What is the difference between Having Sex and Making Love chat & forums.

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atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 518 (view)

What is the difference between Having Sex and Making Love Posted: 5/24/2009 5:18:19 AM
Intent ..... HAVING SEX The desire for personal sexual satisfaction with little or no consideration for your partner if indeed you have one. MAKING LOVE The desire to pleasure your partner selflessly ensuring their needs and desires are met and then exceeded. Love is not required but does heighten the experience for both partners. Making love can be hard and rough provided thats what your partner needs, tender and gentle or a combination and, when they think they can be pleasured no more... surpizes them with one last act. Guys when your done get a warm moist towel and a dry one... wipe her body with one then the other ... kiss her tenderly and snuggle while you run your hands softly, slowly, over her sated body. Once she is asleep you may sink into slumber too while holding her. I smile as I look at the red hand prints on her ass that she begged for which so excited us both... I am amazed my love wants to be spanked and her hair tenderly pulled during climax. God I love this woman she is fantastic.... I'm here for the forums.. she reads them with me.... I'm not dating anyone but her. If i have my away.... we will be at each others side for the rest of our lives.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 82 (view)

stripclubs... Posted: 12/15/2008 3:09:11 PM
a strip club is the f0llowing A rite of passage A tourist attraction A place for maladjusted sexually repressed voyeuristic people to hopefully fulfill their needs in a receptive environment thus keeping the streets safe A place of fantasies As former club security and den father for the girls I can tell you this. The girls have no respect for the customers which they refer to as marks Most are junkies hookers and gold diggers... many are lesbians Some started out working their way through collage but the money and life was too seductive and over time they lost their way. If your smart and go in a club you will only have all the fun you can afford. If your really smart you wont go there at all and if you do... keep your pants zipped up, your credit cards in the trunk of your car and carry cash only as some clubs or girls will scam your credit card. If you know what to expect... know how to protect yourself... you can have fun... if that sort of thing appeals to you After closing we would sit together in the local waffle house and the girls would swap stories about the loosers they clipped and how much a specific regular is typically good for..... they almost all have contempt for the men paying for their attention

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 212 (view)

Does the size of the ring matter ? Posted: 12/14/2008 10:55:39 PM
What should mater is that she like the ring I asked a friend for her opinion and learned It seems its not the size that counts its how much you spend. Now you can get real diamonds created in a lab, not paste... real diamonds You can get awesome stones for next to nothing. from a gemologist perspective: Color grade Carat Weight Clarity Grade Cut Grade http://gia4cs.gia.edu/media/how-gia-grades-diamonds.htm I could spend about a $1000 on a ring with a 3 carat center stone with additional stones for a total of nearly 7 carats..... She would rather have a natural stone of only 1 carat for thousands more that has a lower clarity and will have inclusions such as feathers carbon deposits etc...... She can not be happy with the nearly perfect stones because they were man made and do not cost as much Who knew Guess I'm cheap... I'd rather take a honeymoon in a tropical paradise put a down payment on a home or buy her a car than sink an insane amount on a ring

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 232 (view)

Hottest Movie Scenes Posted: 12/5/2008 12:18:03 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_loG8AQKtY

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 303 (view)

What if Prostitution was Legal? Posted: 12/4/2008 11:51:34 PM
Prostitution is legal tho not every ware I do not believe in states countries and cultures where it is accepted their is much if any change in the social dynamic or the nature of sexual congress in a romantic relationship. Your postulation is representative of the American egocentric tendency to assume our laws and values system tend to be accepted every ware. Prostitution is legal in Nevada and was on the ballet for legal status in the November election in one of the new england states. "What countries have legal prostitution?" It would be easier to ask which countries is it illegal in, that would be a very short list, with mainly the U.S. were consenting adult sexual rights are denied. Prostitution is LEGAL (with some restrictions that aren't that bad) in Canada, most all of Europe including England, France, Wales, Denmark, Holland, etc., most of South America including most of Mexico (often in special zones), Israel (Tel Aviv known as the brothel capital of the world), Australia, and many other countries. It is either legal or very tolerated in most all of Asia and even Iran has "temporary wives" which can be for only a few hours! New Zealand passed in 2003 one of the most comprehensive decriminalization acts which even made street hookers legal which is causing many concerns. If your partner feels your likely to utilize the services of a prostitute if they do not satisfy your needs they are either re leaved or would kick you to the curb just like in the rest of the world.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 191 (view)

