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Thread: Do you think it's harder to find a mate when you have kids?

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Do you think it's harder to find a mate when you have kids? Posted: 9/26/2008 6:03:34 PM
Definately yes. It is hard enough when so many guys are like are the kids going to try to break us up. Am I ready to be a daddy to an instant family without time to get used to it (pregnancy). Then add special needs and it scares a lot off. Hey there are even a few of us with special needs that have kids and man that really lowers the amount for us also. I mean I dont advertise there are issues. Heck they are almost non exsistant but I hesitate to even mention them until I get to know someone for fear it will scare them off. But just believe that when you find the special guy he will be one in a million because his heart will be big enough not only for you and your kids but also to accept a special needs child as well so you know you are getting a gem when you do get one. And I believe there is someone out there for each of us. It is just a matter of finding that one person. I believe we even the odds with the more people we come into contact with than if we only meet one or two a month.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

What do you think of the phrase Amazon Woman? Posted: 9/17/2008 7:21:48 PM
My brother started the whole school calling me Amazon. I was the third tallest girl in high school and that wasnt even my senior year. My brother was 2 years ahead of me. I was deeply tanned, tall, stacked in all the right places, long dark brown hair, honor roll student....He was a short skinny red head with curles in wrong places and freckles who didnt even try to use the smarts he had...he hated my classes were higher levels than his and he was a senior. He looked like howdy doody and hated it...so he picked at me. That and he didnt want me to date because he knew he would hear about it in the locker room so he liked to scare people away. I was shy he was out going. I thought people were making fun of me until the following year. I did some research and started to change my own perspective. I may have been tall but I had to be happy with who I was and Amazon did describe me adequitly. Very few guys dated me because of my height. So I dated the few that were curious about tall girls and accepted not eveyone is as comfortable with themselves as I was. It didnt bother me anymore...actually now I consider it a complement...btw I am 6 foot tall now. Back then I was only about 5 foot 9 and wore a size 9....Had to trim down the waists on them but was the only way to get things to hang long enough so when I bent over I didnt moon people...lol. I wore shorts a lot so 1 I could show off my legs and 2 shorts can be short and not be called high waters.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 63 (view)

OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ??? Posted: 9/16/2008 9:46:16 AM
and I need one for church too. LOL Oh now you have to be difficult....lol.... this is my heavenly sent loneliness eradication, companionship enhancing, physical assimulation partner/friend. the physical part can be left out but you use so many big words they are like uhh ok thats nice dear.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

Need some insight here guys... Posted: 9/15/2008 10:59:07 PM
have not done anything else so stupid since the other night. However, on Saturday he was supposed to go with me to a foorball get together at my best friend's house-yet, he bailed at the absolute last minute saying he really needed to get some packing done. He is moving in a couple of weeks. I was actually very disappointed and I told him so, but I was not rude or mean. I told him I would call him later. I talked to him later that afternoon during half-time and he had gotten like nothing done with the packing, but was watching the game (which come on....I knew would be the case). First...why was being with your friends more important than say volunteering to help him move. Second...maybe he was packing and had the game on to keep him company and thought well I will take a little break...I mean packing is hard work and sometimes it is hard to get started since knowing where to start can be daunting. Third....Are you really ready for a perm relationship. He is trying to get things together and you arent very understanding he is busy right now. The only time he has for you your too busy helping everyone but him.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

