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Thread: Having Gained A Lot of Weight Due to Ankle Fracture/out of work

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Having Gained A Lot of Weight Due to Ankle Fracture/out of work Posted: 8/27/2009 7:44:27 PM
I have gained a great deal of weight due to an ankle fracture and am out of work due to the same fracture (broke on job). It makes me a bit shy about dating and to be honest, I have not had an email from anyone for over a year. I am guessing that the fellows out there are not happy with the weight gain and/or unemployment issue - but in actuality, I am an upbeat person and would really like to find a mate. Any advice, or just plain thoughts, guys?

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

the reason why so many relationships fail theses days Posted: 10/9/2008 11:19:54 PM
Ok, this is off topic, but I swear that each post that I read from Ron is just funny as heck! He has a great sense of humor

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 98 (view)

Can Disabled guys date non disabled girls Posted: 10/9/2008 11:14:32 PM
I am disabled but I work over 40 hours a week when there is enough work for me to do so (currently recovering from a broken ankle, but prior was working 65+ hours a week). I found that many people do not understand my disability because I am not missing a limb or sight. It is an illness related to arthritis and is therefore not "seen" by others. I have had several people think that I am not truly disabled. However, on the other side of it, I did date a fellow whose mother had the same illness and he was a sheer delight. I find that it helps me to explain my illness early on in dating so that the person knows what is happening with me on occasion. Not all run, but let me tell you, I think it is really a matter of their not knowing what they can and can not do with me. With that said, I live a very active life when I am feeling well.

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 235 (view)

My ex is on POF!!! Posted: 10/9/2008 11:04:52 PM
I found that a man closely resembling my ex (we divorced 5 years ago and I believe the photo is from 10 years ago and without a shirt!) who has reviewed my profile. I was so shocked that I read his profile and the writing style is identical to his. He has listed a fake career, but writes exactly the same as my former spouse, who, by the way, divorced me to marry another woman 3 days after our divorce was finalized. The real shocker? I have a permanent protective order against the guy. He claims "baptist" in the profile, but he is Catholic. My former spouse lied so much he could not keep his story straight. Maybe it is just my imagination. Perhaps he has a twin out there that neither one of us ever knew about! As for my Ex's wife? Yup, I told her what a winner he was when she told me that they were getting married. Note that the word winner was used in extreme sarcasm.

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 56 (view)

Improper English and/or Grammar? Posted: 10/5/2008 9:32:13 PM
As a matter of fact, I have a major in History with a minor in English. You were quite close in your assessment! I also work as a paralegal and legal secretary. Currently, I am writing a book. So, proper spelling and grammar (yes, I realize that there was a typographical error in my original post (one of the words I typed, as well as the first letter of the word adjoining it were absent, due to laptop difficulties and my typing speed of over 110 wpm with 97% accuracy). As for Myers Briggs, I am an INTJ, which is close to the INTP. Perhaps I am a member of the "linguistic police" (as it appears that other posters have determined), but I find it to be either a lack of education or laziness on behalf of many. Then again, my profile has specifics about what I am seeking and I can not tell you how many people who fit the "I am not interested group" reply. Perhaps people do not read thoroughly, thus I also put a synopsis for those faint of heart in reading it, lol. Thanks for the post. I am glad that I am not alone.

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 316 (view)

Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs? Posted: 10/5/2008 8:59:23 PM
To the person who asked what this has to do with the topic, it has a GREAT DEAL to do with the topic. As a Native American woman, I have a difficult time fathoming what it doesn't have to do with the topic. Perhaps you need to educate yourself on what happened instead of thinking that it has no rhyme or reason for being here.

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 315 (view)

Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs? Posted: 10/5/2008 8:53:21 PM
I think that we all have some kind of hang up, whether it be BJ, or say, dating a particular race, if we have gone through trama in our lives that is related to the situation. Heck, people are afraid of elevators if they have been stuck in them for a long period of time, so it is the same thing. I, personally, also abhor giving oral sex for similar reasons to your original posting; I also can not see myself dating a particular racial group due to a past unhappy situation. It seems like many men are hung up on having the almighty BJ. I just tell them that I am not their gal and that the one they are looking works on Lucky Street. Perhaps, I am seen as a prude, but I have my reasons for why I can not and will not oblige.

