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Midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Success, then utter disgusting failure Posted: 11/23/2009 10:49:17 PM
This is a very unique story, I've never read anything so crazy. What's interesting is your considering a second date and wasn't enraged at having to clean up a adults waste. Even if you don' mind cleaning up her poop, she already at the beginning has to many warning signs. Just say no when it comes to her, it won't be worth the trouble in the long run.

Midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Get that dog off the bed! Posted: 4/8/2009 3:08:08 AM
I think it depends on the person. I consider myself a dog lover and have been for years but none of my dogs has ever slept with me. The closest they've gotten to sleeping with me is beside my bed. I can see if your not accustomed to it a dog in bed with you would bother you. Be advised though alot of single women sleep with their dogs as a security blanket and become so accustomed to it their either unwilling or unable to stop.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Everything is great then Pride got in the way Posted: 3/20/2009 11:52:32 PM
First flag bringing her cousin, if you meet in a public place there's no need to bring a third party. That gets in the way of you getting to know one another, and shows insecurity from the gate. Second leaving to go talk to anyone and leaving you by yourself is rude and shows a lack of respect. That's probably one of the reasons she's single. Leave it be if your looking for a relationship, if not share if you like that.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Married for? Posted: 3/20/2009 5:14:53 PM
Zenbeth your story plus the others makes me wonder if marrying for love is a good thing? Seems like marrying for compatibility and goals seems to workout much better. Mike I understand that most people make a mistake on their first marriage but few nowadays can afford that mistake. It's scary in a way because a woman can not love you but put up the front like they do to get you to marry them. Only to find out years later that they never did love you. That's what started this forum, I was at work and like 10 out of the eleven admit not ever being in love with their husbands.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

WHY IS IT WHEN I TALK TO MY BABY MAMMA..... Posted: 3/20/2009 6:22:42 AM
Sometimes it's the fathers that take care of their children that suffers the most. I would say she still has bitterness and feelings for you that, seem to lead your conversations into arguments. I think the only thing that could help that is time and if she falls for another.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Married for? Posted: 3/20/2009 6:09:16 AM
Just a curious question for you. How many of you got married for another reason besides love? What was the reason and if you had to do it again would you? I'm finding that almost all the women that I know that are married or were married, didn't marry their spouse or ex for love. I found that most of the men I asked the same question have stated it was for love. So I'm curious as to who marrys for love more and what are the common other reasons it's done?

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Anyone else lose their appetite when you meet someone special? Posted: 3/19/2009 2:11:48 PM
Seems normal to me, when people get really excited some people do lose their appetite. I've felt it before it's pretty normal really and doesn't have to be over a person either. Also the opposite can happen over a failed relationship.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Man stabs wife with screwdriver while children watch Posted: 3/16/2009 11:42:57 AM
I guess the same way that NFL player's wife stabbed him in the head and neck got aggravated assault as well. Sometimes the charges are way too light , then at other times way too harsh.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

I don't want a relationship with anyone right now Posted: 3/15/2009 3:23:10 PM
Exactly RenaissanceMan that sentence is the reason and further shows your not as far along as you may think. You even admit you have your moments , it can't be up and down has to be consistant.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

I don't want a relationship with anyone right now Posted: 3/15/2009 2:45:49 PM
Weird means unique when thought of in a positive manner. I know you probably heard this before but you have to love yourself before others will. There was a time in school when I was weird and the girls weren't interested in me. When I cared and thought I was the problem it didn't change. The one year I just said .... them and did my thing not caring what others thought. Then all of the sudden I was the cool kid and instead of weird I was a deep thinker. It got so good my biggest teaser asked me to take her to the prom before it was over. You have to shake that it all really is mental and it's more then possible. Surround yourself with positive people that are for you.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

I don't want a relationship with anyone right now Posted: 3/15/2009 2:14:02 PM
Sabotaging date's with alcohol? How so? You also say that you were bitter about relationships before ever being in one , how's that possible?