Need some insight here guys... Posted: 9/15/2008 10:52:58 PM
I may not be a guy but come on... Remember guys are from mars girls from venus. We tend to react and think in emotions. They tend to act...kiss got me horny ...now I get laid...damn she is leaving maybe she wasnt as into it as I thought I guess I will give her some time maybe I was moving too fast for her....Then you text back with a snotty comment because you were having hurt feelings (emotions). He doesnt understand you expected him to call. He doesnt understand that usual means it has to be all the time. There was a lot left unsaid...so you reacted emotionally and struck out at him...Now he is confused. What did I do wrong? So he acts like nothing major happened maybe you are just having a moment...so he asks you out thinking work out the problem face to face fix it and move on if the last conversation didnt fix it....you say got plans with no explaination to him that says....hmmm still mad I must have screwed up bigger than I thought...maybe she doesnt want to have sex with me and I am just a friend and since she doenst like me that way then she is out with someone else ....If I let her know how much it hurts for her to be with someone else I look like a wuss. So he is like uh ok lol...Then you telll him it is girl friends and kind of throw that in his face so now he is thinking ....She knew it mattered to me and now she is laughing at me for caring that she may be seeing someone else... GEEEZZZ....you both are doing so much thinking....with your head up your....anyway he is trying to protect his male ego at the same time his perceptions are male...Mean while you are trying to play the I'm mad at you do something extra nice for me or I will make you think I am doing something I m not so you see you give me what I want because I can get rid of you easy if you dont routine. FIX IT if you are mature and really like him then the two of you need to talk and be totally honest and try to control yourself....none of the little eye rolles and flouncing around in a snit. Accept what is said if you dont have FULL clarity then ask him what he truely means without holding it over his head if you dont like what he has to say..... Otherwise watch Blue Collar Comedy Tour....You are asking the quintessintal question...Does this dress make me look fat. He says yes you get mad. He says no you get mad because you know he is saying that to make you feel good. A no win situation for the guy....Also makes for a lousy uncomforatble relationship that ends and leaves another man bitter so another woman has to suffer for it. You are giving womanhood a bad name.....fix it or move on after telling him the truth of your feelings and why you behaved as you did.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

Would you let your 12 year old child get liposuction? Posted: 9/15/2008 10:28:48 PM
I understand that about them having opinions about what they eat. I am all for that. But if good choices are offered and you let the kids choose what to eat just make sure the offerings are healthy and not high sugar high refined garbage and fried foods all the time they will be better for it. My daughter went thru a phase of no bread because she heard my brother tell me to cut bread out since I am fat and it will make me fatter and I can lose weight if I cut all bread items out. She is under weight so we had to have a discussion about eating and how our bodies need certain things just not to over do it. Also green beans look like a mans arm with muscles so we call them muscle beans to give you big muscles and they like little trees (broccoli) They pretend they are giraffes. They are not allowed to say they dont like something if they dont at least try it. Once they try it and say it that is ok i mean we all arent going to like the same things. but i do get them to try that item again at a later date when they forgot they didnt like it the first time. What I was saying though is families parents included have gotten into the hurry hurry lifestyle where KFC for dinner burger for lunch and bag of chips for a quick snack eaten on the go are the norm. Then they come home from running around or working and sit in front of the TV or game consol. Families dont do things in the yard together like throw the frisbee, go for a walk...even talk to each other. The kids see this and they get used to it being the norm and then parents wonder why thier kids are fat. I try to make time to bake chicken...even when working on my day off I cook extra and put in fridge or freezer so it is like a TV dinner but I know it is healthy home cooking. I buy boneless skinless chicken. (why pay for the fat and bones you dont eat anyway)...I cook decent meals. I make a point of us turning off the TV and all sitting down together. After my daughter gets home from school she does homework. Then I send her and her brother out to play. Then while they are busy playing outside I cook a meal while I catch the news. I call them in to wash up for dinner since by then they are grubby (still working on getting my son to quit eating dirt...he likes the taste). Then we eat together. I try to have dinner every night about 6. after dinner we have time for a story or song and bathes...if they watch TV it is while they are waiting thier turn for a bath. On the weekends during inside time we play board games or we go outside together. We walk around the yard...ok so I live on 5 acres...you can walk anywhere. We check our garden and talk about cloud shapes we see or what they think would be a good dinner. I take them shopping and we talk about the food on the shelves. What is good and what is good for us and how what is good for you can taste good too. They help pick things out they like. I am not saying it is easy. But my children's welfare and health make it worth the trouble to take that effort. I dont want them to have weight problems and be made fun of...whether they are over or underweight. She tends to be thin he is just right but you can tell from his frame which is like his fathers he is going to tend to be big and blocky. It is a matter of weighting what is most important to you. It seems the family in question has more money than they do time. THey work hard to have time to relax. But thier idea of relaxing is vegging in front of TV or sitting around instead of letting thier child feel a part of things...or encouraging activity and family time and a lot of times the kids turn to food instead of parental company. My question is ok so she wants lipo at 12. What sort of conversations does she and her mother have? Are they close? What is she going to be like at say 17...or is she going to let some boy get into her pants to make her feel worthy...I mean teenage boys say fat girls are desperate and they can get some just by being nice to one when theier friends arent around. Is she going to be able to have the confidence to say I dont need to do that to validate myself...you want me cuz you think i am easy you dont want me because you care about me. What about internet...she is already living a sedimentary lifestyle...she is probably a net surfer...without communication with her parents (Is on Oprah today) she could even be targeted by an internet perv. I am not saying it is all about her health in not getting or getting lipo it is also about the family and how she feels about herself. As well as her current health and the risk of lipo versus being fat.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

