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Awkward Grape

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Carb Shakes, Weight Gainer Posted: 7/28/2009 4:31:53 PM
Eating more food is easier said than done. I'm 30 and have always had trouble being 'motivated' to eat more than what I need every day since I was a baby, minus the occasional times where the food is actually something I really really enjoy. Great delicious food costs an arm and a leg. I've tried everything from following a daily meal plan coupled with light weight training and cardio and the max I have ever gained was about 12 pounds in one year. Since the body absorbs liquids better than solids, shakes would be the more optimal choice for me as well as the cost ratio to having a mixture of delicious meals and 'plainer' foods like carb breakfast, followed by half an hour to an hour of cycling, half a chicken, eggs, fish, red meats like steak, etc, for lunch and dinner, followed by a protein snack at night. Basically, smaller meals, five or six times spread over the day. It does dig into my pockets quite a bit and I am simply not 'motivated' for it. Therefore, I need something that can help boost my weight up and then maintain it with a mixture of regular meals and shakes. I will give the suggestions by Candid and Mystie a try. However, thanks for all of your suggestions. PS: I rarely eat sweets and when I get drinks like milk tea or tea by itself, I rarely add more than half a teaspoon or a teaspoon of sugar. Most of the time, I don't even add sugar.

Awkward Grape

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Carb Shakes, Weight Gainer Posted: 7/27/2009 7:00:39 PM
Anyone have any suggestions to a weight gainer shake that doesn't taste super freakin sweet? I've tried two different brands and the two buckets I have right now are killing me, even though I bought Vanilla and Strawberry flavored with the suggestion from the girl at GNC.

Awkward Grape

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

Who Loves Thunder storms? Posted: 7/27/2009 6:55:50 PM
I absolutely adore them. The one a couple of days ago was awesome. Dark orange sky, purplish white lightning, booming thunder. Gorgeous.

Awkward Grape

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

the difference between men and women Posted: 7/27/2009 6:52:33 PM
Wow, that was awesome. ^_^

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

FOR THE HORDE! Posted: 7/7/2009 3:10:03 PM
Lineitup, is that the same Afterlife as Thott? I also play Eve Online. Fantastic visuals. Awesome music. Epic battles. Lots of alone time. As for WoW, been playing it since Feb 2005. I have an 80 MM/Survival Hunter and an 80 Resto Shaman that I play often.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 2312 (view)

Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all? Posted: 6/18/2009 4:04:36 PM
and I asked him if having no pic on his profile was an attempt to weed out the shallow people! Actually, I post my pics up to weed out people that dislike the way I look. ^_^ It wouldn't make sense to me if a person isn't all-encompassing in terms of being attracted to. If you look through almost every profile, people post up their best and most comfortable pics. I doubt a picture of me dancing around in circles wearing a jester's hat, drunk is a very good impression of me. ^_~ Anyway, I've contacted a few people without pictures recently, but I never received a reply or they were simply really boring to talk with/to.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 46 (view)

Guys Who Post Long Term and Don't Mean It?????? Posted: 6/18/2009 1:54:59 PM
I have a guy friend who is exactly like that. He IS looking for a long-term gal, but he still dates around. Why? Simple: - he hasn't found what he wants yet - he is torn between you and someone else He might be the one for you, but it doesn't mean you're really the one for him.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

good or bad? Posted: 6/18/2009 1:48:35 PM
Someone that is... Good girl: 80% Bad Girl: 20% Some attitude is yummy. I wouldn't stand for a girl that tries to treat me like crap, but I wouldn't mind a little **iness, but she should still be considerate of my mood. As to why some men let some women treat them so badly? This could be for varying reasons: - guy feels she is only like that half the time and if he works on the relationship, better things can happen - guy has low self-esteem and allows the lover to step all over them - guy feels he can't find someone 'better' and nicer, so accepts what he could get - guy fell in love with lover who was once really nice but later turned out to be a ** - guy cheated on lover and somehow made their relationship work, but girlfriend has a grudge and treats him badly while he takes it - girl cheated on guy, but guy took her back and with that, girl takes advantage of him - girl offers great sex, but nasty attitude - guy is submissive and loves to be dominated

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Why the ridicule & the look of disgust Posted: 6/18/2009 1:42:51 PM
Where is your Bat'leth? I wager these women were mocking you because it is dishonorable to see a Klingon warrior without his weapons at hand! That is the coolest comment I've seen today! /ahem

