A well read man isn't necessarily an intelligent man chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: A well read man isn't necessarily an intelligent man

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 99 (view)

A well read man isn't necessarily an intelligent man Posted: 4/14/2009 9:19:27 PM
His command of the English language is impeccable however the statement he made about having no tolerance or patience for stupid people was ignorant in itself. I work with developmentally challenged adults who I would consider far more intelligent than the individual that made that statement. Was that statement ignorant by other people standards? Personally, I am disgusted by people who believe that because they hold a degree they are more intelligent than others. To judge a person by the degree they hold is ignorance in itself. There are all different types of intelligent people. Most people are not able to converse on every topic. For example, I consider myself intelligent, but I have no idea how to make repairs on a car. A lot depends on a person's willingness to ask questions and actually learn something new that makes them more intelligent. OP, as far as the developmentally challenged adults you work with, if they learn a new skill, then they have accomplished more than most. Many people take for granted things they have been taught since birth, but the adults you work with have to work that much harder at learning something.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

when everything about the person is a lie Posted: 4/14/2009 9:04:20 PM
How to believe someone about who they say they are? All you can do is proceed with caution. Chances of meeting someone like the guy you were seeing with all of those props are rare. Eventually, liars trip themselves up. They tell so many lies that they forget. Take your time getting to know someone.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

forgiving Posted: 4/14/2009 8:48:20 PM
Forgiving is one thing, but I'd never trust them again. Also, it's not very easy to forgive a betrayal. It's not as easy to forgive and forget as some people may think. You are better off walking away and starting over. When this person gets out of rehab, he will have a lot of life changes to make. You don't need to be his crutch.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 61 (view)

lingerie Posted: 4/5/2009 9:05:44 PM
I love sexy lingerie. Love the feel of it against my skin. Like the foreplay that usually occurs from wearing it for a man. When I wear it, I wear it for me. Not in a selfish view, but more of a feeling sexier confidence. however you seem to always get put in a naked situation when your wearing your worst pair of underwear. -to guarantee something is going to happan -make sure you wear your rattiest, most obnoxious or emberassing underwear when you think you may have a sure thing... Isn't it so true about the underwear "situation?" I will admit that I never wear sexy panties, more like just plain ones, when I am meeting someone. Even if the attraction is there, it puts on the mental brakes of acting on it. Now, if I had someone special in my life, that would be a whole other story.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 132 (view)

My Friend, Girlfriend was borne with a Mr. Winkler! Posted: 4/4/2009 9:07:43 PM
I doubt the parents forgot to tell about infertility...but...did they know? Her parents were told immediately, of course, of the condition of their new baby. But WHAT were they told? Were they told she would have infertility problems, or the possibility of? Angel: I don't know if you read my previous posts, but I share that I was a parent of a child born with ambiguous genitalia. Any way, we were told nothing about the possibility of future fertility problems. The surgeon said after surgery he would be able to function as a man. My son had a host of other physical problems he was born with, but at the time, his doctors felt he would live a full life span, but did not know what his mental or physical capabilities would be as he was already blind by the time he had this surgery. But again, I stress nothing was every mentioned about possible fertility problems. Just that after the surgery, he would be able to function as a man. However, that was also 20 years ago too. At that time, I don't think enough research had been done to determine what the potential may have been. Incidently, the surgery was a three-part procedure. He had his first at 6 months old and the second one seven months later. He passed away before the third surgery was performed. Maybe we would have learned more by then, but who knows? This woman's parents may have been told something like we were. That she would be able to function as a woman. Maybe nothing more was said at the time. I say that because if she was considering having a child and she and her boyfriend had been together for five years, chances are she would be older than my son (who would be 20 now) and maybe even less was known when she went through it.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 86 (view)

My Friend, Girlfriend was borne with a Mr. Winkler! Posted: 4/2/2009 9:28:25 PM
The point I'm trying to make is that she was born with a condition... A condition that was fixed when she was but months old, and so for her entire life she has been a complete woman, no more, no less. For him to react that way leads to the latter, because he knew her; and finding out about a prenatal condition like that shouldn't change his view enough to run him off like a chicken shit. Very well said Coffee! Very mature attitude for someone so young! You will make the girl who catches you very lucky!

