Lessons in life...........finally something useful to be taught... chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: Lessons in life...........finally something useful to be taught...

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Lessons in life...........finally something useful to be taught... Posted: 11/26/2009 8:48:18 AM
Here in London we have a number of gangs that have been fighting each other because they have different post codes. If only that had have been around in the Nineties. East 17 may have gotten beaten up before they had a chance to release any records.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Something that I cannot tolerate! Posted: 11/24/2009 2:27:04 PM
We all hate God Botherers it seems. Last time one knocked on my door he said 'Hi,would you like to invite Jesus into your home?' I replied 'Yeh,he can come in,but you can wait outside'. I also hate those **stards in shops: 'Hello,can i help you at all?' Just reply: "Yes,you have a look around,i'll wait here"

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Something that I cannot tolerate! Posted: 11/24/2009 2:19:25 PM
anyone else experienced this sort of thing Erm, no. I think you need to move.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

An open sort of marriage Posted: 11/24/2009 2:08:31 PM
I've never known a man to get a stiffy whilst being scared before! Well,there's this bit in the film 'Cannibal Holocaust' where....... Second thoughts. I'll keep it to myself.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Under my umbrella, ella, ella .... Posted: 11/24/2009 11:19:20 AM
it was commonly known as a bumbershoot or gamp Me ol’ bam-boo, me ol’ bam-boo You'd better never bother with me ol’ bam-boo You can have me hat or me BUMBERSHOOT But you'd better never bother with me ol’ bam-boo. Anyone care to guess (without googling) where those lyrics come from? vvvvvv You've won a feel of me Bumbershoot. Hold it gently. It's an antique. vvvvvvvvv

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 77 (view)

Buying women Lingerie Posted: 11/24/2009 11:09:06 AM
I bought a woman Lingerie for christmas last year. I watched her face as she opened it and could tell that she was disappointed. I'm pretty sure i'd got the size right as i'd had a look through her underwear draw whilst she was out. So can only assume she didn't like the style. This year i've decided to play safe and just get Mum a box of chocolates or a cd.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

pens or pencils........... Posted: 11/22/2009 2:31:51 PM
I would imagine it's easier to erase mistakes made in pencil than those made in pen. Unless you've stabbed someone with said tool. In which case i don't think any kind of mitigation with regards the leady or inkiness of the object will hold sway.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Edward Woodward R.I.P Posted: 11/22/2009 5:35:53 AM
To me he'll always be fondly remembered as the punchline to the joke "what do you call a man with 3 wooden heads?"

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 134 (view)

Whats the strangest message you've had? Posted: 11/22/2009 5:24:39 AM
"You owe £542 in unpaid Council Tax. We'll be round with a van in two days time to seize your goods and chattels" The bailiffs,disguised as a relatively attractive woman, found me on POF.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

I think I've scared him big time, how to resolve this? Posted: 11/20/2009 7:02:03 AM
If you feel like a school kid again, act like one. Put a note on his locker : " Will you go out with me? Tick box Yes [] No[] " If he says no,tell everyone he smells of wee.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Is there really a Santa Claus Posted: 11/12/2009 6:19:51 AM
Last night I sent him my note asking for something bright and witty and sassy in Christmas stockings. Ah,So you're after the new Eddie Izzard DVD for christmas as well.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Cutting to the chase. Posted: 11/11/2009 3:01:26 PM
better then finding out miss perfect is indeed miss hobbit with hairy tash and feet i suppose. I went out with her as well. It was a no go from the start though. Kept going about some bloke called Badge and how it was the best sex she'd ever had,even if it was a bit abrupt.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 74 (view)

Dancing Strictly for poofs Posted: 11/10/2009 2:17:07 PM
Male dancers are amazing ive dated one and there not only good on the dance floor Also good at making cakes by the looks of it.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Can Haye Win ? Posted: 11/6/2009 3:36:35 AM
I don't know what Hayes training regime has been for this fight,but i reckon he should take a leaf out of Sylvester Stallones book and do some press ups and that in the snow, run up and down some big steps,ask his local butcher if he can spar with some cow carcasses,and listen to some Survivor tunes on his walkman. It may also be in his favour if this Russian bloke has defeated and killed one of his best friends.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Brainy women are less likely to marry? Posted: 11/6/2009 3:08:42 AM
whereas clever women can multi-task, something men have not got the concept of yet I've never understood this thinking. I for example am able to type this post whilst eating and talking to someone on the pho..... B0llocks! i just dropped my toast!

