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snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

Would you ever consider? Posted: 7/4/2009 10:44:38 PM
OP, I'm sure you have plenty of people to talk to, but if you ever feel like talking, email me. I was in a wheelchair for six mths. Long story, I'd be happy to tell you if you want to talk. Anyway, I can definitely understand your frustration. I think it's hard for people to see someone in a wheelchair and really truly understand what it's like unless they've experienced it themselves. I know being in one myself completely changed my views. Wish you the best! :-)

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 170 (view)

Justifying Cheating? Posted: 7/4/2009 6:29:18 PM
If he doesn't want to lose everything he's worked so hard for he needs to sit down and have an actual conversation with her about where the intimacy has gone and why. Together, they need to figure out how to get it back!!!! It's not impossible. Wonder if he's even talked to her or tried to restore the intimacy?

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

When is the time to stop checking your profile? Posted: 5/2/2009 7:59:16 AM
It seems like the "out of curiosity" would end if you really like and are serious about him. So, whenever you're not curious or interested in who's e-mailing you other than him, you should stop. Not logging onto POF to check out other profiles or see who has sent you a message isn't rushing him! It just means you're interested in only him and you don't care what's going on with POF, I would say that's a good thing ;-D

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

I dont know if I'm coming or going. Posted: 5/2/2009 7:35:01 AM
I agree with Sidwinder. Sounds like she's messing with your head. She probably has no idea what she wants. Sounds like she isn't sure if she wants to be with you or not, but just doesn't like the idea of you being with someone else. I would forget about it for now and move on. Give her time to figure it out if you're really interested, but she kind of sounds like trouble to me.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Should I give her another chance? Posted: 5/2/2009 7:20:52 AM
She sounds like a major drama queen!!!! I think getting out now is definitely the right decision! I'm not the kind of person that likes drama and I stay away from it whenever possible, so she would drive me crazy!!! Unless you're interested in daily drama, get out now.....

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 33 (view)

Do i delete my exs number? Posted: 8/28/2008 12:07:27 AM
You don't have it memorized? I guess it's probably just me, when I see a number, I almost always commit it to memory. Especially if it's a number I dial/see often. Not on purpose. If it makes you feel better, delete it. It probably won't stop you from wanting to contact her somehow though. You just have to work on separating yourself from her emotionally. The more you do that, the less you'll be tempted to contact her. Good luck!

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 61 (view)

Hillary's speech at the convention Posted: 8/27/2008 10:34:32 AM
"WOW! That parrots exactly all the points that the talking heads on FOX NOISE said right after her speech. At that time I thought no one can believe what noise they are saying, they were grasping at straws looking for something bad to say. As if she could have covered all bases in such a short amount of time. If she only praise Obama about his character, then they would have said she dissed his wife by not saying the same about her. All those FOX NOISE points make no sense at all." Actually, I opted to watch CNN and their commentary after the speech instead of Fox. So, those were my thoughts, thanks! :-)

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

Hillary's speech at the convention Posted: 8/27/2008 12:21:23 AM
I have to say I've never been a Hillary supporter, but she did WONDERFULLY tonight!!!!!! I was very impressed with her. It made me want to vote for her (emotion-wise as a woman). Too bad she's not on the ticket (I'm not being sarcastic here). I did find it interesting that she called McCain her friend in her speech. As far as I remember (or maybe I didn't notice) she didn't say Obama was her friend. She did clearly state that the only choice for President was Obama. She didn't, however, state any other reasons for that other than the fact that he is the Democratic candidate. She didn't say anything about his character, his strength or him being a wonderful person or anything like that. She did say his wife would be a good first lady and Biden would be a good VP. I just thought that was kind of interesting. Overall, her speech was excellent and if Obama doesn't win this election, she has certainly cleared the way for a successful 2012 run. My favorite part was the "Sisterhood of the travelling pantsuits" comment! haha I thought that was hilarious! She's always made fun of for those things so I thought it was great that she took a swipe at those mockers!! :-) GO HILLARY!!!!!!!

