degree - and yet I still can't even seem to get a second word out of most people. With all the best will and intentions, I'm still trying to figure out why.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Is this guy legit or am I fantasizing? Techno nerds, also feel free to jump in!! :) Posted: 11/5/2009 5:48:25 PM
When people try to get me to message off site (the really weird ones ask if we can use Yahoo IM the 1st or 2nd message) I just tell them I prefer to use POF or they can call me. I would just stick to using the website messages if I were you. Why would someone who has virtually no chance of ever seeing you care so much about having your private email address?

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

what else are you doing to meet people beside online? Posted: 11/2/2009 6:05:41 PM
I go to meetups. In my area there are tons of singles meetups. Go to meetup dot com to check your area.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

so annoying..why do people do this? Posted: 11/1/2009 11:16:51 PM
Just remind him that exclusivity is a 2 way street. That if he wants you to commit to being exclusively with him, that you will do that at the time he does the same for you. If he wants it from you, he's going to have to give it. Simple as that. In the mean time, dont let him sap you of your happiness, and feel free to spend time with whoever you want.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 33 (view)

separated but still living together... to believe or not Posted: 10/30/2009 7:33:16 AM
I can see both sides. I've been the separated one and I've been the one to hear about someone else's situation. I dont think we can assume anyone is a liar. Just be cautious and do what you can to learn more about them and their situation.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 40 (view)

Borrowing money after 3 weeks Posted: 10/30/2009 7:23:12 AM
I am a strong woman in many ways, but I wont ever have the guts to ask anyone for money. Its just not right. The flip side of this is I dont give any money to people that I expect back. So unless its something I want to pay for or buy for them (and sometimes I do that in a relationship or family), I dont hand anyone cash.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 69 (view)

guy/girls who were cheap on date Posted: 10/30/2009 7:15:03 AM
Just because she had a $20 doesnt mean she had extra cash to do everthing else. Maybe she has to pay $15 for parking or some other expense before she got home?

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 65 (view)

When You Aren't Attracted to Someone Who Seems Perfect For You Posted: 10/30/2009 6:44:48 AM
I think we've all been there. But remember, looks change (usually get worse) over time, people's experience, internal qualities and values don't. We're all going to get old, gray and wrinkled. Also, as we get older we all get less fertile, so as time goes on and as we wait for perfection, that element becomes more removed also. Have we forgot why we call the man the "Groom" at a wedding? Because grooming is part of courtship. Grooming doesnt come without change. How would you feel after you had spent your time with someone who made you into a better person? Pretty amazing I bet. Hard to pass up isnt it? The chance to experience that doesnt come without prioritizing someone's internal values, and your closeness will develop over time. "Close" and "Intimate" with a stranger you just met 15 minutes ago? Asking for trouble and failiure. Honestly, how can you possibly know if you're right for someone that quick? If you base everything on perfect looks and sex the first meeting, chances are it will be a very very long time before you ever get to that point, probably longer than you have days left. I guess maybe I'm old fashioned like that, but old fashioned wasnt so bad in that respect when we consider how much longer people stayed together back then. They didnt get there by insisting on perfect looks and sex(ual desire) on first meeting. One of the qualities I value though is health and their attitude toward health, and a person's level of health can be evident in many ways without ever seeing their medical records. For me there's no mark for visual perfection but I can tell if someone pays attention to their health or not. Also beware of the person who likes you "alot" quickly -isnt that lust or infatuation?, its probably based on just looks and they have no clue how good or bad you are for them. Refresh back to the "looks get worse over the years" reminder, and maybe you can start to see what I mean, even if you don't agree :) .

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 225 (view)

what do men consider overweight? Posted: 10/29/2009 11:19:58 PM
Exciting1: "well, most of the men i know are in the southeast, and i totally am trying to make a move north. the social environment is a big factor. the guys that i've had the most success with have been from the north." I agree 100%. Replace "southeast" with "Texas" (or at least include it in the statement) and that's my experience. I am SOOOO moving back [north]east, where college educations and fitness are the standard. But lets not confuse being overweight with "failure". Look at Laura Bush..... I dont hear too many people criticizing her appearance.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 87 (view)

Single parent brag! Posted: 10/29/2009 11:00:07 PM
The 50/5o thing is only mandated in the 9 community property states. I can't wait to get my rear end out of Texas!

