How open-minded are you? chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: How open-minded are you?

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 58 (view)

How open-minded are you? Posted: 5/23/2009 8:57:54 AM
88% / no big surprise.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 236 (view)

Getting even or holding a grudge... which would you do? Posted: 2/24/2009 4:57:37 PM
I would not consider doing either. Getting even is sure to backfire and make you look very bad. Holding a grudge is childish and allows them a power (real or imagined) over you. Whereas, just moving on and living you life well and disregarding them completely has the effect of making their life bad (you have disregarded and forgotten them taking away their advantage completely ... they do notice ... I guarantee it) and making your life great.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 186 (view)

Is divorce like mourning a death? Posted: 2/24/2009 4:45:46 PM
I am glad you found it refreshing. I have been through it twice. My life and work involve a lot of travel. It happened. I have never held my previous relationship problems and woes as a guide to my future. I do not forget, but I never use it as a guide. Everyone is different. Just meeting new people and living life to the fullest is an opportunity in itself. Something to savour and enjoy. No-one deserves to be judged by what happened in my past. Least of all, me. Just tuck it away behind you and move ahead with the new and wonderful. That is what life is supposed to be. That is what you deserve and desire. So leave yourself open for the experience. You may have some ups and downs and even some flat dates (we all have that - you can shake your head and laugh later), but you will not regret opening yourself to the experience. I guarantee that.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 301 (view)

What is wrong with men? Posted: 2/24/2009 3:50:49 PM
Maybe I will be considered Bitter, jaded, old, ugly and special too. Something to talk about on my next outing with someone wonderful who is 15 years younger and interesting, who has asked me out. It would make for good conversation.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 1321 (view)

Cheating- can you forgive? Posted: 2/24/2009 3:39:26 PM
As much as no one likes to hear it, cheating, or infidelity as it is really called, is a sign of a problem by both partners in the relationship.It may seem like the main problem, but it is a side effect of the real problem. So to overcome the side problem both parties have to understand what went wrong and be able to completely forgive each other and move on. If you choose not to, then you should at least do some self searching as to where you went wrong, so as not to create the same problem situation again on your part. In most cases it boils down to two basic areas. Communication and changing someone to someone they are not. In both areas there are many ways for a relationship to flounder. Infidelity is not the main problem, just a side effect of it.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 182 (view)

Is divorce like mourning a death? Posted: 2/24/2009 3:29:41 PM
Divorce is a new beginning, A Chance to be open to something new and alive and wonderful. A chance to put all that was wrong behind you and move ahead with a new and wonderful life, without fear of being judged or juding someone else by something from your past. It is a world of opportunity and fun to be had. Just forget the past and move on.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 298 (view)

What is wrong with men? Posted: 2/24/2009 3:21:17 PM
Not bitter at all, but I don't mind being labeled that. I just don't care. I just think she is a little bitter and cutting off meeting some very nice and interesting people because of such a narrow view and crude attitude. (crude: meaning unrefined) Statistics prove that the best marriages have a large age difference. The difference with the nearly zero divorce rate are 15 years or more. 10 years and there is about a 2% divorce rate. Under that, it jumps to a majority rate of divorce. It is the differences that make us bond and be strong. It is the similarities that create boredom and the need to look elsewhere for satisfaction. To be guided by a theoretical number is a narrow view of the world and it's possibilities. It is cutting one's self off for no real reason. I woild never let a number disolve a chance of meeting someone new or having a chance at happiness. Looks count and Personality counts and that is human nature. There has to be both for it to work. Age is not a major factor and that is human nature too. Just facts and science. It has been studied to death and always comes out to the same conclusion. The age factor, without regard for looks or personality is truly shallow.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 68 (view)

Age difference too much? Posted: 2/24/2009 3:04:17 PM
You are basically in the same generation. Why would you worry? The longest lasting and most secure marriages are between partners with large age differences. It does not matter which partner. More specifically, if the age difference is 15 years or more, the divorce rate is basically zero. 10 years difference and it is less than 2%. The divorce rates are massive with couples close to the same age. It is not the similar qualities and likes that make anyone a strong couple, it is the differences and the blending of the two individuals that make a strong relationship. If everyone liked the same things as their partner and were the same age group things would get boring very quickly. Just look at the divorce rates and it is proved. The differences in age and interests are what make an interesting and sound relationship. This allows the building of trust and love and experiencing the other's world a new and wonderful thing. This allows compromise and agreement and communication to flourish. This creates strength and stability. Those are the qualities everyone looks for and most seem to bypass because of some theoretical number they have in their head. Overlook the number and open yourself to the actual person.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 296 (view)

