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Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Guys version of games? Posted: 10/4/2009 4:19:05 PM
You are asking questions OP when you should just bottom line his actions and move on. No contact from him in a timely manner means not interested so there is no point in figuring out why on his end. Hmmmm, but wait, I got it!! It must have been that nintendo he didn't get as a kid that made him this way as to not contact you, THATS why! lol. Peoples actions don't always makes sense, especially when you don't have all the details so just in the future bottom line them and move on instead or racking your brain thinking of reasons which don't benefit you anyhow. You are looking for a keeper, he is not it, move on, next.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

breaking dates? Posted: 10/4/2009 3:25:53 PM
He's trying to jerk you around OP. Good job for not letting him. When men want you they generally want to date you and there are very few acceptable excuses for a broken date never mind 3 of them. His words say one thing, but his actions are not those of a guy interested in you, feel good you saw what he is like before getting hurt by him. Just move on and ignore him.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

I am so confused....please help!! Posted: 10/2/2009 7:12:05 AM
If the breaking up over stupid things then wanting back together over and over isn't a glaringly obvious red flag, you really have to wake up. Don't belive the misconception that "all couples have fights". Sure they do, but they talk them over rationally and calmly and settle them in a few mins, what they do not do is keep breaking up and getting back together. Apparently ur looking at the guys pretty words but is actions say he is not as into you as he says. I don't know who has done all the breakin up and causing all the fights but it doesn't matter at this point, the truth is you two are not a match. Figure out what you did wrong, wether its an issue with you or your choice in picking him and learn from it so the next relationship ur in is not like this one.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Feminism Posted: 10/1/2009 3:24:38 PM
First of all most men don't like feminism because nowadays its gone way past what its original purpose was. Back in the day it was about equal rights and such and now it about being "more equal" and women are going overboard and taking more then their fair share while completely ignoring their responsibilities. Feminists refuse to face the fact the men are men and women are women and each have their own strengths. Instead of accepting this fact they insist on being able to do everything a man can do and if that is not possible its just wrong and some man is going to pay for it. As a guy I wouldn't try to give birth to a baby, I accept it, but god forbid a feminist can't stand up and pee or some other ridiculous thing. Its never them its always someone else..coff.. a man. On another note feminism has hardly helped men, its not supposed to and most of your examples are pretty loose at best. Feminism gave women an easier time with many things socially and workplace wise but any aftermath that helped men was surely not on purpose, lol. Also most people don't buy into gender exclusion from work nowadays beside a few random men on the forums who always have to post in your thread just to tick you off. Women pretty much always have stayed in the same kinda work environments as always with or without some form of "bondage". Its a common fact most women go into social type work that deals more with people and less of them go into engineering or other math science based jobs or harder labor ones. As is, many women who do go outside the norm tend to get better treatment then most of the guys as far as promotions and such anyhow. To wrap this up quick(since I've already written a novel) when guys say they dislike feminism they dislike the new abortion that is now "modern feminism"...they dislike women blaming men for all their problems, they dislike the ridiculous bias the court system has with rewarding child custody to women instead of men, they dislike the fifty million workplace courses we have to take if god help us we slip up and say anything that could be considered sexist or inappropriate, they dislike being always a potential victimizer(rapist abuser..yada yada) and never the victim, the dislike the now all to common potrayal of all men in the media as beer guzzling fat morons who are clueless around their wives, they dislike that if they get in a argument with a g/f or spouse the "fair" Domestic Violence against Women Act(note only women can be abused according to this) says someone is going to jail and I'll place bets its not the female, even if she threw half the pointy and blunt objects in the house at him, they dislike having to answer this post that explains why we hate feminism because it shows how clueless women are about mens issues and what its like being one. Don't worry though we know ALL about your issues. Your feminist friends made sure of it. =) Have a nice day.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

