He's going away to Afghanistan for a year.. hopeless? chat & forums.

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ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

He's going away to Afghanistan for a year.. hopeless? Posted: 4/11/2009 9:27:10 PM
Stay in contact with him, sometimes deployments change people and they are not the same person when they come back that they were before they left. Date others if they come along but if nothing is serious with those that do come along then you can see where things go when he gets back nothing lost nothing gained. If he writes you, write him back and so forth time will make that decision. And I can tell you one thing for sure, there isn't much female booty to partake of while he is there, he just doesn't want to hold you back. P.S. Army guys are very sexy.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 51 (view)

Recession affecting maintenance Posted: 4/11/2009 9:10:33 PM
My ex only pays me $350. I maintain my finances in such a way that it wouldn't matter if he paid me or not I still live a great life and so does my daughter I save and invest for our future. But I realize that not everyone can afford to do what I do because the Military pays for a lot. Just cut back where you can and try to start saving as much as you can.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Ladies, how did you do it? Posted: 4/11/2009 9:00:32 PM
Losing weight means being used to feeling hungry but not eating as much as you'd like to. I suspect that if you were going to the gym 5 times a week and counting calories and you didn't lose any weight that you may not have been challenging your body enough. Try sprints on the tread mill or outside. There is Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig. But I really suspect that you need to change your work out routine inorder to achieve results.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Please, what is the best way to react to this situation? Posted: 4/11/2009 8:46:00 PM
SSSWWWWssss

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 109 (view)

Masturbation in public places? Posted: 4/11/2009 8:40:42 PM
Um, that makes me sick, Next time keep it to yourself.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 187 (view)

CONDOM? or NO CONDOM? Posted: 4/11/2009 8:34:14 PM
Use a condom unless in a committed relationship where you both will not mind being tested for STD's. I'm taking a college class on Human Sexuality all those pics of every kind of STD imaginable has me sick to me stomach. Stay healthy, stay safe. If a guy is unwilling to consider your health then he's just not that in to you.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

What do you all think about golden showers? Posted: 4/11/2009 8:30:34 PM
How fruit loops. NO! But I think that we must confer with R Kelly on this one.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

Lookin foward to trying this weekend! Posted: 4/11/2009 8:29:19 PM
No, it doesn't make you gay but I wouldn't bring it up over beers with your friends. To each their own as long as both parties are of age and consenting adults.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Don't give up. Posted: 4/2/2009 1:25:02 AM
There is always someone out there in a much worse place then you are. That's why when life has you down it is important to try and think about what you do have. Prayer and meditation are my best friend many answers to problems have come to me during this time. Good Luck.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 66 (view)

Older women dating younger guys...... Posted: 4/2/2009 1:17:52 AM
At least you are smart enough to recognize the advantages of dating an older woman. The problem is finding an older woman who will date a much younger man. I personally don't think in the long run these relationships work out unless one or the other has a lot of dough.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Do you think I still have a chance here? Posted: 4/2/2009 12:55:53 AM
It's free so it doesn't hurt if you keep your account open. Just check it once a week or so or little or as often as you want. Your profile looks nice but you are 21 yrs old and in college, loosen up and have fun. Maybe you need to go to a few more parties to meet some ladies. Join a club or a study group some girl will come through an scoop you up, don't worry.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Don't you just hate it when... Posted: 4/2/2009 12:50:45 AM
Sounds like you judged a book by it's cover, always open it up look inside and then and only then will you know if there is a connection to move forward or not. BTW, I don't know any girl who wants to be called a lolipop by someone she doesn't know or even at all in public makes you sound like a stalker.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

a year later...i still can't read him Posted: 3/15/2009 11:51:04 PM
Sounds like he isn't serious about you but gets jealous when others pay attention to you. Does this equal a relationship? Not really only more games. Ask him one a real date, stop **** footing around and dragging out the illusion of a friendship/relationship. If he backs off or says no then you didn't lose anything.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Is he playing me? Posted: 3/15/2009 11:44:13 PM
Clearly you are not the only fish he is trying to hook. I don't see how you can be in love with someone you have never met. The only thing it could be is maybe he is in love with the idea of you. Reality is always a different story. If he wanted to meet you and be with you he would be.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Matchmaking Posted: 3/15/2009 11:37:47 PM
Yes, I wouldn't mind going to a match maker to set me up with a date. It's probably just a tad bit safer that way.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