What is wrong with men? Posted: 2/24/2009 2:48:01 PM
Regarding the original question ... I am thinking you are a little narrow minded.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 148 (view)

Would we have better relationships if looks REALLY didn't matter? Posted: 2/24/2009 2:39:29 PM
It is just human nature. Looks always count most at the beginning. No exceptions for either gender. They do not have to be your exact (in your mind) ideal of the perfect person (they don't realy exist and are just a guide), but they do have to be something attractive. Some like thin and tall ... some like short ... some like a weighty person. After looks, the personality comes into play. There has to be a pleasing balance there too, or even the greatest looks do not overcome the flaw (the flaw being what the individual finds acceptable or not). After time, the looks do not matter as much and the personality and traits and love become more important. The looks do always matter though. This is not to say that if someone was disfigured or scared in an accident that this would be a major factor. In this case we are given traits, by nature to overcome this. However, if someone just lets themself go, so to speak, the same traits will not kick in. It is all science and nature. It is all part of being human. It has been studied to death and proven over and over. So looks do matter at all times and you are always attracted to looks first ... what you are attracted to does depend on your upbringing and influences of your childhood. So if you are attracted to thin, you will remain that way in general. Someone a bit larger than thin will be okay too. It is not that precise a measure. Likewise if you like fat, someone with just a few extra pounds will also suffice. There are variables that are acceptable. But radical changes from the basic ideal will not be acceptable for the person. It is not shallow in any way. It is how nature made us and how we all operate.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 41 (view)

Looking back, can you pinpoint where it all went wrong? Posted: 2/24/2009 2:18:03 PM
I was away a lot with work and her boyfriend got her pregnant. That about did it for me.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 94 (view)

Do men really like 'hard to get' women? Posted: 2/24/2009 1:54:17 PM
Games are the worst part of dating anyone. Eithet you like someone or you don't. Either is fine and being up front and honest about it is the only way to go. If they play hard to get, they play alone. Most guys I know feel this way quite strongly. Life is to be enjoyed. Not played.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

Separated: Loose term or language barrier? Posted: 2/1/2008 11:10:42 PM
In legal terms, you are married till you are divorced, period. Even after the divorce, you are still married till the final decree is issued. There is no such thing as a separation in law. It is just a declaration of intent, but even if noted on paper, it is just a guide, but has no legal power or recognition. The divorce is the only out. Thats Canadian law. One can chose to use the guide as the blueprint for the actual divorce, but if the other partner does not agree, the court must disregard it. So someone who is separated is still married, no matter how you look at it. It's then up to your sixth sense to guide you as to if it is sincere or not. But writing them off may be a mistake. Life is full of chances and disappointments, but it is also full of oportunity and wonderful times too. You just have to be open to it.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

BBW.... Posted: 2/1/2008 10:51:39 PM
Its one of those rediculous tags that sites seem to throw in to make everyone feel good, but just causes more controversey than anything else. There are many people who are big, that are far from beautiful ... and there are many people who are tall and not big, and are big and not even close to tall. "Average" is not a term to use in relation to who is around you, it is a medical term refering to where a person should fit into the size category for their height and build. It has a considerable variable, but it is within a designated region for each height and build, as are the other categories. The problem happens when the BBW and Big & Tall comes in. Those are just feel good terms, not reality, whereas the others are true. Those who do not want to be in this tag, choose something else. That ticks people off, and they move on. Yet is can be difficult to be honest. No-one wants to write in obese or morbidly obese, yet those are the categories that this would cover in relation to the other tag categories. I am very tall. I have a 36 waist and a 46 chest and am over 230 lbs. I'm tall, but not big. I am heavy but I am trim. I am well within my average for my height and build. That makes me average. I imagine a lot of people fall somewhere outside the box and get put off. Voluptuous and curvy are sexual descriptions, not a size indicator. Marilyn Munroe was voluptous and curvy, but she was within her average for her size and build. It just doesn't fit in as a category. Maybe just plain old measurements should be used. That would be honest ... but would that make those entering the figures, be honest about what they write? It would be no different than it is now. There are also a lot of people out there that see something in the mirror that is totally different than anyone else sees when looking at them, but they see what they want (twilight zone syndrome). I have seen some write in average, when they are anything but that ..... in either direction.....extremely large to extremely thin, but not even close to average. People will be people. But feel good terms are not the answer.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 305 (view)

