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Thread: Age 50 - The Kiss of Death?

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Age 50 - The Kiss of Death? Posted: 11/6/2009 3:32:14 PM
Simple answer, people that age think it's over for them. I have a woman at the office 50+ and single who thinks there is no hope for her. She is attractive and I think she would do well on here. But she doesn't trust it....

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 161 (view)

Robot lovers - yes or no? Posted: 10/28/2009 10:20:58 PM
I pray for the day of AI.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

To baptise.. or not.. Posted: 10/14/2009 7:54:44 PM
Yule is the modern day pagan holiday taken from older Celtic ways. Which is now Christmas. They placed Chrsitian Holidays on old pagan ones for compliance issues. No need to rub it in their face. I think it makes no differance. Christians alive today weren't there when it was done. It is not general knowledge. And whether it is the birth of the pagan sun god or the birth of Jesus, it makes no nevermind to me. I just enjoy the season. Hell, I even go to church with my grandparents. It makes them happy and I have yet to burst into flames.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

To baptise.. or not.. Posted: 10/14/2009 6:51:15 PM
Okay, I CAN NOT walk away from this one. My family is baptist. I am a pagan and have been since I was 13. My family took my child and had her baptized without my permission. They ran some water over her little head and said some incantation over her.... BIG DEAL Made my family happy. My daughter never knew the freakin difference. If there is a Christian God up there, then she is safe. If not, well then no big deal. It never deterred her from going on to become a pagan herself. As for my comment on the matter? “Well, at least no one can boil her for flying potion now.....” Now that may ACTUALLY may a difference.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Needs & Wants Posted: 10/14/2009 2:40:16 PM
The only thing I NEED is a job so I can feed and clothe myself. And even that I can create for myself if I can't find one. Putting up with the inconveniences of a relationship, the compromises, ect., without getting the benefits of a relationship, what ever you have on your list for same, can be seen as “I am not having my needs met”. OP, if you are having issues because you are rejected by your love interests for what ever reason, there is no reason to put that in a different category from anything else you can do for yourself. As for those of you who think about the affection, sex and what not of a relationship, I can tell you that you don't actually NEED that. You get use to living alone. I lived like for many, many years and after a few years, it was more peaceful and fulfilling than when I had been in a relationship.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Why This Holy Terror of I Love You? Posted: 10/12/2009 10:19:50 AM
Saying I love you can cause a severe power shift. One partner thinks they have the other partner hooked and therefore doesn't have to try as hard. It can cause everything to fall apart.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Ever gotten into trouble or hot water with your spouses family. Posted: 10/11/2009 5:55:42 PM
My ex-husband family thinks very ill of me because they had been stupid enough to listen to my daughter at 7 years old cry I was a bad mommie because I didn't buy her a pony. They were not in my life when I was married to him and they are not in my life now.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Goal-Oriented, Is it that Important to you? Posted: 10/10/2009 8:20:08 AM
Sounds like liberal bull crap to me. People will tell themselves anything to moderate failure. I think people without any goals or with a low drive who try to use some philosophical bull crap line to make it seem okay are not good long term partner material. I will not be able to ink in their line of bull crap on the electric bill and send said bill back in and expect to keep the electricity on. But she may be right, not all people are goal orientated as she asserted. They end up having their partners support them, moving back in with the parents, blaming other people for the reason they lost their job, collecting welfare and social security and generally being a complete nuisance to the people who are goal orientated making a life for themselves.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Driving me nuts! Posted: 10/9/2009 4:56:22 PM
maybe I missed it but he neve said WHY he had no desire for her sexually. There in lies the key. I wouldn't mention it if I hadn't been in a similiar relationship.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Having the last say..... Posted: 10/9/2009 3:24:00 PM
It makes you look like a JACK ASS, no matter what you think.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Moving In Posted: 10/6/2009 4:00:38 PM
