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 Author Thread: Are there friend zone indicators?
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Are there friend zone indicators?
Posted: 5/16/2013 2:32:39 PM
Thanks everybody for your input.

Reading the posts, seems like there really are slightly different views by the different genders, interesting.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Are there friend zone indicators?
Posted: 5/15/2013 7:06:57 AM
Recently we had a discussion within a group of friends about the good old friend zone topic.

One single guy mentioned he feels like he's always the confidant of the females in his life, be it co-workers or women he meets socially, they always seem to confide in him about all sorts of personal and professional issues.

Now he, along with most guys in our group interpreted this in a way that he's always the friend zoned one, while most women in our group were of the opinion that this is not an indication of him being friend zoned but rather that the women who confide in him feel comfortable and at ease with him.

Which leaves me wondering now whether there are any gender specific indicators regarding the friend zone issue?

What are the thoughts/ideas among the forum participants?

Thanks for your input.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
FWB and new BF
Posted: 5/14/2013 3:09:35 PM
Well, that's a bit of a tough one...... especially as his reply was totally non committal.

Generally for me personally, friends (real friends, not social friends/party buddies) come first, and as you seem to have a good friend in this guy, I would not stop spending time with this friend.

But then again, I do not give a new b/f a detailed recap of my personal past, i.e. that the MBF is also an occasional FWB. I believe telling him you had an FWB thingy is perfectly sufficient once it is not continuing while you are with the b/f behind his back.

As the worst case scenario would be your new B/F opting out, try figure out what would be the lesser of the evils for you, not spending time with your long time friend or maybe losing the new B/F.

Good luck!
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 69 (view)
 
My Boyfriend's Dog
Posted: 5/10/2013 7:28:29 AM
Never had this particular experience, but have encountered many out of control dogs in various settings. Being a dog lover myself, even breeding dogs at one time, I can only tell you that in these cases the problem is always the owner, not the dog.

Especially with these small toy breeds clueless owners neglect proper training from early puppy age on, often times out of a misguided sense of dog love, not realizing they are not doing even the dog any favour (and much less themselves). Then later on once the dog is fully grown they are all surprised when they realize the dog controls them and runs their life, instead of the owner controlling the dog.

PROPER dog training is fun for the dogs as well as the owner. The puppy enjoys the interaction, the attention they are getting, think of quality time with the owner, but again provided it's done properly.

If your boyfriends dog is no longer a puppy, the only solution is a professional dog trainer, as he is obviously not capable or willing to work with his dog and properly train him.

Good luck!
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Relocating For The Over 45 Crowd.....
Posted: 5/4/2013 1:29:31 PM
That's not a simple yes or no issue, as I would relocate only if the new location would suit me independently from the "real deal".

E.g. even for the "realest deal" I would not move back again to a cold climate, neither would I move to any Islamic nation where a woman is not allowed to even drive by herself to the supermarket, or to any nation under a dictatorship where you have to fear death penalty simply for speaking out about certain matters.

Meaning, beside the "real deal" I have to be comfy with the new location.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Something that started so casually....
Posted: 5/4/2013 1:12:24 PM
Why do so many posters here feel the need to comment negatively on this thread?

Does it matter whether you would categorize it as a relationship, an FWB thingy or whatever and what the future may hold? As long as two people are happy and content with what they have shouldn't it be all good? Can't you all just be happy for the OP?

I really find it refreshing to read of positive experiences here. You go girl!
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
New to rough sex.
Posted: 4/21/2013 4:37:48 PM
OP, if the idea is not a total turn off for you to the point where you are losing it, just give it a try, she asked for it after all. Do it playful, no brute force and maybe you'll discover that her enjoying it passionately will even be a turn on for you?

A "transition" can only take place by trying things out with an open mind.

Have fun!
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Women Pushing 40...Or Over
Posted: 4/16/2013 3:26:03 PM
Being easy to scam has not much to do with options, but everything with a lack of common sense and street smartness.

Therefore I would think women around 40 should really be able to spot a scam when they see it. But then again, there are obviously some women who have lived a very "sheltered adulthood" and might still be as naive as they were with 20, and maybe even less street smart as some 20 years old.

