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Thread: How Many Dates Do You Give It?

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

How Many Dates Do You Give It? Posted: 9/29/2008 2:19:19 PM
eh, no flack...an honest answer is an honest answer, whether i agree with it or not!

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

How Many Dates Do You Give It? Posted: 9/29/2008 2:12:35 PM
thanks wildman...you cleared that up for me... wow, who knew first dates are power struggles...and here i thought they were just to get to know each other...i guess it's a good thing i asked here...oh well, i guess i don't get a 2nd date since i didn't kiss him on the cheek and give him the power...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

How Many Dates Do You Give It? Posted: 9/29/2008 2:08:19 PM
i guess i meant in regards to what individuals think...not so much a "couple" thing, but a so-so first date...would you ask them out again? write it off as a not happening? do you bother with a 2nd date even if it wasn't a mind-blowing first date? i usually give a 2nd date or maybe even a 3rd, but i'm not a guy, which is why i'm asking here :)

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

How Many Dates Do You Give It? Posted: 9/29/2008 1:59:42 PM
how many dates do you go on before you decide whether you are into the person or not? i went on a date...it was okay...no major sparks flying, but i wasn't crawling out of my skin either...i'd go out with him again if i hear from him, but i'm not going to cry myself to sleep if i don't...ya know? so i'm curious how many dates some of you guys give before you decide whether it's worth your time or a waste of your time...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Fatal Mistakes Posted: 9/27/2008 5:32:36 PM
getting very sexual in the conversation...TOTAL turn-off...if you're JUST looking to get some, find a girl who has "intimate encounter" down as what they're looking for!

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

I have a theory about movie interests? Posted: 9/27/2008 10:55:49 AM
psychological thrillers are the way to go with me!!!! never saw the notebook OR chicago, and don't have much of an interest in either of them...lol

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 89 (view)

Woman at the bars and clubs! Posted: 9/14/2008 5:35:13 PM
i go out to be with my friends and usually hear a good band... if i happen to meet a guy, great...but that's not the sole purpose for going out - hasn't been since i was in college...lol

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

ex keeping in touch with me Posted: 9/14/2008 5:15:51 PM
he cheated on you and is talking to you BEHIND his current gf's back... yup, i'd be jumping at the chance to be in a relationship with him...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Cute but too drunk... Posted: 9/14/2008 11:22:31 AM
am i the only one who can still see op's profile?

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Cute but too drunk... Posted: 9/13/2008 6:45:38 PM
ahhhhh, on his profile, under smarts, he listed N/A, as in not applicable... it all makes sense now...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Cute but too drunk... Posted: 9/13/2008 6:43:56 PM
i'm not sure why it's your job to get her home in the first place...i would think she's either out with friends or could take a cab... but that aside, if you're even considering taking advantage of a drunk woman (when you KNOW she's only behaving that way because she's drunk) then nothing we say here is going to make you grow a conscience...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

Do black girls like white guys? Posted: 9/13/2008 5:58:32 PM
this question is ridiculous... no, there isn't a SINGLE black woman out in the world who dates white men... maybe you're not finding anyone b/c you're looking at her as a black woman and not just a woman you want to date... seriously, what did you expect from a question like this???????

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

What kind of things put you off when reading mens' profiles? Posted: 9/13/2008 5:55:27 PM
for me, the turn-off's are: - lots of text speak (u for you, b4 for before...take the time to write the word) - shirtless pics unless you were somewhere it was appropriate to be shirtless (the beach - but even then, only one please) - pics with girls all over you...yeah, THAT would make me want to date you...i can be just another of those girls...lol - "if you want to know, as me"...obviously i want to know or i wouldn't be reading your profile!!!!!! - any mention of sex or 69 in your name...c'mon, are we 13 here where we have to giggle at the number 69? - no personality in the writing - when someone throws in as many "big" words as they possibly can, as if they wrote their profile with a thesaurus next to them...unless you speak like that everday, there is no need to speak like that in your profile (and if you do speak like that everyday, that's fine, but my experience has shown me that many keep up with that type of language) turn-on's - funny pics mixed in with "normal" pics - some that at least show a clear shot of the face - jokes/sense of humor in the profile - where personality shows through and it doesn't feel like the profile came from "profile writing 101" - NO text speak, decent grammar (certainly doesn't have to be perfect, we all have our moments)

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

I Feel A Bit Unreasonable - What Do You Think? Posted: 9/8/2008 7:10:53 PM
hahaha...i teach romeo and juliet every year to my students...how funny