best ways to get even with your ex Posted: 10/29/2007 9:14:32 PM
There is a lot of smart people on here. Getting Even and Revenge are something that will, without fail, come back to bite you. Let it go. There is an old saying that the best revenge is living well. That is very true. I know of someone who trashed her ex's house after he was caught with another woman. A stupid thing to do. She now has a criminal record because of her stupidity and got to visit the local jail for a while too. There is no such thing as "cheating" on someone, unless you are playing a game, and if thats what your relationship is, then you don't want it. Someone may have an affair, or sex, or friendship with someone, but that is them doing that with the person. Not "TO" you. This notion of cheating is rediculous. They did something either knowingly or at a weak moment. Either way, it is symptomatic of a problem in the relationship, or just plain weakness at the time. It takes more than the one to instigate the problem. Be more aware of your relationship and work to keep it alive. Do not become complacent and just let things go. Work and play together to make it alive and exciting. Do the little things and be your best at all times. Be willing to compromise and forgive. Be there to promote and encourage. That will make a relationship work and stay alive. If you are on your own now, then live well and live for you and enjoy it. That is the best people magnet there is.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 96 (view)

When does honesty become shallowness? Posted: 9/7/2007 5:43:25 PM
An excellent thread and the OP was correct in all matters. It all boils down to what choices we are comfortable with. The first rule of attraction is, and always will be appearance. NOTHING else matters before that. After that initial attraction, the rest comes into play, but not before. That is human nature. Now before someone climbs on the band wagon and talks about appearance changing over time, or by an accident et cetera; our human nature also provides for that. Once we have gotten by that initial stage of appearance, we will find the deeper connections and if (as it surely does) changes happen, they are just taken in stride. However, if you are with your sweetheart (male or female) and they just give up in the looks department, that too can elicit an unfavourable reaction. So, as you can see, looks are ALWAYS important, but so is the commitment. Giving up in one segment (looks or others) can spell an end to all. Possesiveness is a great divider. A one sided relationship imput is a great divider. Any of a number of things, but none of them are shallow and looks do always remain a large factor. So to sum it up, appearance will always reflect on the relationship but will take a secondary and eventually less of a role as time and bonding deepens. However, personally giving up on looks at any point, can reflect badly on the relationship and can spell deeper relationship problems, thereby making the looks appear to be more of an important matter than they otherwise would have been. That applies equally to both males and females and all lifestyles. That is the non-superficial and unshallow human nature truth. Thats just how we are built.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 64 (view)

WHEN ? OR WHAT AGE SHOULD WE LET GO OF MEETING THE ONE ? Posted: 9/7/2007 5:12:54 PM
The whole thread (except for a couple of down to reality comments) is a little too sappy. There is no such thing as the one. No where is it mentioned or promised or should be expected. There are any number of people out there whom could be compatable with you. Don't settle for less than what you want, but on the same time don't expect something that is not going to come along. We all seek the best combinations of the qualities that we want, like and appreciate, and compromise regarding the balance. Compromise, or rather the willingness to do so is a very basic part of any relationship and even finding one that will become a relationship, be it as a friend or lover. Perfection, whether in a persons looks (for you), personality, or mannerisms, is a fine guide but it must be realised that it can never be attained under any circumstances. You just break it down to the musts and what you can compromise on. Think with a business head and then throw yourself out there and see what matches your business plan to a higher degree. Be friendly, open and talkative to all. Live like you have the world by the tail and enjoy yourself for just being yourself. You don't realy "need" someone. When you least expect it some (or lots) will come along. But if you are out there on the hunt and discriminating, then the possibilities will pass you by, and you will never notice them.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 59 (view)

Canadians Rank 3rd in world as being satisfied with their sex lives Posted: 8/30/2007 7:50:03 PM
WOW

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 58 (view)

Canadians Rank 3rd in world as being satisfied with their sex lives Posted: 8/30/2007 7:47:08 PM
We Canadians are a very hearty bunch and we enjoy a great sex life. The problem is that because we are so hearty we can not seem to get enough. Thus the 3rd place rating.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