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

How do you stop crying? Posted: 6/18/2009 1:35:33 PM
Getting really scared would stop me from crying. Realistically speaking, when someone is crying, they won't be able to stop immediately even after someone gives them a hug or try to make them laugh. However, a huge scare would probably stop someone from crying quite immediately, unless s/he is too young to be scared.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Strong and Logical Argument FOR The existence of Divine Beings Posted: 6/18/2009 1:30:36 PM
The problem is that humans cannot fathom much more than beyond their own lifespans and if they could, not more than the lives of their family - eg: up to your great grand parents time. With that said, divine beings is not an universally applied term. Scientists that are not of a religion/faith could very well define the universe as a 'divine being', but those who do follow religion/faith exact a definition for the 'creation' of the universe as God or Gods and Goddesses. Mind you, in Buddhism, this is called Nirvana or 'the force'. Science is a constantly changing working theory. Where religion/faith is a chemically-induced feeling sparked by a myriad of experiences. Eg: a friend was rebellious in her teen and only after a heartbreaking break-up with her then boyfriend, did she find god in her. Or another example: my aunt has always been abused emotionally by her egotistical controlling husband and became in-tuned with her Christian god where she can seek refuge with. The Big Bang is a working theory. It is a "theory" because no scientist can be so bold to declare that everything is absolute, when everything around us is constantly being improved on and truths are constantly being filtered and explored. On the other hand, religion/faith relies on personal deduction and even then, personal deduction is largely dictated by justifying what one cannot grasp with the 'unknown' factors of one's feelings. I for one believe in nothing in particular. 'God' is an interpretation. More than anything, I have a spiritual relationship with the universe and that's not even saying much because it need not to. When I am sad, I seek out my friends and family. When I need refuge, I find it in the things that have accumulated in my life that I find comfort in. When I require help, there are the few that would offer their support to me. God and Gods are as much as divine beings as I am to the ants and beetles that skitter below me. Yet, I am just another being in this vast unknown.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 207 (view)

World of Warcraft Posted: 2/1/2009 12:10:55 AM
This might seem like a silly question, but how do you all balance life and these games? I've just always heard of how addictive they can be and don't know anyone in real life who plays them Well, I have a job, I have clients to meet, projects to do and an outdoors club I am responsible for. On top of that, I have friends that want to hang out every weekend, family events to attend to and other things to fill in the repetitiveness of gaming. The game is fun but I have more to my life than a computer game. My cousin in Hong Kong plays this game too. He absolutely does not go outside, never sees his friends, skips work, skips school and eat all of his meals in his room. He is addicted to it. I surmise it's because life outside of the game is lacking. He has complete control over his toon and no one can abandon him or dissatisfy him. It's just a guess coinciding his behavior and attitude.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Sniffing knickers. sexy or sick Posted: 1/31/2009 1:33:17 PM
Well, it's a fetish. If you like it. Great. Good for you. Congratulations.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Bush's Legacy Posted: 1/25/2009 12:57:48 AM
I'm not a Bush fan at all, but what RSWindol said there is quite an accurate representation of Bush Jr. To top it off, I would also like to add that he's one president that has had two shoes thrown at him during a televised conference. I think that last bit would summarize how many people in the world view him. However, in some ways, I kind of feel bad for the guy. Aside from all the bad calls and conspiracy theories, in his mind, he probably did try to do a good job. At least, the job that he felt was necessary.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 33 (view)

Gung Hay Fat Choy! Posted: 1/25/2009 12:56:47 AM
Happy new Lunar year everyone. I'm an Earth Horse born in 1979.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 82 (view)

The stories of the Bible Posted: 1/24/2009 11:47:50 PM
It's true, there are many Christians who really believe that a talking snake tricked a rib-woman into eating a magic apple 6000 years ago resulting in death, pain, and disease, and that this damage could only be undone if God sacrificed Himself to Himself to change the rule that He, Himself, made. /sigh I say the exact same thing and dagnabbit, this always cracks me up. "be undone if God sacrificed Himself to Himself to change the rule that He, Himself, made"

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Of Agnosticism and Atheism, or Why people need to label things. Posted: 1/24/2009 11:28:35 PM
I don't like to call myself anything in regards to religion/faith. If a friend asks me what I believe in, I say I believe that there is a power beyond ourselves and it is completely neutral and apathetic to how we live our lives and whether it is even aware of our existence. If a stranger/acquaintance ask me what I believe in, I tell them that I am an unlabeled spiritual person with a casual outlook on such matters. It's not something that rules me and it never will. Religious/faith isn't a huge issue where I live (GVRD, British Columbia), but there are instances where it does pop up every now and then. The Christian and denominations populace is quite large here. In fact, half of my friends think I am going to a place called "Hell" that will burn me for all of eternity. It's a nice thought that contradicts the all-loving nature of their God. /ahem Aside from that, I had thought I was a Buddhist up until roughly six years ago. My parents never taught us or forced us into it. It just happened when I was going through my teenage years. I'll say this, I do look into Zen Buddhism as a philosophy, but I wouldn't go so far as following it and making it into a religion/faith. This 'passion' to debate/argue with the religiously faithful can only go for so long before my energy is spent. It's 2009. We would think ancient scripture with tons of loopholes would be abolished by now. /sigh The virus will only continue to spread.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

he'll sleep with you, but won't kiss you Posted: 1/24/2009 11:16:06 PM
I agree with Rdcnorm on the kissing thing. I think kissing is 'more' intimate or rather, it's the personal acknowledgment that you are giving yourself to the person. Sex with someone without that depth is just physical pleasure, trying to meet a certain need and release. Same as Rdcnorm, I find that sex is much more fulfilling with someone I can kiss and have a connection with rather than with someone for the pure sex. It takes quite a bit focus to get the FB off, as well as myself. As for why did he stop kissing her or never kissed her, it could very well mean he's simply not interested in her that way.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 67 (view)