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

I Feel A Bit Unreasonable - What Do You Think? Posted: 9/8/2008 6:56:31 PM
i think there's a difference between someone's name and a random word...lol... but anyway, i admit that i'm in a pretty foul mood today which is probably what is leading to my unreasonable attitude... i e-mailed back...gave the guy a chance...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

I Feel A Bit Unreasonable - What Do You Think? Posted: 9/8/2008 6:39:57 PM
i find nothing "petty" about wanting someone to spell my name correctly after i already told them how to spell it...i can honestly say that you are the first person to call me petty... did i say i actually stopped talking to people because of this? nope...i said i consider it...or it makes me want to stop talking...whatever my intial statement was...i didn't say i actually blew someone off because of it...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

I Feel A Bit Unreasonable - What Do You Think? Posted: 9/8/2008 6:26:03 PM
well, i don't know your mom... just kidding you're right...like i said, i felt unreasonable with it...was hoping people would tell me that i wasn't...lol

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

I Feel A Bit Unreasonable - What Do You Think? Posted: 9/8/2008 6:19:52 PM
if a guy contacts me, and i respond, i sign my name at the bottom of the e-mail...i have a fairly common name that's spelled in a normal enough way. when a guy writes back after i spelled my name correctly, with the end "ie" and spells my name ending in "EY" it makes me not want to write back because it makes me feel like they couldn't even take the time to make sure my name was correct. but then i feel like that's an unreasonable reason to stop speaking to someone... opinions?

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Will He Leave His wife Posted: 9/6/2008 10:25:44 AM
if you didn't want to be involved with a married man, why not cut things off on that 3rd date when he told you that he was still married? that's neither here nor there though... no, he will not leave his wife...and if he does, he will cheat on you as well...wouldn't you always be wondering?????

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

Makeover? Would you do it for a girl? Posted: 9/5/2008 6:03:32 PM
i dated a guy for over a year...he dressed like my father (and no, that's not a good thing...lol)...it didn't ruin things for me b/c i still found him attractive and loved him and all of that stuff... eventually, we were out shopping one day and i suggested he try on a style of jeans that i happened to like...HE liked them as well, and bought them...we got him some shirts too, but i never suggested he needed new clothes...it just wasn't a deal breaker for me... and i'd be pissed as all hell is someone told me i needed a make over in order for them to be attracted to me...i dated one guy who "suggested" i get a breast reduction and grow my hair longer (it's past my shoulders and gets pretty long sometimes)...needless to say, i did not take him up on his suggestions

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Women mentioning celebrities in Profiles ? Posted: 9/3/2008 7:18:45 PM
i have celebrities mentioned in my profile...but i would hope that people can figure out that it's a joke...lol

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

* dont plan to change for no man on here * Posted: 9/1/2008 5:47:46 PM
that's a hell of a generalization to make...i've never dated someone and tried to change them...i'm going to say that there are a lot of women out there who don't try to change men...i'm sorry if you've never met any of them yet...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Why doesn't she get the message? Posted: 9/1/2008 2:46:44 PM
why continue going on dates with her and seeing her if you aren't interested? you told her you didn't think you should date her...so don't...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Fishing In NYC Posted: 9/1/2008 2:24:15 PM
so i guess thee aren't any other NYers hanging on the forums?

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

A fit reply? Posted: 9/1/2008 8:45:30 AM
i'm sorry, but i don't think we are a good match. good luck.

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

After one date is it okay to...? Posted: 9/1/2008 7:27:34 AM
i tend to keep dating others until that person let's me know that they are interested in being exclusive. i've found in the past that i wind up pretending to be in a relationship when the other person isn't if i stop communicating with all other people after a date or two. until someone else is ready to commit, i don't think about committing either.

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Am I married after a couple of dates? Posted: 8/31/2008 2:17:12 PM
you can't just tell her that you have plans and make a date for next weekend or something? i'm missing the problem with this situation, except that you aren't setting boundaries...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 393 (view)

Men who arrive for the 1st date with a rose.....do women like it? Posted: 8/31/2008 1:35:48 PM
i would rather receive a rose on the 2nd or 3rd date...and know that it was gotten for me AFTER he met me and knew he liked me...rather than it just being something that he does... although, funny story...i had been chatting with a guy online for about 2 weeks, phone calls and all...we had this long joke going about black and white cookies and brownies...when we met, he showed up with a big brownie for me...it was hysterical b/c it was personalized...too bad we didn't hit it off though...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

how am I supposed to respond to pick up lines Posted: 8/30/2008 6:31:27 PM
i've always just called them out on it in a joking manner...if nothing else, it gets the conversation started...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Taking Advantage Of Drink Gestures...??? Posted: 8/24/2008 7:30:24 PM
when a guy comes up to me and offers to buy me a drink, without even introducing himself or chatting at all, it makes me think that's just what he does...goes around buying drinks for any woman that will say yes...it's no reflection on ME, since he hasn't said a word to me other than buying me a drink... if i like a guy, he'll get my number (if/when he asks) whether he buys me a drink or not...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 52 (view)