Would you let your 12 year old child get liposuction? Posted: 9/15/2008 5:58:59 PM
A child's body isnt mature at that age. She is still developing. Lipo does present dangers at any age but with low iron and young age she is risking her life. Everyone has the same number of fat cells. They do not regenerage. They increase in size. You remove some but not all of them...you continue to gain weight only you gain it in the areas that werent sucked. You end up lopsided and goofed up and that is if you get the surgery done correctly. I had a friend who was a model she went to contour her thighs. She thought a little off the tummy but and thighs would be nice. Help her career. But when she gained any weight there were still fat cells in her breasts so they were where she increased. Models do not have big boobs...so she ended up with fat in a place that is harder to exercise and without her career. She was 23. Imagine this on a child. First a child should learn to love themselves no matter what body they have. Second it is the parents responsibility to make sure the child grows up with good eating habit. That starts at birth upward. Also allowing a child to sit stagnant in front of a computer game console or TV isnt going to help the child for many reason. Poor health, over weight, vitamen deficiantcies, low self esteem comparing themselves to what they see, as well as it is an anti social behavior and is ruining families today. Why cant the family get bikes and go for evening rides together. Go to the park and walk and talk about thier day. Walk laps around the mall. Encourage snacks to be something needed to keep your body fueled but keep them healthy...an apple a pear, a spoon of p nut butter if you are very hungry and it is a couple of hours to dinner. Keep dinner small and simple. When the child has good habits instilled in them they will make better choices. I know what I am saying. I am overweight. I have struggled with body image. In high school I did the anorexic thing and lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks. I made myself sick to do it so I could get my mother's approval so she would help me buy a formal for a dance. I learned better habits when I started body building. (I did go over board with the lifting) Unfortunately when I stopped working out and eating right I ballooned up. Now I am a mom. I have a 3 year old boy and a 5 year old girl. My girl tends to be underweight while my son has a naturally sturdy frame. I have taught them early to eat if they are hungry just to eat better things. But never over eat. If you arent hungry then dont make yourself eat. Cleaning a plate is what you do when you do dishes not what you do at the dinner table. Candy is a very rare treat and I offer candy or an apple on those rare occasions that I have candy...and my children will choose the apple anyday over say a tootsie roll. They also drink milk, juice, or water...no tea or sodas. When my daughter asks about my weight and sees me doing what I shouldnt I speak plainly to her. I tell her yes I am drinking a soda and yes it tastes good. But here is what it does to the body. A little goes along way and if you are going to drink the soda then know what it does and know it is a choice you make. I know the soda isnt healthy but right now it is something I really want badly so I am having a small cup (A 2 oz bathroom size paper cup). I am not denying what I want but I am moderating it. It is tempting to drink the whole 20 oz but that would be very bad for my body. School is also teaching about eating and natural vitamens. Sometimes I do have to explain that it isnt always what you eat that will make you fat but how much you eat or how it is prepared. Incident: We were at a church pic nic for Easter. We were giving the kids pizza and soda. She asked for a coolade instead. (Her key word for flavored water) I told her they were gone the other children drank them. I said just have some of my soda...She said no thank you it will make you fat and rot your teeth. May I have a cup of water then..Unfortunately I was standing around a bunch of older overweight women at the time all with large cups of soda in hand. THey laughed and said she is right. So in this case I think the parents need to think things through. Why thier daughter is the way she is. Why she feels she needs the surgery. And what is she risking to have the surgery as opposed to other methods of weight loss and how they are making her weight an individual thing isolating her more instead of a family thing and drawing together.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