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 70 (view)

My Friend, Girlfriend was borne with a Mr. Winkler! Posted: 4/2/2009 3:07:25 PM
This woman never visited a gynecologists a day in her life. She went throug her whole life menstrual cycle, puberty and all without getting a check up. This does not sound right to me. Allornana, think about what you've just written. Obviously, she was under a physician's care and she had periods to indicate she had a mentruation cycle. When you are at the gynochologist's office, they do NOT look at your ovaries unless you have internal ultrasounds for whatever reason because that is not a standard of a regular appointment. She obviously was willing to go through paternity testing to find the reason for her lack of getting pregnant. There was not enough scientific study done to determine whether fertility would be a factor at the time when the woman was an infant. Back then, doctors just did not know. BTW, from the OP's story, it is obvious that she no longer had any type of male genitalia, that it was removed as an infant. Maybe, for whatever reason, her parents did not share this information with her because they saw it as a birth defect that was repaired. This is not a hereditary condition. It could have been caused by something the mother was exposed to during pregnancy that didn't affect her but affected the fetus while developing. At least 20 years ago, that is what they told me.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

My Friend, Girlfriend was borne with a Mr. Winkler! Posted: 4/2/2009 12:21:32 PM
I'm going to give a whole new perspective on this angle from a parent's point of view: When I delivered my son (who passed away at 2 1/2 years old due to complications), they told me in the delivery room that I had a girl. Now, because of complications with my pregnancy many tests were performed prior to delivery. One of them was a chromosome study. It revealed I was having a boy. When they showed him to me, he had female genitalia so I thought they made a mistake on the chromosome test. While in recovery, they came in and said you don't have a girl, you have a boy. They repeated the test after birth. Needless to say, they could not tell what organs were inside. Hence we were referred to a pediatric eurologist out of town. We were not allowed to name our son because they needed to determine what organs were inside and which way the surgery would go so they could put a sex on his birth certificate. He was born in July and that December he had his surgery for his genitals. It turned out he had male organs and actually did have a penis but it did not break through the skin. His doctor felt th at he should be repaired to be able to function as a man if he had male organs. My husband (ex now) went in with the decision that whatever the doctor recommended is what we would do. Now, since our son was actually a boy, just needed to have the skin clipped away to bring out his penis, and drop his testicles into place and that is what the doctor decided. The point being, as a parent, I see no reason why there would have been a need to tell him. He was born a boy with male chromosomes and male organs. However, had they not done a chromosome study prior to his delivery, he most likely would have been raised as a girl and it wouldn't be until puberty until it was discovered.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

My Friend, Girlfriend was borne with a Mr. Winkler! Posted: 4/2/2009 7:28:09 AM
Sadly, these kinds of things happen. I'm sure it was a shock to your friend. Obviously, your friend's gf is a woman who was born with an abnormality, but that doesn't make her less of a woman. It probably never occurred to your friend that she just never thinks about it. She had the surgery when she was an infant to correct the problem. I'm sure they did chromosome studies on her and checked her interior organs to see whether she had ovaries or not. In the meantime, your friend has treated her like a freak. No wonder she is in a depression and seeking counseling. Obviously before this, they had a stable relationship if they were talking about and trying to have a baby. So what if she has fertility problems. They could always adopt or become foster parents.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

How can someone just give up on a good thing without reason? Posted: 3/31/2009 3:57:48 PM
OP, I feel for your situation. One of the cruelest things someone can do to a SO when breaking off a relationship is to be selfish and immature enough not to give the other person the closure they need. By closure, I mean a reason. This prolongs your heartache since you find yourself wondering. It does not sound like she was very stable emotionally. For someone to just ignore or be rude to someone they are involved with and then come back a day or two later like nothing happened is not a healthy trait. Her marriage only lasted a year and that should have been a huge red flag. Perhaps she was the reason they got divorced. Sorry for your pain. Keep your chin up.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Question of etiquette in society Posted: 3/31/2009 6:15:54 AM
There is a difference in bad manners and society social ettiquette. Society social ettiquette requires standards that are not for those of us considered the norm. Like using the proper fork, etc. I grew up learning proper social ettiquette. With that, everything is about appearance, protocol and knowing how to act in certain social circles. Now, bad manners is another story. Once went on a date and when the hostess came to seat us, my date walked off following her and left me while I was still getting my coat. Then there is ordering in restaurants where the server will be looking at the woman asking what she'd like and the man just jumps in to place his order. I appreciate manners, like having a door held open for me. I don't need someone to open my car door though. Or standing when introductions are made, whether it be a business or personal situation. That just shows respect for the person you are meeting.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

From sex to abstinance? Posted: 3/30/2009 5:20:18 PM
I worked with a couple who went through the same thing with him joining a new church, etc. Eventually, even though they weren't married, they decided that because they were in a committed relationship to each other, that it was okay. They are still together almost 8 years later.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

I've created an unhappy and whiny kid...now what do I do? Posted: 3/27/2009 6:27:43 AM
OP, start setting boundaries and limitations. Lay out the consequences of different actions/behaviors and the most important thing is to follow through. It is extremely hard being a single parent but you have to be strong. For example, tell him if he doesn't pick up his toys, then he wil have to sit in time-out in his room and still have to pick them up afterwards. When you are out shopping, do not give in to his whining about getting a toy. Nothing wrong with a little reward like a candy bar if he behaves. Do not give in to his tantrums. You have to learn to block them out. Eventually, if you are consistent with reenforcing your rules and punishments, he will start to get the picture. Kids are very good at manipulating their parents. Your son knows that if he whines long enough he will get what he wants. You need to take control now. Otherwise he will end up a kid that nobody wants to be around. He will not show respect for his teachers, classmates or their parents. As parents, we all make mistakes. It'll be hard, but stay strong! Good luck!