He's in Iraq .. Posted: 3/1/2009 10:29:41 PM
Don't put yourself in compromising situations. Think he is there and all he can think about is you and all the fun you are having with these guys. You know it's ok to have a life but if your prone to partying and all that tone it down a bit. Oh and don't for get to send him a pic of you in some sexy lingerie just so he remembers what he is missing and has something to keep him warm at night.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

Booty Call - The Exception or the Rule? Posted: 3/1/2009 10:24:38 PM
It's a bit strange that your guy showed no interest when you told him you lost your job. Maybe he was afraid you would ask to move in with him or something crazy like that. I have had guys that I was seeing contact me while they or I was away. This showed that they cared. I never initiated the contact they did. So if you don't hear from him while you are away I would say "it's not that serious." You can cut the guessing game and simply ask him if he wants a deeper commitment as in a monogamous relationship or you can just throw the dice and let it ride. If he cares about you he will miss you and contact you and if you need to cling to him by always making the first moves then it is likely you are more in to him then you. The vibe though from what you say is one of convience and not really much more.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Something's been bugging me - need a woman's viewpoint Posted: 2/25/2009 10:32:37 PM
I like my car shot and as they say if you don't like what you see......keep shopping. Oh, yes I was driving while my pic was taken.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS SURVEY Posted: 2/20/2009 11:51:23 AM
I was with a guy whom I thought wanted a relationship but realized quickly it was not the case. It ended up being FWB and then one day he said that he wanted a deeper commitment. I could not take it there because of the things that had already transpired. In the end we both lost out. When I was ready he wasn't, when he was ready I wasn't. It just wasn't meant to be. Your friend is afraid of getting hurt or emotionally attached to a guy. Maybe because she has gotten hurt in the past or it could be because of the relationship her parents had. If she doesn't want to die alone she needs to confront her fears.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 141 (view)

Is it possible to fall in love with someone before meeting them in person? Posted: 2/20/2009 11:45:05 AM
There is nothing like a good dose of reality to set the tone for the relationship. You can fall in love with someone's words but you can never really know someone until you have to wash their knickers. Big difference, one is more fantasy of who they want you to think they are, the other is the reality of who they are.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Major Development (I think) Posted: 2/20/2009 11:39:38 AM
It was the perfect way to ease such a heavy topic into conversation to feel you out and see if you feel the same. Yes, he thinks he loves you and wanted you to know. Now the ball is in your court, he may be asking you for a deeper commitment.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

where to look for that one, special person Posted: 2/20/2009 1:31:41 AM
Go on line and search for single socials in your area. Here in Hawaii they have singles dinners, speed dating and other things for singles to mix with other singles. If your on the prowl make sure you put thought into how you look when going to the mall, grocery store or where ever because the truth is if you really are open to meeting someone she could be anywhere. One guy met a girl he recently started seeing through friends while at the beach. They have been dating ever since.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

ok so here's the BIG question!!!!!!! Posted: 2/20/2009 1:27:59 AM
We all make time to do what is important to us. That in itself says everything.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Separated Posted: 2/20/2009 1:24:29 AM
You can not start a new relationship until you have finished the one you are in. Seems like things are being drug out, I dated a guy for 2 years we were both separated getting a divorce. I was over my ex he was not and by the time I had realized it I had given him my heart. Since that relationship I refuse to date a guy who hasn't made a clean cut from his last relationship.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