Is It Possible To Become Gay? Posted: 12/4/2008 11:27:31 PM
Here is a nice theory: I am heterosexual because in my formative years the nurturers in my life were female. Contrary to popular believe our sexual preference is primarily learned during the first four years of development. Both men and women respond to social cues that correspond to our learned (gender assigned) role.. What is perceived as natural is by and large impacted by culture, as with any process no pun intended there is standard deviation by a quantifiable percentage. Some segments of the population are attracted to the same sex Some segments of the population are attracted to the opposite sex Some segments of the population are attracted to both sexes Some segments of the population are actively engaged in perusing one or both sexes Some segments of the population in a bid for cultural acceptance may repress desires that run contrary to what is considered the norm. If someone has no attraction to the same sex it would be doubtful, without them suffering traumatic experience, that they would develop one. If someone starts pursuing same sex intimate relationship as an adult then at a minimum they must be giving in to repressed latent desire they have always had tho they may not acknowledged this to be the case. I am very happy with my culturally developed gender role bias which is an indicator that I am culturally well adjusted. I like woman.... A LOT Our indoctrination is so successful and comfortable we do not wish to accept post natal or cultural development would impact our desires. Viewing specific isolated subset cultures exemplifies exceptions that do not mirror our own culture can be the norm. While intellectually we can be presented with facts or hypothesis with mounds of supporting data it is hard to be objective.... I mean women they are so sexy hot I just have to desire them on an instinctual level... its in my DNA, I must impregnate Resistance is futile

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 99 (view)

Say something or keep my mouth shut? Posted: 12/4/2008 9:35:09 AM
sounds like rather than confront him she is going to create an ID so she can give him all the rope he needs

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Vasectomy and Pregnancy???? Posted: 12/3/2008 6:38:10 PM
Why would u need proof of the vasectomy if u haven't been with anyone else? what she said...... its a no brainier... there has been at least one other candidate one would guess or the tone of this thread would be a discussion on the possibility of immaculate conception. Mr. Burger approaches the stand and posses the question on redirect: On the night in question.... did you at any time see anyone tampering with the turkey baster? Remember your under oath Answer which one? Burger turns to the jury raising an eyebrow

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 169 (view)

what does it take to not cheat Posted: 12/3/2008 4:23:43 AM
If you were THAT unhappy... you could have just left... No could not leave... and live with myself I am her guardian

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 88 (view)

Say something or keep my mouth shut? Posted: 12/2/2008 5:03:24 PM
Nobody and I mean NOBODY loves a snitch you tell and he will hate you you tell and she may hate you or at least resent it damaging your relationship you tell and they reconcile they will both hate you If you think she should know..... create an email account on hotmail..... send her a link to the dating site and copies of his profile picture and post do not identify yourself chicken shit.... yeah..... but I know form experience you wont like it if you tell her face to face. I did and lost both as friends and yes it was family... they stayed together worked it out and later divorced..... but the damage was done.... now we just exchange xmas cards and never seem to attend the same family events. I was told next time not to say anything she would rather be happy and ignorant WHO KNEW?

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 174 (view)

3 Months, no sex? Posted: 12/2/2008 4:49:29 PM
she was in a bad relationship she does not want another mistake emotionally she is still on the rebound she is gun shy Now ask yourself this...... DO YOU LOVE HER if the answer is yes.... you need to show her by waiting and being the friend she can fall in love with. Remember she was hurt.... you need to put her emotional needs before your sexual desire if you really want to win her heart. If you just want sex ... maybe you are pushy.... do your actions match your words? Are you saying you will wait while at the same time trying to steal home. You know, she is not stupid..... keep your word if you want her heart.... if not be a friend and move on sexually. She wont respect you if you steal home

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 167 (view)

what does it take to not cheat Posted: 12/2/2008 4:25:09 PM
Reciprocal Cheater... it took some gonads to post your little story... Sooo... 1 point for candidness. As to the purpose of your little story? .... a clean shot into the shitcan It takes two to make a marriage work It takes two to maintain the commitment to each other It takes two to be a couple One person can not do it alone Years of being faithful to an idea and a dream Years of promises and hope Years of lying to myself that she would change or even could Yes I met someone and after years as friends and raising our kids basicly together we stepped over the line.... I'm not proud of it but, it is what it is. We are still friends Yeah I'm still married.... I am my spouses legal guardian .... I only wanted to share... that it is not a black and white world I freely admitted I'm not proud of myself.... I'm not relationship material but, I am not spamming for sex I do like the forums ....