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Help! Is he more than just Cheap? Posted: 3/27/2009 6:10:27 AM
I can't stand people like him. He is cheap! Think about what a LTR would be like if you eventually married him. He would need to control the money and dole out an allowance to you as he deems fit. Now, saying that, truthfully, I have no problem with the idea of taking turns paying for a date, especially in the beginning. Like when you go to the movies, one can buy the tickets and the other the popcorn. Maybe it's just me, but I do not think it's right for one person to always have to foot the bill in dating. Or, maybe it's because I've never depended on anyone to support me and so when I go out, I'm prepared to contribute. For someone to split a bill right down the center including the amount owed for a tip drives me crazy. Does he calculate out what you ate and tell you what you owe too?

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 64 (view)

sex injuries? Posted: 3/26/2009 4:07:35 PM
I'll just say, stay away from warming massage oils!!!! Nothing like feeling like you're on fire from the inside out.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

happyness is just dating or is it long term that makes happyness Posted: 3/24/2009 6:32:55 PM
Happiness begins with yourself, but it doesn't mean you don't desire to date or have a long-term relationship. Many people seem to be happy just dating for now. They seem to like variety and lack of commitment. However, a couple weeks ago I came across someone who is older (about 66) who is alone and very lonely. I am a back-up bartender at a local VFW and I had this man sitting at the bar. Not only was he alone but he also is partially deaf. What made me really sad was he tried to pay me (as a tip) $11.00 just to stand there and talk to him. Well, at that point, the bar was pretty much empty except for a couple others. I told him to keep his money. I stood there and talked/listened to him anyway. I have way too much integrity to take advantage of someone. I actually felt like crying because I thought it was very sad. The man sitting next to him had just said earlier that evening that he was happy being single. I told that man he might want to revise his thoughts on being single forever because in 20 years that could be him trying to pay someone to talk to them. The point of the story: A person may think they are content to date for many years, but when you get to 66 years old and are alone due to lack of available/uncompatible mates because you weren't "ready" to be in a LTR, will you be the one trying to pay someone to talk to you?

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

presses up against me? Posted: 3/24/2009 6:37:27 AM
If I am trying to share something I don't necessarily want everyone to hear and I get too close where I rub up against them, it does not mean I'm doing it on purpose or that I'm trying to get their attention physically, especially if it is just a male friend. Sorry, being larger chested just happens to get in the way.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Would you want to be friends with girls you've gone out with? Posted: 3/21/2009 7:45:10 AM
It's a great concept and I'd say I'm friendly with ex-g/f's...but if it goes much beyond that it's amazing how easy it is to find yourseld naked in the shower afterwards thinking "How the heck did that happen?" Right about now, I wouldn't mind having to wonder that.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Strawberries and whipped cream Posted: 3/19/2009 1:30:25 PM
I should be f*cking, not pretending I'm on stage waiting for my next prop to be put into place. BigDaddy: It is more about being sensual during that session. Taking the time to enjoy each other, licking and tasting. Just enjoying.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Does biting hard enough to leave bruises constitute kinky? Posted: 3/19/2009 12:56:27 PM
Being as fair complected as I am, I bruise very easily. So, no, I don't think it would be "kinky" to me if someone nippled a bit and left a bruise. Saying that, I took a water-safety training class a couple years ago and when it was my assigned partner's turn to "rescue" me by holding my arms a certain way, though I didn't feel it at the time, the next day I actually had four fingertip marks/bruises on each arm where he was holding me.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Strawberries and whipped cream Posted: 3/19/2009 9:40:12 AM
Definitely whipped cream. Chocolate sauce, yum! Any type of fruit that is really juicy. Anything that can be licked off. When playing, the stickier the better.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

What's up with this and why did he send this to me? Posted: 3/19/2009 9:31:52 AM
What's the purpose of him bragging about a new gf? Why would he even care what his ex thinks? I'm thinking he's the one doing the pineing & feeling her out to see if she too still cares. I don't know whether he was "bragging" about seeing someone new. There was part of the email I left out with his description of her: ... fits "quite nice" To me, being described that way seems boring and like you've put on an old pair of shoes. I know I wouldn't want to be described that way by anyone, as I am too passionate about life, etc. JMO, but what do you think?