not being allowed to talk to guyfriends Posted: 2/20/2009 1:14:22 AM
I have one friend in my life who is female that I can talk to about anything and everything, through my divorce to depression to whatever we have been there for each other. Now I have other girls that I have hung out with and such but the disappointment of their character or true nature has always shined through and I have realized that those girls were really not my friend at all. I thank my stars for my girl every day! I say that so you don't feel alone in your element. Lots of girls are jealous and insecure in their relationships. They certainly don't want their man turning to a cute lil hottie in times of trouble because he might end up being weak and kissing you or something. I say that because I live with/around a lot of married couples and none of them race to be my friend or get to know me in a personal way. I have come to accept it. Bottom Line: Accept the unfairness of it all you can't change it. I am sorry for your loss, maybe join a support group for those that have lost loved ones in the mean time.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Really?? Posted: 2/20/2009 1:05:55 AM
Delete them if you left on unfriendly terms and it bothers you to have them on your page.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Controlling Old Feelings Posted: 2/20/2009 1:03:01 AM
I guess try and limit how much contact you have with him. You know it bugs me when guys say they aren't ready for a new relationship because when they meet a girl who they really click that goes out the window and really ends up diving right in. There are a few though that will I suppose just want to be alone with themselves licking old wounds but it's more likely that if he was seeing someone else that she could still have a foot in his door and THAT would be the reason why he isn't ready and knows that he may end up hurting you. That's just my thoughts though.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Lesbian? Posted: 2/17/2009 11:17:26 PM
Go mom! LOL. Enjoy the ride it will probably be short lived but passionate. However, it sounds to me because you mentioned your mom that you are hoping for something more, but this girl is bi sexual and sounds a bit confused. I would hold back on putting a lot of you emotionals into her until she can show you that she is willing to whole heartedly commit to you.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

a little advice por favor? Posted: 2/17/2009 9:02:17 PM
Get rid of the picture of you clapping it looks kind of gay. Find another picture to post of you instead even if you put on a dressier outfit and have your mom take the picture. Hey no one has to know!

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

Should I consider this a sign??? Posted: 2/17/2009 8:52:27 PM
Well, if she has a UTI every other week I can understand why you are concerned. As others have suggested be extra clean before and after engaging in sexual activities. This has only happened to me once with my ex husband and boy was I miserable! Suggest you all go see the doc if it continues before you dump her. If she refuses to look deeper into the issue it could very well be that her UTI is the equal to the normal headache excuse.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Why are there more online daters who are workers? Posted: 2/10/2009 10:37:04 PM
Yes, I am hear me roar! Maybe he isn't loving his job but as long as he is bringing home some bacon. It's all good. Speaking of which I've been with out a partner for years I am used to providing for myself. I want a guy who is an asset not a paperweight.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Why are there more online daters who are workers? Posted: 2/9/2009 12:02:20 AM
I could never see myself sitting at home 24/7 doing nothing but sit on my rookus all day every day. I need to be a productive part of human society, I need to contribute and that would be what I need from my partner. He must have drive, ambition and a job that he goes to. It could be something he loves but doesn't have the greatest pay. What I would never want is a leech. Someone who sits around and dreams but does nothing to pay the bills.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Alone We Are Posted: 2/7/2009 10:54:30 AM
People always end up disappointing me. Yes I know god is with me but indeed mostly alone I am. Because I know the only way to get through this life is by depending on me.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

why do men say they want to talk and then nothing Posted: 2/6/2009 11:07:47 PM
Well, thank goodness you can see through the bs. If a guy is lying to you when he has barely met you think how it would be if he got into a relationship with you. That guy wasn't as great as you initially thought and certainly you should not allow him to make you feel worth while just because he paid a little attention. You are worth while because you are you with or with out his affection.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Define drama Posted: 2/3/2009 10:34:57 PM
Fortunately for us if someone is a drama queen it becomes very clear within the first hour of meeting them. Some people are addicted to being in the midst of turmoil and if there is none to be had they do everything in their power to create it.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

To Tell Or Not ToTell...? Posted: 2/3/2009 10:32:09 PM
Honesty goes both ways and it is not a one way street.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

What to wear? Posted: 2/3/2009 10:28:08 PM
Nice collar shirt and some dockers or equivlant dress pants. Do not wear a tshirt and do not wear jeans. Chew some minty gum to ensure your breath is nice and minty fresh.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Was I being impolite? Posted: 2/3/2009 10:22:36 PM
At least he made himself stand out as one of those guys whom you should stay away from. Being that your busy he saved you a ton of time an energy to find out later that he was fruit loops.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Do you really smoke??? Posted: 2/3/2009 10:18:09 PM
Hmmm…maybe the same reason why some people put “single” on their profiles when they are not yet divorced?? Why do some people do that? Honest answers, please. Yes girl I am with you on that one. I do not want to talk to a guy who is only seperated from his wife. I desire to speak to a guy who is completely done with his last relationship meaning divorced. Guys still contact me though in the still attached status I guess hoping.....

