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 Author Thread: Bad First Date, Apology After?
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Bad First Date, Apology After?
Posted: 4/21/2013 7:24:33 PM
I got dinged by talking too much myself when I had a phone date with a friend of a friend. It all came back to me via my stupid boss. Anyway, it was more a case of her not saying much of anything. Like dead airtime on the radio, you want to fill it.

But we are friends now.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Dating someone who is Codependent
Posted: 12/6/2012 6:23:57 AM
Co-dependence is a psychological term describing an unhealthy relationship where neither individual can stand on their own. It has nothing to do with feminism.

From Wiki: "avigation, search

Codependency (or codependence, interdependency ) is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (as in an addiction to alcohol or heroin); and in broader terms, it refers to the dependence on the needs of or control of another."

Having had a relationship with someone that, I would avoid it like the plague now. The girl had so many co-dependent ties with her ex that they still got rip roaring drunk together while he still pleaded for her to take him back. Also, she did all of the financials for his business, paid him out of his corporate account, did his taxes, and spent significant time with him and his son. On the other hand, he thought it was funny to deface little cards I would leave for her and in general be a pest towards me. Such bliss, I tell ya!

I have nothing but respect for my exes and would never screw up or complicate their lives with my bullshit or sabotage their new relationships. Anyone that tolerates that behavior in an ex is clearly co-dependent.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Hitting on another person’s date.
Posted: 12/6/2012 6:18:14 AM

I was actually thinking about this the other day.
There are just some couples that give off the vibe "We're together and happy!"


Yeah, I like that. When I'm with someone I'm really close to we give off that vibe and it's nice. I even have a good female friend that I used to do a lot of stuff with but never went out with. We would run into people all of the time that assumed we were dating, so that presented a problem for my friend as she was very single at the time. I would actually tell guys up front she wasn't with me and to, hey, go introduce yourself. :-)
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 79 (view)
 
Ended out of the blue
Posted: 12/6/2012 6:09:29 AM
One thing I have noticed about the behavior of people that use dating sites is that they really think nothing about cutting off contact without any explanation whatsoever.

I had a similar experience last week. I met a girl for drinks, had great conversation and talked about doing all sorts of things. I didn't really expect it, but we exchanged phone numbers and I said as I paid the check that I would call her the next day. I did, and she was out Christmas shopping with her mother and didn't pick up, but said to call on Sunday. Again, I call and no reply, but I didn't leave a message. A few days later I figured it out and simply said it appeared that was all there was and "no worries."

People just think we are all disposable here online.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 50 (view)
 
bf wont give me any space
Posted: 11/28/2012 5:29:02 AM
If you don't love him by now, you never will. Time to break up, move out on your own with female roommates possibly, and stop using this guy as a rent check.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 35 (view)
 
No Romance/Sex in relationship for almost a year
Posted: 6/28/2012 6:35:15 PM
People who take care of their own problems don't lose their living arrangements. They lose their jobs maybe, but losing an arrangement implies that they were freeloading or living with a lover. She sounds unemployed to boot, which is a no go in my opinion. You have a leech living with you it sounds like.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Nude beaches- thoughts and experiences
Posted: 5/13/2012 8:32:18 AM
Nude beaches in Europe are OK since nudity is no big deal to most people. But here in the U.S. I find them overrun with swinger types. My wife and I once had this mustache wearing, tanned creep come talk to us for what seemed like an eternity about the book my wife was reading. He then invited us both to hang out with him and his friends in this sickeningly soft voice that was almost a whisper. Gah. I didn't know whether to vomit or throw rocks at him. We never went back after that.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 71 (view)
 
gf broke up with me, still wants to have sex
Posted: 5/13/2012 8:23:25 AM
Having gone through this very thing, take the advice to call it quits completely. This will force you to stop thinking about this girl, which is your first bit of work you need to do to detach from her emotionally. Then you need to get out there and meet someone else. Not having her around in the wings will allow that to happen without complications. You don't need her lurking around causing you to want to go back. Once you meet someone who is not half in half out, you'll forget all about that past relationship.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 73 (view)
 
