Who should I have said happy mother's day to first? chat & forums.

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Thread: Who should I have said happy mother's day to first?

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

Who should I have said happy mother's day to first? Posted: 5/12/2009 7:39:08 PM
Your girl needs to "GROW UP ".

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

Question about money, sort of. Posted: 5/12/2009 7:32:49 PM
The kicker was, the step daughter said that he couldn't bring anyone to the party. Just himself. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> If i am going with someone and i am invited to a party and told i cannot bring anyone with me, i will not be going! If he does not have as much money as he tries to make someone think, you will find out soon enough. When he asks for a loan. I ran into that. Other than that, it is his money.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

Being in love but visiting sex dating sites Posted: 5/3/2009 9:42:10 AM
OP. I read more of your questions and some of the respones. I think, or at least you should already know the answer to your question. If not, you may be to immature or naive to be in a relationship.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance? Posted: 5/2/2009 6:38:53 AM
what i've come across a lot are women, who albeit, being unattractive to me, are just cool as hell and i find myself thinking "why couldnt she be thin and good looking? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Alot of men will find themselves alone sinply because they over looked an orchid while searching for a rose. Happy hunting my friend.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 129 (view)

orgasm count, is he lying?? Posted: 5/2/2009 12:47:41 AM
If he told you this, he is full of $hit and i'll bet you fell for it. If he was that good in bed, he would not have to be a C-O-P-

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 254 (view)

why do alot of the guys at this site have a problem with dogs? Posted: 5/1/2009 1:13:48 PM
I think dogs put some men off coz sometimes the woman loves the dog much more than the man ! ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ My dog does not lie to me. Does not try to control me. If i upset her, she is very eagar to make up. Men want to whin. Does not ask me where i have been if i am 5 minutes late. Not jealous of my friends. But will have your A$$ if you hurt me. And maybe that is why a dog is a turn off to some men. They are loyal and will protect what is theirs.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 383 (view)

HE BLOWS HIS LOAD IN MY MOUTH WITH NO ORGASM ALERT! Posted: 5/1/2009 12:51:13 PM
With that attitude and reasoning for doing it. I hope to hll she bites you dik off. There are dogs, then there are dogs.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 81 (view)

Serious question here...want to hear from those who know Posted: 5/1/2009 7:00:04 AM
You seem to be a very caring person and and your friend does not really know how lucky she is. I have read some of the responses here and there is some good advice. As you knw, with any addiction, they are not going to quit until they face there demon. Do you think if this guy was out of the picture she would quit? Maybe she likes the sex. It may not all be about the alcohol. Try going to one of her meetings and if you can speak. Without naming names put the question of a sponsor enabling aperson instead of trying to keep them on the wagon. I know you don't want to lose your friend and there ia where you have to be careful. Maybe go to the head of the AA rep. and talk to them. If $hithead gets kick out, he is out.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 922 (view)

Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters! Posted: 5/1/2009 6:46:55 AM
You know this is plain sex between two concenting adults. This happens. Alot but, if a man or woman does not want to be hurt, don't put it out there. Keep it home in a fire proof safe. Second class rape. Do you have any idea how over crowded the prison system is now with real rapist ? Did you ever think these female friends are spinning you to get a pity party out of you.? i have many females net friends who more and more have been a victims of this sort of misleading un-savory behavior===================================== How can any one man have this many female friends with the same problem?

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 82 (view)

If she has the condoms is that a good thing? Posted: 5/1/2009 6:32:59 AM
I see nothing wrong with a sexual partner having protection be it male or female. If she had not had the condom, she may have said" So Sorry Charlie " I got a chuckle out of my grandson. Had a talk with him about using a rain coat. He wanted to know what a raim coat was ? Told him it was a condom . He said " if it ain't skin, it ain't in ". Guess i am a little bit behind the times and these young'ns

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 76 (view)

..legal..tight...BOX? waaaaa Posted: 4/30/2009 10:39:46 PM
If you have a legal tight box, what the hll is an illegal tight box? Don't you people have anything else to worry about ? No wonder some of the responders here say shut up shut up shut the hll up

