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Thread: do women actually exists that date men with children

Joined: 10/4/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

do women actually exists that date men with children Posted: 11/6/2005 7:35:44 PM
i am a single mom and i am only 20 years old, the first thing i look at is, does he have children, what kind of father is he, and whats the relationship with the mother. i have no luck finding a guy around my age that HAVE their children! seems like they are all like my daughters father, pretending to me a daddy yet not really "into" it!

Joined: 10/4/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

help me please! Posted: 11/6/2005 6:49:30 PM
Hi everyone! My daughter is 3 months old, Her father CANT hold a job, him and i are no longer together, we were never married, we are only 20 years old, My daughter and i are living with my dad until i finnish college. i start in january. I am recieving assistance, 300 dollars a month. i am expected to pay all the bills in our home, bring groceries into our home, and provide for all my daughter and i need on that 300 dollars,! its IMPOSSABLE to do! i'm only 20 and i'm getting myself into dept so fast! My father is no help other then he pays the rent. He won't pay or buy anything else! i am uneligable to recieve foodstamps because in pennsylvania if you are under 23 and live with a parent, they go by their income for food stamps and my fathers income is TOO high! Anyway,aleigha( my daughter)'s father can't seem to hold a job! so he is going to try to collect SSI, if he does, he won't be expected to pay child support from what i understand! so i'm stuck providing for her all alone! i am TRYING to get an education so that i CAN provide for her sucessfully! but i've been getting so frustrated with finances, i just don't have enough money! there are sites i've seen online that say " get grants" and stuff but it seems ANYTHING i find that i think might lead me to SOMETHING they want money!!! and i don't have the money which is the WHOLE reason i need the help! it makes no sence to me!!! if anyone has any advice or ANYTHING please e-mail me at als_mommy@hotmail.com ! i would REALLY appriciate it! i don't get a chance to check out the fourms too often but i try! Thats why i've givin my e-mail address! so i'm SURE i will get your comments! thank you all for your time! more information, her father doesn't think he should HAVE to help me! he says he wants to be there for her and help but he really doesn't i told him she needs diapers the other night, mind you this week is the FIRST time he's EVER bought her anything, he said i already bought her two things! THATS THE KIND OF GUY HE IS!!!

Joined: 10/4/2005

Msg: 35 (view)

Child Support Discussion Posted: 11/6/2005 6:46:32 PM
Hi everyone! My daughter is 3 months old, Her father CANT hold a job, him and i are no longer together, we were never married, we are only 20 years old, My daughter and i are living with my dad until i finnish college. i start in january. I am recieving assistance, 300 dollars a month. i am expected to pay all the bills in our home, bring groceries into our home, and provide for all my daughter and i need on that 300 dollars,! its IMPOSSABLE to do! i'm only 20 and i'm getting myself into dept so fast! My father is no help other then he pays the rent. He won't pay or buy anything else! i am uneligable to recieve foodstamps because in pennsylvania if you are under 23 and live with a parent, they go by their income for food stamps and my fathers income is TOO high! Anyway,aleigha( my daughter)'s father can't seem to hold a job! so he is going to try to collect SSI, if he does, he won't be expected to pay child support from what i understand! so i'm stuck providing for her all alone! i am TRYING to get an education so that i CAN provide for her sucessfully! but i've been getting so frustrated with finances, i just don't have enough money! there are sites i've seen online that say " get grants" and stuff but it seems ANYTHING i find that i think might lead me to SOMETHING they want money!!! and i don't have the money which is the WHOLE reason i need the help! it makes no sence to me!!! if anyone has any advice or ANYTHING please e-mail me at als_mommy@hotmail.com ! i would REALLY appriciate it! i don't get a chance to check out the fourms too often but i try! Thats why i've givin my e-mail address! so i'm SURE i will get your comments! thank you all for your time!

Joined: 10/4/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

stay at home mom Diet tips Posted: 10/20/2005 5:32:40 AM
Thanks guys for all your replys!!!