Is It Unreasonable Of Me To Feel Like This? Posted: 8/20/2008 5:59:13 PM
yup....was very nice...said i would like more communication (didn't even say no, just said more communication) and explained that i was recovering from pneumonia so this week wouldn't work anyway... never heard from him again...oh well

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

Is It Unreasonable Of Me To Feel Like This? Posted: 8/20/2008 3:49:04 PM
"Have you never struck up a conversation with a guy in public that ended up lasting for an hour or more and maybe even led to (gasp!) kissing? I find it hard to believe there are many adult women who haven't done this. The point being that the random encounter can end after 2-5 minutes or 2-5 hours the same way a date can. Maybe it's the term "date" that causes the concern and people would be better off regarding it as a not-so-random-chance meeting with someone." yes, at bars...where my judgement is clouded by alcohol...i've never been out doing something and completely thrown my plans to the wind b/c i happen to meet a guy...i give him my number and if he calls, great...if he doesn't, so be it... to everyone who doesn't care about getting more than just a name before going on a date, i'm glad that works for you...for me, i prefer a bit more of a conversation than one e-mail asking me to go out...just my preference... and for whoever said a nice jewish girl who knows how to shoot a rifle...i hate to burst your bubble, but that rifle was part of a game...hahahahaha

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

Is It Unreasonable Of Me To Feel Like This? Posted: 8/20/2008 2:29:10 PM
"For all the people (usually women) who think there should be a lot of communication before meeting in person, let me ask you this: if a stranger of the opposite gender struck up a conversation with you in a public location, would you instantly blow your rape whistle? I'm guessing the answer is no, so what's the difference between that scenario and meeting someone whose profile/emails appeal to you after a brief correspondence?" i said nothing about blowing the rape whistle...lol...but, if i were out and met a guy for 2-5 minutes, i wouldn't go on a date with him unless he called me and we chatted a tiny bit more than the "hi, what's your name" conversation...i'm not saying i need to know their whole life, but you gotta give me something to see if i'm even interested in meeting you... as for being reserved, if wanting a minimum on ONE phone call prior to meeting someone is reserved, so be it, i guess...i'll take my chances staying single...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 80 (view)

Your date knew YOU weren't the one when... Posted: 8/19/2008 7:16:09 PM
-when i got pissed b/c i was spending the night...and after claiming we were going to bed, he stayed on the couch for about 30 minutes on the phone...and i got changed from my pj's to my regular clothes and left... - when i mentioned that it kinda bothered me when we were watching a movie together at his house, he checked his e-mail (no problem) but then started checking POF e-mail... and yes folks, 2 separate guys...fun fun

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Is It Unreasonable Of Me To Feel Like This? Posted: 8/19/2008 5:50:32 PM
oh, i don't want to build the relationship over the computer...i hate that...you always wind up disappointed b/c you have this magical view of who the person is b/c you can interpret things in very different ways... but ask at least one or two questions to get to know me...lol...ask for my number...SOMETHING

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Is It Unreasonable Of Me To Feel Like This? Posted: 8/19/2008 5:22:20 PM
yup...i told him that it's nothing personal, that i like to communicate a bit more...plus, i'm getting over pneumonia (which is true, was in the hospital yesterday) and that setting up dates this week is probably not a great idea for me... big shock, i didn't hear back

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Is It Unreasonable Of Me To Feel Like This? Posted: 8/19/2008 5:20:31 PM
i wasn't sure the beginning was...but i kinda figured the whole holding a fish thing was...lol the guy who e-mailed me also had absolutely nothing in his e-mail except telling me he's attracitve, fit, and can treat a woman good...BAER

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Is It Unreasonable Of Me To Feel Like This? Posted: 8/19/2008 5:11:51 PM
so it's a problem that i want to know more than a guy's name in order to meet up with him? oh well...i'll stick with having problems then, i guess...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Is It Unreasonable Of Me To Feel Like This? Posted: 8/19/2008 4:52:00 PM
a guy e-mailed me, first contact...short, sweet, just introducing himself. i responded, equally short introduction (name, how are you...that's about it) he then asked me out...i nicely explained that i perfer more communication before scheduling dates... am i the odd one out for wanting to know the people more before meeting up? do a lot of people go out after one or two contacts? just curious