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 156 (view)

what does it take to not cheat Posted: 12/1/2008 5:53:15 AM
The words of a reciprocal cheater: After two and one half years engaged to the woman of my dreams or so I thought. I married With a child on the way I was working double shifts..... My pregnant wife was screwing around on me but I didn't find out about her recreational activities until we had been married over a year. She cried promised to change etc.... we got counceling With our second child on the way a few years later I learned it was a don't ask don't tell relationship. I am poor and struggled to provide her with the same type of silver spoon lifestyle she was accustom to.... I made mistakes, poor choices was not even close to solvent.... her family had money power and political connections. If I wanted to be a father to my kids.... I had to stay married to her After years of her cheating prescription drug use and drinking we became strangers in the same house... Separate bedrooms Separate lives The one commonality .... providing a home for our kids I met someone in the same situation and without planning it found myself over time in a relationship which I guess made me just as bad as the woman I married except I was a hell of a lot more discriminating.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

What? why did i ask? Posted: 11/30/2008 5:29:37 AM
I figured out jealousy and mistrust by my partner were indicators that she was judging me by her own moral compass. She was screwing several of my friends.... even my cousin. She didn't trust me .... she was jealous..... If I ever hookup with someone that is either again... I will dump them with a quickness I toldl my girlfriend the only thing she had to worry about from a fidelity perspective is that I want to be included or see pictures and would honor her with the same respect and conditions The price of ownership is too high (you cant own people you can only earn their love) Rather have honesty and an open relationship after marrying Mrs Dont Ask Dont Tell

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 437 (view)

do guys like the smell of a woman's natural vagina? Posted: 11/30/2008 5:15:13 AM
Only an inexperienced person could doubt that a normal red blooded heterosexual male would find the natural smell of a woman anything but arousing. Technically we have no choice the females natural pheromones are hardwired into our DNA ..... we are ready to swim up river and spawn even when we smell it only subconsciously.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 202 (view)

Married Women Looking For Sex Posted: 11/30/2008 4:43:23 AM
Married men look for sex outside their marriages or relationships as well as women. Personally it's disgusting and it proves that the individual looking to cheat has serious personal issues within themselves. Rather than cheat and avoid their own personal issues they need to discuss them with a counselor. The world as are people is much more complected making simplistic condemnation inappropriate. I, like you at your age, looked at the world in stark black an white rather that via the prism of full spectrum of life experiences which now color my views. I agree it is poignantly sad that relationship and life are not perfect.... Compatibility ability and desire do not always equate to parity satisfaction contentment or need. There are just too many factors that can result in a situation where people choose or are relegated to going outside their primary relationship for fulfillment of some type. Not everyone that does so is bad or inconsiderate... in fact in some cases it could even be a kindness. That being said yeah... some people are simply narcissistic and lack the moral compass required to show restraint but that is yet another broad stroke isn't it.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Can this work out if shes nearly 10 years older than me? Posted: 11/26/2008 11:58:24 PM
step one is let her know your interested in getting a little closer... like a first date.... sounds like you have a crush on her to me.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

It's just coffee Posted: 11/24/2008 5:24:19 AM
If you trust him.... thats all that counts but ... he should have been considerate Discuss your disappointment that you did not hear from him and share your concern for his well being with him.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 162 (view)

I Want To Leave... Posted: 11/24/2008 5:20:34 AM
This thread is like seeing a train or car wreck on TV in slow motion. Its all been said..... nothing that matters such as don't park on the tracks has been heard.... no attempted contribution means anything.... the outcome is predetermined Much like daytime TV there are better ways to waist time than on this soap opera

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

do I trust her or break up with her? Posted: 11/18/2008 2:14:34 AM
Kick her to the curb then find someone willing to beat some sense into you! In fact tell your mom exactly what is going on then give her a plastic bat to use on you! No offense intended but you show all the indicators of experiencing the life of a doormat. You have allowed a lier into your home under the conditions that your her secret FWB while she cheats on this other poor smuck in the UK I hope I have not come on too strong as that could result on your not listening and I don't want to violate POF rules by being too critical. Get counceling ASAP that focuses on integrity, assertiveness and, self esteem (you might even see me there too as I have my own issues)

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 105 (view)

Does cyber sex count as cheating? Posted: 11/18/2008 1:57:39 AM
Its really cyber assisted masturbation if the situatiuon is you never meet RW. But If you are in a serious commited relationship do you feel comfortable sharing that this is an activity you enjoy. What is your significant others opinion Its not what we think that counts Its the understanding and openness you have wtih your significant other that counts If they don't know and walked in on you in the middle of textasy with someone else what would their reaction be? Thats the answer that counts

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 97 (view)