Oh Landra, you sure you won't go to play for the other team? Just kidding. I can't completely agree with Landra because I will never get married again, so marrying is not an option for me to take in that route, but she is right in so many ways because she sets the bar high and is never afraid to speak her mind. If you are too afraid to talk about what you want in a relationship together, in any aspect, you are too afraid to loose the other person and that is NOT healthy. Not only would I spell out very specific financial things, I would also spell out very specific limitations on other things. I have learned from experience it is the little things that kill a relationship. 1.Everything in my house has a place. Put it there. Do not leave things lying around the house. You should find a place for your things and keep them there too. 2.You use the bathroom too, that means you will be cleaning it every other weekend. That goes the same for the kitchen and every other space in the house. 3.Do not leave dirty dishes anywhere but in the dishwasher. If it's full, turn it on, if they are clean, it's your turn to empty it. 4.I won't do your laundry and leaving laundry in the washer or dryer or in baskets anywhere but your room is forbidden. 5.Yes, I said YOUR room. I want my own. Not that I don't want to sleep with you, but I need my own space, so we will have our own rooms. 6.If you use the last of something that we have agreed to use in common, like toilet paper, or mayonnaise, or shampoo or laundry detergent. REPLACE it. 7.Don't wake me up when I am sleeping under any circumstances or by doing things you know wakes me up. I have to work in the morning just like you. 8.My things are my things, don't touch them. That includes my food that we didn't buy in common. 9.When I go into my room and shut the door, it means do not disturb unless I have said otherwise. 10.Don't assume plans with me, ever, on any level, unless they are agreed upon in advance, like, say dinner plans. Don't assume I will cook/get dinner for both of us or that I assume you will do same for me. We will decide things as they come unless we have decided to do something together on a regular basis. I learned the above things are important to discuss PRIOR to living together. I have over 20 years of experience living with partners. For me it was never the huge problems that came up, but it was the day to day wearing down of my living space that made me get rid of them. Finances? Those you should hammer out before you make the decision to move in together as well as day to day etiquette you will show each other. The above is an example for me, personally, you should develop your own list of what you will and will not put up with, like for example: 1. Football season comes once a year. I watch the games. I will watch them without being disturbed and I will not go shopping, clean the house or anything else for any reason during the game. 2.I like to play golf a few times a month. I will continue doing so. I will not alter these plans for any reason. 3.Moving in with me does not mean I will be going to your family's Sunday Afternoon dinners every weekend. I will let you know ahead of time if I can go. Just a thought..... Set your boundaries if you want your relationship to last.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Is our society much more selfish than at any other time in history? Posted: 10/6/2009 3:34:18 PM
No one in history has ever wanted to put up with the BS having to have close relationships have sometimes delivered to them. For the first time ever, keeping close ties is not needed for survival. There in lies the key, in the past keeping close ties to anyone was a matter of survival. Whether it was staying married to a complete fool or kissing your father's backside, it was needed. Today it is not. Are people more selfish, absolutely not. Are they more capable of escaping bad situations, oh yes. What does that mean? That means if you want close ties you actually have to be decent and upright and treat people with respect to keep people near you. I won't put up with BS cause I don't have to. I pay for private disability insurance, so if I am truly disabled, I will have income. If society fails I am prepared to live in the woods without any modern convenience and my guns. It's not selfishness, it is called the pursuit of happiness and how far you are willing to go to be happy.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Credit card rejected on first date. Posted: 10/4/2009 1:48:48 PM
Depends on why it was rejected. I keep only so much cash in my account and low limits on my credit cards to prevent serious trouble with ID theft. I keep the rest of my money behind the wall in a market market account that I can only transfer from or withdraw money from at the actual bank to protect myself. So, I have had things declined because I was lax in keeping track of what I had spent. So I wouldn't get nuts about it. I would pay, but it would probably end things for me with him. Why? Because when I am going into ANY situation where not being able to pay for something would be embarrassing, I take, you guessed it, CASH. And then carry my credit cards and debit card for backup. Anyone who doesn't see what could happen and plan ahead at least that much, I won't be able to tolerate.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Should I give this woman a second chance? Posted: 10/4/2009 1:43:50 PM
Could be nerves. Could be her son has cancer she never told you about. Could be the outfit she had planned to wear didn't fit anymore. Could be she is inconsiderate and NEGOTIATING her end of the relationship from the beginning, meaning, she calls the shots. If you like her and want to see her again, then tell her specifically that canceling on you at the last minute for any reason short of a death in the family or her appendics bursting, is not acceptable to you and you will not make any further plans with her if she does so again. If she still wants to see you after that, then see her sparingly and don't get invested until she regains your trust. Then watch her carefully for any more power plays and play back just as hard. If it isn't worth it to you, then don't ever contact her again.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