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

How long should we view a profile & what three things do you look for in a person and their profile? Posted: 11/5/2009 1:38:08 PM
I limit myself to 1 min 37 secs. In which time i : 1. Try to imagine what they would look like with a hot chip in their mouth. 2. Check for unsightly carpet stains. 3. Read their entire profile thinking they could be the one until they mention in the very last line that they want someone Tall,Sexy and not a twat.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 111 (view)

X factor 2009 Posted: 10/25/2009 11:59:26 AM
I actually hate myself for liking this programme. However,i rate the acts in this order: 1. Lucie Jones ( She can Wesh warble into my Microphone anytime) 2. Miss Frank ( All 3 have thighs that could crush a mans head) 3. Stacey Solomon ( She looks like a horse and i'm willing to give her as much oats as she can handle) 4.Joseph McBlackberry ( Possibly 2 chart entries before revealing he's a poof) 5. Jamie Archer ( I reckon my Nan would like him cos even though he has an Afro he looks white) 6.Rachel Adedeji ( Why not) 7.Olly Murs ( Dances like a demented pelican) 8.Bill and Ted ( So bad i'm starting to like them) 9.Danyl Johnson ( Looks like a monkey. Has a massive mouth. Not my cup of tea* at all) 10.Lloyd Daniels ( The girls all love him,but they're listening to Tinchy Stryder on their i-pods whilst he's singing). *Or Coffee.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

bone of contention Posted: 10/18/2009 5:12:26 AM
I know how the OP feels. An ex of mine went round telling all her mates about how i am easily able to satisfy any Woman with my 'Magic' tongue. I really hate the fact that women look upon me only as someone who is able to give them immense sexual pleasure instead of respecting me for my Brain and that.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

So, what's 'wrong' with The Daily Mail and those who read it? Posted: 10/8/2009 3:23:49 PM
I think the Mail is derided because it actually says the things that most true Brits are afraid to say. It's the equivalent of an elderly neighbour who doesn't tolerate 'Wogs,pakis,queers and yobbos'. We like to laugh at their 'terrorist living next door' attitude,whilst at the same time secretly agreeing that they might just have a point. Also,Fred Bassett is a Hoot.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 142 (view)

football season Posted: 9/23/2009 12:57:23 PM
We played an excellent game, and kept the score down to a single goal. Indeed Mr Gary,your boys played well. As you know i'm a Liverpool fan. I knew this would be a tough game when i saw the draw. And although they are 2 divisions below us they are a more than capable side,especially this season so far. Did you by chance see the game? If so you would have seen Mr Mascherano explain via the medium of dance that young Beckford was to blame by seemingly getting his pirouette wrong and falling clumsily onto Masch's elbow, throat first.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Dogs Posted: 9/3/2009 2:24:16 PM
just always puzzles me why they think we want to see their big tench or perch. Me too. I reckon i'd be better off by making you feel nostalgiac about the times you went looking for sticklebacks and tiddlers.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

when beliefs(or lack of them) can alienate friends Posted: 8/30/2009 9:18:48 AM
Science 1 God 0 Be fair. You do know God refuses to play in Sunday matches and The Holy Ghost is a poor replacement in Goal. I'm surprised Darwin didn't have a hat-trick today to be honest. Plus it could have been worse if St Peter hadn't made that goal line clearance from Gallileo at the end.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

X factor 2009 Posted: 8/27/2009 1:15:13 PM
This is about the only type of "reality" tv I like apart from the cop shows like street/road wars. Yeh,but how many of those cops or criminals have you heard of since? Don't see them in the charts or on 'Celebrity come dine with me' do you?

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 59 (view)

The Premier League Discussion Thread 2009/10 Posted: 8/26/2009 7:14:18 AM
I never expected that last night! Liverpool only lost 2 league games all last season and still didn't win the title Now they have lost twice from their opening three games and are in complete disarray! Tottenham lead the table after picking up 9 points from their 3 games played so far. Who would have predicted that?! See my post (4). As a Liverpool fan i have already said this. I closely followed all of our pre-season games and we were very poor. I have,and always will question Benitez's decisions in both team selection and in the transfer market. It is daft to say our Season is over though. Man Utd dropped a few points early on last Season and still won the Title. While i don't see Liverpool capable of doing the same,i do realise that football is a funny game and absolutely anything can happen. I also stated that Tottenham will do well this year.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