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

What's up with this and why did he send this to me? Posted: 3/19/2009 7:05:45 AM
SEX, Sweetie! It's about sex. Sorry to be so blunt, but that's the bottom line. You're doing the right thing by moving on. Stay strong! Navigator, I would rather you be blunt and honest with your opinion and I appreciate that. Will admit that he stirred up my feelings again, but am working on being strong. I'm definitely not into being a "revolving" partner for sex. Another question... Would you describe the woman you are seeing as fitting "quite nice"? To me, it seems boring and like you've put on an old pair of shoes. JMO, but what is yours?

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

What's up with this and why did he send this to me? Posted: 3/19/2009 6:25:30 AM
I had been seeing someone and there was great chemistry between us and I fell hard for him. Anyway, long story short, he dumped me. Since that time, I've been working through my feelings, and have been putting in a ton of hours working. I was feeling better and getting ready to put that chapter of my life away and move on, but then he sent me this email: Will admit there is a certain temptation to come see you. I am seeing someone else now, and am not the kind of person to "play" both sides. It's best we don't see each other in any capacity, don't think we would behave. So, I'm asking you guys, what the hell does this mean? He knows how I felt about him. Does this seem cruel to send this type of message? Now, I have to rebuild the defenses I put in place to guard my heart.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 590 (view)

I caught a women I've been sleeping with inserting my used condom inside her Posted: 3/18/2009 5:43:40 PM
what would i have done? shit i would been playing tug of war with that latex like my life depended on it. HELL NO! LMAO Had a mental image of that one. Seriously, what that woman did is just WRONG! I can't blame the OP for being upset. He had EVERY right to be in that situation. It's one thing if you use a condom and it breaks, but a whole other story to do what she did.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 106 (view)

A Kissing Primer - for guys or those who need it Posted: 3/18/2009 5:34:09 PM
now everybody just wants to get straight to the sex without any play or detours. A really good kisser gets a little more slack in consideration, than a fair to bad one, at least in my book. Sex without kissing is no good. If there is no passion and intamicy, then I'll opt for a good book, movie, or other event to entertain me. I don't know how anybody can have really good sex without kissing... It's essential. I couldn't live without it. I agree. Sex with no kissing is not good. Personally, I could just kiss for hours. Kissing is an art.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

When to approach the relationship talk Posted: 3/18/2009 2:36:18 PM
If you are having a sexual relationship with him, I believe you have the right to know if he is being exclusive, if nothing else, for health reasons. You're both adults and if you are having sex, then you should be able to talk about if either of you are seeing other people.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 77 (view)

is he hiding something? Posted: 3/18/2009 2:33:26 PM
Take things at your own pace until YOU feel secure and that you really know him. Probably not a great idea to move in together. Don't rush.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 113 (view)

Teenagers and cell phone pics Posted: 3/18/2009 9:30:36 AM
I've told them both if I find out they are running around banging anything that is willing I will beat them myself. Package: I really like the fact that you've drummed this into your sons' heads. It says a lot for your parenting skills! Wish more parents taught their kids the same way. However, I did have this mental image of you chasing your sons around the yard with a rolling pin in your hand and got a chuckle. While they certainly have time to change their minds, my 14-year-old seems to have taken this to heart. He is mature enough to not want a girl that will give it up to someone she has been "going with" for a week and again, while that one may change, plans to wait until he is 18 or older. Wouldn't it be nice if he really does that, sigh. My daughter, who is 16, has also taken a vow of chastity until she is at least 18, and yes, that makes me proud I've raised her with morals and values. Poor kid gets so nervous when her "crush" is near she can't even get a coherent sentence out. That says a lot as she talks ALL the time. At my daughter's high school, there are several girls who are either now pregnant or have already given birth to a baby. Sad, but true. It's scary because my daughter has just befriended a girl in her class, a junior, who already has a baby. Yikes! As much as we'd like to protect our kids and say, no you can't do things with her, I have to hope and pray that the way I've raised her will show through. Then again, on the other hand, withnessing first-hand the repercussions of having sex so young may just be the impetuous to keep her on the straight and narrow.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 108 (view)

Teenagers and cell phone pics Posted: 3/17/2009 8:24:15 PM
I wonder if the parents have really dealt with the problem of why this happened or are they now solely focused on the legal issues instead of figuring out why these young girls have so little respect for themselves or why boys don't object it seems in most cases, to receiving them? Package: You have a point about the parents needing to deal with the problem of the girls versus dealing with the legal ramifications. These girls obviously have very little respect for themselves and are in need of serious counseling. Truthfully, IMO, boys probably don't object to receiving them because they are young, hormonal kids. Does it make it right? No. However, even though I never had brothers, I can't imagine any boy not wanting to look at the picture or brag to his friends about it. Obviously, we all agree what happened was wrong. Granted, a boy broke a school rule by having his cell phone on in class, and it was correct the phone was confiscated per school rules. I'm not debating that issue nor that punishment. But all of these kids are minors, they did something VERY ignorant without thinking about the consequences, but to charge them is wrong. Yes, there should be consequences such as school suspension or something, but to charge them and potentially ruin their futures is going too far.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 102 (view)