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 37 (view)

Does life really begin at 40?? Posted: 10/29/2009 10:54:16 PM
Mine will. Because I'll have my masters degree then, and be starting a new career and the only way for me is up. I have my eyes on my own health and prosperity. Anyone not with me will get left behind!

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 51 (view)

When is it okay to start having adult sleepovers? Posted: 10/27/2009 2:29:40 PM
I personally think 2 months is too early at the home of a kid. Besides the implications (with or w/o kids), why not pick a night your kid can be with a family member or your ex? Whatever you do, DO NOT live together anywhere until you have a paper commitment. Just IMHO, I wouldn't do it, and would advise against anyone else doing it, simply because you want to offer stability to your child/ren. My kids meet my friends as soon as they become my friends. I dont want my kids to be strangers to anyone that I meet or have as company, but I keep relationship things quiet and kosher til I know for sure if things are going further. I also use that time to see how they handle the kid issue.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 99 (view)

Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income Posted: 10/27/2009 2:08:03 PM
NEVER anyone abusive, I don't care what he makes. What people make changes throughout time, but people especially abusers don't change.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 81 (view)

Single parent brag! Posted: 10/27/2009 11:53:05 AM
Not everyone has a zero balance in the bank. Its called being sensible with cash and being ready for a recession.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 27 (view)

Is different taste in music enough for you to kill the second date? Posted: 10/27/2009 11:02:16 AM
No, and it would be immature (and certainly premature) to do so. Just because someone prefers a particular kind of music I dont that is not a problem, and should not be turned into one. However if someone blindly disses any kind of music, whether I like it or not, without knowing anything about that genre, then that kind of attitude would be a killer regardless if I liked that music or not. Even worse is a lack of willingness to appreciate it or learn about it. That ranks up there with insisting THEIR music is in the CD player all the time. Its all about maturity. Do you have it?

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 79 (view)

Single parent brag! Posted: 10/27/2009 10:47:56 AM
I pay all my own bills and all on time, manage my own 2 BR apartment, own my 2008 car outright, my son even said I do a "better" job of parenting and keeping things clean than his other parent (I dont even call him a "father" since he doesnt act like one or treat him like one), I will have an MISM degree in 18 months, and am a stay at home mom for the time being, all without ever asking anyone for a dime!

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 91 (view)

Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him? Posted: 10/23/2009 8:33:08 PM
I'm reading this coz I can never tell if a man expects a woman to earn more than he does (i.e. if she makes any less she must be a digger) or if its men and their egos are threatened by a woman who makes as much or more. I'm about to jump into the male-dominated IT field and take it by storm, so we shall see who's earning more........... On the men with/without money thing, if he has less that isnt the issue. If he's still working his way up or steady in his finances even with less, that's great. If he has less because he's been stupid about his money, well... then I can do better.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 38 (view)

Where and how to meet single parents Posted: 10/23/2009 8:02:05 PM
Old topic, new audience...... In a blinding flash of inspiration today, while out with my son, it occurred to me that I could meet parents of kids' my son's age when we are at.....Toys R Us! They even have it sectioned out by interest and approx. age, so if you see someone shopping Disney Princess, they're probably a parent of a young daughter. Of course, grandparents and family friends etc shop for gifts there too but think about it, dad with kid in the transformers section...I'm thinking is there any hardware on his left hand!