The Premier League Discussion Thread 2009/10 Posted: 8/24/2009 1:59:46 PM
I think it's Robert Earnshaw. Though i wouldn't say that's at every level of professional football. It doesn't include any kind of Euro competition.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

didgital is here! from the 17th october.. reminder.. Posted: 8/20/2009 10:14:52 AM
does this mean i need to purchase a new television? No. It just means that you will only be able to receive digital signals through it. I.e like through a freeview or Digital set top box which you already profess to owning.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Time machine - where would you go and who would you meet? Posted: 8/20/2009 9:59:35 AM
I'd go back to the Book Depository in Dallas Texas,Nov 22 1963. Nothing to do with the Kennedy shooting. It's just that my Late Uncle Hank had 5 volumes of the Kama Sutra that were supposed to be returned on that date. If he'd taken them back on time i would have got $25000 when he died in 2007 instead of the $372 left over after his late return fees.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Your Pants Are Showing! Posted: 8/12/2009 2:07:49 AM
I heard it all started as Gang members showing they had been to Prison as they had had their belts taken away resulting in the lower trouser. Therefore they were making a statement that they were somehow cool by having done time. It could also mean that during their time inside they were forced to bend over and remove their trousers for other more sinister purposes. Though i doubt they'd want to make a statement about that.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

For those of you with cats!! Posted: 8/11/2009 2:45:26 PM
where's the payback? You not got a Thai takeway near you then?

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

Should i pay £1.90? Or leave it? Posted: 8/11/2009 1:20:57 PM
Blimey! It's only £1.90. I know it's a principal thing,but is it really worth the grief for a couple of quid? Just pay up and then let us know that it was just your Anne Summers catalogue. I'll send you the money myself just to clear this all up! Edit: ^^^Ah,Foxy. A like mind. ^^^

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Is it time to lower the price of healthy food? Posted: 8/11/2009 1:10:08 PM
Well,Hams. It's no wonder Real Madrid can pay all that money for Ronaldo when they're saving so much on their Half time oranges.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Is it time to lower the price of healthy food? Posted: 8/11/2009 1:01:31 PM
If you look at the price of fruit and veg in Spain compared to England its a disgrace! I agree. And therefore suggest the EU force Spain to put their prices up so that we don't feel so hard done by.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Do you look good for your age? Posted: 8/9/2009 2:11:19 PM
I've shaved nearly 5 years off on this recent pic Upstairs or downstairs? I can't imagine you with a beard. Yet strangely can't stop imagining you with a 70's style 'between thigh' growth.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

Return ticket? Not for different days you carnt! Posted: 8/9/2009 10:37:47 AM
J-Lo and Puff Daddy on a British Rail train? Yeah right I don't know why you find that so hard to believe. Famous people do travel on trains you know. I sat opposite that bloke who played Tinker out of Lovejoy on a recent trip to Hastings. And to top it off the ticket inspector looked a bit like Barry Chuckle.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

shewee Posted: 8/9/2009 9:55:24 AM
a mate gave me one for my birthday last month I want a friend like that. I am a long distance walker You were bigging up the trains in another thread. Were the toilets so bad you took to long distance walking with a portable piss pot?

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

shewee wee Posted: 8/9/2009 9:21:32 AM
GillYD. I haven't seen how much a Shewee is ,but surely it's not much more than a Months supply of Tena Lady. You might be better off in the long run. Even if you don't go camping it'll at least save you keep having to get up during the ad breaks of Midsummer Murders.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

Return ticket? Not for different days you carnt! Posted: 8/9/2009 8:55:38 AM
because they have been known to just stop them, and wait for a British Transport Policeman to turn up! Really? That's the sort of annoying thing i'd like to do. As i get older i've decided to be more like this. We should all rebel against these fascist **stards!

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

women hitting men Posted: 8/9/2009 8:35:52 AM
Sjxx. I find it very hard to believe that you've never given a fella two black eyes. And possibly a swollen penis. <div class='quote'> Whatyoutalkinaboutwillis~ funny. Not heard that one before. Really? Shall i tell it again?