Why does a friendship have to change after sex? Posted: 8/14/2007 2:24:50 PM
Friendship is just that...friendship Love is something completely different. You will love your friends, but you are not in love with them. A huge difference Sex is just sex ... nothing more, but too many people place it on a high level and equate it to love. You can have sex, and enjoy it completely without being in love with the person. You can have sex with someone you are in love with and enjoy it just as much. The problem comes when people relate the "in love" part to the sex. It is just not always there. Having sex with a friend is something that can happen and be wonderful and be just tha. It doesn't have to be a life changing or turning point. Why would it end or change a friendship? Just be honest and place it at the level it is meant to be at, and don't read more into it than it is. Love is an emotion that covers a lot. Sex is a physical act that does not have to be equated to the love experience in any way. You can have great sex with someone you have just met (although in todays world it may not be a frequent as it used to be) and enjoy it a lot, yet you may not ever see them again. One is not exclusive to the other. If it was, then the hookers would not have any business. Just do what you are comfortable with and don't expect more than what it actually is.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 37 (view)

Is weight really such a big turn-off for women? Posted: 8/13/2007 11:23:46 PM
Shallow? Not likely. Human nature. Definately. Rules of attraction are looks first then personality then everything else. You can be any size and attract someone. If they are what you like, then fine, if not, then move on. If the personality ois acceptable, you stay and find out more. If not, you move on. It is quite simple. Nothing shallow about it, and saying anything about it being shallow, is shallow. Just don't expect a supermodel look alike if you are not one yourself...but even that can be a remote possibility. Keep yourself looking the best you can be, and be confident, and don't latch onto the first thing that comes along (nothing scarier than a clingon). Live for you and bring others along. But ... if they don't like someone larger, it is nothing against you, its just their preference. You have your preferences too.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

How to compliment? Posted: 8/13/2007 10:38:04 PM
The other day I saw a lady I know...I have never dated her and just barely know/talk to her. She was wearing a red dress and shoes and looked amazing and unbelievable.... when I saw her comming toward me I just said WWWWOOOOOOOW .... YOU LOOK AMAZING! I honestly meant it. She smiled and came up to me and hugged me and gave me a kiss....and it was a KISS. She told me that I made her day. It was spontaneous...not planned. So just go with it and be honest...and ask her out.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 66 (view)

Oral sex gives you cancer of the Throat....?? Posted: 8/13/2007 10:21:13 PM
Its like they say...If its something you like or enjoy, its probably Illegal, Immoral or bad for your health. Just can't win, can we!

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 46 (view)

This new trend of people dating people so much older/younger than themselves Posted: 8/11/2007 12:01:55 AM
Its not a new trend ... for centuries it was the normal trend. The same age situation was rare. Even with ladies. The more affluent the younger the spouse. It goes back as far as ancient egypt ... probably a lot longer. It used to be that a career person would establish themselves well and then search for the right one. Yes, there were plenty of career women too. No as many as the men, but there were quite a few. The established had something to offer in a relationship.... stability and time, not just money...it was a small part of the consideration, but just being established in lifes rat race and ready to spend time with the special person and family was a just reason. Even today, the strongest marriages have an average age difference of 12 or mor years and many have an even greater age difference. Its just a number , and if the initial attraction is there and the substance keeps it, then there is nothing to be shocked about or question.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 33 (view)

Why does the ex feel she needs to screw me? Posted: 8/10/2007 11:28:07 PM
To the OP...only the lawyers will win and your ex is an idiot to go for anything but joint custody and a patient attitude toward you. The child will be the big loser otherwise and it will come back to bite her later. Just hold your head high...do not give into the rumours and inuendos and be the good person. Your child will remember that and will remember how things could have been. They are smart and their memories are long. It is tough and heartbreaking, but you will come through as the better person. Just do what you can, when you can, and fight for the child. Don't let your personal feeling towards your ex get involved and complicate things. Be completely honest with your child, and don't try to bend the truth or sugar coat it. But don't be derogatory towards her mother either, even if the truth is hard. The child will figure it all out for her self, and appreciate the honesty. I feel for you and I genuinely wish you and your daughter the very best. and to Wullis... you are the better person for what you have gone through and because of your strength of character you have come out ahead. Your child will understand that in time and will thrive because of it. Hold your head high. You are a good person and a good father.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