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 468 (view)

why do men always have to look at other women!! Posted: 4/30/2009 10:33:06 PM
Would you rather they look at other men ? Come on. Take a break or a deep breath and as msg #2 said. Shut up

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 672 (view)

Whats with women that invite their dogs into the bedroom to sleep? Posted: 4/30/2009 10:30:23 PM
Yep, it's just you. The dog will be there long after you've flown off into the sunset =========================================== Pazoozoo . You got that right. I have had a german shepherd sleeping on my bedroom floor for years and i can tell you, no one will mistreat me while she is there. Maybe that is what the OP is afraid of.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 289 (view)

Why do some women stay in abusive relationships? Posted: 4/30/2009 5:25:16 PM
I sure don't know the answer to this. I was just remembering the other day about a man who, when he got mad at this wife would take off his belt and beat her with it. I was a child and witness to this as was their 5 children. She remained with him. I heard the phrase one time. " They stay with or go back to the devil they know best." Now this was years ago . Today there are to many organizations out there for anyone to have to take abuse. I remember someone saying " your only a victim as long as you allow it." I think they might just be right.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Disabled dating ? Posted: 4/30/2009 3:14:58 PM
pass personally I think I am irresistible. perhaps you arnt speaking pure pants to all these real nice genuine people? ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Maybe you need to just get over yourself. And to the OP. Pssst is right. It is just not you. It is a lot of people just hoping to find someone they can have a relationship with. Don't give up just because a few have nasty, negative attitudes. We have lost so good people on here that give good advice due to a few turd balls on here

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

Relationships not based on sex Posted: 4/30/2009 2:35:26 PM
I know what you are saying and while it is true , some have sex upon their first meeting, others play it safe. I played it safe for along time and in the end that is all i was ,safe. Alone but, safe. Until i met a man and on our first meeting we did have sex. I had been alone for a long time. So had he. It just happened and he told me before he left that he did not believe in one night stands. I thought "yeah, right ". This was the first of October 2008. He spent the night last night which is April; 30th, 2009. We are very content and happy in our relationship and the one thing i like the best is , there is no drama. He is very polite, from the old school where a man was taught how to treat a woman. Brings me flowers "still " usually that wears out but, not with him. He is talking about taking me to Oklahoma to meet his family. While it does not always work out and that is why i played it " safe " and i am not saying jump in bed with a man thinking that is the way to keep him in your life but, every now and then even a blind squirrel can find an acorn.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

I got beat up by a monkey Posted: 4/28/2009 6:50:08 PM
I have heard of "spanking the monkey" Do you suppose this monkey took it the wrong way?

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 59 (view)

So when do you tell someone that you're no good in bed? Posted: 4/28/2009 6:36:57 PM
i was just attacked by a mad pit bull.... i bet your the kind of person that would run to my aide.... with a bag of salt!! Don't tell me. You are her ex-husband ? I know you are not but you sure are a nut case. I hope no one hires you to work the suicide hot line. My sister - in - law had been terrible abused sexually when she was young. Her daughter was killed when she was 18 in an auto accident. I will always remember one comment she made. She said " Mary won't have to go through the abuse that men can inflick on a woman." She must have been abused beyond belief. It almost sounded like Mary was better of dead than go through what she did. That is sad. Not all men are this way, but then they are men.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

So when do you tell someone that you're no good in bed? Posted: 4/28/2009 3:42:21 PM
I think i would be telling the person that i plan on dating for awhile about the way you were abused by your ex-husband. Yes, he may bolt and run but, let him go. You need to find a man that has patience and understanding. With counseling and the right man, you can have a happy life . Good luck

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

widows friends accepting new man in her life?? Posted: 4/28/2009 3:35:15 PM
In my world, a true friend would be happy that you had found a new man in your life that made you happy. Your life will go on and you deserve happiness. Death ends a life not a relationship....You will always feel close to the man who you were married to for so many years, but I believe he would want you to go forward and live your life to the fullest. Basically, it's only important what YOU think and feel. There will always be someone out there, living in the past, thinking you should just be alone. Hold your headup, and do what makes you comfortable. I have to agree with Talitha. I also am a widow. The relationship with my deceased husband will always be. Some people in life will find that they have more acquaintance's than they do true, true friends. And your true friends will support you unless your guy us a real trip. They love you and want to help protect you. Good luck

