Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's? chat & forums.

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Thread: Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's? Posted: 4/6/2009 5:11:04 AM
I am attracted to certain women of all ages, BUT the ones I'm most attracted to are within a ten year span of my age. My idea of attraction is physical but only combined with mental and maturity levels that are near the same as mine. Me with a 75 year old? I shouldn't shudder but I can't help it. When I'm 75 I'll still want some one in my age range. Me with a 25 year old? Even if they weren't covered in ink and piercings and could carry on a conversation, what the hell would we have in common? That I loved her Mommy too?

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 276 (view)

Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter? Posted: 4/6/2009 4:50:34 AM
I'm sure most men also feel an element of "nervousness". Women aren't the only gender at our age that have scars, a 2 pack where a 6 pack used to be, gravity starting to mess with parts..... etc. I'm one of the lucky ones.... I have the perfect body, but it's in the trunk and beginning to smell. Everyone has different likes and dislikes. Kinks and turn offs. Most of my apprehension is about the ability to give her pleasure. Even though I rarely am not successful to some degree, it's the first time with a new person and there is always a bit of that element.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Dating non-experiences Posted: 4/4/2009 8:29:49 AM
I'd be very curious about statistics from those "serious" members. I'd be willing to bet it happens with them as often as with the others. So far I haven't seen a "serious" member that I was interested in so I can't personally say whether they are more valid or not.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Dating non-experiences Posted: 4/4/2009 8:04:12 AM
I have had some great correspondences that have sooner or later led up to a date. If I say I want to meet someone, I'm serious about it. Because of my remote area I usually travel 70 to 100 miles to meet the closest ones. A few ladies have even impressed me by meeting me halfway. My source of income is not a 9 to 5 thing so I can usually go any day, anytime. My schedule is rarely set in stone. I'd say at least half of the time, a lady will say, "yes, let's meet" and when it comes right down to setting a time and place, it turns to "soon" or "sometime". Worse yet, transparent bull sh*t (cough, cough..... I'm sick for the next month..... my dog ate your contact information..... etc.). What's up with this? Why do people say they're interested and say they want to get together and then play games and disappear? Why are they even on this site? Sure, for the forums or looking for e-mail pals but the majority are on here to meet someone, no? Is this just something to stroke their ego? Do that many get cold feet? Why say it if you don't mean it? I'm sure this probably happens to everyone, maybe somebody can shed some light on it. Especially the "game players"..... men and women.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

IS THIS normal realtionship issue??? Posted: 3/28/2009 8:16:20 AM
Run baby, run.... or stop, turn and empty a clip. Wait..... that's illegal isn't it?

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 51 (view)

Am I old fashion or are guys better looking in jeans and a tee? Posted: 3/28/2009 8:03:24 AM
As a guy who wears nothing but jeans, boots, Harley tees and flannel shirts my answer would be obvious and biased. We are the hottest. Yep. Just ask me.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 72 (view)

who takes the first step? Posted: 3/28/2009 7:56:17 AM
If no one made an initial contact POF would be out of business in a day. It works both ways. Don't sweat it and send a quick note to everyone you are really interested in. Trust me, it may take a dozen contacts to get a reply, but don't take it personally. Start casting brother.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Self-Employed vs. Un-employed vs. Employed Posted: 3/28/2009 7:44:11 AM
I think it means just that.... self employed. Your business could be wildly successful or squeaking you by, so that should be up for later discussion. I feel that way so I always put something ridiculous in my occupation description. If they aren't interested in how much or how little I make, that's the kind of non-materialist woman I want to be with anyway.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

RestrictionMust Not Have Messaged Users For Intimate Encounters Posted: 3/28/2009 6:38:24 AM
Blueskies123...... are you SURE about that? I honestly do not think I messaged more than one, I'm pretty positive. What if there were two? I certainly do not have a history of doing that. Not busted.... no bullsh*t.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

Why are so many in such a hurry to meet...? Posted: 3/28/2009 6:33:33 AM
The way you want to do it is the way it should be done then. To each his own. I can see valid points from both sides of the spectrum. However I tend to agree with those that prefer not to relay endless e-mails. After a few exchanges, if both people are interested they should at least talk on the phone. Just an idea of the persons personality or intelligence has squelched it right there for me, as I'm sure it has for them in some cases too. If the phone goes well and thinks seem to click then why not meet? It's the last (or first) step in seeing if that mutual spark is there. If you're serious, get out there and do it!