Teenagers and cell phone pics Posted: 3/17/2009 8:57:06 AM
Now, that doesn't mean that I wouldn't hire a good attorney to be sure that the extenuating circumstances of the case were well documented & treated as such since the law he is accused of breaking was not designed for this type of situation. However, there's no way that I would ever condone illegal behavior. I do NOT condone illegal behavior either as I work in the legal field. You've finally admitted that the law was not designed for this type of situation. There is illegal behavior and then there is breaking a school rule (having the cell phone on in school). So, again, I ask you, Would you really want your child prosecuted for pornography under law in this type of situation? I could understand a school suspension. Now, if the boy took the magazine into school and got caught with it, then there would/should certainly be consequences. I'm sure it would be against school rules, but I don't know if there would be any legal ramifications from it? Per your own reasoning, Playboy is considered pornography. So in one case the kids should be prosecuted but in another they shouldn't? WOW, when has this ever happened? Even still, unless it's a picture from a kiddie porn magazine, I'm not sure how it would relate to this issue. Come to think of it, how would you ever think of such a deviant thing? All of that aside, if a kid was troubled enough to do something like that, the "victim" here would have to have broken the school rules in order for his phone to be searched so.... teach your kids to respect rules & laws and this will be a moot point. Don't be naive about the possibility of something like this happening. Don't underestimate the intelligence or maliciousness of some kids. I'm not talking about a picture from that type of magazine. I'm talking about an adult magazine. I seriously doubt that Van Gogh & da Vinci painted nudes for the sexual thrill. If you remember your history correctly, it was not until years LATER that their art was appreciated as art. Their works were considered scandalous while these artists were alive.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 99 (view)

Teenagers and cell phone pics Posted: 3/17/2009 6:00:17 AM
So, if a teenage boy is caught looking at his father's Playboy magazine should he be prosecuted? How would that be Playboy's fault?? It was his FATHER who allowed him (intentionally or not) access to it. So, essentially, you're saying the teenage boy's FATHER should be prosecuted because his son may have looked at his Playboy and someone found out? Nudity in true art is not intended to cause sexual excitement or to arouse a quick intense emotional reactions (sexually) - which is the definition of pornography. Are you positive about this? Artists portray the human body as art and beautiful, but on a subconscious level, you cannot say that the artist does not have an ulterior motive, can you? Apparently, artists of nudes think the female body should be worshipped and appreciated not hidden away as if dirty. As a parent, I can understand backing the school in taking away a kid's cell phone if using it during school hours. However, I cannot condone these kids facing charges. If you are the father you claim to be, then I cannot imagine you standing by while one of your kids is charged with a crime over something, even though idiotic and poor judgment, as this. Further, think about the repercussions of what prosecuting these kids could be. What about the kids who are angry at someone, snap a picture from a "girly" magazine and then send it to the kid they are mad at, but then report that kid has pornography on their phone. Yes, kids can be evil and malicious too.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 94 (view)

Teenagers and cell phone pics Posted: 3/16/2009 5:42:56 PM
You mean that if your daughter deliberately broke school rules about cell phones, you'd fight it? I mean, THAT'S what started this whole debacle. ONE kid who couldn't abide by a simple rule in the school's handbook. So, what would that teach your child? Wouldn't it teach her that it's OK to disrespect rules and if she gets caught, you'd condone her wrong behavior and fight it? I have no problem with the school taking the phone away from the kid. I've warned my daughter that I would not go get her phone if she had it taken away at school. There is a HUGE difference between having having a phone taken away and being charged with pornography. Did the boy solicit the pictures from his girlfriend? Probably not. Teenage girls can be very forward now a days. So, if a teenage boy is caught looking at his father's Playboy magazine should he be prosecuted? Should these kids really have a label attached to their names for the rest of their lives? Huh? Definition from Webster's: 1 : the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement 2 : material (as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement 3 : the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction So posing nude for a picture is erotic behavior? Were the girls groping themselves for these pictures? Were they performing eroctic acts for these pictures? These girls took the pictures themselves. Nobody forced or coerced these girls to do this. If nude pictures of the female body isn't pornography.... what is?? Granted, there are works of art depicting similar images, etc., but I guarantee that these girls didn't take these picture with artistic intentions.ced these girls to do this. So, according to you, Playboy should be considered pornography. You have women posing nude with the intent to sell sex creating sexual excitement in men. So, every man who has ever jacked off to a Playboy magazine should consider themselves looking at pornography and therefore are voyeurs. Have you ever looked at Playboy? If so, then you are looking at pornography by your own definition. What about museums? Should people under 18 not be allowed to enter museums that have nude paintings? What about Greek statues? Some of the ones I've seen could be considered pornographic. What about the mother who breastfeeds her baby even if she has a blanket covering her? For the record, I abhor the idea of child pornography! With that being said, sadly, Americans have gone overboard on the issues of nakedness and the human body and it's made out to be a dirty thing. While it's okay for men to walk around without shirts, it's a crime if a woman should want to exercise the same right. Why? Men have breasts and nipples just like women do. Don't use the excuse of sexual stimulation because I would argue that point that there are gay men who might be turned on by looking at a man's chest. In parts of Africa, women walk around topless all the time, but since there a women's breasts are viewed for the nutrition they provide to their young. However, they are not allowed to show their legs as it is considered sexually explicit.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 92 (view)