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

Smoking....In the House? Posted: 4/26/2009 6:52:48 AM
Communication is the key to a good relationship and yes there has to be boundaries as i am sure she has likes and dislikes. If this is a "maybe " deal, i would leave it at maybe for the time being. I would tell her if she likes to smoke indoors than maybe she needs to stay where she is . If she is unwilling at this time to see your reason for this and it is not an unreasonable request, what will it be like when she moves in? Look deep before you leap.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

older luv Posted: 4/24/2009 1:29:07 PM
I am not sure how well you know her or how well she knows you. I think this is something you will at the end of the day decide for yourself. You are the one with the feelings and while i think you have strong feelings, will that be enough? Then , have you thought about if you would want children of your own ? Even by her , if this is something you would want somewhere down the road, you nned to talk to her about this. Then, what kind of relationship do you have with her children ? Now, i will tell you this. There was 11 years difference in my husband and myself. We got along well, things were good. I know that men and women look at it diferrently but 11 years is not that big of an age gap. You need to consider the questions i posted above. Good luck to you.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 68 (view)

orgasm count, is he lying?? Posted: 4/24/2009 9:51:26 AM
He is a bullShitter. In an hour? Slut puppy he is .

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 373 (view)

why do men always have to look at other women!! Posted: 4/24/2009 5:42:11 AM
Men should wear blinders like they put on horses. Just kidding. And why do you care, you are on here looking for men. So, shut up

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 70 (view)

Going down on her Posted: 4/22/2009 6:17:36 AM
Just ask her how she feels about oral sex . Done!

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

warning to newly separated Posted: 4/21/2009 4:09:26 PM
You are late.Most of us already knew this.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

girlfriends daughter Posted: 4/21/2009 3:59:00 PM
The sooner the better. You are not going to change her child.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 61 (view)

American Women vs Canadien Women Posted: 4/21/2009 2:46:41 PM
Uhm. We... well... uhm. What? ... ... I suppose we're more attractive because we're not American. I find Canadian men more attractive than American men. So logically, I guess that's why. You suppose your more attractive. Dream on Alice Wonderland is just around the corner. I saw you profile picture and your not exactly Twiggy you know.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

American Women vs Canadien Women Posted: 4/21/2009 2:41:54 PM
Where is the delete this post button? Chame1eon: I think it may be on his stomach and if we activate it all of that hot useless hot air will blow out and . But i guess that could be a good thing.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 59 (view)

American Women vs Canadien Women Posted: 4/21/2009 2:37:22 PM
They eat snowmen. And what makes you so special ? You don't even have your picture posted. A little extra padding there?

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

Soft Coated Wheaten Terrior....... Posted: 4/21/2009 7:40:16 AM
Calm down . Take a few deep breathes here. I have e-mailed people with questions and some reply right away and some days later. But, they all replied. If she read your post here, lots of luck in getting a nice reply if any. Some people are not on their computer everyday. When they do get on there and check it out, they may have several e-mails, questions etc... They may not have time to answer them all and chose to do it later. Then you say something to the effect of the attitude of the bi**hes in your area. Are they all that way ? And the things you wrote in your post, what does that say about your attitude ? As for getting into a pi$$ing contest with the ROCK MAN. Better get your rain coat out. He can pi$$ with the best and has been known to hurdle a few well deserving turds. I am not on here trying to take care of ROCK MANS battles. He can handle himself quite well.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 56 (view)

Baby Posted: 4/20/2009 10:23:55 AM
No you are not wrong. Most people just take it as part of the conversation. I dated this guy several years ago and when he talks to a woman he always says " Hi Darlin' " As much as we went out, he would say that to women in front of me and it did not bother me as i knew this is the way he is. I thought it was kinda cute myself. I would think if this lady is so thin skinned that she can't accept it for what it is or at least ask you what you ment before blocking you, you are better off not having her as a friend. Just do what you do and enjoy life. Don't change who you are or what you do or how you say it over one imature individual.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