As for marriage and children? Most women around 40 have been there, done that and would at that stage rather enjoy life i/o taking on (again) additional responsibilities.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 84 (view)
 
Has this ever happened to you? Disgusted. Long
Posted: 4/16/2013 1:24:43 PM
Welcome to online dating! People misrepresenting themselves in their profiles is obviously pretty common.

And yes, it happened to me 2 times, the respective guys trying to pass off themselves as athletic an upon showing up looking anything but, sporting some very unsightly bellies, despite pics.

Unlike you though, I called them out on their deception i/o rewarding them with a free meal (more comfort food of all things, smile).
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Is it not cool these days to go against the Grain???
Posted: 4/16/2013 12:22:13 PM
OP, I'm not quits sure what you're trying to get at with your post.

You're not a 20 something year old college kid anymore but should have found your way and yourself by now, meaning standing way above peer pressure.

Ok, granted in the professional world one has to be diplomatic and play along at times for career reasons, but learn to draw the line and don't let this influence your personal life too much.

Saying, don't like gym, sports or clubs? Don't go, fill your sparse spare time with things you enjoy doing. Don't want kids? Don't have any and make sure to use condoms every time so not to be "tricked".

It's your life, live it as you please and let others live theirs.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
How do you view relationships and intamcey?
Posted: 4/16/2013 12:02:00 PM
OP, everybody has their preferences/criteria and is perfectly entitled to it, so who is to say what is right or wrong for you except you, yourself?

Just be clear about the fact that the more preferences and criteria, the smaller your dating pool.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
so here is my problem
Posted: 4/12/2013 6:58:57 AM
At least she let you know, so nothing wrong with acknowledging her message and adding to let you know once she's ready to meet.

With that the ball is in her court, just don't keep your hopes to high for that meeting to ever materialize.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Poly and small towns?
Posted: 4/12/2013 6:42:08 AM
Reality is: Small places breed small minds! Believe me, I know what I'm talking about after almost 20 years on a small island.

And don't delude yourself, the mind set within these "small places" won't change in the foreseeable future, as small minds are most resistant to changes (think weed and weed killers, smile), therefore the only thing that comes to mind is for you to move if your area is too restrictive to live happily.

Good luck!
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Girl finds sexual activity nasty...
Posted: 4/11/2013 1:48:15 PM
OP, suggest you approach this with extreme caution, there are red flags all over.

- As some other posters have pointed out, she might be using you for her legal status in the US

- If at 25 years she believes sex to be something nasty, stands to reason whether her view is ever going to change, and how long that will take?

Even if her intentions are not influenced by her legal status, would you (at 28) be willing to have a relationship with someone who might (or might not) have sex with you, but still won't be able to really enjoy it?

Honestly, I would opt out of it entirely due to incompatibility.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
 
performance anxiety for women
Posted: 4/9/2013 4:43:42 PM
It’s a well known fact that first time sex with a new partner can be tricky and is hardly ever perfect, but that is not to be confused with performance anxiety.

And no, I honestly can not recall having suffered performance anxiety, as sex is for me not about “performing” but about fun and games, maximizing the mutual physical pleasures.

The key is communication, verbal and non-verbal.

So, he was too rough for you, maybe his last lover liked it rough, who knows?

You asked him to be more gentle, which was still too rough for you. Now, instead of “suffering in silence”, you should have spoken up again, and again if necessary, and if all verbal attempts failed, shown him how you like it. Men are not mind readers and rough/gentle are very relative terms.

Communication is the key, and men are very appreciative of their woman communicating what she likes and how she likes it, provided it’s done in a sexy and nicely.

So, next time around you speak up, nicely, breathily whispering in his ear that is, smile, and if he’s not a total klutz you guys will get there next time around.

Good luck!
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 36 (view)
 
So....How many of you actually meet someone IRL from here?
Posted: 4/8/2013 4:12:03 PM
When still looking, I actually met with a few off here in person, but the experience never warranted more than 1 or 2 meets max......... All the nice, interesting and fun people I meet here via the forums are not local.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Men over 50 and sex
Posted: 4/7/2013 1:19:01 PM
OP, I can sooooo feel for you, but rather found my dilemma as a local problem here in Jamaica. The local guys here are as of their mid 40s usually physically grossly out of shape with considerable bellies and as of their 50s additionally mentally so jaded that they are no fun to be around, much less when it comes to sex.