I hope all men don't believe this!
Posted: 5/13/2012 8:16:34 AM
Neither men nor women should make remarks to each other in a relationship about who else they feel is attractive. It's just dull conversation at best and potentially irritating on average. Everyone, just STFU about it. You can enjoy your little crushes in silence.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 69 (view)
 
girl returns to guy that beat her and chopped her hair WTF
Posted: 4/17/2012 7:38:49 AM
I watched a friend go through this sort of thing for about six months I suppose. The guy kept physically attacking her when he would get drunk/angry and finally she ended up in the ER with a black eye and scratches. She filed charges on him and that took a while to play out. Fun times.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 245 (view)
 
Do you hesitate to contact someone with zero roses left?
Posted: 4/17/2012 7:36:16 AM
This whole thread is a good example of why I don't actually use this site to meet women to date.


Electronic roses?


HUH?

I have seen them, but I didn't even know what they were for. I assumed they were some stupid thing like winking or what have you.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Materialistic People
Posted: 4/12/2012 6:35:28 PM
No, I wouldn't rent a car. Just be up front about your situation. That will weed out anyone shallow as it is. But if you own a nice car, drive that to your first meeting. I mean, that thing has AC, amirite?
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Materialistic People
Posted: 4/12/2012 6:17:13 PM
So anyone seeing THAT older driver emerge from his old VW was way off thinking he was broke. He came from a family known for its frugality.


I knew a guy once that was a self-made millionaire. He was also very, very frugal. No, he was actually a cheapskate. One time he came to my apartment and once I let him in the door he flopped onto the carpet with much fanfare and breathed heavily, as he had been driving around sweating in his un-airconditioned beater Toyota. Now I was driving an older Mustang, but bet your a$$ it had working AC in Texas. Why someone who was worth at least a million did that to himself I will never understand. Perhaps he enjoyed the drama? Anyway, he was also a self-centered, egotistical jerk to boot.

But definitely hold off on the judgement about the car. Of course, if you have a nice one consider driving that to your first dates. DUH. You can drive the beater on your commute.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 3/9/2012 7:40:51 PM
I've always found both men and women who feel the need to incessantly flirt while in relationships were at the minimum annoying and at other end obviously lining up ****s on the side. One should be able to enjoy the company and conversation of the opposite sex without the corny flirting once in a relationship.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
What is your naturally reaction when...
Posted: 3/9/2012 7:31:16 PM
Some people are obsessive manipulators, so they become stalkers. You never really know who has that capacity. A guy I know did that with a female friend once, out of the blue.

I had forgotten that someone blocked me here, but they did it after a few messages back and forth for no real reason. I think she was having a bad day and misread something I wrote. I don't know.

Since everything about this place is impersonal, I don't worry about being blocked. I'm willing to bet most people are similarly nonchalant. Block at will.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
How Many Pictures?
Posted: 3/9/2012 7:24:04 PM
If one of the pictures is clear with good lighting and full body in clothing that doesn't hide anything and one other is a close up on your face, then that suffices. The problem is people often have six cell phone in the mirror shots and if they are full figure pictures, they are wearing a winter coat.

See, ChillinChill has only three, but they do the job.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
The Nude Pic Issue
Posted: 3/9/2012 7:21:29 PM
Ugh. Low class. Totally agree with the others on this one.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Is it ok to ask a guy out in a note?
Posted: 3/9/2012 7:19:57 PM
I'm glad you asked that question, because I was thinking of asking someone out with a note as well. Ha ha ha. Anyway, my take on it is write it with a nice, flourishy style and keep it short and to the point. "How about dinner with me?" Something like that. Add your phone number of course or find out right then and there if they say yes. Remember, if they say no, just smile and say "That's OK!" You look like a super nice girl, so it should work.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 28 (view)
 
How successful are the guys here?
Posted: 3/9/2012 6:56:16 PM
I met one person from here after she cancelled the first meeting without notice. Second meeting went great and we laid out how friendship was always an option, so no pressure. Did the Facebook thing for a while with her and noticed pictures of a guy she constantly did things with despite this "single" status. Heh. Made a third date to go on a hike and she cancelled again without notice or explanation and then she later defriends me. I assumed from all of this that the guy in the pictures went from being a prospect to a deal and she cut ties with other prospects, ie. me. Very business like.