Child Torture - Can God Exist? Posted: 1/24/2009 4:53:22 PM
God did not intend for this baby to be tortured by his mother and her loser boyfriend Yes he did. God DID intend the baby to be tortured by the mother and the boyfriend. Remember that humanity's life through Christianity IS linear. The idea of 'free will' is an illusion. I can prove this by referring to what you believe in. The Christian God IS omniscient. That means God from the beginning of time to the end of time have already foreseen this. It IS included in his plan. God has foreseen ALL of these things happen every second of every year for the last 6000 years (since apparently, the universe is only 6000 years). Since God IS omniscient, God ALREADY KNEW that the baby was going to be tortured. Yet God did nothing to stop it. Why? It IS NOT because of free will. It IS because of HIS plan - being omniscient means EVERYTHING has already been foreseen. If God is NOT omniscient, then it would make sense that humanity can make mistakes and God is not liable for humanity's mistakes. However God DOES know that these 'evil' acts will occur and yet does nothing. It IS in his plan. What makes this even more infuriating is that Christians believe God is NOT liable for the evil acts of humanity based on free will. Since God IS omniscient - aka, all-seeing and all-knowing, God already knew this will happen. ON TOP OF THAT, God IS omnipotent. Which means he is all-powerful and all-influential. God is UNLIKE our parents. Our parents have emotions, have principles, have influences, have limitations to their perceptions and abilities. God IS omniscient and omnipotent. It would only make sense for humans to have a plan, to wish its children to be good. God doesn't need to wish or try to intend humans to be good. It's ALREADY in its plan. God IS omniscient and IS omnipotent. If I can bold and increase the font size for those two words, maybe these Christian readers can finally 'wake-up' and get it into their dense skulls what those two words actually mean and how they actually contradict "free-will". I'm a firm believer that children who die get automatic entry into heaven Yet again, a personal interpretation of how Christianity works. I can guarantee you that many other Christians do not believe that. They believe that people HAVE TO submit to Christ to be able to go to Heaven. People of faith will ALWAYS have different interpretations. So who's right? Who's wrong? How can you be sure your view is the right one? You see the contradictions? If you're all contradicting each other, how can you even remotely say that your faith is the absolute one, when especially you have all just proved that your interpretations are all different? Jesus was tortured to death in a manner very few countries would allow today More people were tortured before, during and after Jesus in Israel, around it and all over the world. Jesus only gets special recommendations because you're Christian.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Guys, have you ever kissed a fella? Posted: 1/23/2009 2:01:06 PM
During high school, one of my male friends suddenly grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me in for a full kiss. I was both shocked and grossed out but I did not react to it. After he did that, I wiped my mouth repeatedly and washed it out with mouthwash and wiped my lips some more. However, I didn't say anything in particular to my friend. The shock and disgust only lasted about 10 minutes.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

question christians Posted: 1/23/2009 1:38:16 PM
James, I love that quote. I have that on my Facebook. ^_^ Best Kept Secret, prayer is firstly, redundant. You mentioned that God gave us free will. Now I can counter that by saying what most Christians also say, that God has a plan for everyone and everything, and everything since day 1 of creation has already been pre-planned. Don't forget that your version of God is omniscient. Which means God is all-seeing and infinite. God already foresaw everything from beginning to end. Therefore, whether you pray or not would not make a difference. You also said that prayers DO work. I call that a bunch of bullshit. Curing someone of an illness or detouring a disaster through God is just as random as hoping to any other deity/alien or simply not praying at all. I can GUARANTEE YOU that if God truly gave us free will, prayer would NOT be answered. It doesn't make sense when God interferes through prayer with a free will society. The day you pray to God and 100% of your prayers get answered through the miraculous works that Jesus supposedly did - eg: cure blindness and regrow ears/limbs, is the day I would submit to the Christian God. No one since the time of Jesus has had their limbs regrown through 'miracles'. When was the last time you saw one man part an entire ocean to save people from persecution? I didn't see it in Africa during the tribal genocides. I didn't see it in the Bosnian war. I didn't see it in the Middle East. It's convenient to believe in such stories from an ancient superstitious time and say it's the truth, yet with so much that has happened in the last 2000 odd years, no new mighty Christian miracles has happened. Until then, it's rather humorous that God is credited to all good things but never liable for any of the bad things in the world. Have any of you read the Old Testament? The New Testament is profoundly different than the Old one, yet it's supposedly from the same God. Could we say that humans had a hand in changing the scriptures to fit their own needs? Just as well, who's to say that God is all-loving? Just because an ancient book says so? Just because of the random voices inside your head? Good can only exist if evil goes along with it. God's all-loving ideal is utterly rubbish. It cannot exist without the other. God is simply the same being as the devil. No all-loving being can cast down its children into a burning hell for eternity and still say, "I love you." I call a God like that abusive and emotionally controlling. In reality, if a person did that, you would condemn him. God does that, you worship him.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 77 (view)