How long before you know you're attracted to someone? Posted: 10/1/2009 11:13:13 AM
Physically, a couple of seconds. Personality wise, I usually have a handle on them by the end of the first or second date. Basically it does not take long. Finding out if they are worth my time or not takes much longer. Making sure they are good material: having integrity, honestly, loyalty, trust, giving, and flexibility is not a quick process. Oh and OP, normally only women will date men they are not attracted to and try to "learn to like them", many women will even marry(wrongfully) with this thought in mind. Men don't do this because we know if the attraction is not there, its not going to happen. Don't delude yourself, it never works and you can't convince yourself to be attracted to someone not matter how many time your try.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Body language Posted: 10/1/2009 10:56:11 AM
Body language is useful to know... while on a date or getting to know somebody. However, if the guy is not willing to take that risk he is gonna have issues. Unless ur a very attractive guy or just plain lucky in being around women that like you, most women will not give off all these signals right off the bat to let you know they are interested. They might be at work, they might be distracted, they might not be looking right now, or you could just suck at reading body language(it does take practice), to many things and situations to know. The best bet is just ask the girl out. If you get a few touches from her during the date, she laughs at your dumb jokes, asks you personal questions, maintains your eyes contact and smiles and doesn't turn away from that kiss you laid on her at the end of the date, obviously she is interested. Tell him to quit hiding behind "figuring her out" and just do it. Many other guys won't have that issue and could easily snatch her up from right under him.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Sex, the ever popular topic. Posted: 9/30/2009 8:09:10 PM
So basically OP you are saying you will not have sex again until ur in a relationship with a guy aka boyfriend. Thats fine and I don't see an issue with it. Your slips are what they are and if thats your choice now, so be it. However you worrying about a guy just wanting to be your boyfriend only to have sex with you does seem a bit excessive. If you are so worried about people who just want you for sex simply screen the guys ur dating better. The fact is, every guy who is interested in you will want sex, so don't try to pawn it off like its all them and you had no choice in the matter. You control if anyone gets that, so make your choices and stick with them. Yes, you have had slips in the past but if its just a few nobody will hold you against it. If you wanted to wait until marriage, like some others thought you were, I could see how that might be contradictive but just waiting for a serious relationship is not bad and I don't see what the problem is. Waiting will also weed out a good amount of guys as well which helps out your cause. However try not to make the poor guys wait to long, most guys don't like sex being hoisted above them like a reward. Best of luck OP.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Hot girls need to 'dumb down' their looks?.... Posted: 9/29/2009 3:32:39 PM
Honestly OP "dumbing down" your looks won't make much of a difference. If you are attractive, ur just plain attractive no matter how you dress and will still get the same attention. I know all the attention you get isn't always the kind you want but you can't have one without the other and seriously, why would u want to limit your options without filtering them first to make sure ur not passing on great guys. While some girls should cut down on how they look because some as some of the shots taken are not the best for them it still won't cut down on their mail. If a guy treats you a certain way wether it be good or bad, don't think ur special, as he would pretty much be doing that to any girl on a normal basis. Pretty much, its just the guy not you and its obviously not a good match. As is, the only thing you can control is yourself so just make sure you have a positive attitude and give it your best. Doing so will at least show people there is more then just looks to you as many women often complain men just want them for their looks but in reality their attitudes are so crappy if they didn't have their looks no guy would touch them. Its a vicious circle, lol. In either case you can tone down some of the pics by covering yourself up with more cloths or less makeup and such but like I said I doubt it will change much. Best of luck OP.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Time to put myself out there Posted: 9/28/2009 7:28:42 AM
Just be positive and try to relax and enjoy yourself. The positive attitude is very importent and goes extremely far in how men and women see you. Nobody likes a downer or someone who seems to think life is out to get them. Just take every experiance for what it is and learn from it. If you are not comfortable asking or answering anything don't do it, its all about your comfort level. You are the women and you control how fast or slow ur getting to know someone or how any relationship progresses. If the guy is to pushy he is not the one for you.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

