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Thread: Filing for divorce.....should i tell him?

Joined: 7/1/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Filing for divorce.....should i tell him? Posted: 1/30/2009 11:49:08 PM
Sweet# I would say, its about time you let go. This man has clearly made a choice. Get rid of the name, get rid of the photos, get rid of the letters, get rid of the man, get rid of everything you possess about him and start again. And definately don't be fussed about telling him, anyway its my hunch he won't care. So wash your hands of it now once and for all. As the saying goes, there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Joined: 7/1/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

That weird moment of first meeting Posted: 8/12/2008 7:53:21 PM
Renaissance Man # Well done, it would appear you have got this whole on-line dating experience summed up to a T. The experiences you have described could just as easily be applied to me, despite it must be said, you appearing to be doing considerably better. One thing on which I can definately vouch with you on is what a long, drawn out and at times tedious this whole on-line dating process can be, and in most instances even getting to the stage of a first date holds few real guarantee that you have finally met with success. But I suppose there is little to be gained from moaning about it, because these days for an increasing number of people, it is their only real means of meeting new people. That said, where I think on-line dating is the most crucially handicapped is with regards to the largely sub-conscious processes of chemical attraction. e.g With the conventional non-internet means of initial introduction you are for example in a bar or nightclub, you catch sight of a girl/guy you quite like the look of, then start to read off from their body language and physical attitude whether or not they like you. Again the crucial point is that much of this interaction appears to happen sub-consciously without our having to work at it, think about it, or in some cases know its happening, it just happens. In this respect on line will always be harder because the attraction process does not happen automatically without our even having to think about it, on the contrary we have to persue, beguile, coax, write clever e-mails and otherwise jump up and down to get yourself noticed - - Its just hard work

Joined: 7/1/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

Expectations? Posted: 7/19/2008 2:29:23 AM
23# From my experience I think thats easier said than done, especially when you state what your looking for. Whenever I date, there always seems to be that clause at the back of my mind that says your here for a particular reason, other than to just enjoy the view. It seems unavoidable.

Joined: 7/1/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Expectations? Posted: 7/19/2008 1:18:38 AM
I agree with you, but I think a lot of this perceived fussiness stems from illusions that places like this create in giving you the impression, that you can meet/have exactly the kind of person you want. While that may seem plausible in theory, in reality I suspect finding such people so perfectly tailored to our desires is like waiting for that one in a million, who never actually appears. it amazes me how many people are prepared to resign themselves to singledom, seemingly forever, in the belief that their mr/miss right is out and that eventually they will be found, but will they? In my experience those people wait forever. They just will not except 2nd best, will not except any compromise on their expectations. Not a bad thing if thats how you prefer to be....but.

Joined: 7/1/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

It's the little things... Posted: 7/12/2008 1:02:14 AM
I tend to do all those sort of things out of the blue, but only since I discovered how much those little things mean. If I see something I think a partner would like and hopefully appreciate, I would often just buy it and give it to her. Normally, it would be relatively cheap things like jewellery, or a nice watch or a bottle of perfume. I can't really see why you have to wait for birthdays, christmas's and Valentines, to show that your always thinking of them, even when your out and about. It means the world to some, it really does.

Joined: 7/1/2008

Msg: 335 (view)

The instant chemistry demand Posted: 7/8/2008 2:40:50 PM
Some very good observations and I think what they seem to show (for me at least) is that the basic laws of attraction are pre-defined, in a way that has probably existed since the year dot, during the many thousands of years of our evolution from primitive ape. Although I will agree that currency of attraction might include several different qualities for us today, arranged in a variety of computations, with even some yet working at the sub-conscious level, I think these qualities will always be arranged within an order that nearly always places physical attractiveness at the very top. This I believe is then followed in decending order by other more cerebral aspects of attraction that people are often want to assert are most important to them as individuals, which I'am sure they may well be provided the benefit to them of having a person with these secondary qualities are sufficient to make up for the/any shortfall in the primary quality which I believe is and will always be of physical attractiveness.

Joined: 7/1/2008

Msg: 392 (view)

18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man? Posted: 7/5/2008 4:32:58 AM
Thats a 22 year age difference - Sounds a bit barmy if you ask me. Opens up the potential for a great deal of complication as the year progresses, not least because when the husband collects his pension the girl will be 43.

Joined: 7/1/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

He's found someone else now wants to be bestfriends with me. Posted: 7/5/2008 4:20:58 AM
If I was you I would get as far as possible from this one as I could get. Sadly a lot of people are only to willing to pretend they still need you when in truth they don't. But it probably works for them to keep as many options open as possible. Waiting to see what happens next is a mugs game IMO , if someone else is chosen in preference to you that should be the end of it, and if someone puts or finds themselves in the position that they have to choose between someone else and you that should also be the end of it.

Joined: 7/1/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

One Rule For Men and One Rule For Women Posted: 7/5/2008 4:05:09 AM
I think its a problem particularly inherent with on-line dating. If you've a long list of girls or guys showing interest, as many people will have, it considerably complicates making a definate decision because people naturally look for the best they can get, and you'd have to date each one to know that, so many people do, they simply cannot decide.

Joined: 7/1/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

Can POF dates lead to exclusive long term relationship? Posted: 7/5/2008 3:49:54 AM
On-line dating sites seem to present people with as many dilemas as they solve in my opinion. If you are lucky enough to find someone here or elsewhere on line, I think if you are genuine about commitment, it is probably best for both parties to cease use of such sites, because of the potential and opportunity for straying that continued use poses, regardless of assurances to the contrary. IMO, if the price is right most people can be tempted, men and women alike.

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