I Want To Leave... Posted: 11/18/2008 1:38:27 AM
I do not know how to tell you what you want to hear. Your 20 (younger than my kids) Tough love answer Unless he held a gun on you or your parents threw you out you are at least partially responsible for moving in with him and his mother. I am assuming wont let you leave means you are: a little scared of him he may be physically restraining you Or this is another indicator of your allowing a lack of assertiveness on your part to relegate you to passive decisions not to take a stand. you have 3 options: Make the commitment to leave and do so when he is there Make the commitment to leave and call the police for protective mediation assistance in exiting the home if it is the only way to do so when he is home Leave when he is at work You are a passive individual that needs to learn to take control of your life rather than choosing to be a victim in a relationship where your unable to cope. You said not to get on you and stay on topic which means you already knew what you needed to hear tho it is not what you wanted to hear. The topic is...how to escape from being an enabler and take positive control of your life. If you have limited resources contact the United Way to arrange for counceling and assistance establishing your independence Good luck Get moving you have choices to make and perhaps a child to raise which means ... set an example you can be proud of in their eyes.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 61 (view)

number one priority Posted: 11/16/2008 5:21:12 AM
I think its a common since statement about being an adult and a parent. The kids are her main focus as a nurturer and parent It means their health and welfare come first..... It does not mean she is carpet It does not mean she wont accept they may be a little unhappy on occasion when her happiness and need for you come before their desires...... ( I didnt say needs). You have to be pragmatic... if the kids are sick they are first if they are in a school play they are first if the are in trouble they are first Bithdays and holidays....etc... when all is well.... she can be with: you, them or, all together... The flip side.... if you love her you should try to develop a friendship with the kids too! You may find you like being a big brother to them, which is a step in the right direction, if you want her you must consider if you want a family since it is a package deal.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Confused, Can I Trust Her Again? Posted: 11/16/2008 5:09:53 AM
If you take her back can I sell you some swamp land?

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 70 (view)

Oral on first date.... Posted: 11/15/2008 8:17:54 PM
I must be strange... I never asked for oral when dating I only told 1 woman bluntly without getting into heavy petting that I wanted to have sex the first time and that was a travel situation where we hit it off.... really had no thing to loose as the night was ending (the club was closing) so... I admitted that (as forward as it was) I wanted to ravish her as soon as I could get her alone..... she felt the same way If a woman wants to do something she does not need to be asked.... I don't ask, I think allowing nature to take its course is more exciting... more spontaneous if things just progress that way... If she signals I'm going too far..... I slow down or stop depending on the next signal I do not try to guide a womans head down south either.... It is her choice to reciprocate or not

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 74 (view)

What are you hiding? And why hide it? IE: Kinkyness Posted: 11/13/2008 11:48:36 AM
People can be judgmental and I have no interest in someone that wants me only because of one aspect of my personality. If your here for sex then by all means tell people about your interest in waxing and wearing a diaper or what ever flips your pancake. For the record... using a feather in bed can be fun,,,, using a live chicken is perverted. I have yet to run into a woman that gives me pause sexually but, admit I do not care for bondage.... was asked, tried it and, thought it was boring and silly.... I want a ladies hands free!

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 162 (view)

Painful ass spankin' Posted: 11/13/2008 11:38:11 AM
Does anyone know someone like this or someone with a similarly strange fettish? Your own personal perceptions betray you with your last line. Fetish/Kinky versus perverted Definition example .... rubbing your partner all over with a feather could be considered kinky or a fetish. ....Using the entire clucking chicken ..... perhaps perverted I spanked my girlfriend and pulled her hair....at her request.... she likes it... it turns me on to turn her on. I have feathers available...... but my chickens.... don't want to scare them... they would not understand and might be traumatized for life maybe even need counceling .

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 768 (view)

Is oral sex cheating? Posted: 11/13/2008 11:28:14 AM
Stupid question...... is someone looking to validate their actions? People that can not delineate the difference between sex and being in love will always say it is cheating. If you go home and you or your spouse can share their/your day and it can include giving or receiving sexual favors for the sake of physical gratification then it is not cheating, it is not love, it is just relating sex occurred possibly followed by comments on the quality. Cheating can be lunch with a coworker your madly in love with and fantasize about incessantly....... oh! and the co worker can be oblivious. Cheating is having feeling of romantic love that is the same love you would feel for your spouse... cheating is allowing your feelings for a 3rd party to come between you and your spouce...... cheating is to develop an emotional love obession in your heart and mind about someone other than your partner. sex is just sex..... if you and your partner agree it can occur without love If not any sexual activity including a kiss could be cheating..... Thoughts can be cheating You don't need to ask us... if you think its cheating or if your spouse thinks something is cheating ... then it is no mater what we say