So from my limited experience, this place means nothing to some people on an emotional level. It is just like a grocery store.

Since then I have gone back to meeting women in person by chance and have been much more satisfied with every aspect of it. YMMV.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 158 (view)
 
He is not attractive
Posted: 3/9/2012 6:51:10 PM
Definitely stop seeing him. There is no way to force this sort of attraction, and frankly, sexual attraction is the only thing that makes all of the other bullshit in a relationship worthwhile. Save both of yourselves the trouble.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Dating flaky people
Posted: 8/14/2011 7:15:22 AM
I was approached by someone on this site and we made plans to have coffee. I got there on time and waited 30 minutes. I texted a friend and we both agreed that was long enough. The person I was waiting to see never responded to my texts or calls. The next day, she sent an e-mail saying that she had gotten a ride home with a co-worker and that they had been in an accident. The friend had been inconsolable and that somehow prevented her from getting back to me. Oooookay.

Next time we get together, we don't call it a date. It's just going to the climbing gym. This works out a lot better since I can do stuff there if she shows up or not since I know a lot of people there. She shows up, if a little late, and we have a great time. I show her some things and we have good conversation.

We become friends and do the Facebook thing. Time passes and we talk about doing a hike after work. She thinks that would be great. When the day arrives, she again no shows and will not respond to calls. Later, she unfriends me. Ha ha ha.

All I could figure out is that she had started to see someone and that this was her casual way of cutting loose the friendship. I think she was just inconsiderate. She may or may not be flaky with people she considers worthwhile. In any case, I don't miss that routine. Buh bye!
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Why do guys shy away from dancing?
Posted: 2/20/2011 7:59:31 PM
What kind of dancing is also very important in the equation. Formal dances like salsa and other Latin dances VS freeform dancing like to funk music or what you might do at a night club is big difference. I personally don't care for Latin dancing. I don't really like the music, and so it has never inspired me. I love seeing it done nicely and actually just enjoyed watching some of the times I went with various girlfriends and I took lessons. But you can't teach a pig to speak German. :-)

In any case, I love free form no rules dancing and that's all I do now. You can keep your other dances.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 118 (view)
 
Are you getting tired on Internet Dating too?
Posted: 2/20/2011 7:53:01 PM
Yep, pretty tired of it. I just visit this site every once in a while to read the forums now and sometimes see if anyone new came to town.

One girl that seemed interesting talked to me for about two messages. One wanted to meet and then didn't show up. Hardly worth putting more effort into it now.

I now prefer to meet people through groups of friends that do similar things. In fact, Facebook has been helpful in that regard identifying who is single and some of what they like. So that's nice.

Honestly, internet dating sites could all close shop tomorrow and I w0uldn't even notice.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 103 (view)
 
Things not to do on a first date
Posted: 2/20/2011 7:48:00 PM
Things not to do. Hmmm.

How about not show up and not call to say you won't be showing up. Ha ha ha.

I had someone do that to me recently for a coffee date. She was late I thought, so at 20 after I texted her asking if that was the case. At 30 minutes after and no response my female friend I was texting while waiting and I agreed I had been stood up. I went home and sent an e-mail that I had been at the coffee shop and waited and hoped she was OK.

It turned out that she had been driving home with a friend from work and they got rear ended. Her friend was in a bad way emotionally after that and required some attention. None the less, it would have been nice to get a call or text that she wouldn't make it.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Men Who Want More Than Frienddship......
Posted: 1/28/2011 7:26:24 PM
There is a very wide continuum with male/female friendships. I have quite a few female friends myself, many who I have known for over ten years or more. I am also friends with a lot of ex-girlfriends. Of these women, some have an attraction to me and I to them, but we do nothing about it. Others have no attraction to me, but I might have a slight attraction to them, but again do nothing about it. Most of the time the stumbling block for attraction to female friends lies in their personalities. I know we would be very, very bad together as a couple, so that keeps it out of the picture easily.