When Sex is on Your Mind.. Posted: 10/4/2009 1:25:37 PM
I think that sex on the mind IS the major problem people face when looking for long term. I have seen it over and over. The woman really wants long term, but she gets a little itch she has to have scratched, then she gets invested in some random guy she let scratch her. Then he treats her like a dirty whore, surprise, surprise. She gets bitter and plays games. He thinks she has become pyshco, it was just casual sex to him and should have been to her. Then we start seeing the posts. “Why hasn't he called”, “He quit texting”. If you want to just have sex, then be sure that is what you want to be known for, because it will get around. If you really want long term, then you better put that itch on the back burner. At 36 and two long term relationships and just 3 other relationships that resulted in me having sex, I had decided that I no longer wanted another relationship. But I did want sex. So I set out to find someone to have sex with. I had decided I just wanted that temporary companionship. I had made a distinct decision about what I wanted. But I guess you can't really change your ways. I ended meeting a guy I actually wanted more with than just sex.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

broken, beat & scarred Posted: 10/4/2009 10:47:07 AM
What LeftofNormal said. You have wired your brain o dwell on her. The only way to stop it, is to well, stop dwelling on her. That means deliberately think of something else when anything about her pops into your mind. And no, you aren't still thinking of her because you are souls mates. No, you aren't destined to be together. No, she isn't going to suddenly realize what she lost, because in her eyes she lost nothing, and contact you and tell you how much she loves you. You have to put your foot down and take your life back into your own hands. Wise up, finish your bachelors and then go onto graduate school. You will meet a girl, one day, who you will NOT compare to this other girl.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Is this stupid? Posted: 10/4/2009 10:32:20 AM
Stop thinking so much about what your family is doing and concentrate on what YOU are doing. Although some people on the forums think that reading books on dating and relationships are not helpful. I found it very helpful. It helps you avoid some of the most common pitfalls. I mean let's get real, navigating a modern adult relationship is NOT a natural, instinctive skill. No one would ever suggest that you navigate a pregnancy without reading a few books on what NOT to do while pregnant and what to do. So read a few books. You might realize you come of as needy and desperate.... Or some other dating sin. But don't concentrate on dating, just maybe study up a little bit on it. I saw that you are a nursing student. I would stay with that if you really like it and don't stop with y our bachelors, keep going until you are a nurse practitioner. Why? No one in any social standing is going to look down on you. That is right under being a doctor and is a real professional. And BTW, woman who are professionals, tend to meet nice other professionals and marry them later in life after they have a multi million dollar house, have traveled all over the world and decided what private school to send their kids to...... You're 22. Worry about having fun and going to school until you're a professional, if you concentrate on that you will find yourself in a position in life very few people ever attain and nearly everyone else envies.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Why are we here? Posted: 10/3/2009 7:35:21 AM
I am here because I have a somewhat routine type, obsessive personality. When I was looking for someone, I posted on the forums a lot. Now that I am seeing someone... It has become part of my routine to sit down.... Check My Space, Check my email, and do a little posting.... That is the long and short of it.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

