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Thread: Anyone got back with their EX before??

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 186 (view)

Anyone got back with their EX before?? Posted: 3/18/2009 9:04:01 AM
Common sense would dictate that going back is not a good plan. Less than 10% of broken relationships restart and even then the chances of success second time around are pretty dire. BUT I now believe in miracles and if your true unconditional love is strong enough then yes a broken relationship could be mended. I realise that I could be in a minority of one here on this website but if my ex came through my door tomorrow I would throw my arms around her and take each day at a time, such is my undying love for her.

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Whats the craziest thing you have done to impress your new partner ? Posted: 3/12/2009 5:34:26 PM
I want to impress a potential new ladyfriend /partner and feel the need to get her attention in a fairly big way. Whats the biggest / unusual and/or most amusing thing you have to impress a new partner ?

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

When they don;t want to see you anymore! Posted: 3/2/2009 8:48:30 AM
In my experience it is now a lot easier to start a relationship than to finish one. Very few people seem to have the personal skills, considerations and communication necessary to end a relationship in a caring & understanding way. Facebook is another problem and again there are people who just not stop to think about they are doing either by cutting out a partner or by displaying very pesonal texts on their profiles. If your partner has ended your relationship thoughlessly just accept that for what it is and in truth it sounds as though you are well out of it .......

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 597 (view)

What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship? Posted: 10/16/2008 6:50:39 AM
I fell head over heals with a beautiful woman with two young children ( and whose exhusband would stop over in her house to babysit)... Lesson no 1 - the kids will always come first Lesson no 2 - she still had big feelings for her exhusband..... Spencer

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Have you ever had a very big bust up with a partner and then got back together again successfully ? Posted: 10/16/2008 5:52:32 AM
I am constantly surprised at the various experiences & depth of knowledge that members of POF show & the overwhelming sense of wanting to help & assist others. I get the feeling whatever question you had there would be s0meone out there wanting to share experiences & with helpful advice.

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Have you ever had a very big bust up with a partner and then got back together again successfully ? Posted: 10/16/2008 5:03:12 AM
Have you ever been in the situation where your partner has unilaterally decided to end a good loving relationship (whilst you wanted it to continue it) , and then you have been able to restart it again ? If this was the case what timescales were involved and what was the key to getting back together? Were you or your expartner the main mover in mending the relationship ? Did your expartner have a change of mind and how were you able to forgive him/her for any hurt. Was the relationship the same when it restarted or was it totally different ? Spencer

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 71 (view)

How do I stop thinking about my expartner ? Posted: 10/1/2008 3:49:28 AM
Thanks for your comments & having looked at your profile & occupation I understand more about your thoughts. I tried to email you.. Spencer

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 137 (view)

Yet another damn reason why i hate dating Posted: 9/27/2008 5:24:28 AM
I love dating & meeting people - the interesting thing is that you can never be totally sure about what will happen. I met so many great ladies with a lot of stories to tell - mostly good ones..... Have fun Spencer

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Is meeting your true love destiny or personal choice ? Posted: 9/27/2008 5:17:04 AM
I always used to think that life was all about personal choice but I have had a number of very strange experiences in meeting new partners over the past year that just seem to part of some grand plan. I am now of the view that there is in fact such a thing as destiny and there is far more to life than science can explain, particularly when it comes to meeting people and finding new partners / lovers. Spencer

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 63 (view)

How do I stop thinking about my expartner ? Posted: 9/26/2008 7:55:50 AM
Absolutely right ! How can you say goodbye to someone you have truly loved ? Answer - you can't. Your past loving experience stays with you, whatever new relationships you may enter into in the future. Your feelings for your exlove just becomes part of you, however deep down you may wish to bury them... Treasure the good bits & dump all the hurt & upset. Just remember how good it can be. Spencer

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

Here's the answer Posted: 9/26/2008 3:41:22 AM
Thanks again every one for so much genuine & sincere help with this... Leaving aside some of the points - the best advice is when you start to think about your lost love & hurt etc just repeat over & over as many times as you need - LET IT GO, LET IT GO. Think also about your lost love and NOT the person that you are trying to get over.... I promise you it works... Spencer

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

How do I stop thinking about my expartner ? Posted: 9/23/2008 2:29:30 AM
Thanks to everyone for taking the time to reply to my question. One lady in particular who emailed directly - I owe her a huge debt of thanks. In my journey through life the big that I have learned lately is that you can control how you feel from day to day and however sad one may be there are so many people with much worse stories to tell and I have every reason to be thankful for the experiences that I have had... take care all.. Spencer