Found out my partner is secretly bisexual!! Devastated!! Posted: 1/23/2009 1:14:44 PM
First, Ameerra, I also think you have some good points as well. Woodstar's intentions was to give awareness to bisexuality. Your approach is to address the real problem. As for Carolann0308, I do not disagree with you. I think that was just a misinterpretation. When it comes down to it, the real issue that I think we all agree on is that the guy tried to cheat or has already cheated and this is the thing the OP will have to work out with her partner.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

Found out my partner is secretly bisexual!! Devastated!! Posted: 1/22/2009 9:04:45 PM
I don't understand why it is difficult for people to accept that bisexuality exists. It's so easy to comprehend. Think of a range of attraction factors on a linear scale. Coupled with hormonal and emotional instructions created inside your body, a person is capable of being turned on and attracted towards another person based on the varying factors that connect them to it. Taking a look at this a lot less extremely, say you like the colour red. Does that mean you only like the red designation of #ff0000? Can you also not like the spectrum of red between #ffe8e8 to #ff0000? You can argue it's not the same thing, but we are talking about sexual attraction and preference here. Would it be accurate to say you like women that have really dark skin, long black hair with hazel eyes and disliked women anything but that? Of course not. Is it possible for you to be attracted to a not as fit woman? Of course. Is it possible to be attracted to a woman that has bulging muscles that is normally out your range of attractiveness? Definitely. So how are those attraction levels defined? Is it some black and white law that we abide by through a common social system? Though there is social influences, what you're attracted to is based on what your hormones and your emotions dictate. If you have to choose a gender to be attracted to, then the action of choosing is no longer a natural phenomena but an artificial action pressured by outsiders, fearing how they look at you. It's incredible that there are people here, non religious people who think in black and white. It's amazing because it's 2009. I would think that our ability to critically think would have already adopted beyond such limitations. Anyway, I totally and utterly agree with Woodstar. Now that's good advice.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

Found out my partner is secretly bisexual!! Devastated!! Posted: 1/22/2009 8:07:40 PM
Carolann0308, didn't you read and understand the rest of my comment? The "Unless you have a distinct anti-sexuality stance" part of my comment is to address the "First the fact that he is Bi" and "But is this possible if he is bisexual?" part of OP's concerns. In fact, my post was to address the cheating aspect of the partner. What I was saying was to make it clearer for the OP that his sexual range of preference shouldn't even be such a big deal, UNLESS she was against it. I was giving OP perspective that sexual preference is ONE aspect of being together with someone. Since he IS bisexual, it just means his preferences incorporates more than just women. Alas, I'm not sure if you even understood my comment, especially when I pointed out #3 "This third factor you actually mentioned but did not particularly address. He DID try to fulfill his fantasy by setting up a time where he can meet someone for it. " - in other words, he was trying to cheat. What I was telling OP was that she should address this issue with her partner. However, if the 'real' issue is because he is bisexual, then she can be educated through external means. Most people cannot and are not willing to accept that sexual preference is attraction factor and not something you choose to do. It is a hormonal and emotional process inside our bodies. I was just telling OP this.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