My own worst enemy....help! Posted: 10/3/2009 7:29:29 AM
Look, you just got out of a relationship you started when you were 19. I can say this because I got married young, you don't even know who you are, and right now you are just missing the sex and companionship. Do something with your life. Take some classes in something, make a life for yourself that doesn't involve a man. Discover who you are. It takes a good 2 -3 years to really get a sense of who you are without a companion. It was the most important thing I ever did in my life. I spent more like 5 years building a life for myself after my last long term relationship. You learn your real emotional ups and downs, because there is no one to give credit to or blame. You learn your real preferences, because there is no one there you have to compromise for. You learn what really makes you happy because there is no support from anyone else. You learn how limitless life is, because there is just you and no one else's desires to be considered. You should try it, it is liberating. And if you really want some limited companionship and sex you can have just that. Date some, but don't take it so seriously. Don't evaluate each guy as a potential husband. Look at a profile and decide “Does he look like he would be fun to go out on a date with”. Just one date. That is all you should be thinking about, because anything more than that is too much for someone who got married at 19 and just got divorced a year ago after 16 years.....

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

really need some relationship advice guys..anything please help Posted: 10/3/2009 7:02:32 AM
Landra is right, it is already over. You won't believe that, and you are going to whine and cry and cling to him until it gets ugly.... Or maybe you will believe it, cut this guy out of your life and get on with your life!

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

How to reply Posted: 9/28/2009 3:20:10 PM
Christ, just message her back and don't mention the time period. I am sure you have a life right? You aren't hanging around on the computer counting the days until a stranger messages you back, right? Cause that is so un-sexy. Just message her back as if the time lapse never happened, because she obviously does have a life, and you will have to get use to that if you date her.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Am I a cougar? Posted: 9/28/2009 2:31:46 PM
Who cares if you are? My SO is 10 years younger than me. Men my age are, well, boring. And they have crazy exs and kids and mortgages and financial problems. I don't want all that in my life. A young man with no drama and no desire for children is a wonderful thing.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

mature women with lust based profiles Posted: 9/27/2009 7:54:41 AM
I would like to say I have been on this site for over a year and never received an email that suggested I run over and have sex with him. As to the thread, if you want to post semi-porn pictures of yourself, that is your choice. I know it send the wrong message unless you are just looking for a series of one night stands and or short, fitful relationships. However, what makes it completely comical is the fact that I see these same women, with the hooch shots in the forums posting threads like “Why do all men want is sex”, “I don't understand, everything was great for the first two dates”, “He doesn't call or text me anymore”, blah blah blah.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 241 (view)

Men living with their parents: A social taboo? Posted: 9/27/2009 1:30:03 AM
I think what bothers me is the flimsy excuses people use to move back home. I had to have “surgery”, I was “laid off”, “My room mate moved out sticking me”. Blah blah blah. Well, if your parents had surgery or was laid off would you all move to grandma and grandpa's house There is never an excuse to move back home. You should behave as though there is no “soft landing” at mom and dads. Mom and dad has raised you, and I can bet they either don't need you there or they don't want you there. The “I can move back in with Mom and Dad in a pinch” mentality is not attractive. It says, “I am willing to rely on someone else”. If I am married to someone and times get tough, I don't that person to either rely in my income or look at me and say, “We can move in with my parents.” UGG. I moved out when I was 16 and have NEVER been back home. I have been divorced, I have broken bones, I have been down sick for long periods, I have been laid off, I have been fired. I have had everything happen to me, but I NEVER went home. I put on my big girl panties and I figured it the fvck out. Living with the parents exceptions: 1.Mom and or dad have grown old and need care and have moved in with YOU. 2.Your grandparents/grandparents came here from another country and brought with them the multi-generational household. You were raised strongly in that culture and you are looking for a woman who wants to live in that same culture. And no, I am not going to buy that “multi-generational, I work my ass off” BS unless your ethnic, and then I am not interested. Learning to live on your own and not having a safety net is what truly makes you become a real mature, capable adult. Anything short of that and you are shorting yourself. And no you are not ready for a real relationship until you are doing that. Until then you are playing footsie, having sex like a teenager that could result in a child you can't take care of. Making promises you can't keep.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

At what age were you truly ready? Posted: 9/27/2009 1:08:49 AM
37. I am 36. Does that answer your question?