When you get mixed signals, which do you believe? Posted: 9/27/2009 7:56:26 PM
Mixed signals mean he is either not interested or stable in his choices. People are consistent when they have everything together and know what they want. This guy obviously had a lil shock in him from the funeral but once its over he will either go back to his original self which keeps switching back and forth giving you mixed signals. Basically whenever a guy or girl gives you these mixed signals its best to cut your losses and leave. What you see is what you get and this guy pretty much said straight off he didn't want to be with you exclusively. Even if you have some hope his actions obviously prove otherwise so when words clash look at them. His actions are not of someone who meant what he said to you in a moment of grief so whatever hope his words have given you are lost. Best of luck to you OP.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Do you like it when the woman emails you FIRST?? Posted: 9/27/2009 2:55:36 PM
Most guys find it flattering that a women would put herself out there for them and its nice to know the women is interested. After all, if you know right away she is curious its a simple yes or no and makes it much easier for a guy. Also most men will enjoy if a women e-mails them first because most men simply don't get flooded with mail, its a nice surprise.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Are men getting ruder? Posted: 9/24/2009 6:05:35 PM
Depends on the place, totally changes depending on where you go in the US. Las Vegas for me was horrible. Austin TX was great. Most of the small southern towns are good and many of the ones in new england as well. Certain cities and areas are better then others I've noticed from all my travels. That goes with anywhere else in the world as well.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Men, what makes you decide? Posted: 9/24/2009 8:47:43 AM
Basically men just like women will know in a second if they will have sex with you. If the guy is not interested in dating you that doesn't mean he will not sleep with you. This most people know. What decides if the guy sticks around or not is usually the girl herself. By the way OP, most of the time this is determined BEFORE sex, not after, unless you are a horrible lay which does account for a few cases. Typically guys will notice these things and decide from it. Some of which are as follows: Does she have a good attitude or did she spend our entire evening complaining about everyone but herself? Because, after all, half the proble is her.(drama) Does she have her crap together?(men don't expect as much as women here but we usually don't want baggage,ie kids, financial, emotional(clingy, bi-polar),family) Am I attracted enough to her and can I bring her around friends/family? Is she fun to be around(sense of humor, easily amused)? Obviously every guy is different but we each have our own personal checklist we look over when dating. Most guy do have something similar to this list just like women do(shocker!). Other things that effect it are also the guys personality, for example, the serial daters who never want to settle down... basically different agendas on the guys part come into play as well. Even if you know what the guy is looking for there is no guarentee he will stick around if he is one of the aforementioned. Even if he does stick around it could be the sex was just great. Basically it up to you to screen the guys properly just like the guy screened you for whatever his purpose was. P.S Oh, to clear up one other misconception.. Most guys are not looking for a fling. It just becomes one only after he decides he is not into you as much as you are into him.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Heels or no heels, that is the question. Posted: 9/23/2009 11:46:58 AM
Guys like heels on women wether you are tall or not, period. Also, as a case in point, you mention all the guys approaching you are short but honestly when you are 6'3 in heels you are taller then over half the men out there easily. I'm sorry you get some unwanted attention but as an attractive female you have to accept the good with the bad as you cannot pick and choose who you want to swoon over you. Accept that your beauty gives you more options and focus less on the unwanted attention, as some people would kill just to have any, lol. Now, while your heels might increase this attention somewhat I seriously doubt you don't get just as much attention without them, it just so happens you like to wear them in the areas where most guys would want to approach you anyhow so it prolly seems more like a factor then it really is. Try not wearing 'em and see if there is a difference, I suspect there won't be.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