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 49 (view)

Internet vs. real life Posted: 10/19/2009 11:29:49 PM
Guys, I tell you a great place IRL to meet women is meetups. I dont know about your area, but in my area, the meetups are all 80%+ women. For me, its tiresome. For you its great! (the one exception, dont go to the sports meetups, as you can probably guess they're mostly guys. At the Patriots meetup I go to, I'm the only girl heh). To find meetups in your area, go to meetup dot com.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 22 (view)

How old is too old? (pictures) Posted: 10/19/2009 10:36:01 PM
I say its too old if you've changed visually in any noticeable way since the pic. This goes for guys as well as gals. Like if you've cut or grown your hair (or changed its color), or (for the guys) go shaven now instead of the old goatee you used to have, etc. Like I got braces since some of my photos were taken, but you really can't tell from the photos anyway. Generally, inside a year is a good guideline.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

In your early 30's do you find yourself being picky about looks? Posted: 10/19/2009 10:30:23 PM
I am more open than I used to be, but a few things still won't fly. Being unshaven, gut hanging over the belt, greasy/untrimmed hair, chewed fingernails, and missing teeth. Worse yet, evidence of your lunch on your shirt. That just shows that they flat out don't care. I prefer the tall, slender, clean-shaven type with even skin tone and short hair, but I consider whats in between based on what else there might be to offer.......

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Best ways to keep fit in the colder months Posted: 10/19/2009 5:34:31 PM
I use my mini barbell set ($50) for most of my workout time, and for the rest I vary it between exercise videos ($10 each), my trampoline ($30) resistance bands ($15), and short aerobic sessions with things like jacks or kickboxing. I do all of this without paying a dime for a hyped-up gym membership, and its more than adequate. I got all of my stuff at D!cks sporting goods, but you can get those same things other places.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Advice please on my core Posted: 10/19/2009 5:19:38 PM
Its your upper, middle and lower abs, and your obliques. Any kind of twisting motion exercise is going to target your obliques, among other areas less so. Balancing exercises are good for your core (one reason why yoga is so good) and also weight-bearing exercises - think kettlebells and barbells.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Vitamins making me sick...???? Posted: 10/19/2009 4:36:02 PM
My vits used to upset my stomach. But I figured out what the prob was. The prob wasnt that "taking vitamins is bad" or whatever. It was 2 things, one is that I had just switched from taking one multi a day to improving my regimen significantly with additions thru nutrition and exercise program advice, and I had introduced several new things at the same time. Not only that but I was taking them all at once after breakfast. So it was acting like an overload at one time. I didnt know then about spreading dosages out either, and now I break my vitamin "sessions" down to about 4 different times a day, a few at a time, and no probs since then.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 23 (view)

success stories with low carb diets Posted: 10/19/2009 4:26:05 PM
Do YOUR research and actually read my posts. Where did I ever say anything about avoiding complex carbs? I research a lot (a lot more than you do) and I was the one who mentioned the glycemic index in the thread. Read about it sometime. It might teach you something. Also, it is biological fact that all carbs are converted into simple blood sugar in the body. Hello! ever heard of glucose? No more than 30% of your food intake should come from carbs. You just can't accept that someone knows more than you. Stop trying to cause trouble.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

ACIA Berry Products Posted: 10/19/2009 4:20:23 PM
What's acia berry? (in just a moment this mesg will be long enough)

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 41 (view)

Internet vs. real life Posted: 10/19/2009 1:46:44 PM
OP - glad you got this topic going. I posted this exact same thread about 3 months ago and the hating forum nazis shot it down. Good on you. I keep my account on here to find out about events and as an additional avenue of communicaion and opportunity, but it would be a joke for me (or anyone) to depend on this as the only source of social contact. I personally love the lack of announcing up front just about every vital stat that real life brings.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

why waste your time with excuses? Posted: 10/18/2009 8:47:06 PM
I can take the truth anytime. I have a tendency to get pretty pissed or something similar when lied to (you obviously think that I'm worth taking the time to lie to, and dont take any account of your time wasted being rude to people. ). But usually momentarily after that, I disconnect the call, catch my breath back, and get on with other things.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 27 (view)

Full disclosure or learn as you go? Posted: 10/18/2009 8:37:07 PM
I go definitely for the learn as you go. Giving away too much too early doesn't leave anything for discovery.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 22 (view)

Books that helped you on your weight loss journey.... Posted: 10/18/2009 8:26:01 PM
Sugar Busters book, and YOU on a Diet CD's. The CD's are just classic. The book just isn't the same.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

success stories with low carb diets Posted: 10/18/2009 8:23:34 PM
It was not good. Removing sugar from your diet is good and best. Its how our leaner ancestors ate. Our lean ancestors didn't pile up on carbs, bread and sugars. We dont need those things. They ate mainly meats and produce.