So once you are friends with someone, does this keep them out of the dating realm forever? Apparently not. A female friend of mine started seeing a college friend recently after more than a decade of friendship and they are happier than ever as a couple. I'm not sure who proposed it. I personally can't see ever starting anything with the majority of my female friends myself, but wouldn't automatically reject it. Let's just say it would take a lot of discussion.

Now on the other hand, I made a new female friend recently that I had at first wanted to date. We agreed to be friends and went with that. But I wasn't really that satisfied with the friendship and don't see that working out, either. It's mostly because I still regret that she declined to date. Sometimes you just can't completely turn your attraction off. I haven't cut off contact with her, but I don't make contact anymore either.

Ah, it's all very complicated, isn't it? Nothing is ever that easy when you are dealing with human beings. :-)
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Tell my friend or let sleeping dogs lie?
Posted: 9/5/2010 3:17:34 PM

I think you should write on a note, "omg! yo room8 sez he's farking you. wtf? lol!" and pass it to her doing homeroom.



Pretty much how I would feel about it.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 59 (view)
 
is it really okay for her to hang out with her ex?
Posted: 6/23/2010 6:20:31 AM
I don't know what kind of guys you are hanging out with cat*eyes, but they strike me as emotionally blunted, Bohemian types where "whatever" is the catch-all way of dealing with things. Perhaps you should try making some adult friends? Leave the rest of us guys out of your world.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 71 (view)
 
My Wife is Poly in Denial What do I do??
Posted: 6/23/2010 6:16:22 AM

I understand what you are saying but she is brining this home and having unprotected sex. She is also replacing me with short lived relationships. It drives me to rage to the point that part of me wants to kill the affair partners. I know I can't do that but the emotional turmoil is ****ed!!


You need to stick with leaving and keep working at it until you are ACTUALLY GONE from this woman. So sorry about the children. But this relationship is toxic. It's a shame you put down that female friend that might have been someone nice in your life. Do that again and get this lying sack of $hit of a wife out of your life. Settle the custody, let the disabled kid deal with it (or not) and move on with your life. You need not be sacrificing your happiness to please others or to somehow regain what you never had.

If you are thinking about killing the affair partners, it is time to go.

Period!
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 51 (view)
 
is it really okay for her to hang out with her ex?
Posted: 6/21/2010 5:05:07 AM
You know what? I know a lot of women and they seldom have their female friends over for sleepovers. It seems they have their own beds with things to do the next day that don't involve waking up somewhere else.

Ditch the stupid broad.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
A Simple Yes or No
Posted: 6/6/2010 10:29:34 PM
So Mary wants "space" and encourages you to date other women. She then gets butthurt that you are successful with that, and that you conceal how you arranged such a date, ie. using Match vs. the old friend network. Now she wants to break off your friendship.

I wouldn't worry about it. She still wants to control you through guilt trips it appears. Hardly friendly. Maybe it is you that needs "space" from her now.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Great first date, suggested second, but it never happened,still continues to contact?
Posted: 5/29/2010 6:10:01 AM
Yep. The asking if he is free part will confirm if he is interested or not and in what he is interested. I had the same thing going on recently. I would ask if this girl was available, suggest things, and would get no response. Then I would get invites to certain friend-type things and we continued to have conversations. It became obvious enough to me there was no potential there for dating, so I am now just friends with her. And that's fine.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 123 (view)
 
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 5/29/2010 6:04:45 AM
One very cool thing I have discovered about POF is that you can constantly rewrite your profile, thus making it a sort of status update if you will. You can add something about a holiday weekend, mention what you have been up to lately, etc. Very cool! It makes your profile less static. This is impossible on Match, as your profile needs to be approved. Meh.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Relationship & casual sex
Posted: 5/29/2010 6:01:35 AM
I'm of the mind that this whole casual sex thing needs to be laid out before anything gets going. This does not in any way ensure feelings will not get hurt, so I now avoid these sorts of arrangements altogether. If someone wants this sort of thing, I politely decline or talk them out of it. I don't need to waste anymore time with this sort of crap and it is a huge waste of time for both people I have now come to believe. Being alone is fine.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
I dont want to loose my best friend
Posted: 5/28/2010 6:04:15 AM
Just because the OP is 18 does not mean that he should just dismiss these issues and chalk it up to youth or whatever other rationale the elders want to write it off on. Good for you to actually care about your friend's feelings.