I don't know how to forgive someone and I think it's killing me a little bit day by day... Posted: 8/4/2007 1:11:02 AM
Your first mistake was believing that you had a one and only.... anyrelationship is plenty of work or it goes sour. Thjen you are seeking the next one. Then you explain that you have to forgive him.....forgive yourself first. It takes 2 to tango...it takes 2 to make any relationship fail. I would say that you get over what happened and feel good about yourself. You can let things hang then and move on, or you can do the correct and adult thing. You could talk to him, so he doesn't feel that he has to hide...be better ... be on the defensive .. you too. Be open and honest...don't place blame. It doesn't matter any more, but your child does. He deserves to see his parents as people who both love and care equally for him and will be there for him, no matter what. Don't worry about his new lady. If she didn't like your child, she would not have him around. Accept her as an addition, rather than a negative. She is not trying to take over, and couldn't if she wanted to. You stated that you have full legal custody.....WHY? Does the father not deserve to have equal right and access to his own son? It is a rediculous assumption to think otherwise. You should consider changing the order. It doesn't have to be done right away, just work things out...talk about the issues and convenient times and then go. It would be better for all concerned if yoiur child could see his parents working in unison and compromising when needed for his sake, and yet always there. No child or parent should ever have to be reduced to a visitation status without some pretty extreme conditions having happened. Think about it. If you want a clear conscience, this will work. Its not easy...especially after this time...but let go, and think of what is best for what you share, and that is what is important. You will feel better and sleep well and you may even like it and find someone for you. Best of luck.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Parent problems Posted: 7/16/2007 11:38:54 PM
You are certainly old enough to make your own decisions, however, do not disregard your parents advice. You have to weigh the situation on both sides. What education do you have and what opportunities for avancement do you have. It is nice that you have fallen for each other and that she has an easier time financially, but in reality that is just that...its hers. You must also consider what real contributions you can make to the relationship. Working at a record store is fine for the short term, but what chance do you have of getting the job or position you always wanted? The lady will get tired of being the main or only provider...you have to be able to make it an equal partnership on all levels. Part of that is being happy in your home, your common endeavours, and in your happiness and satisfaction with your work. It all matters and is all important. Love and respect can only carry you so far, and sexual prowness wears off after a while too.....but real substance and compromise will carry you for a lifetime.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Pursuing the Danish Dream? Posted: 7/16/2007 11:22:34 PM
I agree with most. The education is the largest part of the scenario, but the social safety net is what gives the opportunity to move ahead with more confidence. For instance, in most western nations health care is considered a right. We pay for it with taxes and we have supplemental insurance for extra coverage (like dental and semi private or private rooms in hospitals and drug coverage), but no-one is without health coverage. University in Canada is not cheap, but it is less than half, in general, the cost of similar US universities. The public education system is not at its peak, but it is results driven and will allow for the differences in peoples abilities and still assist them. I know that there are still people living on the streets in Canada, but if they are truly seeking to get out of the hole, there is a social net to get them up, should they chose to do so. Our taxes are higher, but we have so much covered by them, that it all balances out, and in the long run, the opportunities are better and much more within our reach. I have the highest respect for the United States and their way of Government. I am proud to call them our neighbours and cousins and would stand by them willingly and gladly as their ally when they needed us, but I prefer our system. Its just a matter of what is most important to the individual and the group as a whole. Neither system is bad, but it is nice to have the safety net and the security.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 261 (view)

Men on a Marriage Strike Posted: 7/16/2007 10:56:20 PM
I don't believe that there is any sort of marriage strike. However, the statistics are there for everyone to see....there is a better than 50% chance of divorce with any marriage. That speaks volumes for itself. If people stopped approaching this with such a casual and fairy book attitude, that someone will sweep me off my feet and be the "one"...the "soulmate" and, et cetera. There is no such thing as perfect in this world and especially so when it comes to human relations. We have centuries of history to show us that. There has to be a new approach to the divorce system and peoples attitudes. Someone always gets burned financially in the divorce and again, the stats prove that it is most often the man. The deadbeat dad theory is just that too. How many men are put into a position of having lost everything, and I mean everything, including contact with their kids, and when they no longer can pay are labeled deadbeat? More often that not that is the case. Sometimes there is a genuine a$$ that just doesn't care, but not as often as it is made out to be......and how many women have not been required to pay support for no particular reason when the father has custody .... thats just as deadbeat. I know of 6 different men who have joint custody of their kids with their ex wives. In all six cases the kids spend about 75% of the time with the father, yet the father still has to pay support....for what? Complaining to the court has done nothing except threats that the custody situation could change against them if they rock the boat. There is not much incentive to have a permanent relationship greater than friendship. If the ladies stood with the men and demanded the entire system be changed to an actual equal system and no parent was favoured in a particular way unless there was confirmed proof of a problem, then things might start to turn around. As things stand, I can not understand why anyone would realy want to get married without a complete legal agreement and have their assets placed into the name of a corporation that the other has no claim on. Then it would just be the children that would be fought over, and that, being the worst showtime in any court, is still the lesser of any evils. I have seen so many great people...men and women destroyed by divorce. Much of it was self inflicted and much was just vindictive and lies and pure evil on ones part to make their position look better. There is no room for that. If a break happens, it should be treated with cool heads and business like relations. But that will never happen, and there will always be busy and well heeled divorce lawyers.

Bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 210 (view)

Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen Posted: 7/16/2007 8:01:32 PM
This is getting a little off course here with reasons and excuses. The question is pretty strraight forward. So is the answer... it has noting to do with being shallow or anythinbg else. The first laws of human attraction are how does he/she look and do they appeal to me. Its that simple. If they are not attracted to you physically then its a no go. I don't care oif you are skinny / average/fat or anything else...black, white, red,yellow, or blue with polka dots....its all the same, After the initial physical attraction, then the rest comes into play. Its as simple as that. Not shallow / not prejudiced/no other excuses...so don't kid yourselves into thinking anything else, because you are deceiving yourself. Anyone can improve their chances greatly by being confident and outgoing...that will get you noticed, but it will still attract those that are attracted to your appearance with the confidence. I know huge men who will only seek thin ladies and many huge ladies that only want thin men...and there is nothing wrong with that if that is what they are genuinely attracted to. Some people want someone their own age, because thats what they are attracted to (some think there is an age formula they have to follow ... now that is rediculous), some want someone much older because thats what they are attracted to. There is no special formula and no special way to attract and never does personality get you there if the other attractions are not there. So don't be deceived. Read the hundreds of other posts and threads about the same thing and you will find the same excuses and whining and people thinking people are shallow....its just human nature....nothing else. We are attracted to what we are attracted to, and that is not shallow or unreasonable. Put your best foot forward and go out and confidently enjoy yourself. Seek people...not the "one" ... that will make things much easier and much more fun.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Saint John Posted: 7/14/2007 4:07:44 PM
It is generally about 30% cheaper in housing...the transit service is excellent...there is even a "Night Owl" bus on (I think) Friday and Saturday for those out at the bars... the Taxis are flat rate, not metered. I don't bother with the clubs, but there are quite a few good ones. It is cooler in the summer by quite a bit, but also warmer in the winter by quite a bit. If you live in the city centre or east or the west side ajacent to the bay, you are subject to quite a bit of fog, year round, but many areas hardly see it. Jobs...there is a job boom about to happen here, so things are looking good. Food et cetera is about the same as Fredericton. People are pretty great and crime isn't a major problem. We have a great police force.(but as with anywhere, there are some outstanding rule breakers). Its not a bad place to live. I am not from Saint John, but I choose to live here because of the overall good nature of the city and the lower costs. I only spend a few days a month in town, but they are good days, and its a good place to call home. It is worth consideration. Besides, if you are worried about your friends, Fredericton is only 45 minutes away.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Who would you be for a day? Alive only Posted: 7/14/2007 3:52:15 PM
The same person I am everyday .... I am quite satisfied with my life and would not wish to be anyone else.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

I fear that i'd love her less. Posted: 7/11/2007 12:57:01 AM
When you have loved a child it never goes away or diminishes.....you will have plenty of equal love for another or more. Believe me, you will see I am telling the truth. We all have the capability for acceptance of anothers child as our own, and acceptance of our own child. There is no difference. Love is love.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 58 (view)

Too strange? Wierd sexual fettish? Just not normal and gone too far! Posted: 7/11/2007 12:52:06 AM
Nothing has changed in a thousand years or more, except that it is more newsworthy or talked about more now...... previously it was kept quite .... to a degree.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

fencing the highways? Posted: 7/11/2007 12:39:23 AM
I tend to agree that the fencing is a waste of time. I have had a few near misses in the past. On the way to and from Fredericton, on the McKay highway by Rothesay, on the highway outside Monctom..... Several of the areas have the fencing and it has not made any difference. A friend in Ontario has a deer farm. They have 12 foot high fences that are angled so it would appear to be impossible to have any animal get in or out, yet they constantly have the wild deer jumping the fence to get in the compound and the Moose jump in also... and black bears get in. The fences have made no difference at all. The highway fencing has not stopped the animals from wandering onto the highway and have only managed to confuse a terrified amimal who is running from a vehicle and forces them to run back out into the traffic...... the opposite effect from the desired result. It was tried in Northern Ontario many years ago and found to be of no effect. However, control of the traffic speed and flow did make all the difference in the world.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