Teenagers and cell phone pics Posted: 3/16/2009 2:37:38 PM
The mother of one boy is considering fighting all charges Personally, I think I may be tempted to fight the charges too. The girls sent the pictures. What normal teenage boy is going to erase a nude picture of his girlfriend? This is not pornagraphy. This is just kids being stupid. I think it's enough that they have to face embarassment for their stupidity.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

Teenage Shooting Sprees Posted: 3/15/2009 8:08:58 AM
How would you like it if some one listed as a possibility that may have contributed to the killing as a strong love of or beliefe in god? As I see what goes on in the world, that is the more likely possibility. Freetime: There is no doubt that some people use religious beliefs as an EXCUSE for what they do. However, that does not mean they are right. No religion condones mass murder. Those that hide behind this are fanatics and have most likely been brain-washed into believing what they do. It is still an excuse. People are taught right from wrong. They know what they are doing is wrong. Yet they hide behind religion in an attempt to justify what they are doing.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 216 (view)

do I cheat after almost 20 years? Posted: 3/14/2009 6:41:44 PM
OP, try to find a way to bring the romance back into your relationship. Set up a date night for just the two of you. Send the girls out to their friends' houses for the night and plan a seduction. I'm sure you'll both feel better after. If that doesn't work, try a counselor. If he isn't willing to go to couples counseling, go by yourself. It sounds like your relationship has become stagnate and needs to be reborn.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

Teenage Shooting Sprees Posted: 3/14/2009 5:06:36 PM
My daughter is only 3, so I would have to wait and see if I'd want her to go to public school, it depends on the environment and the background of the school. I agree,that parents should teach their kids about protecting themselves and knowing self defense. Wanderbaby: I went to private Catholic schools and a shooting occurred in my high school. I was less than 20-25 feet away from the shooter when it happened. Keep in mind that private schools have their own share of troubles too. In my area, all of the high schools had reputations for certain things: drugs, violence, teenage pregnancies, etc. My school was known as the "drug" school. Why? Because the students who attended came from families who had money. It was as simple as that. It was not uncommon to see kids getting high in their cars in the parking lot before school. Was even at a house party of one of the kids whose older brother had friends there and they were shooting up heroine. When I saw that, I told my friend we were leaving. Annon: I suspect you used the phrase "fear of God" as an expression of kids not being afraid of the consequences, not in a religious way. Freetime: I did a bit of research myself on the statistics of violence in schools. IES did a national statistic about the violence in schools. According to their post, there is no difference in the percentage of crimes in school today than in the 1970s. Also, I spoke with a Criminal Felony Judge and though she couldn't comment on the statistics of national crime, she concurred that crime in my area, especially violent crime, is definitely up. I also read a posting from a NYC newspaper about the statistics of crime being down in the high schools. Even though they have been reported as being down, these statistcs have had their accuracy questioned because the schools need to list the types of crimes or something along those lines and they were not. NYC high schools are supervised by the police, but their violent crimes are still very high according to the article.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Long lost father signed away his rights; now wants to re-connect with our daughter. Posted: 3/13/2009 8:25:51 AM
OP, my suggestion would be to talk to your child's grief counselor and get their opinion on whether it would be a positive or negative in her life right now. I'm sorry for your loss.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Teenage Shooting Sprees Posted: 3/12/2009 1:17:55 PM
What is really scary is that a 15 yr old and 17 yr old took a gun into school last week where my daughter goes...and there are some people that say " well we dont think they had any intentions of doing anything at the school".......WHAT????? why in the world would a child take a weapon to school.....there is so much violence these days it makes you afraid to even send your child to school.....things are ridiculous....... Very scary situation cogie36! The attitude of "we don't think they had any intentions..." is like trying to play down the situation. The fact is, they took a weapon to school, regardless if it was loaded or not. If the gun would have been loaded would they have said, "Thank goodness we found it before anything happened." Hopefully, those kids will be sent to juvenile for a long time and receive serious counseling. I have no pity for them and there is probably a good chance the 17 year old will be charged as an adult, which they should be. Those kids knew the rules and yet they broke them and should be made accountable for their actions. Tougher stances need to be taken with these kids who think they are such bad-asses.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