Have a talk with her and get to the subject of why the two of you have not dated before. You obviously have some reasons. I have had this talk with female friends and it's good to get it out in the open. Don't discount the value of friendships.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
I didn't think guys were naturally magnominous (sp?)
Posted: 5/19/2010 5:56:24 PM

I am seeking quality men, and I am finding them.

To the OP: I find your last descriptive of men objectionable, and quite sad really.



As an official representative of All Men, I humbly submit artist_48 as our new public relations representative. Her eloquence and thoroughness of response in answer to attacks on all Mandom and things Manly should speak for itself. I further suggest we immediately give her a pay grade of 46 and the keys to the Bentley. Her expense account is already active.

So written this day May 19, 2010. Huzzah.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Moving in with girlfriend?....a different twist
Posted: 5/19/2010 4:58:38 PM
No, he is using the anticipated four hour distance as the reason to move in together. What better reasons are there really? I like you so much I can't stand the idea of being so far away is a nice one.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
I FEEL SO ALIVE
Posted: 5/19/2010 4:55:50 PM
It's possible that Goth guys instead say, "I feel the cold grip of an early grave with you!" but I wouldn't know.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 280 (view)
 
Why do some ladies think there better when they don't have a pot to piss in themselves?
Posted: 5/19/2010 4:52:11 PM
Well, excellent. I had no idea the sex ratio was so close to 1:1. On the other hand, it is definitely true that women get literally hundreds of messages to men's half-dozen, but that's the nature of who does the messaging. I talked briefly to one girl here that systematically deletes all of her messages and then of course whoever continues to try and contact her might get through with a second or third message. This makes holding a conversation through e-mail rather difficult. Ha. I've decided to cut my losses with that situation. It's like throwing frozen chickens over a wall. Sooner or later you get tired or run out of chickens.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 96 (view)
 
MATCH.com V p.o.f
Posted: 5/19/2010 4:44:26 PM
Sadly, Match was better in my opinion as well. Here I get only a few messages with one or two sentence responses, usually just to say hello. Not much else. On Match I was easily able to set up a date a week, which eventually was all I could deal with. Some, um, interesting things came about from Match as well. Ha ha ha.

Anyway, I do like the forums here and don't really mind if I never get a date out of POF. I have good luck In Real Life so far.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 31 (view)
 
EX boyfriend issue
Posted: 5/19/2010 5:10:55 AM
Sometimes this leading on can serve as a crutch for both parties when they are out trying to date someone else, so I don't look at it so much as a one-sided thing. But often one former lover will delve too deeply into the flirting and it all goes downhill into getting back together and subsequent break-ups for the same reasons the original one happened or worse.

It sounds like the OP needs a very long break from contact from her ex.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 208 (view)
 
When a woman punches walls...
Posted: 5/19/2010 5:06:58 AM
This sort of acting out of rage is all learned behavior. As the OP has discovered, one can find themselves learning all sorts of bad things from people they start dating, including screaming during arguments, punching walls, etc. It's pretty horrible what two people can create sometimes. I've seen what both my parents did in their marriage and spend a lot of time trying to unlearn it.