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

What is your favorite outdoor activity? Posted: 8/26/2008 5:50:58 PM
I love going for morning runs! If I get a chance to go to the beach (i'm only about 2 1/2 hours from Myrtle Beach) that's my absolute favorite thing to do! I'm not good at laying out, but I love doing anything in the water! Jet skiing is a fav of mine.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Is this a common trend, allowing a friend to takeover your profile? Posted: 8/26/2008 5:45:32 PM
Haha I've never heard that before either. If someone deletes your message without responding that's a pretty clear sign that they aren't interested in chatting with you :-) Shake it off and send out your next message :-)

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 114 (view)

A lot of women don't like sex? Posted: 8/21/2008 10:27:57 PM
Xfile, As far as women not speaking up if they aren't enjoying it, you're right about that. I did misunderstand what you were saying. Thanks for clarifying :-) I don't know how any woman could be that unaware of her own body. "Pleasure, that's why! Why on earth do you go shoe shopping whenever you have free time? Because you like it. And if you don't like something, you generally avoid it, and don't do. Which is exactly my point about women and sex." My point on that one was that if the woman doesn't think or know that she will receive pleasure out of it, it would be stupid to do it just to make the guy happy. I think I might be misunderstanding a lot of what you're saying. haha So, when you said if it doesn't matter if it's a toy or a penis, you were assuming that both would give the same result. Correct? I thought you meant that if she didn't think the man would satisfy her and she knew her toy would, she should go for the man anyway since that would make "him" happy. That's not what you meant, is it? "He could be terrible in bed. He could be excellent in bed. You don't know which is the case until you get in bed." Yeah, I definitely would never get into bed with a man purely for the pleasure of sex not having any clue if he were good or bad. At least if you're in a relationship with the guy and he turns out to be bad in bed you have other things in common and you can work to make the sex better. If you get into bed with a random man and he's terrible, you've just wasted your time (assuming he's terrible and you didn't get any pleasure out of it). "So you get tons of pleasure from a toy, but not from a penis? And if you do get pleasure from a penis, then you are not only making him happy, and you are also making you happy. You don't like being happy?" I am in no way claiming that using a toy is better than being with a man. I think our difference here is that you're assuming the woman would get pleasure from the man and I'm assuming she wouldn't (based on him being bad in bed which is what I mentioned earlier in that post). If it's pleasurable for both and makes both of them happy, heck yeah, the real thing is 1000000x better!!!! But, with a man you don't know, you have no idea whether or not he would be any good and why waste time with that if there are no other strings attached (emotionally)? "Which begs the question, why do women desire relationships so much? Women would actually put off sex for a relationship... which if you think about is a darn good excuse not to have sex. Can you explain why a relationship is a must in order to have sex? For a women, is attraction enough to have sex with a guy?" Because men and women are made differently. That's just the simple, pure truth of it. Women want relationships (sex is usually secondary) and men want sex (relationships are usually secondary). That's just the way it is. It's not going to change anytime soon, no matter how mad it makes you! haha Women could say the same about men wanting sex over relationships claiming that relationships are much more fulfilling than sex. No man would probably agree with that. WE'RE DIFFERENT! That's the bottom line answer to your question. No, attraction is not enough for most women to have sex with a guy. "F*ck'em... not literally of course. Why are you wasting your time with guys like that?" These are not guys I've dated (or would date), just friends. Sex comes up a lot in conversation with male friends (big surprise, huh?!) haha :-) "Okay. Why do you care about their opinion?" I'm not saying I care about their opinion, just that that opinion is out there and there are a lot of women that do care about it. I'm very conservative and that's just me. My opinions matter much more to me than any man's opinion. I would hope that men and women alike would care more about what they personally thought or felt about something than what anyone else said/thought/felt about it.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 54 (view)