How does a man approach a new relationship? Posted: 9/23/2009 11:35:26 AM
There is no "test". You can only learn about a person's attitude and bad/good tendencies after spending alot of time with them and PAYING ATTENTION. Also men get burned quite often so lucky for women we get over it and back out there fast. If we didn't half the single male population would be not dating and celibate, lol. On another note, some people should take more time after to a breakup to see what got messed up and how they can eliminate that in the future. Moving on to early without learning is dangerous. Anyhow take your time and get to know the person and don't commit until you have a pretty good grasp of who they are.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

fear of commitment Posted: 9/23/2009 8:43:28 AM
Just take things slow. This may sound silly, but get a hobby or something. Everyone need's their "me" time so maybe finding something you really like to do in your free time will help you cope, so whenever you feel like you are gonna freak go and do your thing(Note: this does not include binge drinking/bar hopping, drugs....you get the point, lol.). Remember as a women YOU control the pace of the relationship, if things are going to fast or to slow, tell the guy and if he's a good one he will follow your lead.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Why do men turn rude if you dont reply to a message? Posted: 9/21/2009 4:12:09 PM
People get frustrated, sad but true, some poor guys can't handle it. I'll put up my numbers for arguments sake which may be similar for most guys here(although I hope better for others)... Letters sent: 72 Replies: 6 Dates resulting from it: 3 Sooo roughly thats 12 letters per response, for the people lacking math skills and half of those I might get a date from. Do keep in mind I have never written anyone a nasty gram for their lack of response nor have I ever gotten a letter back saying "thanks but no thanks" so my karma is pretty clean. I'm not amazing looking but I have a decent personality and I'm not bad looking either, just an average guy. Basically some guys have to get a thick skin and learn this isn't quite the best way to meet women and don't rely on it as your only means. Like Invictus and the others have said, not all guys have that yet so bear with it.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

how do you choose when your a 6? Posted: 9/21/2009 2:37:23 PM
Funny thing with numbers is the are different with each person. You might be a 6 to one person and a 4 to another and a 9 to another. The deal is, its not up to you to decide, its completely and totally out of your hands so just give yourself as many chances as you can. Others can sometimes see way more in you then you'd imagine so don't count yourself out, stay positive, its good to be realistic but don't let it stop you from taking a chance on yourself.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Nothing to Work With Posted: 9/21/2009 11:13:20 AM
Well in defense of the person writing, just as often the profile of the person they are writing is so generic and plain there is not much to work with there either, lol. That being said as long as it seems like they put in some effort to write you if you are also interested ask a few questions and see where it goes. You have to do a little exploring with this online stuff before you can get a feel for a person.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