Joined: 10/4/2005

Msg: 76 (view)

this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond! Posted: 10/18/2005 9:23:48 AM
Hi everyone! i am only 20, but my daughters father and i were together for 5 years! we grew up and learned it all together! but now the "growing up" is just to hard for him! we are still friends he still see's our daughter he just needs time to grow up, I don't know that him and I will ever be together again he's hurt me pretty bad threw everything, but i read threw alot of these posts and i felt i needed to add in one more lonley person that cant sleep at night because i don't have anyone holding me, i like to sit up and night and recap my day! talk about things thats when i feel the most talkative! thats when the real me comes up. But i TOO like everyone else feel so lonley its hard to go on, my biggest fear in life has always been being alone, and now i really am! but when my daughter wakes up and needs me it makes me put all those bad feelings asside even if it is just for the time being until she goes back to sleep( she's only 3 months old). I just want someone to give me that affection that we all as humans LONG for! I'm a stay at home mom! i've gota meeting at the local community college today to look into going back to school! i'm 'excited!' the advice that i give myself over and over day after day ranges from quite a few things but the most that come to mind at the moment are that, god puts us threw the tests that he does, in order to teach us something useful for our futures! and those feelings ARn't week if anything they are STRONg bcause we all hurt this way yet we keep on living no matter how hard it is! we keep on going! Personally i beleive that we are all the strongest group of people in the WORLD!!! Everyone keep your heads up! trust that things are happening for a reason, a GOOD one in the end!!! And if anyone wants to talk just let me know! i'm here!!!!

Joined: 10/4/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

Your part in things... Posted: 10/17/2005 6:39:01 PM
I was a little girl when my daughter father and i got together we were both 15! there were so many warning signs, by the time he let them out i had already fallen for him! and with the child i was i wanted to help him because i cared about him so much! caring about him turned into loving him, I looked past all of those bad things and loved him for the good i saw in him, and the way he made me feel, on the good days! we had always had an off and on relationship! i was used to it! i think i stuck around because it was the only sence of confort i had ever known! still to this day! he's only been gone 6 weeks or so and he's here every week seeing our daughter for a couple of hours! he doesn't help me with her at all though! He's still a little boy! he won't grow up! he loves us both, but he isn't ready for that responsibility! and i'm still at that stage where i'm making excuses for him! he has been my bestfriend for 5 years! He convinced me that WE wanted a child! threw my whole pregnancy he was here for a bit then gone for a bit but when he's gone its more then him being gone! he deny's her and talks really bad about me! he lies to everyone all the time! he's just a baby boy is all! and I take sole responsibility for MY situation i don't blame it on him at all because I stuck in there I knew how it was with him and i think deep down i always knew it would never change but i always have and maybe always will have, that little bit of hope deep down that he will ...change his ways!... i thought i could CHANGE him!!! biggest mistake, i didn't realize it until NOW that thats what i was hoping for! not that he would come to his sences like i claim, but i want him to be somone that he isn't! i want him to be a good father and a good MAN! i want him to stand up for what he wants, he's never done that! i can honestly say that lately ~since my pregnancy 60% of the time its been hell with him~ buti beleive it isn't over yet! i'm just young and nieve i think! we'll see! i'm trying to move on but its hard! being so young and being a mom and living in such a small city! i can't seem to find anyone! i'm not ready to be with anyoneo yet! i just wish i had that male company! hell i wish i had ANY company! it gets lonley being at home 24/7 with a 3 month old baby!!!! Good luck to everyone! I thnk you are all amazing! because this lifestile is extreamly hard i'm so thankful that i found this site! its been helping me alot lately!!!

