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Author
Thread: Aussie accents
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
21 (
view
)
Aussie accents
Posted:
5/14/2009 8:29:09 AM
i'm in accent limbo
the auzzies say i sound pom with underlying kiwi
and the kiwis say i sound auzzie with a bit of pom
islanders say i sound english... so... there ya go
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
40 (
view
)
Would you like to experience the other side.
Posted:
5/14/2009 8:23:43 AM
..................... it would be liberating to free myself of my udders!!
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
23 (
view
)
scammers on PoF.
Posted:
5/14/2009 8:16:25 AM
when someone who knows my name messages me in regards to the millions of dollars my late uncle left me it's really tempting to not disclose my bank account details....it would've been more believable if my late uncle wasn't scottish, french or russian!!
come to think of it, i would be very distraught if my late uncle did leave me $50mil cos that would mean i had a great uncle that robbed a bank or benefitted from alan bonds attempts to invest in the pacific islands or he was holding on to all the stash bondie claimed he lost in the 80s...
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
15 (
view
)
Has anyone been to a tantra workshop
Posted:
5/14/2009 7:55:48 AM
OP
i agree with lyingcheat
get yourself a partner first
get to know her sexually
and if you both agree to explore tantric together
then go for it... it is amazing!!
btw
i haven't been to a workshop
there's heaps of books on tantric sex
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
28 (
view
)
Four Corners: The code of silence POF POV
Posted:
5/14/2009 7:48:54 AM
while it's difficult to know what really happened in that room 7 years ago, i do wonder whether any financial gains were made by the 'victim' .
non consensual sex is wrong and perpetrators, regardless of their position in life, need to be dealt with. if the woman in question was indeed raped by those football players, then they need to be held accountable for their actions. they need to be charged and locked up!!
if, however, the woman concocted this whole nightmare, for what ever reason, my heart goes out to andrew johns and his family. he's paid a bloody big price for his adultery.
hopefully, this story regardless of who is the real 'victim' will force the NRL to seriously address the sex, booze, violence culture they've allowed to survive for decades. perhaps it's time clubs also assess prospective players' characters as well as ball handling, kicking, tackling and running skills, before signing them on.
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
24 (
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Friend in trouble
Posted:
5/10/2009 12:33:56 AM
it would be interesting to hear how long the 'love birds' have been an item. but frankly speaking, she sounds emotionally draining and in need of someone who is able to get her through past hurts. a counsellor sounds much better than a boyfriend....
give her time and space to grow
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
19 (
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)
how do things go bad when they seemed so perfect
Posted:
4/24/2009 8:31:54 PM
drutherford
children are resilient beings and they are capable of handling information that is age appropriate and that doesn't devalue their mother. regardless of what your ex has done, she is still their mother and will always be their mother.
as already mentioned by someone, seek counselling from your church pastor or parents - if that is possible and a viable option.
i also agree that the best you can do is give your wife the freedom she desires, stop sharing a home with her (if that is still the case), focus on your wellbeing and being a good father.
children deserve to be in a home that envelops them in love, fosters their development and general wellbeing. hundreds of separated parents have raised good children...
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
13 (
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Getting into the dating scene for the first time at 28??
Posted:
4/12/2009 7:29:44 AM
OP
fidelity and loyalty are part of the marriage package
you married young and stayed in the relationship for nine years
you were faithful and dedicated to your husband and children...
i don't know why that would be considered weird
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
23 (
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Dont contact me anymore some advice on that
Posted:
4/8/2009 4:56:58 PM
set her free OP
she deserves to find her 'true love'
it isn't you...
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
67 (
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How can you tell your boyfriend i cheated on you
Posted:
4/8/2009 4:44:06 PM
OP
your second post suggests you ALMOST had sex with your friend...
should you tell your boygriend?
* firstly you need to ask yourself why you ALMOST went down that cheating lane. i believe people who are secure and happy with the self, and the relationship they're in won't do anything to jeopardise it.
*then confess your 'wrong doing' to your boyfriend so he can make an informed decision based on what you told him.
*if you and your boyfriend wish to work through the relationship, you both need to make some changes
*if he decides to dump you, you move on....
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
17 (
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i love him but.................
Posted:
4/8/2009 4:17:35 PM
you seemed to have lived very well without him...
anyway, the relationship is five months old and he's telling you what you will not get from him:
*financial support/aid
*commitment
*marriage
however, if you proceed with loving him:
*you will be subjected to ridicule, humiliation, biting
*you will experience an emotional roller coaster ride
is he worth your love?
do you deserve his (definition of) love?
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
2 (
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you had a nice date but....
Posted:
4/6/2009 5:08:02 PM
thank him for the date/ email and wish him the best in his dating journey....
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
11 (
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a relationship with a friend.....help?