How many of your messages take the copy/paste approach? Posted: 9/21/2009 11:03:30 AM
I typically reuse the same format for most of my messages but change it around with each person to fit them and their profile so none of mine are really cut and paste. Either way I'm not always sure it matters in the end, lol. I've had responses from some of my better letters because they were different and unique ones but many of those women wrote back for only that reason and were not actually interested in me per say. So while the letter can make a difference if women or men don't like what they see and god forbid read, the letter doesn't always mean much I'm afraid. So while none of mine are cut and paste I can't blame the guys who do. It can kinda get frustrating and if it bothers you OP don't take it personally and just accept it for what it is.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Doing nice things for guys you like. Posted: 9/21/2009 7:40:12 AM
He said he is not sure he is ready to commit, thats it, end of story. Women love to complain guys give no signals but that says it all right there, never mind the rest of the huge red flags like the guy being moody and ungrateful. Sorry OP but I think you are looking at this guy purely through how you feel about him and ignoring what is right in front of you. You have done everything to hide the obvious about him, even looked at astrological signs to try to shovel off some of the responsibility and even that confirms the truth. Do yourself and favor and move on, you could be spending time with a good guy who is ready to commit to you not wasting time with him. Best of luck.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Why the head games? Posted: 9/20/2009 8:36:21 PM
Its only been a few days, he will call if he is interested. Anything over a week is just rude and/or he is not interested. Yes, he could kiss you and not be interested but thats normally not the case with most guys. If he has your number and is intersted he will call so just relax.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Waking up to a bj... yay or nay? Posted: 9/20/2009 6:13:05 AM
Very nice of you, not so nice of him. Apparently he has some kinda issues because that is not a normal reaction for an average straight dude. Your thoughts were pretty much in line with this and I agree...yeah, to each his own, don't ask us why he reacted as such, we have no idea other then saying something mean about his sexuality and at the least how whiny he is.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Sex Sex Sex Posted: 9/19/2009 4:13:01 AM
I think...wait, I know, women care more about the magical "double standard" then guys. No offense but I don't see many dudes whining about how many partners there ex had or that they are now labeled a man whore, simply because real men don't care, lol. While I know guys don't have to deal with it as often as women and get props on their"exploits" you also have to look at reality and accept some things. The simple fact of the matter is women control the supply and men have the demand so until that starts changing the final say in the yes/no department lies with the women, not the guy. Now before you complain OP, I will say while that does not take any responsibility away from the guy it also does not on the women either. Because of this its fairly insulting to hear how women were "duped" into having sex with a guy, wether coming from a male or female perspective. Not taking responsibility for your actions and claiming you were duped shows fairly weak character in either sex and I refuse to hear another post taking a "victim" mentality on that issue; so unless you were raped,(I pray that never happens to anyone) you were part of it too. I suppose women will have to accept some responsibility just like guys have to accept half the things that comes attached to their sex but typically whine less about...although I'm sure you'll still see some guys in the "ask a girl" section whine about how crappy is is to have to risk rejection and approach women all the time.(by the way, it is pretty crappy, especially when you get rejected and for the record I'd rather trade being labeled a "whore" or whatever double standard you have for that one anytime). What it boils down to is the few women who get labeled are the ones who constantly have one night stands all the time and have been with half the town, dorm, office, whatever. Otherwise its expected you have had at least a few sexual partners by the age of 25 and few men really care how many people you have been with. So unless ur one of the aforementioned, which is a small percentage anyway and who most likely spent many nights earning the label, I don't see this a valid argument that hasn't been done to death. P.S. By the way OP I'd love to know where you ever got the impression that life was supposed to be "fair". I will say it is equal in that it is just as unfair to women as men and there is your true equality.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

What do you guys prefer? Posted: 9/19/2009 3:22:39 AM
I'd rather more women just be more honest and spit it out. While I state this do know that I normally I have no trouble telling if there will be a second date or not and maybe 1/10 times I will be wrong. But on the cases I am wrong its usually from some women who are kinda sneaky and like to talk about a future date or ask what I'm doing later on in the week and poof, magically they disappear right after. Obviously actions speak louder then words so those few women were definitely not into me but I do expect a little more honesty when getting to know someone, so the verbal fake out is really kinda a low blow giving even a lil false hope like that especially when ur interested. Yes, I know some women really don't want to hurt us and be cruel but I think being honest is less so then some of the alternatives. Besides, as men we deal with rejection often so while it stings some it won't break us. As far as safety all women should know to go to a nice public place whenever you first meet. Most of that stuff if common sense and trusting your gut.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Oh God what have I done? Posted: 9/17/2009 6:29:25 PM
I would never bank on just one female. Especially one I haven't met yet! Life is all about options, the more you have the better off you are. OP you are thinking to far ahead into the future saying.."what if?" and are not looking at the present which shows you have some promising leads, but nothing solid atm. No matter how good things are online or how long you chat on the phone, it all goes out the window the second you meet and things start again from scratch. In a few seconds you can go from her being totally into you to her looking for the nearest exit. Its perfectly fine if you don't want to date more then one women at once but at least get to the date part bud! You are just talking at the moment and you should at least meet your potential partners first without alienating the other half who you haven't met either. Best of luck.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

What does a guy mean by low maintenance? Posted: 9/14/2009 12:35:08 PM
Yeah I agree with Chris, that link is more or less pretty much it. Basically there isn't really a guy alive who goes: "Oh wow! I gotta meet this girl because she is high maintenance!" Its not a positive thing to 99% of guys. Anyone who is that needy, insecure or labor intensive is not usually someone we want to hang around. Wether you pay for it yourself or whatever, its just not a hassle we want. Yes, we care about your looks and such and you should too but there are limits to everything and the less we have to support you emotionally, $$ and otherwise the easier things are for a relationship . Basically read the link and if you fit into more then one of those definitions ur "high maintenance".