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

What am i doing wrong Posted: 9/22/2008 11:37:22 AM
Its largely a numbers game and a matter of good fortune. Be positive, be happy & confident in yourself and let that show in your profile & how you communicate. Be patient, consistent & take your time. I am not sure about your second picture... take care Spencer

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

How do I stop thinking about my expartner ? Posted: 9/22/2008 11:31:50 AM
I have a bit of a problem in trying to 'move on'..... I found my true love and had a completely fantastic incredible three month relationship ; sadly she ended the relationship extremely suddenly & totally unepexectedly with a text message four months ago, on the basis that she had no emetional connection with me. We did the friends thing for a while, I tried everything I could to win her back, all to no avail. I was in tears for weeks. She now has a new partner and so do I. I think about her all the time, every day. I have taken up marathon running, done hypnotherapy, and had counselling. I do various other sports, squash , waterskiing, motorbiking, you name; I travel a lot, I keep very busy and am so lucky to have a new loving girlfriend ....but my expartner is always always on my mind and I would have her back tomorrow given the chance. What the heck do I do ??? I was hoping that time would heal things but thats not happening. I am just completely infatuated. Any suggestions welcome....

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ? Posted: 8/5/2008 1:21:54 PM
If you have recently met someone and have started what seems to be a loving, trusting & caring relationship how long does it take to know that it will last indefinitely ? At what point can you be sure that both of you are committed to a very longterm relationship ? What signs are there or timescales that you can use to know that you really have found your new partner in life ?

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Do women normally fall in love very quickly ? Posted: 8/5/2008 1:17:03 PM
Do most women fall in love very quickly with a new partner or can love be absent at first, developing strongly over time ? Is it usual for women to feel love straight away at the very start of a relationship for their new partner ?

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Do all women have to be in love for a relationship to last ? Posted: 8/5/2008 1:11:29 PM
Do all women seek to be in love with their partner to ensure that a relationship will last or do some women accept that they are not in love but still chose to persist with a relationship that is still otherwise very fulfilling ?

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Please Reveiw my profile? Posted: 7/31/2008 1:56:26 PM
Your headline is not good & needs changing. The body of your text is rambling & could do with some simplification. You middle picture does not display well. Good luck !! Spencer

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

profile review please! Posted: 7/31/2008 1:52:41 PM
Your main theme is that of being 'a lad' ; this I think would be a major turnoff for women. Your pictures too are not very themed or 'warm'. Think advert - what makes you so different from everyone else ? What fine features do you possess that make you attractive as a potential partner ? Spencer

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

High level of energy over 50. Posted: 7/31/2008 1:41:24 PM
Indugle yourself in your desires & fantasies. Write down what you really would like from life , what really pushes all your buttons and see where that takes you. Find out what really motivates you, what really gives you a buzz and gets you on a high, and you will find no end of energy within yourself. Sell the TV. get out & enjoy everything, be a doer, not a spectator.... Spencer

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

How do I win back my perfect partner & soulmate ? Posted: 7/30/2008 3:10:05 PM
Wow , what can I say, so much advice & views I am embarrassed, so many people taking so much effort & time to help out. Thanks to you all... Taking the overall consensus - I will get on with my life, move on, & hope to find a new love ( which I am already working on).. But if my exladyfriend gets in touch thats fine, but I will not contact her. However in addition she will get each valentines day ( also the anniversary of our first meeting ) flowers plus an invitation to dinner/lunch ; if in the meantime I find someone else then of course my loyalty with lie with my new partner. BUT - having read similar stories, take heed everyone & be protective of your feelings; it seems easier for us to start relationships & we are not always good at bringing them to a close.... take care Spencer

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

How do I win back my perfect partner & soulmate ? Posted: 7/30/2008 10:49:20 AM
Question for the ladies really & forgive me if I seem a hopeless romantic.... I found my true love & soulmate & we went out / dated for three glorious months. We made love, stayed in hotels, cuddled, dined out, went out to the theatre, walked & talked. A perfect relationship & we matched in every possible way. It ended very suddenly with a text & email. We did the friends thing; I tried every possible way to keep her. She says she ended our relationship because she did not love me but I know that is not the case, not because of the big things we did but the constant daily emails & texts and the way that we were just so happy together. The real reason that she ended it was because of her unfinished emotions for her husband who left her three years ago and her strong need to make sure that her two children are always first & foremost in her life. Her strong emotions & feelings for me were conflicting with her role as mother and a drain on her limited available time. Our breakup was very very messy & a total disaster. Tears for both of us. Upset & grief. I am no longer in touch with her and yet deep down I still want her back ( somehow..).. What do I do ? Nothing ? in the hope she will take up my existing invitation to get in touch when she wants ? Send her flowers regularly ? Send her little notes reconfirming my love for her ? Any suggestions would be welcome...I am not in a rush & feel certain at some stage, when her children are grown , may be years from now that she may change her mind....