Teenage Shooting Sprees Posted: 3/12/2009 1:06:16 PM
Nobody even bothered to mention the mentality, leading to or from quality of parenting that i mentioned either which was part of my hypothesis. I believe I mentioned in an earlier post about people not noticing neurotic bahaviors before these events occur. Part of the problem is that some parents are in denial that their kids may need some type of psyciatric care. They tell themselves that it will get better and everything will turn out okay. They do not want to have their child labeled with some type of psychiatric illness, so therefore, they ignore it. This does mean a kid is less than intelligent. These are intelligent kids who do this and they do have the ability to reason out what they are doing. You cannot protect children from everything and you certainly cannot protect them from random acts of violence or even true accidents. The best thing you can do is teach them to think for themselves and teach them how to listen to their bodies because our ability to sense danger is often socialized out of us. I agree. I've done my best to teach my daughter to always be aware of her environment and what is going on around her. with respect to your questions about the metal detectors, the answer is no. If they are used all the time the kids find ways to get around them. I had never thought of the kids getting used to them. I like the idea of using metal detectors sporatically. If the schools are creating an environment where kids are safe and are not afraid of each other, weapons aren't present. I don't think it is a matter of kids bringing weapons to school to feel safe. The majority of the time when a kid brings a gun to school it is gang-related, at least here. Not only have they found guns, they've also found knives in middle schools when they've done random searches. A year ago a middle school kid committed suicide. He was the most popular kid in school To be the most "popular kid" in school is a lot of pressure to live under. Especially if his parents put additional pressure on him to excel in academics or sports. When kids live under that type of pressure, a lot of the time they are the ones who SNAP. It's a sad situation but I'd be thanking my lucky stars that he only took his own life and not went on a shooting spree at your kids' school. I don't see the need to believe the earth is round, because as I walk around every day it looks flat to me. May be you live in an area were things are different then the national trends, or may be you just want to believe what you want to believe. Free: Because I question the accuracy of the statistics you quoted, it is not necessary to mock or insult me. As a matter of fact, we just had a violent occurrence where I work happen today. Two families got into a scuffle and one of the family members pulled a knife. I work in a secured location where people must pass through metal detectors due to threats and vilence. Not the most brilliant place to pull out a weapon as the place is crawling with cops. As I've previously stated, perhaps your statistics are from select areas of the nation, maybe rural communities not bigger cities where crime and violence is more prevalent.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Teenage Shooting Sprees Posted: 3/12/2009 9:29:28 AM
Freetime: I work in law so I see way more than most people. Again, I challenge whether your statistics are truly accurate. Any agency can spout statistics to appease the public. It's pretty sad but my county has even had to set up a Truancy Court because of the increase of truancy cases in schools, whether they be drop-outs or just skipping school. A local law was also passed not long ago that the parents of these teens can be held responsible and prosecuted. I support Sir's theory about the lack of two-parent families and the quality of parenting as for a possible reason of these masss shootings in schools. I'm not sure I can remember hearing of any mass shootings in schools before the 1980s. Drugs are VERY prevalent in my county. Maybe the use of marijuana is "down" but hard-core drug use has increased dramatically. That is why there are established Drug Courts. Those are the only types of cases that are heard. The dockets for Drug Courts are so jam packed they are overflowing. So, I don't need to read statistics of violence, drug use, teenage pregnancies, etc. because I witness every day the increase of all of these. Again, the organizations citing their statistics may only be focusing on specific target areas.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Mum of 2 kids 24/7 - no family near and ex choosen to forget them. Will I find love? Posted: 3/12/2009 6:41:21 AM
OP, what I don't understand is with the oldest being almost 14, why you would even need a babysitter to go out for a few hours? When I was 11, I was already babysitting other people's kids. If you've raised your kids to be so dependent upon you without being able to make simple decisions, they will soon be in a world of hurt. They will have an extremely difficult time adjusting as they go on in society. BTW, I do not consider sibling arguing a good reason not to be able to leave them on their own for a few hours.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Teenage Shooting Sprees Posted: 3/12/2009 6:33:42 AM
Freetime: You can quote all the statistics you want, but do you really believe these organizations will admit that they may have failed? Guess what? They fail and there goes their government funding. Has it ever occurred to you that only certain "areas" are in the statistics? Where once before, a homicide in my city would have been an occasional thing (maybe 7 a year) and was shocking to hear about, now we have them every week and people have quit being shocked. In the Chicago area, I believe they have an average of two homicides a day. Violence is way up in my area also. It is not unheard of to have weekly stabbings.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