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

high school friend Posted: 9/13/2009 6:50:08 PM
Cut your losses bud. No offense but she doesn't quite sound like a winner given the people she has dated and her other choices. If she wanted something with you it would have happened way before now, don't stick around to be used by her. Go and find someone who actually wants you and appreciates your friendship.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

why would a guy call me every night for 2 weeks then stop talking to me and start ignoring me? Posted: 9/12/2009 7:35:16 PM
1. He either is busy(his life does not revolve around you) 2. He has no more interest in you because ur not what he wants, or ur not showing enough interest back for you to be a solid investment. 3. ....Or he found someone else. Take your pick.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

is 80% the accurate percentage ... Posted: 9/10/2009 10:35:26 AM
Nobody can help it if you end up going after the ?% of guys that are looking for that, so screen 'em better, lol. Most guys would like a solid relationship its just we do have our urges too so make sure the guys are serious and on the same page as you.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

what would make a guy ruin a good relationship? Posted: 9/8/2009 10:26:08 AM
Why does someone think eating 15 hotdogs in a min is an achomplishment worthy of praise and sponsers? Who knows. Either way, be careful when you ask "WHY?" OP. The answers you get are not always what you want and you will just keep getting them because human minds are clever like that, "oh I know! It must have been the action figure he didn't get as a kid". Far better to accept that things turned out as they did, learn from it and move on. "Why" can be very attractive for people who like to know everything but does not detract from the end result so best to ignore that line of questioning and focus on things you can fix or control, aka you.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT ???? Posted: 9/7/2009 5:42:41 PM
That answer will be different for every single guy on here. All of us were brought up differently and have our own preferences and ways of doing things. You seem quick to ask all of us what we want but you should really be asking your current partner/date, if you have one, to see if you are compatible. That is of course assuming you have done the same soul searching and know yourself well enough to see what you need in a mate. Otherwise I see no point in querying the handfull of guys on here who decide to answer this post. In either case, matches on paper are hardly a recipe for marriage/commitment success.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

How soon do you kiss? Posted: 9/6/2009 9:12:31 PM
For me usually the second, maybe the third if I feel comfortable she likes me(the anticipation makes it way better). I have kissed on the first and will definitely try if I'm still not sure if the girl likes me. Let me explain, basically If I'm not sure a particular girl likes me, a kiss at the end of the first will confirm it either way, if I get cheek or flat out rejected she is not interested, if I get a good one I underestimated her interest. In that case the kiss is to confirm she is really interested and not to waste my time but many guys including myself have zero problems kissing on the first date either way if the chemistry is there. I have yet to meet a girl who will not kiss on the first date if she is truly interested and any women who say otherwise have broken that rule before.. when they are really interested, hence my lil test. Personally I would not wait past the third date as by that time both parties are obviously interested.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

BOO WHOO! Posted: 9/5/2009 2:10:51 PM
While I don't think its right for men to retaliate with with a nasty letter OP, if you can't understand why a guy would feel angry and hurt by this ur fairly delusional and have little empathy at best. As others have stated here, as a women you won't receive even a quarter of the rejection the average guy gets and its fairly rough even for the balanced guy. Also I highly doubt all the women he wrote were amazing models or 10-'s in every category, so to speak. I've done some experimenting myself and even average looking women on here seem to expect a lot more then from a guy that approached them on the street. So next time you read a post by a guy who is slightly upset, wether its his fault or not try and show a little empathy instead of doing the same thing and complaining about it.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