Wondering where to go with this Posted: 4/20/2009 6:38:01 AM
Are you sure about your feelings ? You say you have been friends for 2 years. If you do not know for sure what his feelings are, you could loose a good friend. He has had 2 years to let you know how he feels. Have you ever been out to dinner with him ? If not, ask him if he would like to join you. I would do this in public so that no one can say there was anything inproper about it. I would think if he has something to say , he would do it then. Otherwise, i would think you just have a good friend. Good luck

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 198 (view)

how to prevent getting hard in bed with a woman? Posted: 4/19/2009 8:28:08 PM
Just take your finger and flip the hell out of it on the head a few times. That should do it.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 210 (view)

why do people commit suicide in general? Posted: 4/19/2009 8:09:27 PM
I have known people who have commited suicide. Sometimes you have and idea as to why but my question is. Why do they feel they have to take someone with them? A parent will commit suicide and kill the children as well. I really don't understand this. I could see taking an enemy with me that has done nothing but create havic in other peoples lives but your friends and family ???

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 165 (view)

Women attributing their realtionship problems to chioldhood abuse.... Posted: 4/19/2009 5:17:23 PM
Women consider trivial shit to be abuse. Dad yelled at her for staying out 3 hours past curfew and coming home drunk and smelling like a whorehouse? That was abuse and it's why they can't trust you and why they slept with that guy in the bar. It would have sounded better if you had said " SOME WOMEN ". There are the drama queens out there. You need to be reading about the real abuse, trauma inflicked on women and children. I hate it when someone lets their alligator mouth overload their Jay bird A$$

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 164 (view)

Women attributing their realtionship problems to chioldhood abuse.... Posted: 4/19/2009 5:12:31 PM
I would imagine if that had happened to your sister, she would not have been out playing happily in a few hours later. You might just be surprised what a child will do to cover up what happened to them. Especially when their mother knows about it and allows it to go on. You have no freaking idea !

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

great advice was given Posted: 4/18/2009 1:04:35 PM
why are you on this site. The real question is. Why are you on here ? You have nothing a woman would want . You just have nothing else to do with yourself .

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

great advice was given Posted: 4/18/2009 12:34:49 PM
Irish Eyez, He will be checking your profile next. Poor thing does not realize that the only problem he has is with himself.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 159 (view)

Women attributing their realtionship problems to chioldhood abuse.... Posted: 4/18/2009 12:07:50 PM
I am doing something about my recovery. about healing myself. But it's still hard. Mandakay, good for you. Keep going girl and take your life back. Myself and i know a lot of POF memebers are rooting for you. Bringing this out in the open is a good thing. Years ago it was all swept under the rug. They can't hide anymore can they girl ? People listen now because it has been brought front and center. It is in the news, the papers, there are counselors and people are going to prison for it. And i will again say, because it cannot be stressed enough. TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN! Give them the chance some of us never had. Let your children know that it is okay to come to them when something like this happens. You will listen and help them you love them.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

dating more then one at a time Posted: 4/18/2009 9:14:00 AM
I think we are all assuming dinner and other upright position activities here, not continuing to meet people after you are banging someone. Do you know what assume does? Makes an A$$ out of you and me. There have been people date several people and never had sex but, some assumed they were getting it on. When in fact they were not. after you are banging someone. /////////////////////////// It would have sounded better just saying " after banging someone, instead of " after YOU are banging someone." Assuming

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 156 (view)