Found out my partner is secretly bisexual!! Devastated!! Posted: 1/22/2009 6:23:05 PM
Angebella88, it seems many people have a very narrow view of what sexuality is. Your partner is bisexual. That means he is attracted to both sexes. It's just that simple. There is no sinister plot that interferes with whom he is in love with and has a connection with. Being bisexual is no different than being straight or gay - other than the preference of attraction. Clarity: let's put it this way - say he IS completely straight. Instead of asking "But is this possible if he is bisexual?", ask yourself "But is this possible if he is straight?" Is it possible that he can be WITH ANOTHER WOMAN? OF COURSE it is possible that he can be with ANOTHER woman. Him being bisexual just means that it is ALSO possible that he can be with ANOTHER man. It does NOT change the fact that HE LOVES YOU and has that connection with you REGARDLESS of his sexual preferences. Obviously, his sexual preferences include women. You are a woman. Now, let's talk about the other issues like 1) hiding it and 2) 'lied' about it for the past year. 1) Hiding is understandable. Not good, but understandable. Imagine yourself in his shoes. Being in love with you and do not want to destroy the relationship with you, but have an aspect of himself that desires for experimentation. Obviously, he was struggling. It doesn't make it more right, but it's understandable. 2) What is it exactly that he lied about? You did not state this in your original post. He hid it, yes, but lied? Where and when? 3) This third factor you actually mentioned but did not particularly address. He DID try to fulfill his fantasy by setting up a time where he can meet someone for it. Of all of the issues you talked about, none of them are nearly as 'important' as #3 as I've pointed it out. Unless you have a distinct anti-sexuality stance, his bisexuality is just a gender preference. It has no interference in your relationship with him. The problem really lies in his secret account to fulfill a fantasy. This is something you have to work out with him REGARDLESS whether he is bisexual or not.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Who has ever had the fantasy of video taping yourself during sex? Posted: 1/22/2009 5:54:14 PM
My ex and I made videos of ourselves having sex and engaging in other delicious massages. After we broke up the first time, she emailed me in a fit of rage threatening me to not post those videos up on web sites. Seeing that, I was pretty ticked off that she didn't know me at all. Our relationship did not work out, but that doesn't mean I am petty to reveal her outside. We mended our relationship and spent another year together. In that year, we made numerous videos and still images. Even after our relationship ended, I have her videos and images in a DVD. Before we broke up, we even considered having our own softcore site. Think of it as foreplay with a kitty-cat theme. Of course, there aren't many women and men out there that are daring and brave enough, let alone liberal enough to allow their partners to video tape them having sex. It's too bad, because it's great for those long rainy days. Then again, there are a lot of stards and **es who DO release homemade images and videos to web sites. I really despise that sort of immaturity.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 80 (view)

I'm a musician and I fell for a deaf girl... Posted: 1/22/2009 5:47:56 PM
I do not see you as being shallow. Selfish, yes, but not shallow. I think some people have very different interpretations of what shallow means especially in relation to intimacy. Reminder: love IS selfish. Love is a self-induced series of emotions that create the initiation to wish to bond with someone of attraction. Then through that bond, create a desire for reciprocating what you express to that person. What makes this really poetic is that you, the musician have a connection with this person that cannot hear your voice and your music. It IS a HUGE barrier BUT... /ponders May I use an imagined scenario? Imagine you're playing your instrument, she can see your actions and she will try to feel you through your actions, your passions. If you are creative, you can translate your music in the form of shape, colour and touch and other varying sensations that she may comprehend. Of course, this requires that both of you are capable of such connections. That both of you are patient with each other and able to perceptively step over such barriers. Love IS selfish. What you do for others, care, consideration, to try to give her/him happiness, etc, is all just an expression of the love you create inside of you. Ultimately, choose the regret you can live with over the one you feel you cannot.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

Guys, Is It An Urban Myth Or Are Women With Tats Easier Than Women With None? Posted: 1/22/2009 5:26:16 PM
Definitely not. I have a friend who wanted a tattoo of a butterfly and a buttercup flower on her ankle and though she looked fantastic, she definitely was not one to sleep around. Of course, the whole tattoo thing just means she is willing to show more of herself - aka, being more comfortable about herself and how she looks. I know/knew more women and men whom had no tattoos sleeping around a lot more than women and men who had tattoos. Then again, we can attribute that to ratio of tattooed individuals with those who don't have them. Ultimately, this is a matter of the individual and not the stereotype.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

Open loving relationships without commitment Posted: 1/22/2009 5:21:38 PM
Whenwillthiswork26, I feel I desire to stick up for you after reading some of the comments here. What you desire in your OP is a solution and complimenting opinions and not simply stating "You're wrong!" or "He doesn't owe you anything!" - which I believe isn't actually the issue here. I have never been in this sort of relationship before. It's not my particular thing. However, I do understand what you're saying and asking. 1) Even in an open relationship, both partners should be able to tell each other their thoughts and feelings. Small things, not a biggy. Sometimes, a few things may not even be a part of the connection, but from what you're saying, things like that seem redundant to hide, especially in this sort of relationship. 2) When one of them cannot, you may need to get down to the bottom of it and find out why s/he is acting the way s/he is/was. 3) If s/he feels this sort of relationship may jeopardize his/her other aspects like career and family, and if this bothers you, then you can choose to end it or work out a compromise. 4) If that isn't the case and it simply means it's a part of his/her personality, regardless of what s/he wants, then again, you can choose to end it or work out a compromise. 5) Often, the feelings associated to speech/talk/conversation is different than actually doing it. So your partner can simply feel half-hearted in this open relationship. Maybe even awkward and uncertain. 6) You can ease him/her into it, by taking it through milestones if you have the patience and tolerance. If not, again, you can choose to leave your partner or work out a compromise.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 802 (view)

would you date a stripper? Posted: 1/22/2009 5:12:59 PM
I wouldn't mind having a relationship with a stripper. It really depends what she does outside being a stripper that may affect whether I want to continue a relationship with her or not. Eg: I would not have an intimate relationship with someone who is a stripper and sells her mouth, hands and vagina to interested money-generous men and women. Mind you, this has not happened (yet) to me. Therefore, this is only a conclusion of what I feel at the moment. It really depends on varying factors.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 63 (view)