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 550 (view)

What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship? Posted: 10/5/2008 8:46:03 PM
Wow. Great question! As for my last relationship, I ignored the signs that he was cheating. Once I realized concretely that he was, I thought that he would stop when I asked him to. Same goes for the prior relationship. The one before that... well, somehow (probably because he was a great guy and I did not want to be alone) I ignored the fact that he was a(n )"in the closet" homosexual! I think it boils down to the fact that I was too afraid to be alone that I put up with way too much and let myself be a doormat. By the way, my former mother in law still likes me and we talk on a frequent basis, so I know that "I am not all bad." I have now learned to stand my ground and to not be a doormat. I also have not gone to the extreme of being "the woman who is always looking for something to be wrong with her other half."

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

First email and talking about sex Posted: 10/5/2008 7:55:59 PM
I know what you mean! I had, just tonight, a guy who said "you look like a curvy woman. Do you have large breasts?" I blocked him immediately. What a creep! I also had a guy the other night start telling me how he is going to take care of me and we would "spoon on the couch." It was our first conversation. He basically invited himself to move into the new house that I am about to lease/purchase with roommates. I never did invite him to do that. What is it that makes them jump to thinking that (without having met) they are going to impress me with that kind of talk?

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Is Unrequited Love still Real Love? Posted: 10/4/2008 11:56:53 AM
Absolutely, it is real love. I was very much in love (still am) with a man who I met in college. He had to join the Army as part of his college agreement and I was young and did not understand that it was part of a contract agreement. Right after he proposed to me (by a few months), my Grandmother died and my life went into a tail spin. He was in boot camp at the time and could not be with me to deal with the pain of losing my Grandmother. That is when I realized what it would be like to be married to a soldier and I started worrying that I would become a widow at a young age and not have him by my side. I was so very much in love with him and it broke my heart having to break off our engagement. I have never stopped thinking about him and wishing that I had not been so foolish. I have moved on in my life and loved others, but Tom has never left my thoughts and heart. I still have his photo in my secret hiding place. Oftentimes, I will take it out and look at it. My sister has offered to find him for me and approach him. However, I have found him through the online phone book and he is married. I would do nothing to disrupt his marriage to this woman because all that I want for him is happiness. If he were to come along and say "Hey, let's make it a go," I would in a heartbeat. I also have a girlfriend who loved a man so much when she was younger that she never stopped thinking about him. They ran into each other via Myspace a few weeks ago. In talking, they have realized that they want nothing other than to be together (they have been apart for over 20 years). He is catching a plane in a week to be with her permanently. I have learned to move on despite this hole in my heart and I do have true, complete relationships when I have them. Tom will always occupy a very serious place. However, I also have learned to live my life in the present instead of the past. Otherwise, I think I would border on the insane. One thing that I have learned from the experience is what kind of person I am seeking from a mate and that person has a good bit to live up to! While he would not be Tom, he would be one great guy because the role model that he would have to live up to was top notch

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 303 (view)

Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone? Posted: 10/3/2008 5:27:09 PM
Well, I have come to this myself. I will chat with someone for a bit and then either they or I back out. I also have been known to cut people off at the pass when they IM me. There are several reasons for this. 1. I am Pagan and Native American. I am not into having to go into the explanation of what a pagan is. I live in the Bible Belt and so the Christian thing is pretty much expected. I am very definitely not Christian (I had a guy say "Judge ye not" and when I said "Ok, well, most Christians I know are 'not into witches'" he did not respond) and conversion is not an option. 2. I flatly refuse to meet someone who does not hold a college degree or read books. I want someone to have at least the level of education that I do. 3. I am overweight and am in the process of losing that weight but so many men have the requirement of "height and weight proportionate." I am not there and have a ways to go. It has made me seriously shy about meeting. 4. I have minimal requirements on a male, but it seems that oftentimes, those who are interested in me fail somewhere in those requirements or a red flag comes up. I have settled for less in the past and it has only brought heartache. I find that now, I find it not even worth it to bend on those requirements. 5. Currently, I am unemployed (broke my leg in January) and am having a tough time financially. I am terrified that I will be rejected because of that. 6. So many men want sex. Even with the first date and that is NOT my style. While I like sex like the next person, I am not looking for sex. I am looking for a partner who I get along with on an intellectual level first. I have a very large chest and it makes me uncomfortable. 7. Last but not least, while I am native american and therefore am open to meeting men of other race (specifically Caucasian or Jewish), I am not open to meeting men of the other races. I can't tell you how many men who are African American who want to date me. Just not my cup of tea.