Women attributing their realtionship problems to chioldhood abuse.... Posted: 4/18/2009 9:02:26 AM
You can't pick and choose when the memories come back. Cute and sassy. You are right about not being able to choose when memories come back. I do not dwell on the memories as i have dealt with it and it is what it is and nothing can change that. There is one thing that happens and i do not dwell on it. Once in awhile there seems like a flash card comes to mind. I cannot get a visual on it as it is fast. I think there was more happened to me then what i remember. I don't know what as it is there and gone. I am not going to let it control my life especially since i have landed on my feet. Some people do not believe in repressed memory. Some people think you are saying this now just to start trouble. Fact is, they just started to remember things here and there. And one day i may get the full picture of other events that happened and when and if i do, i will deal with it or seek counseling if i feel i cannot deal with it myself. I will not just lay down and let it take over my life. I am more educated about things now then i was when i was 2 or 3 years old or even when i was 12 and done what my mother should have done in the begining. Put a stop to it. I was not the only child in the family that suffered because mom turned a blind eye and a deaf ear to what was going on because she would lose here free baby sitter. I cannot stress enough. Talk to your children. Do not assume that it cannot happen to your children. " IT CAN " so many innocent children are more than molested. They are killed to keep them quiet. The safety and well being of our children begin in our homes.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 108 (view)

Why are so many attractive people divorced? Posted: 4/18/2009 7:59:01 AM
With age comes wisdom. Maybe so many attrective people are divorced because that is all they had going for them and that is all their partner was looking for. Attractive / good looking men / women. Is that why there are so many divorces ? Some see what is on the outside and jump right in ? I had dated attractive men well educated men and rich men. Total A$$HOLES. Beautiful attractive people are nothing if they have no personality, manors, morals or respect for themselves or others. JMO

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

I am not your ex... Posted: 4/18/2009 7:50:06 AM
You are right. So many on here is not ready for anything really. Dating, ltr, etc....... There are players on POF and in the real world. Maybe you need to find a new place to hang out. Maybe you wear your heart on your sleeve. Maybe you talk to much about yourself " just saying" maybe. You might want to leave a little for the imagination . A little mystery never hurt. You young folks kill me. It is like you have to find him / her ding dang now ! When you get to be my age you want it ding dang now, but i have my guy. Take your time. I read on here where people meet and in one week it is love . Give me a break. Life may be short but, save yourself some grief by not having a bunch of ex girlfriends, ex wives. Your lady is out there. I have said this before . Love comes softly and when you least expect it. That was proven not long ago when a guy i know who was on here a long time found his lady and he had already given up. He is a very happy man.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

dating more then one at a time Posted: 4/18/2009 7:29:47 AM
For me. When i meet someone i feel a connection with and that feeling is reciprocated i stick with him. I have been funny that way. I figure # 1 , if i was to catch something, i know who to point the finger at. # 2, I could miss out on a good thing by not giving him an honest chance to prove himself. # 3 , I admit, i am old school but i am also a little older than some on this site. # 4, I have been with my guy for 6 months and he is talking about taking me to Oklahoma to meet his family. I have been honest with him in the fact that i do not want to marry again. He is okay with that. # 5, I do not want the label," SLUT PUPPY " some more old school i guess. But hey, ya'all have fun ya hear and be safe.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 72 (view)

She says cant find phone charger but... Posted: 4/18/2009 7:17:26 AM
Hello, do you need a wall fall on you to realize what is going on ? She is done, done , done. Find someone who will appreciate you. Good luck

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 145 (view)

is it wrong to end relationship over abortion? Posted: 4/18/2009 6:58:15 AM
Sounds like she is heartless. It is probibly for the best. If you stayed with her, you would have been doing the same thing over and over. I really do not think she is mature enough for a relationship let alone having a child. I would not worry about my peers that did not understand that you wanted to do the right thing but was denied the right. People sometimes worry about losing friends when something goes wrong. Set down and think about how many friends you really have. "TRUE FRIENDS " I think you will find you have more acquaintances then friends.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Break up for your kid's sake? Posted: 4/18/2009 6:46:58 AM
I think if both parties are mature, it can be dealt with. Then of course there is the age of the child. I dumped a guy because his daughter was so jealous that how ever much time he spent with someone , she demanded equal time. Big thing, she said jump he did not even ask how high. He just done it. Get this. She is 31 years old and even if her husband goes out with her dad to the auto parts store, he has to go somewhere with her. She is heavy set. Wears jeans, no belt and they droop down in the back. I figured out why. It was not because she had no belt on. Her daddy's ball$ are in there.