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 208 (view)

Weirdest thing POF person asked you! Posted: 10/31/2008 11:20:56 AM
Not on POF Girlfriend always said this or that was kinky .... too kinky and she could never do this or that...... not request mind you just talking Well what she really meant was I could never admit I want to do this or that so I'm just gunna do it without asking commenting or discussing it and see how you react. I'm not gunna share specifics....... she was WAY KINKY WAY WAY kinky....... if she had asked.... I admit I would have turned her down on several items in her bag of tricks.... BLUSH..... I liked more of it than I would have expected.... guess I'm a bit of a freak too..... but only a little.... could skip it but she liked it so let her enjoy herself a couple of things she did once and once only..... guess she could tell

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Women's Sustenance and Men Done In Moments Posted: 10/31/2008 10:46:42 AM
I have heard about this before... All I can say is wow... I only stop sometimes for a few minutes when I come....and that is not all the time I have been asked how I can cum stay hard and keep going without missing a stroke. I honestly do not know how to answer... I'm not a doctor... I had no idea this was a problem for other people. My partner told me that I am the energizer bunny and just don't know when enough is enough..... I try to be considerate and stop once an hour never going too long anymore. She said 5 hours is too long...... I just stop at 2 to 3 hours now but am not satisfied sometimes... in fact I don't even cum every time..... If i don't hold back I can cum in 30 minutes most of the time but if I do hold back I want at least 2 - 3 hours...... is this asking too much Why do people want quick sex anyway if there is no reason not to go for hours? Yeah this is off topic and a hijack of the thread...

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 146 (view)

Hetero but homo thoughts Posted: 10/31/2008 10:26:03 AM
Read this and perhaps you will be just as confused tho a little more well informed. Basically it says according to Freud you identified more with your mother as a child resulting in a confused feminine desire for your father.... masculinity is a constant struggle by males to prove they are heterosexual through performance out of fear of their feminine desires will rank them lower in other mens eyes. http://books.google.com/books?id=m1mM0m37AHkC&pg=PA19&lpg=PA19&dq=percentages+of+gay+desires+among+men&source=web&ots=LBADmxyOPB&sig=vuGeiiQmYkYx3VzK0p3MhZQKiXY&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=10&ct=result#PPA34,M1 I will claim to have this fear if some kind sexy woman would be willing to help me prove my masculinity through performance ...... hurry hurry I'm thinking about decorating and track lighting.....

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 112 (view)

If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor? Posted: 10/31/2008 9:50:11 AM
I do not care about tit for tat but that being said I desire a partner that cares to please me. I can tell you from experience that however selfless or giving a person may be in the short term.... a long term relationship with a narcissistic partner that seems to care only for their own pleasure results in one person being left out. I think it is important to me that my partner care enough to go the extra mile on occasion to make me the center of attention sexually. I admit I tend to be pushy and deflect attempts to focus on me as I prefer to give much more than receive but one does like to know their partner cares to and, truly enjoys reciprocating once in a while with real enthusiasm not, with a sense of ok its my turn duty. I am simply not compatible with someone that is totally passive sexually While I am more aggressive sexually I like my partner to be aggressive in bed on occasion too!

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 185 (view)

Married Women Looking For Sex Posted: 10/31/2008 9:06:25 AM
When I was a young fellow (early 20s) I was convinced quite naively that unlike the people Hollywood portrayed by and large married people were faithful to one another and that most people were married for life. I was more than a little wet behind the ears to say the least. Just about all the families in my neighborhood were stable and it was viewed tragically if a couple divorced. I consequently had a mind set that married women were off limits and it was the height of disrespect to the couple and specifically the woman to seriously flirt with a married lady other than in obvious jest if you were friends. I felt theoretically I would not want someone trying to hit on my wife so I did not hit on other mens wives. Then... I got married too... Married women I respected an admired began hitting on me... I was a bit flattered yeah but the primary thing I was I can honestly say is disappointed and disillusioned. I was told that now that I was a member of the club I was safe to screw since I now had as much to loose as they did. Several of my married female acquaintances shared that they do not screw single guys because they might do something stupid like show up at their house to profess their love in front of their families. Young, in love with my wife, idealistic and a little judgmental (28 years ago) I turned them all down. I didn't know at the time that my wife was a willing cheating club member too.... I didn't join the club for many many years (until I caught my wife the second or was it the third time).... I don't pry or keep count now.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 281 (view)

How to tell if a woman is horny?? Posted: 10/11/2008 4:54:01 AM
I check to see if she is wet 1. If she lets me perform the check... she is interested 2. If she is wet I have confirmed my supision and can proceed 3. If she lets me check and she is not wet I keep checking until she is wet. 4. Feeling a sting. I look in the mirror for a red hand print on my face... If i see one... she is either not horny or too wild for me!