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Restriction"Must Not Have Messaged Users For Intimate Encounters" Posted: 3/28/2009 6:14:34 AM
I joined this site last July. Shortly after that I had a moment of weakness and sent a message to someone who was looking for an intimate encounter. I never heard back from her and I was relieved. One of those things I regret doing a split second after I hit the "send" button. I also have this restriction on my profile because this is the opposite of the type of relationship I am looking for. Since then I have come across some profiles that I definitely would have made an initial contact had it not been for that restriction. I chalk it up to "my bad, my loss" and move on. My problem: A lady from my area (remote and few) has recently joined POF. After seeing her and reading her limited profile, I HAD to contact her. The problem is that restriction, she has it also. I noticed after the fact that she had viewed my profile before I saw hers. I added her to my favorites, anything to get noticed. I know it's against the rules to create another profile and that would be deceptive anyway. I know of a few people who have done it but I choose not to. I wish POF would give you amnesty after 6 months or a year. It just doesn't work that way. If I could find a way to circumvent this, I would and then on initial contact would tell her the truth. My profile says I'm an honest man and I am. What should I do? Any ideas? Am I screwed up for even dwelling on it? Should I just treat it as the others and shrug it off? I think I know what kind of answers I'll likely get, but at least it was good therapy to put it out there.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 225 (view)

New Serious Member Feature. Posted: 3/28/2009 5:40:59 AM
I obviously am not alone in thinking this is the best dating site out there by far, paid or free membership. The fact that it is free, flows seamlessly, has many great features and options and doesn't block e-mail or phone number exchanges and so on, makes it so popular. I think if you want to keep the gold badge and give it as many perks as you like it shouldn't really matter to any of us...... as long as our current free membership access is not going to be restricted from any benefits we currently enjoy.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

Ignorance as bliss? Smart vs happy? Posted: 3/16/2009 4:33:00 AM
Ignorance does not mean below average intelligence. Ignorance is simply not being informed of or familiar with a certain subject. For example: a neurosurgeon might know absolutely nothing about digging ditches. You ask "what if we knew the day of our death or what the stock market is going to do ?". That has nothing to do with being smart. It is fortune telling, being clairvoyant or omnipotent..... whatever you want to call it. Ignorance = unaware. If you are unaware of something that is frightening to you, then I think, if it's not dangerous or harmful to you, being unaware of that subject or environment would not cause stress and that can leave you happy. I do not think ignorance is blissful. The two are possibly remote factors that would cause us to be happy.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Science fear Posted: 3/12/2009 4:16:22 AM
I don't believe that science itself is "scary". I think that what man can use science for, as in evil versus good, is the troubling issue. That goes hand in hand with science and morality issues, for example stem cell research. Now back to my laboratory to create more paranoia inducing secret potions. MUAAAAH!!!!

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 141 (view)

prefer not to say...WTF??? Posted: 3/7/2009 10:22:02 AM
Gwendolyn2008 I agree totally with you about profession. That can be a sensitive area and if your profession equals high income or low income, then if you put something "fantastical" as you recommend, it weeds out those who are materialistic. That's why I put "Village Idiot" in that spot. If you see that and care to read the rest of my profile then you will find that I'm not in the Rich and Famous category.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 140 (view)

