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scott_vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Things go great, then suddenly no response? Posted: 5/27/2009 5:49:19 PM
We have all been there on this one. I have had this happen as well and its annoying because there is no closure. you sit around like a fool hoping that things are really ok, but eventually you have to be realistic with yourself and move on. I'm usually holding onto hope way past the point where a rational person would have said "Um, I think you have been kicked to the curb". Getting dumped is a lot easier. Since it bugs me so much I make sure i avoid this if the girl Iam seeing is just not the person I want to be with. Even if I don't want to date them, I feel that they should be treated with respect.

scott_vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 93 (view)

Are most guys only into one night stands? Posted: 5/12/2009 8:52:38 PM
Most of my relationships go sexual pretty quickly, but I'm not a fan of one night stands. Sure, if time, geography, or circumstances conspire against you, one night may be all you get. If so, make the most of it and perhaps you will come out of it with a treasured memory. If you do have time, why end it at one night only? If I decide I want to sleep with a woman, I usually am attracted to her on many different levels. There will be real affection there. After the first night (assuming all went welll), why in the hell wouldn't I want to spend more time with her. Its only after you have been together a couple of times that you can truly learn the secret desires, fantasies, and dreams of your partner, and then go about trying to make those a reality for her. Thats when sex really takes off

scott_vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 1235 (view)

Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 5/12/2009 8:40:42 PM
Yes, of course there are good guys out there, as there are good women. I cannot speak to the guy question, since my point of view is tainted by being a guy myself. As to the women I have dated from POF, they have been great. I have been incredibly suprised at some of the sweet, intelligent, and sexy women that I have met through POF. Sure, not all are like this, and I'm very picky, but they are out there.

scott_vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 46 (view)

can friends with benefits ever develop into something more? Posted: 5/12/2009 8:16:48 PM
I'll have to say yes on this one. I usually date casually, and it has resulted in some FWB situations. I enjoy sex, and so do women, so why hold off if both of you enjoy it. I also know a good thing when I see it. If the woman I'm involved with is sweet, intelligent, charismatic, and captures my interest and my heart, why wouldn't I try and make the relationship something more substantial. As a matter of fact, this is the way I tend to get into any serious relationship.

scott_vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Are you a type guy? Do you have to have a certain hair color? Posted: 5/12/2009 8:05:15 PM
I think we all have our preferences. For me a tall, long haired blonde, with a slender athletic build, blue eyes and a soft voice is my absolute kryptonite. Do I only date women like this? No. Of course not. I can find beauty in any woman. I have dated blondes, brunettes, redheads, asians, europeans, hispanic girls, you name it. To me, they were each attractive in their own unique way.

scott_vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 103 (view)

The Modern Day Knight in Shinning Armor aka known as Prince Charming! Posted: 5/12/2009 7:33:59 PM
OK, there arent many knights in shining armor, nor are there man fairy princesses, but there is nothing wrong with a little chivalry. Being a gentleman, and treating your woman like a lady is a good place to start. Also, if you expect to attracty quality woman, one who is pretty, intelligent, fun, and charismatic, then take a good hard look in the mirror at yourself. Are you a guy she would be proud to have at her side. Do you take care of yourself and make sure you look your best when you are with her, or do you take all these things for granted. I think there are handsome, intelligent, and most important, decent men out there.

scott_vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 524 (view)

WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS? Posted: 5/12/2009 7:28:19 PM
This is such BS. Women over 30 who are single and childless have simply made decisions. There should be no stigma in a woman choosing to do such things. Its her life, not societies, and she is ultimately responsible to herself for setting the conditions to achieve her own happiness. If that means staying single, or refraining from childbirth, so be it.

scott_vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Is dating at 40 just a bad idea? Posted: 5/12/2009 7:17:30 PM
I love dating at 40. I guess I'm the guy who has all the warning signs you warned of (recently divorced, not looking for serious). I am up front about all of this, so its all in the open ahead of time. Honesty is best. Getting back to the dating at 40 question: Its great. You are usually past the point of immaturity. You know what you want, what works for you, and what you will accept in a partner. I have FAR more fun dating at 40 than I ever had in my 20's.

Scott_Vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 51 (view)

Good Girl or Bad??? Posted: 10/18/2008 5:43:57 PM
A lot of time its a preference thing. Some guys like trashy, some don't. For me the old saying "A lady on the street, a freak in the sheets" is pretty much descriptive of what I hope to find. Contradiction? No way. I am turned off by 'bad girls', obnoxious or trashy women (Madonna pops into mind). If you can't be with her in a social setting because she acts like Avril Lavigne does in her videos, or makes a scene, or dresses like a cheap Vegas hooker, well, theres plenty of guys who can have her. Just wont be me. Too much trouble, and the sex isn't any better. I am attracted to "good girls" but when I find out that they don't have a little hidden streak of badass hiding right below the surface I usually move on. Why? Simple, they are way too much work, and carry too much social or religious baggage that will prevent them from ever enjoying the type of sensual, fun, and adventurous sex life that I would hope to share with a partner. I am turned on by sexual confidence. By that I mean a nice woman who is secure in her sexuality and can allow herself to enjoy it and even have fun and adventure with it. Sex is playtime for adults so why limit yourself once you and your partner are behind closed doors. Its all a part of inimacy. She needs to be able to act like a lady in a social setting, but behind closed doors, its 'game on'.