Child Torture - Can God Exist? Posted: 1/22/2009 5:01:46 PM
It seems like many of us, agree to a point with God/energy/higher power/universe/aliens as a/the Creator. I think when it comes down to it, the question really remains: is God/energy/higher power/universe/alien(s) all-loving? Of course, scriptured faith may dictate that God can only be all-loving, but obviously this is not the case. The whole idea that a Christian God does not interfere with humanity is completely baseless ESPECIALLY when prayer is demanded. If you know your Old and New Testaments, then you would also know that the theist God DOES interfere with humanity. Your personal interpretation of God being non-interfering in a world of 'free-will' does not mean it is the correct interpretation. It is simply your translation. You have 2.1 billion Christians and their denominations all tell you different things. Until all 2.1 billion of those Christians tell you the same thing, that their God has answered their prayers and apparently it does, then for sure, humanity may accept Christ/God as the one 'truthful' Creator of all. Alas, since that will NEVER happen and it has NEVER EVER happened, we can only exert that we're all wrong because we cannot come to an unified conclusion as to whether God exists OR RATHER, if God (or another term for this deity) is actually capable of emotion. Think about it: if God created us, why would anyone automatically believe that God is all-loving just because a book written in ancient times says so? God can very well be emotionless and apathetic and the voices inside your head during prayer is simply just your own thoughts trying to comfort you. Of course, this is also just an interpretation BUT I would say quite rational and logic compared to "it just is, therefore it is" that many literal Christians truly believe unfortunately. BTW, here is an excellent comic "Jesus & Mo" on this exact topic: http://www.jesusandmo.net/2008/10/08/world/

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

What Would Do If Your Date Said To You, I'm Use To Dating Someone Better Looking Than You? Posted: 1/22/2009 4:50:40 PM
I think it would be an interesting scenario for me if my date said that to me. My reaction? I would most likely say, "Okay." The logic behind this is that there is no guarantee that what she thinks is handsome or sexy is in the same series of standards that I find beautiful and delicious. So of course, with so many people in this world, I'm sure she has had much more physically suitable dates than with someone like me. Clarity: it might make me feel awkward and uncomfortable for the moment, but it won't affect me so much to be upset about it. However, it really depends on what happens after that. Is she going to persist that I am not as handsome/sexy? If so, then I will make the choice to stop seeing her. If she simply mentioned that but has no further rejections, then I don't see a problem with it. Of course, she has no tact, but I wouldn't use it as an excuse to eject myself from that relationship.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

How do you break up with someone without hurting them? Posted: 1/22/2009 12:26:35 AM
Like other have mentioned, do so without hesitation and honestly. Don't beat around the bush and just get right to the point. "Hurting someone" is all a part of the whole process of 'dating'. 'Dating' is a risk factor. So let it be a lesson to the person you're breaking up with and to yourself. He seems like the type of person to try to make you feel guilty and obligated. If that is the case, step away from the situation regardless of what he says to you. It would be immature on his part to try to control you through such means. Drama will only occur when you respond to it.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

I kinda feel rejected Posted: 1/21/2009 5:30:22 PM
This may look obvious, but it's all trial and error. As with everything, you either try it and potentially lose it and whine over it, OR you don't try it and potentially regret it. If one thing doesn't work for you, then try something else. Recently, I went snow shoeing at Cypress. I had to hike up a pretty steep hill. I walked to some point and I slid down, backwards, stopped myself, looked around and reassessed for another route. This same thing can be applied to everything in your life. If you're like many of the people who complain "How do I get over him/her?" or "How come I can't find someone to love me?", then you are most likely charging ahead and not learning from your mistakes over and over and over and over and over again. Hey, there are roughly 6.5 billion people on this rock we call 'home'. You chose one girl and that isn't working out. The net houses (estimating) say 2 billion people. I say you have a good chance. If at the moment, you can't find someone to provide you what you want, then simply put: you're either doing all the 'wrong' things or you're not trying hard enough.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