help Posted: 9/15/2008 11:55:21 AM
RP can be looked up on the computer to explain more fully in laymans terms what it is so you understand it better. You can ask a doctor but as we all know that is a pain. There is also medical books at the library. As for when to and how to explain it to him. I was born with a genetic disability...so was my daughter...she was also born with 3 things wrong with her heart and has severe anemia and last Christmas we had a cancer scare with her. Thank God she is cancer free we found out last February that she has a blood disorder that affects her clotting factor and immune system. They say there is a chance she will out grow that one. But she is 5. In our house the word cant is not allowed. If they use it then I substitute with I need help or did you try or I dont know how yet. That gives them a can do attitude. My best friend is blind. He is into computer repair has owned his own business, and been a DJ. Another friend is in a wheel chair after a drunk driving accident and owns his own recording studio. It isnt a case of why me it is a case of why should I believe it to be someone else...am I that self centered that I believe nothing should happen to me. To me a disability is there to make the playing field of life more equal. Like a handi cap in bowling or golf. THe one that gets the handi cap there is usually better at playing the game than anyone else. Any thing can be learned and over come. The real disability is the belief that you cant do something or self pity. I would start while he can see showing him how to do for himself and how to manage things that sighted people take for granted. You can pour a cup of juice by putting the tip of your finger at the edge of the cup and when you feel the juice touch your finger you know the cup is full. Yes there will be more spills than not in the beginning. I treat it as a game while they are young. Then if he does end up visually impaired he can still do for himself. Dont jump to do for him or he will learn to live his life needing people to do for him. Just like with a normal child (I have a normal one also) when they first learn to walk they fall...all kids do. You as a parent want to run over and pick them up. But you dont. You let them fall and are there if they need comfort but if they fall and dont get hurt they get back up and try again until eventually they are running faster than you as a parent can to keep up with them and thier scrapes. It is the same no matter what you are trying to teach. Be there for them to dry tears or be a shoulder. Be understanding and compassionate...but be strong and that is the hard part. Somedays they wont want to do for themselves but you have to be the one to make them strong. When they ask a question about why they dont seem to see as well as others just tell them God makes all people different and he knew that your child could handle it. And he was given other gifts to compensate for those things that are more difficult for him to do.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 338 (view)

Why don't tall men choose to date tall women? Posted: 9/14/2008 10:04:49 AM
I'd kill to find a woman I didn't have to stoop to kiss, or feel guilty becasue she stood on tip toes.... Know any? ME!!! ME!!! ME!!!! oh darn why do you have to be so far away....I think that is the whole problem here is the lack of availability of tall guys. Ok so some go out with short girls...so do short guys...there happens to be a lot of short girls and very few tall guys so it looks like all the tall guys go out with short girls...I found one and man the sack time was great....( he was 6 foot 6)....It wasnt so much the penis size...that is about the same on most men it was the fact I wasnt turned into a pretzel to be able to touch a greater area.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

whats a mans soft spot? Posted: 9/13/2008 11:25:02 PM
Ok medically...on a circumsized guy the area under the knob where the veins are. Guys love to have that rubbed. Especially during oral. Now if you are doing a hand job one hand on it and the other on the back of the neck (finger nails gently going in slow circles right where the hair meets the neck) while you suck the ear lobe always gets me flipped on my back quick. Also a hickie placed on the neck (previously mentioned spot) And they can be made without making a mark...it sensitizes the skin so when you rub it they get really hot and bothered. Then when you want them to be done but have a good time because you have had so many BIG O's it is beginning to hurt...the prostate is located about 1/2 inch to an inch inside thier rectum. they just think you are grabbing handfulls of butt to hang on...then there is also keigal exercises whiile the are in. You know the tightening of your pelvic interior muscles ladies....You do it when not having sex to keep tight...well...do it while having sex...they feel like they are being milked....They love it.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 334 (view)