Scott_Vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 617 (view)

Better SEX: Before or After 30? Posted: 10/18/2008 5:32:00 PM
Man, I'm getting in late on all the interesting discussions. Sex is WAY better after 30. Both of you are beyond the insecurities and tee-hee-hee/giggle-giggle phase of being a teenager, and the awkwardness of sex in the 20's when you are still figuring out what works and what doesn't, and where every sexual relationship immediately is threatened by marriage and serious comittment. By the time you are 30 you can approach the subject with confidence. You both are old enough to know its a natural part of life and something to be enjoyed rather than be ashamed of. You are beyond the religious and conservative social stigmas and other nonsense and can actually enjoy yourself and help your partner enjoy herself as well. Hell, dating itself is way better after 30. Its so much more natural, open, fun, and easy.

Scott_Vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 379 (view)

WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS? Posted: 10/18/2008 5:26:42 PM
Considering a woman over 30 who is single and childless as a failure is ridiculous. Its a lifestyle choice. Some women want careers. Some want families. Some want to just stay single. I was married. Didn't work out. I have no intention of being married again. Will I be considered a failure by some? Sure will, but I could care less. Its my life and I live it according to my rules. You have to choose a path that suits you and you alone. Choose well, because you have to live with it, but you will be happier in the end.

Scott_Vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 68 (view)

Women going to bars alone Posted: 10/18/2008 4:55:01 PM
I think its fine when women go into bars alone. Its such a double standard when guys can do it and women can't because the assumption is made that they are tramps merely out to pickup men (and even if that were the case, who gives a rat's ass) . Thats the type of mindset you would expect to find in a muslim nation, not here. I go into bars alone a lot because I'll be out and just feel like a beer. Instead of organizing a posse for a night out I'll just drop in. If there is a nice girl there I'll chat her up. Why should a woman be ill advised to do the same. Go for it girls!!

Scott_Vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 59 (view)

The shower thing - overrated or not? Posted: 9/23/2008 3:35:37 PM
Shower sex??!! Are you kidding me?? VERY HOT!!! Two bodies completely naked, smooth and slippery?? Awesome!!!! Actual sex isn't even necessary sometimes, just the rubbing and touching and kissing under the warm water.. What a huge turn on. Very sensual. Damn, I think I need some private time here.....

Scott_Vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

FRENCH SPEAKER Posted: 9/23/2008 3:29:16 PM
Certain accents are sexy, others are not. I enjoy when a woman speaks french, but I think a guy speaking french sounds very effeminate (not that I would care about a guy turning me on, but....). I LOVE women with scandanavian accents. Swedish especially is a very melodic language. Its almost as if the language is sung rather than spoken. I have heard many wome love hearing men speak italian. Some languages have the other effect. I speak german, but would never look at it as any sort of romantic tool. Same with dutch. Just too harsh and masculine. Spanish is 50/50. Personally, I enjoy it. Some guys are really turned off by it.

Scott_Vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

great chemistry, nothing in common Posted: 9/13/2008 4:14:13 PM
Sexual energy is sometimes all you will have in common. I have had flings where I LOVED the sex, but afterwards it was like "What the hell am I doing". I don't know. You have to decide for yourself. A relationship based soley on sex will not survive when the sex gets routine. You have to have something else or you are just FB's (which is great if that is what you want). I am just like any other guy. I will be drawn to women who I find sexually appealing. Her looks, sexuality, things that turn my head and say "nice!!". What will hold my attentions (for a relationship) will be her intellect, and how much fun I have with her when we have our clothes on rather than off. Sex has to be good, but there has to be more.

Scott_Vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

Why did they think I would be impressed? Posted: 9/13/2008 3:57:58 PM
I live in Vegas, but work too hard for my money to gamble it. Yeah, some guys come here and throw it around a lot. Some might even think they might impress a woman by being a jackass with their cash, but I doubt it. Most people who gamble are just having fun, and taking a shot. I wouldnt read too much into it. By the way, what were you doing at the table? Gambling, or waiting for a man to come up, impress you, and sweep you off your feet? If so, why are you busting on the men who might have been doing exactly that. If you were back in your room at 9:45 masturbating then you probably had some romantic/sexual expectation that was not fulfilled during your time at the tables.

Scott_Vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

how do you spot an easy woman? Posted: 9/13/2008 3:45:04 PM
Tough for some of us to spot, but I had one roomate who would excel in this. We would be sitting in a bar with a bunch of guys and all of a sudden he would stop and say "I see a wounded gazelle" and off he would go. He specialized in picking up women who were very emotionally needy, and he sure could spot it.