Posted:
4/5/2009 6:20:23 AM
he's obviously getting a kick each time he disempowers you... don't let him do it again.
and... find better friends to hang out with
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
15 (
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Help!
Posted:
4/4/2009 4:57:27 AM
has he posted a thread, criticising or accusing his ex girl friend (which could be you) of infidelity?
if he is, that's what posts are for...
however, if he's defending himself cos of what you've written about him... ouch!!
maybe you needed to see a counsellor instead of posting on a public forum with your picture (oops, you're a counsellor, so you don't need to see one)...
geeze...
maybe if you stopped posting on public forums about him, he won't feel the need to defend himself... nah, that doesn't make sense!!
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
28 (
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Is there THAT many bad people in the world?
Posted:
4/4/2009 4:48:36 AM
it's falling too soon and too quickly for the person who fits your fantasies or ideals of 'the right man for me'... either that, or i'm a slow worker. it usually takes me well over a year to be the centre of a man's universe...
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
12 (
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Emotionally numb
Posted:
4/4/2009 4:45:06 AM
you're in the next phase of your life: find a new purpose
it's time to focus on yourself, your wants and your needs - without feeling guilty. it's okay. be nice to yourself.
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
84 (
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Best way...
Posted:
4/4/2009 3:25:12 AM
OP
you can always plead 'insanity' at the time of consummation...
or, you spiked your own coffee.... and, didn't know what you were doing...
seriously: i agree with what's already been said by one poster - should have told her you were only after a fudge...
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
18 (
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)
I can't give up
Posted:
4/2/2009 7:38:13 PM
it must be emotionally draining to be part of a relationship that lacks trust...
while it doesnt makes sense to me, it's incomprehensible to think you feel it's okay (you stayed in, and you want to work it out)...
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
38 (
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giving another chance
Posted:
4/2/2009 7:23:09 PM
OP
it appears, he wasn't serious enough to realise the fantasy - meeting you in person...
or he didn't think you were serious about meeting him - why else would he doubt it was going to work?
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
14 (
view
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It's time....but I can't seem to let go.
Posted:
4/2/2009 5:19:09 PM
you seem to be throwing yourself at someone whom you haven't met yet and who doesn't appear to be interested in anything more than pen pal ing...
parts of your post portray you as an obsessive woman - not giving up, insisting on and demanding a response. perhaps you need to sit and reflect on your behaviour thus far. if the man in question was doing what you're doing to him - will you report him to the police for stalking?
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
20 (
view
)
Would you take them back?
Posted:
4/1/2009 7:02:31 PM
OP
she's moved on and is with someone else
she made a mistake
but then again she had a reason for leaving you in the first place, mistake or not
get over her and move on with your life...
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
8 (
view
)
Ok guys, I need your help?????
Posted:
4/1/2009 6:52:27 PM
Hi OP
'female therapy' (for a husband) over family or marriage counselling doesn't really solve the underlying marital problem. it leaves the wife confused not to mention the children.
have you seen professional health carers for post natal depression?
it's important for you to express your feelings. if not to him, have you considered counselling for both of you.
please get some professional help regardless of whether you reconcile with your ex or move on with someone else...
good luck!!
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
56 (
view
)
Jealousy?
Posted:
3/31/2009 6:52:45 PM
you're 21
you want to visit and spend time with a male friend who is 47
your partner is suspicious, doesnt trust you, doesn't trust him, is feeling insecure, is feeling concerned?
if my daughter, who is your age, wanted to spend time with a 47year old male 'friend', i would be concerned - as would her boyfriend and father.
OP
i think you need to sit down with your boyfriend and if assurance means introducing your 47year old male friend to him... do it!
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
14 (
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)
Can you date someone who your not attracted to; but they treat you very well
Posted:
3/31/2009 6:24:26 PM
OP
i think this man deserves someone who appreciates him for all he is...
if its not you, then let him go so he can find that someone
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
35 (
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What are the odds?
Posted:
3/30/2009 12:45:53 AM
i think he's on POF looking for is cinderalla... and he's chosen you...
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
134 (
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)
It's a Coffee!
Posted:
3/29/2009 11:29:34 PM
while the man under the miscroscope acted inappropriately by refusing to play the good host, it should've been addressed at the coffee shop...
ie
* the person wishing to have coffee should have excused the self to purchase coffee for the self
* renumeration should have been sought by the person who paid for the coffee, if 'paying' and 'bad hosting' was going to be an issue
a man can't read a woman's mind
a woman can't read a man's mind
communicating the oohs and aahss, if's and is... helps the two genders to get on with each other and life....
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
133 (
view
)
It's a Coffee!