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Return ticket? Not for different days you carnt! Posted: 8/9/2009 8:17:57 AM
The Rail Companies are Tossers. They make rules up as they go along to suit themselves. I recently had a meeting in London and bought a cheap day return costing £7. Five minutes after buying it i got a text message to say my meeting had been cancelled.This was at 16:30,next train being 16:45. I went to the ticket office to get a refund only to find they were suddenly closed,despite the opening times showing as being 07:00-19:00. So i took the ticket back next day and asked for a refund. The clerk said i couldn't prove i didn't travel. So i stated that he was supposed to be open til 19;00 and had they had been i could have brought my ticket back to prove that i hadn't travelled. He then said well,there is a £10 admin fee anyway so it wasn't worth me asking for a refund. I asked what would have happened if the train was cancelled and it was then their fault that i couldn't travel. He replied that if i'd brought it back within 10 mins then i could have got a refund! So what's the difference? I brought it back within 5 mins and they were closed,yet i'm being told in that case i'd incur a £10 fee. I've made up my mind that the next train journey i make i'm gonna travel without a ticket . When the inspectors get on and issue me with a fine i'm going to say 'yeh,no problem,i'll pay the £20 fine,but i should add that i charge a £50 admin fee'.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

is single sex better than married sex? Posted: 8/9/2009 7:24:02 AM
I agree with Ibakecakes. An established lover would know how to get it over and done with,get her to put the kettle on whilst Deftly pressing the right buttons on the Remote for The Match of the day Highlights.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

The Premier League Discussion Thread 2009/10 Posted: 8/8/2009 4:36:44 AM
I'm a Liverpool fan and despite our better performance in the League last season i honestly think we will struggle this time out. I hope i'm wrong,but i seriously worry about some of the decisions and tactics Rafa makes at times. Stevie G will undoubtedly have another cracker though,fitness permitting.I hate to have to choose between chelski and Man U for the winners spot,but i feel The Blues have more flair and will score a lot more goals. Hull will finish bottom. They were unbelievable at the start of last season then suddenly couldn't win for toffee. The fact that nobody wants to sign for them doesn't help their cause. Phil Brown could quite easily be the first manager to go,although i'm going for Hughes,because if Man City don't get off to a good start the Money Men will get worried. Top 4 1.Chelsea 2.Man Utd 3.Arsenal 4.Liverpool Europa League 5.Tottenham 6.Man City 7.Aston Villa Bottom 4 17.Stoke 18.Wolves 19.Burnley 20.Hull FA Cup Winner: Liverpool Carling Cup Winner: Tottenham Player of the season: Steven Gerrard Top Goalscorer: Didier Drogba Signing of the season: Glen Johnson First manager sacked: Mark Hughes Most improved team: Tottenham Under achievers: Liverpool

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

Should Ronnie biggs be a free man now? Posted: 8/6/2009 1:38:56 PM
I think he should be released. Although he committed a terrible crime he did make some kind of recompense making a lot of children happy with his wonderful books. 'The Snowman' was fantastic,and i really enjoyed 'When the wind blows'.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Missing Muffy .......Where Would You Search? Posted: 7/30/2009 5:51:13 AM
I think having a nice big bone handy would probably be helpful too. I think that depends on where Muffy had been whilst missing all that time. Just think of all the dirty bones she may have picked up on her travels. I'd at least insist on giving her a good bath and possibly one or two injections before letting her near my coc....er i mean bone.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 177 (view)

Do men get mad because some of us women prefer large penis's? Posted: 7/27/2009 1:41:28 PM
That was great Graffiti Poet. So come on ladies,what do you prefer? A great poet? Or a man with a Big C0ck?

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

Can you cook a decent meal? Posted: 7/26/2009 7:27:55 AM
I'm an Ex-Chef and cook a lovely range of dishes. It hasn't helped me find dates though. I have always played the 'Humour' card,having heard that's what the Ladies like best. Have i got it all wrong? I can't be funny and a great cook. Ainslee Harriott has shown that by looking a complete cnut.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 124 (view)

have you ever been on the telly?? Posted: 7/25/2009 1:55:07 PM
That's twice.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

NEW ASDA BICYCLE ADVERT.. Posted: 7/25/2009 1:54:17 PM
did you get a nice shiny bell too? Well,he did say the saddle was uncomfortable, so i guess it's only a matter of time.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Possible Bug on POF Posted: 7/22/2009 11:31:03 AM
I don't know about a bug,but i think i may have contracted this pig flu thing from a thread i replied in earlier. AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAaaaaaTttttcOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! I had a tissue over my keyboard when i typed that.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

is eastenders a bad programme to let my daughter watch? Posted: 7/22/2009 11:23:58 AM
Right you lot,Get outta my Thread! Go on,you're all Barred! And it is my thread. I got it off fishey4men this morning in exchange for a thread i did a while back about large nipples.

watchutalkinaboutwillis

Joined: 8/7/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Funny Street Names Posted: 7/15/2009 1:36:46 PM
I used to live in **ford**ent* Close. Which was even funnier cos it was in the Town of c*nbm%shire!

Show ALL Forums