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Improper English and/or Grammar? Posted: 10/3/2008 3:56:11 PM
Is it just me or does it get on other people's nerves when a person contacts you with "How R U?" or other abbreviations? I had someone do that to me today and it made me feel that if he is lazy enough to not type the words out, he is most likely to be lazy at other things too. I told him that I was busy doing some research (which I was), when he IMed me with this. His response? "You are on a dating site." Well, yes, I am, but can a woman not do multiple things at one time? And for heaven's sake, please learn how to communicate effectively. Ok, now I sounding like I am ranting and that is not what I meant this post to be. So, to sum up: does someone taking linguistic short cuts bother others as much as it bothers me?

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Profile Review Posted: 10/3/2008 3:32:37 PM
I agree with the other poster. You have thought out things well, but you need to add a photo or two. You passed my "pet peeve test." I have a pet peeve that if a person does not utilize proper spelling and punctuation, or if the person is too lazy to use full words, they are automatically ignored. I may be a rarity in that area. Way to go on a nice job. Just add some snap shots and you should be good to go!

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 295 (view)

Do men really know what Women Want??????? Posted: 9/25/2008 1:49:11 AM
For this week only, women in Georgia want a man who knows where to purchase gasoline!

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 264 (view)

Why is a great person like you single? Posted: 9/25/2008 1:23:43 AM
As for my real answer, there are not many Pagans out in the world who are male and single. I am a bit picky about my pagans, too. They have to be employed, well read, well educated, did I mention that it would be nice if they helped pay the bills? I live in a large city and think that I have met every single pagan male here who is of viable age and they seem to be missing one of the key ingredients I am looking for.

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 263 (view)

Why is a great person like you single? Posted: 9/25/2008 1:19:56 AM
Because when I ran away to join the circus, they said that they could not measure up to my greatness

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 103 (view)

Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone? Posted: 9/25/2008 1:17:42 AM
Alone? Well, currently, my bed holds 4 of us... two very large dogs and a cat. I also have a school of fish downstairs in their tank. Great friends, family spread all over (both biological and adopted - the adopted family rocks, the biological is fodder for Jerry Springer). While I do not have a mate currently, I am far from alone. I have a feeling that such will be the case in old age, too. While it would be wonderful to have someone to cuddle with, converse with, etc., I enjoy being alone (now, if only I could have the financial benefit of 3+ jobs without the hours laid out!)

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 152 (view)

How a black male can approach white women... help Posted: 9/25/2008 1:01:54 AM
I agree. Not all white women want to date black men. I am mistaken as a white woman all of the time (I am actually Cherokee) and let me tell you, I was raised to be non-racist. I have many friends who are black (just the word black makes me a bit uncomfortable, but hey, you used it in the question). I have had many black men give me the eye, tell me things that they wouldn't dare to tell their mothers (one told me "he wanted to 'get all up in dat big white ass' :very mad: ) and then call me a expletive (female dog) when I asked them to buzz off. I am constantly receiving winks and nods from black men on another site when I specifically said "if you are not white, jewish or native american, do NOT bother." I have a reason for my feelings stemming from a very brutal experience in my young adulthood which has made dating anyone of other races a non-consideration (not that there are many available in my own race and the other races that are "acceptable" are not exactly perfect but hey, I have to date someone!). As for what Diane said, eye contact, proper English and a smile are good starts, and the person who posted the "rules list" is "right on."