A lot of women don't like sex? Posted: 8/20/2008 12:50:06 AM
"All sex in a relationship takes place "one night stand" at a time... think about it. What makes you sure your long term partner won't leave tomorrow? I guess this would be a good time to point out that it happens more than 50% of the time... that's the divorce rate. So I must ask... how is that different?" The difference is that at least you would know that both of you had invested time and energy into actually having a real relationship with each other and it just didn't work out in the end. It wasn't some cheap tryst, it actually meant something to both of you (in most cases anyway). "I'm glad you brought it up. If you think about it, the women who has been with 100 men is more experienced, less curious, has seen what's out there, and if she really wants me after all this that tells me a lot! If you are talking about "vagina mileage" then I claim that the one who slept with 100 men is no different than the one who slept with 1 one man but did it 100 times." No, I wasn't talking about "vagina mileage". I was talking about the fact that she was willing to go to bed with anybody and everybody that wanted to sleep with her. By the way, she could be wanting you because none of the other guys wanted her after knowing how many men she had actually been with, so she's settling for you since you'll accept it. I should say that "you" was hypothetical, I'm not implying that no woman would want you (xfile) at all, I'm sure you could get the woman of your choice "That would bother me... but not because some guy did her, but because he found the need to point it out in public." Seriously? We are talking about men here, right? haha I'm not saying all men are pigs or anything like that, but you know men talk to each other about who they "hooked up" with If he's sees a woman he's "hooked up" with while he's out with a "buddy" he's most likely going to boast about it. "I wouldn't like to be in that position either, but for a different reason. The guy is a prick! Why? Because he degraded the women while he is guilty of the very something! If she had sex with him, he had sex with her! Do you see the hypocrisy? Why would any woman listen to guy like that?" I couldn't agree with you more on that one. However, the sad truth is that the guy that told me that is not the only guy that feels that way AND he is not the only guy that has told me that. For some reason, some men have a double standard when it comes to sex. If a man sleeps with 100 women, he's considered a "stud". If a woman sleeps with 100 men, she's considered a "slut". Here's something that will make you laugh!!!! I actually had a guy tell me that he wanted to marry a virgin even though he wasn't a virgin himself. When I told him he was nuts and there was no way he should expect that his response was, "It's different for men" HUH????????? That's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. My point is, believe it or not, there are plenty of weird men out there that think this way.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

A lot of women don't like sex? Posted: 8/20/2008 12:31:59 AM
"I agree, a woman should take responsibility for her own orgasm, but taking that to the extreme, why bother with the complications of involving a man at all?" "I think someone else made that point... I will reply here anyway. I will try to brief for I really want to stick to the subject. The answer is simple... a man is good for more than just sex. If it was otherwise, and you honestly believed that a guy was good just for sex, then you ladies wouldn't be looking for relationships." Of course we agree that a man is good for MUCH more than just sex!!! That's the point, we want all that stuff too. Not just the sex. You had said in an earlier post something along the lines of "oh it's the man's responsibility to make sure you come too?" something like that, I'm not sure what your exact words were. But, your point (or what I perceived it to be anyway) was that a woman was responsible for giving herself an orgasm when she is having sex with a man. My point (and a few of the other ladies' points as well) was if we're supposed to be responsible to make sure we get an orgasm anyway, why not cut out the man and make sure we get one ourselves? Of course, this is based on the premise that the woman is having sex with a random man, not someone that she is in an actual relationship with. Why would a woman want to deal with having sex with a man just for the pleasure of it when she doesn't get the pleasure because he's too lazy to make sure she O's when she can have an equally unemotional one night stand type sexual encounter with a toy? On top of that, with a toy, there is no risk of STD's or pregnancy or any type of emotional pain (having him reject her after or being called a slut or promiscuous). Then you said, "If it really doesn't matter to you whether it's the toy or a real penis, why not make a guy happy?" Why on earth would any woman do that???? Example, "Hhhhmm...this guy is attractive, but I know this is going to be a one time thing and he only wants me for sex. There is a possibility that he could be terrible in bed and I might not get any pleasure out of it anyway. On the other hand, I could just go home and use a toy and make sure I get TONS of pleasure!! No, I think I'll have sex with him just to make him happy even if I'll never see or talk to him again and I get no pleasure out of it. I really want to make him happy." If a woman thought that way, I think she should be committed to an insane asylum!!!!! hahaha Please tell me you weren't serious with that comment!!!!

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

A lot of women don't like sex? Posted: 8/19/2008 1:42:31 PM
"So it's a man's responsibility to make the woman come? Come on now... if you really enjoyed sex you wouldn't wait for the guy to make you come. You'd make sure you got what you want." In that case, what does the woman need the man for?? Haha They have plenty of toys for women to use. Why bother with a man if he doesn't even care whether she gets off or not? I'm just sayin'............