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

When is it acceptable to date after divorce? Posted: 10/11/2008 4:21:50 AM
Your not a widow.... From a personal perspective... I'd say once you have closure.... If you wanted the divorce because you drifted apart then date. If you were blind sided, the divorce was due to a 3rd party you might need to work through your baggage in therapy first. When you meet someone do you discuss your X? If so, your not ready! I went back and looked at your profile..... your a child still.. with children... at least you wont have the resentment older children feel when their parents break up. You do not know what a long term relationship is at 22 Do you live on your own or with parents grandparents or his family How long were you married

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 64 (view)

16 years gap Posted: 10/11/2008 4:07:26 AM
I mentioned this in another thread... My brother is in a May to December marriage.... Age was a concern but they ignored it now it has caught up with them She is 34 in her prime realizing he is in the twilight of his years ... acts it and shows it She works.... he retired in bad health...and is in bed by 8:30.... he never goes out anymore other than to dinner at cracker barrel every once in a while. she has a lifetime ahead of her he has a few years people think he is her father when they meet They have had some good years (10 or so with 2 additional years of her helping care for him) Now he looks acts and elderly she is still young .... when she files for divorce next year it may kill him... every form of refuge has its price... It breaks her heart to know her love is ownly... given to a man with hands as cold as ice... My oh my ....

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

ex date not ready for a relationship & still around.... Posted: 10/10/2008 2:01:48 PM
I read your post not all the responses you email you hang out but.... don't talk on the phone.... You don't hear from him weekends.... He keeps you at a distance... wont commit with feelings... I think he has made a choice to be a father first and is protecting his kids from his desire to date. You mentioned that you hang out.... you do not mention that you were included with the kids. The "TIME " you met them does not indicate a family relationship...No information on family outings, how you feel about the kids and if they accept you. For kids to accept you he would have to include you as a friend and let you go on outings with them over time so the kids could figure out if they like you as a person and not a potential mother figure or replacement for their mother in their dads heart. It can be very very hard for the kids and the potential mate. Acceptance has to be earned... If your were with him and with them if there is any chance for you it may be based on the kids accpetance.... Not enough info in the first post and if that is all there is to share then you were dating a guy that compartmentalizes his life and your not in the family slot. He liked you but... the kids may not be up for anyone at this point and they have the only vote that counts...

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 132 (view)

should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship Posted: 10/8/2008 11:02:11 PM
If you love her let her be.... at greater than 30 years age diff .... she is what 21 or 22 She is a child from an experience perspective My brother married a woman 20+ years younger than he.... Now he is old in failing health has retired and she is in her 30s she is planning to divorce him for a number of reasons.... the main one is he has basically given up on living and her youth is more than he can bare...... his age and mindset now is more than she can bare They love each other but the wheels are coming off now and it is ripping them both up. Should she stay to watch him die..... should he linger in her life to see her need for people her own age. Its not a good situation I love my brother and am glad they could have a few years of happiness but she has a lifetime ahead of her and he is near the end of his.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

A little Help Please Posted: 10/8/2008 6:45:50 AM
Live in United Kingdom its this redundant Live within 75 miles. They may live further away but could have a friend in your area Must not be looking for Friendship You have to start some where and its hard to skip friendship if your trying to meet someone you can respect. Everyone thinks they are normal.... A woman might prefer a little mystery in combination with a little confidence. I'm normal is not going to inspire a woman to meet you, it screams I'm desperate ..... I'd say loose the normal line. Tell them about your passion... is it reading.... collecting bits... training dogs....art....music....etc..... do other people think you can sing... Be a little more informative and tell them your two favorite choices for a casual first date...... Is there is a pub or place that you think is especially interesting and why? A place that you would like to take a woman to sit down and get to know each other.... A quiet place.... perhaps one that is a little off the beaten path for you. It can be a distraction if a date is busy talking to everyone else so a neutral location is best. For a casual date the key for the dinner is make it a little later in the evening with a focus on an inexpensive specialty.... a little known place that does one thing really well is the ticket. Have a couple of different types of places in mind and find out her preference. Tell her you consider it an eclectic treat.... tell her its a dive.... tell her its under rated.... tell her something awful about the place that from the right perspective might be funny when she sees it. Once there your eating and she is relaxed if she likes the food ask her not to tell anyone about it so it does not become crowded in the future.... If you go for the hidden gem theme make sure you choose a place where the food wont disappoint. I know a Dump in New York on the side of a highway that has be best shaved sirloin sandwiches in America ... You eat on picnic tables off butcher paper .... It is a rude looking place..... people that know come for hundreds of miles around to eat there. It is a forgone conclusion that the future will depend on how the date goes so you could loose that see how it goes line, especially the tag about not to bed. I hope my comments are taken in a positive light and are a help to you. Good luck Yeah my profile is a mess too but I'm older and not looking for the same things....