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

So how do I end this Posted: 9/27/2009 12:45:10 AM
I can't say this more simply, but they are right. Go down town and get a restraining order. If they won't give it to you, take a day off from work, while HE is out of the house. Get a pods, put all his crap in it and change the locks. Personally, I needed neither of the above to get the last guy out of my house who seemed like he had NO DESIRE to heed my wishes to leave.... I turned into Gunny from Full Metal Jacket on his Azz.... trust me, he left the next day, tail tucked. Seriously though, you have GOT to take the bull by the horns when you want out and don't be shy. No one will break. And involve the police if you need to. Don't be shy, it's your life.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 71 (view)

How (not?) to end a relationship Posted: 9/25/2009 3:16:24 PM
She just may be worn the hell out. Especially if she was alone for a while before she met you and had her own life. I had been alone for many, many years before I began dating again, and I can say, my new SO wears me the heck out. I had the sense to say I can't see you and talk to you as much as I do and keep my sanity. I also advised that things would still stay the same between us and we are still together, and it isn't a problem with him or the relationship, but that I need more time out of the day, week, month to do the things I know make me happy and contribute to my health and sanity. Some people take pulling back as a sign to mean they are not interested in your anymore, it can actually be the opposite, it can mean, like it did in my case, that I am trying to work out a lifestyle I can maintain over the long term. Some people feel the stress of the new relationship and don't have the sense to realize they need more time for their lives and themselves and just need to learn to make that clear. It can mean disinterest, but my advise remains the same, see below. I could be wrong, but I would just be casual about it. Don't bug her, don't email her, don't phone her constantly. Don't “try to work it out”. Leave it alone. If it's really as good as you say it was then she will want to come back to you after she has had a rest. In the meantime, move on, but don't date, you need at least a few months rest in order to recover emotionally, you are going to be comparing every woman to this one, and until you can stop doing that you aren't ready to date. And if a good rest and a time to collect her thoughts and get her life back in order was all she really needed and things work out, then all the better.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Striving for Imperfection Posted: 9/25/2009 3:01:11 PM
He could try living in the Middle East, I hear none of the women over there show, well ANYTHING, nor will he have to worry about one approaching him to tempt him.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

he wrote me off Posted: 9/25/2009 2:57:14 PM
Please, please remove the pictures of you touching your breasts and in the very short skirt. You don't need to show that side of yourself, every man assumes it's there. That is how you get off on the wrong foot in the first place.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Intense long term depression and how to deal with it. Posted: 9/23/2009 7:03:44 PM
Decide to just lay there and rot then. Decide that is a good fate. But you would be lying to yourself because you're on a crappy dating site writing on a crappy forum about it. Asking for help. You want a way out. You don't want to die and rot where you lie. Get up and grasp onto everything you can that you think might help and live and don't rely on other people and material things to give you life because they have the potential to let you down. Which is fine for most people but you can't endure that. So build a life based on things that are out of the power of other people to the greatest extent of your ability this time.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Hydrogen Peroxide for cold/virus relief. Posted: 9/23/2009 6:27:14 PM
Eat an entire raw onion. It will cure your cold. I promise.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