kiss? Posted: 3/11/2009 7:24:13 PM
I have male friends that we'll exchange a quick peck on the lips and it does not mean more than that. It kind of depends on the type of person you are or he is. Some people express friendship with hugs and/or a little peck. It does not mean either of you are hitting on each other. It's another form of affection. The majority of people I will only give a hug, but when you've been long-time friends it's a little different. As far as texting daily, I don't know what to tell you.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Teenage Shooting Sprees Posted: 3/11/2009 5:46:17 PM
In the past there were 2 parent families as the norm. Now not all families were ideal, and there was a lot of abuse I'm sure of it but so be it. I think on the face of it the nuclear family had the time to take Jimmy to his ball game and Susie to her recital, and actually talk during dinner. Sir, you've made an excellent point about there being way more 2 parent families 20 years ago and how there was time to take the kids to their extra-curricular activities. My dad was my softball coach and my mom used to keep score at the games. I can actually remember being in the car on the way to my game and my mother was feeding one of my MUCH younger sisters baby food in the car on the way there because she never would have missed a game. As far as dinners went, we always sat at the dining room table without the tv going and discussed our days or whatever may be coming up. As a single parent, I've never missed anything my daughter's been in, whether it be dance and I coached her cheerleading team for two years. It's always been very important to me to incorporate family things in our lives. Take the lack of parenting time and quality, take the mental anguish add them together It is true that lack of and quality of parenting time will alienate kids. I did a research paper in college on kids and gangs, and spent a lot of time researching sources, including interviewing a police detective from the gang task force. What I learned was astonishing! Many of the young kids who join street gangs come from single parent homes. The highest number of kids joining gangs belonged to white kids. These kids are looking for a "family" and they are enticed into joining on the premise of being part of a family so they feel like they belong. They prove their loyalty by committing crimes, whether it be dealing drugs or making a "hit." Times are scary for our kids! We, as parents, need to encourage our kids rather than run down their esteem. Does it really matter if your kid only scores 10 points in a basketball game instead of 20? Freetime: I totally disagree with you about the statistics of crime, teenage pregnancy and drug use decreasing. In fact, with the way the economy, I predict that crime will start skyrocketing. The use of heroine is making a HUGE comeback in major cities and it has filtered into the high schools. I see too many pregnant teens in my position that I would argue about those statistics. My daughter is a junior in high school and she recently had to work on a school project with a girl in her class. The girl already has a baby and is the same age as my daughter.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Teenage Shooting Sprees Posted: 3/11/2009 2:41:26 PM
Totally agree, Windroper, about equating bullies into future abusers/criminals. Did your experience have any kind of effect on you? Were you close to the action? Way back when, those were such isolated incidents when they occurred. Now they seem to be prominent. I agree that a huge part of the problem is from parents not really disciplining their kids. While I don't agree with beating your kids, I see nothing wrong with a good ass-whipping if they deserve it. I went to Catholic schools and let me tell you, the nuns had no problem whipping out a yardstick to give you a smack. Yes, in 4th grade I was whispering on the carpet during story hour. The nun who was our teacher made me go up in front of the class and smacked my bare calf with the yardstick. Do I feel like I was abused? Hell, no, but I learned to accept and respect authority very quickly. Now, a kid acts up in class and there is virtually NOTHING a teacher or principal can do about it. Sorry, I don't see anything wrong with a little healthy fear of consequences for our actions.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Teenage Shooting Sprees Posted: 3/11/2009 1:01:20 PM
Being bullied does not excuse doing something like this! That is a cop-out excuse. There are tons of people who have been bullied at some point in their life, but don't go on shooting sprees. Personally, I'm getting pretty tired of using that as an excuse for any crime that someone commits! I'd rather see these people off themselves rather than destroy so many families! The two stories I wrote about the shooters had graduated from high school. So, they cannot use lack of education as an excuse. The shooting at the college near me last year was done by a graduate student. Look at what happened at MIT. It is not a matter of them not knowing right from wrong. It seems to be a matter of controlled anger and premeditated planning. I can't believe that these people did not show some type of neurotic behavior before these incidents occurred. In the case of the shooting where I went to high school, the shooter showed his friends the gun that morning and told them what he was going to do. Unfortunately, none of the so-called friends wanted to "rat" him out. Again, I ask you parents, does it make you worry for your child(ren)'s safety when they go to school? Do you have any suggestions or opinions of what measures schools should take to protect kids?

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Teenage Shooting Sprees Posted: 3/11/2009 11:23:08 AM
Freetime, Sorry, I thought I had read that he was a teen. Thank you for correcting my mistake.

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Aquarium for a first date? Posted: 3/11/2009 9:24:00 AM
Actually, I think it is a pretty cool idea for a first date. Good luck!

TeresaP1020

Joined: 6/30/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

a new relationship with an ex? Posted: 3/11/2009 9:19:25 AM
OP, first, have you thought about putting on some clothes for your profile picture? I'm sure if your ex was interested and saw your profile, then that would quash any interest.

Show ALL Forums