Posted:
3/29/2009 11:29:06 PM
while the man under the miscroscope acted inappropriately by refusing to play the good host, it should've been addressed at the coffee shop...
ie
* the person wishing to have coffee should have excused the self to purchase coffee for the self
* renumeration should have been sought by the person who paid for the coffee, if 'paying' and 'bad hosting' was going to be an issue
a man can't read a woman's mind
a woman can't read a man's mind
communicating the oohs and aahss, if's and is... helps the two genders to get on with each other and life....
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
15 (
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)
From sex to abstinance?
Posted:
3/29/2009 11:04:43 PM
OP
it's very difficult to give up something you enjoy doing, in his case sex... bravo to him, for making a lifestyle choice that he is comfortable with.
how much of his new lifestyle are you willing to accept?
abstinence, unlike stds, isn't a death sentence. christian youths practice it and have done so successfully although sex has been redefined (i always thought it involved penetration) hence 'abstinence from sex' is very general (eg. does that include abstaining from masterbation and toys?)
if the feelings of love are mutual, you need to ask yourself how much are you willing to give up to continue your relationship with him. if he's of a good character, is generous, thoughtful and senstive to your needs - what is wrong with waiting for marriage?
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
125 (
view
)
It's a Coffee!
Posted:
3/29/2009 10:33:15 PM
it's two strangers meeting for coffee...
was the conversation good?
did it lead to another date?
or did the coffee get in the way?
was it starbucks?
try gloria jeans next time...
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
12 (
view
)
cant get over it
Posted:
3/29/2009 10:29:35 PM
OP
learn to trust others by trusting yourself first
your jealousy is a result of your inability to trust the woman you're with
unless your over the jealousy, your next relationship/s will be haunted by your fears of insecurity and lack of trust.... don't put yourself through that again.
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
4 (
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)
Need closure!!
Posted:
3/29/2009 10:21:51 PM
hi OP
is closure neccessary for a bright future?
as already mentioned by others, closure may not happen and waiting for it to eventuate means putting your life on hold.
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
44 (
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)
Caucasian dating Indian/will it work?
Posted:
3/29/2009 9:43:12 PM
i have a few friends who married into an indian culture
friend 1:
it took his family a very long time to accept her. however, once she was accepted they functioned like every other couple until the divorce, which wasn't over cultural differences. his family embraced her willingness to accomodate and adapt his culture.
friend 2:
they were married for five years. within that time he was having an affair via correspondence with his current wife who was still living in india. he admitted he married my friend to get his papers - Australian citizenship.
friend 3:
she was welcomed into the family (indian) however, her family couldn't tolerate the differences. the marriage dissolved because of her family's demands and pressure, which she was subjected to on a daily basis.
do caucasian/indian marriages work?
* it depends entirely on the couple's willingness to embrace each other's cultural differences and to view them as manageable and unique...
* it depends on your families' contributions to the marriage. can both families see past the indian/ caucasian identifiers? how supportive are members of your family?
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
43 (
view
)
Caucasian dating Indian/will it work?
Posted:
3/29/2009 9:41:34 PM
i have a few friends who married into an indian culture
friend 1:
it took his family a very long time to accept her. however, once she was accepted they functioned like every other couple until the divorce, which wasn't over cultural differences. his family embraced her willingness to accomodate and adapt his culture.
friend 2:
they were married for five years. within that time he was having an affair via correspondence with his current wife who was still living in india. he admitted he married my friend to get his papers - Australian citizenship.
friend 3:
she was welcomed into the family (indian) however, her family couldn't tolerate the differences. the marriage dissolved because of her family's demands and pressure, which she was subjected to on a daily basis.
do caucasian/indian marriages work?
* it depends entirely on the couple's willingness to embrace each other's cultural differences and to view them as manageable and unique...
* it depends on your families' contributions to the marriage. can both families see past the indian/ caucasian identifiers? how supportive are members of your family?
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
21 (
view
)
What do you think he means?
Posted:
3/29/2009 8:53:24 PM
OP
you appear to be the one having an issue with being 'appreciated' and 'loved'...
if someone shows their affection
why can't you accept it?
don't you feel you're worthy of 'love'?
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
20 (
view
)
Lost love advice needed
Posted:
3/29/2009 3:36:34 PM
OP
i think it's delusional to think you were made for each other
unless you believe, you were meant to be with someone who is not yet ready to settle or with a 'player'
time heals all wounds
be nice toyourself
not all men are like the lover that wasn't for you...
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
18 (
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)
How to say goodbye for good?
Posted:
3/29/2009 3:33:03 PM
agree with ellen1051
before you can physically walk away
you need to emotionally disconnect and move on
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
38 (
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)
Trouble getting over the 'Emotional Abuser' ...
Posted:
3/28/2009 6:34:25 AM
OP
congratulations to you and also to those who lived it, for taking control of your life...
this has been one of the best threads i've thus far read ...
cheers!!
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
102 (
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted:
3/28/2009 6:20:22 AM
i agree with arabianangels 101 post...
i too wish you the best OP, my fingers are crossed!!