What are your thoughts about a woman who has been twice divorced? Posted: 9/4/2009 5:59:09 PM
I hear, "poor choices" but I don't hear anything about learning from them. After a problem or set back occurs, most people sit down for a while and mull over their options and what went wrong so it does not happen again in the future. Others learn nothing and continue to make the same mistakes. It only takes one bad attitude to make a divorce, but if your mates are properly screened it should not be an issue of concern. As far as your circumstances go... for some men this will be a huge red flag and at the least make them look at you much harder before even considering you; for others, it may not bother them at all. Depends on the guy. Either way if ur fortunate enough to hook a third you better choose well because I don't see many men lining up for 3x divorced women.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

is this leading the guy on? Posted: 8/31/2009 3:46:11 PM
Hmm am I confused or are you actually asking if you are leading a guy on after seeing him for ove a month and just now telling him ur not interested? Does anyone else not see this or did I miss something? Normally after 1-2 dates you know if you are interested in someone, but a whole freakin' month? Um, yes, I do belive you are leading him on by even playing nice to him and trying to be friends. Women are really slow learners I'm sorry to say. Women know what kinda guy they are getting including his faults and after a few dates, or hell, even marriage, you dump them for the same faults you knew that had before. You can't "make" sexual attraction or change a guy short of minor genetic modification! With a guy "what you see is what you get". Do you both a favor and lose him.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

How young of a girl would you date? Posted: 8/31/2009 10:09:51 AM
Its different for each guy. At 26 my current cut off is 21 but I'm still kinda wary to date a girl that age. Where you are in life and what you have in common is pretty varied between 20-30. Still being in college or being out on your own or what phase ur at in your career changes the whole relationship. While I judge this on a case by case level I'm sure you can understand why, for example, some men would prefer not to date "college party girl" when they are all settled. While you may be more mature for your age (ALL women say that, lol) the difference in just life experiences can make your perspective totally different then someone older or vise versa. Through experience and knowledge many older guys are hell bent on not being the "starter boyfriend/husband" to a younger female who has no clue yet and the 18-22 age range is notorious for it. As far as how men decide, once again it is a personal preference but I will say this.... generally once you hit around mid to late 20's you are pretty much free game for most men for the previous reasons mentioned because ur generally at a good point in life experience and being settled down.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

What turns you on the most? Posted: 8/30/2009 7:44:27 PM
Guys like variety so option number 3, "Both" is the answer.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Will he be back? Posted: 8/30/2009 6:29:37 PM
When the ex is still in the picture is still not happening no matter how much you want it. Also anyone who wanted to spend almost 5 days a week with me right off the bat I'd run from. What happened to personal space and the fun of getting to know each other? Some couples date for years and don't spend that many days in a row together. Either way he won't be back so take it for what it is and move on.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Do all men do this? Posted: 8/29/2009 2:00:06 PM
If they think ur dumb enough to eat it up, many guys will say that. Talk is cheap, pay attention to peoples actions to determine their intent. Oh, some guys will say it because they mean it but they also have no self control which isn't that great either.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Why do guys comment on other womens attractiveness around women? Posted: 8/29/2009 1:23:37 PM
Could be any of those but I wouldn't read to much into it. Try asking that particular guy next time. If he is dating you and saying this he prolly should be keeping his mouth shut though.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Question on dating, how to let someone go, gently??? Posted: 8/28/2009 1:29:32 PM
Most women don't, they just simply do not call back and hope the guy gets the message. I assume the guy in question must have been a nice one for you to care so much as the let him down gently. As is there is no gentle way to do it, no matter how you do it stings, basically you can call him or vise versa and just let him know you two are not a match. Don't comfort him or argue with him(both do not help), just be polite, let him know and end it. Thats it.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