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

I don't want a relationship with anyone right now Posted: 3/15/2009 1:48:46 PM
RenaissanceMan said it perfectly, it doesn't automatically mean that they lied to you. The one thing that bothered me if you told one guy he would do the same. Have you ever heard of a self fulfilling prophecy? You basically willed that relationship to fail, you have to think positive when entering a relationship. If you have that much doubt entering into a relationship don't , save you and the other person time because it's over before it began.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Different level at different time. Posted: 3/10/2009 5:03:10 PM
Lilwmn456 I told her multiple times that I cared for her and we had that conversation. I really don't have trust issues I just barely new the woman. I don't believe that when you don't know someone and you don't trust them completely, that it is a problem. I've known people that have trusted people from the beginning and got railroaded, I just think a healthy inbetween is best.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Different level at different time. Posted: 3/10/2009 9:31:47 AM
Packagedeal I agree with what your saying. I only dated this woman for three months , saw her about ten times total and she's expecting me to have some love type feelings for her and I barely know her. I was like are you kidding this can't be it tell me you think we're not a good match but not this stuff. I respect that she may have gotten strong feelings but to expect another to be (THAT) fast. I agree there had to be more stuff in store down the road, a blessing in disguise probably.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Different level at different time. Posted: 3/10/2009 12:13:01 AM
Packagedeal I agree that it doesn't mean the other person won't get there, I've seen examples that it does. What happened with me is I dated a woman for a few months she felt really strongly for me and I liked her alot and I felt it was growing. She got frustrated with it quickly and moved on. I felt that she should have given it longer time due to I don't trust or fall quickly.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Different level at different time. Posted: 3/9/2009 9:14:35 PM
Quick question for you guys. When dating do two people have to have the same level of feelings for one another at the same time. A example would be a guy faling for a woman and the woman liking the guy. Does it have to be exactly the same feelings? I personally feel that people have their own paces , some are faster to bond then others and some slower. I have know married couples that have experienced this. Also how long should the other person wait before moving on if the feelings aren't the same?

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Close girl friends think im gay. Posted: 3/9/2009 8:17:15 AM
You are different then what those women are use to, so they are confused by it and assume that you must be gay. I wouldn't worry about it really, it's a compliment in some ways on how you conduct yourself around women. Your probably respectful and don't give off a hint of the dog trait that is in some men.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

Not setting times for getting together? Posted: 3/9/2009 8:12:43 AM
Shyneon I've done that a few times with her just picked later times when I knew I would be good. Problem was I let her know I was doing that, and she knew that odds where that I was wasting extra time we could be spending together. Me and this woman really aren't talking anymore, because of this but the next woman I'll just do this method from the beginning. I'll just be sure not to let it out what I'm doing, prevent before it becomes a problem,it's a small thing to adjust to.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Not setting times for getting together? Posted: 3/9/2009 7:21:07 AM
Niflheim I have absolutely no problems commiting. See before this subject presented itself as a problem to me, the reason I don't like making a time if I'm not sure is because I want to make the appointment on time. To me giving a person a time is like making a promise, I don't give them lightly and don't break them ever ( at least so far.) In answer to your question I'm never late without breaking down on the side of the road or something similiar. See my whole life is like a schedule. Time to take out the dog, time to get ready for work, time to do a security check, time to get peoples paperwork done. I consistantly make these times , I was just trying to relax have somedays without set times. I guess for the majority of people not all which this forum shows, need their relationships to be on a schedule. It's not like I'm not capable of doing it, it's just that I wasn't sure since no ones ever brought this to me if it was normal for a person to expect (everything) on a schedule.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Not setting times for getting together? Posted: 3/9/2009 5:47:52 AM
Heart n soul that's a great idea not making plans on my recover day, I'm new to this shift and still adjusting. I understand where some of the plan people are coming from, but I also see that I'm not unusual either. There are quite a few people that agree with my perception on the subject as well. To me though it's a small thing , if a person needs a time or approximate time say so we're adults but if a persons more laid back or loosy goosy as one put it don't expect them to automatically give times for everything. I seriously never ran into a person that had a problem with that until now or at least said something about it.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Not setting times for getting together? Posted: 3/9/2009 12:00:59 AM
Interesting views I see that alot of people like getting times some don't. If asked to give a time I will do so it's not that hard really but to compensate I choose the latest time possible. I don't use the alarm clock on my days off, I think that that is for rest time I usuallyget up when I wake up naturally. I understand needing to get a time for somethings but every single thing? Personally I find it a bit anal to always need a time for something but there are anal people in the world. Trail girl when I say I'll call you when I wake up on the weekends it's in the morning. Workdays it's late I work 12 amto 8am. Don't get it wrong I may not volunteer a time but when asked to I give one.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

HOW DO I KNOW IF HE IS REALLY INTO ME? Posted: 3/8/2009 8:04:15 PM
A guy that text's you that much likes you, it might just not be his thing.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Not setting times for getting together? Posted: 3/8/2009 12:13:56 PM
Pinciperro I understand were you and Pssst are coming from, I'm a time person as well that's why I only give exact times when I know for sure that I'd make that time. The only thing with that is I would just make times really later to compensate for that. So I would say 2pm instead of the 10am or 11am it could be. Interesting though how this is viewed though I'm learning much. For me though if a person said call you when I get up, I'd be ok with it. I would go about my day and when they called cool, if I wasn't in leave a message and when I got in I would get back with them.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Not setting times for getting together? Posted: 3/8/2009 11:58:56 AM
Cogie36 that's exactly what I would expect you to do and it would be fine with me. Who sits around waiting for a call ?