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 800 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 9/21/2008 11:24:21 PM
I was married to someone with that problem. He stalked me for almost as many years as we were married (post divorce). It took a permanent restraining order to stop his stalking and I am still recovering from that job-wise. He set out to ruin me and pretty much did. I have moved on from that and am a very happy person - I also, however, pity his new wife.

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 85 (view)

Would you reject someone because of something in their profile? Posted: 9/21/2008 11:21:59 PM
What the heck is a "manly man"?

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 649 (view)

If you're single and not dating, what's your reason? Posted: 9/21/2008 10:47:22 PM
Oh, did I mention, also that I am not looking for easy sex? It seems that most men who are out there who contact me want sex and no relationship. I am a lady and I have no interest in just a sheet tumbler.

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 648 (view)

If you're single and not dating, what's your reason? Posted: 9/21/2008 10:45:44 PM
I have gone out on two dates in the last year. Yes, I am positive, the number is TWO. The first guy was someone I dated a year prior, but my work schedule got in the way (I worked 60+ hours a week, guaranteed on the weekends and he complained about my working on the weekends, even though he was not available then either). The other guy is also a workaholic, very nice, well educated, etc. but I have not heard back from him (now, granted, we went out at the last minute and I had been looking at rental property with a potential roommate who made me smell like a bar before we went out so that probably killed all future chances, even though I apologized and explained the situation). I have fibromyalgia and it requires a bit of down time to recover from adventures. What I do outside of work and home requires a great deal of consideration in advance (is it worth the down time that is required?). I also broke my ankle in January, which has added a bit of weight to my already high amount to lose (I am currently sitting at about the 200 pound mark, with the goal of being 120 - yes, I am watching what I eat and am going to the gym). I am very self conscious about my weight, as people look at that first instead of the MENSA Qualified intelligence that I have. I am tired of being judged on something that I am working on and is not entirely my fault (my doctor told me that the average weight gain with a broken ankle is between 40 and 60 pounds). Furthermore, I am now looking for a new job post ankle injury and am in the process of moving out of my home into another part of the city (hopefully that will happen in a month or two). I will have to have roommates and many people are not thrilled with that concept. Not being a Judeo-Christian, I don't meet people at church and I darned sure am not going to a bar - I am Cherokee and do not wish to be around anyone who has an alcohol problem as it is so prevalent in the tribes. I have not had people who meet my qualifications contact me. They are not that tough: educated, intelligent, articulate, well read, employed in a white collar position, nature lover, animal lover, caucasian, Jewish or Native American. All that I seem to have respond to me are unemployed, inarticulate, uneducated, have bibliophobia or are of the wrong race.

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 206 (view)

WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL Posted: 9/21/2008 10:21:11 PM
I agree with you. I have had many a man send me winks, etc. and have nothing in their profiles (or virtually nothing in their communication). I also am quite succinct as to what I am seeking in my profile, and people who do not match (I specifically say that if they do not match certain criteria not to contact me) constantly contact me. It makes me sick because it means that they have not even taken the time to review what I have put there or they think that they are special and do not qualify for the requirements. I sometimes wonder why I took the time to be so specific!

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 241 (view)

Do women enjoy masterbation and being watched? Posted: 9/17/2008 1:43:13 AM
Absolutely NOT. I am a lady and would never even consider such. I suppose I am a rarity on this website.

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

Gathering Ideas . . . Posted: 9/5/2008 3:04:44 PM
I would recommend that things like gun shows should be avoided. You lose about 50% of the potential people with the concept. I am very interested in getting out of the house, though. Big question: WHEN? I am potentially up to getting out this weekend, even if it is a walk in the park - museums are also a wonderful experience.

Joined: 7/18/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Atlanta area pet owners . . . Posted: 9/5/2008 2:56:10 PM
I have two dogs who need an outing and I could use one probably more than they do. I think it is fantastic idea to have an activity that involves both single people and dogs. I am even willing to let someone "borrow" one of my dogs should they show up dogless. Just let me know when and where. Anything has to be better than scanning craigslist and the RNC...

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