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 49 (view)

Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not. Posted: 10/18/2009 8:19:18 PM
well if I were ever faced with a situation like that, I'd be getting them one of those electric nicotine things, anything to get the smoke out of my clothes and out of their breath!

techgirl27

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Some people really need to lay off the tanning beds! Posted: 10/18/2009 8:11:55 PM
I can't understand why anyone would want to look like shoe leather.

bassgirl747

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Late career starters Posted: 10/18/2009 3:31:41 PM
I don't think its out of line to expect to be in a full-fledged project management position within 3-5 years, but that doesnt come without doing some management beforehand. The beginning has to start SOMETIME. All those who have experience had their first opportunity somewhere. Is that out of line? And I certainly dont think volunteer work is out of line. At any time.

bassgirl747

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 87 (view)

Why don't men date single mothers...the answer Posted: 10/17/2009 11:59:55 PM
Where to start with the faults with the OP and his post ?? Remember, it takes two, so for every "loose" mother there is a "loose" father who has/had no better judgement. Your post screams "mysogyny" louder than everyone on the site can hear. Bitter perhaps? 1. No one asks you to do anything for their kids. You're not dating their kids. 2. Professional women (well, all women come to think of it) have "zero time" for people like you. Just because a kid is in a single parent household does not mean they "run the family". 3. Exes can be a problem no matter what the familial situation, so quit generalizing about single mothers. They're not the only ones with an ex. And just because a single woman has a kid does not mean that her ex is a problem. But It will be if you make it one. 4. Women the world around value their mothers and their contribution in their lives. If you can't respect that a woman has a close relationship with their mom (worse yet, if you end up getting close to a woman who has no relationship with their mom!) , then you should just quit dating. 5. Again, non-parents have exes too. You think childless women keep quiet all the time about their ex?? Dream on babe. 6. You dont know each and every person's situation. You dont know that they weren't in a commited relationship at the time. "Out of wedlock" so terrible, who gave you the priviledge of forcing your religious views on all women? And what about the MEN that contributed equally to said child out of wedlock? Oh wait, I forgot, nothing can be wrong with men right? They're not "selfish" or "irresponsible" for participating in the exact same act? Only women. Here we go with the men are "studs" if they fertilize as many women as possible, but the genuine women along the path automatically become "sluts" because they have t!ts instead of a d!ck. Grow up. 7. Kids of single moms are no less disciplined than of single dads, and certainly not more so than one where there might be 2 "adults" in the house. Many kids in 2 "parent" households have issues too, particularly if one is gone all the time. What if that 2 "parent" household isnt both biological parents? What if they live together but aren't married? Quit generalizing.

bassgirl747

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 125 (view)

At what age do you Just Give Up? Posted: 10/17/2009 11:16:30 PM
So I should compromise my self esteem and private intimacy just to get in bed with people that aren't going to commit to me anyway? I'm not prepared to spend the rest of my life being a toy for gigolos. Maybe in your age bracket you aren't willing to accept women with kids, but as you get older you'll realize that it will become harder and harder to find women who don't already have kids. You're going to make it very hard on yourself if you aren't willing to compromise. There are plenty of men who are willing to accept a woman for who they are, kids or not. Just looks like you aren't one of them.

bassgirl747

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Late career starters Posted: 10/17/2009 11:09:45 PM
I'm in grad school now for technology management. All I need to do is select one of those areas to take my last 4 classes in. I have some time yet. I'm aware that salaries rise with experience, and I'm willing to start out at ground zero (literally, as in volunteer somewhere to help them with a computer project) to get the ball rolling. I plan on getting a couple of certs too before I finish my masters program. Technical support, but as I got older I got more adept at things like hardware. I also see that advancement is limited in the support field, its management and administration that are going to yield more opportunities.