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Not setting times for getting together? Posted: 3/8/2009 11:57:37 AM
Good view and I have no problem speaking to the answering machine. You could get back with me when it's good for you. I don't expect a person to sit by the phone, the call me methods a good idea but wouldn't work because of the hours I sleep I have to turn off th phone to sleep. Question though if I said 10 am and didn't call at 10 am is that worse then not giving a time and calling at 11am?

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Not setting times for getting together? Posted: 3/8/2009 11:44:43 AM
Just a curiousity question I have for the forum. I dated this woman for about three months that had a issue with me not setting times for us spending time together. When we had places to go like movies , dinner and the such I would set a time for meeting so we wouldn't be late , but other times like her coming over to chill I wouldn't say a exact time. It would go like I'll call you when I wake up, since I work odd hours I never like to say a exact time because if I don't call at the said time I feel that it's being unreliable. The woman felt it was keeping her at my whim, which I don't understand since we would know we we're getting together that day as soon as I a woke or completed a errand I had to complete. I just don't like making times unless I can commit to them is that wrong?

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

What a waste of time! Posted: 3/7/2009 3:23:02 PM
Since the relationship ended, does it really matter?

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

So she's got a bf, how should i pursue this? Posted: 3/5/2009 11:49:11 AM
That's pretty sneaky if it works, it will ruin two relationships.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Keep em waiting make em furious!! Posted: 3/5/2009 11:46:55 AM
The good thing about email is that you respond to it when it's a good time for you. I really wasn't aware of time limits on answering a email. If a person doesn't respond right away I think that they had something come up and will get back to me when they can.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Why sabotage what was turning into something great? Posted: 3/5/2009 11:38:46 AM
Well the first thing I'd say is that your not crazy. The description you give is very good and tells alot, probably without you knowing. Basically what your describing is a person that began to get second thoughts about the relationship and used passive aggressive behavior to end it. She gave you hints that she thought it wouldn't work and treated you in such a manner as to push you away. Basically end it without conflict, alot of people fear and detest conflict.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Women/Lesbians/Homos/Bi Posted: 3/5/2009 3:35:52 AM
I guess everyone has their own opinions, I can't really judge your state of mind on the matter. As for me I could careless what a persons sexual preferences are, that's their business really. I personally don't feel anything when I see two women kiss or two men kiss, even though I know a few friends that love to see two girls.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Rejection by phone or email after one great date and planned on another? Posted: 3/5/2009 3:24:51 AM
It was one date not anything serious. I think which ever you choose would be fine, as long as you do it nicely.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

PRE NUPTIAL AGREEMENTS Posted: 3/4/2009 9:09:56 AM
I think that it is the wise thing to do. You must protect yourself against the unknown.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Advice needed: She says she can't get over her perfect ex Posted: 3/2/2009 6:58:01 PM
Waste of time really and by sharing this with you she is guilt free, when you finally find out your wasting your time. When a rattlesnake shakes it's tail take notice and avoid it, don't pick it up.

midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Replies with nothing to build a conversation on, ?que da? Posted: 2/24/2009 5:56:44 AM
I think that closed in replies are meant to let you down nicely, by not requiring a reply.

Midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

How do I tell him that I care so much about him? Posted: 2/19/2009 6:38:41 AM
I say be honest with it anything else is too risky. You need to know how he feels about you, even if he's not at your stage yet. To hint or tap dance around it is to much of a mental game and could turn him off completely.

Midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Am I too honest???? Posted: 2/19/2009 6:34:23 AM
I don't think you are being too honest, I just think that you should include more about yourself and what your looking for. I think also including such a personal thing about yourself so soon could shock readers, even if they may not have a problem with it. I think that you should at least be is emailing each other for a while before you unveil that information. Give a person time to know you before they have to consider anything. Other then that I thing your profile is fine, the no Mr. Right part is a interesting view.

Midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Is this good advice? Don't do anything. Posted: 2/19/2009 6:24:17 AM
I think the advice overall was pretty good. However I don't think you take the words literally, there is a balance required here. You still communicate what you want from the beginning in actions and words. Meaning don't act like the traditional party girl but say you want to be a wife, if you want to be a wife act like it from the beginning. From some of your descriptions you could possibly be sending mixed signals. Say what you want but don't preach or nag about it. Sit back relax and watch to see if his actions show that your on the right track. From what you stated so far seems like it is a little fast( Trip to meet each others family in under two months, but if that pace is good for you great.)

Midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

am i stupid??? Posted: 2/18/2009 2:45:08 AM
Your not stupid just a little unwise. When you get involved with a person that is married you risk them never leaving their spouse or ending the relationship. When you enter a relationship with someone with kids you risk getting attached and having to let go if the relationship doesn't work. These are examples of life lessons, just learn and move on.

Midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 61 (view)

Man vs Woman Posted: 2/17/2009 4:30:12 PM
Savonawoman that was a very impressive view on the subject. After reading your thoughts on the matter, I agree with you totally. I believe you explained and broke down the reason completely. I will ask though because of this thread that happens online, would it be too much to say online dating by design is destructive ?

Midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Man vs Woman Posted: 2/16/2009 5:06:20 PM
I cornelius I'm not sure if your asking if a rift is torchwood or not. If you are it's not another word for it is chasm. I think what your talking about are examples of the (ME) society we live in today. Where people can't see past there own needs and wants.

Midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Man vs Woman Posted: 2/16/2009 4:31:03 PM
The longer I participate in these forums, I observe a strong rift between men and women. There is anger , fear and distrust associated between the two sexes. I find it strange that as much time as we spend with members of the opposite sex , we seem to learn nothing about one another. I'm curious as to why this is so and what started the rift in the first place? I also would like to read ideas on how to repair the rift if possible?

Midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Why are there still so many stereotypes about single mothers? Posted: 2/13/2009 11:34:01 PM
I feel where your coming from with the blessing and gift sentence but from the other side it's not seen as that. I still remember when I didn't have a son, I was reluctant to date mothers. That was something for me to consider each time. Even though to meet someones children is a huge show of trust, at the time I would past on that to meet someone without children. No that I have a child I feel I can't past on a woman that has children because I'm in the same boat. Now it's more of how many and what ages are they. Two or one is great three or more I'm thinking about it. Real young say 3 or under I consider as well.

Midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Why are there still so many stereotypes about single mothers? Posted: 2/13/2009 11:12:24 PM
I think you missed it a little, it's not that the men are ready for family life. It's a difference in starting your (OWN) family, then taking in someone else's children. A woman once told me she doesn't date men with children because when she has a child she wants it to be the man she's with first. That way they can share this first time experience together. When a person already has a family it robs you of this. Then you have the will her children like me? Will we all get along? What isher relationship with the children father or fathers? The hostile comments are not neccesary though just rude inconsiderate people.

Midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Thoughts on the Phoenix Suns coaching and trade rumors. Posted: 2/13/2009 10:57:25 PM
Since I'm not a Suns fan I have the benefit of looking at them from the outside. I agree with you that with Amari they are very exciting to watch. The problem is they aren't a contender because they don't play winning defense or rebound effectively. As gifted as Amari is he doesn't improve this aspect of the Suns. A (GOOD) trade that brings in two or more players that play a defensive physical style would help them more, then keeping a dunking highlight player.

Midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Why are there still so many stereotypes about single mothers? Posted: 2/13/2009 10:45:33 PM
I've never heard a guy say he won't date a woman that has children because he's intimidated by her ability to balance home and career. The one common thing I hear is that alot of men don't want to enter into a already made family. Alot of men want to start out one on one and later start their own family with a woman. Plus there's the difficulty of being introduced into a premade family. I believe a woman without children becomes more attractive because that's one less thing to deal with. I have a son and I believe that women that meet me have to consider the same thing, so I definitely believe a man without children is easier for single women.

Midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Should I have been invited? Posted: 2/12/2009 11:39:30 PM
I'll just make three points on this and leave it up to you. One if you been with her for 20 months and hung with her and these friends often. In that time does it seem a bit odd that they never mentioned it around you in that length of time? That the only time you heard about it is last minute? Second do you really time she would like you two go on vacation with two females and a male friend, regardless if the females were friends? I personally know no woman that would and never heard of one that would. Third she didn't invite you because what? (Not enough room?) So I guess theres no hotels there as well to huh? Wow I guess the price would be astronomical to rent a room for a week a whole week huh? Please OP use your common sense, I want you to be prepared for the train coming.

Midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

I got attacked!!! Posted: 2/12/2009 10:44:49 PM
I don't get anything racist from reading your profile. I just get that you only want to date White men and that's cool. I just think the person who sent that email to you was a little off.

Midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Why do women do stuff when you meet but then change? Posted: 2/6/2009 6:24:42 AM
It's not gender specific, you just met her represenative and later after she got comfortable you met her. Alot of people pretend to be who they think you want them to be then be them selves. Then after time their thru self emerges.

Midnightstorms

Joined: 8/14/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof? Posted: 2/5/2009 6:58:42 AM
Omtwf I understand to a extent what you say but you can control who adds you as a favorite it's the delete option. People aren't intimidated by a person with alot of favorites, most people correspond with their favorites and assume that people don't leave people on their profile as favorites just because. They see that your busy enough and search for someone with less action going on. Oh and women can be interested in women so that makes no difference their gender. I delete my favorites because whats the point in keeping them if you don't correspond, that's not a (FAVORITE.)

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