prefer not to say...WTF??? Posted: 3/7/2009 10:14:39 AM
I agree with the majority of people that "prefer not to say" basically means YES in most situations..... however in the smoking, drinking and drugs categories there are other options, namely, "occasionally" or "socially". In my case that is not deceit. I seldom drink but when I do I also smoke, so "occasionally" is valid and not deceitful. I didn't know that body type had a "prefer not to say" option. This is where I have found the most deceit or maybe it is disillusion or self perception. I can't tell you how many times I have met someone only to find that they are at best "a few extra pound" or even obese when they actually have said "average". Average is a wide ranging category (no pun intended) and average for a 20 year old is different than average for a 50 year old. In that category I really wish it would narrow it down (again.... no pun intended) to height and weight. I would much rather meet and date someone who is a few extra pounds than someone who is a little overweight and says "athletic" or "average". Of course even then there will always be liars.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 63 (view)

Dropping your number to women Posted: 3/7/2009 6:18:11 AM
Looks like you hit some nerves. Good topic though. Focus first on the original thought and your feelings on it. I agree. When women make an initial contact and give their number or e-mail it does raise questions. On the other hand, there seems to be far too many that want to engage in endless e-mails and say they want to meet but keep stringing it along. A second or third correspondence and it is time to talk live and in person and then decide if we want to take it farther.... to a first meeting. As far as dating sites goes, this is the best one. I strongly disagree about getting what you pay for. In my cynical opinion, dating sites that charge $40 a month get no better results and have less of a selection of local women to choose from. Why would a "pay for view" site want to hook people up immediately? Is it not in their best financial interest to keep paying member paying for as long as possible? As far as the "numbers game" goes.... the more people you are genuinely interested in and contact, the better the chance of meeting that right one. For me it is not about seeing how many people you can waste your time messaging with. Here's one you will probably blast me for. If you live in LA, why would you need a dating site when there are millions to choose from? Go out and do what you do, chances are you will meet someone and know right away if there is physical attraction and after talking for a few minutes know if there is a mental connection too. Think about us poor population starved "loosers" (sic) in MT.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 455 (view)

WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS? Posted: 2/3/2009 3:06:40 PM
You answered your own question and you're absolutely right. See: Thread: How do you feel when you see married w/kids?

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

lack of experience Posted: 2/3/2009 11:50:55 AM
The right guy will appreciate you for who you are or aren't... what you or haven't done. Make sure that is what he is before you leave yourself vulnerable.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 50 (view)

How do you feel when you see married w/kids? Posted: 2/3/2009 11:47:06 AM
Go with what you feel is right for you. It may never change or someday it might. There's nothing wrong with either "lifestyle", as long as it works for you.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Did you ever HIGH FIVE your partner after sex? Posted: 1/31/2009 2:38:59 PM
Can't say that I have, but it is an amusing thought. Would a fist bump be appropriate? The silliest thing I ever did after sex was to introduce myself and exchange numbers.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

Major Picture Issues Posted: 1/31/2009 2:20:38 PM
Is he asking too much for you to crop him out of the photo? Why are you so insistent that he remain in it? Is that the only photo you have to post? The Internet is a public domain, but considerate people will respect others feelings no matter what the reason. To answer your question..... yes, there are countless valid reasons for "such behavior".

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

Porn/sex chat sites addiction Posted: 8/24/2008 7:16:16 PM
You mention that you can't leave because of your financial obligations. You're not married. Kick him out. Do whatever it takes. He betrayed you. I know a couple who got a divorce over the exact same situation. The difference was that her husband was posting explicit pictures of her with his adds. Or is that the case with you too? Are you sure?