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

What Is The Malfunction????? Posted: 8/18/2008 3:11:18 AM
you are absolutely right... i guess my complaint was that he didn't try to let me down...he pretended...lol oh well...not the first time and i'm sure it won't be the last...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Is he scared? Posted: 8/18/2008 1:39:41 AM
I've called him and texted him, wanting him to tell me his feelings... I had left a message that said if the feeling wasn't mutual that I would be okay with it but would have to stop seeing or talking to him. that's a lot in the matter of 24 hours...you went from telling him you have feelings, or "pouring your heart out" to sending texts and calling...and ending it with an ultimatum...give the kid some time...he could be scared to tell you that he just sees you as a friend b/c he might not want to lose the friendship...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Is he scared? Posted: 8/18/2008 1:21:04 AM
i really hope that what i say isn't going to sound too harsh... but if he had feelings for you, you'd know...he'd have said SOMETHING to indicate he feels the same way...granted, this is a female's opinion, so i could be way off base... so you're prepared the end the friendship with him if he isn't in love with you? that's a pretty heavy ultimatum to leave on someone's vm...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

What Is The Malfunction????? Posted: 8/18/2008 12:32:31 AM
lol...i'll have to remember to try and control the convulsions on the next date...hahaha i don't mind the general nice comments at the end of a date and what not...but my goodness, if you're not into me, just say it...i'm a big girl...i can handle it...lol...it was one date...i'd rather a truthful "i just didn't feel we were a good match" than dragging on conversations that say they are leading to getting to know each other...when that's obviously NOT the intention...lol sorry, i'm just tired, cranky (not about this) and figured this was a good sounding board for this particular question...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

What Is The Malfunction????? Posted: 8/18/2008 12:14:45 AM
sorry i didn't thread search...as i said in my post, i apologized in advance if it's a common question...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

What type of male pictures are most appealing to women? Posted: 8/18/2008 12:13:55 AM
just a general picture of you being you...smiling, laughing, serious, with friends...whatever it is that shows you... personally, i can't stand when i guy has a picture of himself flexing, or shirtless and taking his own pic with his camera phone...turns me off and i usually don't even respond to those...

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

What Is The Malfunction????? Posted: 8/18/2008 12:04:25 AM
ok, now i'm well aware that this is not all guys, so i'm certainly not making any blanket statements...and i am apologizing in advance if this is a common question... a huge pet peeve of mine, perhaps it can be explained... go on a first date to meet someone from online...had great conversation leading up to the date...the date goes well, a bit awkward at times and you can tell both people didn't feel that HUGE love connection spark... no big deal, right? i was still open to a potential 2nd date just to see if maybe the spark would come alive down the road...got the whole "had a great time, we're gonna do this again" speech, including texts afterwards... only for me to pretty much have to guide to conversation towards him admitting that he didn't think it was a match and didn't want to see me again...no big deal, i didn't feel that spark either, but was open to exploring it...whatever... why drag it out? why not just be honest, if not on the date, with a phone call or e-mail after the date?

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

my kinda b.f and the airforce Posted: 8/17/2008 8:43:10 PM
marriage needs to be based on more than an occasional hookup during a break up... if you're not 100% you should marry him, there is your answer... and i agree with the above poster...focus on preparing yourself for your future...if he really is the one for you, there is no need to rush it!

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

What gives? Posted: 8/17/2008 8:41:28 PM
i originally wrote my profile and then had a friend look it over...lol...we fine tuned it and it's good to go now (had to add a little more obvious humor, my sarcasm was making me sound angry...lol)

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

What gives? Posted: 8/17/2008 8:17:16 PM
- no need to tell everyone you are updating...just write what you need to write... - no need to talk about being financially in the hole...i'd run away from that in a heartbeat! if i got to know someone and we discussed finances, i wouldn't be as quick to run away...we all have our debt and what not, but there is no need to put it on your profile...you should be highlighting your qualities... - you mentioned nothing about the type of woman you want to date...what qualities should she possess? - i like that you talked about being an uncle and personalized some of it, but describe yourself a bit more...who are you?

wolfie_1106

Joined: 8/11/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

WTF? Posted: 8/17/2008 8:07:00 PM
- i would put your 3rd pic (it looks like you are at work, i think) as your first one...better angle and you're smiling - i wouldn't focus on the "i took a break from dating" stuff...i liked your opening line about this being a sociological experiment, but a lot of the stuff after that just kinda went in one ear and out the other... - i enjoyed the rest of it... - talk about what you are looking for in a woman

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