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 71 (view)

All Night Lovemaking! Posted: 10/7/2008 5:03:17 AM
At 49 I can't go all night anymore..... after about 5 hours I'm ready for a nap.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 349 (view)

Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs? Posted: 10/7/2008 4:55:41 AM
I do not care if I get a blowjob and never ask for one..... I do find it exciting if a partner shows interest on her own and is willing to provide a few minutes of oral sex on occasion. On the other hand I have a desire so strong that it may be considered a compulsion to orally pleasure my partner as part of my enjoyment of her body. I think it would be good for you to turn off the inner dialog that associates your providing oral pleasure to your partner with the abuse of your childhood. The easiest was for you to do this is with flavored syrups.... liquid chocolate etc... Turn your trauma into a tastier oral adventure that is a pleasure for you and your partner. Have them lay on their back... tie their hands.... you take control pour a little chocolate on them. Limit your indulgence in this effort to short durations .... perhaps in time you will develop a desire to provide this kind of pleasure to your partner out of a loving sense of giving that you enjoy too. Good luck

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 241 (view)

I hate it when men do this during lovemaking Posted: 10/7/2008 4:35:41 AM
Communication Failure: I have done many things for my partner strictly for her pleasure but, I care enough to enjoy providing them with pleasure for the simple satisfaction of pleasing them with no expectation it would rock my world physically. In the OP's scenario it is obvious they had not included sharing each others fantasies and desires before jumping in bed which means they missed something as import as physical contact..... Mental seduction Too Many Porn Movies: Unless I am requested I am not going to forgo the pleasure of a woman to masturbate while she looks on in wonder that I'm not actively stimulating her. I know the "MONEY SHOT" may be important to visually share a climax with a film audience but it does nothing for me. Could this Happen to Me: Not unless the person I was with was someone that was not open when we were still in the flirting mental seduction stage... I am 25 years past the one night stand faze of my life so expect and am more in tune with a partners desires than is depicted in the OPs situation.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

is this homophobic? Posted: 10/7/2008 4:09:56 AM
She is completely grossed out by the idea Abstract tolerance is not quite the same emotionally as finding out your in bed with the issue. Perhaps the up close and personal realization that her risk for contracting HIV was a stark reality that she did not appreciate being informed about after she shared the mans bed. I think she has a very real reason for concern and every right to remove Mr Belated Honesty from consideration as a mate. I would imagine all women would prefer to know they were involved with someone willing to engage in a high risk sexual contact before they share a bed with them.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

BS MY MARRIAGE IS SOME BS? Posted: 10/3/2008 6:43:23 AM
It's time to stop right now and get your head on straight. The situation: married a short time.... limited assets .... no kids U may be your own worst enemy right now. If you can get a non contested divorce or an annulment you are ahead of the game. Your faithless spouse has done you a favor..... in five years with kids a house and tons of debt this could have been your worst nightmare. I would suggest you contact a United Way Agency if money is tight ( they offer a sliding scale based on your ability to pay) and ask about counceling for yourself... you have hurt pride and right this minute anger management is a top priority before you shoot yourself in the foot. Do not screw her over financially.... do not confront her... do not accost him or them... be smart... think of yourself and what your goals for you are, not about revenge. Get well, get free, get over it.... before it consumes you.... If you do something stupid.... you could end up with a nice prison tat that says "Bubba's B1tch 4 -2 Cigarettes U can have a ride too" http://www.legalzoom.com/legal-divorce/divorce-overview.html I was loading the shotgun outside his apartment when I realized my kids would never understand and I'd miss seeing them grow up..... I left... smartest thing I ever did was think of the future and my kids instead of doing something termianal.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 51 (view)