Asperger's Syndrome Posted: 9/23/2009 6:19:07 PM
A few other things that might help. The key to keeping your mind clean and clear enough to use what you have is to remember we perceive every single thing that is going on, our brain are free of the filters most other people have and can become over-stimulated by all the information we try to assimilate. Not for nothing, but organic substances can only take so much. There are two ways of doing it. The best is to keep yourself away from unpleasant nosies, sights, sounds smells, and sensations as much as possible to be able to cope with the stimulation of the outside world. I personally keep myself in a 10 X 12 room with familiar EVERYTHING. Sounds, music, smells, fabrics, sight, ect. I leave to earn a living and to experience things, social and other, when I desire to do so. And no that isn't easy, and yes people will think you are a hermit. I am cool with the whole hermit thing. There is even a nice Tarot card with that name that Led Zeppelin used on their fourth album. Also, it is good to make the place you sleep tight fitting to you, and surround yourself with things that “snuggle” you and put you into a position that induces a type of sensory deprivation. The other is to learn to use your already well developed skill of concentration when stimulation is overwhelming WHILE being engaged with what you have to do in the world. I can be in a situation at work, like a staff meeting or a party and appear to be “all there” when really I am far away in my own head. It is a learned skill. I even disappear from social situations when I can't handle them without a second thought, choosing a quiet corner and listening to my mp3 player or something else until I can rejoin. Yes I come off as “weird” sometimes, but it never deters people from loving me. The key is to concentrate on things that are familiar. Your Friend The Silver Devil

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 48 (view)

Asperger's Syndrome Posted: 9/23/2009 5:56:21 PM
Hearing sounds far above and far below the ability of others. Seeing things that no one would ever notice. Visual, near photographic, 3-D moving memory. The appreciation, at every second of the feel of the fabric of your clothes on your skin. Life is alive, at every moment, every movement. Feeling things no one else can. Extreme intense emotions. Beyond all imaging. The emotions that propel great people to do great things. But oblivious to feelings that haunt normal people. Recognizing patterns in all that you see that ties everything together. But seeing the tiny detail in the collage that everyone misses. Weaving everything together in a vast picture of life because you can categorize everything you experience. Desiring companionship and able to find it if you use your brains, have it, feel it, experience it and able to set it aside. Able to be alone forever in contentment and peace with your pursuits. Able to pursue your passions with the concentration of a god and achieve greatness. Absorbed in ecstasy in your pursuit, it becomes like heroin. Distracted by life only when it is your choice. Social awkwardness, replaced in time with grace when skills are practiced. It eventually weaves a web of patterns of behavior of other people that develops into the ability to predict what any normal mortal is going to do and exactly how they will screw up their life. Physical awkwardness, replaced with strength and a sixth sense of the placement of your body and its parts and other objects. That sense eventually extends itself to other objects that you automatically know are in a position to cause an accident. I am sorry, I think “AS” is a gift. Not a handicap. Some skills naturally inherent to people with AS are developed at an early age at a detriment to some of other skills, which although deemed vitally important, are eventually caught up on with time. That is, if the person doesn't allow themselves to be shoved into a hole and develop “self esteem” problems. Most of us, that I know with AS, are superhuman. We have genius IQs and generally have developed physical strength far beyond our peers. And a good number of us have used our brains to learn to understand and manipulate social situations better than a politician. Not to mention the extraordinary achievements in the sciences and arts they produce. For those of you with AS, I recommend you take another look at the way you perceive the world and realize what it is you truly have. I am sure if Superman were really real, they would develop a “syndrome” for him, tell him he was handicapped because he didn't fit in with everyone else, he was a danger to himself and others and medicate him. Good luck in your pursuit of happiness.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Lost 115 pounds so far Posted: 9/23/2009 4:52:51 PM
I think I "found" 20 of the pounds you lost. Where should we meet so I can give them back to you?