What, to you, is morality, ethics, ethical deeds? Posted: 1/21/2009 5:12:36 PM
Excellent topic. I recently wrote/typed an essay/article on this same topic. Hands down, morality is based on a single community intertwined with common society. Moral standards are created when two or more people in a community wish to secure certain ideals. Those ideals can incorporate many ideologies and those ideologies make up the foundations for the laws that govern common society as a whole within a region of the world/universe. Personally, I believe there should NOT be an universal law to govern all people, BUT I do believe that there should be a basic standard to guide all people towards a certain ideal, while keeping most of their own. To address "the underlying guiding principles ARE as they are, not as they should be" - principles are created within an individual unlike the morality of society, which is created to govern the whole. A morally evil person can be just as principled as a morally good person. The only difference is what that moral evil is compared to the moral good. You see, evil and good are just two words to describe one end of the spectrum versus the other end. In other words, what is most ideal in the community versus what isn't. Morality caters not the individual but caters to the idea of the whole. What is right and what is wrong ultimately resides on two plains: 1) moral standards created by the community as a whole and 2) the principles you hold within yourself. With these two plains in view, the person then chooses to do or not do things with the influential struggle between these two plains. As well, don't forget the influences of your local community - eg: your family, your friends, your co-workers, etc. This is an interesting topic with like-minded individuals, even if we disagree on certain areas, but what makes the topic bad is when someone introduces God and other religious deities into the fold. When that happens, the topic ends and there is no more discussion. Not because "it just is, therefore it is", but because there is no philosophy in such things. Anyhow, I really like the various answers given here so far. It's refreshing to discuss something like this without bringing deities beyond the grasp of humanity into this topic. I very much like Greg's point of view in morality - that there are many different ideals that fit into different groups of people and places.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 194 (view)

World of Warcraft Posted: 1/21/2009 3:07:41 PM
I've been playing on and off since February 2005. Tauren MM Hunter - 80 - Shinozaki Tauren Resto Shaman - 75 - Omusubi Tauren Protection Warrior - 26 - Mom Tauren Balanced Druid - 20 - Momoo Tauren Frost Death Knight - 59 - Bishamon BE Holy/Disc Priest - 36 - Kamichu I started Shinozaki back in April 2005. His name was originally Capricorn and was created on Sargaras. Then I moved him to Detheroc, then to Tortheldrin, to Anub-Arak, to Ner'zhul, to Daggerspine, back to Tortheldrin and finally settled in Thunderlord where I am currently playing with four of my friends. Omusubi started on Ner'zhul, moved to Tortheldrin and then to Thunderlord. His name was originally Canada which became Mushybeer and then now as Omusubi. I only liked the DK's initial chain quest. After that, I stopped playing it. I've played tons of other MMO games and though I've suspended by WoW account a few times for a month to a few months, I always went back to it. The other MMO I frequent is EVE Online.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Most men are too picky Posted: 1/21/2009 2:58:18 PM
'Super models' is very inaccurate in describing my 'pickyness'. It's always about a series of things that I like about any individual. It's not actually one standard set in stone. It IS NOT: she has to be this and that and she has to look like this and that and she has to be like this and that. It IS MORE LIKE: how is this person and is she suitable for what I want? AND "what I want" is an infinite ocean of ideals, factors, attachments, etc. I NEVER think someone is out of my league. That is ridiculous. The problem is I already know what works for me and what I like and based on those series of attraction factors, I know I have too many obligations to fulfill the desire to make someone happy. Therefore, I find other sorts of connections. /chuckles It's a lonely world where I am.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 96 (view)

Your intentions when you Joined POF... Posted: 1/21/2009 2:52:39 PM
I impulsively joined PoF hoping to find someone who can connect with me. The 'relationship' itself is not as important as the connection. However, after I signed up, I stopped coming back here for a long time. I've always been iffy on internet dating/penpal sites. I don't like pre-conceived notions and expectations. Alas, I find myself at this forum today. What's my goal? Partially to be heard, maybe to see how others react and perceive my words. Internet dating isn't my thing. It would be nice if it works for me, but I have better chances meeting someone in person than someone over the net.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 51 (view)

A word between like and love Posted: 1/21/2009 2:48:52 PM
Like and love is a play on words. In reality, they are one and the same. To look at this deeper, you have to look at the foundation. At the foundation, look at your relationship with people in general. There is ALWAYS a shade of connections you have with an individual that fluctuates over time and experiences, as well as moods. If the different layers of your connections with a certain person is in-tuned enough, then that means the shades of your connection with that person is more vibrant and more solid. You can translate this as being 'being in love'. If you feel your connection with her isn't as strong, then you can translate this as being 'in the process'. Ultimately, don't use the words "like" or "love". Instead, think of a globe of colours or a linear spectrum of colours. When you think like this, then everything makes a lot more sense then simply, "Do I like her, or do I love her?"

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

About the Friendship First Posted: 1/21/2009 2:44:02 PM
I think you're looking at this too critically. For example, all of my past girlfriends started off as friends. Some of them started off as friends for about two weeks before we became intimately involved. Others took a few months. One took a few years. To me, friendship is just another way of saying, "Whatever happens, happens. There are no expectations." Another HUGE factor is perception. Having a good dose of perception is an awesome thing. Being able to perceive how your 'friend' responds to you, can give you an idea whether she is explorable further or not. Personally, I prefer it this way. There are no pre-conceived ideas of anything. It makes everything comfortable for everyone AND there is a lot of freedom to experiment.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 232 (view)

Being in The Right League Posted: 1/21/2009 2:39:23 PM
I completely agree with Discofied: "I think this "out of your league" stuff is just absolute garbage." 'Standards' is a series of factors that make up a string of preferences. 'Standards' are too inflexible in the world of love economics. It may work in some corporate establishments, but it will hardly work for those seeking intimate encounters deeper than simple physical lust and penetration. I have gone out with women with various factors of attraction and interests. Beyond that, they all have their own 'standards' of professionalism, knowledge, wisdom and eye candy. Whenever I hear a friend say crap like that, I laugh and tell him/her, "Go for what you want and not what you think society thinks you should have."