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

A lot of women don't like sex? Posted: 8/19/2008 1:39:01 PM
Thanks! My mother is a very wise woman haha ;-) 1) I would say that is a fair assumption, yes. I can only speak for myself, but I would never consider having sex with someone that I wasn't in a serious relationship with. 2) I don't really think there should be a compromise on that. Every person, men and women, have every right to do what they want with their own bodies. It is their body. It is a very personal thing. If a man respects a woman enough, he will respect her choice to wait until she is ready to be intimate with him. In my opinion, sex was designed to be something incredible, but within the bounds of a relationship. If I was friends with a man or was dating a man and he knew that I didn't want to have sex with him until we were more serious and he didn't respect that, I would tell him to get lost. I have no desire to sleep with any man that wants to. Yes, I enjoy sex (a lot actually). No, I would not enjoy sex with just anybody. Some women in this thread have mentioned that some men don't consider what the woman needs to make sex enjoyable for her. For example, he gets off but doesn't take the time to make sure that she does. That kind of "sex" is enjoyable for the man, but not for the woman. If you're in a relationship with someone it is unlikely that if you have sex with them what you give won't be reciprocated. If they care about you and love you, they will want to make sure that you are fulfilled by the experience. A one night stand probably (I can't say for sure since I've never had the experience) could not care less if you are fulfilled. All they would care about is if they got what THEY wanted out of the escapade. So, this is an obvious concern for women. They may not necessarily get what they want out of that sexual experience, whereas a man almost certainly will. So, it is more likely that they will "enjoy" and be "fulfilled" by having sex with someone that cares about them and their pleasure than some random man that they choose to have sex with. 3) This depends entirely on the woman. Speaking for myself, heck no. But, I know plenty of women that look at sex completely differently than I do and will jump into bed with anyone that wants to jump in with them and enjoy it. For me, part of the enjoyment is knowing that I'm with someone that I love and I can look into his eyes and know that he feels exactly the same way about me. I can't imagine actually enjoying sex with a man knowing that it was probably going to be a one night stand and he would be onto another woman the next day or the next week or whatever. I'm just not interested in that. There are definitely women that are, so I'm sure you could find someone like that if that's really what you're looking for :-) But, don't get upset with the ones that want more than just the physical aspect of sex. We're just built differently than men. There will always be women who are willing to have sex with random men and are able to enjoy it that way and there will always be women that require more than that to actually enjoy it. 4) I've never personally heard a woman say that. My guess would be that she doesn't want to be just another notch on his belt. She may have an emotional attachment to him, but she would want to know that the attachment was mutual before hopping into bed with him. Just my guess. I want to add something here. When you think of a woman that you would want to marry, would you rather have a woman that has had sex with 100's of men just because she could and she enjoyed it, or would you prefer to have someone that had only had sex with a few men that she had been in a serious relationship with? My guess is that you wouldn't want to be walking around the mall with your wife and hearing men say, "oh, I banged her" to their friend when you walked past them. Most women want to eventually get married (not all, but most) so they consider this fact (or what we perceive to be a fact) when deciding how to act sexually, promiscuously versus conservatively. I have actually had guys tell me that they would have a one night stand with a woman or sleep with a woman on the first date, but after that they would never consider having a serious relationship with the woman because she put out on the first date. What sane woman wants to put herself into that position???? Definitely not me.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

A lot of women don't like sex? Posted: 8/19/2008 12:52:05 AM
xfile, "In other words, the desire/need for emotional attachment in women is greater than the desire/need for sex, right?" I'd say that's about right. My mom has always taught me that women need to feel loved to make love and men need to make love to feel loved. I don't think of sex as a flippant thing that someone should do just to do. I'll admit, my opinion differs even from a lot of other women. But, in general, women are much more selective when it comes to sex. It doesn't mean that we don't enjoy it. It just means that we don't enjoy it with "just anybody". I hope that makes at least a little bit of sense. The fact is that men and women are made differently and you probably won't understand a lot of things that a woman thinks/does. Just like women don't understand a lot of things that men say/do. Once you learn to accept that, your life will be much easier