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 155 (view)

Women attributing their realtionship problems to chioldhood abuse.... Posted: 4/17/2009 9:27:54 PM
Other survivors slowly recover and start LIVING You are so right. It is a process and i really think parents should educate their children. They should never think that it cannot happen to their children. It can. It was slow for me but, i am living Thank you and hugs to you girl

stealth122148

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 153 (view)

Women attributing their realtionship problems to chioldhood abuse.... Posted: 4/17/2009 9:13:22 PM
If you were abused...GO SEEK COUNSELING. Period. The "I can't afford it" and the " I don't need it" crap is just that...crap. A serious traumatic experience has occurred in your life and you'll need assistance to try and cope w/ it. Having said all that...if you choose NOT to seek counseling then don't use your f*cked up childhood as an excuse why you aren't acting like a mature adult. Most of us had bad childhoods...to one degree or another...and most of us coping w/ the results. If you can't...seek help. If you won't seek help...for whatever reason...STFU and DEAL WITH IT. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Man you have the answers here don't you? Not ! You don't know $hit about nothing. I hope that if you have children and anything happens to them they have someone besides you to turn to. You want to hear about traumatic experience / abuse. My mother always like to go out on the town and have a good time. No matter what it cost her children. When i was very young she used to takes me and my sisters to our step grandpa's house. Keep in mind, i do not know how old i was. I don't even know if i was in school or not. I don't even remember the first time it happened but, he was molesting me. I have thought back and i can figure at the earliest, i was 2 nor 3. I had no idea there was such a thing, such a word. But to my story. Mom came back from her night on the town and walked in on him molesting me. She never said a word but when she got us home, she beat me within an inch of my life and i had know clue this was wrong until then. Even then , i still did not know what it was. Mom's husband at the time asked her why she beat me the way she did and she told him. He told her that was not her fault. Mom thought it was. We did not go around my step grandpa for awhile but mom got the urge to roam again and again she took us back to the molester. After being left with him several times mom asked " has he touched you anymore ? And what do you think i told her ? You got it " NO " I was victimized by my molester and my mother. I did not know there were laws against this. This continued until i was 12. We moved away as we lived next door to him. In time, he made his way back into our lives and when he tried to touch me, i fought him off. I was the one who stopped this monster. Later on he died. I went to the viewing simply to make sure he was dead. I kept all of this to myself for years. I was afraid to look anyone in the eyes as i thought they could see what happened and i felt ugly. Thought it was my fault. Finally the big turn around in the way i felt about myself and how other felt about me was when i told my husband what happened to me. He was the first one i ever said a word to about this. The only thing i do regret is that i was 50 years old when i opened up. That was always on my mind. My heart was always heavy and all of that changed when i brought what happened to me out in the open and saw it for what it was. If i had known years and years before what i know now. i would not have carried that burden so long. I also know that my mother and my step grandpa both could have went to prison for what they done. I have had some bad deals in my life but i never blamed it on what happened to me as a child. I do believe that there comes a time in your life when you are in charge of your life. You are responsible for what you do. Taking responsibility of the good / bad/ or indifferent things in your life is the first step. Second is to find a person you feel comfortable in opening up to about what happened to you. One thing i did do before i ever spoke of this to anyone was to talk to my children and explained to them that if anyone touched them in places they should not be touched to tell me.I was going to make ding dang sure that my children would not have to carry such a burden on their own and i done what i could to educate them to spare them the heartache, pain and shame i endured for more years than i should have. My whole life turned around when i opened up and told my story. I have had mothers come to me that know what happened to me and asked me to talk to their daughters. Their daughters are reluctant to say anything to me. So, i talk to them. They think i am reading their minds when i talk to them and tell them what happened to them , how they felt about it and that they most likely do not remember when it started. And that they never said anything about it because they did not think anyone would believe them especially when it is usually a family member or a good friend of the family and they did not want to make mom and dad mad. I have had them ask me, " how do you know what happened to me"? And i tell them and i also try to instill in them that they can chose to be a victim the rest of their lives or a survivor. Maybe i have told more here than what some may think is appropriate but, if one person can say " hey, thats what happened to me and decides to take a stand , i will not apologize to anyone. Those days are over.

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