I've never been to your town, but honestly have not found this problem as drastic in NYC or FL e.g. and especially not in north and middle Europe.

But if it is as bad at your end as it is here, you better get used to dating younger, i/o frustrating yourself with the search for the needle in the hay stack, smile.


Good luck!
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/7/2013 12:57:56 PM
OP, I do go entirely with charliesmom21 on this issue.

It's not the particular profession or any particular formal education, but compatibility and common grounds and with that outlook on life and lifestyle.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
gym help please
Posted: 4/6/2013 2:53:30 PM
Once weight loss is your main goal, I'd suggest you start with aerobics classes. Most gyms offer a variety of different classes. Kick boxing, step aerobics, body sculpt and cross training classes offer excellent cardio workout with the big advantage of changing moves over repetitive moves like running and/or cycling.

But please don't delude yourself, for actually losing weight in a healthy and sustainable way you've gotta include eating habits/nutrition etc.

As for the machines get a trainer, tell him your goals and let him show you what to do and how to do it. Especially if you work with free weights, it's best to have trainer show you and check your posture etc so you don't hurt yourself.

And the most important thing is, have fun!
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
How long to wait
Posted: 4/5/2013 3:10:04 PM
OP, if she's anywhere within a 1hr drive radius, there should have been an opportunity for a quick meet and greet at least within 2 month were she interested.

So, If your respective locations are within reasonable driving time, seems like she is stringing you along. Caring for you and not wanting to lose you w/o even having met yet does not sound quite right either.

Don't let that confuse you and explore other options.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Not attracted physically
Posted: 4/5/2013 2:56:05 PM
OP, first off, does not sound like you've fallen in love with "her", her as the entire package, mind, body soul. You've fallen in love with her mind.

Now that is truly a tough one, been in that situation myself once, luckily only once. The perfect guy for me, except physically. He was considerably overweight (more than double my weight) so even had he started working out and losing weight, it would have taken about a year done healthy. Sadly, I could not go through with it, as I had too much respect for him to string him along.....

You however pinned it down on her unkempt appearance and body type. While appearance, clothes, make up, hair, now is something that can be easily changed, losing excess weight is not a quick fix once done healthy and sustainable, as that requires a complete lifestyle change.

My advice therefore would be to consider carefully whether you think you could go ahead with her once the quick fixes were taken care of and she would start working on that excess weight.

As some other posters have pointed out, do a make over, and maybe start a workout program and get in shape together? Going by your pics you could lose some excess lbs yourself, so it would not even come across as offensive if you suggested it.

Just make sure to have considered every possible angle before you make a decision!

Good luck!
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 32 (view)
 
I was wondering when you get the feeling that you're being taken for granted
Posted: 4/5/2013 1:59:03 PM
If you mean by feeling taken for granted feeling not being appreciated, it's usually a sign that something you want out of the relationship is missing. Therefore, especially if it's a new thing, speak up, the other person is not a mind reader.

It's only fair to let the other one know and give them a chance. It's sometimes little things that may be important for one person while the other person was really clueless.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
What Underwear Drives Him Wild
Posted: 4/5/2013 6:23:30 AM
What a question........ Fetishes aside, it generally is anything that looks hot on a woman, smile, which naturally varies with skin tone and body type.

But in my experience it is not the "underwear" that drives him wild, lingerie is only the icing on the cake.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 62 (view)
 
I can hear my roommate and his gf have sex, what should I do?
Posted: 4/4/2013 3:29:29 PM
Geez OP, you're planning on moving anyways in a few months, so make friends with earplugs. At first they can be a bit irritating, so I suggest you start using them on quiet nights when you're really tired until getting used to it.

Or even better, invite a g/f over for these nights? Then you all can have a pizza party afterwards......... which btw really hits the spot after some exhausting quality sex, especially with extra cheese, smile.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
When guy's underwear is a turn off.
Posted: 4/4/2013 2:14:16 PM
Although there are certain (joke) theories around about what type of man wears what kind of underwear, I really don't care that much, as long as it's clean!!! that is, smile, though I prefer boxers.