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

The worst breakup line ever Posted: 8/18/2008 1:59:05 AM
kmbrlyc1, "He wrote me an email. "I am sorry about you breaking your nose in the softball game and that you could not reach me when it happened. But I have some news, and it may shock you. " (Here is the line) I met a girl two weeks ago at that wedding I went to. She is moving in this Friday and we will be married next month." How's that for the world's boldest kiss off?" HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!! I hope you weren't drinking anything when you read that! I would've spit it out everywhere out of shock! Wow! "It may shock you" Understatement of the year. I'm assuming it was anyway. From being in a relationship with you to moving in and marrying another woman in 2 wks.... amazing. Thank God you got rid of that one! haha

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 108 (view)

Religion takes center stage in Obama-McCain forum Posted: 8/17/2008 4:54:10 PM
Mac, I wasn't "repeating the lie". That quote was from a post earlier in this thread. It just made me sick as I read it. It would be great if it's not true!!!!!! I hope it's not. "So the president should get paid more than god? after all, the US president should be commander in chief over god right?"----------------------Seriously? My point had nothing to do with God. It had to do with human beings in American society. Almost everyone I know has an "opinion" (doesn't mean it's right or wrong) on when life begins. I just don't think he should have skirted the issue, that's all. He clearly has an opinion on it, so he should have stated his opinion instead of using the "above my paygrade" comment. Besides, God doesn't get paid. Sorry, I know that was a dumb comment, but it just popped into my head haha :-) I have a little more to say, but I think I'll leave it at that ;-) I should say that I don't despise Obama and I think he has a lot of good ideas. I just thought his answer to that particular question was cowardly.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 74 (view)

Religion takes center stage in Obama-McCain forum Posted: 8/17/2008 1:19:44 PM
I should add that I wasn't asking that confrontationally, I was honestly asking. Thanks!

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 72 (view)

Religion takes center stage in Obama-McCain forum Posted: 8/17/2008 1:17:34 PM
a bit nomadic, What facts are you saying were manipulated?

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 69 (view)

Religion takes center stage in Obama-McCain forum Posted: 8/17/2008 12:57:02 PM
"Thrice in the Illinois legislature, Obama helped block a bill that was designed solely to protect the life of infants already born, and outside the womb, who had miraculously survived the attempt to kill them during an abortion. Thrice, Obama voted to let doctors and nurses allow these tiny human beings die of neglect and be tossed out with the medical waste." I got very nauseas and felt like I was going to throw up when I read that. ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING AND INEXCUSABLE!!!! I know this has been mentioned in this thread and different people have different opinions on what this meant. But, Obama saying, "That is above my pay-grade" is just ridiculous. I'm sorry, aren't you running for PRESIDENT? Nothing should be above the pay grade of the Commander-In-Chief of the most powerful country in the world. It's not like he doesn't have an opinion on this. According to the way he has voted, he has CLEARLY decided when life begins. He just didn't want to say it....total cop-out. Just my 2 cents.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 110 (view)

First Date Shallowness...I really need some help on this. Posted: 8/15/2008 2:10:40 AM
Aaawww OP!!!! Congratulations on your new relationship!!!!! Don't give the OP a hard time! It was obviously a spectactular first date (on both ends)!I know a couple that married after knowing each other for 2 weeks, and they are still married 65 yrs later!!! I know that's not common in our current society, but I'm a hopeless romantic at heart, so I'd like to think that kind of love is still entirely possible! Best of luck OP and new girlfriend!

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

What the hell, let's give this a try. Posted: 8/3/2008 11:34:15 PM
I think your profile is great! I know that doesn't help you much, but I figured I would tell you anyway haha

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 157 (view)

why do those who give the least, expect the most? Posted: 8/2/2008 10:28:27 PM
That's exactly what I was thinking when she told me!!!!! Basically, they got an Earned Income Credit, plus the deduction for each of their kids (3). They do own a house as well, so I'm sure they got to deduct their mortgage interest. I don't know all of the details, but I do know that they paid $2,000 in and got $8,000 out. Absolutely crazy. On top of all of this, they also get WIC from the state of NC.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 150 (view)