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Hybrid Cars / Alternative Fuels Posted: 8/5/2008 9:05:28 PM
Wow, I am impressed. The majority of you are very well informed and have introduced fact and ideas that really helps me to understand beyond the political spin. Refreshing to hear such productive and intelligent feedback. That is the reason for posting a question in a forum. Aside from the few inevitable sarcastic know-it-all comments this has been very helpful to me so far. Thank you. As far as my "tree hugger" comment attempting to interject a little levity, I know that I deserve some flame for that. It is a very serious matter.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Hybrid Cars / Alternative Fuels Posted: 8/5/2008 1:39:14 PM
Does anyone see the current attempted solutions at stemming the energy crisis and related "greenhouse gases" (supposed global warming) as futile? Two examples: 1) The production of corn based ethanol fuels takes more energy to produce than the fuels we currently use. It also drives up the price of corn. Corn based products are used in almost every consumer item. This is already causing a worldwide shortage of corn. 2) Electric powered vehicles need to be charged. This obviously uses electricity which comes from power plants, of which many use fossil fuels to produce electricity. Is it really an advantageous solution? Am I misinformed or lacking an understanding of how this works? It surely seems like there must be better, more efficient methods to supply our energy needs. It seems as though we aren't much closer to a real solution than the "good old days" of wood or coal fired steam powered engines. I think I'll grab a granola bar, hug a tree and ponder the situation.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Ok,Question 2 - Do animals have souls? Posted: 7/30/2008 11:47:08 PM
I agree that people interpret the Bible in many different ways. Without imposing my specific beliefs on the subject, I do believe that if you think that animals have souls and are wrong, that God is not going to condemn you to Hell for that. If it gives you some comfort to believe that to help you to deal with the loss of a beloved pet, that is not a sin. Has anyone ever read "The Rainbow Bridge" in the book "Chicken Soup For The Pet Lovers Soul"?

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

TRAVEL OR SETTLE DOWN? Posted: 7/30/2008 11:15:08 PM
I have traveled constantly for most of my life. It is in some peoples blood. I did settle down and got married, but when that came to an unfortunate end, I was on the road again. I waited until I was 37 to get married. I say TRAVEL! Do it while you're able. Unless you have a specific person that you are considering settling down with then go West, young man! Or any compass heading that compels you. Go whichever way the wind blows. You won't be sorry and you'll meet lots of people. You just might end up crossing paths with the one that you want to settle with or join together as traveling companions..

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

2 dates, he calls 3 times a day....... Posted: 7/26/2008 2:55:51 PM
I'd be happy to help you understand men. I'll be sure and get back to you as soon as I figure me out.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 69 (view)

Does sex get better after you hit 40? Posted: 7/26/2008 2:48:21 PM
As long as you keep your hands on the wheel and your eyes up on the road. Otherwise you should find a place to park.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Dating over the US/Canada border Posted: 7/25/2008 2:03:29 PM
I'm guessing that you have never gone through customs before. You only need to give them a general answer, not your itinerary. If you are that concerned about it then tell them you are going sightseeing or shopping. In a sense isn't that what you will be doing anyway? As long as you aren't a felon or are trying to smuggle illegal aliens, drugs, bombs or anything else illegal then there's no reason to sweat it.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

ETHNIC ATTRACTION... Posted: 7/25/2008 1:46:24 PM
Why some are attracted to certain races and why some are not is the same as why some are attracted to, or not attracted to other traits, body type, income, occupation, the list is infinite. That does not equal discrimination, it isn't even in the same realm. Personally, I have seen and been attracted physically by some in every race that I can think of. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

People that lie, constantly. Posted: 7/25/2008 1:00:50 PM
I believe people who lie about who are what they are generally have low self esteem. Others who are "mysterious" or elusive are probably hiding something, they could be married or in a relationship. I have known some people who constantly lie, even about such insignificant things like what they had for dinner. Maybe those are the compulsive liar types. One thing I'll never understand is why some people tell different lies to different people about the same subject or incident. They can never remember who they told what and can't keep their stories straight for long.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Instant Profile Help! Posted: 7/18/2008 1:55:38 PM
I can see how that would make me so much more individual and desirable. Let's see if I can get the hang of it.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 93 (view)

10 Worst Pick up lines Posted: 7/18/2008 12:24:15 PM
Say absolutely nothing. Just walk up to her, smile, and lick your eyebrows. If I had a nickel for every girl I've seen that looks as good as you, I'd have five cents. (It worked once!). My face or yours? Care to bump uglies? Can I smell your feet? She says "absolutely not". Then it must be your pu**y. Hi. I'm just two girls shy of a threesome. I'm wearing my Burger King pants. Home of the Whopper. If you actually get a girl to go to dinner with you, when the waiter asks what kind of salad you want, stare into your dates eyes and say "lettuce alone with no dressing".