A total turn off would be a g-string or girls panties which I've luckily never encountered, so not sure what my reaction would be beside some naturally humorous yet snide remark. The rest would most likely depend on his reply/reaction to that remark.

Batman boxers now would rather indicate a sense of humor on his side than being a turn off for me. Hey, if he really has a good sense of humor, these Batman's might even be the inspiration for some good fun and games........

Saying it depends more on the person than the underwear......... as long as it's fun, it's all good (except that dicey g-string thingy, smile).
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
What would you do?
Posted: 4/3/2013 2:19:47 PM
OP, the one person taken advantage off here is you. You're the only one working, and on your day off cleaning the house while everybody else is out with your car?

Children having children w/o any means to take care of them.......... shoot this irresponsible breeding is always a sure fire recipe for disaster, with the children being the innocent victims.

For you though OP, it's time to put a foot down and establish some ground rules for your parasites there, like house cleaning is done by those who do NOT work.

As for your son, maybe ask him how he sees the relationship, whether he is actually happy, what is this all for him? Honestly not sure whether it would be wise to tell him about the discovery.... he's still soooo vulnerable at that age, and obviously still has no concept of the realities of life. Maybe this is where you could start with him, try to open his teenager eyes to those realities of life? Get him to think about the situation, his future and the future prospects of the relationship realistically, w/o bringing up that letter directly?

Good luck with whatever you decide.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
How valued are men?
Posted: 4/3/2013 1:47:38 PM
OP, if you reduce men to sperm donors for a simply procreational purpose, then yes, with all advances in medical science, men may soon become obsolete, smile!

 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Do all women over 50 cringe when they hear the word SEX !!
Posted: 4/3/2013 1:36:16 PM
OP, all I've ever heard from post menopausal women is that the sex drive goes sky rocketing.....

Your post reads like you're regularly encountering women who seem to experience the opposite with you being the common denominator........... maybe think about what type of women you are attracted to?

Maybe they simply don't find you physically desirable?
If you feel a woman trades sex for being "wined and dined" then she clearly is not attracted to you, but to the "dine and wine" thingy.

And for heaven's sake, stop expecting sex in exchange for "wining and dining" them, as frankly, if a woman really has the hots for you, sex would not be used as a bargaining chip.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 139 (view)
 
Do you believe in this saying?
Posted: 4/2/2013 2:25:00 PM
I do definitely agree with the statement, but then again concede.......... you really gotta have the right partner. Fun and games can become a problem once the partners are not on the same level.

ForRumOnly said it best in post 132 (once again)!!!
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Long Distance
Posted: 4/2/2013 2:16:27 PM
1 hr drive really does not qualify as long distance IMHO.

Ever thought of meeting 1/2 way for that spontaneous drink or dinner? That would translate to 1/2 hr drive each way for both, which is definitely not excessive in any larger city.

I've had this situation more than once, and it really has never been a problem.

As for the kids, they are teenagers......... priorities are changing from weekends with daddy to hanging out with friends/parties etc. So, even if the weekend visit is planned, once something more interesting comes up, of course they don't want to miss out on an event everybody is talking about next week at school. That's something he will learn in time.

So, overall and provided everything else is good with the two of you, I'd think it's worth it working around the kiddies issue.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Seeking real help, please...
Posted: 3/30/2013 7:54:06 AM
Spookey, as some others have pointed out, your profile pics are not actually flattering.

How about a make over?

Recently a g/f and I watched that show "What not to wear" and both of us were amazed at what "miracles" professional make up and hairdressing can work.

Not saying to go on that show, but find a good make up professional/hairdresser and see what they can do for you?

Additionally, if your weight is troubling you, get rid of the excess. But that one is to tackle only for yourself, as it's not as easily done as make up and hair, it is a lifestyle change! Which btw might be good for you???
Ok, as someone who never had any weight issues (except when it's dropping below 125lbs), I'm probably not the one to talk, as it would all be 2nd hand, but you can look up professional fitness coaches (i/o life coaches) to talk to and see what they can tell you.