why do those who give the least, expect the most? Posted: 8/2/2008 8:23:29 PM
I have to say I agree with you on this one. I pay A LOT of taxes and I usually get maybe 1/7th of what I paid back at the end of the year. I had a daughter last year, so it was a little bit better this year, but not by much. I understand that if people are poor they should get everything that they paid in taxes that year back because they really just can't afford to put that money out. However, I don't think that they should EVER get back any more than they put in. For example, I have a friend that has 3 children. She is a stay at home mom and her husband is in the Army. He paid approximately $2,000 in Federal taxes in 2007. They got back $8,000!!!!!!!!!!! I won't say how much I paid in, but it was quite a bit more than $8,000 and even with a child, I only got back 1/3 of what I paid out! Needless to say, I was stunned and disgusted by this. Again, I have no problem paying my taxes and helping people that are less fortunate that I am and I do think that if you are below a certain income level that you should be free of Federal taxes. However, how is it ever fair for the government to take money that I paid in and give it to someone else when they are getting back way more than they actually paid in. Which results in that person getting 4x what they paid in back. I just can't figure out how this is fair at all. This particular person that I mentioned sees this as an incentive to continue to stay at home. It's $6,000 in free money a yr. because she chooses not to work. RIDICULOUS!!!!!

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Picture Vote Breakdown Posted: 7/31/2008 8:20:48 PM
I personally have no desire to have people rate my pictures. However, I do look at vote breakdowns when they are available, just out of curiosity. Have you ever noticed that with guy's profiles women generally rate them with a higher score than the other men do (For example, Men breakdown 3.7, Womem breakdown 5.2)? Is this the same with women's profiles? Are women generally more critical of other women's pictures than the men are of the same pictures? I don't look at other women's profiles most of the time, unless it's someone that I agree with in a forum. Just curious to see what everyone else thinks about this and why it happens/what it's all about!

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Please review me! Posted: 7/31/2008 7:58:36 PM
OFMM, You always have the best profile tips! :-) I enjoy reading your recommendations :-)

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

How Old Is TOO OLD? Posted: 7/30/2008 9:59:32 AM
I don't think there is really a certain "age" that someone should be married by. When you find the right person, and you know it's the right one, that's the right time. Biologically speaking, if you intend to have kids, it's better for a woman to have kids before she is 35 because at the age of 35 the risks for herself and for the baby skyrocket. On the other hand, there are plenty of older mothers who have perfectly healthy pregnancies and healthy babies. I wouldn't be concerned about getting married by a certain age. The more important thing is making sure that you are marrying the correct person.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

CALLING or CAREER? Posted: 7/29/2008 11:32:05 AM
OP, I was reading your other post "Hope For Hastings". I read it just after I read this one and it crossed my mind that maybe God is trying to get your attention when you go by there everyday. Maybe he's calling you to reach out to them. I could be completely wrong, of course! You're the only one that will really know what you're called to do. The advice that was given earlier is the best advice I could possibly give as well. Pray, pray and pray!

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

men, computers and stupidity Posted: 7/28/2008 6:09:14 PM
I have to agree, I don't think his intentions are good. If he hasn't cheated yet, he will.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Alright, hit me! Posted: 7/27/2008 10:32:01 PM
I think it's fine. The only problem is the pics. Ursula is right about the pics. Get the camera out of the way of your face haha :-) This is my favorite part.... "If not stopped I may well put chocolate milk powder in every food and drink." I LOVE CHOCOLATE!

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

Good way to Propose? Posted: 7/27/2008 6:52:17 PM
ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good Job!

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

ETHNIC ATTRACTION... Posted: 7/26/2008 2:26:04 AM
Point by point... 1. I wouldn't date anyone just for this reason. If I was that interested, I'd research it. Or just become their friend and learn from them. 2. I don't think I would date anyone just for the novelty of it either. 3. I don't think I would date anyone for this reason consciously, but you're right, mixed race children are generally adorable! I'm pretty white, so if I had a child with someone in a darker race, the child would have a permanant tan! :-) No sun damage required haha 4. Physical features along with personality are the things that would draw me in. Attraction and compatibility are key to me. I think you can tell a lot about a person by their eyes and smile. Those are the first things I notice. However, if they open their mouth and can't hold a decent conversation to save their lives....nothing else matters! 5. I would never NOT date someone because of their race. There is sooooo much more to a person than that. If you discriminate based on race you could be missing out on the most amazing relationship you could ever hope to have.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

body language questions Posted: 7/25/2008 6:11:02 PM
RUN!!!!! Don't walk....RUN!!!!!!!!!!!! If he breaks up with her on his own, then you can talk to him again, but I wouldn't even consider keeping up this kind of "talking" relationship you have with him until he is single. He is in a relationship and, in my opinion, he has already crossed the line. You don't want to be "THAT girl", do you????