Judging someone by their walk Posted: 7/11/2007 12:15:22 AM
I can tell you about one, A guy I used to work with was at a sidewalk cafe having his coffee and just enjoying the great day ... feeling the sun on the face and fresh air et cetera... he was dressed well and had his sun glasses on...just sitting there. There was a lady there who was pacing in front of him while talking on her cell phone. She just kept going back and forth....he obviously noticed her ... she was hard to miss. After her call was over she asked him what he was staring at .... he asked if she was talking to him, and she said yes, you, what are you staring at////, he said "nothing at all" to which she took offence and slapped him...knocking off his sunglasses and making her realise that he was totally blind. He loved to tell this story at parties and office coffee breaks et cetera.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 67 (view)

How can a man cum more? Posted: 7/11/2007 12:00:32 AM
This is hilarious!!! Lets see... if I eat everything in the health food store ... I drink every type of juice you can think of .... masterbate ,,, then don't ... then exercise those muscles .... then eat lots of eggs and raise the old cholestoral levels .... then ?????? I think I would be too waterlogged and too fat and farting to even be interested in sex anymore. Problem solved ..... the rest period and then some viagra and off we go!

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 122 (view)

i'm addicted to...... Posted: 7/9/2007 9:22:25 PM
Coffee from a certain chain with the initials T.H. Riding....horses, not bikes Lovely ladies with long hair (just a weakness of mine that I don't try to control) Flying .... (part of my work, but I still love it, even when I'm not the pilot) Traveling ..... lots .... just love it and exploring new places. Realy great food.......I can't stand the general junk foods and fast foods, but a well prepared well rounded meal is just a wonderful thing to be savoured. People...I just love being around and interacting with people.....some more than others, but as the saying goes,,,everyone has a story!

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

How Do YOU???? Posted: 7/9/2007 9:00:55 PM
There is a lovely lady that I kept bumping into at the Irving Convenience store. It seemed every time I went there she was there too. It is close to my home and I get there a lot. I am a very friendly person by nature and I always speak to the employees and smile at the customers. The lady would smile or comment on something I said or whatever. Finally, after seeing her there for about the twentieth time ,,,, she was at the counter at the same time as me, so I just said..."we will have to stop meeting here like this, people are going to talk" she laughed and then said we should give them something to talk about ... she then planted an incredible kiss on me .... smiled and left the store, saying "see you tomorrow"..... I was surprised ... very pleasantly so .... but not dumbfounded ..... but there were plenty of dumbfounded people in the store. The girl behind the counter (a friend) said...it must be the cologne you wear or something .... everyone likes you, but not usually that much.... So, Just be yourself, and you will be pleasantly surprised at what happens. Enjoy life and be outgoing and fun.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 46 (view)

OK.....Are you a bath person or a shower person??? Posted: 7/9/2007 8:40:11 PM
A shower...definately. The only time I bath is if I have sore joints/back/et cetera, to ease it, and then I shower after. The sitting in the dirty water thing is not for me.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

Dating childless women & men..... Posted: 7/9/2007 8:30:58 PM
I know that this banter has slightly deviated from the OPs initial question, yet stayed within the boundries or the spirit of the discussion, so keeping in mind that I too was on my own with 2 children, I will attempt to present some regularly heard reasons for not dating or considering someone with children. First and foremost would be why was there a divorce and is there a joint custody arrangement....if not, why? Is there going to be extreme scrutiny by the childrens other parent regarding me? If that is not a problem, why is it not? Was there a lot of hostility in the divorce and was it actually warranted or was it spite and would this effect me. Will the children be friendly toward me and respect me as someone in their lives or would they resent me? Have the kids been poisoned in their relationship toward the non-custodial parent and why would this happen? Would they consider me a new parent...because they shouldn't and I don't want it, but I want their respect? Does the Mother even know the former parent or was it just????????? Am I going to be stuck with the kids all the time? Am I going to have to be a referee between the childrens 2 parents? Do I have to worry about whatever and if you say "no", what makes you think that? See what I mean ..... this is what goes through people's minds. I agree...a date is a date... nothing more ..... and may just be a night out and some fun..... but what if it goes on to become something .... expected or envisioned or otherwise ...... I can see why people are not willing to take that leap of faith ... especially men, when one sees how men are traditionally considered second class in the family courts when it comes to custody. They would think "what if that was me? or will a pissed off underappreciated and legally stumped father be on my back. That is why it is difficult when you have children ..... not impossible .... just difficult. You can call it paranoid if you like, but I have heard many people talk about such things when considering a certain person, and more often than not, they choose to look elsewhere rather than get involved in a possible situation they may not like. I can not blame anyone for their choices, and it is their right and for them it is a sensible choice. Someone widowed has a much better chance .... by simple fact that the controversy is negated. Blunt, but true. Its the real world and real considerations. We can all argue the choices are different in reality, but they are not, and that is why children are and will continue to be your blessing in life and your largest hindrence in dating and relationships. The perfect world where it doesn't matter is just in the artificial romance novels. As with all things away from the movies and books.....life is much different. Now...just a reminder..... I have 2, now grown, children of my own that I brought up basically on my own, so I hope anyone reading this doesn't skip over that and call me to the ground for the comments...... its just reality and I still back the OP in her choice and it is obviously best for her. Life is a lot less complicated that way.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 22 (view)