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
3 (
view
)
why him?
Posted:
3/27/2009 5:35:46 AM
you feel he's the one cos you've known him since you were 13
and....
you're afraid of moving on, just in case you find yourself alone
unfortunately, because of your 'need' to rescue, be with, have and love him, you're missing out on possibily meeting the best - which equates to a happy you... anyway,
i think post 2 has it right - low self esteem
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
21 (
view
)
I'm not sure if I did the right thing???
Posted:
3/27/2009 12:28:02 AM
OP
two wrongs don't make a right
poor kids
it's bad enough seeing his mum bashed!!
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
23 (
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You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted:
3/26/2009 11:33:32 PM
Hope it works out OP
Btw: Has he really accepted your multiple dating?
Maybe in his head, he's thinking you're the one but if you're still dating others, it's possible he may not be the one....
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
23 (
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)
I've created an unhappy and whiny kid...now what do I do?
Posted:
3/26/2009 10:46:20 PM
OP
i suggest you speak to his teachers. school have counsellors that maybe able to help him deal with his father and what's happening in his little world..
unhappy, happy
kids need rules (direction), consistency, firmness (boundaries) delivered with love.
it gives them a sense of security as well as ownership of their own behaviours. don'tsunderestimate a child's ability to take control of his own behaviour. however, it doesn't just happen. he needs to be guided through it.
good luck!!
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
14 (
view
)
You are everything I ever wanted in a woman...
Posted:
3/26/2009 9:54:47 PM
OP
i think you need to let him know he's giving you mixed messages
it's the foreplay without the big ' O'... FRUSTRATING!!
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
3 (
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)
Cheating, unhappy & married with kids
Posted:
3/26/2009 9:49:42 PM
Is he trying to protect his wife and son?
Or is he trying to protect himself?
What ever happened to the golden rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you?"
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
33 (
view
)
She's not ready for another relationship, what should I do?
Posted:
3/26/2009 9:25:12 PM
OP
You've created Joan into the 'girl for you', 'the woman of your dreams', 'your girl', 'your dream girl'. I think everyone whose dated and fallen in love have at the time wished the one they 'first fell for' was THE ONE!
Joan may very well be the one for you, but the timing is wrong...
Sounds like you're both approaching this friendship thing with common sense
She was upfront
She's dealing with her past
And she still values your friendship
If you can deal with the friendship thing... good luck to the friendship
If you can handle being the one to pick up the pieces... don't blame her in a few years time when she doesnt see you or appreciate you for what you could be to her...a friend and a lover...
cheers!!
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
13 (
view
)
As a single parent, would you consider
Posted:
3/26/2009 5:32:18 AM
i would like to remain in my own home and he in his...
since my oldest still live with me and my youngest visit on weekends...
it's their home
however, if both my children were in their own homes
then i would want to live in the same house as him - actually, to be honest - the thought is frightening!!
i've lived on my own (with children) for 8 years...
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
10 (
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)
Your interpretation of a single parent...
Posted:
3/26/2009 5:28:29 AM
when i chose to be on my own and had custody of our children
i was a single parent and recognised as that by the state, since my children were with me 24/7
my ex husband, was a single man with children who lived with their mother
men i've dated have distinguished the two very well
dad with children, living with ex
single dad, children living with him
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
25 (
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)
can i win custody of my wee girls as a dad
Posted:
3/26/2009 5:22:11 AM
OP
are there any professionals that can help you?
eg. doctors, teachers, paediatrician
if your children are living the life you described it must affect their health and their schooling - speak to those professionals, you don't need to disclose your personal crisis. as a concerning parent, you have a right to be informed off their progress, unless there's a court order regarding your communicating to the SOs in your children's life...
good luck!
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
8 (
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)
I've created an unhappy and whiny kid...now what do I do?
Posted:
3/26/2009 5:11:54 AM
create a 'time out' room for unacceptable behaviours (ensure the room is a safeplace)
tell him about the 'time out' room
tell him it's where he will be placed when he whines
tell him he will stay in the 'time out' room until he's ready to stop the whining
when he whines
place him in the room
close the door
wait outside (2 minutes)
pop your head in and ask if he's going to whine again
if he says 'yes' keep him in there
wait outside for another two minutes
check again...
don't give up until he's ready to come out
be firm
be consistent
he will test your consitency and firmness
loose your cool and you've lost the plot
like adults children through guidance learn what's acceptable and whats appropriate
qrah
Joined:
7/12/2008
Msg:
14 (
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)
Women & Sex
Posted:
3/26/2009 4:38:43 AM
OP
women in their 40s at are at their sexual best
they're more confident and more aware of their own sexuality
so, as already suggested, seek the help of a sex therapist - you may learn more about your sexual self...
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