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

When is it just part of dating and when is it a blow off? Posted: 9/17/2009 4:36:36 PM
Please, try to be a little more casual. I was a single mom, so I know that working full time and taking care of a kid even half azzed sucks every last drop of life out of you. You said he calls you every other day... He likes you. But he doesn't want to go to fast. He doesn't want you to think that you can demand his time, which you are, cause he doesn't have it to give. And he probably has little energy for dating, but he does appear interested in you and wants to date. He needs companionship. Here is the choice. If you are ready to be in his life with the kid and all and take that plunge, then offer to do something that includes the kid that is helpful to him as an exhausted single parent, like maybe cook everyone dinner AND clean up AND leave at the end of the evening without demanding attention. If you want this guy, your role will be, not the kid's mother, but daddy's girlfriend. And that is sharing this man's energy with that child, his energy and time won't all be for you for a long time. Don't be creepy about it, as in inserting yourself everywhere, but try to OFFER something that allows you to be together WHILE taking the load off of him. Don't add to his load. Right now he is trying to juggle you with a job and caring for a kid. If you are not ready for instant family type responsibility and time, move on, because with a young kid, he will not be able to give you the time and attention you want while taking care of his kid as a separate matter. And by the way, the “if he is into you he will.....whatever” doesn't apply here. He can't, he has to hold down a job and care for a child, very time consuming and exhausting. Unless he wants to blow off his responsibility he can't be that "be all" "end all" man giving attention some women want.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

I have a car... but what if I didn't? Posted: 9/12/2009 7:33:54 AM
The OP asks....trying to keep a straight face here, “If a guy decides to lessen his carbon footprint and get rid of his car......” You're kidding me right? What would I think? Total wuss because you buy into the global warming bullcrap. On a more even note, I know there are a lot of people on both side of that issue. I respect a society's right to scientifically explore an issue, make observations and try to better life based on those observations. That is what is going on, and I am not convinced that man made global warming exists or even if it did that it is a danger to life on this planet as a whole. In polite company I never assert my views on other people, nor do I belittle people for theirs. But privately, and that is what you are asking here, to me, belief in man made global warming and trying to stop it points to a raging liberal, which I personally believe have been indoctrinated by the way we are raised in this society. While I think everyone has the same basic goals of improving life for all of society, we differ greatly in our philosophy of how to achieve that. I don't find liberals at all attractive. I dated one. He constantly went on about socialized medicine and how wonderful the Cuban health care system was. Made me want to take him to Cuban and put him in one just to see how he liked it. Any guy adhering to something so out of the norm to “help” with a liberal leaning idea drives me off, forget the fact that you don't have a car.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

why do girls on the internet hide baggage? Posted: 9/12/2009 7:17:19 AM
You should lose the shirtless, tattoo and wrestling photos. They say something to women you don't want to be saying. I would also try to tone down the rhetoric in your profile. Real, nice women don't like negativity. You can say something is important, like education, without being negative. Also, do remove that you live with your parents. It seems like you don't need to live with your parents, so that is okay, but I wouldn't mention it. It takes you down a notch and opens the door for lower class people to think they have a shot with you. That may help you.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Guilt from the past Posted: 9/5/2009 7:58:32 PM
Because they don't know enough to keep their mouth shut until it's time? Dumping bad past stuff too soon is like wearing curlers and a house dress on a first date.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 193 (view)

For a Laugh- What movie would you base your life on as of now? Posted: 8/26/2009 4:28:11 PM
I wrote mine out in a novel of more than 700 pages and named it Chthonia. Now I am trying to live it out, but alas it is not yet a movie. I am lucky I think. If I was to complain about my life I would say it is far more than I want to handle and never enough to keep my interest at the same time. Maybe it is not enough of what I need, but I always get a mouthful, so to speak. My life is a great adventure and has great hope in the face of what would like to put me down and tear me apart, Lord of the Rings. I would mention some others but I know my view of those movies is not what other people were told “what they mean” so I will leave well enough alone to avoid... just avoid it....

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

How to cope with missing partner? Posted: 8/26/2009 3:11:44 PM
I say the smell of him. I think it is something primal in our brain chemistry. I only get to see my boyfriend on the weekends. One weekend he left his T-shirt here by accident. At the moment I noticed it I was lonely for him at the time and collecting clothes for laundry. I picked it up to give it a whiff to see if it was dirty and needed washing and my aggitation at being seperated from him vanished. Give it a try. I have found it to be very usefull in combatting my brains craving to be with someone I love more than I can at the moment due to my life. Good luck.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Overlooked because of my size Posted: 8/24/2009 5:47:40 PM
I think I may die if I hear another "I am a big guy no one loves me thread". It is almost never about your weight. There will always be people who don't like your size, but unless you look like Jabba the Hutt that isn't going to be a problem with everyone, however it does give you something easy to blame it on. Get a life, and I mean that in all truth, because having one, is what girls look for. You, being cool, easy and fullfilled in your own life. Oh yeah, and make sure you have your sheet together a bit. Your friend, The very rolly polly piglet, The Silver Devil.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