Would you put a partner you aren't married to on your checking account? Posted: 10/3/2008 6:17:05 AM
Its all been said..... This is your brian This is your brain on premarital checking... smashes piggy banks with free gift toaster from the bank... SMASH These are the phone calls from collection agencies SMASH These are the final notices from your creditors SMASH This is your " I am homeless will work for food" sign SMASH what part of NO do people not understand Its not identity theft if you gave your permission now is it? She is lucky it was cash access and not.... credit cards with high limits.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 71 (view)

Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful Posted: 10/3/2008 5:47:11 AM
dare2loveagain Atlantadayguy1, I didnt say it was cheating...just the opposite I did not say you said it was cheating ..... you said you didn't consider it unfaithful and I agree... Several of the other posters expounded upon the theme and stated they or their partner did consider it a forum of faithlessness or cheating as it were. I can only say this mindset is one embraced by people with inferiority complexes that may result in performance anxiety which can degrade their ability to please their partner. While it would be nice to assume education counceling or maturity would resolve these issues over time, some people will never experience the personal growth that is a prerequisite to their realizing its not about them. Its about their acknowledgment, support and, acceptance of your need without having to view it through the prism of their own ego or lack there of. for the record Kinky is when you let your man rub a feather all over your naked body Perversion is when he uses the whole chicken.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

man who doesn't sleep with wife?? Posted: 10/3/2008 5:28:39 AM
Well, I'm a man, and I can say that's a load of crap! If a man is married, you don't believe him. You do yourself, the OP and reality in general a diservice with such a limited perceptual range... It can and does happen that couples may remain married, choose to or are precluded from maintaining an active sex life, sharing a marital bed or engaging in much more together than cohabitation. Responsibility commitment and compassion can mitigate ones decision to stay in a situation that may be unpalatable personally. In some states, in certain situations it is, while not impossible to divorce, nearly an insurmountable task. If your the legal guardian of your spouse for medical considerations (incurable debilitating disease, physical handicap, mental illness) divorce is beyond messy and requires expert medical testimony which can result in your spouse becoming a ward of the court if there is no one else to act in their interest. On a lighter note there is child care and financial considerations which is in my opinion a walk in the park comparatively. Anyone can walk away from responsibility .... in fact it's easier I suspect. Speaking in absolutes tends to put people in a indefensible position when they speak based on passion rather than knowledge. To the OP: I think if a married man is contacting a younger single woman for sex regardless of his motive it would benefit her to avoid becoming entangled in a no win situation with someone that may have more baggage than a freight train or could simply be playing the field.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

man who doesn't sleep with wife?? Posted: 10/3/2008 3:47:42 AM
We have had separate bed rooms Yes its is a strange thing to hear of .... living it feels odd too I chose to stay to ensure my kids had someone that could offer guidance, support and, feel they have a nurturing presence in their lives. I do not feel it is fair for me to complicate the lives of single women by requesting they consider becoming involved with me. Out of respect I do not send them any messages unless it is a comment on or, related to a forum subject as a matter of debate and then, only when I or my needs are not the subject of the forum. I get some negative attention in the forums on occasion for having an intimate encounter selected in my profile as tho that desire means I'm furiously messaging any woman with a pulse for sex. There seems to be a number of preconceived ideas that are quite presumptuous that anyone with the honesty to have such a stated goal also has a complete lack of depth, judgment or modicum of decorum. I doubt I would have enough intellectually in common with someone not of my generation. As a parent when I see a what is in my eyes a young girl that is dressed provocatively I do not think yeah I want that.... My first thought is do her parents know she left the house dressed like that.... then I realize shes 30ish.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

Toys, kinkiness, and being faithful Posted: 10/1/2008 7:37:25 PM
I'm sorry but I don't accept your stereotype I have in the past purchased toys for my partner I am happy they can use them together with me or for self pleasure when alone. Everyone has masturbated on occasion even when in a relationship. It is not cheating, its just fulfilling a desire, giving in to a need... de stressing, unwinding or just enjoying a pleasure your entitled to experience. If that is cheating all self stimulation is, I guess we should all cut off our hands and for those that have them... thrown out their toys.... I do not agree I'd hate to have to tell my right hand I have been cheating with my left one.

atlantadayguy1

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 250 (view)

Could you ever forgive an affair Posted: 9/30/2008 4:10:40 PM
Yeah once then there are the kids to think of (they were so little) second time turned a blind eye to it again kids (could not destroy their world) put my fingers in my ears and sing loudly don't want to know more.. have heard too much... After spending the last several years being accused of her behavior... I'm filing and looking..... might as well get on with my life. Kids are grown

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