Joined: 10/4/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

I can'y handle my 17 year old daughter anymore. Posted: 10/17/2005 6:19:47 PM
Hi! i read your fourom and i am only 20 years old and new to parenthood so you ignoring my advice is totally understandible! but i agree Canadian laws are rediculious! and i agree you need to protect yourself and your other daughter! there is definatly something that has really bothered your daughter for a long time! I was a BAD child i gave my mother a really hard time and like that friend i was put in placement BY MY MOTHER for almost a year! It really sucked but it showed me that the world isn't MYNE and i have to work with society and not against it its the only way to survive! my mom and i are best friends now! she held off for so long because she was afraid of what people would think and say and she felt like a bad mom for sending me away! But honestly its the best thing for your daughter! it seems to me like she started acating out because something was wrong and it just progressed! I'm a strong beleiver in trying to talk to your children! thats how i grew up and i remember times i did the worst things to my parents just for spite because they made me mad! i too am alot bigger then my mom and i used that to my advantage a time or two! Now that i'm older it kills me thinking about what i put her threw and i just PRAy that the myth isn't true that your children are 10 times worse! but enough with my rambling i Think you should keep going up the chain! if the local cops, state cops, they wn't help you keep working your way up until someone does! and i also like the idea of changing the locks and packing up her things i know being a mother its the hardest thing to do but she isn't leaving you a choice! Don't threaten her with it though! if you do decide to do it! just do and tell leave her a note telling her how you feel explain to her that you can't take it anymore that you still love her but she is making it impossable for you to help her. My mother and i always wrote letters to one another b/c we faught and couldn't talk about things. Try it! she will keep that letter forever and someday she WILL realize that you did what you had to do and i'm sure once she straightens out and learns a little more about life, she's become your bestfriend and thank you for what you've done! but you can't keep letting her do this you HAVE to do something! you are out working providing for her! she isn't seeing that! like i said before something is bothering her, something REALLY deep. If you know how to get her to open up! which i'm assuming is VERY hard! try to make a breakthrew! my mom beat me up b/c she was so fed up with it and my moms not that kind of person so when she did that i KNEW i was doing wrong!!! Good luck to you! keep posting tho b/c i'll be praying for you and your children!!!!

Joined: 10/4/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

stay at home mom Diet tips Posted: 10/17/2005 6:05:48 PM
hey everyone! My daughter just turned 3 months and it's starting to get cold out side! i have her all the time and its hard for me to get any time to excersize or pay attention to what i'm eating! i was wondering if anyone has any helpful suggestions for me! i really wanna loose the pregnancy weight i was loosing alot at first because i took her walking but its cold now and i'm scared to take her out to walk all the time!

Joined: 10/4/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

Deadbeats! Posted: 10/16/2005 10:46:22 AM
hi All! My daughter's father and i were together for 5 years! he wanted a child, after alot of thinking i agreed, threwout my whole pregnancy, he was in and out of my life, once she came he stuck around for the first 6 weeks, after that he went back to live with his father, he never had a mother so he thinks as long as she has me she doesn't need him, i BEG him to be apart of her life, numerious times, he always has something more important to do like high school football games and petty things like that! He tells everyone that i won't let him see her and now he is even saying he is doughtin that she is his! he has her name tattooed on his arm! he is definatly a dead beat, I give much Kudo's to you single fathers out there! in alot of situations its just as easy for a GIRL to run and leave the MAN with the responsibility! i don't understand how ANY parent can walk away from their children my daughter is my life i spend every second of the day with her! Those deadbeat mom and dads out there are missing out on so much! but the way i see it is its their loss! i'm lucky! my daughter has male figures in her life ie: MY father, my brother, my step father, uncles, ect. she has a family full of loving people and i know she will be just fine without him! i still have a hard time with knowing she isn't going to have her birth father i mean he drops in once in a while and i can 't stand that! its not heathy for her! but i can't bring myself to tell him its all or nothing b/c if he decides nothing which i'm sure he will i already feel at falt for my daughter not having her father! but thats something i'm working on! OP! she just woke up from her nap! so Thanks for taking the time to read my imput everyone! I give you all much Kudo's for being parents i know how hard it is!!! We all deserve MORE then an award!!!!

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