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

im confused,,current bf or ex hubby Posted: 7/25/2008 6:04:11 PM
To quote my sister, "I don't recycle" (men, that is). Like a previous poster said, there is a reason he is your ex.....don't get caught up in all of the good memories and forget about the bad ones. As for the current bf...let him go. It's not good for either one of you to just postpone the inevitable (breaking up is the inevitable based on what you said). The longer you're together, the more you will hurt him. Cut the ties now and get over them both.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 63 (view)

He brought his Fanny with him... Posted: 7/25/2008 5:02:42 PM
Fanny pack..........HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!! How old was this guy? I don't think a man my age (i'm 26) would even attempt to try to get away with that! A man purse I could definitely understand and handle, but a fanny pack?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

ETHNIC ATTRACTION... Posted: 7/25/2008 4:41:44 PM
I don't really know WHY I am attracted to anyone inparticular. I don't specifically look for a certain ethnicity and I would be open to dating any one of them. Character is much more important than color. I never make a judgement only on a picture (unless they try to look overtly sexy, that's just not attractive to me). I almost always read the profiles before coming to a conclusion about whether I'm interested in the person or not. I suppose some people are just attracted to certain races by nature, and that's just the way they are, and that's okay. Maybe it's because of the way they were raised or where they grew up. Who knows? This post reminds me of the song...."Red, Brown, Yellow, Black & White, we are precious in His sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world!"

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Profile Review Please... Posted: 7/24/2008 2:37:26 PM
If people reject you because of your ethnicity, are those people that you really want to talk to anyway? I'm just sayin'. If God and Christianity truly are incredibly important in your life there is nothing wrong with expressing that in your profile. You do say that you only want to date a Christian woman, so keeping the Christian stuff will attract that type of person. It might not attract non-Christians, but you don't want to attract them anyway, right? I could be wrong about that, my statement was just based on what you said in your profile about dating non-Christians and it not working out, so you're only interested in dating Christian women now. That's completely valid. I really liked the quote you have up about relationships being based on friendship.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 48 (view)

The State of Alabama and Adult Toys Posted: 7/23/2008 10:56:24 AM
Here's something funny to think about. While I'm sure that the majority of the people that use "adult toys" may not be married, there are some that are married that use them. According to the Bible the marriage bed is a married couple's space and they can do whatever the heck they want to do in it. WHATEVER THEY WANT! God doesn't put restrictions on what a married couple can do with each other or each others bodies (other than that they are not to deprive one another unless it be by consent and for a time). So, what is their basis for doing this? It certainly isn't because of anything the Bible says. Too much government control anyone?

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Cross in profiles? Posted: 7/23/2008 10:49:18 AM
I know that this is not going to be a popular post, but I'll take the punches if I have to. What is wrong with a cross if that is what someone in particular believes in? It never ceases to amaze me that "Freedom of religion" is so important to people, unless the choice is to be a Christian, then there always seems to be a problem. People that believe in Jesus Christ and are Christians most likely tend to believe that a cross covers everyone (including Jewish/Muslim/non-religious groups). So, I'm sure their intent was to cover everyone and not to discriminate. I find it odd that free speech is so important to liberals, but they question everything Christians say and seem to be offended by everything they do. I'll stop now before I go on a major rant

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

how do you know the truth? Posted: 7/23/2008 10:24:22 AM
I agree that the "Must Love Dogs" variety profile is definitely not something you should do on a dating site. You are supposed to get to know people and let them get to know you, not some random personality that you picked out. It does sound like that is possibly what the girls you are speaking with are doing though.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

how do you know the truth? Posted: 7/22/2008 10:27:20 AM
I agree with the "Must Love Dogs" statement. The easiest thing to do would be to set up a phone call with each of them like another poster suggested and compare the voices.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