Why don't tall men choose to date tall women? Posted: 9/13/2008 11:10:50 PM
Right now I would be happy just dating...lol...I am back on the dating market after about 6 years or so....4 of those (the most recent 4) were after seperation and divorce...I need to get out more....lol

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 76 (view)

Okay girls...need input.... Posted: 9/13/2008 11:09:00 PM
Course I have heard stories...of groceries...bananas cucumbers you name it...cover it with a condum...hmmm wonder if you can get vitamens that way...I mean my college buds refer to it as a protien pack anyway.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 54 (view)

OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ??? Posted: 9/13/2008 11:06:51 PM
ok and then there is gee "who is what...oh him...I dunno I fed him once and he followed me home...cute aint he. I am thinking about keeping him." Adds humor and gets the point across without being rude.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 279 (view)

Do you believe you can meet someone online? Posted: 9/13/2008 10:58:50 PM
I think it is percentages. If you meet 10 people in a week and odds are 1 in say 10,000 that you will find the right one then you have a 1 in a thousand chance. But if in that week you contact oh say 10,000 people (i know i know not realistic but just as an example) Odds are you will have a chance of meeting the right one. Doesnt that make sense. The more you meet and chat the more chance you have of getting it right. It is the lottery of LOVE...lol

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 272 (view)

Do you believe you can meet someone online? Posted: 9/13/2008 11:25:13 AM
Here's to hoping. I mean that is why I am on this site. I was on a phone chat line back in 1995 and met a guy I loved very much. It was like you read in romance novels. Unfortunately things didnt work out. But I loved every minute of the relationship. I still think of him fondly and have a smile for evey memory of him. I hope he is doing well wherever he may be. Now I am looking again only instead of the phone I am using a computer.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ??? Posted: 9/13/2008 11:21:12 AM
...and maybe its me, but I think bed buddy, f!ck puppet, the penis, stud muffin, etc. probably would probably generate even more questions. Yes, I know in theory we don't need labels, but its easier once you get the job title right. I like f!ck puppet, but my mother probably wouldn't.... Any other suggestions?. Significant other, ball and chain, other half, better half (when you are in a good mood), bed warmer, sheet thief, dinner, restrant patron (if he likes to eat out) ..ok that wasnt so good ....dinner partner, life partner, straight life partner, my sweetie, the person I am currently seeing exclusively, my current interest, my hobby, boffing buddy, there are so many to choose from you have to talk to him and see what he is comfortable being called.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Do woman mind dating shorter men? Posted: 9/13/2008 11:12:44 AM
Why is it a matter of height. I mean I am 6 foot tall. I do occationally wear heels. As garfield says I am not fat I am under tall so some days the heels are slimming...I hope...lol. I dont care about the height of a man. I would date anyone with a good heart. Yes I am attracted to big guys simply because they arent embarrassed by me and make me walk like 3 feet away from them in stores so people wont know they are with me. That and it is nice to be made to feel small and feminine. But I would date someone who is genuine and caring and sweet even if I could bounce him on my knee as long as he treats me right...and loves my kids. I think there are just to many people looking for a reason to blame on why they cant get someone of the opposite sex. I was jsut on a thread about a tall woman saying no short men would date her. Here it is shorter men saying tall woman wont date them. Get real. There are some saying it is because they have kids. Or no money. Or wrong looks, wrong skin color....what ever. I mean have you ever looked into yourself and said ok maybe it isnt my looks but what is inside. Once you are happy with you and have confidence maybe you will find women beating down the doors for you. And they will treat you better because you demand better for yourself and dont settle for less. Lets face it when I am with the right guy he gets regular massages. He gets good home cooked meals. He is king in his home. Yet look at me. I am single and on here. Ok so I did just start back in the market and I do have 2 young children. My pic is nice but not sexy. But that is me. I am nice and comfortable...not sexy...I can be but that is for adult time only. I am happy with who I am and just looking for the right person to share that with.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 329 (view)