In any case, I'm glad the OP was only exposed to this for a short time and seems to have unlearned it now. Just always try to be conscious of what you are thinking and doing and you stand a chance to catch yourself from slipping back into both new and old bad habits of behavior.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 42 (view)
 
How to love selflessly...?
Posted: 5/19/2010 5:02:14 AM
I have always detested the absolute idea of unconditional love, for it essentially gives you a blank check to offer nothing in return. In practice, all love is going to have some conditions. A mother loves her child on the condition he does not at some point in the future try to kill her for money to buy drugs for instance. The idea is that if you truly love someone, you have A LOT FEWER conditions on the offering up of that love than you would for anyone else. It is also more resilient and can withstand certain insults.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 200 (view)
 
How can you be sure hes not using you for sex
Posted: 5/18/2010 6:22:35 AM
You can form an attachment to someone whether or not you put the sex off until later. I've never found that waiting affected the outcome, but of course there is no way to know for sure. In the case with this guy, you are right that he doesn't seem interested in anything other than the sex, and that's a drag. I've been in those sorts of relationships and it's difficult to get the other person to do normal things like go to dinner or spend a weekend day together. Who needs it?

Better luck next time.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 510 (view)
 
do you look like your pictures?
Posted: 5/14/2010 5:36:20 AM
Yes, I look like my pictures I think. But since they are static images and I am not, your perception of what I look like will differ.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Few weeks into dating and cancer diagnosis
Posted: 5/14/2010 5:34:20 AM
Reading your story made me very sad, OP. I think he disappeared because of the reasons someone mentioned before that people with a cancer diagnosis can often withdraw from relationships. Often times I think it's from the fear that they will be abandoned, making their grief even worse. But I doubt it's rational. Keep in touch with him and he will hopefully reach out again when he sees you will be around. I'll be thinking about both of you today.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 124 (view)
 
Anybody had any success with Craig's List?
Posted: 5/14/2010 5:25:07 AM
Craig's List is the absolute dregs of online dating to me. I have never, not one time, gotten even a simple response from someone there. I think it takes even less effort to post a message there than here. I also do think that pay sites work better because it is too costly to just have a profile and sit on it, hence those on the pay sites are more apt to actually go out on dates and put some effort into it. It all trickles downhill.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 71 (view)
 
Enema sales
Posted: 5/14/2010 5:21:47 AM
What with all of this negative image of enemas, I think we are being unnecessarily hard on the lowly enema salesman. What of the factory workers that make the enemas? What of their families, many of whom might even have small, constipated children whose lives are made better by these fine, sterile, bowel-evacuating aids?
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 74 (view)
 
How to courteously tell someone you're not interested...?
Posted: 5/13/2010 5:06:20 PM
It's very easy to tell someone you are not interested.

1. Read the introduction message they send you.
2. Delete it without responding
3. Block them

I know the blocking seems mean, but it actually serves a useful function. If they ever forget you were not interested it prevents them from contacting you again years later. Ha ha ha!

Seriously, I use favorites to keep track of profiles I might want to message at some point. I wish I could exclude profiles without the stigma of blocking, but I don't see any way to do that. So I plan to just block profiles from women who read/delete without replying. It's not a big deal.

Now of course being a man I am the one sending out introduction messages. Feel free to read/delete. But if you leave the message unread, I have no idea what happened or did not. I leave that open. Kind of messy record keeping.

Etiquette is great and all, but I need not know your reasons for lack of interest. So explanations serve no purpose in my view. Just block me, man. Block away! :-)
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 245 (view)
 
Can you party hard like a 20yr old when you are over 30?
Posted: 5/11/2010 6:21:03 AM
Not so much a youth stamina thing as motivation. I'm in better shape at 44 than I was at 20.

The problem I usually have with staying up late "partying" is that I am rarely around the type of people I would want to do that with. But get a good house party with the right folks and I can stay up until dawn. I think that's the key. I would stay up all night when I was younger because I had literally nothing better to do. But now I have all sorts of things planned usually the next day, so being dead dog tired for no good reason isn't worth it.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 71 (view)
 
How many of you guys actually find dates off POF?
Posted: 5/9/2010 9:34:16 AM
I met a very nice girl through an outing with a female friend and word got around that both of us were interested in each other. Unfortunately, she is currently in a phase where she essentially just sleeps with someone and then discards them. So not a fun thing to get involved in unless you missed that phase in the college dorm years or something. Both venues can bring opportunities and both have the same pitfalls, red herrings, and B.S.

So fret not!
 
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