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

Using the marriage name AFTER a divorce? Posted: 2/3/2009 10:09:17 PM
If I had kept my ex's last name (my daughter has his last name because we had her when we were married) and I had gotten pregnant by another guy who was not going to stay in the picture I would give the unborn child the same last name as the rest of us. Its personal preference and I see no need to judge someone because of the choice of last name.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

He loves to kiss me but bad breath is not pleasant Posted: 2/3/2009 8:03:10 PM
Grab a mint and give him one.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Emotionally Unavaliable.= Cold an Robotic. Posted: 2/2/2009 9:57:27 PM
Sounds like when you come across someone like this understand you aren't gonna be the one to crack the code. It's tempting I know to take up the jauntlet but at the at the end of the day you'll end up a loser just like him. Skip him, forget him, move on the the emotionally giving. Who cares why he is afraid to love again it wastes to much precious time.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Please help me here Posted: 2/1/2009 8:29:37 PM
Nice, someone asks for an opinion and when they get someone who steps on his high ass soap box and dogs everything about you - well you got what you asked for. Please, PEOPLE are who they are she did not say she wanted a lifestyle make over. She asked how to improve her profile.. So Mr. Soap box, NO WONDER you are single, I bet your blunt honesty has the girls running in the other direction. What in God's name makes your opinion so surpreme.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

This has been asked a billion times (Part Deux) Posted: 2/1/2009 8:19:43 PM
Dinner and drinks afterwards. In my opinion, the evening "struggled" a bit at a few points. The connection we had the first night did not seem to be there last night. There were also a couple values/belief systems we do not share, he is an atheist, I am catholic (a hypocritical one, but one just the same ). He also had some "radical" ideas as far as government is concerned. He sounds like if you spend a long period of time with him he'd become annoying with his point of views. Make him a FWB but sounds like that didn't even go well, so never mind.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

23 and been single for a year! Posted: 2/1/2009 8:10:24 PM
Think stats on this. Those that marry young either choosing to have children are not have a high divorce rate or stay in it not because they are happy but because they feel they have to. When I say young I mean in your early 20's. The reason being is because many people do not know who they are, what they want to be and basically don't have experiences that age will give you. Also, most people when they are young are willing to over look certain behavior in the false hope that things will change. It doesn't. When couples join together later in life say in the 30's the relationship ends up having a little more stability because the guy is ready to settle down, he or she has a career, and they know themselves better. That's just my thoughts on it. I would rather have my freedom then being stuck in an emotional prision.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Interested or Not Interested? Posted: 2/1/2009 7:53:23 PM
The ship is sinking, jump off the plank and save yourself those that tell you to keep trying are giving you a false sense of hope. There is none, if there was the question would have not been a question at all.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Is it acceptable for a guy to ask this? Posted: 2/1/2009 7:49:28 PM
He wants to know if your gonna put out. He is looking for a girl to dip his oil stick in. Just to tag on to what the first poster said.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Need Help Please!! Posted: 2/1/2009 7:35:23 PM
Sounds like your in a lose lose situation. I would keep the cat in the bag in this case.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

need to know something Posted: 2/1/2009 12:11:18 AM
What does a guy really want? Sex and food, everything in between is only to get more of the stated sex and food. That's being honest.

ak-12

Joined: 8/25/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Younger Men????? Posted: 1/31/2009 2:35:46 PM
LOL, I actually see a guy and that is the age difference between us. I being in my 30's and him in his 20's. No I am no sugar mama. I don't buy him gifts and when we go out he pays or sometimes I do. I would never say he is my boyfriend because we are in to different stages of life plus I will be moving. We have fun together enjoy things for what they are. Could it work? In my situation no, I do not ever see a future with him. But every situation is different and it depends on the maturity of the guy and what he is ready for.

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