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Instant Profile Help! Posted: 7/18/2008 11:42:38 AM
First Date: Yes please. HEY, I resemble that remark. Am I supposed to put "No thanks, just here to play head games"? Should I try.... Fart contest. Staring into each others good eye. Puppy kicking. BDSM. Bring a friend and I'll choose the lucky winner. Watch grass grow. Swap bodily fluids. Rape, pillage and burn. Let me petition the warden to put you on my visitors list. Bring file cake. Stutter, stammer and regurgitate. My personal favorites in the "About Me" box... Like dressing to the nines: What the hell does that mean? What if I like them only dressed to the fives? I'm as comfortable in an evening gown and heels as I am in jeans and boots: Would that mean you are also comfy in an evening gown and boots? I could go on and on but luckily for you I just had another carpel tunnel syndrome attack.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 451 (view)

18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man? Posted: 7/18/2008 7:16:35 AM
Maybe she has "daddy issues". I would like some of that. Refer her to me. Seriously, I doubt it would work due to maturity and life experience differences.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 67 (view)

would guys date a female cop? Posted: 7/18/2008 6:56:51 AM
Sure, especially if she had access to the evidence room. Filled with goodies to delight any mans Christmas wish list. The question is, would she date me after a search on the NCIS?

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 55 (view)

Am I the only Guy who wants a relationship more than sex Posted: 7/18/2008 6:42:31 AM
Are we a rarity? It seems so. No, you aren't the only guy like that. I do love sex but holding hands, snuggling, kisses and mental closeness is, for me, just as important and equally enjoyable. It does sound strange coming from a male, doesn't it?

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 62 (view)

Dating an Alcoholic Posted: 7/17/2008 12:52:11 PM
Don't walk. RUN away. Things will not change. Been there, done that, got the tee shirt.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 59 (view)

Did you cum YET? Posted: 7/17/2008 12:14:21 PM
If you have to ask, then no, she didn't. Some are more subdued about it, others cum buckets and scream like she's being murdered. In either case you will know if you're paying attention.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 74 (view)

For women, oral sex from behind? Posted: 7/17/2008 12:01:10 PM
I'm not self promoting here but I love to give face and have been told that I'm great at it. I've even heard "best ever" a couple of times. I think the more the guy enjoys doing it, gets turned on by seeing her get off, then the better experience she will have. All women are different but from what I know, most enjoy it. Either discuss turn ons and turn offs with her or go slow and judge by their reaction. Variety is good.

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Flirting Too Long Posted: 7/17/2008 11:35:53 AM
There's a lot of that out there, and it's not just sexual. They can correspond for a reasonable length of time but when it comes down to actually meeting....... There are lots of different reasons that people do this but whatever the reason why waste your time unless you just want a pen pal?

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 70 (view)

Why Do Guys Say They Want Long Term if They Just Want an Intimate Encounter? Posted: 7/15/2008 2:47:31 PM
It's too bad we have to be restricted to just one answer in what we're seeking. Ultimately a long term relationship is what I want but it has to start with talk/e-mail, hang out, dating, friendship and so on. As far as why some guys are liars and players, why are some women liars and into head games? Some people just have issues and you have to weed them out. Wouldn't this world be much better if everyone said what they meant and meant what they said?

Real Steel

Joined: 7/12/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

How far would you travel? Posted: 7/15/2008 2:24:25 PM
Because of the remote location I live in I would have to expect to travel at least 100 miles each way. I would probably go up to 250 miles once a week. Gas prices are really a factor these days too. Ideally it would be every other week, one week I travel there the next week she travels here.

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