Why don't tall men choose to date tall women? Posted: 9/13/2008 11:03:24 AM
1. I am tall. 2. I reply. 3. None of you tall seeking men are in my area. Toe to toe and your nose is in it. Nose to nose and your toes are in it??? Ok now that is out of the way...lol...there is a club for tall people. Many have married other club members. For a woman you have to be at least 5 foot 8 to join. For a man you have to be at least 6 foot. I saw it on the learning channel (TLC-Cable). I am tall at 6 foot. I date em tall I date em short. I am just happy to date. But some of the shorter ones make me walk way away from them in public because they are worried how people will see them with me. Talk about shallow. I asked a guy who was short and I dated why he persued me if he was going to dump me for a shorter girl anyway what the whole point was and why I couldnt find a man for long term...this was many years ago...he said he wanted to see what it was like to date a tree. And after seeing his curiousity was appeased he wanted someone who looked good on his arm. He said no man wants a woman that is more of a man than he is...(Yet he wanted a girl that shoved a hair brush up his...welll)..Ok so I was considered a freak of nature. Oh well. The key is to be happy with who you are no matter your size. When you find a real man and not a boy who is more concerned with how much he loves you and not with how you look on his arm then who cares about height. You both have to be secure people and that is the bottom line.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 33 (view)

What are your joys of parenting? Posted: 9/13/2008 10:27:41 AM
On a day when you have been cleaning house. You havent showered because you are on your hands and knees scrubbing floors and tub. You have a full laundry basket to take to the wash room and the phone rings. When you get off the phone the basket is gone. Your 5 year old and 3 year old teamed up and carried it to the laundry room for you....(and they are even trying to pick up the socks that fell out of it) when you find them doing this your 3 year old looks up at you and says mommy you are so pretty I love you....that makes it all better...and worth every minute.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 74 (view)

Okay girls...need input.... Posted: 9/13/2008 10:23:39 AM
Knutcase, that's what on-line shopping is for... Although I wouldn't recommend ebay. Yes but that requires a credit card which I dont have...lol...I try to stay away from things that get me into trouble...hmmm wonder if that is why I havent had sex in 4 years...good sex in 6...Also you hear so much about people stealing your identity online and when you have a card. That scares me. So todays sociaty. Sex even alone has now become dangerous...lol. Wrong man you get diseases or worse. Alone you can lose your identity and good name....When did it all get so complicated just to get a little relief. I mean the guys see a woman say she is a b%$%$ and needs to get some. Yet getting some is so difficult...as they say a hard man is good to find...lol

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 2078 (view)

do men actually exist that date women with kids?? Posted: 8/31/2008 9:18:51 PM
Either way from a personal standpoint. I have kids. Guys view my prof and they dont want kids. I get tired of hearing that. I mean ok sure my kids are very young even though I am in my mid 30's ish. Yes with me it is like raising them from scratch. Most my age have teenagers so they really arent there much except to disapprove of your exsistance. In my case I have two lovely children a 3 year old and a 5 year old. She told me to go to Wal-mart and get her a new daddy. We discussed the fact that they are ready for me to date and find a man. I know I am ready. But the man I have to find has to love kids and if we get serious then he has to become a father. I can't give them back. They are permanent. And they will always be a part of me. I would date someone with kids for the simple fact if thier kids are young then they are playmates for mine. If they are older then they are built in babysitters and roll models. (not that I would insist if they didnt want to help out). But I do expect if I ever find the right man that he could accept my children as his own and treat them the way he would treat a child from his loins. Now that also brings up another aspect. When there are kids in the relationship there is bound to be baby daddies and baby mommas out there that tend to make relationships difficult. They get in the way. They can cause problems. Again this isnt one of my difficulties. I have sole permanent custody. Their biologic hasnt seen them in more than 3 years. He hasnt spoken on the phone to them in over a year. But I can see where this could be a problem if he was different. I mean my brother has 2 kids by his ex she is remarried with 3 more kids by her hubbie. My brother started dating a nice woman. His ex pumped his 2 for info on her weekends and would call and deliberately try to mess up his dates by constantly asking where he was did he know where this ones shoes were or that ones game controllers...etc. It was never ending. Lucky for him his new woman was able to accept all this in stride and didnt let it scare her off.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 151 (view)