Scott_Vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 86 (view)

Are all women only into guys with six pack abs and muscles to the ceiling?... Posted: 9/12/2008 4:27:45 PM
I have been skinny, and I have been muscular, and I can tell you that I get 10X more attention, compliments, and outright craziness from women when I've been hitting the gym. I'm 6''2", and have always been tall. That on its own never worked worth a damn. Throw a little bit on top of that and things change. I'm not huge. Athletic is probably a better description than muscular. I guess I'm built more like a swimmer than a bodybuilder. Perhaps a guy that huge might be a turnoff to women. I don't know. Can't speak from experience on that one. Part of it might be confidence. I know for a fact that women respond to that. If you know you are looking pretty good your confidence will be a lot better than if you are accutely aware of your own physical shortcomings.

Scott_Vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

At the end of the date...... Posted: 9/12/2008 4:02:50 PM
Look for the body language, and have some confidence. Few women will object to a quick kiss. If she backs off a touch, or doesn't seem to be "feeling it" she 's still uncomfortable. If she leabs in and kisses you back, you are ok. If I have been having some serious email banter with her before the date and we are both pretty comfortable upon meeting, I will often go for the "I just gotta get this out of the way" kiss and just do it. I have never had a girl try and stop me (much the opposite usually), and it is a great icebreaker, gets that first kiss out of the way, and is probably something that has never happened to her before. Just a technique. In the right circumstances, it works.

Scott_Vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 206 (view)

Men who avoid attractive women?? Posted: 9/12/2008 4:44:08 AM
Interesting topic. I have an ex-GF who is super hot. She has more trouble getting a date from a decent guy than a 300lb girl. Wierd. First off, sh is tall, about 5'11. That rules out guys shorter. Secondly, she is stunning. Brunette with sparkling blue eyes and a gorgeous face. You can see guys looking at her, but none will approach. Lastly, she is kind of shy. When guys do talk to her she comes across as a bit aloof. It rarely gets to the ppoint where a guy will ask for her number. I think a lot of this has to do with confidence. I still go out to bars with her from time to time and see the guys check her out. Never see one approach. They immediately think "I don't have a chance in hell" and never even make an approach. Too bad. they are missing out. As to me, I will often approach gorgeous women, but at the first sign of "high maintenance", boom, I'm outta there. Looks are one thing, but I always go for personality first.

Scott_Vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

Is sex expected? Posted: 9/12/2008 4:33:54 AM
I never go into a date expecting sex, but if its not going that way after 3-4 dates, then I usually bail because there probably isn't enough spark to maintain the relationship over the long term. I prefer dating women my own age even though I have plenty of opportunities with younger girls. Why? Because older women are MUCH more open about sex. They discuss it freely, don't treat it like its taboo, are usually a lot better in bed (they have far fewer hangups and inhibitions to get past), and rarely have that post-sex guilt trip that many younger girls throw out there. If you haven't slept with this guy by date 6, you probably are not attracted to him enough to make a long term relationship worthwhile.

Scott_Vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

How many guys will wait until marriage for sex? Posted: 9/12/2008 4:28:56 AM
To each his own on the sex thing, but I doubt I would date a woman who held out on sex. To me its an important part of a relationship. I don't buy into the notion that its only for married couples. Its human, natural, and fun. I enjoy it, and am highly suspicious of a woman whose sex drive is so low that she can go without it indefinitely. I have to admire that you stick by your convictions. Its going to cause you a LOT of missed opportunities, and might leave you sitting there years from now looking back saying "what the hell was I thinking?", but if its important to you, go for it. Just understand that this isn't the 1950's, and few guys will wait.

Scott_Vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

men who like sex... Posted: 9/12/2008 4:24:09 AM
Guys can have sex-only relationships easily. For women sex is usually wrapped very strongly with emotion. Its not always the case, but as a rule its valid. Sounds to me like he values you for the physical companionship, but is, and will remain, distant emotionally. I don't see this relationship going anywhere.

Scott_Vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Lots of interest at first, now nothing!! Profile help!! Posted: 9/6/2008 7:58:24 PM
Hi, I posted on POF two weeks ago and got a lot of activity right off the bat. Now its down to 2-3 visits a day, and maybe a single message. Anyone with some profile expertise willing to share a little with an online dating newbie? Scott

Scott_Vegas

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

3 Months, no sex? Posted: 9/5/2008 1:16:19 AM
You are in the dreaded "friend zone" . She is going to use you as an emotional crutch as she lurches from one bad-boy relationship to the next. If you are willing to play the role of friend without benefits, fine. Go for it. Just don't be frustrated when the reality of the situation is out of synch with your desires. I'd "confide" in her that since she is not into you, you are planning on seeing other women, and taking it to a sexual level. If she freaks out and gets jealous, you have a chance. If she decides to accept the role of counselor/cheerleader/coach to your personal life, you never had a shot in hell with her anyways. Harsh reality time: I suspect she doesnt really respect you. She probably sees you as a 'safe' good guy. You are someone who can help her fix messes she gets herself into but nobody that she will find sexually attractive.

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