My profile Posted: 7/22/2008 10:15:59 AM
"Here's the part that might seem mean(***hole alert!)...I've tried this before and for some reason online I always seem to attract women larger than me. I've had my Shallow Hal/Gweneth Paltrow moment and its over (she couldn't convince me she looked like Gweneth) so if you're 5'3"/180# I'm probably not interested, but thanks." I know you mentioned this in your post, but a lot of decent (skinny even) women will look at that and say, "hhmm...he kinda sounds like a jerk". I would take that out and just politely tell people that message you if you are not interested in them that you simply don't think they are a good match for you. Better to do that than to scare away potential women bc they wonder about your character after reading that.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Not getting much in the way of results Posted: 7/22/2008 10:07:38 AM
I agree about the profile being negative. That's the first thing I thought when I read it.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

My Profile Posted: 7/22/2008 10:03:05 AM
I agree with the previous posters. I would take down the pics and get new ones up.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

MSNBC vs. Fox News Posted: 7/22/2008 10:00:00 AM
I guess I'll have to watch the other networks a little more than I do now and then I'll have a clearer opinion on who's less biased. My friend is a Republican and loves MSNBC, he thinks they're fair. I guess I could give them a shot I do actually like Dan Abrams....he's kinda funny.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

Why the secrecy? Posted: 7/22/2008 9:55:21 AM
She definitely shouldn't have been willing to kiss you if she was too scared to share important things with you, I just don't understand that.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Woman with 1 yr old, what's your opinion? Posted: 7/22/2008 9:50:04 AM
Yup, gotcha! I tried to delete the thread, but apparently I can't.

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Woman with 1 yr old, what's your opinion? Posted: 7/22/2008 9:47:28 AM
Hmm..sorry if it's been done to death, I am new to the site and haven't even come close to reading most of the threads!

snjbeach

Joined: 7/14/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Woman with 1 yr old, what's your opinion? Posted: 7/22/2008 9:35:15 AM
I'm really just curious to see what guys think about me when they read my profile. The reason I'm wondering is because I was just reading the post about the lady that has 2 kids by different dads and a story behind it. Some of the responses that she got mentioned wondering about a newborn and why the ex is the ex. Does that thinking apply to me bc I have a one yr old? The situation, which I did not put in my profile, is that I was married to a man in the military. I dated him for 2 yrs before I married him and we were married for 4 yrs before we started trying to have a baby. She was planned, we actually tried. I was very careful making sure that I waited until I thought we had plenty of experience together to handle a baby together. He deployed to Iraq for the 3rd time when I was 3 mths preggo. He got to come home on mid-tour leave for her birth. Two days before my daughter was born I found out that he was cheating on me. I was so completely shocked that I had no idea what to do. I didn't tell anyone bc I wasn't sure what I was going to do about it yet and I didn't want everyone to hate him if I decided to work it out. So, I kept crying cause I felt so betrayed, but everyone thought it was post partum depression.The thing is, before I married him, I told him that if he ever cheated on me, I would never try to work it out. I was brought up in a Christian home and (I know this is extremely abnormal in our current society) I didn't go any further than kissing with anyone until I was married. So, I told him that if he cheated on me he would be throwing me and our marriage away. He definitely caught me by surprise and at the most vulnerable time in my life (2 days before our daughter was born, come on!!!). He begged and begged and begged me to work it out and like an idiot, I agreed to try to. He continued to lie to me about several things and I just lost all trust in him and I knew there was no way to fix it. I finally told him that I wanted a divorce and then he admitted that he had cheated on me several times before on deployments. I was the stupid faithful wife sitting at home through long deployments waiting for him to come home not even questioning his fidelity. Only to find out I had been blind and foolish the entire time. Not a good feeling. All of his friends loved me and knew I was safe. They always tried to get me to hang out with their wives or girlfriends on deployments bc they knew I would keep them out of trouble. I have gotten plenty of calls from his friends telling me how shocked they are (he even hid it from them) and how stupid he was to do something that would inevitably make me leave him. He knows how wrong and stupid he was and he kept begging for a really long time for me to take him back, but I think he has finally gotten it through his head that he has absolutely no chance. He didn't believe me the million times I told him, but when he touched my arm when he came to get my daughter for visitation and I cringed and almost threw up...he figured it out hahaha So, my question is, what did you think about me before the story and what do you think about me after the story? Please be honest, I won't be offended. I'm really just curious to see what guys think about it. Thanks for your time!

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