Good luck!

 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Would you hire a escort to gain sexual experience
Posted: 3/29/2013 5:06:05 PM
Ok, I'm not a guy, definitely not condemning prostitution (in fact I'm pro legalizing it), and neither do I think it is a necessarily bad idea for a guy to lose his virginity with a prostitute if he feels too nervous or too overwhelmed by performance anxiety to do it with any non-professional woman who naturally might have certain "expectations".

That said, your post does not sound like it would be the right thing for you.

a. You are not considering this because you find it interesting/tempting/appealing or whatever, but because of some perceived outside pressure,

b. you believe prostitution to be something "bad".

With these two factors in combined it stands to reason whether you would be actually enjoying the experience.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Confused On Relationship
Posted: 3/29/2013 3:04:53 PM
OP, I do not see any contradictions in the copied part of the email.

She has some hopeful image that something will happen in the future............ is poorly chosen wording, and may cross her mind in the moments she misses you.

Missing someone is normal after a break up, and immediately afterwards she says she's no interest in working things out.

Look at it realistically, she is not willing to work on things and if not working on things, meaning actively pursuing, nothing will "just happen".

You've read this email with a certain perception and are now projecting, interpreting 2 ill advised wordings on her part with wishful thinking.

Sorry, but the only answer I can come up with is accept that it's over and concentrate your efforts on how to deal with the matter of her going to have a child by you.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 112 (view)
 
Cheating...forgive?
Posted: 3/29/2013 2:45:56 PM
OP, forgiving and trying again with him are two separate issues.

Forgiving is something you have to do, most and foremost for yourself. Carrying a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other one to die.

Whether to try again with him, well, after how it has been going I don't think I would. Not so much because of the cheating, which you said he told you about right away, but because of his alcohol problem, which he obviously can not control (yet). You wrote he turns into a different person............ and implied that you were ready to break it up anyhow.

Good luck.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 75 (view)
 
How can BOB replace a man?
Posted: 3/29/2013 6:49:29 AM
Sounds like the OP is jealous???? Did his g/f "replace" him with her BOB?

The BOB is neither your enemy nor a rival, it can not replace a man, smile. It's not a replacement but an enhancing addition to the fun and games aspect of things.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Guys that shaved their arms and back...what do you think?
Posted: 3/28/2013 10:37:32 AM
This thread seems to be getting "spirited", interesting.

How boringly simple that would make things were players, serial daters and/or liars (wondering whether secretly gay was forgotten here) to be recognized that easily, simply by being well groomed! LOL.

Athletes aside, for all other guys it boils down to esthetics: While some amount of hair on the male body is sexy as it simply is masculine, I would not want to get naked with a guy sporting that furry look, i.e. hairy back, butt and underarm hair long enough be braided into little dreadlocks.

 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Talking with two guys
Posted: 3/28/2013 10:10:43 AM
I call this a troll post.

Checking the OPs profile, pics in combination with "wants to date but nothing serious" the posted question is utter b/s.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 3/28/2013 9:56:24 AM
I draw the line at anything that is potentially painful, harmful to ones health and/or injury inflicting.
Additionally not even up for discussion is anything that involves children and/or animals.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
How to handle these requests...
Posted: 3/26/2013 2:44:04 PM
OP, once the conversation takes a turn towards anything you find inappropriate and/or nasty, tell them immediately in no uncertain terms what they can do to themselves and remember though to block them right away, phone number and email. You would not believe how many guys get off on being told off, smile, and then you won't see the end of it.

DO NOT accommodate that behavior with polite replies, like "not getting ahead of things", "it's a little early to talk about this", etc.

You don't have to delete your profile right away, but if you're getting too much unpleasant attention on a certain site and it becomes annoying, then consider it.

Online dating is a jungle, stick to your guns girl!
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Hmmm red flag ?
Posted: 3/26/2013 2:15:24 PM
What does it say in her profile, is she looking for intimate encounter?

And even if it's that what the two of you are looking for, I would still tread with caution, which is not paranoia after all.