leashes? Posted: 8/31/2008 9:05:23 PM
And to me kids on leashes are dead wrong to me under any circumstances. . I have 2 very well behaved children. I took them to the fair last year (back in October). He was 2 and she was 4. I got a leash. My father pitched a fit. I used to be against it but I thought to try it since the stroller wouldnt fit in the car with the 2 car seats and the diaper bag, my purse, and the spare back pack for all their won goodies. I mean I knew even the best behaved kid is going to have a short attention span especially with all that excitement around. Not to mention the crowds. I put one end on my sons arm and had my daughter hold the other end and I put the middle thru my belt loop. It was like holding hands but my hands were free for wiping noses. Holding hot dogs. Counting money (they dont take debit at a fair). I mean lets face it I wasnt doing it to be demeaning with harness and all that but at the same time I am a single mother trying to do something with 2 very young children. I want to give them memories of places we couldnt go if I had to haul around a 40 pound 2 year old and hold the hand of a 35 pound 4 year old, while lugging all the gear that we have to carry for thier benefit and comfort. Not to mention the baloon they dont want on thier wrist but they want to hold so I hold the end where they cant see I am holding it so I dont have tear when it slips thru thier fingers. Yes I am cautious. I watch them carefully. But with more than one they tend to tag team you and go in 2 different directions. Also if I move forward while talking to one and heaven forbid not realize the other thinks I am standing still while she looks at everything around her with a tug on the line she knows I am moving and I didnt lose either one of them. We had a lovely time and it was easier since they got to move around instead of sitting not getting any exercize while I lugged a huge and heavy rediculous stroller that takes 10 minutes to get in the car. (after they are already tired and cranky). As for leashes I am for them. Not everywhere you go, mind you. And not in leu of teaching them to mind. But in certain circumstances they are worth it. I mean it isnt like I am staking them out in the back yard...lol

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

What are your joys of parenting? Posted: 8/31/2008 8:35:34 PM
I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old. They learned the "your not my friend" in daycare. My son says it all the time when he doesnt get his way. He was in the ER sick today and I asked did he want his blankie...No....did he want TV....no did he want a drink....no....what did he want...."I want you mommy."......also at bed time he runs up and says I love you finninny....(translation I love you infinity.) My daughter believes hugs are the healing balm for all ills. Fall and scratch her knees and she wants a hug and kiss. She will go up to my father who is an electrician so always has boo boos and kiss each boo boo on his hand.

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 69 (view)

Okay girls...need input.... Posted: 8/31/2008 8:30:38 PM
I actually saw a plug in model at a "shop"...wonder if you get a shock from it...hmmm...makes you want to just hook it up to a car motor sometimes...lol..too bad I live in the Bible Belt now and can't find a store like that. Wal-mart's brand of back massagers are just weak...lol

Joined: 8/26/2008

Msg: 78 (view)

Why is being funny so important to women? Posted: 8/31/2008 8:21:30 PM
Sharing life's joys and sorrows are a must if you want to be a good partner. When you partner is down then she would like someone to cheer her up after having a good cry. Also laughing makes you feel good and if you feel good when you are with someone then you obviously want to be with them more. If you are single then you have had the incident we all probably share. Your watching your favorite T.V. show and either something funny happens in it or there is an unbelievably good commercial that makes you laugh. You look around and realize you are alone and laughing like a loon. You either call someone and say you will never believe this or you feel like an idiot and stifle your laughter. Now if you have a partner you can laugh with she may be in the kitchen cooking or doing laundry and you can walk in and tell her what you saw and she is going to laugh with you and moments like that will draw you closer. Life is too hard to take seriously. Personally I am one of those that want someone with a sense of humor. Not someone who when I say something dumb deliberately for laughs looks at me like I have lost it or who actually believes I am that dumb or puts me down for my joke. A guy who can laugh will take it a step further. That is part of the spice of life that makes things so enjoyable. We dont want to sound depressing and like we need to be "treated" by saying I am looking for a man to let me cry on his shoulder all the time. It is easier to say looking to share laughter.

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