'Growing Expectations Syndrome' cause of many breakups? Posted: 8/20/2009 3:33:03 PM
MERCY! OP either you're plugging yourself as the “unobtainable” to get girls to email you, or you unknowingly asked a very complicated question. Do women know what they are doing when they begin a relationship with a man who is not the marrying type for them, but do it out of desperation and then believe they can push the issue later on? Or do women not know that for every man there is only one “type” of woman that they see as their partner or “marrying” type and the relationship will never move beyond what it is and are just much less fussy when picking a partner than men are? Every man out there knows there is a “woman” or “type of woman” out there that would be perfect for them, and if they met her they would be looking like a desperate fool asking her to marry them way too soon. And I have news for women, if you are not her, the stagnant relationship is what you will get. What happens after these mis-matched relationships are dragged out? There are WAY too many marriages entered into just because the guy HAD to do it because it been “X amount of years” and the pressure was building. He was too comfortable to leave her and god knows what she was thinking, maybe she thought it was right, maybe she was too uncomfortable with either being just the shacked up girlfriend or with leaving the relationship. It's the saddest thing going. Companionship, regular sex, ect., whatever the relationship is composed of is easier than going it alone, even if your companion doesn't merit further commitment. Clue in: If a man loves and wants you all for his own he will do everything short of literally pissing on you to mark you as his own to make sure everyone knows you are his. So the answer is, OP, you are having relationships with women that don't really do it for you, that is why you like things as they are. Which is fine, but you need to be man enough to break it off before the pressure starts building and hook up with another girl. Or find a woman who just wants the casual dating forever and does not want marrige, they are out there. And ladies, if you want something more than casual dating forever, then you better make damn sure things move forward from the get go or move on. Because he won't change.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 89 (view)

If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway? Posted: 8/18/2009 3:46:23 PM
And I thought he talking about vagina... The answer to dinner is no. The answer to my vagina, yes.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 51 (view)

How do YOU know when it's over? Posted: 7/24/2009 4:44:12 PM
I had a LTR with one of those once. They never, ever change. In fact, he is 37 and when I kicked him out he moved right back in with dear old mom. He never did and he never will figure out how to figure it out.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

best way to shave it? Posted: 7/23/2009 5:18:31 AM
Waxing isn't all that painfull and is worth it. I never have irratation from it.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Foot In Mouth Posted: 6/3/2009 12:54:25 AM
Get your money back and you will have plenty of money for the concert. You can't walk around on egg shells, it will make you miserable.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Competing with a dead spouse. Posted: 6/3/2009 12:45:35 AM
I would not put up with that. In fact it is one of my rules not to date widowers.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Last relationship is messing up my current relationship Posted: 5/27/2009 4:50:36 AM
My question is why does this new girl know about the ex? First rule of dating, DON'T TALK ABOUT THE EX! This mistake happens over and over. Let's all say it together again. Don't talk about the ex!

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Should I call or give up? Posted: 5/21/2009 11:57:06 PM
Yeah no, don't call. And Never go on an 8 hour first date. New Rule for the next one: One date a week. 2 hour max, for a month. No hanky panky. You will do better. I am just saying. Oh, and don't sit and on line and talk them. Only call them to confirm the dates and thank them for the dates.

thesilverdevil97

Joined: 8/8/2008

Msg: 194 (view)

smell plays a big part......!!! Posted: 5/21/2009 11:50:49 PM
All I am saying, is when his smell is comforting to you, you know you are really in trouble.

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