Ok, I'm a woman, but how about suggesting to meet for a coffee on neutral grounds first?
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Insensitive or just trying to help?
Posted: 3/26/2013 2:10:02 PM
That is not even insensitive, it is disrespectful, condescending and downright rude.

Seems like a total control freak, who's trying to establish his imagined supremacy with putting you down very early on.

Girl, you can do better than that.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Differences.
Posted: 3/25/2013 3:00:06 PM
OP, first off, in the dating world never ever do anything you're not comfortable with

To be honest with you, I probably would not even continue contact with someone who asked me out after 5 min. This attitude can not even to be excused by a different cultural background.

You have very reasonable doubts and I suggest to tell him frankly that you do not meet with a perfect stranger without even having gotten a feel for what the person is about before. If he tries to play the racist/prejudice card, don't even dignify that with any reply as that only indicates he's a total moron, so you don't have to worry about how you come across.

If he is not understanding towards and accepting of your very reasonable request, then so be it, no loss to you IMHO.

As to whether the cultural differences would pose any problems, you simply can't know until you get to know him as person.

Take your time, and good luck!
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
 
That's kinda sad lololol
Posted: 3/24/2013 2:37:46 PM
Welcome to the realities of online dating, all sort of different things do matter to different people.

And as you said you removed your picture BECAUSE you're plus sized, at least "some thing" beside personality (which is hard enough to figure out by an online profile) seems to matter to you too.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
 
WTH happened ( a hit and run!)
Posted: 3/24/2013 2:16:42 PM
OP, not knowing the guy, nobody can tell you why he did what he did.

But, as some other posters have mentioned before, I also believe you overreacted. As your write it, you logged on the evening after that weekend, and saw he had logged in "within the last week", meaning BEFORE that weekend getaway. Stands to reason whether he was even aware of what hit him..... think about that time frame and put your reaction in perspective.

Nobody knows his reasons, so no telling whether your actions were the trigger, but to be frank with you, I would not have taken kindly to this kind of treatment after a romantic weekend getaway either.

I know it feels crappy right now, but there is nothing you can do about it but take it as a lesson to NOT act impulsively like that again once your judgment is clouded by emotions.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Chatting with a man that says he has been stalked a few times.
Posted: 3/24/2013 5:12:44 AM
A guy having been stalked by 3 different women? LMAO, your proverbial drama king at his best.

Whatever stories he's trying to feed you, I'd recommend to stay far away from that one.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/23/2013 3:09:40 PM
@ realitychecktable4one: By all means, feel free! If you should ever end up on date with a socially challenged moron, it works like a charm, smile!

And hopefully helps him to not repeat this faux pas.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/23/2013 2:58:21 PM
@ patrick28t: Having had sex 5 hrs before the date, a guy would have most likely been in high spirits and therefore capable of an engaging and spirited conversation! Meaning known better than to ask fool-fool questions worthy of an overly self conscious and socially awkward teenager.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/23/2013 10:53:07 AM
OP, if the guy was an adult, around your age, my thought is that they don't come any more foolish than him.

The last time some clown asked me that very same question at a dinner date I took an extended look at my watch, like I'm thinking for a few seconds then looked at him with a smile and replied "about 5 hrs or so?" and promptly left him to his own devices.

Foolish question, foolish answer, simple as that.

You live and learn, it has not happened again ever since.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
I Chose The Wrong Guy
Posted: 3/23/2013 10:30:00 AM
OP, if your still interested in the other guy and you parted ways on good terms, here's your chance:

Easter is coming up, so call him and wish him a super Easter weekend, chat about plans for the long weekend etc, just keep the conversation light and social until you can figure out from his reaction/response if he's still interested as well.

Either way, you can't lose. Even if he's not receptive to any more contact, at least you tried.

Good luck!
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
I'm celibate
Posted: 3/23/2013 10:10:04 AM
Depends on whether you intend to stay celibate or not.

You're 38 and assuming the guy is about your age, once you start talking relationship, he will reasonably assume that sex will be part of this relationship.

Therefore, as a period of celibacy in the past has no bearing on this relationship there's no need to bring it up, but if you intend to stay celibate in the relationship you're talking about with him, you have to be fair and tell the (poor) guy what he will be in for, or rather not be in for.
 
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