Dating childless women & men..... Posted: 7/9/2007 6:37:36 PM
I can see where someone with children have a more difficult time. I have 2, whom I basically raised myself. It is as much about attitude and enjoying life as anything else. I do believe that someone without kids has a much better chance of finding someone and being attractive to someone they would consider ... male or female .... we can face the fact that not everyone, even those who love children, want to be an instant step parent, even to the best behaved children. I have never had any problem, but I have never actually gone out of my way looking either. I have dated 2 ladies that had children. I have been asked out by many .... most (all but 2) of whom did not have children. Quite often I was asked out while my kids were with me. Since my kids are basically grown now (university) it does not come up as an issue. Several of my suitors are not much different in age than my oldest.....go figure. However, I would never judge anyone for not wanting someone who already had kids. It is a major consideration, and if one is not used to it, then it can be a major step to consider, even for a date......the what if I like her/him and the kids thing......think about it. I believe that the op has the right idea for herself and has nothing to even consider in the 2nd thoughts department.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 36 (view)

Crude language Posted: 7/9/2007 6:17:43 PM
I am not a swearing man, and I don't appreciate it around me. I put up with it, as does everyone, but I do not use it. I do not generally judge others by it either, but sometimes it just goes too far. As arule of thumb, if you wouldn't say it around your grandmother, you shouldn't use it around anyone.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

The ex-died Posted: 7/9/2007 6:11:49 PM
I can not directly relate to your situation. However, if my ex died my feelings would be more toward what a waste she had made of her opportunities and I would feel badly for that, but I would (right or wrong) have no particular feelings of deep sadness on a personal level. I would feel badly for the sake of our kids, and her family which she alienated and for their sake alone, I would show respect and go to the funeral and be there, as always for my kids.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 246 (view)

boobs Posted: 7/9/2007 4:08:45 PM
Generally speaking....size is just a personal preference thing with men,,,,, so don't worry about it ..... artificial changes are more of a turn off than an attractant. Natural is great, no matter what the size.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

Super-Pookie, killed in action Posted: 7/9/2007 3:53:32 PM
He died doing something he believed in / his work was for the greater good of mankind as a whole and he passed on in the highest and most honourable way there is. ... making life better for someone else and saving the lives of countless others ..... most of whom he would never have known. The world is a better place because of him and those like him. May God bless his family, friends, fellow members of the Canadian Forces and his loved ones. It is a very sad yet proud moment for our country once again.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

Other people's kids in profile photos Posted: 7/8/2007 8:05:40 PM
I believe that on a dating site there should only be pics of the person themself...no kids ... no other people ... not anything else. I have seen pics where there were two or more people in the pic(s) and no-where did it say which person was the profile person. I have no problem with no pic and with just the person only. Anything else should be deleted. The pics should paint a small portrait of the person et cetera.

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

What do men like? Posted: 7/8/2007 7:44:10 PM
Thin/slim for certain... Tall is great too, but I definately have a thing for thin / slim builds ... not into big boobs (er..ahhh) breasts, Long hair does it for me every time .... great smile is a bonus ... lots of energy and enjoys travel a lot .... Lots of money and wants to keep me ..That last line was just a joke ... OH... I just looked at your profile YukiSoma ... you will do just fine...when should I pick you up? I live on the east coast / Canada

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

Dating childless women & men..... Posted: 7/8/2007 7:18:50 PM
To the OP ... you have a bonus feature...what most actually look for. So don't ever feel bad about it. Good for you!

bigger guy

Joined: 10/3/2005

Msg: 146 (view)

Victimless crimes Posted: 7/8/2007 7:15:08 PM
Just a point of interest to throw in here ... Adolph Hitler's parents were first cousins.

Show ALL Forums