bassgirl747

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

He can't afford to date you! Posted: 10/17/2009 11:02:08 PM
I'm always thankful anytime anyone takes the time to meet me and spend time with me. They didn't HAVE to do that, and they did, so I always show I'm grateful whatever it is. But its nice to know my time is worth more than a $2 coffee.

bassgirl747

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 48 (view)

What would you think if dating never went expensive?? Posted: 10/17/2009 10:53:15 PM
Who said anything has to be expensive? Its only "expensive" for the guys that are afraid its going to cost them 2 cents. Which populate my area, dont know about yours. They are so scared of spending a dime that they wont go near anyone who makes less than them. Makin' it real hard on themselves considering the glass ceiling is pretty much here to stay. But, even with plenty of reasonably priced activities out there, if you aren't prepared to put down what its going to take to meet people, then stay home.

bassgirl747

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

why waste your time with excuses? Posted: 10/17/2009 10:46:24 PM
This is an open question to all, and NEVER a "redundant" subject except for those who aren't interested in civility. If you dont have something positive to contribute, skip a thread. What's your experience?

bassgirl747

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 42 (view)

The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover? Posted: 10/17/2009 10:42:28 PM
Uh..no. The quicker it is, the lousier the love will be, if there's any at all to be had. The longer it takes, the more passionate the wait, the more passionate the result.

bassgirl747

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

why waste your time with excuses? Posted: 10/17/2009 10:39:41 PM
This is for both men and women, and in an effort to increase the level of civility in meeting and dating. Why waste your time with lies and excuses? A few examples of a real waste of your time include: texting implying everything is OK with a meeting suggestion, even throughout the evening saying you're gonna meet, then say later you "fell asleep" and "I aint meetin no place like that" AND "I need verbal communication" (when they never bothered to call you) all in the same phone call after the fact. Or, Twice in an evening they check a time and place can meet you up, then half an hour after the last mesg, send another text (no bother to phone) saying they "have the flu". Why then waste your time trying to set something up with anyone if you have the flu then? We've all had similar experiences, but why waste your time with excuses and why not just say its not going to work out?

bassgirl747

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

Flue shots are more dangerous than the flu itself! Posted: 10/17/2009 10:24:56 PM
been drinking tea basically daily since I was 10 years old, sometimes in higher volumes than others. That might explain why I hardly ever get sick. That and I've always made sure I got my multi for the last 20 years. But one caveat to think about, why then in Britain where tea consumption is only exceeded by china and india, do people get ill so frequently? My theory is that India and China don't laden their diets with sugar the way the Brits and other westerners do.

bassgirl747

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Late career starters Posted: 10/17/2009 9:56:55 PM
Any late career starters here? How has it been for you? Did you find that you had to prove something extra over people 10-20 years younger than you competing for the same job? Or were you seen as more mature and ready for involvement? Also I'm still trying to consider a focus in either Project Management, Security, or Health I.S.M. Leaning toward project management as that can span more industries and just about any tech applicant is expected to be versed in security anyway, and it commands higher salaries.

bassgirl747

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

Dating After Divorce... Posted: 10/17/2009 9:47:23 PM
Hi OP - check your newspaper or meetup listings for a divorce recovery classe. You'll get to meet people in your same boat, and feel a lot more confident about getting your feet wet again. It helped me a lot, that and just being in social environments even if I didnt know anyone there yet.

bassgirl747

Joined: 9/5/2005

Msg: 122 (view)

At what age do you Just Give Up? Posted: 10/17/2009 9:33:16 PM
You know the old saying "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" well that doesnt work with me and a lot of women. Especially as we gain more self esteem as we get older. This cow comes with extra benefits on purchase . I won't give up my body for someone who's not said to me they're ready to give up looking around. Answer this one, do you REALLY want a relationship of any kind with a woman who will just say yes to anyone else who will? Didn't think so.

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