When you send an email to someone that you like why don't they reply Posted: 8/26/2009 7:30:35 PM
All I can say is e-mail a few time, get an aim or a phone number asap to move things along then if they are interested you'll be meeting up soon. If not you'll lose contact due to dis-intrest which happens alot either way. Most guys will lose interest after a few e-mails as its rough coming up with new questions, the pace is slow and communication is kinda shaky. Basically try to move tings forward and if it doesn't work they simply are not interested.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Please, help the guys out. Posted: 8/26/2009 6:12:57 PM
I've been on here for a while on and off and have noticed several times a trend with my messages. Basically my responses have come more often then not from women who included a good amount of information in their profiles. Now while this does not take a rocket scientist to reason why as they obviously put more time and effort into it I can't help but wonder what some other women are thinking. I don't know about all men but as for myself I try hard to write a nice letter(that way at least I know its just my looks or some other abstract that are lacking and not personality). I try to mention something in their profile stay positive and ask a few questions. After doing this so many times motivation is rough and I can understand why many guys would cut and paste all day. Anyhow, my question is why some women write so little on their profile to showcase themselves then get upset when they get just an "okay" letter from a guy. I don't have to say how much easier it is for me to write a letter when the material is good as opposed to trying to find something to talk about when the profile is skinnier then kate moss, even if they do seem like someone worthwhile. Basically I know some of those women seriously want to find someone so what I am asking is to please make it easier for us guys. =) TY.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Meeting guys in person Posted: 8/22/2009 10:16:59 PM
A smile is great, but usually not enough. Most people will smile back and say hi if you go out of the way to do so yourself and think nothing of it. A smile is hardly a show of interest when much of the time, especially in a work environment, most people are supposed to be friendly(I'm pretty sure every waitress I've ever had did not have a crush on me). So with that in mind you need a lil entra effort. Basically smile say hi and try to find an excuse to have a conversation, the guy should take the hint and move it along from there if he is interested. Guys are dying for women to help them out and let them know they are interested. It doesn't happen often and guy feel like they win the lotto when it does.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Guys 25ish and below, what do you prefer in breasts? Posted: 8/18/2009 5:34:00 PM
Guys will always look at girls with bigger breasts but its hardly a must. Most guy will end up with a girl who has many good features as opposed to just a large rack. Honestly big breasts are overestimated in value to attracting men. Oh, personally I prefer smaller ones myself OP and you are quite attractive so if ur the one in question I wouldn't worry about it.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Are preferences dealbreakers? Posted: 8/17/2009 6:21:00 AM
Most of them are deal breakers for me. I mean really, some of them are very basic simple things you want. If you don't want a smoker or someone with kids I kinda tend to thinks thats a big deal which disqualifies others just as much as lets say, looks. Many people are willing to compromise on some that are less important and personality does help but really you have to get past a few basic preferences to make it there. Everyone should be filtering who they date anyhow to not waste their or the others persons time and find someone they are really compatible with. Are some peoples lists ridiculous and prevent them from meeting many good people? More then likely. But, a deal breaker is just that and not everyone has such high demands. How would you feel if the person you dated just thought you were "ok" because they settled? Yeah, not so cool. So with that in mind you just have to suck the preferences thing up.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

who is the right one for me? Posted: 8/16/2009 9:05:00 PM
Well gee if ur not sure which of these men are right for you most people on here will wonder if either of them are with your questionable decision making ability. Being arrogant is not much of a turn on and still being hung up on an ex can disqualify you as well. What you need to look for is the best overall package with flaw you can deal with and still allows him to be relationship material.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Is he trying to act cool or just not interested? Posted: 8/10/2009 6:01:14 PM
Oldskool67 is on the money here. Nothing more to add then agreeing with his observations, haha, thats a first.

Shadow67733

Joined: 8/17/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Advice from a Married Woman Posted: 8/10/2009 3:56:01 PM
I think the wife was going for the notion that any women who mentions friends in a sentence with a guy means the guy has no chance and he's better off walking away. I'm not surprised to see alot of women upset about what she said to do, but then again if many of those women said it I can see alot of guys doing the same thing or at least thinking it. Its hard enough trying to date without worrying about trying to work a friendship angle in there too and the word "friend" when it comes to women is not pleasant for most guys to hear. It either sounds like a nice rejection or being tossed into the friends zone which is even worse when ur attracted to someone. The word "friend" means many thing to many people so women should be careful to explain the meaning when using it around potential mates.

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