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

How can you tell if your partner is really in love with you ? Posted: 7/25/2008 4:07:19 PM
I had a fantastic three month relationship with a simply gorgeous lovely lady that I met. Our friendship and lovelife blossomed from week to week. It was perfect. We dated, went to theatres, pubs, live music, dinner dates, we walked we talked. We held hands, we cuddled on her sofa , we stayed overnight in hotels, we made passionate love. We texted daily, we sent each other emails constantly, we instant messaged late into the night. Our sex was simply to die for; everything and more that you could dream of. Then she sent a text one evening to say that she did not love me and therefore it was best to draw the relationship to a close to avoid hurting me later. How is it possible to build such a wonderful relationship over that peiod of time with someone you know to be loving , only to find that she was able simply to terminate it without notice ? I believe that in fact we did have a loving relationship but she simply chose to end it for other reasons, hoping to end it on a high note to preserve her happy memories.

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 70 (view)

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DUMPED VIA EMAIL?? Posted: 7/13/2008 1:36:22 PM
Yep - a fantastic three month relationship with the love of my life and then a text message and then email from her to end it overnight. The most unkind and hurtful thing that has ever happened to me, still can't believe that someone who was so loving & kind to me would do that - be warned...

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

Any 'westerner' had a relationship with a chinese girl? Posted: 7/13/2008 1:30:05 PM
China is just huge and many chinese in the cities are very western in their lifestyle & expectations; on the other hand there are many rural chinese who are just the opposite. Generally the Chinese culture is to be admired & respected ; traditonal, family orientated, entrepreneurial & very industrious. My Chinese lady friend was just to die for very ambitious, hard working & well travelled. Very loyal, honest & straight forward , very refeshing compared o many western ladies I have known....

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Review my profile please Posted: 7/13/2008 12:53:42 PM
I would revisit your photographs - may be some shots of you relaxed, smiling, in a preferred outdoor location or two, not the frontal protraits . I would remove the sunset pictures. You need to state your interests and remove the 'ask me' question. One question to answer - what make you different from other people ? Your text still does not quite clearly say what sort of person you are looking for. Hope this helps Spencer

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 192 (view)

Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive? Posted: 7/12/2008 5:34:32 PM
I have been internet dating now for 12 months ; on the whole I have met some very nice ladies and had some good times. However in the last few months it has become a rollercoaster experience and there has been a great deal of sadness too. My lessons are You need to be protective of yourself Relationships are much easier to start than to finish Many people internet dating may well be say in their 40's & 50's but if they have had a very long marriage in reality they are relatively inexperienced at dating Even the seemingly perfect partner can hurt you unexpectedly - you hurt the ones you love. So yes learn to be self supportive - keep your friends close to you & always live for the moment more & be careful about your expectations for the future of any relationship. People do not mean to hurt those that they have loved or been close to - its more that they are not experienced in winding down / closing a relationship whilst having regard for the feelings of the other party. Spencer

Joined: 7/4/2008

Msg: 56 (view)

Every waking hour Posted: 7/12/2008 5:10:57 PM
Just going through my divorce, the end of a 25 year marriage and I found my first true love in February this year. Couldn't believe it ; at last I was happy & had truly found my new partner and solumate. She was blonde, size 10, fun, sexy, loving & crazy. Everything I could possibly want. My world was complete. We were togther for three months, a perfect relationship in every way; think the film - nine & a half weeks. Extreme passion, continuous dating, rock concerts, theatre, hotel rooms, everything that makes a womderful new loving friendship with added excitement ..... May 5th 9pm she sends me a text from out of the blue - she wants to end our relationship. May 6th 9am - an email - she does not love me & does not want to hurt me or cause me pain in the future so wants to finish it. She doubts her love for me. After three months - this was long enough for her to know that our relationship was not going to last. I know this is not true - her constant daily texting & the look in her eye when we made love told me that it was a true loving relationship. I feel rejected & hurt, and still do.... I cried for weeks. I will never ever get over losing her..... Every waking hour I have found heaven and been right there The smell of your perfume and the feel of your hair. I thought heaven was just a story and in time and space very far away But I found it in you; in what you do for me and the little things you say. But you do love me and adore me of that I am sure But you doubt yourself and want something more. Please grow to trust me and a new future you will begin to see What we had was just so pure and perfect for you and me. Injured and confused but deep down I will be strong and for a while I will wait A life without you simply a thought too far , too harsh a fate. Every waking hour, every moment of every day, Reminders of our love and passion that won’t go away. My love for you, distance and time will not fade nor heal It will always be endless and part of me and how I feel

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