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 595 (view)

how would you react if your son /daughter told you they where gay Posted: 1/21/2009 2:28:44 PM
I would have absolutely no problems with it. Sexual preference is a personal thing and has nothing to do with other people who aren't involved. The only thing that may worry me is the surrounding society and how it will treat my child(ren). There are still a lot of homophobic people with violent tendencies and a lot of religious nuts that go out of their way to make those unlike them as uncomfortable as possible. Regardless of his/her sexual preference, I will still love them just as much, guide them just as I've always done and be there for him/her when s/he needs/wants it. Hopefully, if I do have kids in the future, they will be straightforward with me and tell me what they're thinking and feeling.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 306 (view)

Adults living at home with Mom and Dad Posted: 1/21/2009 2:22:17 PM
I just turned 30 and I live with my parents. Now the question is: "Do I leech off of my parents?" The simple answer is: yes. The detailed answer is: I give roughly 80% of my income to my parents. What I give them helps the the groceries, gas, electricity, house maintenance, yearly property tax and their medicine. I also take care of all of the holiday gift money for Chinese New Year, Christmas, cousins' birthdays, etc. So how do I leech off of my parents when it's clear that I am the one supporting them? Well, my mom acts like my mom. The problem living at home at my age is that I am often at odds with my mom in terms of needing to do my own thing on my own terms. Of course, as you all can see, this also creates problems for me in finding a suitable intimate partner for myself. Regardless whether I am living with my parents because I am leeching off of them OR I live with them but support them financially, to 95% of the women I've had a chance to talk with, they are turned off anyway. You see, this provides three major disabilities in a relationship: 1) No privacy or in my case, not enough privacy. In my own home, there is not enough space to move around with my girlfriend. However, my parents have always been quite accommodating. When I bring a girl home, we either go up to my room or we spend time in the living room in which my parents move over to the den. Alas, it's not that good. 2) A great sign I am not making enough. Heck I can be making $50k/year and that wouldn't matter if I'm living with my parents. Not making enough means I cannot easily go on lavish trips with my mate. South East Asia cruise? Sorry, can't this year. Simple trip to California? Maybe. How about a road trip? I can do that. 3) Influences from mom and dad. Most 'Chinese' boys I know are heavily influenced by their parents. Most people outside see these 'Chinese' boys as weak-minded and retarded. I fit into this group because it's easier to judge a book by the cover, rather than actually read it. "Ew, this book has a stain on it. It must be bad. Next!" ----- However, because of these three points, I DO AGREE that women SHOULD NOT choose guys like me to have relationships with unless they want a fling. It's just unrealistic. That's probably why I'm constantly hesitating to contact anyone because of my obligations. /sigh

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 119 (view)

Bf unemployed for 4.5 months... Posted: 1/21/2009 2:04:32 PM
After reading most of the comments here, I'll give you a different perspective, then you can decide what you would like to do after. One of my friends is now 39 and making close to six figures and works mainly from home. In some years, he brings in over six figures. He goes to the office occasionally but pretty much has a comfortable life. He also just bought a new $700k home in the city. He's married with one 11 year old and a baby on the way. Roughly eight years ago, his then-girlfriend (now, the wife), supported him for one year. That's 12 months. He was out of a job and went to school. They lived at a small place and his then-gf's parents often nagged her about his lack of a job and income. Anyway, to cut a long story short, he eventually finished school and got a decent job. --- Suggestions for you, aside from emotional reassurance: - tell him that you both have to look at this realistically. tell him you can't afford spending for both of you and that you need to secure your own life before you try to secure for both of you - tell him that he has to rid his pride of finding a job suitable to his degree and that he should grab any job that is available, even for a few months If he insists and avoids the topic continuously, then you can make the harder choice and break up with him. If breaking up with him yields in a favorable adjustment in the way he handles his problems, then he can prove himself further and pursue you back into his life. If not, then no matter how you feel, he is simply not a healthy man to be with. Imagine him as a father, if you so wish to have children.

ginsengsamurai

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Could you live with clone of yourself? Posted: 1/21/2009 1:51:26 PM
I wouldn't be able to live with an exact clone of myself. It would be like two chess players constantly trying to outwit the other, until tea time, where we'll sit there, have tea and talk about how to conquer the world. We can probably live in the same country on different coastlines though. As for "If you can't feel comfortable in your own company, why would you inflict it on others?" - My exact same thought. I'm not a hermit, but I do prefer more alone time than spend time with others, unless they really persist/insist.

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